01x07 - The Way Out

[bunniefuu]

["The Promise" playing]

[horn honks]

♪ If you need a friend ♪

[man] Hey, move it, lady.
What's your problem?

[honking]

You can't park here.

Okay!

Got it!

I'm going.

[horn honks]

We're moving!

[horns continue honking]

- Can we go home now?
- [laughs] Absolutely not.

I gotta good feeling
about that deli over on 12th Street.

- Hey.
- [horns honking]

What? Don't pout.

What happened to my trusty sidekick, huh?

[Nadia laughs]

Let's get rid of this.
It's your crown and glory.

Look at that beautiful hair, huh?

This is it, Nadia.

[engine turns over]

This is the day we get free.

♪ I promise ♪

♪ I promise you I will ♪

[Alan] I k*lled myself.

I know it sounds impossible
when I think about it,

but in my bones, I know I did it.

That settles it. I'm dead.

Alan, I'm still here.

And we are not dead.

Well, regardless,
I definitely started this whole thing.

You said my first death was the only
unknown factor, and now we know.

I k*lled myself. I...

- I did this to us.
- [Nadia] Alan, Alan, Alan.

Your first death does not explain
how or why we're connected.

Lucky for you...

I figured that out.

Last loop, I went back to the deli
and I remembered something.

We met each other
that first night that we d*ed.

I saw you at the deli
that night with Ferran.

No, I don't remember that.

Well, of course you don't.
You were f*cked up beyond repair,

but I saw you.
I even thought about helping you,

but I decided to f*ck
with these Wall Street guys instead.

But if I hadn't...

I could have stopped you
from k*lling yourself.

If I hadn't gotten so drunk, I could've
stopped you from getting hit by that car.

And that is where things went sideways.

So the loops started
because we didn't help the other person.

I think so.

I knew we were being punished.

Easy there, Mr. Rogers.

This is not good or bad. It's just a bug.

It's like if a program
keeps crashing, you know?

The crashing is just a symptom
of a bug in the code.

If the deaths are us crashing,

then that moment is the bug
that we need to go and fix.

But if we were supposed
to help each other and we didn't...

how is that not a moral issue?

What do time and morality have in common?

Relativity.

They're both relative to your experience.

I need a visual aid.

All right, so our universe
has three spatial dimensions,

so it's hard for us to picture
a four-dimensional world.

But, you know, computers
do it all the time.

Now lucky for you, I have the capacity
to think like a computer.

What's this?

Oh. It's a rotten orange

In a two-dimensional world, it's a circle.

In a three-dimensional world,
it's a sphere.

But in a four-dimensional world...

It's still ripe.

Time is relative to your experience.

We've been experiencing time differently
in these loops.

But this, this tells us that somewhere

time, linear time,
as we used to understand it, still exists.

So the moment in the deli
when we first interacted...

Still exists.

So we should go back to the deli.

[Nadia] To that same moment.

And we rewrite our first interaction.

Just like you would fix a flaw in a code.

Then we run a unit test.

Is that a term
that people should know or...

Basically, we run a little program
and we see if the bug is triggered.

And how do we know if it's triggered?

We die.

Then... we go right back to the deli...

and we try it again.

You're pretty smart.

Thank you for finally noticing. Eh...

- Okay. It's almost 11.
- When do you think we first met?

Uh, Ruth arrived at my party at 11ish.

Uh, so that's when I left with Mike.
We were at the deli by 11:30.

Do we need to recreate
the whole experience? Like, Mike, Ferran?

Should I be drunk?

That sounds like a terrible idea.
I have to get the cake.

[dark music playing]

What? What is it?

Do you see that?

[Alan] See what?

[Alan] Whoa.

- Uh...
- I think I'm having a heart att*ck.

Okay. If we're dying right now,
I'll meet you back at the deli.

Just go straight to the...

- [knock on door]
- [water running]

["Gotta Get Up" playing]

[turns off faucet]

[knocking on door]

[knocking continues]

♪ Gotta get up, gotta get out ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the morning comes ♪

♪ What if I'm late? Got a big date ♪

♪ Gotta get home before the sun comes up ♪

♪ Up and away, got a big day
Sorry, can't stay... ♪

Sweet birthday baby.

Where is everyone?

Oh, it's only nine.
No one shows up to a party on time.

You of all people should know this.

Are you having fun?

People are disappearing now.

