04x05 - The $2,000,000 Defense

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Good evening.
My name is Alfred Hitchcock.

And the program is
Alfred Hitchcock Presents:

In the interest of
enlightening our audience,

we are inaugurating a new policy
for this portion of the program.

From time to time, we plan to interview
important figures in various fields.

Tonight, we have with us

one of the world's
outstanding mathematicians.

If you will, sir.

Good evening, sir.

I shall begin the
interrogation at once.

My first question
concerns a matter

which has no doubt been bothering
members of our audience for many years.

How much is two and two?

The opinions expressed
by our guest are his own

and in no way reflect my own
views or those of my sponsor.

And now, sir, what is your
favorite television story?

I think he's telling us

that his favorite television
play is "The $ , , Defense,"

in which case we are in
for a very long time of it.

Long enough, in fact, to show
you "The $ , , Defense. "

But first, my sponsor wishes
to put his two cents in.

Yesterday, Mr. Ashley, occupying
this same witness chair,

you testified to having engaged
the services of Malcolm Purdy,

a private detective.
Now, am I correct?

You have to speak up,
Mr. Ashley,

for the excellent reason that the
Court's stenographer can't record

the nodding of your head.

I made that statement.
I did hire Malcolm Purdy.

Now, isn't it true that you
engaged Mr. Purdy to trace

and make reports on the
activities of your wife

because you suspected
her of infidelity?

Yes.

And you concede as well

that the man named in this
liaisons as your wife's companion

was Mr. Thomas Ward.

The same Thomas Ward who
was your investment counselor

and who was in charge of your
various financial holding.

I do. I do. You know that I
do. We've been over all this.

Well, I'm so sorry to
be tiresome, Mr. Ashley.

Referring once more to your
sworn testimony of recent date,

do you still admit
going to Mr. Ward's home

and confronting him with a.
-caliber a*t*matic p*stol?

I do, but it was
only to frighten him.

It was never my intention
to k*ll him.

Oh, I see. It was
an accident, you say.

An accident, yes.

Instead of
being frightened,

he came at me.

The g*n fell from my grasp
and accidentally went off.

How accidentally,
Mr. Ashley?

The safety was on. I've
told you this time and again.

It was never my
intention to k*ll him.

Of course, the safety catch. You're
certain about that, aren't you?

I could not
be more certain.

All right, Mr. Ashley. That
will be all. Thank you very much.

Your witness,
Mr. Robeson.

Any questions, Mr. Robeson?

No questions.

The witness may step down.

Thank you.

The State would like to
call a witness in rebuttal.

Will Mr. John Keller
please take the stand?

It's not going well, Mark,
is it?

Do you promise to
tell the truth,

the whole truth
and nothing but...

Take it easy, Lloyd.

I do.

He's their g*n expert.

He'll talk holes in any target
they put in front of him.

Mr. Keller, may I ask
you how long you've served

the Police Department
of the City of New York

as a specialist
in ballistics?

For years
and seven months.

Thank you very much.

Now, Mr. Keller, I offer
you State's Exhibit "B"

and I ask you if you are able to tell this
court precisely what type of w*apon this is.

I can, sir.

It's a. -caliber
Colt a*t*matic,

pretty generally referred
to as a pocket model.

I see. Thank you.

Now, this g*n, Mr. Keller, that
you are holding in your hand,

have you ever seen
this g*n before?

I have.

Would you be kind
enough to tell the Court

under what circumstances
you saw this g*n?

I examined this g*n in the performance
of my duties as ballistic expert.

The purpose of the examination
was to determine whether or not

this g*n fired the b*llet that was
recovered from the body of Thomas Ward.

And what were your
findings, Mr. Keller?

I found that the w*apon referred
to had fired the fatal b*llet.

I see.
Thank you very much.

Mr. Keller, will you be kind enough to
describe to the Court and to the jury

the type of
test or procedure

that you followed before
arriving at this conclusion?

Your Honor, please.

Yes, Counselor?

