05x06 - Last Salute to the Commodore

[bunniefuu]

She hasn't done anything.
Now let her alone!

No, no!
Don't lie for me!

Have a nice meditation.

The doctors are already pretty certain
that your father-in-law was dead

before he went in the water.

His mizzen jibed like that.

He went overboard.

I got done a lot sooner than I figured.
And nobody saw me. I'm positive.

What's your name?
Johnny.

Daddy.

Wait a minute, Columbo.

We're here today, all of us,
to have some fun.

Now, come on.

You mean,
so you can get drunk!

The brightly beams
our Father's mercy

From His lighthouse evermore

But to us
He leaves the keeping

Of the lights along the shore

Let the lower lights
be burning

Send a gleam across the wave

Some poor aging,
struggling seaman

You may rest

In peace next day

Dark the night of sin
has settled

Loud the angry billows roar

...are longing, hoping

For the lights,
along the shore

Oh, it's funny!

Oh, dear, I love you.

Thank you, Swanny.
Thank you.

Marvelous!

I see his yawl's back.

Oh, that's the most beautiful
boat he ever designed.

And your uncle

is the most beautiful
man that's ever lived.

I think he's taking a tour.

Where's he going,
Swanny?

Oh, who knows?
He's out in it night and day.

He's more at home on that boat
then he is at home.

Oh,
let's drink to that.

I'll drink to anything.

Where is your glass?

Stand-by for the Commodore.

Stand-by.
For the Commodore!

Hail to the Commodore!

Hail the Commodore!

All hail the...

Commodore!

The Commodore!
The Commodore!

All right, let's get this
damn thing over with.

How are you, Otis?

Let me get
another reading here.

Got it.

Great. Can you give a
smile, sir, please?

Fine. There we go.

That's it. That's it!

Sir, would you be so kind, as to give
us a sh*t possibly with Mr. Clay

and your lovely daughter?

He was such a boring man.
He was...

Excuse me, Mrs. Clay.

Your father would like to have a sh*t
with you inside for the magazine.

Oh. He was such
a boring lover.

Just think, whole years

you've been building boats.
Excuse me, this is just for the family.

Ma'am, this is just
a family sh*t.

Goodbye, Hannah.

Could we have a picture
with Mr. Clay?

Of course. Charlie.
Great.

Charlie, darling!
Thank you.

All right. Coming, love.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay. Let's have a group.

Daddy is the greatest naval
architect in the whole world!

Excuse me, sir.
Can you get a little closer?

Good. Here we are.

That's nice.

Oh, that's fine.

Can you kiss him again,
just one more time?

Of course I can!

Great. Oh, that's super.

That's it. That's it.

Can you look into the lens?

Thank you.

Let's get these people
out of here!

All right, Swanny.
Everybody out of here now.

Everybody out.
Gentlemen, right out.

All right. Everybody out!
Everybody out!

Excuse me,
have a drink on me.

He'll be with you in a minute.

How you doing?

See you in a few minutes.
Right in there. Okay? Enjoy yourself.

Look happy!

Gotta give the family
a little privacy now, okay?

You people, out there,
in the other room.

We'll have a nice time.

I can remember when
people bought my boats

simply because
they liked to sail them.

Not for any slogan,
or any status.

Just simply, because
they liked to sail.

Well, the business
has changed some since then.

Daddy, don't you realize

that Charlie has practically
doubled your business this year?

Doubled the overhead,
you mean. Doubled our losses.

Only for taxes.
That's the secret of expansion.

So who wants to get fat?
I don't!

Charles, I don't like
conglomerates.

Oh, Daddy, stop all this!

We're here today, all of us,
to have some fun.

Now, come on.

You mean,
so you can get drunk!

I can remember over the years,

when we gave a party, an annual
party, for all our own workers!

Not for all those sponges
out there.

Plus maybe a few
executive types.

Well, those are some
of our finest customers.

I'd appreciate you joining me
and talking with a few of them.

No.

I never did like parties.

I'm going back home,
do some work on my boat.

Daddy, you can't! They're important
people waiting for you in there.

Listen, Joanna, will you stop...
Daddy, Daddy! Please!

Otis.

Stop making a fool of yourself.
Please, Daddy, please!

Otis, I just need you for a short
appearance to show some unity.

Squash those rumors about
trouble within the company.

Well, it's my company
and I don't give a damn!

My daughter was a fool because
she married you, Charles,

and I was a fool for letting
you run things so long.

Come on, don't be
so shocked and innocent.

You all had your hands in the
till, one way or another.

There's only
one decent man here.

Here!

Take us home.

Is that the Wonder Girl
from your office?

That's why you work so late.

What's wrong with him?

He's going to sell us out.

What?

The company.

He's going to pull the rug
out from under all of us.

I'll talk to him.

I'll talk to him.

Talk to him.

Talk to him.

Eat,

drink,

and be merry.

Hi, Wayne.

Hi, Charles.

Can I talk to the boss?

He's on the phone.

Well, when we dropped him off,
he asked me to bring this back.

He's been having a little
trouble with the self-steering.

He's going out tonight.

Yeah.
He mentioned that to me.

How's he feeling?

Well, he's a little het up.
He'll calm down.

Well, he gets like that.

A few hours on the water,
he'll be like a new man.

Why don't you give
that to me? I'll...

Sure.

Just wait here a second,
I'll tell him you're here.

Wayne's here. He brought the
self-steering vane you wanted.

He says, thanks. He'll see you at
the yard tomorrow morning, : .

I'm leaving myself.

Give him some peace.

Be in at the usual time?

That depends on Joanna.

All right.
See you in the morning.

Good night.

How's everything, Mr. Clay?

