04x10 - Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher

[bunniefuu]

(logo) Three, two, one, oh!

- Jill, Jill, look at this stuff.
- Excuse me. l'm working here.

lt looks like you need a break.
Look at this. l was going through...

l found some stuff
l made in my old shop class.

Huh?

First year assignment, a tool box.

That's good for carrying around
lopsided tools.

That's real funny, honey.

l got this stuff out because l talked
to my old shop teacher today.

- Mr...?
- Leonard.

Leonard. The man who first recognized
your unnatural need for more power.

That was Fire Chief O'Malley.

When was the last time
you saw Mr. Leonard?

Uh... Gotta be years ago. He's in town
seeing his niece. He saw me on Tool Time

l'd like to meet him.
Why don't you invite him over?

Did it.
He's coming to dinner tomorrow night.

You'll make his favorite -
corned beef and cabbage.

What will l be wearing, Your Toolness?

l'm hoping for something
in a wood or a metal.

- l'll go with that aluminum Miracle bra.
- (Tim laughs)

You'll love him. Watching him
spot-weld would bring tears to your eyes.

Yeah. Spot-welding does bring up
so many emotions.

This is the guy
who encouraged me to make this.

- What is that?
- lt's a toilet paper dispenser.

l would like to see the toilet
that that goes with.

This isn't an indoor dispenser. This is
for TPing the great outdoors. Watch.

No.

Clear!

Ooh!

- Well, how do l look?
- Oh, you're so cute.

You're trying to impress your teacher.

l'm making up for the last impression
l made on him, a gash in his forehead.

Mom, promise me you'll never invite
one of my teachers to dinner.

Dad, do you think if you misbehave,
Mr. Leonard's gonna give you a detention?

Yes, Brad, that's what he's gonna do.
(fake crying)

lt wouldn't hurt you
to show me a little respect.

Well, we always try and show you
as little respect as possible.

Sir.

(doorbell rings)

You'd better show my shop teacher
some respect. This guy is a tough guy.

His handshake could crush a gorilla.

l wonder what he's been up to
since he retired.

l hope he's not working at the zoo.

- Mr. Leonard!
- Hey, Tim Taylor.

Oh, no handshakes. l'm still getting over
that crush you gave me.

- Don't worry about it. How are you?
- How you doing? You look great.

Boys, boys, come on, line up.

- These are my boys. The youngest, Mark.
- Hey, Mark.

- Randy. And the older one, Brad.
- Randy. Brad, nice to see you.

- My lovely wife, Jill.
- Ah.

Works a good lathe,
but not much of a welder.

But l'm great with a fire extinguisher.

And you're not bad with a put-down.
Nice to meet you.

lt is so nice to meet you.
Tim has been talking about you for so long.

You know, l think he even mentioned you
on our honeymoon.

- Did you, now?
- Mm.

What l said was, if Mr. Leonard had built
the bed it wouldn't have collapsed.

Mr. Leonard. Dad says
you're the greatest shop teacher of all time.

- You can stop kissing up. l passed you.
- All right. Anything to drink?

- Anything cold.
- Would you sit down, Mr. Leonard?

- Only if you call me Art.
- There you go, Art.

You can still call me Mr. Leonard.

lt is so great to see a mentor
and a student reunited again.

l used to have an English teacher
that affected me the way you did Tim.

Um, Mrs. Holloway.

She introduced me to Shakespeare.
Gosh, l loved Macbeth

l used to walk around going,
''Out, damned spot! Out, l say!''

Well, enough of your laundry stories.

- How'd you like Tool Time?
- l loved it, Timmy.

l was so shocked when l turned on the tube
and there was your ugly kisser.

- Surprised l had my own TV show?
- No, surprised you're still alive.

- l'm telling you, he gave us a lot of scares.
- You too?

- You retired. How's that going?
- lt stinks. l hate it.

The only good thing
is the golf clubs they gave me.

- l never pictured you as a golfer.
- l'm not.

l melted them down and made a lamp.

- l melt down gifts all the time.
- And not always on purpose.

Randy.

Sir?

l swear to you, it's the truth.
l mean, your father is a genuine original.

l got another one for you.
Even l can't explain this one.

