18x17 - I'll Cover You

[bunniefuu]

[DEVON GILFILLIAN'S "ICARUS" PLAYS]

♪

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

MEREDITH: In the last decade,
researchers have discovered

that humans have at least six senses.

♪ Rather play with fire than follow ♪

♪

♪ Ain't got time to wait for tomorrow ♪

This new sense is called proprioception.

♪

♪ Oooo, I wanna live above the weather ♪

♪ Oooo, I wanna kiss the sky forever ♪

♪ Now I'm crashing
through the ceiling... ♪

It refers to how your brain understands

where your body is in space.

♪ ...as if the dark has won ♪

♪ Wax is melting, wings are failing ♪

♪ At least I touched the sun ♪

♪ At least I touched the sun ♪

The mind, body connection to people...

- [SIGHS]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]

♪ No receipts or second chances ♪

♪

♪ No repeats or second dances... ♪

Hey. Uh, so what do we got?

Um, Dr. Wilson?

Yeah?

♪

...and to your environment.

♪

Mmm. Bye, baby, I'll see you
tonight for dinner.

- Mmm.
- What, no breakfast?

Oh, honey, I'm having breakfast
with Helen Anderson

at the Medical Accreditation Council.

I gotta try to save
your residency program.

The Grey-Sloan follow-up
is not for a few weeks,

and you know I'm not above
calling in a favor.

- Good luck with that.
- [SMOOCHES]

[MUTTERS] Don't want that.

Ah.

Mm, voilà.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

And this, baby girl,
is the operating floor.

One of my favorite places.

Happy place!

[CHUCKLING] Yes, my happy place!

Let's see what's going on in OR .

I did my first surgery in there.

And Ben did his at...

no, no, no.

Oh, no, no.

Morning, Chief. Who is our new intern?

Hi, my name is Pru.

Hi, Pru. I'm Maggie.
It's so nice to meet you.

No, oh, no, have you all seen
this board?

Cancelled, postponed, incomplete staff.

No, oh... okay, you know what?

I took a few days off,
found my joy again,

brought my joy to work,
was gonna carry my joy all day,

but now I have to leave my joy
at daycare

because clearly nothing was done
in my absence!

[SIGHS] Saving this program
is a "we" problem,

not a "me" problem.

So we need to fix this.

Remind everyone why Grey-Sloan
is the premier place to work.

And then get me a list of people

whose names belong on this board.

[SIGHS]

Well?

Uh, uh, I'm sorry? Just us or...

No, everyone!

Spread the word. Go. Save the program.

- Save lives. Educate!
- Alright, here we go.

And if you need me,

I'll be in
the ninth floor conference room

because my office has a smell.

That does not bring me joy.

See that, baby girl?

That is reclaiming your power.

[CHUCKLES]

Feels like my first day of school.

Yeah, and you've already been called

to the principal's office.

- Yeah, seriously. Why am I so nervous?
- [CHUCKLES]

Because Bailey likes it that way.

She thrives on terrifying people.

So you're still mad about what she said?

She hasn't apologized to me,

which means that she'sstill mad.

Which means that I'mstill mad.

Well, then,
this meeting's gonna go great.

Oh, hey, Dr. Webber. It's nice to...

Dr. Webber? This is Nick Marsh.

He's going to be here
for a couple of months.

It's nice to finally meet you,
Dr. Webber.

Uh-huh.

- [OBJECTS CLATTERING]
- Here.

What was that about?

There used to be snacks in here.

Richard.

Richard.

Huh?

Are you okay?

When'd you get here?

Come with me.

Come with me, please.

So yesterday we asked Leo

if he wanted us to tell Ms. Patty...

she runs the daycare...
that he was a girl.

ROBIN: And?

And he asked for a string cheese.

Well, I mean, but...

but he nodded
before he asked for the cheese.

You said that
we could consider disclosing

what's going on to other people
if we see signs.

Persistent, consistent,
and insistent signs.

Mm. The only insistent thing
is the request for snacks, so...

[CHUCKLING] And that's okay.

Let Leo be gender creative right now.

He doesn't need to change his pronoun

or his name or his clothes.

Well, uh, if we're not doing that,

then... then what are we doing?

Supporting and affirming.

