02x10 - Bizarros in a Bizarro World

[bunniefuu]

Soon I'll be able to save everyone.

[EERIE MUSIC]

You're too late.

She made it to the other side.

Then I'll bring her back.

You can't, Superman.

Not even you can make it through.

Not in that.

[SCREAMS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[HEART b*ating]

♪ ♪

Ereh sdrawkcab s'gnihtyreve.

♪ ♪

Nosredna.

[WHOOSHING]

♪ ♪

[MUFFLED DISTANT VOICES,
TRAFFIC HONKING]

[ECHOING RINGING]

[DARK MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Ssertrof sih.

♪ ♪

[SNORES]

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[BEEPING]

♪ ♪

Kal?

Did he send you?

My son?

Yltcaxe ton.

Not exactly.

He's gone.

- Sorry.
- [SIGHS]

Ally Allston's oblivion stone...

was he able to destroy it on your Earth?

He tried.

I told him it was impossible,

but he wouldn't listen,

desperate to regain what he once had.

He was a good man...

but he was lost.

He was trying to make things right.

♪ ♪

Do you know where I can find
the Ally Allston of this earth?

I have to before she merges...

She has both pendants?

I believe so.

And the Ally of my world
is here as well.

Then it is only a matter of time

before she becomes
the most powerful being

on this planet.

The rest of the world
will have no choice:

either merge or die.

It is simply not possible
for humans to coexist

with beings of that magnitude.

[HOLOGRAM HUMS, GLITCHES]

♪ ♪

- Jon?
- We'll take this with us,

all right? Ally Allston
knows you're here.

How's that possible?

I'll explain later.

We need to get to the farm.

It's the safest place to hide out

until we come up with a plan, at least.

You can fly?

Do a lot more than that.

[DRAMATIC WHOOSHING]

[THUNDEROUS CRASH]

- [BIRDS CAWING]
- What's wrong?

It's the red sun. It weakens me.

Let's get you inside.

[SOFT FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

You coming?

♪ ♪

- How'd you know I was here?
- Well, your face is plastered

on every TV in the world right now.

Ally's followers have total control

of the media.

Check it out.

You must immediately report

any sighting of this
Kryptonian fugitive.

And remember, the ascension
is nearly upon us, my friends.

And on that day, I will show the world

how it feels to become whole.

♪ ♪

How long has she been...

In power?

A few months. It's crazy.

Ally saw that the world was broken,

and she just... she took advantage.

She made people believe
that there was an easy way

to fix everything.

And people just...

willingly followed her?

At first, yeah.

How do we find her?

My guess is, she's still at the DOD.

- The DOD?
- Yeah.

She and her people took it over.

She has both pendants
and her other self.

The best place to merge
would be somewhere

where no one can get inside.

Except you and me.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

What are you looking for?

Something to help you power up.

It seems like you need it, no?

I knew my dad would have some Kryptonite

in here somewhere.

I'm not sure that's such a good idea.

♪ ♪

Well...

you have my restraint
than my dad, I guess.

I assume you met him
when he escaped your Earth

to be a hero again.

I did, yes.

And why didn't he come back with you?

[SOMBER MUSIC]

He's dead, isn't he?

I knew he'd fail.

He forgot what it was
to be a hero a long time ago.

I think he was just trying to...

fix all the wrong.

There's no fixing that,

not with me.

The two of you didn't get along?

Yeah, let's just say

that we didn't exactly see eye to eye

on some decisions I made.

It was his way or the skyway, you know?

You know, sometimes,
parents... they, um...

they can get stuck in their ways.

But I'm sure he just wanted
what was best for you.

[LAUGHS]

Best for me?

Did he even mention I existed?

He didn't really have a chance.

Yeah, because he didn't care.

Yes, he did, Jonathan.

More than you'll ever know.

- He loved you.
- Enough!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

You should've disappeared
like I told you to.

♪ ♪

[CROWD CLAMORING]

Okay, we're here.

How long do we have
to stay at this thing?

An hour, maybe two.

They're giving your dad a major award.

Let me guess. World's greatest dad?

[SIGHS] Not this again.

Can we please just try
to have one nice night

together as a family?

You know it doesn't happen often

with your dad's schedule.

Yeah, whatever.

I have to get out there.

Just try to enjoy yourselves.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- It's him!
- Oh, my God!

[GASPS] It's really him!

Hello, hello, hello. Hello.

- Mr. El, please!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Big Jim, Big Jim, it's okay.
- Mrs. El, please!

Uh, how 'bout we just get
a picture for these guys?

Thank you so much.
We're like your biggest fans.

