01x01 - The Wives Are in Connecticut

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[BILLIE] There was a time
in my life when I felt free.

And the world was full of possibilities.

Especially him.

Hey, boyfriend.

Hey.

- [BILLIE] Wait, what are you doing?
- Do you want me to stop?

[MOANS]

Or should I keep going?

Fu...

Yes.

[MOANING]

[BILLIE] Those were the days.

People say you don't know them
when you're having them, but I knew.

Oh, you're k*lling me.

You know that?

Mm-hm.

[BILLIE LAUGHS]

[BILLIE] Time of your life, baby?

Yes, please.

[BILLIE MOANING]

[YELPS]

[GRUNTS] Jesus.

You are k*lling me.

You know that?

Yeah.

And now, these are the days.

And everything is so different.

Mommy, you said you were feeding her.

I am feeding her.

- No, you're sleeping.
- Okay.

You know what? I fell
asleep for, like, a second.

- But what do you need?
- I want to show you something.

You wanna show me something?

[CHUCKLING] What do you wanna show me?

Come on, Mommy.

[BILLIE] All right, I'm coming.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Hudson?

What... ?

What have you got there, honey?

Look, mariposa.

Oh, my gosh.

Baby.

You can't keep him
like that, sweetheart.

You have to let him go.

It's a girl.

Okay. All right. But still.

And she's mine. I love her.

I know, sweetheart.
But she can't breathe in there.

And she's gonna die if
you don't let her out.

Come here. Come with me.

Let's go sit down.

Come here, angel.

All right.

Look at that baby.

Okay, now.

I have an idea.

Let's see which way she goes, okay?

Mmm.

South, probably. Yeah?

Thousands of miles for the winter.

[BOTH GASP]

Wow.

There it is!

Go wave to her.

Bye, butterfly!

[COOPER] Munchkins! Where are my babies?

Where's my babies? Get over here, bud.

Come on. Where are they? Come here, bud.

[GRUNTING]

- My word, you are so gigantic and cute.
- [HUDSON LAUGHING]

Oh, I can barely hold you up!

Missed you, buddy.

Oh, there she is.
There's my beautiful girl.

Yeah. Hey, sweetie.

Look at you.

- Hey.
- Hey!

I was gonna get dressed at
some point, I swear. I just...

Ah, it's no biggie.

All right. I'm gonna hurry
up and mow the lawn

before the game starts.

Oh, yeah.

- You good?
- Yup.

- All good.
- Huddie!

[BILLIE] My husband is as
gorgeous inside as out.

Wait for me.

I've never caught him
looking at another woman.

Hell, I've never even
caught him in a lie.

So, what's the problem, right?

[COOPER EXHALES]

Oh, God, Billie, things have
been so crazy at work.

You have no idea.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I mean, we're talking like,

it's, like, post-merger
madness, you know?

Everybody's just angling for a position

and they're all trying to
show off for the new boss.

And she's great, though,
you know? She's...

She wants to expand internationally.

She wants to do all those
things I've wanted to do,

just on a... I don't know, like
a much, much larger scale.

Wow.

[COOPER] Yeah.

You know, people are swarming,
but she sees me, I can feel it.

What?

Nothing.

I just miss you.

- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
- Excuse me.

Okay, and that's her.

My new boss.

Come on. Have you listened
to a word I said?

- Right.
- Francesca, hey!

How are you? [LAUGHS]

[BILLIE] The problem is Cooper
Connelly is married to me.

And before I met him,

I'd been contorted into at
least % of the positions

in the Kama Sutra.

As should we all.

- There were rich guys.
- [MOANING]

Poor guys.

Tattooed guys.

Just-flying-through guys.

And every other kind of bad boy
deliciousness you can imagine.

We'll just talk tomorrow and
set a time, then we'll discuss.

All right, great. Thanks.
We'll see you then. Bye.

She loves me.

- [COOPER WHISTLING]
- Who doesn't?

So why go marry someone
so straight-laced?

Honestly, because of them.

I didn't call you back for a reason!

I see a lot of women.