Your Honor, I think we can dispense
with this lesson in ballistics.

Defense concedes that Mr. Ashley's g*n
fired the sh*t that k*lled Mr. Ward.

Is Prosecution
agreeable to this?

Yes, Your Honor.

The State has no desire to
prolong this trial unnecessarily.

Mr. Keller, I'm assuming
that you are familiar with

the general mechanics
and operation of this g*n.

Am I correct
in my assumption?

You are, sir.

Well, then, Mr. Keller,

in your opinion as
a ballistics expert,

could this type of g*n
be discharged accidentally

as Mr. Ashley
has just testified,

while the safety catch
was engaged?

It could not.

Are you certain
about that, sir?

I am absolutely certain.

Thank you, Mr. Keller.

Mr. Keller,
may I ask you then,

if this g*n could be discharged
while the safety catch was engaged,

if it were dropped
accidentally or otherwise,

from a height of,
well, say, several feet?

It could not.

If it were slammed against
a hard surface, Mr. Keller?

No, sir.

Then are you willing to state
that in your entire experience,

years and seven months of
handling and testing firearms,

you never heard of such
an accident taking place?

I am willing to
make such a statement.

Thank you, Mr. Keller,
that will be all.

The defense may
cross-examine the witness.

If you will
excuse me, Counselor,

I find that
it is now : ,

and I would like to call
a recess at this point.

The jury will remember
my instructions,

neither to discuss this case
among yourselves,

nor permit it to be
discussed in your presence.

Court is adjourned until
: tomorrow morning.

Mark? I'm terribly
worried for him.

I know.

It's one of the unfortunate by-products
of a married woman falling in love.

There are almost
always casualties, Eve.

I knew he was jealous, but I never
thought it would come to this.

The heart's gone out of him.
Lloyd was always so strong.

Don't blame
yourself entirely.

I do blame myself.

There's Tom dead
because of what I did,

and now there's every
chance that Lloyd may...

Oh, Mark, please don't
let it happen to him.

I'll do my best. I can
promise you that much.

But let's not flood the
courtroom with tears.

I have a proposition for you,
something I know you'll like.

Yes?

I guess it would be safe to say,
Mark, that now with Tom Ward dead,

you know more about my financial
affairs than anyone else.

Not only how much I inherited,
but how much I've earned.

I guess, at the moment,
I'm worth at least $ million.

Using one of your expressions, Mark,
that isn't exactly cornflakes, is it?

No. No, I wouldn't say so.

I'm willing to
split it with you.

Half for you
and half for me.

On what condition?

By whatever means necessary you wring
an acquittal from that jury tomorrow.

You can do it. You've got the
imagination to bring it off.

I've seen your work before.

That isn't very flattering,
Lloyd. What isn't?

Well, your assumption
that I'd work harder

for an old friend
just because, well...

Just because there's that
kind of money involved.

We're not saints, Mark.

Nor are we living
in a society of saints.

I sometimes wonder if that apple
that got stuck in Adam's throat

wasn't a rolled-up $ bill.

You could be right.

That's half of
all I possess, Mark.

A two million dollar fee
for an acquittal.

Would you put that
in writing, Lloyd?

Yes, I will right now.

I'd say that this was an
exceedingly well-planned,

or we might say, a happy
sort of accident, Mr. Robeson.

No arteries severed and
a minimum of tissue damage.

You say the
safety catch was on?

Just as surely
as my pants were on.

Otherwise I never would have dared
to slam it on the top of that desk.

You know, I was beginning to
believe that ballistics expert.

There you are.

I suppose you know as
well as I do, Mr. Robeson,

that when a doctor is called
to treat a g*nsh*t wound,

he's obliged to
notify the police.

Naturally, doctor.
Frightful publicity.

I can see
the headlines now.

But I don't suppose there's any way
we can keep it out of the papers.

Doctor, do you believe me when I
tell you the safety catch was on?

I'm not a jury,
Mr. Robeson.