Aw, well, I owe it all
to people like you.

- [LAUGHS]
- Smile, guys.

Look at him.

- [CHEERING]
- There you go.

Dad's definitely never met
a fan he didn't like.

[CROWD CLAMORING]

- [CRASH]
- Wh... whoa!

[HUMMING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SCREAMING]

[TRIUMPHANT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Wow.

♪ ♪

Looks like Jonathan
finally got his powers.

- This complicates things.
- It's perfect.

He can finally see what I deal
with on a daily basis.

What, are you suggesting
we let our -year-old son

be a hero?

With my guidance.

And he only goes on missions with me.

That way, I can show him
the ins and outs.

[CROWD TALKING EXCITEDLY]

- You're a hero!
- Can you tell us how long

- have you been able to fly?
- Can I get a picture with you?

You really think he's ready for this?

You're right.

We should call Deb.

Let's talk outfits.

I assumed he'd be wearing
the same suit as his dad.

Actually, um, I mean,

I was thinking of something
maybe more casual,

but also cooler.

Simple but stylish.

A hero for the next generation. Love it.

Have you thought of a name
for me to give the press?

Oh, um...

What about Superboy?

Seriously trying
to embarrass me right now?

I-I like it.

Just Jon-El.

Son of Kal-El.

It's important the world knows
that the Els are a family

- of heroes.
- Well...

most of the Els.

He's just teasing.

Your powers are gonna
come in any day now.

It's great that you're carrying on

the family name, but
you might wanna think

of a way to make yourself
stand out from your dad.

Like what? Like a catchphrase?

I think we can do better than that.

[WEEN'S "EXACTLY WHERE I'M AT"]

♪ I'm on stage ♪

♪ It's all an act ♪

♪ I'm really scared
that I may fall back ♪

♪ On the abstract ♪

♪ It'd be exactly where I'm at ♪

♪ If you're to be the roaming eye ♪

♪ Well, pry it open ♪

♪ And let me tell you why it sees ♪

♪ The harsh realities ♪

[SIREN WAILING]

[WHOOSHING]

♪ ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪

[CHEERING]

♪ So let's begin
with the past in front ♪

♪ And all the things ♪

♪ That you really don't care about now ♪

[CHEERING]

Okay, come on. This way.

[CROWD CHEERING]

♪ ♪

[TIRES SCREECHING]

♪ ♪

Where have you been?

Uh, just out saving the world.

We have talked about this.
You're not supposed

to do any of that without your father.

Mom, relax. All right?

It was a simple accident.

I don't need Dad's help.

That's not the point!

Yeah, but it kinda is, though.

You are barely .

- That is not your call to make.
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure

that that unicorn left the barn
as soon as the world saw

- what I could do.
- I am your father.

You do what I tell you to do,
you understand?

Oh, so now you wanna be my dad

now that I have powers.

Where were you before?

Don't you take that tone with me.

You know exactly where I was.

Actually, yeah, yeah, I do.

Uh, selling your shoe line

and hosting the Kevins.

Oh, and the trips
with President Seinfeld.

I have responsibilities, Jonathan!

I thought, by now,
you would understand that.

That's the thing, Dad.

It's always, always

about me understanding you.

Maybe, for once in your life,

you should think about how I'm feeling.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Jonathan, can we please
just talk about this?

Forget it.

I was supposed to meet
Misty minutes ago.

No, but I'm here now, Jonathan.

Well, it's not always about you, Pops.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[WEEN'S "MUTILATED LIPS"]

♪ I lick my brain in silence ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Rather squeeze my head instead ♪

It feels like my dad has
no idea who I am anymore.

Probably not.

I mean, do you even know?

- Know what?
- Who you are.

It just seems like,
ever since we've met,

you've been trying to find yourself,

like a part of you has been missing.

♪ Please calm it down ♪

I guess maybe that's true.

I know it's true,

which is why there's someone
I'd like you to meet.

♪ Brown ♪

♪ Mutilated lips give
a kiss on the wrist ♪

♪ Of the wormlike tips ♪

♪ Of tentacles expanding in my mind ♪

♪ I'm fine, accepting only fresh brine ♪

♪ You can get another drop of this ♪

♪ ♪

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Jonathan El.

♪ ♪

It's nice to finally meet you.

You're the lady behind
those uprisings in Star City.

A simple misunderstanding.

The government started the riots.

They see that Ally
has a billion followers

- and...
- Misty, please.

That's not important right now.

♪ ♪

You are.

- Me?
- You have gifts.

Many. There's something

that I would like to show you...

if you're open to it...