He is gluing a table together one time.

Somehow a piece of the table
gets stuck to his head.

There's a mistake
l didn't let happen again.

- Dad, didn't you do that...?
- Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?

Boys, it's time for you to go finish your
homework. Would you clear your plates?

We wanna hear
more stories about Timmy.

Randy, l got a million of 'em. After you
finish your homework l'll tell you more.

Brad, don't forget to practice
your saxophone.

- Mom, why do l have to practice so much?
- Because she said so.

And because practice makes perfect.

You ever heard of Charlie Parker?

The guy who played Davy Crockett.

That was Fess Parker.

Charlie Parker was
one of the greatest saxophonists ever.

My teacher played a record of his.
He's really great.

That's right. And before he started
practicing hours a day,

he used to sound like a foghorn.
Ships used to dock at his front door.

- Now, get up there and toot your horn.
- All right. Gotcha, Mr. Leonard.

- Mr. Leonard, it's great to see you.
- Timmy, it's wonderful.

lt brings back such memories. (laughs)

Do you remember your first semester,
the thing with the acetylene torch?

Yeah. l b*rned a little hole
in the principal's office wall.

You remember his reaction?
He was fuming.

Literally.

Oh, yeah. He wanted me to take you
out of shop class permanently.

- The principal wanted me out?
- And the school board and the PTA.

l think l even got a call from the mayor.

And l told them all,
''Thank you. Go stick it in your ear.''

Why did you stick up for Tim?

Because l had never seen
a kid with so much enthusiasm before.

When l got you to calm down
and stop trying to set the principal on fire,

you showed some real talent.

And that's why l told them to shove it.

Because l knew you were gonna be great,
and l was right.

That's a very moving story.

l mean, the way that you saw
Tim's potential early on.

That makes me think that l should look up
my old English teacher, Mrs. Holloway.

(Brad playing saxophone badly)

l think l'll just go close his door.

- Why'd you get out of teaching?
- Timmy, l had no choice.

l put years in the system.
They just put me out to pasture.

- They let you go?
- They said l'd passed my prime.

That's crazy.

l can weld circles
around the kid that replaced me.

They can't replace a legend. This...

Wait a minute.
l got a great idea.

On Monday's show,
l can do a salute to shop class,

you could be my guest star.

- Me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Remember first year
we did that tool box?

You could make one of those
quick as a wink.

l don't know about quick as a wink
with this arthritis.

You can do it. l'm sure you can do it.
lt will be great.

You can show a whole generation of men
how to do stuff with their hands. (grunts)

What was that?

You never heard the grunt.
l figured that out in college.

You got into college?

- Does everybody know what time it is?
- Tool Time!

That's right. Now, here he is, the star of the
show, Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. Whoo!

Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, everybody.
Welcome to Tool Time

We have a very special guest today -
Tim's old shop teacher.

The man that taught me
everything l know about tools.

And despite that,
we're still happy to have him here.

A big Tool Time welcome
for the original ''Tool Man'' himself,

my old shop teacher Mr. Art Leonard.
Come on out here!

- Good to have you here.
- lt's great to be here.

lt's nice to meet someone who knows the
trials and tribulations of working with Tim.

Al. Let's...

You know, we could start
our own Twelve Step program.

Adult survivors of Tim Taylor.

l got a program. How about Al-Be-Gone?
Adults who fire Al.

Boys, do we really have to
review shop rules?

Sorry, Mr. Leonard.

Our first project is a tool box. lt's a perfect
project for young tool men out there,

and for us veterans, it's a... it's a warm look
back at a kinder, gentler tool America.

- That was very moving, Tim.
- You guys ever stop yapping?

Sorry, Mr Leonard.

Just a minute,
we have a little surprise for you.

l've invited some of your old shop students
down to do a cut with the master.

Heidi, bring out Mr. Leonard's
old shop students, please.

For Pete's sake. Frankie, my best student.
You sure churned out a lot of ashtrays.

Thank you.
They came in handy.

Hey, remember me, Mr. Leonard?
Larry Lindover.

Larry! Great attitude, bad hands.

- What are you up to these days?
- l'm a neurosurgeon.

And you are, uh...?

