04x06 - Design for Loving

[bunniefuu]

Good evening
ladies and gentlemen.

A simple incident can change
one's life with dazzling swiftness.

In a single day, my pet caught
a glimpse of his pedigree

and my family tree.

Now, he won't sleep anywhere
but in the house.

He's rather large,
as you can see.

I shudder to think what he'll
be like when he grows up.

Tonight's narrative is called
"Design For Loving. "

And, as the title suggests, it
concerns marriage and its problems.

But before our play, here
is a message from a gentleman

who has designs on
your purse.

Hello.

Hello, Anne. May I
speak to Tom, please?

No, Charlie,
you absolutely cannot.

This is my sweet, darling,
lovely Tom's night to stay home

and be spoiled
by me.

And if he went out
with you,

he wouldn't get home
until after midnight.

All right, Anne,
all right.

Lydia, why don't
we talk, eh?

What about?

Oh, politics, maybe.

The world.

Us. You and me.

There is a subject.

Lydia, why don't we travel?
There's nothing keeping us here.

No children
to hold us down.

That's right, Charles,
there's no children.

We could see London, Paris,

Rio.

And what will we do
in Paris, Charles?

Lydia, let's make
a clean break.

Start over, have fun!

Charlie.

You held my hands.

You haven't done
that in years.

I remember once
you kissed my hand.

That was silly,
but it was so nice.

Kiss my hand, Charlie, and
I'll go to Paris with you,

London with you,
Rio with you!

Kiss my hand.

Really...
I'm not joking.

It's the last chance for Rio.
It's the last chance for Paris.

Why does everything always
have to be so difficult?

You make it difficult.

Hello.
Hello, Tom.

Thank goodness
it's you this time.

Oh, hello! Yes!

Tom, this is Charlie.

Oh, Fred,
how are you?

Tom, I've got to see you!

You sound as though it's
a matter of life and death.

It is. I'll be by
to pick you up.

Once around the block.

Be back in minutes, please.

minutes.
No, sooner!

I gave her a chance.

I gave her a chance.

I don't want to do
this to you, Lydia.

I don't.

I don't.

Charlie, we drank
too much.

It's : .

We've been out two hours
longer than we planned.

Two whole hours!

It's all right.

Your wife doesn't want you to
go out because she loves you,

mine because
she hates me.

Funny, isn't it?

Hey, Tom, come here.

What?

Tom, I wanna
show you something.

Look.

A ticket for Rio de
Janeiro on a Saturday plane.

Ticket?
One ticket?

For myself alone.

And leave Lydia here?

How?

How indeed!

I'm smart.

You're drunk!

Come on, Charlie,
let's go home.

Let's go home.

I am home. It's
part of my plan.

What?

I am sitting in
my house right now.

Charlie, you are
standing on the street,

talking with
old Tom Smith.

bucks says I'm sitting
with Lydia right now.

Charlie, you dead?

Is that it? This your
ghost talking with me?

bucks.

bucks?

All right,
bucks.

Easiest bucks
I ever made.

Oh, wait a minute,
Charlie.

Who's gonna
hold the money?

He will.

Don't go away, now.

Let me get this straight,
Charlie.

$ says that you are in there,
right now, with your wife.

Right?

Right.

Okay, here goes.

Don't move now.

Promise.

Won't budge
an inch?

Not a hair!

I got my eye on you,
Charlie.

Charlie!

It's you!

You're a twin. That's
it! You're a twin!

No, Tom.

Then who...
What...

"What"
is more correct.

I'm drunk!

Not that drunk, Tom.

What's that?
A whistle.

What's it for?

Watch the front door.

Hello, Mr. Brailing.

Hello, Brailing.

This is
insane!

He's not
your brother?

Not my brother.

I haven't drunk
too much?

You haven't.

Then what?

Tom, you're looking at
my passport to freedom.

My release,
my escape!

Now I can do what I want,
when I want, where I want.

Stay out as long as I like, come
home when I'm good and ready.

I've solved everything,
as I've told you!

You've told me nothing.

Put your head
close to him.

Closer.

To his chest!
His chest!

What do you hear?

Listen!
Listen!

It's a robot.

Marionette,
if you please.

Marionette?

"Marionettes Inc.

"We duplicate yourself
or your friends.

"New humanoid plastic flesh,

" models,

"guaranteed against
all weathers.

"Priced from $ , to
our $ , Deluxe Model. "

No.

Yes, I tell you.

How long has
this been going on?

Marionettes Inc. Has been
in existence three years.

I've had him for
about a month now.

I keep him in a tool
box in the cellar.

My wife never
goes down there,

and I've got the
only key to the box.

This is the first night I've
given him a real testing.

Other nights, I just let him sit with
my wife for a few moments at a time.

But tonight,
a three-hour test!

You're doing
splendidly, Brailing.

Thank you, Mr. Brailing.
Your wife is rather nice.

It's not hard work.

Amazing! I can't
tell you apart!

Nor can I.

Nor can my wife.

Do you see what a
delicious thing...

Or am I being unethical?

Well...

After all, Tom, what
is it my wife wants?

Me! Me to keep home,
pen up, frustrate!

