01x06 - Somewhere Only We Know

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[BILLIE] There was a time

all the pieces seemed
to be coming together.

That better be the last of the shoes,

or we're gonna have to knock
down a wall to expand the closet.

Ooh. Could we?

I mean... [CHUCKLES]

who needs a kitchen, right?

Guy of my dreams, check.

PhD candidate, check.

Baby on the way and no idea what to do?

Yep, check that too.

Almost done.

Oh, um... [CLEARS THROAT]

Don't forget my monkey lamp.

We don't want to clean poor Sasha out.

Oh, we'll find a place for it.

I'll be right back.

What?

Okay.

Spill.

I didn't say anything.

Uh, your face didn't get that memo.

No, I think it's great.

You're pregnant and moving in with Brad,

and he's not flipping out, like, at all.

You're gonna live happily ever after.

This is exactly the direction
I saw this relationship headed.

Look, I know you think
that Brad's a flight risk.

Mm-mm. Not just a risk. He flew.

- A couple of times.
- This is different.

We both really want this.

You really want this.
Brad told you he didn't.

And he apologized.

With a baby leather jacket.

And now you're ignoring the words
that came out of his mouth.

- I believe him.
- You believe him every time, Billz.

He comes back, apologizes,
and then you cave,

falling into this pattern.

Yeah, it's called an adult relationship.

It's called codependency.

I hate to break it to you, boo,

but you can't turn a ho
into a house husband.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

He's damaged, B.

All that sh*t with his dad?

I know you keep hoping
he'll move past it, but...

I...

I appreciate your concern,
I do, but it's not needed.

What I need is for you
to be happy for me.

For us.

Look.

We're having a baby.

Look at that.

Girl, please.

You know you and I will end up
raising that baby by ourselves.

Oh!

[BRAD] Looks like we're all set.

I got it from here.

- Appreciate your help. Here you go.
- [MAN] All right.

[BRAD] Thank you, mate.

Home sweet home.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Okay with what?

- Hm?
- With me in your space.

It's a big step.

Well, first of all,

it's our space.

And second...

I want you...

in every single inch of it.

["TEACH ME" PLAYING]

♪ I wish I could play the violin ♪

♪ Oh, all the sorrow I'd prove ♪

♪ But most of all ♪

♪ If only I knew ♪

♪ How to play you ♪

[MOANING]

♪ Hand me the notes to win your heart ♪

♪ I'll play until my fingers bleed ♪

♪ Don't you see ♪

♪ I'm ready to be ♪

♪ Forever yours ♪

♪ Teach me all the ways ♪

♪ To get deep inside of your heart ♪

♪ I'll practice every day ♪

♪ Each morning... ♪

[HUDSON] Morning, Mommy.

Hudson.

You're up.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, okay. What do you... ?

What do you want for breakfast,
honey? Are you hungry?

Where's Daddy?

He...

went to work early today.

But he's coming back, right?

Of course he is, sweetheart.

Come here. Come cuddle.

Yes.

Okay.

Everything's gonna be okay, sweetheart.

Everything's gonna be okay.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

- Morning.
- [FRANCESCA] Hold my calls.

- Hey. [CLEARS THROAT]
- Hey.

- Partners here?
- Uh, they will be, in five.

You all right? You split
early this morning.

Yeah, well, I just needed
to, uh... clear my head.

Yeah, I know.

We had a lot of wine.

We did, didn't we?

- We had a lot of wine.
- So much.

[BILLIE] Cooper.

Billie.

What are you doing here?

You must be Francesca.

I am. It's very nice to meet you.

I heard so much about you, Billie.

Oh.

Um...

- Can I talk to you a minute?
- Now's not a good time.

We're headed in to
give our presentation.

I'm sorry, but, um...
I really need to talk to you.

I'll meet you inside.

So that's... Francesca?

She's stunning.

Never said she wasn't.

You never said anything.

Well, I guess you're not the only
one with secrets now, are you?

You didn't come home last night.

Were you with her?

Not that it's any of your business

after that dinner you
subjected me to, but yes.

I didn't sleep with her, Billie.

I could have.

I literally spent the entire
night on her couch,

thinking about what life
would be like without you.

Cooper, please, no.

I'd be... I'd be miserable without you.

- I mean, me and the kids, what... ?
- Just stop.

I can't trust a single word
that comes out of your mouth

because what I saw last night
proves that I was right.

It's not all in my head.

There is something going
on between you two.

- I swear, there's not.
- Okay. Answer me this, Billie.

