03x21 - Return of Spyfall

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kickin' It". Aired: June 13, 2011 - March 25, 2015.
Follows a crew of lovable misfits- Jack, Jerry, Milton and Kim - and their Sensei Rudy - at Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy.
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03x21 - Return of Spyfall

Post by bunniefuu »

Jack and Milton are so lucky

for winning the contest

and be able to go to Washington
with director Funderburk.

Milton, I understand.

but Jack made up a silly paragraph

about how Martha Washington
encouraged the troops by belching the alphabet.

"Fool?" That woman
was a w*r hero, Kim.

With Jack's luck,

must already know
the president.

Hello, I am
President George Washington,

Welcome to
Presidential Burgers.

the special of the day
It's the Patriot Burger.

"I can't lie",
it's delicious.

What makes you a patriot?

The tomato is red, the onion is white
and the flesh is blue.

clams for me,
they eat the special.

Are you okay, Funderburk? He looks nervous.

Of course he's nervous.
He asked for clams.

It says here in the menu:
"clams may not be clams."

Look, you know how they always say

that I'm the best director ever?

We never say that.

The truth is, I'm not a director.




As I was saying...

I'm an undercover agent
to work for the government.

Good job. Malta,
this is Agent Thirty-Four.

Good moves back there.

He's a very agile old man, isn't he?

you are here because
I'm assembling a team of spies

and I need you for a mission.


That means we don't go to the
Presidential Dog Wax Museum?

That's what I promised my mother
a photo of Barbara Bush's beagle.

We will. More cyborgs will appear.

Cyborgs only exist
in science fiction films.

Not. That's a cyborg!
There's a cyborg here, guys!


Be strong with me

I'm saying, you don't want

come have fun with me

We can have fun and climb walls

It's what we do

And no matter how much I cut and b*at

It's not so cool
how to have fun with you

Here we go, let the party begin

Do it like in karate

All together


Be strong with me

I'm saying, you don't want

Come have fun with me

We can have fun and climb walls

It's what we do

And no matter how much I cut and b*at

It's not so cool
how to have fun with you

We're safe here.

It's an abandoned subway station
which I turned into my headquarters.

It's discreet, highly functional
and solid as rock.

Solid enough.

I knew it wasn't
a real director.

He made snorting noises with his hands
over the school's loudspeakers.

Yes. With my hands.

brought you here

because i need you to help me
to fight ARSH.

I caught this in a canoe
last summer.

If you rub butter...

ARSH stands for "Radical Agents
Sabotaging Humanity."

Well, for that
the butter won't come.

Realize that I'm just
a kid, right?

Look, I only have two hairs on my armpit.

Please hide the red-haired twins.

You are not ordinary kids.

Milton, you have one of the IQs
highest I've ever seen.

What is this?

Don't worry, we have loads of them.

And Jack...

you climbed a building
of floors,

you got a special agent
with your own tranquilizer dart

and saved the life of a prince.

I have my moments.

That was a test, Jack.

A test you passed
with utmost distinction.

In fact, the prince
it was Agent Thirty-Four.

Don't you recognize me, Jack?

And now?


- That hurt?
- No.

I'm agent Shane Peters.

My father is the greatest spy ever.

And I'm just like him.
Right, Funderburk?

Good, Gray is here,

the last member of our team.

If this is the spy uniform,
I'm out.

It's her school uniform.

Shane and Gray
they both walk at the Biltmore Academy

which is linked to our headquarters
through that secret elevator.

Are these the two new types?

What's up with chrome?

Jack is not chrome.
He is a level two black belt.

I was talking about you, Red.

That makes a lot more sense.

Grey's father was a street magician.

While he was pulling rabbits,
she took out wallets.

I found her at the reformatory.

So steal wallets
makes her a spy?

Hi Jack.

You broke eye contact,
it means you don't trust me,

these calluses on your hand

indicate that you are not safe
your stick correctly...

And that shaved gel you use

It will make you bald at thirty.

this is what makes me
a spy, Jack.

Thirty, Jack.

It's gone.

she is a mazona
nutritionally conscious.

It's as if someone has been reading
my diary.

