03x13 - Con of Rath

[bunniefuu]

[ birds chirping ]
[ foot tapping ]

Hurry up!

We're losing our light!

We're not losing the light.

It's : in the morning.

The beach is open all day.

You're right.

Get a move on, Kevin!

[tires screech ]

Geez, I'm coming.

I'm like five minutes late.

What's the big deal?

I'll tell you what
the big deal is.

I've been trying to go to the
beach for a month,

and every time we're about
to leave,

something happens --

monster on the loose,
alien invasion.

Sometimes it rains.

Well, not this time.

This time...

[energy humming ]

[suspenseful music plays ]

[sighs ]

Just forget I said anything.

Greetings.

I am ambassador Zavinom from
the planet Lewoda.

We are seeking Ben Tennyson.

Present!

What's up?

We hope you will undertake a
delicate mission on our behalf.

Only the legendary Ben Tennyson

has the reputation and the skill
to accomplish it.

That's because I saved
the --

Whole entire universe.

We know.

You must deliver this treasure

so that peace may reign
between the Lewodans

and our foes,
the Pantophage.

Treasure, you say?

[ beeps ]

[ clicking and whistling ]

[ clicking and whistling ]

Allow me to present the Tiffin,
our crowned prince, if you will.

Cute, if you're into
cotton swabs.

[energy humming ]

I'm sorry.
I didn't get your name.

I am Cicily,
she who bore him.

So, it's like a
hostage exchange.

Hostage?

Oh, no.
No, no, no.

It is simply a show of trust,

to demonstrate our sincere
desire

for peace with the Pantophage.

Isn't that right, Cicily?

Yes, of course, ambassador.

[energy crackling ]

Is anything wrong,
Ben Tennyson?

Wrong? Me?

[ chuckles ]
No, I'm good.

Excellent.

Now, this credit cube is for
your expenses.

Is that a gold cube?

I've never seen one before.

They don't have
any spending limit.

How are we supposed
to get the Tiffin

where he needs to go?

Well, of course we will
supply you a ship.

[ car alarm beeping ]

We're supposed to fly
in that thing?

Absolutely.

That's a Tachyon --

ugly on the outside but all
engine on the inside.

Whoo-hoo! Road trip!

Don't worry, ambassador.

We'll get the Tiffin
to his destination.

You have the word of
Ben Tennyson.

You're talking about yourself in
the third person now?

Sure.

After all, Ben Tennyson did save
the whole --

You know what?

Stop.

[energy crackling ]

[laughs nervously]

[whistling ]

Something's not right.

What do you mean?

This ship is, like, straight off
the showroom floor.

I don't mean the ship.

I just have a feeling that
ambassador

hasn't told us the
whole story.

Of course not.

Ambassadors lie.

That's their job.

And you aren't curious about
what's really going on?

No.

And you think it's right

to use a baby to seal a
peace treaty?

So the prince grows up
in castle number

or castle number .

What's the diff?

[energy crackling ]

- [whistles ]
- Ow!

[ beeping ]

Rath!

[ roars ]

Ben?

Ben!

[whistles ]

[ roaring ]

[whimpering ]

KEVIN:
Dude, you're messing
up the --

You want to fight me,
Kevin Levin?

Let's go!

[groans ]

Someone needs a
time-out.

Ugh!

[grunting ]

Time-out?!

It's time for you to learn that
nobody can b*at me at --

did I just use up all my air?

Ugh.

[ clicking and whistling ]

[groaning ]

What?

[screeches ]

Ben,
can you understand me?

Of course I can,
Gwen Tennyson!

You think I'm stupid?!

Yeah, thick as a
brick.

You want to fight?

You want to fight?!

Aah!

Not helping, Kevin.

Calm down, Ben.

I need you to listen.

You've become something called
an Apoplexian.

We looked it up in the A.L.D.B.

Huh?

"Alien life-form database."

Apoplexians are
powerful, argumentative,

and extremely aggressive.

They believe any problem can be
solved by hitting it.

Not true!

Sometimes you have to hit things
a lot!

It also says that
they're not too bright.

[growling ]

Dude, did you just
growl at me?

Okay, Ben, I'm going
to let you go,

but you have to stay
calm.

Control you anger.

No stomping!

Maybe you want to reboot
the Omnitrix

and get back
to normal?

Okay, but not 'cause
you told me to!

Nope.

It was your idea.

Okay, here we go.

Changing back.

What?
It's busted!

[ beeping ]

Come off me!

[grunting and straining ]

Stop! Ben!

Aah!

[whistles ]

Anybody hungry?!

[ chattering and mumbling ]

[electronic music plays ]

[ belches ]

Remember,
we're on a schedule.

What for?