I didn't know it was also people. f*ck.

Okay, come with me. Where's Lizzie?

- What are you talking about?
- Let's go.

I have to meet someone at the deli.

I'm not leaving you here
at the mercy of the time gods.

- I'm not leaving. I live here.
- What's going on?

- Help me with this.
- Are you okay?

- Are you guys leaving?
- No one's leaving.

I love you both so much. I cannot be
the reason that you stop existing.

I would never forgive myself.

- I'll bite.
- No, thanks.

Fine, but we have to come right back.

We got to take the fire escape.

- I have a fire escape?
- Great.

All right, come on.

We're coming.

- Lizzy.
- Hey, what's up?

[Maxine] I have to change
my Airbnb listing then if this is...

- The app...
- I love fire escapes.

It increases the value of... by how much?

[Maxine] Yeah, so too many colonics
is definitely a thing, you know?

Hey, does this feel weird
to either of you?

You know, like you haven't been outside
in a while? Maybe like a really long time?

- Whoa, it's cold!
- Nope, I left as soon as I got here.

- sh*t, I should've brought another jacket.
- Where are we going, Nads?

Damn it, I never know what jacket
to bring. It's a real problem in my life.

Nads?

Hey, what is it? What's wrong?

What the f*ck?

[dark music playing]

[Maxine] Hey, what is it? What's wrong?

What...

[softly] I can't breathe.

What? You've had...

- Asthma? You had asthma this whole time?
- Maxine, call 911!

- [knock on door]
- [water running]

[turns off faucet]

["Gotta Get Up" playing]

[breathing heavily]

♪ Gotta get up, gotta get out ♪

♪ Gotta get home
Before the morning comes ♪

♪ What if I'm late? Got a big date ♪

♪ Gotta get home before the sun comes up ♪

♪ Up and away, got a big day
Sorry can't stay ♪

♪ I gotta run, run, yeah ♪

♪ Gotta get home, pick up the phone ♪

♪ Gotta let the people know... ♪

[Maxine] Hey, birthday baby.

Maxine, come on. Come on.

Lizzy?

- Let's go.
- What? Where?

- To the deli.
- But I don't need anything from the deli.

We need supplies. Apocalypse! Fire escape!

- [Lizzy] What's happening?
- [Maxine] What? I have a fire escape?

[Maxine] I'm just realizing that I
really need to do more gyrotonics.

[Lizzy] I feel like I'd be the best
in an apocalypse.

[Maxine] Oh, yeah, for sure, first choice.

There's so many things
that I could build with here.

There's wood. There's metal to smelt.

[Maxine] Oh, I love that word, smelt.

Hey, do you think that there's sage
at the deli or sandalwood?

Nads, are you okay?

Yeah, all right, coast is clear.
Come on, let's go.

There's no room.

There's room.

Why would you say that?
You didn't even try.

I have a trunk, don't I?

You see I have a trunk?

Does your wife need a coat?
They're going to Goodwill.

I'm not spending another f*ckin' winter
in this city, huh?

Are you okay?

Why the f*ck are you talking to my kid?

Put the melons in the trunk.

Go get the rest.

Thank you.

[exhales]

[cries]

What's f*cking wrong with people?

[sniffs]

I didn't do anything to him.
I don't know why he yelled at me.

I don't know, Mom.
He was wrong. You were right.

[sniffs]

Thank you, Nadia.

Don't ever let them tear us apart, okay?

Never?

Never.

Go tell his boss what he did.

What?

Go tell his boss
what he f*cking did to me.

[Lizzy] That's how I feel about it.

Well, I know it's crazy,
but I bought the chicken here.

- [Lizzy] Yeah.
- What is happening?

Oh. Hey, Lizzy, Maxine.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- [whispers] Who is that guy?
- I don't know.

Uh, I had a heart att*ck.

Then I just stopped breathing.
I'm thinking maybe asthma. You?

Yeah, me too. Something internal,
like liver failure or...

It's 9:30. We have two hours.

Why did you bring Lizzy and Maxine?

People are disappearing
at the party now, okay?

I... I'm scared to leave them.

sh*t, that's why Ferran's not here.

Wait, if people are disappearing,
what does it mean?

They're erased from existence?

Do you think that Bea is gone?

I don't f*cking know.

Well, you're the one with the big
fourth-dimensional brain, right?