Not bad, Wally.
What time you got?

: , sir.

As a matter of fact,
it's going on : .

Yeah, thanks a lot.
Take it easy. Good night!

Good night, Mr. Clay.

Commodore?

Commodore?

It's a nice evening.

You're running right, sir.
Please, you're running right.

Have a good sail, sir.

My name is Lieutenant Columbo.
Are you the lady of the house?

I'm Mrs. Clay.

Joanna Clay.

I'm Charles Clay.
What do you want?

My name is Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the Los Angeles Police Department.

Lieutenant Columbo.

What do you want, Lieutenant?

Your father is Otis Swanson,
is that right?

Yeah.

It seems they call him
the Commodore?

That's right.
They call him the Commodore.

His boat was found,
he was not on it.

The sailing boat.

Yawl.

He wasn't on it?

No, sir,
he was not on the boat.

Well, where is he?

We don't know.

I'm going down
to take a look at it now.

Would you like to come along, sir?
I think maybe you could help out.

Certainly.

It's a beautiful place.

Thank you.

Where's the beach?

It's out back.

Can I look?

Go ahead.
Be with you in a moment.

Come on, love.

Put that down, Sarge.

We'll get a little fresh air
on the way back.

Hello, John.

How you doing, George?

What are you doing out here?

Listen, Chief asked me
to run you down.

He's got this guy
just assigned to Homicide.

He wants the Lieutenant
to take him under his wing.

No kidding?

He's real hot on him.

Okay. Let me meet him.

Where was I, Charlie?

You didn't sleep in your bed
last night.

I stretched out in the den.

I didn't even know
you were home.

Did Daddy mention
that he was going sailing?

Drink this coffee. Straight.

Black.

Wayne Taylor said
he intended to go out.

Maybe somebody stole his boat.

Stole it?

The boat!

If you didn't put me to bed
last night, who did?

I don't even remember
leaving the yacht club.

She's not
making anything.

Her oldest daughter's
getting married.

She's going crazy about that.

Sir!

Sir, would you mind waiting
just a minute?

We better get the Lieutenant.

Lieutenant! Lieutenant!

I'm coming!

Oh, that's a big ocean.
A lot of water out there.

Japan is that way?

Lieutenant.

Excuse me, sir.

Be right with you.

Lieutenant.

John, how are you?

Just fine, Lieutenant.

I'd like you to meet
Theodore Albinsky.

How are you?

Very good, sir.

Sarge.

I want to give these up.
The wife is into plants, she even talks to them.

She says the smoke is bad for
them, so you keep a check on me.

Theodore.

Al what?

Albinsky.

How old is he?

He's .

He's been on the force
four years.

The Chief is crazy about him.

He wants you to take him
under your wing.

Theodore Alb...

Albinsky?
Albinsky.

And what do I call you?
Theodore?

No, sir, you call me Mac.

Mac.

Yeah. Mac.

Do you have any
Scotch or Irish in you?

Oh, no, sir.

All right, Mac.

Welcome aboard.

Mr. Clay?

Would you be kind enough
to ride along with us,

so we can fill in
some background on the way?

And John here,
he'll come along with us.

And he'll take you wherever
you want to go afterwards.

All right, Mac.
You come along.

Mac, you'll probably
need some practice driving,

in case we ever have to give chase.
You take the wheel.

Mr. Clay, why don't you
come around to this side here?

I'm sorry, Mr. Clay,
you haven't met everybody.

The fella in that other car there
is Sergeant John Sanderson.

Sergeant, why don't you
get in the back here?

Okay.

And this is
Sergeant George Kramer.

Mr. Clay, why don't you
sit in the front like this?

This fella likes
to be called Mac.

Hi.

Here.

Lieutenant, how do we
get this in reverse?

Up.

Up?

Toward the end knob.
Do you have enough room?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Excuse me
while I just get my watch.

All right,
just give me a second.

I think it's in
the other pocket.

There's the key right there,
Mac.

Mr. Clay, do you have the time?
Is it anywhere near : ?

Twenty-one.

Oh, wonderful.

I set that by the radio.

Okay.

Excuse me, sir,
if you don't mind, may I?

Oh, that's a honey, isn't it?

That's a real watch.

That's got the day
and the date.

I'll bet you that's
waterproof and shockproof.

Don't rush it, Mac.

That's it.

All right.
How do you switch to first?

Toward you and down.

Slow on the clutch.

That's it. That's it.

Okay. Watch this guy here.

All right.

All right. Take it around the full
circle till you get the hang of it.

All right, hit the highway.

Now, that's a what?

A yawl.

Yawl?

Yeah. Yeah.
Yawls, ketches, schooners.

And what makes a yawl?

Well, yawl have mainsails.

Difference is
that the mizzenmast

is aft of the steering station
on a yawl.

Thank you, Mr. Clay.
Thank you very much.

Mac.

Go look
around indoors.

I'd like to make a preliminary
check, if you don't mind.

No, no, no.
I like everything preliminary.

How was he
when you last saw him?

Well, when Taylor and I left him
at his house, he was healthy.

You know, the first thing that
our office did this morning

was check that security service
out there where he lives.

And a guard remembers your
leaving the island, all right,

but he never noticed your
father-in-law's boat leave.

He couldn't have.

Because it's impossible to see a
boat from the bridge gatehouse.

Check with the Coast Guard to see
if they have any logged record

of his departure, Lieutenant.

Oh, I never thought of that.

Good. We'll do that.

Listen, are the police always called in when
there's any possibility of an accident?

Accident. Oh, I'm sure
this is an accident.

Don't worry just because
I'm from Homicide.

Didn't I mention that?
Well, never mind.

