04x16 - Invisible House For Sale

[bunniefuu]

Ah! Jeannie.

There, master.

Now the tree is all trimmed,

and we can go to our island
for the Sunday...

Jeannie, not here.
Don't blink in here.

The tree hasn't been trimmed,
it's been blinked.

Now put that thing back.

Oh, but master,

ever since I found
that island where they sent you

I've wanted to go there
with you,

and you promised me that
this Sunday we could go.

Yeah, I know, but the island's
gonna have to... Hi, Miss Gordan.

The island's just gonna
have to wait.

I've... After I finish the tree,

I gotta mow the lawn
and paint the kitchen windows.

It's just gonna take all day,
that's all.

Not if you let me help you.

No help, thanks. No help.
No, put it back.

Oh, but master, last Sunday
you weeded the entire back lawn,

the Sunday before,
you cleaned the garage...

Yes, I know.

And you would not let me
help with any of it.

Jeannie, I like to putter
around the house.

It relaxes me.

Now come on.
Put it back, will you?

Yes, master.

And all he does
when he gets home from NASA

is work around the house.

He has not had time for me
in over a month.

Mmmm, mm.

What kind of sandwich is that?

Chopped yak ears.

It is my mother's
favorite recipe.

What am I going to do,
Major Healey?

Ahem. Tell your mother
to stick to tuna fish.

Oh, no. I mean about my master.

Well, why don't you tell him
to sell the house

and move into an apartment.

He won't have to mow the lawns
or wash the windows.

He'll have more time
for everything.

Is, uh, this a pickle?

Mm-hm.

You mean if he did not have
this house,

he would have more time for me.

I thought you said
this is a pickle.

It is.
It is a Persian pepper pickle.

Water. Water, water.
Oh, Major Healey, that is not...

Don't tell me.
Don't tell me what that is.

Don't tell me what it is.
I'll get the water myself.

Don't tell me.

Hello, Major Nelson's residence.

Hello? Ahem.

Oh, hello, Dr. Bellows.

Uh, Major Healey?
Yes, sir. He's here.

Oh, uh, right away,
doctor. Yes, bye.

Master, I have
the most wonderful idea.

Yeah, just a second.

Dr. Bellows wants to see us
in his office right away.

His office? Today's Sunday.

Yeah, but not for
Mr. Winkler.

I'll change here, then we'll
drop off at your place.

Wait a minute. But we
can't change... Master?

Now you have to have time
to listen to me.

Huh. Huh?
You're not gonna believe this.

Master...
Look, don't g*ng up on me.

I have tasted things in my life.
All right. Here.

I had the most wonderful idea.
What?

We will be so happy together.

Oh, master, I think
we should sell the house.

Roger. Roger.
Is that all right, master?

Anything you want.

Roger, what have you done to me?
Roger!

Very well.
I will sell it myself.

Welcome to NASA, Mr. Winkler.

Nice having you with us, sir.

Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you.

Well, now that we're finished
with the small talk,

how long will it take you
to give a rundown

on your evaluation of
life-support for Apollo ?

Uh, Tony will...

- Well, I, uh... I...
- Uh, Mr. Winkler,

in all fairness, you weren't
expected until tomorrow.

Dr. Bellows,
I've made $ million

by getting places
quicker than the competition.

And that is exactly the
philosophy I intend to use

to put the United States
first on the moon.

Gentlemen?

Well, I think we could brief you
in about six hours, sir.

Think, major. "About"?

Six hours, sir.

That's what I like to hear.

Let's go, gentlemen.

Wouldn't you rather
get settled first?

Take a look around Cocoa Beach?
Find a house?

My wife is taking care of that.

The race is to the swift,
Dr. Bellows.

Not to the gum-chewers.

Oh, our first buyer.

Oh, Mr. Merkle, I really think
this is going to be too small.

We were looking for something
a bit more, uh, elegant.

Well, you never can tell.

A lot of times, these little
places will surprise you.

It's worth a quick look.

Well, good afternoon,
little lady.

Charlie Merkle,
of Merkle, Markle and Fitz.

How do you do,
Mr. Merkle-Markle-and-Fitz?