Now, Mr. Keller, if I
remember at all correctly,

you testified yesterday that
you fired a sh*t from this g*n.

I did.

And your purpose was
to prove that this

same g*n fired the sh*t
that k*lled Mr. Ward?

That is correct.
Thank you, Mr. Keller.

Am I right in assuming that you released
the safety catch before you fired the sh*t?

Naturally. Otherwise I
would still be standing

in my laboratory
pulling the trigger.

Mr. Keller, the burden of responsibility
would rest on us all more easily

if we could lighten it
with humor.

But at who's expense?

Mr. Lloyd Ashley, the same man you're
attempting to send to the electric chair

with your glib,
smug testimony?

I object, Your Honor.

I ask the counsel's
last remark be stricken

and the jury instructed
to disregard it.

The objection is sustained
and the jury so instructed.

Humorously or gravely, sir,

in any mood that does not
shy from objective truth,

would you say that the safety
catch on a g*n of this type

could not be accidentally
joggled loose?

To the best of my
knowledge, I would say so.

To the best of
your knowledge?

Well, that's
a comfort to me.

Mr. Keller, did you
ever make any tests

that might legitimately confirm
your strong opinions in this matter?

I'm not exactly sure
what you mean.

Specifically, Mr. Keller,
did you ever load this g*n,

State's Exhibit "B" which
I'm holding in my hand,

and then try dropping it on
a hard, unyielding surface?

Did you, sir?

Well, no.

Knowing what the basis
of our defense would be,

you didn't take the trouble
to make such a simple test?

Now, please answer the
question, Mr. Keller.

No, I did not make such
a test as you've described.

Why? Why did you not?

Wouldn't it have seemed
the obvious thing?

Or were you afraid you might
confirm the defendant's story?

No. That wasn't it at all.

Then why?

Tell me, Mr. Keller,
or tell the Court.

Tell someone in the
name of common sense,

why you didn't bother to make
such a simple, obvious test?

I don't know. I suppose
it just never occurred to me.

How reassuring, Mr. Keller.

How very nice.

A man is on trial for m*rder
in the first degree.

The one life granted him
by his creator is in the hands

of fallible men
like you and me.

And yet it never occurred
to you that a simple test,

such as I have outlined, might
be the key to simple truth?

Let the record show the witness
did not answer the question.

Yesterday, Mr. Keller, under direct
examination by the District Attorney,

you'd testified that a g*n of
this type could not be discharged

by slamming it
on a hard surface.

Did you not?

With the safety catch on?

Of course, Mr. Keller.

Yes. I did make
such a statement.

And this morning,
roughly hours later,

have you had any reason
to alter your opinion?

No.

I see.

There now, Mr. Keller.

As an expert, sir,

would you examine the safety
device on State's Exhibit "B"

and tell the Court if it's in the
proper position to prevent f*ring?

It is.

Would you rise,
Mr. Keller?

Please.

Stand right where you are
in front of the witness chair.

Now, Mr. Keller, I'm going to
ask you to prove to the Court

and the jurors
here assembled,

that the g*n in question,
with its safety catch applied,

cannot be discharged
accidentally.

Just drop it or
if you prefer, sir,

cast it forcibly
to the floor.

Your Honor, I protest this cheap and
highly irregular bit of vaudeville

which is inherently
dangerous to every...

Did you say dangerous,
Mr. Herrick?

Well, I meant...

Well, I must ask that such
an implication be disregarded.

Irregular was the word
that I intended to stress.

If that is the sole basis of your
objection, Mr. Herrick, you are overruled.

Proceed, Counselor.

Thank you, sir.

If you please, Mr. Keller,
demonstrate to the Court and the jury

that State's Exhibit "B" could
not possibly have been fired

in the manner claimed
by the defendant.

Just raise it above
your head, Mr. Keller,

and blithely let it
drop to the floor.

It's not a rocket to
the moon, Mr. Keller.

It won't make that much
of a noise. We're waiting.

Whenever it's convenient, Mr.
Keller, you can just let go.

