07x05 - Fight at the Museum

[bunniefuu]

[ birds chirping ]

[ indistinct talking ]

Ben: Wow, I didn't think a museum exhibit could be so popular,

Rook: It is the first time

alien objects have even been on display for the human populace,

Ben: Eh, big whoop, You've seen one trans-portal crystalic-whatsis,

you've seen them all,

Let's just find Ester and grab some lunch,

[ indistinct talking ]

[ beeping ]

Well, hello, there,

I'm Artie the Artifact,

Did you know that aliens visited the earth thousands of years ago?

It's true, And just like modern humans, they left a lot of stuff lying

around wherever they went,

Ben: So,,,this is,,,fun,

Ben! Oh, I'm so glad you're here!

Rook: Thank you for the invitation,

[ sloop! ]

This should be fascinating!

And Rook, I,,, didn't expect to see you here,

[ sloop! ]

Rook: Ben invited me,

Ben: Yeah, Rook loves stuff like this,

Rook: This should be a very enjoyable afternoon,

Yes, I'm sure the three of us will have a great time,

Ben: Dude, do you think this was supposed to be a date?

Rook: Oh, I,,,could not possibly say,

Your human customs are a mystery to me,

Ben: It can't be!

I mean, who would bring a date to some boring, old museum?

That I am,,, so excited to be in! Here,

Hey, what's he saying? Wow,

Benatu, chanitah ka pe' leikee meno nanoo,

[ beep ]

,,,were discovered by Dr, Wesley Green and his grandfather Kai,

[ electronic whirring ]

Ben: Man, these holograms are pretty advanced,

[ poink! ]

Uh, hey!

Kai? What are you doing here?

Didn't you get my e-mail?

Ben: Oh, yeah,

I stopped reading as soon as I saw the word "museum,"

[ sloop! ]

That is a pretty big word for you,

Well, since you're all here, let me give you a V,I,P, tour,

Ben, you might actually learn something,

Good, It's still here,

♪ Ben ♪

♪ He's a kid, and he wants to have fun ♪

♪ But when you need a superhero, he gets the job done ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ With a device that he wears on his arm ♪

♪ He can change his shape and save the world from harm ♪

♪ When trouble's taking place ♪

♪ He gets right in its face ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ When lives are on the line ♪

♪ It's hero time ♪ ♪ Ben ♪

After retiring from the plumbers, my grandfather wanted

to find new ways of bringing together civilizations

throughout the universe,

But rather than using a badge,

he wanted to use knowledge,

We believe that through such

ancient objects, we can find the links that connect us all and

even answer the ultimate question,

Why are we here?

Ben: Because you invited us,

Huh, history paints a cooler picture of you, Ben,

The Orb of Pumapunku is very special to me,

It's the first artifact that my grandfather and I found together,

It's a solid sphere of unknown material,

Ben: So,,,it's a ball?

A , -year-old ball

inscribed in an alien language no one can decipher,

Whoa! Clearly, the symbols are indicative of the Nazca lines of Peru,

Miss, what do you think?

I think you better get your

greasy nose off of the display case before a security laser

slices your lips off!

[ gasps ]

If you'll follow me, over

here is a classic example of early detrovite cutlery,

[ indistinct talking ]

Sorry, orb, This takes top priority,

[ electronic whirring ]

Subdora: [ Italian accent ] It's like taking candy from a d'tetramand,

Unlike humans, whose eating

implements evolved from simple twigs into forks, knives, and

chopsticks, ancient detrovites used these energy-manipulation

tools to break down their food,

These three implements here are older than our own solar system,

Ben: Aliens have old stuff?

I thought aliens only had future stuff,

Both: Yes, Ben,

Aliens have old stuff just like humans,

That's the point of the exhibit -- to show how we are similar,

I can't believe I even asked you to come,

Ben: What did I do?

Agh, you have got to be kidding me!

[ indistinct talking ]

[ air whooshing ]

Ben: If this is a museum, where's the dinosaurs?

The dinosaurs were moved into storage to make room for this exhibit,

Ben: Aw, why would they take away dinosaurs for all this old junk?

[ indistinct talking ]

[ sighs ] Take it easy, Spanner,

Remember who he is,

[ air whooshing ]

[ alarm blaring ]

Subdora: Errore,

Ben: What's that?

Someone's trying to steal the orb!