How'd you get home last night?

His motorcycle?

Nothing happened.

Okay. Maybe you're not lying to me,

but you are definitely lying to yourself

and I'm just along for the ride.

Maybe you want out.

I don't, Cooper.

- I don't want that at all.
- Really?

I mean, maybe Brad
makes you feel a way...

that I can't make you feel.

Like Francesca makes me feel.

I cannot be thinking
about any of this now.

I cannot be in this headspace on
the most important day of my career.

Cooper, please? Please,
Cooper, please. Okay?

I love you.

We need to fix this.

This is our marriage.

I know that, and I am trying.

But there's something going on here
that has nothing to do with me.

This is about you and what
you want for your life,

and I am begging you, please...

figure it out.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR OPENS]

Billie?

Billie Mann!

Oh, Kenya.

I was hoping you'd still be here.

Oh. I'm so sorry for just dropping by,

but is Sumner available?

He's finishing his : lecture,
but I'm sure we can find some time.

I know he would love to see you.

You wanna wait?

- I think I should.
- Great.

- So catch me up.
- Yeah.

- You have two babies now, right?
- Yes.

- Let me see those pictures.
- Okay. All right.

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

- I do have lots of them.
- Heh.

[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay, well, that's Hudson and Ellary.

[KENYA] Oh, my goodness.

They just don't make
them like this anymore.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Sumner should be back any minute.

Okay, great. Yeah.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Okay, it is : ,

everyone is here, and
they showed up starving

'cause they k*lled this
platter of deviled eggs.

And, girl, I forgot to put mayo in them.

Plus, Sumner wants to make
some big toast to you.

So we waiting on Brad? Where is he?

I don't know.

He should be here.

You tried calling him?

He'll be here.

Plus, you know how long those
studio sessions can go, so...

Totally.

But did you try texting him?

It's not what you're thinking.

I'm not thinking anything.

Please.

There's not a teeny, tiny part
of you right now that's gloating,

- thinking that he's halfway to JFK?
- Is that what you're thinking?

He's not at JFK because
he's on his way here.

Okay.

All right. Help me serve.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- All right.
- All right.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- ["SOLO" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

- Congrats, Billie.
- Oh, thank you.

Amazing job on the article.

- Thank you so much, Kossi.
- Yeah, of course.

Where's my boy Brad at?

Uh, he's running late.

Okay, everyone... let's eat.

Actually, before we eat,

I'd just like to say a few words
about Miss Billie, Professor Mann.

[ALL LAUGH]

I always knew that Billie would
eventually hypnotize the world

with her brilliant, albeit archaic,
theories on monogamy.

Okay, all right, all right.
It is an article on the psychology

behind the ultimate female orgasm.

She is gifting women the
best sex of their lives.

- [BILLIE] Yes.
- As long as they have it with one person.

Sometimes, it takes more than one night

to make a woman feel
safe enough to let go.

- So it says, so it says.
- [ALL LAUGHING]

"Now I'm in the longest
relationship of my life,

and that safety and commitment

is allowing me to have
the best sex of my life."

[ALL LAUGHING]

Yeah.

Look, I mean,

it's not like I haven't
tried it your way,

but, trust me, this way is much better.

I'll be sure to ask Brad all about it.

If he ever gets here.

Uh, can we get to the
drinking part of this toast?

Indeed. Published is published.

I'm sure this is gonna be Psychology
Today's best-selling issue yet.

To the women of the world,

who will no doubt be
indebted to you forever.

- [SASHA] Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear!

- Yes.
- [KOSSI] Hey!

You made it.

Excuse me. [CLEARS THROAT]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Where have you been?
Are you flipping out?

If you're flipping out,
then just tell me now.

I'm not flipping out.

I'm late because I was cleaning out...

every bodega between here and...

Houston.

Get used to me coming home.

I got a real family for the first time.

And I'm not going anywhere.

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

Billie Mann in the flesh.

And crawling back to me a good two
to five years ahead of schedule?

Hmm?

Are you okay?

I need to talk to you.

Sure. Come on in.

So...

what's going on?

I don't know.

I have a beautiful life.

I have a beautiful husband.

Or I...

did, but I'm, um...

I'm messing it all up.

You know I have to ask, but do
you think you're messing it all up

because you've convinced yourself

that it's more beautiful than it is?

No. God, no.

I mean, % of my marriage is
the stuff that people dream about.

It's...

It's just that %...

Which is?