[TENSE MUSIC]

Something that would change everything

that you think you know about yourself.

♪ ♪

Sure.

Why not?

Wonderful.

Samantha.

Fix Jonathan a cup of tea.

Enough!

You should've disappeared
like I told you to.

Don't tell him anything.
He's working for Ally.

♪ ♪

Jonathan!

Now, you're gonna tell me

where I can find those pendants.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

'Cause I've had enough.
I can't live like this, Kal.

[SOFT TENSE MUSIC]

You can't just take our son and leave.

I tried to make this work.

I really did, but you refuse to change.

Oh, that's not true!

I hardly go out anymore!

I cut back on the press!

You should've cut all of it!

The interviews, the galas,
the calendar sh**t.

How many times have I told you?

It's part of the job!

And the Kryptonite?

Is that part of the job too?

- It's making me better, okay?
- It's making you crazy!

All you do, day and night,
is fly around the world!

- It never ends!
- I'm a superhero, Lois!

I go where people need me!

We need you, damn it!

Jordan and I... we need you
just like Jonathan did!

I can't just stop saving people!

That is not what I'm saying.

Kal, I don't blame you for all of this.

I am just as responsible for
what happened as you are.

But Jonathan never felt heard or seen,

and it turned him into somebody
I can hardly recognize.

I'm not gonna let that happen again.

♪ ♪

Everything you had
was because of me, Lois.

This life!

This family!

All of it was me!

♪ ♪

Do you hear me?

[SCREAMS]

[FLAMES CRACKLING]

I didn't know where else to go.

You came to the right place.

I'm sorry to burden you with all this.

Nothing's more important
to me than my daughters.

- Nothing.
- I know.

You've always been there for me.

But you also didn't need me
showing up out of the blue,

upset about the exact thing

you warned me would happen with Kal,

especially with all this
Ally Allston stuff happening.

Don't you worry.

We're gonna get this movement
of hers under control.

Dad, it's more than a movement.

She's recruiting political agitators,

ex-m*llitary, people with powers.

We're gonna stop her, Lois,

and then we're gonna get Jon
outta that damn cult.

[ALARM BLARING]

What's happening?

It's your grandson.

[ALARM BLARING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- Go, go, go!
- Now! Now!

[g*nshots]

♪ ♪

You move, you die.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Project- . Where is it?

You're trying to keep your father

from stopping Ally Allston.

Where is it?

You're not getting my X-K, son.

If you don't give it to us,

I will freeze all the skin
off your face, General.

Jonathan, that void that you feel,

the one that you think
Ally's gonna magically fill

by helping you become
someone new... that's not there

because there's something
wrong with you.

- Where is ?
- We never taught you

what was really important in life.

It's not magazine covers, or talk shows,

or some signature move.

Last chance, Gramps. Tell me right now.

I'm sorry I wasn't a better mother.

I know that I failed you.

I won't anymore.

Please, just come back to us.

♪ ♪

I thought these three were
smarter than your father.

♪ ♪

So did I.

Rosetti.

Follow me.

You son of a bitch.

♪ ♪

If you're not gonna join us,
then disappear.

Tens of thousands
of Ally Allston's followers

- have gathered here in Wash...
- I can't believe

this is happening.

Ally found a portal to another Earth.

If she merges with herself...

No m*llitary will be able to stop her.

She'll be more powerful
than any country on the planet.

There won't be any countries.

This would be the end
of humanity as we know it.

So how do we get to Ally
before that happens?

We can't.

But I can.

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Kal.

What's left of me.

You were right, Lois.

I was never there when it mattered.

♪ ♪

You are now.

Kal, Ally's got a small army at the DOD,

most of which is hopped up
on Kryptonite,

and you're... you're not
as strong as you once were.

I will be.

I'll get into the DOD, take the pendant,

and I'll make it to the other Earth,

where I can destroy it for good.

I have to save our son

if it's the last thing I do.

I have to save him.

♪ ♪

I'm so sorry.

For everything.

♪ ♪

You're gonna tell me where
I can find those pendants.

Jonathan.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- [GROANS]
- Jonathan, no!

[GRUNTS]

Tell me where Anderson is now!

What?

Where are they? Where are the pendants?

- [GROANING]
- Jonathan, stop it!

I don't know!

Please!

You're gonna tell me where Anderson is,

or you're gonna end up just like my dad.

Ereh thgir m'I.

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- [GASPS]

♪ ♪

[WHOOSHING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

No!

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

[GASPING]

Em pleh.

Em pleh, esaelp.

- What is he saying?
- I don't know.