The ball!

Ben: Oh!

My orb! [ blaring continues ]

Ben: They can't have gotten far,

Jimmy, contact security,

Have them lock down the exits,

[ blaring continues ]

Kai, check the air ducts,

Rook, saddle up,

It's hero time!

Rook: Right! What does a horse have to do with this?

[ beeping ]

Wildmutt: [ roars ]

[ roars ]

[ growling ]

[ screeches ]

[ indistinct shouting ]

What is he chasing?!

Wildmutt: [ roars ]

[ air whooshes ]

[ metal creaks ]

My exhibit!

[ grunts ]

[ metal creaks, thuds ]

Thank you, My pleasure,

Wildmutt: [ growling ]

[ grunts ]

Wildmutt: [ roars ]

[ growling ]

Subdora: [ sighs ] When was the last time you

brushed your teeth, eh?

Wildmutt: [ roars ]

Ben: Huh? Agh!

Ohh! [ gasps ]

Subdora: Ah, she who perseveres wins at last,

I'm pretty sure security is over here,

Oh, hey, Ben,

Ben: Jimmy, quick, turn into Spanner and give me a hand here!

What are you talking about?

Ben: Now's not the time to be modest! Do your thing!

Sure, you want me to hack something?

Subdora: This is who you pal around with?

How am I losing to you?

[ door opens ]

Ben: [ gasps ]

Get off of my friend! [ grunts ]

[ gasps ]

Ben: Wait!

But you -- and he -- how -- I -- what?!

Grab the orb!

Unh!

[ grunts ] [ air whooshing ]

[ grunts ]

Ben: Uh, thanks?

My pleasure, d-- uh, Ben,

You saved it!

Ben: Uh, uh, he actually did the saving,

Uh, this is Spanner,

He's,,,some,,,guy,

But a good guy -- I think,

Well, thank you, Spanner,

Uh, uh, uh, okay, okay, okay,

[ chuckles nervously ]

Exo-Skull: [ grunting ] Aw, come on!

[ snorts ] How do they expect you to play with these teensy buttons?

[ video game sounds ]

Subdora: [ sighs ]

Exo-Skull: Ah, subdora,

Did you get the thing?

Subdora: Did I get the thing?

No, exo-skull, I did not get the thing!

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ] Well, what happened?!

Subdora: I floated like the mountain breeze over the velvet ropes,

I danced through the sensors with a fluid grace,

Then Tennyson turns into a big dog and jumps on me!

Exo-Skull: [ growls ] Tennyson was there?!

[ growls ] I'm telling you, we should skip the fancy stuff and go straight smash and grab!

Subdora: Oh, so vulgar!

Burglary -- she's an art, dear boy, a ballet, a romance, and a

game of chess all in one,

And I -- I am the prima virtuosa!

Exo-Skull: And if we don't deliver, Miss Virtuosa, the boss is gonna have both our hides!

[ snorts ] Smash and grab!

You have no soul!

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ]

[ both smooching ]

So, this is the museum's high-security rooms -- bars on the windows, pressure plates in

the subfloor, laser perimeter,

and a*t*matic security doors on all exits,

My grandfather spent a lifetime collecting these artifacts,

If somebody's after them, I'm not taking any chances,

Ben: [ grunts ] Whew!

Well [sighs] now that they're safe, we should get going,

I want to get to burger shack before it closes,

I am starving!

Ben, I was kind of hoping you and Rook

could spend the night here just in case there's more trouble,

Ben: Kai! Come on!

Well, I'm going to stay, and I'd feel better if I had some backup,

Wait, so just you and them -- alone -- in here -- all night?! Alone?

Ben: Look, Kai, I'm sorry,

but --

Ben! Could I,,, talk to for a sec?

Shouldn't you be a little -- I don't know -- nicer to Kai?

Ben: Nicer? Dude, I've known her since I was ,

The girl is a pain,

Always has been and probably always will be,

Plus, I think maybe I'm supposed to be on a date,

But you're supposed to be with Kai!

Ben: What?!

Okay, now I know you're one taco short of a combo plate,

Listen to me, I,,, you two are destined to be together!

Ben: Wow, And I thought Rook gave lousy dating advice,

Okay, okay, Uh, what about the artifacts?

Trust me, they're more important than you can imagine, especially the orb,

You and Rook have to protect them!