Well, w-won't you come in,
please?

Uh, before we bother
looking inside,

how many bedrooms do you have?

How many would you like?

Well, we'd need at least three.

One for the maid, you know.

Oh.

Well, I can arrange that.

Very... quaint.

Very quaint. It's too small.

Oh, but you have not
seen it yet.

Oh, I'm sure it's very
cozy and... And, uh, charming,

but you see, my husband's
rather an important man

and we need something
a bit larger.

Oh, well, my master
is an important man too.

Well, of course he is, my dear,
but it really is too small.

We were looking for something
in the , range.

All right.

"All right," what?

I will take , .

I'm sure you would,

but, uh, ,
for this... cottage?

I'll bet it doesn't even
have a formal dining room.

Come, Mr. Merkle.

My master would not be without
a formal dining room.

This way, please.

You call this
the formal dining room?

Oh. No, no, no.
This is the, uh...

The breakfast nook.

This is the formal dining room.

See?

Who would have believed it?

This way to the chef's kitchen.

You must give rather large
dinner parties, Mrs...?

Jeannie...

Uppington-Smythe,
with a hyphen and a Y.

Why don't we look at the rest
of it, Mrs. Uppington-Smythe?

Yes, may we?
Oh, of course.

Would you, um...?

Would you care to step out
on the veranda?

It's gorgeous.

Unfortunately, you cannot see
the tennis courts from here.

They're over there...

behind the stables.

Ah... the billiard room.

My master finds it so relaxing.

This is really
the most puzzling house.

So cozy and intimate in here,

and everywhere else
is like a mansion.

Well, actually,

this is my master's
favorite part of the house.

It's a real bargain at , .
It's a steal.

Um, it...
It's not really a bad house.

Not exactly what we wanted,
but, uh, it might do.

Do you mind if I use your
telephone to call my husband?

Oh, of course not.

Now, this is the area
that was modified, sir.

We had a little trouble with
the respirator unit last month.

I see.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Oh, yes. Just a moment.

It's for you, sir.
Thank you.

Not you.
Oh.

Here you go.
Thank you.

Hello?

Natalie, I told you
not to bother me today.

Oh. That good, huh?

Wait a minute.

Gentlemen,
my wife found a house for us.

She wants me
to take a look at it

before somebody else grabs it.

Would you mind too much if we
postponed the rest of this

until tomorrow?

Well, we were planning
on working, sir.

Oh.

If you feel that way...

Well, I will make
the sacrifice, though.

Oh, Natalie?
What's the address?

...Palm Drive?

Where is that?
Palm Drive.

That's near your house.
I'll give him directions.

Roger, that is my house.
Oh, that's right.

You better give him directions.

He's trying to buy my house.

Um, um, sir, you...
You can't leave right now.

Well... Heh.

Well, it's only a day, major.

Well, no. Seventeen hours,
minutes and seconds.

You wanna be first
on the moon, don't you?

Certainly do.

Eh, look, Natalie, I'm
not going to make it out

to that house for five hours.

It'll take longer
than that, sir.

You said the whole thing
would only take six hours.

That's before he knew
you were gonna buy his...

That's before we knew
you weren't familiar

with the basic
specifications, sir.

It'll take at least
till midnight.

That'll be too late
to see the house.

Hmm.

Natalie, it looks
as if I'm not gonna get out

until the first thing
tomorrow morning.

But dear, if it's such a steal,

why don't you give Miss...?
Mrs...? What's her name?

Yeah, Mrs. Jeannie
Uppington-Smythe.

Give her a deposit.

Jeannie, uh,
Uppington-Smythe?

Yeah. That's the owner.

Come on, gentlemen.
Let's get to it.

Oh, yes. Yes. Uh, Roger?
You take over, and, uh...

Me take over?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I thought you were both
going to brief me. Yeah.

Duplication of effort, sir.
It's wasteful and inefficient,

and we don't wanna
be inefficient, do you...? We...?

Uh, you take over, Roger.

And he's a very comp... Comp...
Yes, sir.

Jeannie?

Jeannie?!

Do you like it, master?