If the Commodore
just fell off the boat,

probably somebody out there
already just picking him up.

I mean,
we get lots of false alarms.

Mr. Clay,
would you care to come aboard?

Love to have you
join us, Sergeant.

They'll only
take a minute there.

Sergeant, you got a match?

Mr. Clay,

smoke?

Erratically.

Lieutenant.

Excuse me, Lieutenant.

This is Ensign O'Connor.

Lieutenant Columbo.
Hi, Lieutenant.

Sergeant Kramer,
Ensign O'Connor.

Sergeant.

And, I think you know
Charles Clay.

Yes, we met.

And this is,
Bosun's Mate Murray.

Sorry. Lieutenant Columbo.

Bosun's Mate Murray,
this is Sergeant Kramer.

Sergeant. This is Mr. Clay.
Charles Clay, Bosun's Mate Murray.

All right. I got you.

Would these gentlemen
come aboard?

All right.

Lieutenant, I brought
Murray, here, down.

I thought you might like to
see his log entry last night.

Oh, yes, yes,
I certainly would.

What do you think?

This is a big thing,
this yawl.

Do you think one man could
sail this all by himself?

Well, sir,
if you ask me,

I think the Commodore could sail
the Queen Mary alone, sir.

Oh?

He's one of the finest sailors
in the world, Lieutenant.

Yes, he's designed even bigger
boats for single handling.

Well, what do you think
happened?

Well, sir, I don't know,

but that portside cleat
was pulled loose.

That might have given him
a little trouble.

Portside cleat.

Cleat.

What does that do?

It secures
the gib sheet.

Murray.

Yes, sir?

Let me take a look at
that log.

Yes, sir.
Here you go.

It'll show you as the time the Commodore
cleared the harbor last night.

That was : a.m.

I'm sure it was him, sir.
He was all alone.

Here.

Was the mizzen furled
when you found it?

No, sir,
it was all the way up.

The wind was
only knots, sir.

That's approximately
miles per hour,

on land.

Were the running lines free?

All clear, wheel perfect.
No seaweed below.

Thank you very much.

Right, sir.

Thank you very much.
Yes, sir.

Mr. Columbo, if he did
happen to fall overboard,

do you know what the odds are
against finding him in the water?

Between the tides,
sharks and currents?

Most of the people around here
seem to like him.

Yeah. Most of us. Fred!

Fred!

Who's Fred?

Yard Foreman.

You wanted to know why the Commodore
stopped by here yesterday. Fred was here.

Fred!

So you went up to his place and
you took him that thing, huh?

That's right.

You took him that quad?

Part of a vane.

Part of a vane.

And he was gonna
fix something?

Yeah. The boat was shipshape,

but he took it out last week and
there was one thing bugging him.

The self-steering vane.

And this part of the vane,
that's what this is for?

Yeah. It's self-adjusting.

The vane is self-adjusting.

Mr. Columbo, the Commodore's
yawl is fully equipped

to sail around the world
single-handed.

But you like to sleep,
don't you?

Oh, I've got to have my eight.

All right.
You gotta have your eight.

You're all alone on a boat, you
still need your eight. Right?

I got you.

Who's running the ship
while I'm in the sack?

The self-steering vane.

Fred!

Here!

Fred, this is
Lieutenant Columbo

from the
Los Angeles Police Department.

He wants to ask you
a question.

How you doing, Fred?

Okay, Lieutenant.

Be with you in a minute.

I got to see
one of those vanes.

How was he?

Who?

The Commodore.

He was pretty upset.
That's why he went sailing.

When he's upset
he takes it out at sea.

And you know him pretty good?

I've been managing his
boatyard for quite a while.

So you're the manager
of the Swanson Boatyard, huh?

This is Fred?

That's correct.

You run the yard
and he's the foreman.

Now, over you
is Mr. Charles Clay.

Is that right?

That's right.

And he married
the Commodore's daughter?

That's right.

And the Commodore
owns all this.

Nice boat.

All right.

Fred?

Yes, sir!

Mr. Taylor here

tells me that you were
down here yesterday afternoon,

and the Commodore came down.

And he went into
the spare parts shop.

The chandlery.

Is that right, Fred?

Yes, sir.

And he picked up a few things?

Is that right, Fred?

Mr. Taylor will tell you.

He was always in and out.
Picking up bits and pieces.

Do you remember
what he took yesterday?

Well, I had to
get back to work.

But by the time I left him, he had
a few stencils and some paint.

Stencils?

Yes, sir. Stencils. Cleat.
A bunch of running...

Cleat, is it?

Cleat!
Cleat?

Running lines...
Come again?

Running lines.
Running lines?

Yes, sir.
Like boat.

All right!

And a can
of black marine paint.

Marine paint. Black paint.

Black what?

Paint, sir. Black paint.

Black marine paint...

Marine paint?

What else, I don't know.

It doesn't make no sense.

Thank you, Fred.

Black paint?

Oh, Uncle Otis would have all
sorts of uses for black paint.

That doesn't mean anything,
Lieutenant.

That's not gonna tell you what
happened to him last night.

No, I don't suppose it would.

And you don't think that the Commodore is the
kind of man who would just fall overboard?

If he did, he'd walk home.

That's the way most people
thought of him around here.

And they were right.

You know, he's given me an allowance
ever since I was and my folks d*ed.

An allowance?

Oh, so they call it a salary
now, but who's kidding who?

He even stuck me in his will.
He showed it to me.

You've seen the will?
What's in it?

A couple of thousand
whereases.

He just wanted me to know
there'd be a trust set up,

in case Charles
got any bright ideas.

You didn't happen to notice whether
Charles inherits anything, did you?

No, no.