But it looks like he needs help.

- [SHARP RINGING]
- [GROANS]

♪ ♪

- Mitchell.
- Mitchell.

[SIGHS]

They did it.

He has both pendants.

[TENSE MUSIC]

What are you two playing at?

Excuse me?

Where is my other half?

Neither of us would
ever willingly give up

our pendants.

♪ ♪

Where is she?

Nalp Pu-kcab a sah ehs.

It's a trick.

I want those pendants.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

You didn't tell me he had powers.

I didn't know.

Ally.

Ally, what do I do?

Take him out!

♪ ♪

Now, Jonathan, before they merge!

♪ ♪

Take him out!

Now!

♪ ♪

[SCREAMS]

On!

♪ ♪

I've never k*lled anyone before.

He won't be able to hide for long.

Deadlines are looming! Come on, people!

Hey, Olsen, any luck
with that Luthor piece?

Janet?

Boss, I have never seen
anything like this.

This guy's face is plastered
across every website

I've tried.

Who is he?

No idea.

[DOOR JINGLES]

But he just walked in the door.

[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

EnaL sioL htiw kaeps ot deen I.

Oh, great. He's insane.

[LOW MUSIC]

I think he's just speaking
a different language.

♪ ♪

sioL?

[TENSE MUSIC]

Or backwards.

Lois?

Um, no one's seen her

since the DOD was taken over.

Miss Beppo, Ally's demanding
that anyone with information...

[QUIET WRITING ON PAPER]

On his whereabouts
come forward immediately.

If she finds out that he was here

and we didn't say anything,
we're all dead.

Please.

You need to leave.

[SOFTLY] Now.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GROANS, COUGHS]

♪ ♪

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

♪ ♪

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

We need to hurry.

[SOFT MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Thank God Chrissy was quick on her feet.

Luckily, I got to him
before Ally's forces did.

♪ ♪

He's got both pendants.

Which means Ally isn't gonna stop

until she finds him.

Did he say anything about Dad?

No, it's been kind of hard
to understand him.

Sir, do you know what
happened to my dad?

He went to your world.

Dad.

♪ ♪

Dad.

My dad.

♪ ♪

Dad.

Yrros Os m'I. Dog ho.

- [STAMMERING]
- What does that mean?

Yrros Os m'I.

- What does that mean?
- [SOBS]

What does that mean?

- What does that mean?
- Jordan.

- What does that mean?
- Jordan.

[CRIES]

I'm afraid your father's dead.

Come on. Come here.

Come here.

♪ ♪

[CRIES]

[CRIES]

♪ ♪

[THUNDEROUS CRASH]

♪ ♪

Can you hear that?

Someone's here.

- I'll go check it out.
- Lois.

Dad, we can't survive here much longer.

We need help.

I'll be right back.

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

Tell me where Anderson is,
or you're gonna end up

just like my dad.

Ereh thgir m'I.

Give me those pendants.

Now!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SHATTERING CRASH]

♪ ♪

Anderson.

You were right.

We can't let Ally get the pendants.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

When I first got here,
I, um... I saw the other you.

I escaped right after he was k*lled.

By one of her followers?

By him.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

They brought me here
to keep the pendant safe,

help me heal, but, uh...

I don't think that's
in the cards anymore.

How many inhalers do you have left?

This is my last one.

Maybe it's enough to get you
back through the portal alive.

♪ ♪

After everything that I've done,

you'd still try and save me?

I've told you before.

To me, everyone's worth saving.

I thought coming here
would prove that you

and the other Supermen
were the bad guys,

but instead, it was Ally and me.

How could I be so wrong?

♪ ♪

That's your family
on Earth, too, isn't it?

♪ ♪

And the reason that
you kept things from me

was to protect them.

Yes.

♪ ♪

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Let's get you and those
pendants outta here.

Hmm?

[WHOOSHING]

They're coming.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Tal-Rho, Lana, and both the Allys.

[CHAIN SNAPS]

Don't let her get these.

[SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

This is all we've got.

Stay here.

♪ ♪

Just as you said.

♪ ♪

My brother as he once was.

♪ ♪

Those belong to us,

and you're going to give them back.

This isn't the way to save people.

And who makes that decision
for us, Superman?

You?

The two of us, together...

we're gonna give everyone the power

to become their own heroes.

By merging the people of this world

- with those in mine?
- Two halves to make a whole.

People are not halves.

You can't just eliminate a population.

We're not eliminating.

We're combining the best of both.

The pendants. Now.

- We've gotta help.
- [COCKS g*n]

No, Dad. They will k*ll you

if you go out there.

