04x12 - Guilt Tripping

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late...

I'll never make it in time.

There's only one thing to do.

♪♪

I'll just pretend I didn't see that.

♪♪

Ohmph!

OUCH!

HEY!

[bell rings]

OMG! What have I done?

What just happened, Brittany?

I have no clue, Whittany,

but could you get that noise to, like... stop?

[click]

Thank you.

Girls, I know pulling the fire alarm when there's no fire

may seem like a hilarious prank,

but it's quite dangerous and a potentially suspendable offense.

[sigh] Mr. Barish, we didn't mean to do it.

We were trying to prevent an invasion.

Yeah, of our personal space.

Well, I have to admit, that's better than your past excuses.

[screams]

Aliens made us do it.

[shouts]

That kid in the ugly shirt made us do it.

[coughing]

Aliens in ugly shirts made us do it.

But there is no excuse for pulling the fire alarm

when there isn't a fire!

I'm seriously considering suspending you!

Mr. Barish, the twins didn't --

Stop talking, Blythe.

You're only going to make things worse for us!

Because that's what you, like... do!

Mr. Barish, you can't suspend us!

Daddy will take away our salaries!

You mean 'allowances,' Brittany.

Seriously, Daddy's the harshest punisher ever.

Totally! Didn't we used to have an older sister?

No, Brittany, that was a movie we watched last night.

Oh, right.

Andale, ladies.

But, really, Mr. Barish,

we didn't mean to do anything wrong.

For once.

That's a nice story, girls, but I've made my decision.

Starting now, you're officially suspended.

♪ [horror stings]

♪ You think about all the things ♪

♪ That you love to do

♪ It all comes true

♪ You find a place you never knew ♪

♪ Where you're happy to

♪ Just be you!

♪ We can be [yeah]

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me We can be [yeah] ♪

♪ Who we want to be [yeah]

♪ At littlest pet shop

♪ You and me

Really, Mr. Barish, pulling the fire alarm wasn't our fault.

Yeah, Mr. Barish. We're victims of circus stands!

I'm the reason Whittany and Brittany are getting suspended.

I've got to stop this, right now. Ulp!

Woo Hoo! The Biskit twins are gone! Yippee!

Today's like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one!

As long as Whittany and Brittany are suspended,

school will be paradise! Except for the 'school' part.

But the Biskits never would've pulled the fire alarm

if it wasn't for me. I caused this miscarriage of justice.

Justice is exactly what this is! Think about it, Blythe.

How many dirty tricks have Whittany and Brittany pulled

on you, on all of us, that they were never punished for?

Look around, Blythe. Is anyone sad about what just happened?

[cheers]

No. [sigh] Except the Biskits.

♪ [circus calliope]

Pepper, what are you doing?

I thought I'd add a little spice to my comedy act.

So I'm learning how to juggle!

But do you have to learn with my lucky rock?

It's a rock!

It's one of my favorite things! And it's lucky!

[thud]

Don't worry, Vinnie, it's in good hands.

But most of the time, it's not in your hands!

Look, Vinnie, if I say I'm not going to drop your lucky rock,

I won't drop your lucky rock!

♪♪

[ricochets]

[sigh]

[gasp]

[cr*ck]

[horrified gasps]

Ooops.

♪ [dramatic music]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Uh-oh.

My lucky rock. Broken in half.

Now what's going to keep the luck in?

Gee, Vinnie, I feel terrible.

Pepper, I wish you would've asked

if you could borrow my lucky rock,

and I would've said, 'NO WAY!'

Pepper, you have wronged Vinnie mightily.

I feel it is only right that Vinnie

select a punishment for you.

Oh, that sounds fair. Then at least I won't feel so guilty.

So, Vinnie, what do you think a proper punishment would be?

I dunno. I'm too sad to come up with a punishment right now.

I'm gonna have to think about it with my unlucky rock.

Wow, I never thought Vinnie would go for that.

Oh, well, now you just have to wait for him

to choose your punishment.

No matter how long it might take.

Have a good rest of the day!

[moan]

♪♪

So Blythe, I was trying to think of new flavors to add

to my pet treat line. How does peanut butter and banana sound?

I'm not looking at you!

You're not looking at who?

The Biskits' lockers are right over there.

They HATE when they think I'm looking at their lockers!

Blythe, the Biskits aren't here.

They were suspended yesterday, remember?

Oh, yeah. They're not here.

[happy sigh] Isn't it nice?

I guess so.

Yes, Whittany and Brittany,

I am having an extra helping of mashed potatoes.

[crickets]

I keep forgetting they're not here.

OK, class, you will have one hour to complete this prep quiz

for next week's big exam. Pencils ready, and... Go!

Look you two, don't even think about looking at my answers.

It sure is fortunate you're all here today for this quiz.

If you weren't, it would be very hard to pass next week's exam,

which is worth half your grade.

[groan]

[humming]

[poof]

Oww.

Has Vinnie made a decision about my punishment yet?

Not yet. He's been sitting over there

since you broke his lucky rock yesterday.

