04x04 - Return to Forever

[bunniefuu]

Good day.
Welcome to Undertown.

Uh, durin' the next two hours
or so, you're gonna see many

fascinating sights, uh,
alien wonders, and a universe

of great bargains in the
Undertown market stalls.

[tourists murmuring]
[camera shutter clicks]

[tires screech, tourists gasp]
Hey!

What in the name of Eibod ...
[g*n cocks, whirs]

[gasps]
Hi!

Hiya-hiya-hiya!
- This is a stick-up!

Hand over your valuables!
- Is this part of the tour?

Get a good sh*t, Walt.
[camera shutter clicks ]

This ain't no show.
Cough 'em up!

[all screaming]
[backup signal beeps]

[tires screech]
[vehicle door opens, closes]

Rook: Step away from
the vehicle and surrender.

Make us.
[sighs]

I knew you were gonna say that.
- Dirt!

Dirt! Dirt!
- Ben: That, not so much.

[beep] Rath: Let me tell ya
somethin', ya Undertown lowlifes!

Nobody gets to hold up tourists
as long as Rath is around!

Fry him!

Rook: Shall I repeat the
part about surrendering?

Rath: Don't waste your breath,
Rook Blonko, alien Plumber

partner and confidant who speaks
without using contractions!

[all scream]

[Omnitrix powers down]

Look what you did to my bus!

Ben: Oh, please. I've wrecked
way bigger stuff

than that.
- Once again, friends, we see

the danger in our very midst ...
not only from the uncataloged

aliens roaming above and below
the streets, but from the

Unsanctioned, violent, and
sadistic Ben Tennyson.

[audio fast-forwarding]

Whoa! Who are those guys?

♪ Ben ♪

♪ he's a kid,
and he wants to have fun ♪

♪ but when you need a superhero,
he gets the job done ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ with a device that he wears on his arm ♪

♪ he can change his shape and
save the world from harm ♪

♪ when trouble's taking place ♪
♪ he gets right in its face ♪

♪ Ben ♪

♪ when lives are on the line ♪
♪ it's hero time ♪

♪ Ben ♪

[knock on door] There's a
manicurist waiting to see you.

Make it quick.
I'm live in five minutes.

Hey, you're no manicurist!
- We meet again, Mr. Harrangue.

Jimmy Jones.
I was a guest on your show.

Not ringing a bell. Sorry.
But guests like you would

explain why my ratings are down
and I'm bleeding advertisers.

O...kay. Well, this
is a frame capture

from your show. Look ...
humanoids wearing metal.

I want to find out why they're there.

"Humanoids," huh?
That's an awful big word.

I'd like to see the original,
unedited video of that fight

in Undertown.
- Sure, kid.

$ , for seconds of footage.

What?! I recorded
seconds of it off TV?!

Then you owe me $ , .

I'll throw in the extra
five seconds for free.

Oh, come on!
Could I at least talk to the

cameraman who sh*t the footage?
- Get out, or I'll call

security! Unless you
actually can do nails.

[indistinct conversations]

[ringing]
It's me.

Listen, that kid with the alien blog?

He was here, and I think he's onto you.

Dr. Chadwick: Don't concern
yourself, Mr. Harrangue.

We shall handle the situation.

Ben: [slurps]

What are you doing?
- Rook: I am surfboarding the internet.

It provides a fascinating
insight into human culture.

Kitten video... kitteh video...
look ... this one wishes to

"haz cheeseburger."
And, I recently found this ...

a young human writes a bloag
about the presence

of aliens on Earth.
- Ben: You mean "blog."

Rook: He mentions you frequently.

Ben: [slurps] That's Jimmy Jones ...
conspiracy nut...

and a major fanboy.
- Rook: Ooh!

The one who exposed
your secret identity.

Ben: Yep.
- Rook: Thus making your every

movement a matter of
interest to the media.

Ben: Uh-huh.
- Rook: Which precludes your

having a healthy friendship
of the boy/girl variety.

Ben: Don't you have a kitteh
video you should be watching?

Hey, what do ya say, Ben ?!
You want socks?

- We can do business.
- What? Me?

Oh, n-n-no. [chuckles]
I'm not Ben, but I am down here

to identify some new aliens
for my online database.

[beeping]
[clank]

Uh... I don't know
nothin' about nothin'.

You want socks?
We can do business.

[gasps]

Huh?!

Aaaah!

Guh!

What do you want now, Tennyson?

[chuckles] See, no, no, no.
I-I-I'm not Ben, but I am

his biggest fan.
- Yeah?

Well, that makes one of us.
How do you hairless monkeys

Tell each other apart?
- Uh...

technically, we're apes, but...
anyway, I-I was wondering

if you've seen the guy in this picture.

You listen to me. Not
only did I not see that guy

in the picture, but I'm sick
of you humans comin' around and

askin' if I seen any guy
in any picture!

I, uh... [chuckles lightly]
I don't understand.

Now, take off, or I'm gonna
get a rock and a melon baller

and have monkey brains
for lunch.

Ah!
Um, uh, I-I'll just ...

Well, well.
If it ain't ...

Dude, I'm just wearing his jacket, okay?!