You're following Leo's lead.

Which may be one thing today,

but it might be something
completely different tomorrow.

It's hard to know.

[CHUCKLES]

What is it?

It's just [CLEARS THROAT]
Teddy loves ambiguity, so...

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

Take her to trauma one. Thank you.

Bailey's got you covering the pit, too?

Apparently she thinks
I'm an actual machine.

I haven't seen you in days.

I know. What are you up to tonight?

I'm hanging out with Todd.

Oh, can you watch Luna tonight?

- I meant to text you.
- Seriously?

It's just that you know
her bedtime routine,

and a new sitter would have to learn...

Did you page me for this?

No. Bed four.

Patient came in with
abdominal pain and vomiting.

The wife says he's your patient.

KRISTEN: Dr. Lincoln.

Oh, hey.

Simon Clark, ,

status post synovial sarcoma
resection four years ago,

has been undergoing chemoradiation

for recurrent lung mets.

I got this one, Helm.

[SIGHS]

Thought I told you to take it easy.

Mm, so no k next month?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

KRISTEN: This morning
I found him in the nursery

barely able to breathe.

He's nauseous, can't eat.

I think it's his chemo,
but he was adamant

about trying to finish
putting together the crib.

Would you let your mother-in-law
build your kid's crib?

I'msupposed to build the crib.

- [CHUCKLES]
- It's your job to stay alive, Simon.

That's your job.

Okay, we'll get you some scans,
we'll see what's going on,

and we'll make you comfortable
while we admit you.

And no one will build
any more furniture.

Deal?

Deal.

Deal.

[MEDICAL DEVICE WHIRRING]

Any heart palpitations or night sweats?

- Night sweats.
- Open your eye.

You've been having night sweats?

Oh, no, no. Just, uh...
it just makes a funny sound.

Night s-s-s-s-sweats.

Ni-i-ght swe-e-e-e-e-ats.

Okay, when's the last time

you had a heavy metal screening?

Mm, heavy metal.

Thank you, Detroit!

[CHUCKLES]

I need you to be very honest

- with me right now.
- Okay.

I know you're under

- an immense amount of pressure.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Have you started drinking again?

[LAUGHS]

- Nah. Not in ten years.
- [DEVICE BEEPS]

Uh, the only thing I had to drink today

was some, uh... some juice.

Though it did have a bit of a kick.

You know, Catherine's been
buying this, um, boota stuff.

Kamtucha. Komrumba...
Now that'sa funny sound.

Kombucha?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.

Kombucha has alcohol content.

No.

It does.

[SIGHS]

No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

♪

Richard. This is not Kombucha.

It's cannabis.

It's what now?

You're stoned.

[LAUGHS]

♪

Now, that is really very
not at all f-funny.

[CHUCKLES]

- MAGGIE: What am I looking at?
- Margot Talbert, ,

complains of throbbing abdominal pain

that radiates to the back.

Aah! I feel like someone is inside me

and trying to claw her way out.

Okay, ma'am, when did the pain start?

Uh, this morning.
Woke up, took one sip of coffee.

And boom... doubled over.
Agonizing pain.

She's nauseous, sweaty, dizzy, and...

- Wow.
- Yeah.

Alright, well, we'll order
a CT scan, get some labs.

Can you take some deep breaths for me?

Is there anyone you want us to call?

No. No one.

Okay. Well, we will see you
upstairs soon.

You left early this morning.

Yeah, I went for a jog.

I had breakfast with your brother.

I did not know that he had
majored in anthropology.

Wendell didn't go to college, Maggie.

He just talks a good game.

I have rounds, I'll see you in CT.

Ohhh! I can't be stoned, Meredith.

I-I-I don't know
if you know this, but...

[WHISPERING] I don't drink. Or do dr*gs.

I know that. It's okay.

- You did not mean to get stoned.
- Ohh, ohh.

It was an accident.

Why is there even drug juice
in my fridge?

Well, that doesn't matter right now.

I have to call Catherine
to come and get you

because I have a surgery.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No.
No, no, no. No, no, no.

You can't call Catherine, okay?

She has to save the program.

And Ihave to save the prog...

I know, I just...

Where are you going? No.

- Huh?
- You can't leave.