Open the g*dd*mn door, Billie!

[MOANING]

Holy...

You never appreciated
anything that I did.

Hello?

My nerves were so f*cking
sh*t by the time I met Cooper,

my heart was riding on fumes.

And the stability and sanity he offered

was a soothing balm to
my spent, scorched soul.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll never forget the first time
he brought me to this house.

It's actually an Algonquin
word, "Connecticut."

"Land of the long tidal river."

I always loved that.

There she is.

[BILLIE LAUGHS]

- What do you think? Yeah?
- Wow.

It's like he'd been
waiting for me. For us.

[SHOUTING] Yep! Ha!

Can't have you tracking snow
in the house, come on, now.

[BILLIE EXCLAIMS] Oh, my God!

He cooked me this incredible meal.

I mean, come on.

How could you not fall
in love with this guy?

- May I?
- Yes.

It's nice to finally meet you.

I've heard so much
about the both of you.

I'm a big fan of your
daughter's. Clearly.

- Us too.
- Most days, anyway.

Mom.

- She's joking.
- Or I'm not.

Well, you'll see.

[BILLIE] Cooper is the kind of guy

who actually enjoys
dinner with your parents.

[MAN OVER PA] This is North
Station. North Station.

Ma'am, ma'am.
Why don't you sit right here?

[BILLIE] He stands on the train,
no matter how many seats are empty.

Yeah?

- Have a great day.
- And somehow

manages to be the most handsome
and humble man in any room.

Gotta say,

never thought I'd leave Morgan Stanley

to come be one of the good guys.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

But Cooper sucked me in with
his "change the world" hoo-ha.

And the dental plan's
not that bad either.

[ALL LAUGHING]

- But we have had a very big year.
- We have.

High risk, high reward,
so huzzah to you.

- Merry f*cking Christmas, dude.
- Thanks, buddy. Appreciate you.

[APPLAUSE]

[BILLIE] He is my
all-time favorite person.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

And I want us to live a hundred years

and die at the exact same moment.

[APPLAUSE]

- [COOPER] Push!
- [BILLIE GRUNTING]

Oh, there he is!

- Hey, buddy!
- [BABY CRYING]

Hi!

Hi!

I know, I know. Okay, go see
Mommy. Go see Mommy.

Hey, bud!

Hey!

Oh, my God.

[BILLIE] And I want our souls

to find each other on the
other side as soon as possible,

so we can fall in love
and make more babies,

and do it all over again.

I just also want him
to f*ck my brains out.

Is that so much to ask?

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]

Hey.

Didn't you have the, um... ?
No, no, no! Stop him!

I'm sorry. Didn't you have the... ?
The girls night in tonight?

Yeah, but you know...

- Um...
- [SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING]

- I can be late.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]

- Okay.
- Oh. Okay.

Okay. Mm-hm.

[BILLIE] Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. [MOANING]

Oh, it's so good. That feels so good.

So good.

Are you... ? Are you okay?

Yes.

Yeah, no, don't stop.
Don't stop. Keep going.

- Okay.
- Keep going.

Okay.

[MOANING]

[COOPER GRUNTS]

sh*t.

I'm sorry, babe.

- I'm just so tired.
- Yeah.

Okay. Hold on.

- Hold on.
- Okay.

[MOANING] Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

That's good.

Oh, yeah.

- Cooper!
- What?

- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Just... Okay, just get the vibrator.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Is that okay?
- Yeah.

Okay.

[BILLIE] It's been months

since Cooper went down
on me, for example.

I expelled an entire
human being from my body

in half that time.

[VIBRATOR BUZZING]

[MOANING]

[VIBRATOR DYING, THEN STOPS]

Oh, my God.

[BABY CRYING]

Oh, my God.

No.

- Do you want me to, uh... ?
- It's fine.

Forget it.

[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

[BILLIE] It wasn't always like this.

[BILLIE MOANING]

- Hi.
- Hey.

I love you, Billie.

Cooper.

But then you have one
kid. And then another.

I used to simply accept Cooper's
waning passion as proof.

This is what happens when you grow up,

get married, get into a routine.