- Sex.
- Ah.

Which I know is a dumb reason
to screw up your marriage.

Sex is rarely just about sex.

What's it about for you?

Desire.

Feeling desired.

But then also...

freedom.

To be anyone...

to do anything.

I just haven't felt that way since...

Brad.

There's no judgment here.

A few months ago, I...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

I started writing in my journal.

I was fantasizing about...

all the... crazy chemistry
that we used to have...

and things...

just snowballed.

Billie...

You're beautiful.

That's the % reminding
you it's still there.

But I have Cooper.

I mean, you should see
my children and this man

who would give me anything.

Who's trying to give me
everything that I want,

but somehow it's just...

It's not the same.

It can't be.

The person who gives
you all that security

can't be the same person
who gives you the... thrill,

the risk, the excitement,
the lust. It...

doesn't work that way.

So there's no solution

that doesn't involve me
cheating on my husband?

- Isn't that why you came to see me?
- I came to see you

because you're the closest
thing I have to a shrink.

But I'm also the guy who doesn't believe

in that "till death do us part" crap...

so maybe you came here
looking for a pass.

And maybe that's okay.

But you never would, right?

You're the monogamist.

And it's / , so...

Cooper wins.

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless you think there's a world

in which Brad could
somehow give you both.

[CELL PHONE UNLOCKS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

It's me.

I'm in the city. Where are you?

Now, this is a unique opportunity
that could make a real difference

in millions of people's lives,

and we're hoping you'll
see it that way too.

Any questions?

I think we're all set.

Thank you, Cooper.

This technology is revolutionary.

I mean, this is the future
of modern medicine.

Right. We got it.

Can we have a minute
alone with Francesca?

Sure. Yeah, no problem.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

So?

Jury's still out.

What happened?
I thought you'd get a yes.

I don't know. I...

Uh, sidenote, heard last
night was boozy and epic.

Ladies and gentlemen...

it's a yes.

- [ALL CHEERING]
- Yeah! Thattaboy!

What the hell happened in there?

What, they liked the idea, but
they didn't like me or something?

I know I'm exhausted and distracted.

They loved you.

So much so, they asked me how
I felt about making you partner.

Holy sh*t.

I told them it's an interesting
idea and, frankly, overdue.

Oh, my God.

You deserve it, Cooper.

I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for you.

Best decision I ever made.

Hey, can we talk?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Thank you.

Um...

So about last night.

Uh... you are an amazing listener,

and I so appreciate that.

Obviously, I have some things
that I need to work out at home.

- Um...
- Or not.

Look, I would never
break up a happy home.

But since your home doesn't
seem so happy at the moment...

You're the full package, Cooper.

And I've had to learn the hard way

that when a great guy
like you gets divorced,

they get snatched up real fast.

And I don't wanna miss my sh*t.

Oh, Francesca, I'm...
flattered, really. Uh...

It's just that's... That's not
where Billie and I are at right now.

Still. Just in case.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Do you know how rare it
is for me to find someone

who feels like he can be a real partner?

I like who I am when I'm with you.

And I think you like who
you are when you're with me.

No, of course I do.

And I realize this is
wildly inappropriate,

not just because you're married.

I'm your boss,

and we know I had to work twice as hard

- to get to where I am.
- Sure.

So I wouldn't risk this for just anyone.

But I'd kick myself if I didn't take
the chance to let you know...

I'm an option.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CELL PHONE UNLOCKS]

[LINE RINGING]

[VOICEMAIL] Hey, it's Billie.

Leave a message, and I'll call you back.

- [VOICEMAIL BEEPS]
- Hey. Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

Look, don't make dinner tonight.

I'm gonna be bringing home Raoul's.

I got some big news.

I love you, Billie.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

["USE ME" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[GROANS]

New York is turning out
to be as intoxicating

- as I always hoped it would be.
- Mmm.

Just can't believe that all the women
here are as beautiful as you.

Oh.

Oh. Goodness.

Well, you clearly work out nonstop.

This bicep doesn't lie.

[MAN] How is it that
you're still single?

Oh, who says I am?

[MAN] What kind of guy lets somebody
like you out of their sight?

[BRAD] Can't stop thinking about
the things I wanna do to you.

You're driving me crazy, you know that?

I have a room at the Soho Grand.

Maybe you'd like to come
by and check out my view?

[BILLIE] That sounds amazing.

I'm just gonna powder my nose.

[MAN] Mmm.