Let's go sit down, please.

Come on, come on.

I'm going to get you some water.

Okay, okay. Mm-hmm.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- [GROANS]
- Drink that.

Oh, Bailey's gonna be so mad at me.

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- And I'm still mad at you.

- Get in line.
- [KNOCKING CONTINUES]

What do you need?

I'm on your service.

Uh, Nurse Karen told me
that you were in here, so...

Oh, you're not on my service.

You're on Nick Marsh's service.

Who is Nick Marsh?

Nick Marsh is taking my cases.

Page him, and tell him
that you are on hisservice.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Oh, Schmitt.

You didn't see me in here, okay?

Okay.

Is this a really big fish

or a re-e-ally little bear?

Four years ago, he came in as a newlywed

with stage two
synovial sarcoma of the knee.

And we tried every treatment possible

while they tried to start a family.

But between the chemo,
radiation, and surgery,

it took them until eight months
ago to conceive.

He made me promise

he'd be here long enough
to meet his kid.

Okay, well, do you think the, uh...

the symptoms are chemo-related?

- I hope so.
- [BEEPS]

Link, if you don't want to
watch Luna anymore, I get it.

I didn't say that.

Okay, well, earlier, when
I asked, you kind of snapped.

Because I was asking you if
you wanted to hang out with me

and you asked me to babysit.

Oh God. Okay, I... [SIGHS] I'm sorry.

I didn't realize that that's...
that's what you...

- It's fine, Jo.
- Oh.

It's... It's fine.

[SIGHS]

- Crap.
- Mass in the ileum.

Wow. It's almost...

Obstructing his small bowel.

I'm so sorry.

God. [SIGHS]

How am I gonna tell him
it's progressing even faster?

We just do it. Or I do it.

He's my patient.

Um, not today.

Small intestine. General surgery.

Let me try to resect the tumor
at the bowel segment,

buy him some more time.

And you can scrub in,

be an extra pair of hands
if there's heavy bleeding.

Come on. It'll be like
we're hanging out.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hello?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Okay, I know you blame me...

I do not blame you, I do not know you.

Y-You think I'm taking Meredith away,

which i-it's perfectly understandable.

Meredith is an adult woman,

no one can take her away,

it would be ridiculous of me
to think that.

So then why are you being
so hostile to me right now?

Oh, you think I'm being hostile?

Frankly, yes.

I'm so sorry, Dr. Marsh.

Uh, welcome to Grey-Sloan.

I am so grateful to you
for taking pity on me

and offering to help us out
for the next few months

before leaving again.

Okay.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I know you've told your staff
you're hiring locum tenens.

I'm locum tenens. I'm what you need.

I'm a transplant guy.

I'm also a general surgeon,

so I can help bring others in
and help with your caseload.

I need more than just surgeons,
I need surgeons who can teach.

Hello! Jordan Wright was my
student, and you stole him.

Well, you can have him back,
I put in the transfer papers.

I know, because your
residency program is failing.

I want to help. I do.

I want to help you.
I want to help this program.

Even though, funny thing,
Grey-Sloan rejected me

back in the day, and now so are you.

Look, I-I'm gonna be in Seattle
for the next few months anyway,

so if you say no, I'm just gonna
spend my days hiking and fishing

instead of helping you
with your never-ending list

of appys and choles.

I hope he has your smile.

And your laugh.

[CHUCKLES]

And your snaggletooth.

[GASPS] I don't have a snaggletooth.

Ah, don't you?

[LAUGHS]

Mm.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Hit us, Link.

Don't sugar coat it.

We found a new met.

No.

- Sweetheart, let him finish.
- No.

It's in the small intestine.

It's causing a blockage,

which explains your nausea and pain.

We recommend resecting the tumor

to relieve the obstruction.

I'm only weeks.
That's two more months.

He has to meet his son.
I need that, Dr. Lincoln.

- I need that.
- Kristen, I know it's been a long road.

But the road is not ending.

We're going to take care
of this met today,

- [SNIFFLES]
- ...and we'll go from there.

- Hey, I'm here, Kris.
- [CRYING]

Look. Kris, I'm here.

I'm here right now. Okay?

Hello forever.

Hello forever?

It's a thing we say to each other.