- Benny Barony.
- The reason l almost quit teaching.

You remember. Hey.
What happened to the hand-crusher?

l got a little arthritis in there.
Hey, don't you owe me a birdhouse?

l had a lot of extra homework.
Uh, l'll have it for you Tuesday.

Mr. Leonard,
l actually won a prize with my birdhouse.

Good.

Here's $ .
Make me a birdhouse by Tuesday?

All right. Let's get right to our project.

We've marked our designated areas off
on our -gauge steel.

- Now it's time to make our cuts. Ready?
- OK.

l'm gonna hand over my tin snips
to a higher authority.

Thank you, Tim. Gentlemen,
the important thing to remember

is to cut the notches to their proper depth.

Marv, would you bring the camera in here?
Let's watch the master make his first cut.

Now, it's thin metal,
so the cut'll be very easy.

Well, actually it's -gauge metal,
so it won't be that easy.

- You want me to help you with that?
- No, thank you.

Dammit!

l'll make the cut and you tell everyone
how we'll bend our notches.

l'll tell you what. Since l'm running
this class l'll do the cutting, OK?

You have students
that could do the cutting, sir.

Who? Frankie ''The Lung''
or Dr. Butterfingers?

No, thank you.

- Let's make that first cut...
- Hey! l was doing the cutting.

Don't you ever take a tool away from me!

W-w-we'll be right back with a warm look
at a kinder, gentler tool America

after these words from Binford Tools.

- Mr. Leonard...
- Don't you tell me what l can and can't do!

l don't need some punk kid with a stupid
TV show telling me that l can't cut metal!

- l just didn't want you to be embarrassed.
- Little late for that now, isn't it?

l wonder if l'm off the hook
for the birdhouse.

Um, it was great to talk to you.
Thank you for calling me back. Goodbye.

Hi.

Hi.

- What's the matter?
- l called my favorite teacher.

All she wanted to talk about
was her favorite student, Robin.

Problems with your favorite teacher?
See Mr. Leonard on my show?

What was the deal with him?

l broke the cardinal rule with men.
l offered help to a man that didn't want any.

- He seemed to need it.
- That didn't matter.

By offering him help,
it made him feel like less of a man.

Wait. You're trying to tell me that if you saw
a guy trapped underneath a boulder

and he didn't ask for your help
you wouldn't move the boulder?

That is insane.

lf l moved the boulder
the guy would feel like half a man.

lf you didn't move the boulder
the guy would be half a man.

But that half would thank me.

And men say that women
are illogical and irrational?

They are,
but what does that have to do with this?

- Forget it.
- l tried to talk to him after Tool Time

He wouldn't even talk to me. Just packed
everything up and went back to Toledo.

- (phone rings)
- Maybe that's him.

Mr. Leonard?

No. Hi. Yes, she is.

Yes, l'm sure she does.
Hold on.

lt's Mrs. Hiawatha,
or whatever her name is.

Mrs. Holloway?
l'm kinda glad she called me back.

She wants Robin's phone number.

- Hey, Wilson. Let me ask you a question.
- Sure.

lf a boulder fell on you,
would you ask me for help?

Well, that depends.
Are you the reason the boulder fell on me?

- That doesn't matter.
- Well, it does to me. l'm under the boulder.

Let's say it's my fault. Wouldn't you
be too proud to ask for my help?

- Why would l be too proud?
- 'Cause you're... 'cause you're a man.

Well, l guess that would depend on what
part of me was crushed by the boulder.

- Tim, are you speaking metaphorically?
- No, l'm just making a comparison.

Hm.

Hm.

Let's say you couldn't use your hands real
well anymore and l tried to help you out.

- You'd feel like you had no dignity left.
- ''Boulderdash.''

Well, it would if you were a tool man
like my old shop teacher and me.

- We lose our hands, we lose everything.
- There's more to a man than his hands.

You have to look at his gestalt.

That's a good way to get a black eye
in a locker room.

No, no, no, Tim.

''Gestalt'' is a psychological term

meaning that the whole is more
than the sum of the parts.

Take you for an example. You're a lot more
than just Tim The Tool Man.

Yeah, but you know for guys
what we do is who we are.