Joanna, the Commodore's daughter,
gets everything. The works.

But, you know, California's
a community-property state.

So, what's the difference?

Yes.

Right.

There she is.

That little gem there
was the wedding present.

It was five years ago.

You don't suppose I could

sort of get on that thing,
and just look around, do you?

You know, I've never been
on anything that fancy.

Why not? Be my guest.

A wedding present, huh?

Are you all right?

What are you doing?

TM.

TM?

Transcendental meditation.

Oh.

About what?

Relax.

Who are you?

Lisa.

That's not right.

What's not right?

Let me show you.

You're supposed to put
this foot up to this thigh,

and this foot
up to that thigh.

Would you help me
with that foot?

Relax.

I'm trying to.

This ankle hurts.

Relax?

This foot on this thigh.

This foot over here?

Would you help me with that?

I don't think I'm gonna
be able to do that.

Can I just keep
my legs out like this?

Sure.

Did you bring
that cop over here?

Yeah.

Why?

Idiot!

This is Mr.
Charles Clay's boat, isn't it?

Yes.

Okay.

I work for Mr. Clay.

What do you do?

I am a naval architect
and a marine engineer.

And I work

with Mr. Swanson.

I didn't know you were
into meditation, Lieutenant.

Well...

Lisa?

Yes.

Miss Lisa
was just demonstrating.

Lieutenant!

Hey, Lieutenant.
Where are you?

Up here!

Up on top of the back.

Well, do you want us to wait
down here or come up there?

Come on up.

Come below.

Have a nice meditation.

It's too bad you didn't stay at the Coast
Guard station a little longer this morning,

or at least check with
your office more often.

Why do you say that?

Oh, why do you keep suggesting that
my father-in-law's disappearance

was something
more than an accident?

Oh, just a couple of
little things bothered me.

Yes. This is Charles Clay.
May I speak to Ensign O'Connor, please?

It was Ensign O'Connor who found that
spot of blood on the mizzen boom.

Yes, Ensign.
This is Charles Clay.

Would you tell Lieutenant
Columbo what you told me?

All right? Right.
Hang on. Here.

Sorry.

Hello.

He lost control of a line, his boat jibed,
mizzen boom swung, and that was it.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, thank you.

What does "jibed" mean?

Come on, I'll show you.

That's the jibe, Lieutenant.

That's your
old fashioned jibe.

From port to starboard, starboard to port.
Right to left, left to right.

And what causes that?

Well, when you're going along,

wind gets behind your sail,
hits it, boom.

Moves it all the way from one
side of the vessel to the other.

Now, what's that?

What's what?
This here.

This wood?
Yeah.

It's the boom.

What boom is that?

What? It's the main boom.

Is there another boom?

Yeah, there's a mizzen boom.

The mizzen boom.

This is the mizzen boom.

Now, this is a smaller boom?

Yeah. It's also lower.

And lower. Yeah.

You heard of
lowering the boom?

Oh, yeah.
So this is lower.

Ah, yes. Oh, that's low. Yeah.

Okay.

Move to starboard, port,
same way.

Now, what's this?

That?
That's the self-steering vane.

That's the self-steering vane.
That's right.

You know how that works?

What do you do with that?

Let me show you. Here.

Put that up here.

Hold on this piece
right here

till it slides down
there just like that.

All the way down.

Then it self steers.
It's like an a*t*matic pilot.

By itself?

All by itself.
That's right.

I see.

As the wind catches it.

You don't have to... That's...

You don't have to
handle that?

That's not a handle.
That's a weight.

Ah, I see.

Let me just
take a look at that.

Here.

Okay.

There you go.

And I just take that off,
right?

Hang on. Hang on.

Wind will catch you
and you'll go over.

Oh,
I don't want to go over.

All right.
Okay.

There we are. All right.

And this whole yawl
is driven by this vane.

That's right.
Without a need of human help.

Yeah, all right.

Now, what way
would you put that on? Huh?

Doesn't make any difference.

Wouldn't make
no difference, huh?

Any difference.

Adjusts to the wind.

Right.

Look at that.

There's something missing
that should be here.

What's that?

There's supposed to be
a nut here.

A nut?
Yes. A nut.

You put that on over there, slide
it down, screw the nut on.

It secures it.

There's no nut.

Well, what is the nut for?

Well, it secures it.
It holds it on top. Just like that.

Oh, you put the vane on
down there.

Then this bolt comes up,
you screw down the bolt,

secures it, and it steers.

Oh. So the nut would be...

I see.
It should be there.

On top.

Or on top.

And there's no nut there, huh?

There's no nut.

Well, what do you think
happened?

I don't know.

Maybe it's somewhere
on board here.

There's no nut.

Well, what could've happened,
I'm speculating,

is the Commodore had
put the vane back there,

came up here,
took the nut off,

turned around this way.

As he started to walk,
his mizzen jibed like that.

He went overboard like that.
The nut dropped in the water.

As simple as that.

All right.

Where was the blood?

The blood was here on the
portside of the mizzen.

On the port.
Yeah. Right there.

On the portside.

There was the blood.

So he was turning this way.

It jibed.

It jibed this way.

Got him...
Port.

To the left
and got him, and that was it.

Over.

Watch your head.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Taking the nut off,

going to get
the self-steering vane,

and the mizzen boom jibed.

Right.

Blood on the port.

Hello.

Yes.

I'm sorry to hear that.

All right.

Right away.

They found your father.

Have they?

Columbo wants one of us
to identify the body.

He's dead.

Daddy!

Daddy!

I'd better go.

Please!

I have to, Joanna.
Now, don't drink.

Look.

Do you remember this, hmm?

Remember this?
My anniversary gift.