I remember.

Hello forever.

Hello forever.

Hello forever.

Hello forever.

Hello forever.

[SIGHS]

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Hidari to cardiology.
Dr. Hidari to cardiology.

- Dr. Marsh?
- Yeah?

Uh, Schmitt, right?

Dr. Grey sent me. I'm on your service.

I-I don't have a service.

Bailey literally
just granted me privileges.

Begrudgingly.

Well, Dr. Grey needs you
to take over her caseload, so...

Why? Where is she?

Um... [SIGHS]

What is this? Is this
s-some sort of hazing thing?

- What's the deal?
- I-I...

I'm not supposed to tell you,

you just need to take her surgeries.

Schmitt. Where's Meredith?

I am not at liberty to say.

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

Okay. Fine, let's go.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

MAGGIE: So, have you had
a chance to, uh,

test the new batch of heart patches?

Are they viable enough for Wendell to...

- [DOOR OPENS]
- To get off our couch?

Winston, I don't have a problem

with Wendell staying with us.

MARGOT: Just to double check,

you're not calling anyone, right?

No, not unless you want us to.

No! No, my wife will freak out.

Margot, you should call your wife.

Y-You might... I said no!

Please, do not call her.

[MONITOR BEEPS]

Scans are up.

- [MONITOR BEEPING]
- [SIGHS]

Yep. Abdominal aortic aneurysm.

Helm, book an OR.

Margot, we're going to have to
take you up to surgery.

Surgery? Are you sure?

Yes. Very sure.

Which means we definitely
need to call your wife.

I said no! Please.

She thinks I already took care of this.

I've been having abdominal pain
the last couple months

and she kept nagging me
to get it looked at,

but my work had been crazy,
so a few weeks ago

I told her I went to urgent care
and they said it was just IBS.

Margot, you told us
this pain started today.

I know, I lied.

So if I tell her now that I lied,

and it's way worse,
she's gonna be so pissed.

- One, two, three.
- [GRUNTS]

What if you die?

Winston.

Well, then she'll be really mad.

But Iwon't have to tell her.

You will.

♪

♪ It had to be you, pretty baby ♪

♪ It had to be you ♪

That's not the words.

♪ Had to be you-u-u-u-u ♪

[CHUCKLES]

It's that Nick character.

That's why you're leaving.

Maybe he could fall in love
with the city.

I mean, we have trees,
and we have an ocean.

We have ferryboats.

Whoo-whoo.

The ferryboats might be
one of the reasons

why I need to, you know...

Seattle's just...

Haunted.

Because everywhere you look
there's a memory.

A memory of people
who aren't here anymore.

I get it.

That's how I felt when Ellis d*ed.

You mean Adele.

No.

♪

We need to start teaching.

They said they'd shut down
the program if we didn't teach.

That's what we're gonna do. Okay.

Okay, but, no, no, no, no.

They will shut down your career

if you go out there like that.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Let's sit down.

What about if I go get you some snacks?

I'll be back.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- Had to be you.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CELLPHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING]

[LINE RINGING]

♪

Hey. Sorry, I was finishing up...

...a laminectomy when you paged.

Okay, so, motorcycle versus pedestrian.

Several fractured ribs, a scalp lac,

depressed skull fracture,

sluggish light reflex on the left.

They're taking him up to ICU now.

Yeah.

Yeah, that looks like
a small subdural hematoma.

Alright, so burr holes or craniotomy?

Mm, neither. Least not yet.

Let's just watch him
with q hour neurochecks.

Y-You just want to wait and see? Yeah.

I mean, even though there's
something that you can do

to address the situation?

I mean, even though there's
actual steps that you could take

to understand
a-and make yourself feel better

about the situation

and... and the person involved?

Y-You just want to stay in limbo?

How's family therapy going?

Well, we're... [SIGHS]

We're supposed to follow Leo's lead.

But he's... he's four.
He could lead us to Candyland.

You know what I mean.

I just... we're... we're his parents,

and this huge thing happened,

and we're reading the books
and the blogs

and educating ourselves.

And I feel like I'm...
I'm ready to take the next step

to help him on his journey.

And I-I know, I know that...
thank you...

it's Leo's journey, but I...