To deliver the Tiffin,
stop a w*r.

Whatever!

Food robot!

[sighs ]

Just get a snack so we can go.

Go where?

What do you know?

Argit.

Kevin.
Long time, no see.

You look different.

Did you get a haircut?

No.

Gwendolyn.

Argit.

We were just leaving.

Hey, what's the big rush?

We are on a mission to
deliver some major cargo --

the Tiffin of Lewoda.

I can't cut you in on this one,
though.

It's, like, for charity.

I understand, old buddy.

Listen,
they just called my order.

I'll catch you later.

Kevin!

What?

Why would you tell him
about that?

He's a con man who would sell
his own mother for lunch money.

I happen to know he
got top dollar for his mom.

Hey, it's Argit.

[ chattering indistinctly]

Yeah, I know I owe ya.

Yeah, I know you've been looking
for me.

But I got a tip that'll make us
square again.

Not to mention that
every time we run into him,

we almost get k*lled.

Are you saying you
don't like my friends?

No!
I'm saying he's not your friend.

[ ominous music plays ]

Okay, don't nobody interested
in staying alive move!

[all gasping ]

The Vreedles?

Yep.
I'm Octagon,

and this here is my brother
Rhomboid.

'Sup?

Call me "Boid."

But we saw you two go
up in an expl*si*n.

Yeah, that sort of thing occurs
on a fairly regular basis.

We're what you might call
"clones."

Mm-hmm.

Our folks used a home kit to
make us.

Boid.

They bought a lot.

- Boid!
- It was on sale, what with it

being past the
"best if used by" date.

"Spoiled," I guess, is what
you'd call --

But all that falls under the
category of personal-type

business that we do not share with
strangers...Boid!

Oh, that's right.

[ chuckles ]
I forgot.

Now hand over the Tiffin so's
we can hold him for ransom.

Not gonna happen.

Then we've got ourselves a
little disagreement.

[ ominous music plays ]

[g*ns cocking ]

All things considered,

I think we should give them
the Tiffin.

Let me tell you
something, Kevin Levin!

Nobody's giving nobody nothin'!

Is that an Apoplexian?

Yep, and they're even
stupider and meaner than we are.

We're gonna need what you might
call an edge.

Listen up!

, credits to anybody what
joins up with us!

[all talking ]

[g*ns cocking ]

Now you're making it
interesting!

Hy...

Yah!

Aah!

Aah!

Kevin!

Aah!

[whistling ]

Hey!

Whoa!

Ugh!

[growling and chattering ]

Gwen!

It's okay.
I've got --

[g*n cocks ]

Ben, behind you!

Ohh!

[ food sizzling ]

Let me tell you something,
Octagon Vreedle!

You've gone too far!

A man's food is his castle!

I believe what you done there

is mixin' yer what you might
call "metaphors."

This is gonna hurt, I suspect.

Well, that didn't work out
so good.

[ chattering and squealing ]

Come on!

I was just getting warmed up!

[groaning ]

Ugh!

[whistling and clicking ]

You're a lot of trouble,
you know that?

Muh-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mew.

[sniffing ]

I'm almost starting to
appreciate the old Ben.

Kevin, this is serious.

What if he's stuck like this
forever?

[expl*si*n ]

Greetings, Earth folk.

[ beeping ]

This is Commander Sangfroid.

You're an Incursian.

Yeah, I am.

Now, as you know,
we Incursians love w*r --

can't get enough of
the stuff.

It's what we live for.

Uh-huh.

And your point is?

This peace mission you're
on -- we're against it,

so prepare to be boarded...
then k*lled.

Nothing personal.

Let me tell you
something,

Incursian Commander Sangfroid!

Rath has a better idea!

I'm coming over!

You're gonna need a
space suit.

Whatever!

[ muffled expl*si*n ]

[ muffled shouting and g*nf*re]

[shouting and g*nf*re stop]

[air whistling ]

Okay,
Incursian Commander Sangfroid,

I've beaten up everybody on
the ship but you!

We can fight, or you can go!

Fribbit.

I talked to them.

They said we can go.

[whistles and purrs ]

Okay, don't get all
emotional.

[expl*si*n ]

Incursian Commander Sangfroid
lied!

Find a seat.

I'm putting us in high gear.

[splat! ]

Engines full!

A black hole.
Cool!

No, not cool.

Very not cool.

We'll get sucked in!

No, we won't.

But they will.

[ metal creaking ]

I really hate that guy.

[snoring ]

[sniffing ]

What is your problem?!

[whistles ]

Uh...whatever.

[squeaking ]

[warbling ]

[squeaking ]

[warbling ]

[laughs ]
I guess you are kinda...

What?!

We have good news and
bad news.