Look at it!

Our brooch.

Where did you find it?

I picked it up.

I can't remember.

No. I know you can't remember.

Now, don't drink.

Don't drink!

It's him.

I'm sorry, sir.

Thank you very much. Sergeant.

These are some of the things
that we found in his pocket.

You all right?

Yeah.

Was this a watch chain, maybe?
It was found hooked to his jacket.

Yeah. That was his.

See, it's broken.

I wonder where the watch is.

Well, I wouldn't know,
Lieutenant.

Wouldn't know.

Well, what's the difference?

It's not going to help us
find the m*rder*r.

The what?

The doctors are already pretty certain
that your father-in-law was dead

before he went in the water.

Maybe even some time before.

Something to do with water in the lungs.
Too much water,

not enough water.
No water.

They claim he was dead.

Maybe he was hit
and fell down,

and was knocked over later
by a big wave or something.

Well, you know, the Coast
Guard says that the swells

were only two or three feet.

There must've been
somebody else on the boat.

Lieutenant.

Yes, sir?

I was not
the other person on board.

Therefore, there is nothing that I
could have done to the Commodore.

You couldn't?

I left the island where his boat
was moored shortly after midnight.

And I never returned.

Check with the security guards.
They're on duty hours.

Now, sir,
this is the wrong way.

That's the right way.

They're on duty hours.

And I simply could not have
returned without them seeing me.

Yes, sir.
I guess that's all true.

And that guard, he certainly
remembers what time you left,

just like I told you he did.

But that's exactly what's been
bothering me right from the beginning.

Time.

Ever since I saw that
beautiful watch of yours,

time.

Why would you check with the guard
when you were leaving the island?

The time.

He's got a drugstore watch.

Unless you wanted to make certain that
when you were leaving he would remember...

The time.

I'm really confused. There're
so many islands around here.

Where are we now? Are we on an
island or are we on the mainland?

The mainland, Lieutenant.
Here, let me show you.

Ensign.

Let me explain it to him,
all right?

Lieutenant,
let me explain it to you.

Let's pretend that
you're the island

and your foot here

is the Commodore's house. Now,
over here is the mainland,

and this piling here
is the yacht club.

Now, between the yacht club
and the island is a channel.

From the yacht club to the
Commodore's house is about a mile.

Then on out to sea.

Is it possible to swim

from the mainland to the island
at night without being seen?

Well, the channel is very
well-lit, all night in fact.

But there's a reason for the law
against swimming, Lieutenant.

With all the boat traffic
in here,

the chances of being hit by a boat
or a propeller are only too good.

On top of which, it was a Friday night.
A lot of people were awake, partying.

I don't mean it's impossible.
I just don't think it's very likely.

Lieutenant,

your cigar.

Oh. You're right, Sergeant.
Thank you.

What do you have there?

Stencils.

Stencils.

Cleat, running line,
black marine paint.

Where's the other stuff?

It's on the boat.

This is a stencil and you
use that to paint a word.

These haven't been painted on.

No.

No paint.

No.

All right. What's the word?

Well, sir. I would
say "sails". This one...

This one is just a blank,
I guess.

"Sails" with a blank.

A hole.

And where would you
paint this?

Well, a lot of people stencil
their sails locker.

A locker.

Thank you for your time, sir.
That was very helpful. Appreciate the time.

Oh, that's okay.

Good luck.

Mac.

Sergeant.

Can we spell anything else
out of these?

Let's see.

Slia.

Silas, slias.

Slas.

Slasis.

Lassi?

You need an "E."

You need an "E" for that,
Sergeant.

A-S-S,

S,

I-S,

A-S-S-L-I.

Assli.

Sails?

I think it's just...
The only word you can spell is "sails."

Sails.

S-A-I-L-S.

It's the only one you got.

With a hole.

Was that you making
that noise?

You mean the regulator? Yeah.

What were you doing
under there?

Scraping the bottom
of the boat.

How long can you stay
under there with that t*nk?

With a full t*nk,
about minutes.

How long you been doing
that kind of work?

Oh, this is my fourth day.

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing.

Are you all right?

Yeah. I'm all right.

You cold?

A bit.

He's cold. Check your watch.

Check your watch.

Now, you're going from here.

He's going from here out to
that island. How far is that?

About a mile
down the channel.

Can you make that?

I got a compass.
I know the tide.

What time you got?

: .

Good luck to you.

Thanks.

I got done a lot sooner than I figured.
And nobody saw me. I'm positive.

What's your name?

Johnny.

Very good.

Did it work?

That's how he did it.
Did you find anything?

A broken watch.

And a lipstick.

Where'd you find them?

There were these little pieces
of broken glass, right there.

So, I looked around

and right under the couch
there was the watch.

Now, it must've been
knocked off of something.

Excuse me, and I found the lipstick right
under the corner of the couch here.

Where are they now?

On the desk.

Dust.

Did you fellas touch this?

No, sir.
No, sir.

I thought this house
had been searched before?

Just a quick look.

We supposed that the Commodore had
d*ed on his boat or fell off of it.

The court sealed up the house.

All right.

That could be
the Commodore's watch.

Probably is.

What was the time?

Can't see.

Hold that, Sergeant.

Can't see.

Mac,

get me the front end
of the telescope.

Yes, sir.

That unscrews.

All right. I need the lenses.

Is this what you want?

Yes.

Twelve

forty

two.

Saturday, st.

Chain.

All right.

So, if there was
a struggle here

and in the struggle
the chain broke,

how could the watch
be shoved under the carpet?

Somebody moved the body.

Lieutenant, you remember
that Charles Clay

checked off the island
at : ?

What are these?