Welcome to your new home,
master.

The Capri Riviera Lanai
Apartments.

Is it not cozy, master?

And just think,
there are no lawns to mow,

no hedges to clip.

There will be nothing but time
for us together.

Mwah.
Heh, heh, heh.

We're not moving.
Now, let me see.

We're not moving.

I think the sofa
will go right there.

Jeannie, this is ridiculous. I...
You do not like it there?

Well, perhaps you are right.
It would look better there.

Hey. No, no, Jeannie. No.

Jeannie, no. I'm telling you...
Oh, and a chair.

I'm tel...

Ah!
Jeannie, what are you doing?

I don't want...
Lovely, lovely.

Here. I tell you,
we're not moving.

Oh, but, master,
we are already moved.

Yeah.
Where should I put my bottle?

Don't worry about your bottle...

Because I'm getting outta
here, wherever I am.

Hi.
Hi.

Uh, where's Shirley?

Uh, Shirley?

Mm-hm.

Doesn't she live here anymore?
No, she had to move suddenly.

Um, I'm... Yes.

Oh.

That's too bad.
Are you moving in?

Yes, I'm the new tenant.

I'm sure you'll like it.

Well, I'll see you around.

By the pool?

By the pool.

She's, uh, obviously...
Shirley!

Oh.
Oh.

Pardon me, uh, where's Shirley?

Shirley had to move.
She, uh... She moved suddenly.

Oh, I'm glad.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm glad.

It was a pleasure meeting you.
Yeah, yeah.

She's cute.
Yes, she is.

See you by the pool?
Bye! Yes.

Well, how about that.

I do not like it here.
We will find a new apartment.

Yeah, well, they're all alike.

All of them?
All of 'em.

Well.

I have changed my mind, master.

We are not moving.

Have it your own way,
Jeannie, but remember,

Mr. Winkler's coming tomorrow
to close the deal.

Oh, do not worry
about Mr. Winkler, master.

I will give him his deposit back
tomorrow, and that will be that.

Ah. Okay.

Anything you want, Jeannie.

There.

Now Mr. Winkler
will not see the house.

Wrong again.
Good morning, Major Nelson.

Oh, good morning, sir.

Oh, uh, Mr. Winkler
will be a little late.

He called a few minutes ago

and said that he was looking
at a house in your neighborhood.

He says it has
a tennis court and stables.

I didn't know there were
any estates in your area.

Well, it sounds like
real-estate agent talk, sir.

You know how they're
prone to exaggerate.

Well, it's pretty hard
to exaggerate a tennis court.

I mean, either you've got one,
or you haven't.

Have you any idea
where this house is?

Um...

Yes, sir,
I think I know the house.

But I also think he's not
gonna see anything in it.

Ah-ha.

Well, I guess Tony
decided to move after all.

Felt like I ran into a door.

It is a door.

And a knob.

It's a doorknob.

Invisible house.
Ha, ha, ha.

Cute.

Very cute.

Oh!

I should have noticed
the invisible wall.

Well, here we are, and, uh...

Anybody...?
Ahem.

Any, uh...?
Anybody home?

Hoo-hoo.

Don't come down
unless you're dressed.

Don't come down
unless you're dressed.

Ah.

Jeannie?

Major Healey. Please, go away.

I don't know if you've noticed,
but this house is...

Is invisible.

I know, I know.

It is according
to my master's instructions.

Please go away, Major Healey.

You will spoil everything.

Tony's instructions?

Well, here we are,
Mr. Winkler.

It doesn't look like much
from the outside.

It sure doesn't.

But I'll tell you this, you're
gonna be surprised when you...

Uh-oh.
It's Mr. Winkler.

That's funny.

I'm sure I came up
the right street.

Major Healey?

Is that you?

Mr. Winkler.
Hello, Mr. Winkler. Ha.

Major, would you mind
stepping over here for a minute?

Over there? Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?

Major, would you mind telling me
what you were doing over there?

What was I doing over there?
What was I doing?

What...? What...?

Oh, I-I was, um...

I was picking wildflowers.
I'm a great wildflower buff.

Wildflowers.