But now I'm starving.

Now I'm screaming at him
from inside my head,

trying to make him feel something.

Mommy. You didn't kiss me good night.

I did.

Well, you didn't check on me.

I did, honey. I did.

Come here.

Come here, baby. Come here. Come on.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

That's my big boy.

All right.

You're okay, baby.

You're okay.

You're so beautiful.

- What's wrong?
- [SOBBING] Nothing, baby. Nothing.

I'm okay.

- Please don't cry, Mommy.
- I'm okay, baby.

I'm okay.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you.

I love you, baby.

I want you to come and tuck
me in whenever you're done.

[SNORING]

[CELL PHONE UNLOCKS]

[LINE RINGING]

[SASHA] Hey, boo!

- Hey, you still up?
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah.

This stupid band hasn't
even gone on yet,

and I'm too obsessed to give up, go
home, get a decent night's sleep,

like any grown-ass woman

who had to get out of bed at
a.m. and go to work would.

Why are you still up?

I can't sleep.

Hey, has Cooper ever choked you?

- 'Cause if he hasn't, he needs to.
- Oh, my God.

- You saw Alex again.
- Mm-hm.

Didn't one of your exes used to do it?

I mean, not on purpose!

- Oh, honey. You need to be choked.
- Oh!

- Was it that good?
- Yes, it was.

Maybe we should get married.

He could choke me for the
next seven to ten years.

I love that erotic asphyxiation
is what it takes

to finally get Sasha
Snow to settle down.

Uh-uh. For seven to ten
years. Let's not go crazy.

So, girl, you want to tell
me what's really going on?

I, um...

I feel...

different.

- You are different.
- No, I mean, like,

I don't feel like myself.
I feel like, uh...

Like a watered-down, wife-mom
version of me. And...

I'm, uh...

I'm just not sure that this
is who I'm supposed to be.

Oh, God. You need to go back to work.

You clearly have too much
time on your hands.

I can't.

Cooper and I agreed that I would
take this time to be with the kids.

- Please. Where do I even start?
- I wanted this time, you know?

I thought I would love it.
And I do but...

It's not enough. It's okay.
You can say it.

I just... I don't know.

I've been thinking a lot, about...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

... him.

- Who?
- Oh, come on, Sash.

Are you kidding me?

Do not f*ck up your gorgeous family.

- I'm not.
- Cooper is such a good guy.

I know that.

Then appreciate it for a second,
how lucky you are to have found him.

How many millions of women
would k*ll for what you have.

Look, I know. Right?

But I just... I can't stop thinking
about how things used to be.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

- With Brad?
- With me.

I was different.

- I don't know what happened.
- Girl!

You said yes, moved to
the burbs, had kids.

This is what you wanted,
B. It was your choice.

I know.

And I know Cooper's exhausted, you know?

I'm exhausted too, but I just...

I need to...

To feel it again.

What?

Some small piece of that magical...

interconnected, love bubble rush.

You know? It was just...
It was such a high!

- How's it going?
- Hey.

Sash, are you... ?
Are you even listening to me?

Yes. Now you listen to me, all right?

Brad was one sexy m*therf*cker.

But that kind of love is a fickle bitch.

It hurts, betrays and is
ultimately unsustainable.

What you have with Cooper
will go the distance.

I know. I know it in my cells,
I know it in my f*cking soul.

Good.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

[BILLIE] Love is a drug.

That's what they say, right?

Dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline.

But I can get that feeling again.

Every time I close my eyes

and go back to one of
those nights, I feel it.

It's not some elusive high I'm chasing.

It's real. And it was a whole other me.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Ooh. Girl.

You glam-goddess-Barbie'd
your ass and I am digging it!

[BILLIE] Sasha Snow is smart as sh*t.

The only one of us who
actually finished her PhD

and is now a fancy psych
professor at our alma mater.

She's also the wildest,

most unapologetic
woman you'll ever meet.