Oh, these are belaying pins.

Belaying

pins.

They come off old time ships.
They're like...

Like an old fashioned cleat.
Tie the rope around them,

and then if you wanna release
the rope real fast you...

Don't touch that, Mac.

Don't they have
a housekeeper here?

Two-week vacation.

Lieutenant.

Can I put the lamp down?

Yes, Sergeant.

Mac. Dust.

Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust.

No dust.

You boys check
these things out.

The belaying pin,
the watch, and the lipstick.

For fingerprints?

I don't think you're gonna
find any, Sergeant.

So if the Commodore
was k*lled here,

I guess we know
who sailed the yawl.

I guess we do, Mac.

Charles Clay?

Who else?

Thank you.

Did you find her?

No, not yet. Mrs. Clay had an
appointment at the hairdresser at : .

She was there. She left and we're
still trying to locate her.

And the housekeeper
got here at : ?

Right. Mrs. Clay didn't like
her to get here any earlier

'cause she was normally
a little rocky in the morning.

It was all so simple.
A nice straight line.

You've still got
a nice straight line.

No, you can't talk to
Charles Clay. He's gone.

One, four.

And Mrs. Clay isn't here,
either.

Five.

Thank you.

I still have what?

You still got
a nice straight line.

I mean, Charles Clay still
could've k*lled the Commodore.

Who knows?
Maybe he had a partner.

They got into an argument this morning.
The partner k*lled him, right?

Lieutenant, I also found in the fireplace
with those other things some feminine stuff.

Handkerchief
and a piece of comb.

Feminine?

Yeah.

Maybe I ought to take up
smoking again.

Now, the letter and the notes
in the fireplace

look like they were stolen from the Commodore.
And I told the lawyer,

when he gets here
you want a sample.

Lieutenant.

That's certainly
the old boy's handwriting.

And what does it say,
Mr. Kittering?

Well, it appears to be a rough
draft of a letter he was writing

to a big fiberglass factory.
I know something about them.

They've been trying to buy
the boatyards for years.

And had he decided to sell?

No. How could I know?
I don't think anyone knew.

See, he was a secretive
old fellow.

And I've been his lawyer all this time,
but he never really confided in me.

Except when he wanted to.
He made up his own mind,

and did what he wanted to
and that was that. By the way,

has Joanna, Mrs. Clay,
seen this?

We haven't even found her yet.

Well, it's nothing
to do with me.

I mean, I'm not her lawyer,
I was always his lawyer.

But I feel a certain amount of
responsibility for the family

and I was just thinking that,
perhaps, you might be imagining

that Joanna might be involved
in something or other.

Of course, you've heard
about her temper,

her drinking and the rows
with her husband.

No, sir, the only thing that I've
heard is now that her father is dead,

she's gonna inherit
all the money.

Well, of course. I mean,
she's the primary heir.

She's the heiress
to the whole fortune.

The nephew gets very little, and
the rest are just token gifts.

Mr. Kittering, forgive me
for asking you this,

but where were you the night
the Commodore was k*lled?

Oh, poor old Otis.
Where was I?

I think I was in a motel.

In a motel, sir?

Yes, I'm sure I was. Nice little motel.
I can recommend it.

Where was it, sir?

Sounds odd, but I couldn't quite tell you.
I could find it, I think.

It's somewhere near that new restaurant
they talk about, the Captain's Quarters.

Any witnesses?

There was a young lady.

Her name, sir?

Shall we say we weren't
formally introduced?

Ships that pass in the night.
Not that many ships pass in my nights anymore,

I regret to say.

Lieutenant?

We've found Mrs. Clay.
She's at the yacht club.

Tell Frazer to get things cleaned up.
See you at the car.

Thank you very much.

A pleasure.

Hi, Lieutenant.

Swanny, how are you?

Fine.

I'd like a word with you, ma'am.
Could we go someplace more quiet?

I know. I know, Lieutenant.

My husband has been m*rder*d.

Charlie Clay's been
m*rder*d, Lieutenant?

How did you happen
to know that, ma'am?

Homicide cop!

I've got to ask you
where you've been, Mrs. Clay.

At the hairdresser.

Can't you tell?

What about the night
of the Commodore's death?

I don't know where I was.

At some point that night,
I don't remember anything.

What do you mean,
you don't remember anything?

Does he have a better memory?

'Cause she was here
the night of the party.

She hasn't done anything.
Now let her alone!

No, no, no,
don't lie for me!

I'm sorry,

but I vaguely

remember going to my,

my father on the island.

At about midnight maybe.

No later than that.

I was back here singing with the
boys a few minutes after : .

You went with her
to see her father?

That's right.

He took me to the boat.

And then drove me out there, dropped me,
and after that I don't know anything.

Look, please. Just try to recall
how you got home that night.

A girl friend
who lives on the island

called me the next day.

She and her husband told me

they found me sound asleep

on one of
their patio chairs at

: a.m.

Apparently, they were
kind enough to

take me home
and put me to bed.

Isn't that a pretty story,
Lieutenant?

My husband

and my father are both dead and
I don't know what happened!

Oh!

Mrs. Clay.

Where have you been?

I don't know where I've been
for years.

That's the third time you've made this run.
How many more times you gonna make it?

What time you got?

Here, see for yourself.

What's this all about, anyway?

Oh, I was just trying
to prove something.

From here to there.

See, there's no way that Clay could
have made that in four minutes.

You know the Commodore?

I didn't see him that often.
He wasn't a man much for cars.

He was a man
more for the water.

He took me for a little sail
once, Lieutenant. It was lovely.

Really lovely.

It's a shame. Real shame.

Would you open that wooden
thing for me there, please?

Sure.