♪ You can use ♪

- ♪ All of me ♪
- [DOOR OPENS]

♪ Take a hint... ♪

It's so f*cking hot watching
someone else want you,

knowing you're all mine.

♪ All you need... ♪

Then take me.

♪ Baby, breathe ♪

♪ And use me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

[BOTH MOANING]

Come here.

♪ You can use all of me ♪

♪ Take a hint ♪

♪ Baby, breathe ♪

♪ You can do all of me... ♪

Oh, slow down.

Slow down. I'm gonna come.

Come with me, Billie.

Come with me.

[BRAD] Billie.

Hey.

I'm glad you called.

Uh...

You forgot something.

Oh, oh. Stop.

I...

I just have to know what
you were talking about.

In the restaurant in the bathroom,
you said you've changed.

That something happened,
something that you were...

dying to tell me.

Yeah.

Okay.

So tell me.

Not here.

You wanna get a drink?

Hey! Hey!

I'm home!

Where's my babies?

There they are.

Oh, it's the daddy dinosaur!

Hey, buddy. Hey, baby girl.

- Hey, Olga.
- Hey.

Where's Billie?

She went into the city today.

Yeah, no, I know, but it's : now.

Didn't she call you?

No...

How was your big show-and-tell, Daddy?

Oh, it was so good.

I k*lled it, bud. Come here.

[GROANS]

I love you, Daddy.

Okay. Um...

Maybe we shouldn't.

Come on.

I know exactly where I'm taking you.

[EXCLAIMS] Oh, my God!

["OUT OF CONTROL" PLAYING]

♪ And it's starting to get dark ♪

♪ I know a chill is gonna come ♪

♪ And leave me shivering all alone... ♪

[BRAD LAUGHING]

- Oh...
- [BILLIE] Oh, my God!

♪ Guide my hand, cover my eyes ♪

♪ Give me purpose ♪
♪ Yeah, it's worth it ♪

♪ Wondering if you're gonna curse it ♪

♪ Color everything in white... ♪

Home sweet home, right?

♪ Rudimentary fantasizing ♪

♪ Rules revitalize a heist of ♪

♪ Sanity and peace inside me ♪

♪ Gravity won't hold me steady no more ♪

♪ I've been walking on a path ♪

♪ Following the crumbs you left... ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Mr. S. How you doing, man?

- Good. Good to see you.
- You too.

And, uh, look who I found.

As I live and breathe!

Billie Mann!

How have you been, Miguel?

- Can't complain.
- Oh.

Hey, you know, your old
table's open tonight.

Do you want it?

Come on, follow me.

♪ Guide my hand, cover my eyes ♪

♪ Give me purpose ♪
♪ Yeah, it's worth it ♪

♪ Wondering if you're gonna curse it ♪
♪ Color everything in white ♪

Tired?

Among other things.

Oh, this pregnancy is a trip.

I'm tied between sleepy
and horny all day long.

Why am I just hearing about this now?

Huh?

Seems like something
should be done about that.

Could we just put in for a soufflé?

[WAITER] It'll take minutes.

Perfect.

What are you doing?

Don't scream, or they'll
kick us out of here

and never let us come back.

And this is our favorite place.

- Brad...
- [SHUSHING]

[MOANING]

- [BRAD] You okay?
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Where's the waiter?

Should we put in for a soufflé?

Maybe just drinks.

[BRAD] For now.

Come on.

You knew this moment was coming.

This is not a moment.

We just need to talk.

Relax.

I don't bite.

Unless you want me to.

[HUDSON] Daddy, where's Mommy?

She'll be home soon, bud.

[LINE RINGING]

[VOICEMAIL] Hey, it's Billie.

Leave a message, and I'll call you back.

[BABY COOING]

Dad, it's your turn.

Give me a second, buddy.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay, just tell me.

What's the big thing?

What happened that you say
has made you so different,

that you were just... so
desperate to tell me about?

I finally went to see my dad.

For real this time.

And you were right, what
you'd been saying all along.

It changed everything for me.

And thank God I went when I
did because he was really sick.

What was supposed to be a weekend visit

turned into a four-month stay.

I'm just happy someone was
there to be with him in the end.

Oh, my God, Brad.

I wish you could've met him.

What was he like?

Stubborn.

Mm-hm. Charming.

Self-loathing, self-deprecating.

Ahem. Yeah, I know.

I mean, uh, apple/tree, right?

It helped to know that
he'd thought of me.

And he was proud of me.

He told me his side of what happened.

He and my mom were so
young when they had me.