All right,
I'll give her me.

I'll stay home every night
for the next years.

Only, it won't be me,
it'll be him.

I'll be off to Rio.

May I suggest, Mr. Brailing,
that I go back inside now?

Your wife may come out.

Oh, yes, you go on in, and
I'll call you when I want you.

Very well, sir.
Good night, sir.

Good night, Charlie.
I mean...

Good night, Charlie.

Well, I better get
home. You know Anne.

I know Anne.

Oh, she means well.
She loves me.

She loves you.

But, Charlie, after
years of marriage,

you do not expect your wife to sit on
your lap for two hours every evening,

or to call you up at work
times a day,

or to talk baby talk
when you come home.

I'm smothered, Charlie,
smothered!

I need a rest.

Marionettes are made
to eat, sleep, walk, run.

Everything natural
as natural can be.

" Marionettes Inc. "

" Elm Terrace. "

Oh, Charlie,
you are a friend!

I'll be there at
: tomorrow morning.

Good night.

They don't open till : .

I should tear up
that card right now.

Wake her up,
beg her forgiveness,

take her in my arms...

Let's see.
The savings account.

Last month,
the balance was $ , .

Now, if I was to borrow
five or six thousand...

Yeah, but how do I explain
the missing money to Anne?

I'll think of that later.

The important thing now

is to buy a marionette tomorrow!

Ah, let's see.

Deposits.
Deposits.

, , May st.
, , deposited July th,

making a total of...

Hey, there's $ , missing!

, , withdrawn
August th.

That's last week.

Anne! Anne, wake up!

Anne, do you hear me!
Anne, wake up!

Our money!
, ...

Checkmate.

You win. Brilliant!

Am I?

That's the first time
I've won a game in years.

How about another drink?

Oh, well, I shouldn't, I...

Just one, to
wash out the eyes.

All right.

Charlie.
Yes?

Tonight... It's hard
to explain, but...

I don't know.
You and me...

We're, well...

You are...

Excuse me a moment.

Yes, of course, dear.

Well done, Brailing.

Did you think so?

Perhaps a little
too well done.

Too nice, too kind. She
might notice the change.

I'll watch it. I
tend to forget myself.

I'm rather
fond of her.

Good, good.

I want a happy
employee.

I want you to
enjoy your work.

I wouldn't
call it work.

Yeah, well...

Well, I'll watch you
for the next few nights,

make sure you play
the part perfectly.

Then I'll leave for Rio on Saturday,
and you take over for a month.

Now, back in the
toolbox with you.

Now, in with you.

That's something I'd
like to discuss with you.

What?

I don't like it.

You don't like it?

It's too damp
in there. Cramped.

Oh.

Well, I'll look for something
more comfortable. A closet?

I don't like
closets.

Say, what's going on here?

They didn't tell me
at Marionettes Inc.

That I was getting such
a difficult specimen.

There's a lot they
don't know about us yet.

We marionettes are far more
sensitive than you think.

I've a good mind to send you back
to the factory for re-adjustment.

Do you?
Do you?

I do. Now, get
back in the box.

Now, lie down
and behave.

I've been thinking.

You can't think.

All right,
processing data then.

Rio de Janeiro is a better
climate than this, isn't it?

I mean, much less
rain and cold.

It's fine.

And you're
going there?

I am, if you ever shut up.

I'll never get to Rio,
do you know that?

That's really too bad.
Now, get in.

And your wife, as I
was saying, she's nice.

I'll give you
till I count five.

I like her very much.

She's a fine woman.

Fine.
And Rio...

Rio's fine.

Fine. Excuse me,
will you? I...

Use the phone?
What?

Call Marionettes Inc?

No, no,
nothing like that.

My wrist! You're
breaking it! Let go!

Rio. Better weather.

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to buy another ticket
for Rio and take your wife.

My wife put you
up to this?

No.

She knows about you,
doesn't she?

She's charming.

She planned this!
She did, she did!

You'll never know,
will you? Goodbye.

What do you mean,
goodbye?

Help!

Let me out of here!

Charlie, you're here!

I'm here, Tom.

My wife.

She's gone.

She left a marionette
in her place.

I thought she'd run
away with you, but...

You're here, Charlie.

You are here,
aren't you?

I'm here, Tom.

Then Anne is somewhere out in the
city tonight, with someone else.

I don't understand.
She said she loved me.

Tom, these are strange times

in which strange machines

with even stranger functions are
moving into our lives and taking over.

But I must go now,
my wife is waiting.

You kissed my hand!

You kissed my hand!

To us, Lydia.

To us, Charlie.

That story is a
somewhat disturbing one,

but only to people.

Our next story
is also disturbing,

and that is why I think I
shall take this opportunity

to walk my dog.

I shall be back.

I hope.

Fortunately for me,

he slipped his collar

and disappeared in
a herd of Percheron.

This concludes our show.

Next week, we shall
be back with another.

But before I go, there's something
I would like you to consider.

You keep me in
this box all week,

and then allow me to peer
out for only half an hour

before closing me up again.

I don't like it.

You see, I keep running.

There's no way to shut me off.

After all,
I have feelings, too.

Think it over.
Good night.