[Lizzy and Maxine chat indistinctly]

[sighs]

[dark music playing]

How do you know Nadia?

What's going on? Is this like
the shittiest scavenger hunt of all time?

- [Alan] I wish.
- [Lizzy] Did you set this up?

[Alan] No.

- [Lizzy] Seriously, who are you?
- [Alan] A friend of Nadia's.

Something's wrong.

[Alan] Nadia.

Your nose is bleeding.

Are you okay?

I'm seeing things.

Should we go to a hospital?

[Alan] Nadia, we're dying again.

- Whoa, whoa. Whoa!
- [Lizzy] Oh, my God!

- Lizzy, call 911!
- We can't keep doing this.

You... You have to meet me
at my place next time, Nadia.

You... You have to...

- [thud]
- [Ruth] You have to eat.

You have to eat at some point.

You want chicken noodle
or cream of mushroom?

[Kn*fe slicing]

You can't live on watermelon, sweetheart.

I don't think so, Ruth.

So help me, if you say you're fat...

[door closes]

[Lenora groans]

[objects clatter]

Chicken noodle.

[glass breaks]

You practicing your piano?

[dark music playing]

♪ Gotta get home
Before the morning comes ♪

♪ What if I'm late? Got a a big date ♪

♪ Gotta get home before the sun comes up ♪

♪ Up and away, got a big day ♪

♪ Sorry, can't stay
I gotta run, run, yeah ♪

♪ Gotta get home, pick up the phone ♪

♪ I gotta let the people know
I'm gonna be late ♪

♪ There was a time... ♪

[Nadia] Max?

Sweet birthday baby.

There's nobody here. There's no party.

I am the party.

We're in an empty apartment...

with nothing in it

Maybe we should do one of those
sense-deprivation baths or whatever.

That would be
a good birthday thing, right?

I got to fix this.

Come with me.

♪ What if I'm late? Got a big date ♪

♪ Gotta get home before the sun comes up ♪

I can't.

♪ Sorry, can't stay
I gotta run, run, yeah ♪

♪ Gotta get home, pick up the phone ♪

♪ I gotta let the people know
I'm gonna be late ♪

I keep seeing myself, Alan.

What do you mean?

I don't know how...

or why...

but, uh, my past self...

the little girl that I used to be...

literally...

keeps showing up.

Is she here right now?

No.

But every time I see her, we die.

I think that maybe she's...

lost.

Trapped somewhere
between the past and present.

That little girl lives...

She lives at a time
that things with my mom were not...

not good.

Uh...

[sighs]

Ah...

I did something unforgivable that year.

Well, then we should make it right.

That could be the answer.

I don't know how to do that
because my mom is dead.

[Alan sighs] I-I do.

I do.

What? Okay, where are you going?

You can't leave.

What is with the helmet?

Nadia, I can't leave Beatrice here

and let her disappear
without making things right.

And you should do the same.

Whatever that means for you.

No.

Stay with me.

f*ck you!

That might be the last thing
you ever say to me.

Seriously.

This time, we might die and not come back.

Maybe I'll k*ll myself
just to f*ck you over.

Well, that's what I did,
and look where it got us.

You are
the most selfish person I have ever met.

Thank you for changing my life.

Lives are hard to change.

[door opens, closes]

You're alive.
I called you like 50 times last night.

Come in.

[Beatrice sighs]

Are you okay?

Yes, I am, under the circumstances.

Why are you wearing a helmet?

Bea, we need to talk.

Okay.

[Ruth] Nadia.

I did something terrible, Ruth.

You couldn't return the coat.

No, I abandoned mom.

[sighs]

Lock the door behind you.
There's somebody in the neighborhood.

I locked the door.

What's going on, baby?

I love you.

I mean that in the truest sense.
And I know... I know about Mike.

I know how it started and why.
I want you to be...

Just be whoever you are.

I didn't know how to tell you.

You did.

You did tell me. I just didn't listen.

You told me every time I asked you
what was wrong, and you said, "Nothing."

Every time I touched you,
you gently pulled away.

No matter how much we think
we're fooling people, our bodies...

they can't keep lying
the way that our minds can.

Yeah.

[Alan] Mine stopped lying a long time ago.

For years, I've just been...

I've just been hollow. [sniffs]

[sighs]

You know, I thought if I... if I...
[sniffs]

if I worked hard enough, if I... if I...