Ben: [ grunts ] Fine! We'll stay for the artifacts,

Rook will probably go all plumber-y about keeping this

junk out of criminal hands anyway,

Rook: Ben, I believe it is my duty as a plumber to keep these

artifacts out of criminal hands,

Ben: See? Okay, Rook and I will stay,

And Spanner, too, I guess,

Then I will,,,stay, too, to keep you company,

Ben: Ester, you don't have to do that,

Oh, I think I do,

[ tink! ]

[ beeping ]

[ beeping ]

This is bad, I've got to fix this,

I've really got to fix this,

Rook: I could not get into the snack bar, so I purchased

these from the vending machines,

[ beep, alarm blares ]

Ben: Kelp krunchies?

Barbecue-styled mini rick cakes?

Dude, couldn't you find any food?

Rook: I am sorry, Ben, but apparently humans are making

healthier choices, and there is

hardly any off-world food at all,

Ooh, dibs on the spicy, deep-fried tentacles!

Ben, Kai, there's some wasabi quinoa puffs!

Ben: Gross! I'll pass,

But you guys eat those together all the time!

Together? What are you talking about?

Ben: U-us guys in,,,bellwood,

They're really popular around here,

People eat them together all the time,

Not me, though, [ chuckles nervously ] Weirdo Ben,

But I'm not from Bellwood,

Ben: Well,,, Spanner didn't know that,

I mean, how could he, right?

[ chuckles nervously ] How could I, right??

I,,,guess,

Subdora: [ sighs ]

Ben: Hey, cheezie-oodles!

Ew, Ben, don't open those over here!

I don't want you getting that sticky dust all over the artifact,

Ben: [ sighs ] Okay, okay!

Is this far enough from your priceless alien junk?

Well, forgive me if I don't want my grandpa's life's work

covered in bright orange cheese powder!

Ben: [ grunts ]

[ grunting ]

[ sighs ] Come on!

[ grunts ]

Subdora: [ coughing ]

Ben: Huh?

Subdora: [ grunts ]

Ben: Rook!

Rook: On it!

Subdora: [ grunts ]

[ alarm blaring ]

The security door!

[ r*fle clicks ]

Ben: [ gasps ]

Spanner!

[ thud ]

Where's Ben?

He and Kai got,,,stuck in the room,

What?! Together?!

Alone?! Together?!

Rook: The thief!

Ben: Kai, open the door!

I can't! The whole point is to trap the thief inside!

Ben: So they only open from the outside?

Duh! Ben: [ grunting ] Okay,

[ beep ] No problem,

They haven't made a door yet that could hold humungousaur!

Walkatrout: Are you kidding me?! Aah!

[ grunting ]

Subdora: [ grunts ]

[ breathes heavily ] Perdiana! I'm a glow-in-the-dark!

[ grunting ]

This should slow them down,

Rook: [ grunts ]

Grab my shoulders,

[ grunts ] Let's see little miss archaeologist do that!

Walkatrout: [ grunting ]

[ omnitrix powers down ]

Ben: [ grunts ]

You could always try Blitzwolfer,

Ben: Don't,,,start,

Fine, I guess,,, it's hero time!

Ben: Great, I've already been robbed of my dignity, and now

you're stealing my catchphrase?!

[ grunts ] Ben: [ gasps ]

Are you coming, or do you want to sit there till morning?

Ben: Hang on, I'm thinking of an appropriately snarky reply,

We really don't have that kind of time,

We've lost her!

Subdora: Accidenti!

Now I've gotcha!

Ohh! [ gasps ]

She's stronger than she looks!

Subdora: Let go, you stretchy pest!

Oh!

Ohh!

[ sighs ]

Subdora: Cavolo!

[ electronic whirring ]

Rook: I am scanning in all wavelengths, but I do not see the thief,

Are you all right?!

Honestly, I'm wet, sore, and pretty cheesed off,

But I still have this,

Exo-Skull: [ grunts ]

Subdora: [ breathing heavily ]

Exo-Skull: What the heck happened to you?

Subdora: I got going sliding down and -- and the Tennyson goes a-poofa!

And I'm orange! [ coughs ]

and then running and a-chasing and a-sploosh!

[ exhales sharply ]

It-a was-a not-a good,

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ]

[ sighs ]

Subdora, sweetheart [snorts]

I support you unconditionally and respect your need for artistic expression,

But from now on,,,

we're gonna do this job my way!