How long is this 'punishment selection'

supposed to take, Sunil?

Until there are three stars visible in the northeastern-most

quadrant of the southwestern- most part of the sky.

Or, until Vinnie makes up his mind.

Well, maybe I can speed things up. I'm gonna go talk to him.

Eeee!

[groan]

[sob] I sure coulda used you today, lucky rock.

Sunil asked me to guess a number between one and ten.

And I said, 'Q'. I coulda picked the number he was thinkin' of,

but somebody had to go and juggle with you

and break your lucky powers in two.

Breakin' my heart in two at the same time. [cries]

[sigh]

Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight?

It's like a whole new era: 'Day Three, A.B.' After Biskits.

Every time I remember the Biskits aren't here,

I also remember that I'm the reason they aren't here.

Don't their desks look like they're staring at me?

Accusing me. STOP LOOKING AT ME! Mr. Barish...

Hello, Blythe. Isn't it a wonderful day?

Everything's so perfectly perfect lately.

I guess so. I was just wondering.

For how long were the Biskits suspended?

Oh, just one day. I asked Principal Morris for more,

but he was afraid Fisher Biskit would sue. Again.

One day? But they pulled the fire alarm

two days ago! Where are they?

I don't know where the Biskits are.

The Principal called Fisher Biskit and let him know

the girls were eligible to return to school.

And...?

Well, and Mr. Biskit said the girls weren't ready

for a school environment.

He said they were 'receiving treatment'.

Treatment?

What did Mr. Biskit mean that Whittany and Brittany

were receiving treatment?

Maybe they're having their brains replaced.

Be realistic, Youngmee.

You have to have a brain before you can replace it.

Maybe they were transferred to another school... on Venus!

Very realistic, Sue.

Well, whatever 'treatment' means, it doesn't sound good.

And they wouldn't be getting treatment if it wasn't for me!

I have to tell the truth!

And then you'd be responsible for ruining all that.

[cheers]

Is that what you want, Blythe?

No...yes...argh, I don't know!

You're a hero, Blythe!

We love you!

Has Vinnie said anything to you?

Yes. No! Well, I guess it depends.

De-, Dep... On what?

Well, I talked to Vinnie when I first met him.

I said, 'Hello,' and then I talked to him on his birthday

and I said, 'Happy Birthday,' because it was the first time

I'd seen him that day. And then I said-

No, no, no. Have you talked to Vinnie

since he went off to think of my punishment?

Oh! Uh-uh.

Before you ask me, I haven't spoken to Vinnie.

I wasn't going to ask you that, Russell.

Oh. What did you want to ask me?

Do you know if Penny Ling has talked to Vinnie?

[sigh] I don't believe she has, no.

Thanks for the info.

Happy to help.

This is terrible.

Darling, stop that this instant!

What a waste of a perfectly - awful manicure!

Zoe! Has Vinnie mentioned any punishments to you?

Painful punishments? Humiliating punishments? Scary punishments?

No, darling, and if I were you,

I wouldn't worry so much about it.

You'll only give yourself a furball!

Ptui!

Great! Now I have to worry about furballs

on top of everything else.

Blythe! Boy, am I having a tough time.

Tell me about it. But as bad as my day is,

I keep imagining how much worse it must be

for Whittany and Brittany.

♪ [violin]

♪ I picture Whittany,

♪ She's on that barge,

♪ The drum beats heavy,

♪ And the oars are large.

♪ She looks unhappy,

♪ And her hands are sore.

♪ They keep her working

♪ Till she hits the floor.

♪♪

♪ I'm in deep doo-doo,

♪ I'm quite a wreck,

♪ It's like two boulders

♪ Wrapped around my neck,

♪ I wish I never ever

♪ Saw that rock,

♪ The weight's so heavy

♪ I can barely walk.

♪ The Guilty Tango - oh oh,

♪ The voices screaming out

♪ Inside your head,

♪ The Guilty Tango - oh oh,

♪ You wish you didn't,

♪ But you did instead.

♪♪

♪ Oh, then there's Brittany,

♪ She's hanging there,

♪ The gator's hungry

♪ Snapping for her hair,

♪ It seems quite vicious,

♪ And such bad luck,

♪ She paid seven hundred

♪ Bucks for that hair cut!

♪ What will Vinnie do to me?

♪ Make me feed him flies?

♪ I'd rather face a crowded house ♪

♪ Of spoiled banana cream pies! ♪

♪ The Guilty Tango - oh oh,

♪ The voices screaming out

♪ Inside your head,

♪ The Guilty Tango - oh oh,

♪ You wish you didn't,

♪ But you did instead.

♪ The Guilty Tango- oh oh,

♪ Your conscience nagging

♪ As it fills your ears,

♪ The Guilty Tango - oh oh,

♪ The dance could carry on

♪ For years and years!

[sigh]

It feels better to talk about your problems, doesn't it?

Not really.

♪♪

Blythe, would you please stop b*ating yourself up about this?