Well, sometimes society pressures men
to define themselves in terms of their work.

l don't feel any pressure.
l like being Tim The Tool Man.

Yeah. What happens when you're
no longer able to be Tim The Tool Man?

(whimpers) Ho-ho-ho?

That'd be horrible. l'd feel useless.
l wouldn't be myself.

Tim, you are also a great husband. You're
a great father. You're a great neighbor.

l think you might find your true happiness
lies in being Tim the man.

That's a good point.
l like that one.

Would you drive to Toledo
and tell my old shop teacher that?

l think it would have more meaning coming
from you, even though l enjoy Toledo.

They say it used to be
the glass capital of the world.

Well, if l'm going
l'd better get my glass in gear.

- (knock on door)
- Yeah?

What are you doing here?

l came to ask a question.
What did l do wrong?

Was it the measurements
or the spot-welds?

Now, let me get this straight.

You drove an hour and a half to ask me

why a tool box you made years ago
is a piece of crap?

Three hours. lt would've been an hour and
a half had you a porch light that worked.

What do you want?

l wanna talk about
what happened on Tool Time

- Boy, l must've looked like a real jerk.
- You didn't look like a jerk.

Yeah, but you were right, Timmy. l can't
do it anymore. l've been trying all day.

My brain tells me l can do it,
but my hands just won't work.

l have the opposite problem. My hands
can do it. lt's my brain that won't work.

When l was in high school
and played football

l used to catch anything
that came near me.

Now l can't even cut
a piece of stupid metal.

You're more than a set of hands.

Timmy, l was a shop teacher.
What do you think l taught with?

How about look at the big picture?

You know, if a boulder falls on you, society
likes to pour ge-salt on your wounds.

What are you talking about?

- You weren't good because of your hands.
- Oh, don't start that garbage again.

Look, Mr... Look, Art.

You were a good teacher 'cause
you stood up for guys like me.

You made all of us think
that we could do something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, when l called all those guys
to be on Tool Time. they lined up.

A lot of guys wanted to do this
because you made an impression on them.

- Really?
- Yeah. And you're the same guy.

Look at Brad. The Charlie Parker story?
He won't leave the saxophone alone now.

- That old chestnut worked again?
- Just like it worked on me.

But l believe it was A.J. Foyt for me, right?

lt's been a lot of people over the years.
Tommy Lasorda, Mahatma Gandhi...

Two guys with very different eating habits.

Will you tell me
how l ever passed you?

- lt's not that bad.
- You tried to eyeball that, didn't you?

Maybe.

- These spot-welds show promise.
- That is a spot-welding disaster.

- You're starting to rile me up.
- Maybe if l rile you up, you'll do it properly.

l got a piece of sheet metal over here that's
already etched. Let's see if you can do one.

Right.

This time we do it. Let's make a solenoid-
operated top so it pops up when you...

Come on, for Pete's sake. You don't have
to improve everything, for Pete's sake.

- All right.
- Just concentrate on what you're doing.

- First cut.
- That's it. Now, keep your hands steady.

Cut it to the proper depth.
There you go.

That's it. OK. Now, steady.

(Brad playing
''When the Saints Go Marching In'' badly)

Brad!

Um, why don't you take a break
and watch some TV?

(continues playing)

Would you like to have a snack?

You can have junk food!

How about taking
the car out for a spin?

(stops playing)

(Brad) Can l?

No.

Will you just take a break, please?

Sure, Mom.

- Hi.
- Hi. How'd it go with Mr. Leonard?

- Patched everything up.
- Good.

Plus l got a chance...

to make this.

Wow!

This is great.

But l thought you said Mr. Leonard
couldn't cut metal anymore. Who did this?

l did, Ms. Sarcastic Pants.

With the greatest shop teacher in the world
helping me.

lt looks great.
lt looks like you made no mistakes.

Well, there was a slight accident.

Oh, no.
Did you blow up that lovely old man?

Just most of his garage
and half the block.

Just kidding.

- l had enough time to make this, though.
- What is that?

lt's an indoor toilet paper dispenser.

- Clap.
- Uhh.

Yes!

- Clap.
- Uhh.

Yes!

And now you just...'