Is that what you do mornings
when you should be at NASA?

Well, now...
Oh, well,

this is a very special day.
The blue lupine are in bloom.

The blue lupine.

Yellow-blue lupine, sir.
Bye, sir.

Not there? What do you mean,
it's not there?

I don't understand, darling.

How can a house
I was in yesterday

not be there today?

It wasn't there,
Mrs. Winkler.

It wasn't there.

You probably wrote down
the wrong address.

Palm Drive.

Palm Drive?

That's Major Nelson's house.
Then he lives on an empty lot.

I knew it.

Every time something
strange happens,

Major Nelson is involved.

Let's go, everyone.

We'll soon see exactly
what's at Palm Drive.

Look out. Look...
Open the door, will you?

I'm opening the door!

Jeannie, I wanna talk to you!

Look out, Tony,
you're gonna hit the...

Door.

I thought you said this...
The house was gone.

Yeah. Not gone, invisible.

Terrific.

Yeah.

Jeannie? Jeannie?

Jeannie?

Master.

Are you not proud of me?

I did exactly as you said.

Put it back.

But, master,
Mr. Winkler may come by,

and then he will see it.

Yes, he's gonna come back
and he's gotta see it.

Now, you put this house back
just the way you found it.

Go... And then get outta here.

Oh, but, master, I really do not
think that you should...

You don't have to think.

All you have to do
is follow orders, understand?

Huh? Yeah.
Yeah.

Yes, master.

Well, the house is back.

Jeannie, what...?
What are you trying to do to me?

Hey, uh, when did you
put in a tennis court?

Huh? Oh!

And you redecorated
your kitchen.

Oh!

Oh, if Dr. Bellows
ever sees this...

Jeannie!

But, Natalie, I'm telling you,

an hour ago,
this house was not here.

Oh, really.

You should get Dr. Bellows
to give you an examination.

You've been having
hallucinations.

Hallucinations, my dear,

are when you see things
that aren't there.

Well, there must be some name

for not seeing things
that are there.

Come on, darling. I want you
to see the swimming pool,

and the stable,
and the tennis court.

A swimming pool and tennis court
at Major Nelson's house?

This I've gotta see.

Oh, remember, don't let him
get past the living room.

Hello... Hello, sir.

Uh, Dr. Bellows,
I was just

on my way to the base.

What are you doing here?

I-I was just on my way
to the base.

Just a moment, major.

Mr. and Mrs. Winkler
would like to see the house,

and so, I might add, would I.

I'd love to show you the house,
but it's a mess.

Yeah, leaves all over
the tennis court.

Where is Mrs. Uppington-Smythe?
Who?

Mrs. Uppington-Smythe.

The young lady
who showed the house yesterday.

There's no
Mrs. Uppington-Smythe here.

You must have the wrong house.

This is the house, major.

And I intend
to show it to my husband.

Come, Erwin.
Well, Mr. Winkler...

I don't know what you're
doing here in the first place.

Mr. Winkler...
Just a moment, major.

Tennis court and stables?

Not if I can help it.

Is this what you call
a formal dining room?

No, no,
this is the breakfast nook.

This is the formal dining room.
No, ha, ha.

Whoa!

Well, it's a pretty spacious
dining room.

Erwin, I swear to you
that yesterday

there was a huge
formal dining room

there with a crystal chandelier.

She's right. I saw it. I saw it.

I saw it. I saw a chandelier.

Major Nelson.

I was in this house yesterday

and a Mrs. Uppington-Smythe
showed me a formal dining room,

and a chef's kitchen,
and a billiard room,

and a swimming pool,
and stable and tennis courts.

Where are they?

Now, now, now, now...
Don't... Don't get upset.

You just made a mistake.

I am not upset.

I know what I saw.

Erwin, come with me.

I am going to show you
the swimming pool.

There's really no need
to do that, ma'am.

Major Nelson?

I don't know what to say,

except that I'm glad it's them
instead of me for a change.

Don't tell me I'm crazy, Erwin.

I saw the swimming pool
here yesterday.

And I saw the tennis courts...

Well, I suppose you want
an explanation, don't you.