I'm not Ben !
- No, you're Jimmy Jones ...

The guy in my picture!

[panting]
[indistinct shouting]

Ben: Don't believe everything
you read in Jimmy's blog.

Rook: Yes. Much of
it appears to be badly

researched. For example,
it says here that

"Ben went on a date
with Ester the Kraaho."

Ben: One movie, no food.
- Rook: And "that the Incursions

left millions of eggs in our rivers ...

a ticking time b*mb."
- Ben: See? Crazy talk.

Rook: And speculation about
"mysterious, unclassified

humanoids in metal suits,
skulking around Undertown."

Ben: Probably just me turning
into [British accent] clockwork.

Rook: Or those humanoids over there.

Ben: Jimmy?!
Hey! Put him down!

[panting]

Aaah!

[panting]

How can he run so fast
wearing all that equipment?

Rook: Perhaps his armor is
power-assisted.

Ben: That was rhetorical.

Rook: And yet, you did not
have an answer. [tires squeal]

[horn honks]

[tires screech]
Ben: Hey, that's...

Rook: Sir Morton,
a Forever Knight who was,

until now, presumed deceased.
- Ben: I know.

I was doing the presuming.
- Have at him, lads.

[beep] Lodestar: You get
the twins. I got the robot.

Throwing stars? Not a problem.

Ow! Unless they're not metal.

Rook: That is unfortunate.

Lodestar: Jimmy!

[tires squealing]
Careful, hero, or you'll turn

Jimmy here into a chopped nerd salad!

Lodestar: Nerd? Really?
Face it, Sir Dunce-alot ...

you're not getting away with him.

[grunts] Whoa!

Whoa!

That... was... incredible!
Aw!

You're wearing a hoodie now?

I just bought my
official replica. [sighs]

What are you doing
down here, Jimmy Jones?

Ben: And why did those
Forever Knights att*ck you?

Are you out of your medieval minds?!

That kid you went after
was just at my studio!

Don't you get it?!
Someone figures out

I'm in on this, I'll be ruined!

Dr. Chadwick: Soon, such
matters will have no consequence.

My work is nearly complete.
- Dr. Chadwick, I've given you

a whole lot of money, but I
haven't seen a whole lot of new

viewers, like you promised.
[laughing]

Oh, come, come. People
will watch your little

program again. I assure you.

Once the Forever Knights are resurgent,

you will want your name linked to ours.

As soon as we have collected the
DNA profiles of every alien in

Undertown, this highbreed pulse
generator will rewrite their

genetic codes and turn
them all into humans.

No more aliens?
- Dr. Chadwick: Not a single one.

And I suspect that every alien

species on Earth is
represented in Undertown.

It's fantastic!
If every alien on Earth becomes

a human, I'll be a hero!
Back on top!

The king of cable news talk!
- Dr. Chadwick: Yes.

I can't imagine that your
collaboration with the Incursean

invasion helped your
reputation very much.

Collaboration?!
[scoffs]

I-I sabotag their invasion,
despite Tennyson's interference.

Didn't you see my
five-part special report?

I explained everything.
Huh!

I'm telling you, this ratings
slump is a total mystery.

Dr. Chadwick: Yes. Yes. Of course.

[clears throat]

[singsong voice]
We haven't had this conversation.

[normal voice] You didn't see me!

I was never here!
Avert your gaze!

[door closes]
Is that true, what you told him?

Your beam machine's going to

change the aliens' DNA
and turn them human?

Dr. Chadwick: Let us merely
say that my "beam machine" will

erase all alien DNA on Earth.
As for the "turn them human"

part, well, one never knows, does one?

Now, where's the boy?
- Well, we... had to leave him

with, uh... Tennyson.
- Dr. Chadwick: Your incompetence

amazes me, sir!
- We'll get him next time.

Dr. Chadwick: Well, you had better!

Wait. Yes.

I think perhaps we can finally put

Tennyson and his alien
Omnitrix to good use.

Ben: How do you know
it was a DNA scanner?

Okay, one, I am an expert
on alien technology.

Two, I watched the video, like,
a hundred times.

So, three, I am sure that's what the

knights used on that
robber you clobbered.

Rook: This is disturbing news, if true.

Ben: Yeah, except it isn't.
One, those guys we fought today?

They're just reheated leftovers.
The Forever Knights are history.

And two, he's just a kid.
- And three, if anybody knows

what it's like to have everyone
say "he's just a kid," it's you!

Ben: Fine.
We'll... find out what's up.

Can I help?
- Both: No!

Dr. Chadwick: They're on the move ...
and looking for us,

with any luck.
- Um, h-h-how is that lucky?

Dr. Chadwick: Because it
gives you an opportunity to take

the Tennyson and his Omnitrix.
- Easily said.

Dr. Chadwick: Hold out the scanner.

You've been using this
device to collect DNA data,

but it can also serve
as a genetic disruptor.

In English, please.
- Dr. Chadwick: Every time

Tennyson turns into
a different alien, scan him.

[chuckles evilly]
You'll love what happens next.

[device beeping]
[creatures bellowing]

Ho-ho-ho!
This should get his attention.