Yes, it's weird that the Biskits have been gone so long,

but you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

They wouldn't feel guilty if they were in your shoes.

Well, maybe that's what makes me different

from Whittany and Brittany.

And besides I'm pretty sure they'd never be in my shoes.

Definitely not the ones I get at the thrift shop.

So what do you think you should do about this situation?

The only thing I can do. Go to Principal Morris, and--

-confess that Whittany and Brittany Biskit were suspended

because I was running in the hall and I ran right into Chet

who ran into Jasper who bumped into Youngmee who fell on Sue

and the Biskits just grabbed at the alarm to keep from falling!

Well, Ms. Baxter, I'm certainly glad you stepped forward

and told me what really caused Whittany and Brittany

to pull that fire alarm.

I just wish you'd come to me sooner.

Me, too. It's just that everyone seemed so happy

not to have to deal with the twins for a while.

I'm really sorry.

To you and to the Biskits.

But look, I've gathered up all of their homework assignments...

And, I'm fully prepared to go over to Biskit Manor

and help Whittany and Brittany catch up on their assignments,

no matter how long it takes.

I have to say, Blythe, visiting the Biskits at their home,

after everything that's happened,

sounds like a worse punishment than I could ever give you.

I hope you're wrong, Principal Morris...

But I have a feeling you're not.

Hey there, Vinnie! Lookin' good!

Are you doing something different with your scales?

And I've been meaning to tell you.

That dance you've been workin' on?

Smokin'!

♪ [humming]

AH! VINNIE! WATCH OUT!

There you go, Vinnie. Cleared you a nice, wide path.

Wouldn't want you to trip.

[weak laugh]

Hey Vinster, I created some of your favorite cologne!

[coughs] Not one of my better scents.

So, Pepper, has Vinnie told you the punishment

he has selected for you?

No. I think he's giving me the silent treatment.

I can't think of a worse punishment

from one of my friends.

Oh, I can think of many worse punishments.

And I'm sure Vinnie can, too.

Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

[chomping]

[grunts and groans]

[sigh]

[buzz]

What the 'ding-dong'?

Scanning visitor fingerprint.

Hey, let go of my finger!

Visitor identification:

Blythe Baxter. Distinguishing features: mole on left -

Hey!

Proceeding to secondary identification.

[grunts]

Dental records positive match for Blythe Baxter.

Recommendation: More frequent flossing.

I'll make a note of that, thanks.

Could you please just ring the doorbell?

[ding dong]

Blythe? What are you doing here?

Whittany! Brittany! You're alive!

I mean, I didn't think you weren't, but...

What do you, like, want, Blythe?

[sigh]

I'm here to apologize.

I'm the one who caused your suspension

by running in the halls.

And if your dad's thinking about stringing you up by your ankles

over hungry alligators as some sort of treatment,

I'll be happy to tell him that I'm the one who broke the rules.

[laugh]

Fine. Hang over alligators for all I care.

[laugh] Daddy isn't going to hang us

over alligators, or whatever.

He just enrolled us in a m*llitary-

m*llitary school?

Your father enrolled you in a m*llitary school

because of what I did?

[laugh]

Spa, Blythe. A m*llitary spa.

A m*llitary... spa?

Yeah, where we were ordered to, like, relax

and think about what we'd done.

And we did relax, but we didn't think;

one, because it hurts our brains,

and 'B', because we hadn't done anything.

So it was, like, the perfect vacation.

And now we totes get the perfect revenge,

seeing you feeling all guilty over our non-punishment!

Wait till we tell everyone at school tomorrow

how mondo dorko you looked!

[laugh]

What are those?

The joke. And it's on you. These are the assignments you missed,

and I'm the tutor that's going to catch you up on them.

However long it takes.

[scream]

You pets will not believe the day I had- Oh!

We all know why we are gathered here today:

to settle this situation between Pepper and Vinnie.

To present a fair punishment for the grave injustice

Pepper perpetrated upon Vinnie's beloved once lucky rock.

Vinnie, I understand that you've decided on a punishment.

Yes. Yes, I have. Pepper?

♪ [dramatic music]

I'd like you to... apologize.

Wha?

Huh?

I have no idea what's going on here.

I thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it,

but I just didn't want to do anything mean to you, Pepper.

You're my friend and you made a mistake, that's all.

I know I've made a lot of them.

So, Pepper, I can't be too mad at you.

And anyway, waiting around while I was tryin' to make up my mind

about your punishment was punishment enough.

Vinnie, I am so, so sorry that I took your lucky rock

without your permission and then broke it.

And I know I can't make everything

the way it was, but here.

I wanted to give it to you after you told me my punishment,

to show you that I really am sorry

and not trying to get out of my responsibility.

Pepper, it's the greatest present anybody ever gave me.

But I want you to keep it.

You want me to keep it?

So it can bring you as much luck as it brought me.

Awwwww...

And besides, I have a whole sack full of lucky rocks.

[humming]... Rock!

You've got [crazed laugh] sack full of lucky rocks?

[crazed laugh]