She gets those pendants,

we're all dead anyway.

Grandpa, watch out!

You should've stayed hidden.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I said now.

[WHOOSHING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Get back to our Earth.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[WHOOSHING INTENSIFIES]

[GASPS]

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

♪ ♪

[PENDANT HUMMING]

- Now at last...
- We become whole.

[HUMMING INTENSIFIES]

♪ ♪

[UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

There's something I have to tell you.

If this is about hosting
the ESPYs again,

- my answer hasn't changed.
- Tal.

Our jokes weren't funny,

Jordan Michael's a jerk, and clearly,

no one paid any attention to my rider.

Tal.

Lois is pregnant.

What?

Are you serious? I'm gonna be an uncle?

You're gonna be an uncle.

I'm gonna be an uncle!

Rest of the night, the drinks are on me.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

You know, we, uh... we were
planning a press release, but...

Oh, you know how I am, Kal,

always wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Proud of you, brother.

Here's to the future of the El family.

♪ ♪

Also,

Lois and I just bought a place nearby.

- Here? In Smallville?
- Yeah.

It's got a barn and tons of land.

It's a total change of pace
from Metropolis.

Why on square Earth would you do that?

[SIGHS] Something about this place

just drew me here.

Well, you've always been
the impulsive one, Kal.

I got a lot of thirsty customers

taking you up on your offer.

I'm gonna need a credit card.

I promise you, I'm good for it.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

It's not like I don't know who you are,

World's Most Eligible Bachelor.

Don't believe everything
you read in "Persons" magazine.

I'm... I'm simply a guy

who hasn't found the right woman yet.

Maybe that's because you've
never been to Smallville.

I'll be at the bar,
waiting for that credit card.

♪ ♪

Wow.

I mean...

She's too good for me.

That's true.

[SOFT MUSIC]

Ugh, what was I thinking?

Maybe this is a mistake.

Tal, you're just nervous.

You and Lana are the
happiest couple I know.

♪ ♪

[CHUCKLES]

I want you to know,

this changes nothing between us.

You'll always be my brother.

And whatever you need,
all you have to do is ask.

Same here.

Now let's get you married.

[WEEN'S "SHE'S YOUR BABY" PLAYING]

♪ Those below us cannot be renounced ♪

♪ 'Cause they're talking ♪

- [CROWD WHISPERING]
- She's gorgeous.

♪ And for once, I wish
they'd shut up their mouths ♪

Yeah, she's too good for you.

♪ Lock their doors
and stay in the house ♪

[EXHALES]

[FLY BUZZING]

Look at yourself.

This has gone on too long, brother.

It's only temporary.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Lois and Jordan aren't coming back.

- Once I stop Ally Allston...
- Kal...

Once I stop her and get Jonathan back,

Lois will come back too.

Kal, have you ever considered

that maybe Ally is right?

What?

Almost every person

is lost at some level.

Take you, for example.

Don't you feel that
something is missing?

No, no. Have you been listening to her?

[SIGHS] Jonathan arranged a meeting.

How could you do that?

And Lana and I agreed

there was some truth
in what she had to say.

Tal, listen to me. Listen to me.

Don't get involved
with that woman, please.

She's dangerous.

Kal, I think she could help you.

No! You promised me.

You promised, if I needed

something, anything, you
would do whatever I asked.

- Do you remember that?
- Yes, of course, but...

I'm asking you to walk away.

She's destroyed my family.

Please.

Give me your word, give me your word

that you will walk away.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS] It's complicated.

Lana really believes
in what she's doing.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

You walk away from Ally,

or you walk away from me.

Kal, please. I'm your brother.

You don't have to do this.

♪ ♪

[GRUNTS] Get out.

- Kal...
- [DISTORTED] I said get out!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[DISTORTED DRAMATIC MUSIC]

What is she becoming?

♪ ♪

[ENERGY CRACKLING]

♪ ♪

Jon-El.

Go. Merge with your other self.

Find my followers.

Prepare for my arrival.

♪ ♪

Please. Please. Don't let this happen.

My Jonathan... he's a good kid.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

There's nothing to be done.

[GRUNTING]

I failed my brother once before.

Seeing you here reminds
me of what I lost.

- Tal...
- [BREATH WHOOSHES]

Save your son.

♪ ♪

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hey, look. Jon's home.

That's not our Jonathan.

Where's Clark?

He was too late.

Is he okay?

Probably not.

Why are you here?

[PENDANT WHIRRING]

[EERIE MUSIC BUILDING]

♪ ♪

For him.

Greg, move your head.