I like direction and answers
and... and knowing what to say.

I-I met someone in Minnesota.

And this story about me
does have a point.

Um, their name is Kai.

And they are non-binary,
and since I've been with them,

I have felt opened up
in a way I never imagined.

Things and people don't need
to be constantly defined

in order to be loved unconditionally.

And since I started viewing
the world that way,

I've never felt more like myself.

I'm really happy for you.

♪

[SIGHS]

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Dr. Marsh, I just gave you privileges.

I did not say you could take over

your girlfriend's caseload.

Do you mean Chief of General
Surgery, Dr. Grey?

Yes, and I doubt
this patient came here...

This patient came here for care.
I'm giving him care.

Would you like to revoke my privileges?

Blood in the field.

- BAILEY: Dr. Marsh.
- NICK: I see it.

[SIGHS] God. The liver is bleeding.

It's okay. Just cauterize
the area and breathe, Schmitt.

Do not just breathe. Fix it.

Come on. Suction.

Last time this happened,
my patient d*ed.

Well, don't think about the last time.
That's an old story.

Only think about
what's right in front of you.

Schmitt, write a new story.

- Breathe.
- Schmitt, you need to...

Shut up. Chief Bailey,
respectfully, please, quiet.

Schmitt, I want you
to control the bleeding.

♪

[SIGHS] Turn up the Bovie.

Good.

[SIGHS]

Good.

Good. Let's check hemostasis.

Looks good. You're doing great.

Anything else you'd like to do?

I think an omental patch
on top to just be sure.

I think that sounds like a great idea.

Okay. Now you've stopped the bleeding.

I wrote a new story.

[SUCTION GURGLING]

Yes, you did.

RICHARD: You wrote a new story.

Dr. Webber.

Richard, what are you doing up here?

I figured it out, Meredith.

We have to rewrite the story.

- That sounds amazing.
- Yeah.

- Let's go.
- Oh.

- Uh.
- You didn't see us.

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

Pickups.

Thank you.

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

If I don't make it...

Uh, not gonna happen, Simon. Okay?

I believe you, man.

I believe you and I believe in you,

but also, you are not God.

I know you have
a Roman god-like profile...

- [LAUGHS]
- ...but you are not God.

And sometimes bad things happen.

And if I don't make it,
I need you to tell Kristen

she's not allowed to name him after me.

Simon cannot be his first name

and it cannot be his middle name

and I need you to convince her.

I want my kid's life to be joyful.

And if she names him after me,
his life will not be joyful

because every time she calls
his name, she's gonna get sad.

And I need you to convince her
that I'm right.

I'll do what I have to do, Simon, okay?

But my strong preference is
that you survive this surgery.

So I'm gonna need you
to get your head in the game.

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Okay?

- You got it. Yeah.
- I'm serious.

Now, lay back. Okay.

You close your eyes,

and you think about waking up
and meeting your kid, okay?

♪

MAGGIE: Okay, so we're going to
put this mask on you,

and you're going to
count backward from ten.

Just so you know, we are obligated
to call an emergency contact.

So we will be calling your wife.

- What? No.
- That is not entirely true.

We cannot discharge her by herself.

Why don't we just repair
the aneurysm first?

If my wife finds out I lied...

Then maybe you shouldn't have lied.

Dr. Ndugu, why don't you go scrub?

I've got this.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Her pressure's bottomed out.

- Call her.
- Intubate now! Gown me.

Her aneurysm might have ruptured.

We need to open her up now!

Prep the abdomen fast!

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

♪

[SIGHS] Well, at least
my eyes aren't dry anymore.

That stuff was awful.

I think I used to like it
back in the day.

Yeah, well,
the weed is a lot stronger now

than it was back in the day.

I can't tell you the amount
of kids I see come in the ER

with full psychotic breaks
just from smoking weed.

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Mm.

[DOOR OPENS]

What took you so long?

I was listening to Bailey rant
about our collective failure

and "your boyfriend getting to go rogue

because he's with Meredith Grey."

Her words, not mine.

Okay, well, I'll go take care of that.

Just keep an eye on him.

- I can hear you.
- You stay hydrated.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- [SIGHS]

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- How are you feeling?

Like I just threw a decade
of sobriety in the garbage.