[inhales]

kept putting the time in,

and if I kept my head down,
you know, did everything right, I...

this aching, gnawing feeling
of being an absolute failure

would just... would just go away.

I know.

[Alan sniffs]

And now I'm stuck
with a body that is broken

and in a world that is...

[chuckles]

is literally falling apart.

And a mind that...

A mind that wants to k*ll me.

You got help, right?

[Alan] I did.

I... I let somebody help me.

Who?

I just want to tell you...

before this whole thing is over...

um...

I k*lled her.

I took the easy way out.

What easy way out?

I told the social worker
that I wanted to live with you

and not with her,

and then she was f*cking dead
within a year.

You've got it all wrong.

You said you wanted to live with your mom
just like she told you to,

but that just couldn't happen.

No one was gonna let that continue.

I don't think it matters.

[Ruth] What are you talking about?

Whatever I said,
I wanted to live with you.

[Ruth] Listen to me.

You were this...

tiny seed buried in darkness
fighting your way to the light.

You wanted to live.

It's the most beautiful thing
in the world.

Do you still have that in you?

Oh.

Nadia...

I look at you now...

chasing down death
at every corner and...

sweetheart...

where is that gorgeous piece of you

pushing to be a part of this world?

I'm gonna make you some tea.

[Ruth exhales]

- Lenora.
- [knocking on door]

Stop it. She can hear you.

She can hear all of it.

[Lenora] Good, then she can hear this too.

[glass shatters]

There is a kid out here!

[banging]

You are not her mother!

Well, her mother keeps f*cking up!

[Lenora coughing]

[Ruth] Lenora.

Lenora, come on.

[tea kettle whistling]

I don't know why I'm alive.

Listen. Your life force is strong.

I don't know how you survived
all those years, but it worked.

Emily!

- Who's Emily?
- The book.

Life force!

You know that's the woman
that wrote Anne of Green Gables.

You know what I heard?

She OD'd. I know.

I was going to say she's haunting a house
on Prince Edward Island.

I love you, Ruthie.

[smooches]

I love you...

and I'll see you in the next one, Ruthie.

[knocking on door]

Oh, sh*t.

I forgot he was coming.

Hey, it's okay, Bea.

I... I don't want you to meet him yet.

You know, I already faced
this guy so many times.

It's fine.

[Beatrice sighs]

There she is.

- Hey, I came as soon as I could.
- Hi.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

I had to bring him.
Sorry. I hope that's okay.

Of course it's okay.

- Hi, Edson!
- [Mike laughs]

- [Beatrice] How's my little guy?
- There you go.

Oh, he's so cute.

This is Alan.

He's all right.

- [Mike] Hi.
- Hi.

She was pretty worried about you
yesterday. I got a lot of calls.

She doesn't need
to worry about me anymore.

Oh, my God, Alan, your nose is bleeding.

What?

- Hold on, let me get you something.
- [Alan] No, it's fine. I got it.

- No, don't be silly.
- It's fine.

[Beatrice] Wait there.
I'll get it for you.

Oh, you're gonna leave?

[classical music playing]

Uh...

Where's your dad?

He's late.

Right, or maybe he disappeared.

- Do you know this woman?
- You know, she doesn't. Um...

She used to be my dad's girlfriend.

[scoffs]

Yeah.

All right, uh...

I want to give you something.
It's not really a present.

It's more like something that we share.

Okay.

Emily is the hero.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[coughing]

Are you sick?

[coughs]

[coughs]

[continues coughing]

She's still inside you.

[grunts]

[panting]

Mommy.

Are you ready to let her die?

[whispers] This is the day we get free.

Oh, my God!

Someone call 911! She's dying!

["Organs" by p*ssy Riot plays]

♪ Law enforcement bodies
Bodies, bodies, bodies ♪

♪ Bodies in cassocks
And bodies in uniforms ♪

♪ Bodies, bodies, bodies, bodies ♪

♪ Bodies, bodies, bodies in uniforms ♪

♪ Female orgasm faces obstacles ♪

♪ My strap-ons are being replaced
With uniforms and icons ♪

♪ Shitfaced parliament bans condoms ♪

♪ Agony, spasm
Big bang of the falling-down crown ♪

♪ My country is suffering from neurosis
Worse than Anna O's ♪

♪ My government is a total waste
Laws are useless ♪

♪ They promised us economy
And m*llitary defense ♪

♪ But we've got none of these ♪