And all that wildness
brought us downtown,

almost every Saturday night
to the Ludlow Street Cafe,

and one equally wild lead singer,
drummer, bassist after another.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

♪ Her tongue ring feels so cold ♪
♪ On a n*gga neck ♪

♪ No hickies ♪
♪ Or you'll never see my ass again ♪

♪ I gotta keep up appearances ♪

♪ She tell her friends ♪
♪ That she is my bitch ♪

♪ She think I don't know ♪
♪ I be hearin' sh*t ♪

♪ That's why we only happened one time ♪
♪ Like a premiere ♪

♪ I showed my ass at the mall again ♪

♪ I spent so much
that they called it in ♪

♪ Seventh grade,
Mrs. Penny called me in ♪

♪ I said, "f*ck you" ♪
♪ I knew I'd be on, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Throwin' money on her ♪
♪ Fifties, hundreds ♪

♪ Throw a Civic, Honda ♪
♪ If I like her, not love her ♪

♪ If I love her ♪
♪ Then I'm gonna throw a Benz ♪

♪ Throw a crib, down payment ♪
♪ f*ck the rent ♪

♪ I woke up from a long night ♪
♪ Of sex this mornin' ♪

♪ Brush my teeth, got
fresh this mornin' ♪

♪ Two hands on it... ♪

[PINBALL MACHINE BEEPING]

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Oh, hello.

- You think you're worth it?
- Yes, please.

[BILLIE] Oh, sorry.

Um...

I'm gonna go.

You... ?

You're okay?

- [KOSSI] You're fantastic.
- [GRUNTS]

Hey!

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, totally.

I'm like what, like a hundred
blocks away from home?

I'll see you later. Love you.

Love you.

Put your hand on my head again,
I'll bite the whole thing off.

Not a problem.

You are a f*cking goddess.

Hmm.

- Let me worship at your throne.
- Ooh.

[MOANING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[MAN] Hey.

Do you like bad boys?

Sure do. Let me know if you find one.

Hey, just piss off, dude.

[BRAD] Hey!

- Whoa!
- Leave her alone.

Here. Go get something to eat.

Go!

[MAN] This is bullshit, man.

You Billie?

Your friend said you might need a ride.

Are you with the band?

Yeah. Something like that.

Car's parked over there if you want.

If not... nighty night.

[BILLIE] Wait.

You have a car?

In the city? Okay... Okay,
no one drives in the city.

How do you find parking
or justify the cost?

To the environment, for starters?
I mean, not to mention...

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

You want a ride or what?

Okay, so you're not with the band.
You're not exactly a roadie.

Not exactly, no. I own a record
label that's trying to sign them.

- You own a record company?
- Mm-hm.

And this car, a place around the
corner, this jacket, these boots.

- But that's pretty much it. Mm-hm.
- Mm.

You think he's good? Kossi?

That is why you're sucking
up to him like this

by doing his betty a solid.

Who, Sasha?

She's a hard lady to say no to.

But still, you're driving
home her friend,

which means that that
dude's got leverage.

Yeah, for now, but he
shouldn't get used to it,

and neither should you 'cause
chauffeur is not my MO.

Understood.

She's a good friend.

To think of you in the middle of...

Yeah.

She's... She's the best.

We were roommates together
in grad school at Columbia.

For what?

- Psychology.
- Oh, sh*t.

I better shut up now.

You know, you might start lecturing
me about my mean mommy

and how much better adjusted I'd
be if only she had held me more.

Oh, f*ck.

What, is that what you think?

I think you like nice sh*t because
either you grew up with it

or you didn't.

And you own a record label,

so I'm gonna guess that you
had a leg up on that, mate.

But you found your way to the Big Apple.

You didn't stay behind to take
care of the family kiwi farm.

So that is a classic "f*ck
you" to either Mom or Dad,

but I'm guessing, um, with
that hair and those rings,

that you didn't have trouble
with your feminine side.

So Daddy dearest it is, then.

How am I doing?

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

Uh...

You wanna get a drink?

Sure. Yeah, did you have
some place in mind?

Yeah.

Mine.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Just the jacket and the boots, huh?

I like nice sh*t.

You said it yourself.

And you have a stage
in your living room.