A year ago,
my ex-partner switched sides,


used the nickname Doctor Cross
and became head of the ARSH.

stole the files
of all spies.

And my invisible spy mug.
I guess.

This is where we come in.

As we are just teenagers,

would never suspect that we are spies.

We know that ARSH. plan
something devilish for the weekend.

The four of you can stop them.

The Mind, the Martial Artist,
the Magic and the Master of Disguise.

Sorry, I'm so much more
than a master of disguise.

I also have the ability
to pass anyone.

Do you know why?

Because nobody sees me coming.

Jack, Milton...
Will you help us in this mission?

Yes, we're in.

Excellent! Grey, let's get together
everything we have about ARSH.

we meet you here
at the situation table to discuss...

Well, the situation.


Dude, I don't trust these guys.

Shane is a bumbler
and Gray is a thief,

who said horrible things
about my hair.

You know what it's like to be the type
whom everyone asks for help.

They never choose me for anything.

Is it that important to you?

I want to do this.

If you line up, I line up.

Thank you, Jack.

Take a candy. your breath
smells like a station bathroom.

Sorry, I don't know why I said this.

These are not regular candy.

Says they have sodium dibenzoate.

This is truth serum.

well so these are
the sweets of truth.

I will walk to say it out loud
my inner thoughts.

you are too stupid
to realize this.

Sorry, I did the same again.

Malta, we are waiting for you.

- You know what I'm waiting for, honey?
- It's ok.

Shane, see if we get
some transmission.

Sir, one just arrived.
Says it's from "The Devil's Face".

She is my mother-in-law. ignore.

Not. She's from Doctor Cross.

Hello, Funder-bronco.

Maybe you've heard of
of liquitonium?


See what a drop can do
to the biggest cent in the world.

Soon, I will have
a liter of liquitonium.

Imagine the harm I will cause.

We know there is an ARSH agent
flying to the capital tomorrow.

Probably has liquitonium.

They have to work as a team
and intercept him

before you give it to Cross.

I work better alone.

I don't trust them.

I trust, I just don't need them.

Maybe you do, Shane.

And if you have to go down
a flight of stairs?

And if you have to go down
a flight of stairs?

He arrives!

The only way to stop Cross
is to work together.

Shane, they go to sleep
in your room tonight.

I don't want roommates.

Very well, it's decided.
We slept with Grey. We will.


Go sleep with Shane.

Before going upstairs,

wear these school uniforms.

I'm proud to manage
a confidential operation.

Nobody knows we exist.

the abstractions
for the swim team are here?


Do you know what it means
"confidential", right?

if any of you
touch my things

are on my list.

On your list?

That's right, on my list!

Can you believe this guy?

"They're on my list."

Shane, it's your father.

I heard you joined the ridiculous
Funderburk spy team.

You'll never be a spy like me.

Stop shaming the family
and back home.

The best spy in the world
doesn't seem like the best dad in the world.

That must be why
that Shane tries so hard.

Milton, this mission

it's really serious.

We're no longer at the Bobby Wasabi Dojo
fighting the Black Dragons.

Are you sure about this?

this is my opportunity
to show what I'm capable of.

From now on,

Milton Krupnick will be known
like a man.

My mother didn't put my boots on.

You know what?
These feet are going to sleep around.

Let's review the plan.

Shane will intercept
the ARSH agent and distract it.

Later, Gray will put
the unlocker in the suitcase.



Then Milton will crack the code
to open the suitcase.

Later, Gray will switch
the fake container with the locator

and pass the liquitonium to Jack

which will pass in a personal vehicle.

Jack, do you know how to drive?
a personal vehicle, don't you know?

I worry about shipping.

Worry about your makeup.

It's not makeup!
It's spy makeup.

For men.

All right, team, agent
that are going to intercept has landed now.

It's time.


It's our first mission.

If I don't come back,

I want you to forget me
and move on.

He is well.


not strong.

Last week,
a psychic got into my taxi.

She said she'd read my hands for free.

So I show you my hands
and I lead with my feet, you see,

so, see?

And she says I'm going to have an accident.

Ten seconds later...
I hit a bus.

This is that she is a seer.

Real story.