[ shivering ]

I am freezing!

I cannot wait for this night to be over!

Oh, I don't know,

We prevented the orb from being stolen, and I've straightened out Ben's love life for good,

Rook: Really?

I did not think that was possible, except perhaps by

hypnosis or a brain transplant,

Trust me, Ben and Kai are the perfect couple,

They just didn't know it until I brought them closer together,

Ben: Will you get off of me?!

You're going the wrong way!

My sense of direction is never wrong!

The main hall is that way!

[ clattering ]

Ben: Agh! Unh!

The main hall, just like I said,

I,,,thought you meant the other main hall,

Ben: How could there be two main halls?!

You guys, come on! This is silly!

Both: Put a sock in it!

But you're supposed to be --

Ben: With her?!

Are you out of your mind?!

What could possibly make you think that we belong together?!

Because I'm from the future!

I came here from the future, where the two of you are together,

Well, this is slightly awkward,

Ben: Ester, I swear, she

isn't -- I mean, he doesn't --

Hey, at least she's not a space princess or a tennis pro,

Rook: Or a movie star,

Ben: Rook, not helping!

Spanner, tell her you're wrong or lying or,,,

something because there is no way --

Trust me, Tennyson, the feeling is mutual!

Ben: What's that supposed to mean?!

You're not even --

I'm sorry, but you have to believe me!

Rook: Everyone, quiet!

[ metal scrapping ] I hear something,

Is it the thief?

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ]

Okay, Tennyson, we're through playing around,

Hand over the shiny ball, and we can avoid any more senseless destruction,

"shiny ball"?!

Is that all it is to you, you big,,,grunt?!

Ben: Let me handle the banter, okay?

If you want the shiny ball,,,

[ beep ]

Shocksquatch: ,,,you got to go through me first, eh?!

Exo-Skull: [ laughs ]

[ snorts ] I was hoping you'd say that,

[ thud ]

Shocksquatch: Ohh!

Agh! [ sighs ]

Exo-Skull: [ laughs evilly ]

Shocksquatch: That's one for you, eh?!

Now it's my turn!

[ grunts ]

Exo-Skull: [ warbling ]

[ electricity crackling ] [ grunts, snorts ]

[ sighs ] Now you made me mad!

Rook: [ grunts ]

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ] Look out!

Agh! Agh!

Exo-Skull: Hand it over, stretch!

Ester, over here!

Subdora: [ grunts ]

[ grunts ] Ha, victory is --

Unh! Unh!

Exo-Skull: Hey! [ snorts ] Leave her alone!

[ omnitrix powers down ]

Ben: How do you stop a rhino from charging?

[ beep ]

Gravattack: It's Gravattack!

Exo-Skull: [ grunts ] Let go of me!

Rook: Aah!

Gravattack: Oh, great,

I can stop him from moving, but I can't stop him from sh**ting,

Ester, give me a hand with these!

[ beeping ]

[ whirring ]

Subdora: Ah, just as-a the boss man said!

Gravattack: Unh! Come on, Rook, slap the cuffs on him!

Rook: [ grunting ]

I cannot get close enough!

Exo-Skull: [ snorts ]

Okay, now!

Mi amore, I have -- unh!

[ both shout ]

Gravattack: [ laughing ] Oh, nice!

What the heck was that?

Oh, just something I threw together from old alien junk,

Rook: Come on!

[ omnitrix powers down ]

[ space engine revving ]

[ zip! ]

An e-class smuggling ship --

very fast and completely untraceable,

No! They have the orb!

Ben: Kai, I -- we're gonna get it back,

Grandpa Max will have every plumber in the galaxy looking for it,

Oh, come on, Ben! Those thieves could be anywhere in the universe!

We screwed up,

And now the orb is gone,,,

forever,

[ crying ]

I'm sorry, guys,

Someday you'll thank me for this,

[ gasps ]

but that's not,,,possible,

I never thought I'd see this again!

Oh, Ben!

Mission accomplished,

Mission accomplished, mio capo,

We stole-a the mechanism and-a

left Ben and his friends holding the empty box,

[ laughs evilly ]

Maltruant: [ chuckles evilly ]

They don't even realize that

they've lost the key to time itself,

[ lightning strikes ]

[ up-tempo music playing ]