You know, I didn't even know

that marijuana came in a liquid form.

And I still don't know why
it was in my home.

I mean, Catherine likes her martinis

but she's not a pothead.

She wouldn't do that to me.
Tempt me like that.

Make me lose ten years.

If you can honestly say that
you did not intend to get high,

and you don't intend to do it again,

you shouldn't...

you shouldn't change your sobriety date.

I mean, you earned those ten years,

and accidents happen.

[CRUNCHING]

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, on a positive note,

I think I had an epiphany
on how to reinvent the program.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Or at least improve it.

Addison said something to me.

Medicine has always been about the data,

okay, the wins versus the losses

instead of the people.

Yeah, and it worked.

Hell, it worked well,

but it wiped out the... the humanity.

Our residents forget they're people

and that they're helping other people.

So we have to rewrite that story.

Make sure that they don't lose
or forget the...

- the best part of themselves.
- Mm.

That they can be whole individuals

that blossom and... and grow with...

with empathy and...
and... and knowledge.

Look, now, I know we can't
improve the program overnight.

But it's like planting a tree, okay?

I mean, you prepare the ground

and you... you nurture the seed,

but the tree that grows
will outlive you,

whether or not you're there
to see it at all.

[GROANS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Are you still high?

Little bit.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[SUCTION GURGLING]

Oh, no.

It's wrapped around
the vascular structures.

I see it.

[SIGHS]

Okay, everyone, change of plan.

We're gonna divert the bowel,
buy him a little more time,

- make him more comfortable.
- No, no.

Hold on, you're not gonna
resect any of it?

It's too dangerous. He could bleed out.

So... So he's just supposed to
live with this in his bowel?

I didn't put the tumor in there, Link.

So you're just gonna close him
up with a stool bag and that's it?

The other option is I close him
without doing anything.

He's dying, Link.

This will help him with his pain.

He'll live a better life,

even if it's just for a few weeks.

He wants to meet his son.

Okay. Let's prep for an ileostomy.

[MEDICAL EQUIPMENT WHIRRING]

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

Almost done with the distal anastomosis.

Pledgets.

[SUCTION GURGLING]

[MONITOR BEEPING]

You can't talk to patients like that,

no matter how ridiculous they're being.

I know.

It's not enough that you know.
You ruptured her and...

I did not rupture it. It ruptured.

You picked a fight, and you delayed...

I didn't rupture it.
She waited for weeks.

She lied about her pain for weeks.

And it ruptured. That is not my fault.

Helm, why don't you get ready to close?

Dr. Ndugu, you can go.

- Maggie.
- You can go.

♪

[TOOLS CLANGING]

♪

I stayed.

I said yes to helping, yes to working,

and you still can't be happy.

You have to t*rture a doctor

who volunteered to be here to help.

Why did I stay?

What do you want?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

This program is failing.

I feel like I'm failing.

The first female chief, and it's on her.

You know, it's always on her.

The woman who was given a chance
after a string of messy men.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I don't know what I want.

I just feel helpless.

Because it is all out of my control.

A devastating pandemic wiped out
millions of people's lives.

I-It... It wiped out generations
of doctors and nurses,

physically, emotionally.

And how... how was I
supposed to handle that?

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

I do need help.

And I am thankful to you for staying.

And t-to Nick for coming.

But I just...

I'm not sure if that's enough.

- We can figure all of this out.
- Mnh-mnh.

And I'm sorry for the way you found out.

Hamilton should not have
told Richard anything.

The reason why I didn't say anything

is because I hadn't made any decision.

Well, thank you.

And I'm sorry

for calling you "that girl."

[BREATHES SHARPLY] I...

Mnh.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

If Marsh has taken over your surgeries,

w-where have you been all day?

With Richard.

He got stoned, accidentally.

- I know.
- My God.

Just when I think this place
can't top itself.

[SIGHS]

Thank you, Grey.

And Marsh seems like a...

wonderful... teacher.

He is.

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]

How long?

Please tell me how long
my husband has to live.

We still have to do staging,

but from the information that we have,

maybe a month at most.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[VOICE BREAKING] His whole life,

Simon always wanted to be a dad.

He wanted to be the best dad.

And I wanted to give him that.