Clay's out.

Who's in, Mac?

Clay's out.

What do you think, Mac?

Rethink.

You got any Irish in you, Mac?

No.

You're sure?

Pretty sure.

Pretty sure.

Look at all this, Mac.

Water,

ducks,

boats.

It's beautiful.

Wouldn't it be nice to take one of these
boats and just go sailing somewhere?

I got it.

Have you got it?

Got what?

It.

It?

Molly J.

Are you nervous?

I still get a little tightening in
my stomach from time to time myself.

Mr. Kittering, doughnut?

Oh, no. Not just at the
moment. Thanks all the same.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Why not, why not.

Hello.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hello there. Good morning.

Forgive me for being late, but what
has to be done has to be done.

There's a chair in the rear,
Miss King.

Sergeant.

Oh, a doughnut.

Good idea.

Mac!
Yeah?

What time do you have?

I've got : .

Mrs. Clay, would you come here
a moment?

Mrs. Clay!

I want you to look
through the telescope.

Daddy.

Daddy!

Otis?

Columbo,
what in hell is going on?

Trust me.

Daddy.

Do me a favor.

Daddy.

You know, I've always been fond of this room.
It's so peaceful.

Almost like being at sea.

Daddy.

The brightly beams
our Father's mercy

From His lighthouse evermore

But to us
He leaves the keeping

Of the lights along the shore

It's only me, folks. Only me.

I'm sorry, Joanna.

You did a terrific job.

Thank you, sir.

Close the door.

All right.
Let's get on with it. Mac.

I'm sorry, but I know that you wouldn't believe
me unless you could see how easy it was.

Lieutenant,

I didn't hear what you said.

I said, it was the only way to
convince her how easy it was.

He means to impersonate
your father, Mrs. Clay.

And, Mr. Clay, the night he got
away with it, it was dark.

Thank you, Sergeant.
Thank you, Mac. Let's go.

Mac.

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, I felt
that, actually, the Lieutenant felt

that if... We'd save time
if we all got together here.

I'm sure you're all as anxious
as we are to know what happened

the night that Commodore
was k*lled.

And, of course, find the m*rder*r
of your husband, Mrs. Clay.

Charles k*lled the Commodore?

Did anyone say that?

Okay, now what we meant was...

Here, I'll show you
on the map.

What we meant was, here's the
mainland, here's the island.

This is
the bridge to the island.

Everybody knows that, Mac.

This is the yacht club and the
Commodore's house, the harbor area...

We all know where we are, Mac.

All right.
Now, what we meant was

that Mr. Clay

took the Commodore's body from
the house to the boat.

He sailed the boat out passed the
Coast Guard station into the ocean,

and then somehow he fixed up the boat
to make it look like an accident.

And then swam home.

Right. Now, I got
a list of suspects here.

Don't show that!

I don't think he,

Charles Clay,

I don't think
he m*rder*d anybody.

Really, Mr. Columbo.

Charlie certainly went to a lot of trouble
if he didn't m*rder the Commodore.

Oh, I think he would've gone to twice
that much trouble if he thought

that his wife had m*rder*d
the Commodore.

Wait a minute, Columbo.
Back off.

Maybe he loved you
more than you thought, baby.

I wasn't actually talking about
that kind of love. Was I, Mac?

Well, I think the Lieutenant was
talking about love of money.

Mr. Kittering, you'd know more
about that, wouldn't you?

According to California law,

if Mrs. Clay were convicted of k*lling her
father, could she still inherit from him?

Oh, of course not. No way.
And what's more,

poor old Charlie wouldn't have been able
to get his hands on any of the stuff.

That's what we meant, right?

Yeah. That's what we meant,
Sergeant.

I didn't k*ll Daddy.

The young fella is a new
officer, a trainee.

Oh, yeah?

The other guy's
been around for a while.

Good for him.

But your husband
might have thought you did.

The brooch.

He gave it back to me the next day, but
he didn't tell me where it came from.

Oh.

I'll bet it was right here.

He asked me
such strange questions.

And you gave him all the wrong
answers, too, right?

And your husband must have begun to
realize that he'd made an awful mistake.

Now, if that's the case, that's
when your husband began to realize

who really did
k*ll your father.

So that's why he had
to be k*lled.

That's right, because he started
asking somebody questions.

Somebody?
Who you talking about?

Are you kidding?
A lot of people would've been very upset

if they'd suddenly found out
what the Commodore was up to.

And what's that
supposed to mean?

Well, everybody knows that the Commodore
had been acting a little funny lately.

Like, maybe the way he'd built that little
yawl to suddenly sail away on for good.

Right. Right. But the Commodore
had a lot of unfinished business.

Yeah. Like painting.

Right. Right. And the will.
And the will.

Excuse me. The boatyards.

The boatyards.

And a whole
lot of other things.

And a whole
lot of other things.

All right, fellas. Give me
a minute here, would you?

Sergeant,
get me them list of stencils.

Mac, can you reach up there?
Let's look at that list of suspects now.

Give me that brown paper bag.
We'll use that. All right.

Mac, help him with
the stencils. Hold them up.

Let's see that list of suspects.
Can you all see that?

One, two, three,
four, five, six.

We don't have to read that,
do we? All right.

This is what we found
in the boatyard.

Stencils, marine black paint.
All right.

S-A-I-L-S.
That's what it spells.

We thought he was putting
"sails" on his locker.

Get me that other thing.

The one with the hole in it.

That's right.

All right. Now, we're
standing on a bridge,

this fella here and me, and we
seen some ducks there and a boat.

And then
we remembered something.

The Commodore, he never painted
the name on his boat, did he? No.

And that circle there,
that became a period.