Not. The taxi is overheating.

We have to get out of here, friend.

We will. Let's go friend.

He is well? Breathe. Fresh air.

I do not know what is.

The same thing happened to me the other day.

What do you think?
Maybe you should change the oil.

Why is it taking so long?

Sorry, it's my first mission.
I'm a little nervous.

Serious spies don't get nervous!

The real spies
don't sweat the panties either

But it is what we have.
So it's deal, sis!

That's why I work alone.

I will move forward. I will use my laser
to cut the suitcase.

No! That's not the plan!

This is not good!

Jack, where are you?

I'm having some problems.
I've never driven one of these.

- What are you doing?
- Shane, give me the bag!

Now my father will know
I saved the mission.

Seriously? Go there!

- I told you to give it to me!
- Give me the suitcase! It doesn't matter!

Watch out!

Jack! I help you.

I'm on f*re!

Couldn't you do your job?

I have liquitonium!

The CIA director will shut us down.

Teenage spies.

What was I thinking?

I will be the first Peters
in three generations not to be a spy.

of course that
will not surprise my father.

He thinks he should be a florist.

- What?
- Florist!

Yes, you can imagine.

- Seriously?
- Yea. Seriously.

He is well.

It was also my fault.

I was too proud to admit

who did not know how to drive the transport.

Well, back to juvie.

I should have trusted you.

Don't blame yourself.

I couldn't take the pressure.

It is obvious that the fact that you smell
rain on a moonlit night didn't help.

But it was mostly the pressure.

"Milton Krupnick: Spy."

What an anecdote.

Come on, Milton, you're not a joke.

In truth,
You're the bravest kid I know.

I hate Doctor Cross.

I would love to take you
that smug air.

Wait, what's that in the glasses?

What are you doing?

I am increasing the filling
and compressing reflective pixelation.

I'm enlarging the photo.

He is well.

Enlarging Zone...

Processing Image...

It's a New York subway schedule.

Cross stressed the K train
until the last station...

Liberty Island!

And what is there that is made of copper
such as the giant penny?

The Statue of Father Liberty!

Right in!

Malta, let's finish
what we started.

How we got to a carriage
from the NYC subway in minutes?

I may have taken the keys
of the Funderburk jetcopter.


Sometimes I get caught up in things.
It's my scene.

Malta, put your hands up. Wasabi.

- Wasabi!
- We will.

Why do we say "wasabi"?

I have no idea,
but they seem to like it.

"Wasabi". Wasabi. Taste.

We have already gone through the other carriages.

The agent has to be in this.

I found them. these players
are wearing high-heeled cleats.

Football is not played with a heel.

And that ball is size.
It's for kids.

Agent Seven, you're a woman and wait.

Next stop, Ilha da Liberdade.

Time to say hello to my friends.

You didn't even say hello to my friends!

He deactivated the brakes!

Milton, to the train.
I'll get the liquitonium.

I have to find
another power source.

I think you get off at this stop.

It's working!
The carriage is slowing down!

Well I guess my work here
it's done.

I have to admit, Red,
I was wrong about you.

You get the message.

may not seem
that I get the message,

but if there is
a message to take care of,

you can be sure
that I get the message.


You disobeyed me,

stole a jetcopter
of seven million,

put civilians at risk...

And I never felt

so proud

in my life!

I love these kids!

Well I didn't get to see the beagle
by Barbara Bush,

but this was the field trip
most exciting ever.

Undoubtedly. Yes, man, we have to go.

The plane to Seaford
leaves in an hour.


Thanks to you, we accomplished the mission.

You know, for the first time
in my life,

my father sees me as a spy
and not as a florist.

I want to thank you.

So I made this for you.

Man flowers.

Thank you Shane.

You know, you did a good job.

Just like you.

It was an honor to be your leader.

You not

you were my leader.

I was your leader, Jack!

Milton... before you go,
I wanted to tell you something.

You stayed with me when things
got into trouble on the train.

You are the first person I can
trust for a long time.


Grey, before you go,

I wanted to tell you something.

I know you stole my watch.

Well done, Red.

Dude, are you ready?

Are you sure that
do not want to consider

become permanent members?
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