We need to take the baby out now.

I need a C-section.

- It's too early.
- Simon needs to meet his son.

Kristen, I think...

I need to talk to an OB, please.

Um, I am an OB.

I am a general surgeon.
But I'm also an OB.

- It is too early.
- No.

Kristen, we cannot risk taking...

I'll talk to Dr. DeLuca.

Okay, Kristen?

Dr. Wilson is an OB resident.
She's a student.

Dr. DeLuca's her teacher.

I'll check with her, okay?

Thank you.

Excuse me.

[PEN CLICKS]

- [SIGHS]
- I know you're hurting right now

so I'm keeping my voice quiet,
but that was really not...

That was the truth, Jo.
I told her the truth.

You're a first year resident.

You have to stick to the rules.
Maybe Carina DeLuca won't.

Page me when DeLuca gets that.

You're too angry
to do anything right now,

to talk to anybody right now.

You need to go smash
some tires with a bat

or a bowl or something.

Just get it all out of your body.

- I don't need your advice.
- You really do. I know you best.

- You're in no shape for...
- You're a user, Jo.

You used me.
So I don't need your advice.

You're angry and you're hurting

and you lash out when
you're hurting and I can take it.

But if you want to fight
someone, fight me.

Don't go to my boss and ask
for a medically unsound C-section

- because you're feeling emotional.
- You used me for sex.

Which was fun so I could roll with it.

But then you kicked me out
which was less fun.

And now you have Todd

so you want me to sleep over with Luna

any time you have a date.

Which... Yeah, which might be okay

if you ever wanted to just hang with me,

but you don't.

Which means I'm being used.

You know, and I could roll
with that because you and I,

we go way back
and everybody's awful sometimes.

But now you want to talk to me
like we're besties.

Like we hang out all the time

and you know me better than anybody else

so I should listen to you
instead of doing

everything I possibly can
to help my patient.

That I cannot roll with!

I cannot make an exception for that.

So please get out of my way

so I can do my damn job.

I fell in love with you.

[SCOFFS]

- [SIGHS]
- I wasn't using you.

I had feelings.

I developed feelings.

And I thought that you might, too.

But you didn't.

So I asked you to move out

because I wanted to protect
our friendship.

And you didn't think that...

[SIGHS]

...mentioning this to me...

You're right. It was wrong of me not to.

But in case you haven't realized,

I'm not a perfect person.

I'm a person who is doing
the best I can.

But I'm also a person
who cannot lose you.

And I am a person with enough
education in obstetrics

to know that at weeks,

a baby's lungs are not fully formed.

And if we take him out prematurely

then Kristen runs the risk

of losing both her husband and her baby.

And I know you well enough to know

that you can't live with that.

[SIGHS]

♪

[SIGHS]

MAGGIE: So, we were able
to repair the aneurysm.

Looks like she was in pain
for quite some time.

I kept telling her to go to the doctor.

Well, it's not easy

for some people
to take care of themselves.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Thank you for calling me.

She really didn't want us to.

Well, she obviously doesn't know
what's good for her.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN DISTANCE]

Speaking to you as your boss
andyour wife in this moment,

there's no compartmentalizing,

so you need to tell me
what the hell is going on!

[LOWERED VOICE] I feel like
I don't know who I married.

Winston, ever since
your brother got here...

you don't talk to me.

And now you're not talking to him.

The tension in our home
is raising my blood pressure.

And then today, you seriously
messed with one of my patients.

You're not yourself
and I need to know why.

Come with me.

[SIGHS]

When... When I was ,
we were going out with friends

and Wendell asked me to pick him
up at the mall with his buddy.

And so I'm sitting in the car
waiting for him

and they both jump in the back seat

and tell me to drive off
as fast as I can.

And I did it because he's my brother.

And so I did what he said.

Then the cops pull us over.

And there's stolen goods in the car

and I'm behind the wheel.

I'm the getaway driver.

I got arrested.

I had to see a probation officer
for four months.

But Wendell talked his way out of it.

He let me take the whole rap.

Everything is like this with him.

And he comes around and I'm just...

I'm... I'm, like...
I'm right back there.

I'm right back to grade school

when he would trick kids
into giving him lunch money.