I own a record label.

Yeah, sometimes I like
my guys to play here.

- This town is insane.
- Yeah.

In the best possible way.

So let me guess.

[SIGHS] Iowa?

- Please.
- Oh.

Ohio?

Uh, Georgia.

[BRAD] No accent?

[BILLIE] Not anymore.

You know, when I was little...

I used to dream about
living in New York City.

I never thought I actually would,
but now that I'm here...

I don't know.

I never want to leave.

There's a lot of shrinky dinks here.

There's a lot of screwed up people too,

so you've got your work cut out.

I don't know. I mean...

I like helping people, but...

I'm just not sure that I actually do.

I think you do.

In fact, I'm pretty sure...

you do it every g*dd*mn day.

[SOFTLY] I wanna show you something.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[WIND RUSTLING]

You said you like New York.

I thought you deserved
to see her like this.

I mean, this... This is...

This is not how I thought
my night was gonna end.

Well, the night's not over yet.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BILLIE] It's crazy, but I started
to believe this could be my life.

I prayed that it would never
be anything other than this.

[BILLIE MOANS]

Hey.

I got you.

Trust me.

I want to.

["SWELLING" PLAYING]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

♪ Cold sweat... ♪

[BILLIE] I shouldn't have.

But I did.

I trusted him...

completely.

♪ Are you trying to tell me ♪

♪ Something with your eyes? ♪

♪ All I wanna do now ♪

♪ Is lay down and die ♪

♪ If you're gonna do it ♪

♪ You better do it right ♪

♪ But my heart won't ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ Swelling ♪

♪ Hello ♪

♪ How do you feel? ♪

♪ What does that mean? ♪

♪ What does that mean? ♪

♪ High, high ♪

♪ Cold sweat ♪

♪ Dripping down my body ♪

[BILLIE] And eventually,
he trusted me too.

♪ All I wanna do now ♪

♪ Is lay down and die... ♪

[BILLIE] The intensity
of our conversations...

was intoxicating.

I got off on the fact that I was
the only person on planet Earth...

who got to see what was
underneath his rock-hard shell.

- ♪ All I wanna do now ♪
- [THUNDER CRASHING]

♪ Is lay down and die ♪

♪ If you're gonna do it... ♪

[BILLIE] I had a vision...

of who I could be.

Who we could be...

together.

And the truth is, I miss it.

And him.

I miss him.

[MOANING]

So...

damn...

much.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Cooper.

Who the f*ck are you?

[MOANING]

Is that what you want, huh?

Yes.

[MOANING]

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. Keep going. Keep
going, don't stop. Don't stop.

Yes!

Yes!

You're mine, Billie.

You're all mine.

And don't...

you forget it.

Oh!

[BILLIE] Yeah!

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

I have to go to work.

[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]

Olga, hi. Um...

I know this is last minute.

But any chance you're available
to come sit the kids today?

Yes. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

♪ These times are wild ♪

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]

♪ The legends are true ♪

Billie!

Hi!

Are you headed into the city too?

We're playing hooky, off to Radio City.

You should come.

I'm sorry, but I just... I can't.

- I'm having, um...
- Oh, God, honey!

What is it?

My mom... My mother is, um... very ill.

I'm so sorry.

- No, I'm... I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

- Just let us help you.
- Oh, no, no. You can't.

Have a... Have a great time.

♪ See, my body is a temple ♪

♪ Some people burn ♪
♪ Burn it down ♪

♪ Some people burn ♪
♪ Burn it down ♪

♪ Hey, hey, miss ♪

♪ Where'd you get the way? ♪

♪ Hey, hey, miss ♪

♪ Where'd you get the way? ♪

- [SASHA] Who is it?
- It's... It's me.

Okay, just let me in!

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

Billie.

- What the hell are you doing?
- I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay, I need a drink.

Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm...

I'm sweating, you know?

And my heart.

I can't breathe and I just,
I feel like... I don't know.

Like I just need, like... It's...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay. Uh...

Uh...

All right, the thing is...

Uh...

Billie, wait.

I want to go home.