Whenever it's
convenient, Mr. Keller.

We are beginning to
age a little, all of us.

That will be all, Mr.
Keller. Many thanks to you.

Oh, I had been looking
forward to this all day.

Thank you so much
for playing host.

I'd probably
have spilled it.

Well, Lloyd,
here's to the victory

and all the good things
friends can share.

You tired?

Yeah, very tired,
and very grateful, too.

I knew if anyone was gonna get me
out of this mess, Mark, it was you.

When did you
first feel safe?

Oh, about the time you
finished questioning Keller.

It was a great show,
beautifully handled.

I guess it's kind of
difficult to put a price

tag on this kind of
value received, Mark,

but I want you to know that I intend to
carry out my end of that bargain we made.

There's no hurry, Lloyd.
After all, it is in writing.

I know. But, anyway,
I'd like to attend to it now.

That's pretty silly of me to think
I'd have a checkbook in my pocket.

After all, they don't supply
those in the city jail, do they?

You got a blank one?

Well, at these prices, I'd be
happy to crochet one for you.

As a matter of fact, there must
be one somewhere there in the desk.

Try that center drawer.

Center drawer.

I can't say, Mark, that I
regret this bargain in any way.

Incidentally, you may
be entitled to more,

but we won't know that until the accountant
has a chance to check over the books.

Well, one hand or no hands.

This is a special occasion.
Calls for another drink.

Could I sweeten yours?

No, no. No, thanks. This
will do me very well.

Well, Mark,
using your words,

let's drink to those things
that friends can share.

My money, your whiskey.

My wife.

What is this?

It's a g*n.

Probably the one you used for
your experiment last night.

It was just resting here in
the top drawer all the time.

Lloyd, you'd better be
careful with that thing.

Oh, I'm being careful.
Extremely careful.

I've made sure the
safety catch is off.

It's a bitter turn of
events, isn't it, Mark?

That now you have the one thing
in the world you love most dearly,

and you won't be
able to spend it.

What on earth are
you talking about?

I never was
very good at riddles.

You recall that private
detective you urged me to hire

two months ago,
Malcolm Purdy,

the same little fellow who reported
Eve's quiet liaisons with Tom Ward to me?

Yes.

Yes, I recall him.

What about it?

Well, Mark, you're a
man who enjoys a joke.

This is very amusing.

You see, in all this trouble, I
never did take Mr. Purdy off the case.

I just forgot to.

And Mr. Purdy being
a conscientious man,

he kept on watching Eve
all the time I was in jail.

Two days ago, he turned
in his final report.

Lloyd, if you want
the check back...

I don't think I need to mention who
Eve has been seeing all this time.

And I don't think Eve was
clever enough all by herself

to think of using
poor Tom for a decoy

that has all the earmarks
of one of your ideas.

No, come now.

You're just as responsible
for Tom Ward's death as I am.

And if I k*lled the wrong man
because of your cleverness, Mark,

why shouldn't I k*ll
the right one now?

Lloyd, if you
just listen to me...

One million, nine hundred
and ninety-nine thousand,

nine hundred and thirty-eight.

One million, nine hundred and ninety-nine
thousand, nine hundred and thirty-nine.

So much for our story.

Unfortunately, Lloyd actually had spent
all of his money on his first m*rder trial.

And when his trial for the
sh**ting of Mark Robeson came along,

he didn't have another
$ million for a good lawyer.

I believe that's
or was it one...

Oh, well, I give up. I don't know
how he does it without fingers.

Now, for something you can always
count on, after which I'll be back.

Before our guest left,

I discovered him scribbling
on this blackboard.

Frankly,
I don't know how long

we can hold our scientific
superiority over the horse.

But I think we better
do something drastic,

that is unless you
relish the thought

of suddenly finding yourselves
on the wrong end of a plow,

or chasing each other
around race tracks

while the horses
do the betting.

And on this grim note, I
must leave you until next week

when I shall be back
with another play.

Until then, good night.