He was doing all kinds of dr*gs.

Thought I'd be better off without him.

By the time he got clean,

he assumed I hated him.

Was too scared to find
out if he was right.

Then he started seeing
my name in the papers.

He didn't think I'd wanna hear from him.

All that success I wanted
to impress him with...

was the thing that was keeping him away.

He followed my career though.

Could tell me most of the
people I'd worked with,

even played me a song
I produced on his guitar.

All of that...

anger...

and the fear, it just...

Hmph.

It just disappeared.

I was dying to call you.

But I knew I had no right.

But still, I need you to
know that none of that...

would have happened without you.

I've waited so long
to hear you say this.

I don't want to be like my dad.

Dying alone without the woman I love.

Why couldn't you be this person
when we were together?

If I hadn't met you...

I wouldn't be this person at all.

Do you wanna get out of here?

Okay.

["OUT OF CONTROL" PLAYING]

♪ Guide my hand, cover my eyes ♪

♪ Give me purpose ♪
♪ Yeah, it's worth it ♪

♪ Wondering if you're gonna curse it ♪

♪ Color everything in white ♪

♪ Sanitize your manners ♪

♪ So that I don't stand
a chance romancing ♪

♪ Rudimentary fantasizing ♪

♪ Rules revitalize a heist of ♪

♪ Sanity and peace inside me ♪

♪ Gravity won't hold me steady ♪
♪ No more ♪

[CELL PHONE DINGS]

- Don't.
- [DINGING CONTINUES]

Billie. Look at me.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God!

I... [STAMMERS]

I need to go. I need to go.

Billie, don't.

Stay with me tonight.

Are you crazy?

I'm more sure than I've ever been.

Could you consider for one moment

that maybe you married the wrong guy?

No.

No. You do not get to talk about him.

Come on. You've asked
yourself the same question.

That doesn't mean you're the answer.

Cooper has never left
me sick to my stomach,

heartbroken, wondering why
he's always running away

and then begging me to come back.

Cooper has never hurt me.

[SCOFFS]

He deserves so much better than this.

Billie, I...

Save it for someone
who doesn't know you.

["FUBT" PLAYING]

[VOICEMAIL] You've reached Cooper
Connelly. Please leave a message.

Cooper. I am so sorry.

I went out to dinner with Dr. Sumner,

and the time just got away from me.

Are you with the kids?

Did you get them from Olga?

Where are you?

Okay, please call me.

[BILLIE] My whole life, I've been
fighting against the notion

that wanting to have it all...

was asking for too much.

♪ It's wrong ♪

♪ That you could do no wrong... ♪

Cooper?

[BILLIE] Turns out,
having it all is a myth.

♪ It's f*cked up, but it's true... ♪

You all right?

♪ That I love you like I do... ♪

- What's wrong?
- [GRUNTING]

♪ It's tough to get through... ♪

Oh, my God.

[BILLIE] Sometimes, %
is as close to having it all

as you're ever gonna get.

♪ I spend my mornings ♪
♪ Overthinkin' all my old mistakes ♪

♪ But I would never
judge your problems ♪

♪ In the same way ♪

♪ You b*at yourself up ♪
♪ And I let you take it out on me ♪

♪ Another day... ♪

Hi, Trina. Um...

I'm sorry it's so late,
but by any chance,

are Cooper and the kids with you?

[BRAD] Yeah, I'm holding
for Dr. Goldberg.

I need you to page him right now.

♪ All of my needs I say I don't need ♪

♪ And it's f*cked up, but it's true... ♪

[BRAD] Thanks, Doc.
We'll meet you at the ER.

♪ That I love you like I do ♪

♪ But I'm just gonna
keep on loving you ♪

♪ It's tough to get through... ♪

[BILLIE] And that % you
just couldn't live without?

That damn % that keeps
making you itch for more?

[SHOUTS]

[SOBBING]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

Oh, hey, sweet girl.

Hi.

I missed you.

Here we go.

Yeah.

♪ Either way I'm gonna lose... ♪

Ellary couldn't sleep, so
Daddy took us for a drive.

I'm up so late.

Yes, baby, yes.

Where were you?

I missed you.

I'm sorry, baby.

But I'm home.

Okay?

I'm sorry.

Mommy's home.

[SOBBING]

[BILLIE] Turns out...

that last %...

can cost you everything.

♪ It's f*cked up, but it's true ♪

♪ Gonna keep on loving you ♪

♪ Till my days are through ♪

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]