And our dad would find out about it

and he would take a belt to both of us

and keep the money.

His patches don't work.
Just another one of his scams.

Which he spent ten grand on.

And now he wants me to lie
and say that they're amazing.

And... And try to get Bailey
to place an order.

- Yeah, well, you can't do that.
- I know. But that's what he does.

He gets in my head and he confuses me

and the next thing I know
I'm yelling at patients.

And I'm lying to my wife.

I told you when he got here.
I told you he would ruin us.

I told you he would just take

any good thing that I got going

because that's all he ever does.

I'm the sucker who just
convinces myself over and over

that somehow it's gonna be
better this time.

That's who you married.

I know I should have told you
about the patches,

but he just...

like, he makes me a liar like him.

And I just need a night to...

I need thisnight, Maggie,
to talk to him.

You know, just loudly and alone.

♪ They wanted you
to stay where you are ♪

Could you give me that?

And I will...

We will be okay.

♪ All the time ♪

Because I love you.

♪ Every... ♪

So I will make sure of it.

♪ ...night ♪

♪ You say another prayer... ♪

I'll stay with my sisters.

♪ ...there's a heaven ♪

♪ I say it's anywhere you're forgiven ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ I think it's time ♪

♪ To let it go ♪

[SIMON WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

♪

Hello forever.

Hello forever.

♪ Now all your second chances
feel like thirds ♪

♪ You wonder what you wanted ♪

Did they tell you?

Tell me what?

You have to live long enough
to meet your son.

And they won't take him out
for a few more weeks.

♪ All the time Okay. ♪

Swear to God, Simon,
if you don't meet your son,

I'm gonna name him Simon Simon.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ I think it's time ♪

♪ To let it go ♪

Feces in the ceiling?

- What?
- What happened?

Feces in the ceiling.

That's the smell,
in case you were wondering.

Some creature with fangs
and a tail and fur

crawled up into the ceiling.

I'm not working back in that
office again, no. Unh-unh.

You don't have to say anymore.

Typical of this place.

- Um, Chief.
- What?

Oh, what?

[SIGHS]

I just wanted to say thank you.

For letting me come back.

Today was difficult.
But it made me remember

why I wanted to be a surgeon
in the first place.

So just... thank you.

- Thank you,
- Schmitt.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Bye.

MEREDITH: Some will argue
that it's experience

that helps a parent see
that their child's stomach ache

is more than the flu.

Let's get out of here.
Come on, sweetie, come on.

Or that it's experience
when a surgeon knows

to look further
during a routine lap appy

to diagnose a larger problem.

Hey, hey, little buddies.

Who wants ice cream?

Me!

Okay, do you want,
uh, mint chocolate chip

or cookies and cream or a combo?

Um...

You don't have to decide
right now, honey.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Okay.

♪ Coming home with your song
in my heart ♪

Hey, hey. I, uh...

I know it's your night
with Scout, but I...

I could really use
some Scout time right now.

Um, you guys go ahead.

- Okay. Bye.
- Yeah.

Is everything okay?

Not really.

- Okay, yeah.
- Ah.

♪ Restless wolves cry out in the cold ♪

Hey, buddy.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Did you have the best day ever?

Huh?

[MOUTHING WORDS]

It's not an experience.
It's a feeling. Instinct.

It's our brains being innately
connected to our bodies.

[SIGHS] Hey.

Hey, can I crash at your place tonight?

Yeah, of course.

Is everything okay?

Not really.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

♪

♪ Da da da dum ♪

The hard part is trusting
what our bodies are saying.

Thank you both.

You saved my ass today.

- In more ways than one.
- [CHUCKLES]

Well, based on what I've heard
about this place,

it was a very fitting first day.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm sorry, but I had to.

♪ Coming home
with your song in my heart ♪

Good night.

Catherine.

♪ Coming home with your song
in my heart ♪

Richard, I am so sorry.

Catherine, what the hell
were you thinking

bringing that into our house?

You know how important my sobriety is.

And since when do you get stoned?

♪

It's for my pain.

♪ Coming home
with your song in my heart ♪

My cancer has progressed, baby.

What?

♪

♪ Da da da dum ♪

And hoping like hell we get it right.

♪

♪

♪

♪