So we had to rearrange things,
didn't we, fellas?

Where's that other thing?
That big thing?

Get that big thing out.

So we got a hold of duplicate
stencils and some black paint,

and we rearranged
those letters.

This is what we came up with.

And that's what
we came up with.

He was going to name the boat
after her?

Well, the only trouble with that,
sir, is that her last name is King.

And you've got an "S" left over.
Try again, Lieutenant.

The old boy
was gonna marry the kid.

Look at that, Lisa Swanson.
The old boy was gonna marry the kid.

Look at her. She's young enough
to be his granddaughter.

Just hold it everybody.

Go ahead. Tell them.

They don't know.

Love isn't just

one age or another.

Mr. Swanson was the most
beautiful man who ever lived.

And one of the richest,
my dear.

But I didn't want
anything from him.

Sail the seas with him.

I just wanted to make him happy
for the rest of his life.

Tell them what he told you

about his will.

I told him
I wouldn't marry him

unless he promised
not to leave me any money.

But he didn't want anybody
else to have it, either.

He was sick of parasites.

So he was gonna sell
the boatyards.

And, except for a small
trust fund for you, Mrs. Clay,

he was gonna give it all
to charity.

A sad story.
Enough to make you weep.

Columbo, I...

Mr. Taylor, would you
kindly sit down?

Swanny, be seated please.

As a matter of fact,

that girl is the only one
in this room

that doesn't have a single motive for
k*lling the Commodore or Mr. Clay.

Do you own that?

Thank you.

Swanny,

the Commodore's watch.

It isn't.

The Commodore's watch.

So what?

The Commodore's watch.

Big deal.

The Commodore's watch.

Daddy's watch?

Your father's watch, ma'am.
Did you give that to him?

I noticed it's got the same kind of
face as the one you gave your husband.

Yes, I did.

Daddy loved a pocket watch,

so I mounted it in his
own father's gold case.

Yeah, I thought
it was something like that.

But this watch
was broken at : .

And your husband left the island at : .
That's awfully close.

That's not enough time to struggle
with the Commodore, then k*ll him,

then talk to Mr. Taylor, then
drive over to the guard house.

No, not in four minutes. No.

We checked that, didn't we?

Don't forget, I got
to the house after Charles.

Oh, that's an old trick they
use in mystery books, Wayne.

You think you're going to be seen
leaving a place, so you just

turn about,
then pretend you're coming in.

When we found this watch, there
were no fingerprints on it.

Oh, I see. But don't you think
it's possible

that someone might have been able to
get hold of it, the watch, I mean,

and reset it just to make you think
that the Commodore was m*rder*d

at : .

If so, sir, tell us who.

Well, if it couldn't
be Mr. Clay,

then it had to be
somebody else.

Somebody who had
been there earlier.

Somebody who put
the watch ahead.

The same person who left so many
clues pointing to Mrs. Clay

that Mr. Clay thought
she committed the crime.

Of course, then Mr. Clay, he messed
everything up and took the body away.

Will you answer his question.
Who was it?

Well, Mr. Kittering.

What?

Who do you think would benefit the
most by the Commodore's death?

Oh, well, Mr. Swanson,
of course.

I mean, he's what we call
the secondary heir.

In fact, he's the only other
member of the family, isn't he?

Swanny?

Swanny, that's right. Swanny.

What do you think, Swanny?

Now, the only reason a m*rder*r
would reset a watch like that

would be to provide himself with
an alibi, what do you think?

Sure, but...

You're the only one
who bothered to do that.

You said by a few minutes past : ,
you were back at the yacht club

singing with the boys.

So what?

Of course, you're the only one who knew
exactly where Mrs. Clay went that night.

Who could have known
how upset she was?

Who could have followed them and heard
the fight between her and her father?

Saw the fight.

Who could've gone in there and
k*lled him when she left the room?

Who else could've gotten
something out of her purse

when she was riding in a boat
coming back here?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

When she was drunk
and in a stupor.

Who else could have done that?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Maybe that's when
I lost the brooch.

Listen to you.

You lost that brooch fighting with
your father when you k*lled him.

That's it!
It had to be you, Joanna.

Mr. Columbo, excuse me.

You think that any one of us
might have done this thing?

Is that what
you're trying to tell us?

Yes, sir. I guess I am.
Except for one thing.

You'll notice that none of you have seen
this watch closely. You've only heard it.

You heard it tick.

When I was talking about a watch that
was found at the scene of the crime

that was broken,
it was smashed.

It did not tick.

It didn't work.

The Commodore's watch.
Now you see it.

And this is the broken
inside part.

And we took this watch to a jeweler and
we had the broken inside part replaced.

So now the watch ticks.

You all heard it tick.

And I... When I went to you
Mrs. Clay, and I said,

"The Commodore's watch,"
you said,

"Daddy's watch."

And when I said to you,
Mr. Kittering,

"The Commodore's watch,"

what'd you say?

I think I said, "Big deal."

"Big deal."

And I said to you, Mr.
Taylor, "The Commodore's watch,"

you said, "So..."

"What."

"What."

And when I said to you,
Swanny,

"The Commodore's watch,"

he said,

"It isn't."

Which means

it isn't.

No, it is not

the Commodore's watch.

Because you were the only one who knew
that the Commodore's watch was smashed

because you smashed it

at the scene of the crime.

That about wrap it up?

Yes, Mac.

That about wraps it up.

Are you expecting rain, Mac?

Well, you just can't be
too careful, Lieutenant.

You got a match, Sergeant?

Thought you were gonna quit?

Not yet.

No. Not yet, Sergeant.

Not yet.

Where are you going?

I'm meeting my wife
at the yacht club.