[rumbling]
Ben: Do... you hear something?

Rook: Yes, I do.

Huh?
[grunts]

Rook: Do not touch anything. Alien
technology is very complicated.

I told you, I'm an expert at...
- Rook: Touch... nothing.

Those Beryllian bovines must
have broken out of

Razzkerbag's stockyard.
- Ben Mummy: Over on

glabrous place? Then
they need to hang a left.

[bovines mooing]

And one more left!

Ben: Good as new.
- Rook: This may have been

a trap.
- Ben: Huh? Why would you think that?

Give it up. You're outnumbered.

Ben: Yeah?
Well, outnumber this!

Huh.
O...kay.

[beep] Ampfibian: Ready
for a shock to your system?

Ben: What is with this thing?
- Rook: Jimmy was correct.

They are scanning DNA.
Stop changing forms!

You are supplying them
with more data!

Ben: Well, if I can't turn into an alien

how can I fight them?!
- You can't.

[camera shutter clicking]

Ben: [sighs]
I hate force fields!

[beep]

Oh, man!

[Omnitrix beeping]

[Omnitrix sputters]
Well, that was a waste of time.

Rook: As I said, Ben, the
more you change, the more

data they collect.
- Dr. Chadwick: You're really

much more stubborn than you are smart.

Ben: Nothing wrong with that.
- Rook: In fact ...

Ben: There's nothing...
wrong... with that.

Rook: All right.
- And need I remind you,

that force field is quite impenetrable.

Escape is, in short, impossible.
- Ben: What happened,

Dr. Chad-wack? They
kick you out of the home

for old psychos?
- Dr. Chadwick: Mm... yes.

But once I get the Omnitrix from
you, I can retire gracefully.

Ben: You don't expect me
to just hand it over, do you?

Dr. Chadwick: Ohhh, of course not.

That wouldn't be half as much fun.

That's it!
I can't just sit here!

I got to help Ben!
Plus, I have to go to the

bathroom. [beep]

Huh! Easy!
[tires squeal]

[cat yowls]
[gasping]

Oops! But driving?
Driving is hard!

Dr. Chadwick: Yes. This
will make quite a mess of

the, um... gristle.
- Ben: Not really a medical

doctor, huh?
[door opens, closes]

Look, Chadwick, you can
ignore my calls all you like,

but I will keep coming
down here until you ...

Wooo?
- Ben: Wow, Harrangue.

Being an Incursean lapdog
wasn't enough?

You had to sign up with
the forever nuts, too?

I'll do whatever it takes to
make sure that you, sir,

are finally brought to justice.
- Ben: Justice has nothing to

do with it. They're going
to vaporize every alien

on the planet. Is that
how you want to go down

in history?
There is such a thing

as bad press!
- I will not listen

to your lies!
That is a lie, isn't it?

Dr. Chadwick: He's only
trying to talk his way out of

the punishment he deserves.
- Uh... you sure?

Because I endorse a
lot of health products.

Massacres will not go
over well with my sponsors.

Dr. Chadwick: Mm.
You have nothing to fear.

We'll continue our "chat" shortly.

Let me show you to your car.

This neighborhood is not safe,
you know.

You're telling me.

Ben: How are we gonna get out of here?

Rook: I do not know.
The knights took our equipment.

No one knows we are here.
[tires screech]

[coughs]
Hi guys!

Ben: Careful, Jimmy!
If you push the wrong button ...

[gasps]
Ow!

Hold still, Rook.
I'll cut you out in ...

Whaah!
- Alien technology!

Very complicated!
- Ben: Yeah.

And let that be a lesson to you.

Dr. Chadwick: Keep them away
from the generator!

Rook: You may transform at will.

Ben: Thank you very much.
[beep]

[growls]

Wildmutt! [chuckles ]
Ah, the classics.

Dr. Chadwick: Impressive
performance, but futile.

You have stopped me from
destroying all of the

aliens on Earth. Still,
we collected dozens of

DNA samples. So even
without your Omnitrix

data, the loss of life will be massive!

[clunk]
Huh?

You're a bad man!
You're a very, very bad man!

[generator powers up]

Ben: Where's the off switch, Rook?!
- Rook: There is none.

This device will eradicate
millions of aliens here on

Earth ... including me.
- Ben: Oh, yeah.

Ben! Turn into grey matter!
He's the only one with

the brains to stop this thing!
- Rook: I agree.

Your Galvan form ... quickly!
- Ben: What if the Omnitrix

doesn't give me the right alien?
Huh?!

I'm not smart enough on my own to ...

Both: Do it!
[beep]

Juryrigg?! Is he even smart?

Juryrigg: Smart and stubborn!
Pbht!

Fix-fix-fix-fix-fix!

Ta-da!
- Did you... stop it?

Juryrigg: [cackles]

You're alive!
It was a dud!

Rook: Apparently.
Did you neutralize the pulse

generator or not?
Nothing happened.

Juryrigg: Oh, something
happened ... something big!

Big-big-big-big-big-big!
[cackles]

Rook: Ben? What did you do?
[cackles]

["America the beautiful" plays]

[yawns]
[muttering]

Aaaaaaah!