The bad news is that
black-hole stunt Kevin pulled

damaged the engine.

But the good news is I
found a planet near here

with exactly what I need to get
us going again.

And what's that?

Taedenite?!

Told you he wouldn't
like it.

Aah!
What's the big deal?

The big deal?!

The big deal is 'cause...uh...

Aah!

You tell him!

Because every time you
mention Taedenite,

Volcanus shows up and tries
to k*ll us.

What she said!

Come on!

You're exaggerating.

Hey!
What are you doing here?!

[ ominous music plays ]

It doesn't matter.

k*ll them!

[ ominous music plays ]

Hang on.

Is that you, Tennyson?

Yeah. So?

So, what happened?

You set the Omnitrix to "ugly"?

[laughs ]

"You set the Omnitrix to
'ugly"" -- that's good.

[ ching! ]

[laughter]

Let me tell you
something, Volcanus!

Whoa, big guy.

Let me handle this.

You?

Yeah, me.

You think Ben's the only one who
can do a negotiation?

Well, not at the moment.

Volcanus, you've made
a lot of money off me.

Do we have to be enemies?

Uh, pretty much, yeah.

Even if I'm willing to
pay for what I need -- say,

times the going rate?

I like the way you're
thinking.

But considering that we're
on my territory

and there's nowhere
for you to escape,

the number seems...

low.

Come on!

That's a great deal considering
every time

we run up against you,

we kick your butt!

What did you say?

I should have said,

"spank your butt" since you're
just a little baby

in that big,
mechanical suit!

Uh, Ben, I've got this one.

I'm gonna call you
"baby man," baby man.

You're not getting any
Taedenite from me!

In fact, you can forget about
getting off this planet!

Whack 'em!

[all chattering ]

Hey!
I was negotiating.

No, this is
negotiating!

This whole trip is
like one of those dreams

where everyone you
know is in it...

and they all want to hurt you.

I don't have dreams
like that.

Oh, uh, me either.

[g*n cocks ]

Ohh!

You've ruined my whole supply!

I see a couple good
pieces in that pile.

As we make our final approach
to the Pantophage home planet,

let me say thanks to all
of you for flying with us

on Kevin Levin airway.

Oh, just button it.

Meh-meh-meh-ba-ba-boo.

Oh, relax.

You'll be okay.

I have an incoming
signal...from the planet Lewoda.

My dear Tiffin,

I just wanted to tell you how
proud I am

of what you're doing for our
people.

Please, I beg of you, do not
give my son to the Pantophage.

Hang on.

You came to us, 'kay?

We didn't ask for this job,

but like it or not,
now we got to finish it!

Don't be such a
hardnose about it.

No, he is right.

It is as it must be.

[suspenseful music plays ]

[liquid bubbling ]

I am Jerret,
king of the Pantophage.

Let's get it over with.

We brought you the Tiffin!

And I thank you for your
trouble.

[whimpers ]

Sorry, little guy.

There.

Isn't that lovely?

[gulps ]

Ahh.

[groans ]

Did you just eat the baby?!

[slurping ]

Yes, I did.

I thought you were
gonna keep him!

I thought he was a peace
offering!

Yes, well, he was all that,
plus a rare delicacy.

That's what a peace offering is
here on my planet.

Eating...babies...is
not...cool!

[ roars ]

[ creeeeeeeeak! ]

[whoosh! ]

[gagging ]

[squeaks ]

Yeah, I know.

Same here.

[lisping ]
How dare you!

Certainly you realize that this
means w*r!

Hold this.

Let me tell you something,
Jerret of Pantophage,

I just jumped down your throat!

You start a w*r with the
Lewodans,

and I will do it again,

only next time I will knit your
intestines into a sweater!

[snap! ]

[snarls ]

[squealing and purring ]

My son -- alive!

It's a miracle.

Glad to help.

Now, about our fee -- ugh!

We're happy it all
worked out.

Nevertheless,
on behalf of Lewoda,

let me offer our sincere
gratitude to you for negotiating

a peace treaty with
the Pantophage,

who otherwise would
have --

Did you know Jerret was
gonna eat the baby?!

Uh, well, I wasn't sure
exactly, but --

[ ching! ]

Never talk to me...

again.

[ ching! ]

Thank you,
Ben Tennyson.

Thank you all.

[whistling ]

[energy crackling ]

Ben, you're back!

Yeah!

As soon as the Tiffin left,
I went back to normal.

That baby must have
sent out some kind of

interference that messed with
the Omnitrix.

Good guess.

You knew?

Well, I wasn't sure
exactly, but --

Kevin...

Rath would like a word with you.

Let me tell you
something, Kevin E. Levin!

KEVIN:
Please don't.