02x06 - Family Fallout

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Jetsons". Aired: September 23, 1962 – March 17, 1963.
Cartoon show features the Jetson family living in a utopian future where people live in housing in the sky, work a three-day workweek, drive aerocars that look like flying saucers and have incredible conveniences that leave them with plenty of leisure time.
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02x06 - Family Fallout

Post by bunniefuu »

Breakfast. everyone.

Come and get it.

Now hear this:

l'm glad l got here
before the rockets went off.

GEORGE: Starving.

-Me too.
-Me too.

Me too.

What's on the menu?

You'll have to ask Judy.
She's cooking breakfast this morning.

lt's something l learned in cooking class
just yesterday.

Oh. l didn't realize it was so late.

-Me either.
-Me either.

l gotta get to work
or Spacely will dock me.

Yeah. and l got a Martian history test.
Can't miss it.

George. Elroy. come back here. you two.

You wanna hurt Judy's feelings?

That's okay. l'm not insulted. Mother.

Get back here thís mícrosecond. Astro.

Good boy. Astro.
You came back on your own.

-And l didn't even have to say a word.
-You didn't?

Okay. everybody.
eggs Copernicus coming up.


-l'll take your other breakfasts anytime.
-Me too.

l can't understand what's wrong.

JANE: The Food-a-Rac-a-Cycle broke down
again. That's what's wrong.

And l think it's high time
we get a new one. George Jetson.

A new one? What's wrong with this one?

Nothing as far as l can see.

You just gotta learn how to duck better.

Okay. so l'm not as fast as l used to be.
Pull the plug on that thing. Rosie.

JANE: George. we can't spend breakfast.
Iunch and dinner ducking food.

What do you wanna do. Jane?

Get rid of this Food-a-Rac-a-Cycle?
We've had it since we were married.

lt's an old friend.
A member of the wedding.

-What do you think. Rosie?
-Keep your wife and divorce the old friend.

Or. we start eating out three times a day.

Three times a day?

Okay. okay. the Food-a-Rac-a-Cycle
Iobby wins.

What's the most popular food on Mars?

ls ít chocolate gremnedíes.
manítoíd pízza, or físsíon-fríed chíchen?

Gremnedies. It's gremnedies.

ls ít gremnedíes?

That's absolutely correct!

These questions are a snap.

Anybody with half an IQ could get them.

And tonight my family will be on the
show battling for the grand galactic prize.

Maybe old Cogsy
should see me on famíly fallout...

...so he'll know what kind of a man
he's up against.


l'm sorry. but l'm not here ríght now.

Please leave your name and number
and íncome-tax bracket.

l hate those answering machines.

Meantíme. remember
when you need a cog# ..

...what name ríngs a bell?

Cogswell, Cogswell, Cogswell

l'd like to ring your bell. you ding-a-ling.

lf you want a cog that no one can sell
call Cogswell. Cogswell. Cogswell.

Absolutely correct.

The hypotenuse of the glass' degree
dívíded by pí.

Some of the families on this show
are pretty sharp.

Now where can l find an opponent
who is sure to lose the game?

Somebody really dumb.

Excuse me. Mr. Spacely.
l know how you hate to be bothered. but--

Jetson. come right in.

l was just thinking of you.

Have a seat. my good man.

Well. the reason l wanted to see you.
Mr. Spacely. was that--

Me first. George.

Have you ever heard of famíly fallout_

Sure. Isn't that the quiz show
where you win lots of money?

You're smarter than l thought. Jetson.

Have you ever thought
of trying out for it?

Me? How could l ever get on the show?

Connections. connections. my boy.

You're looking at a friend
whose middle name is connections.

No. l wouldn't want you
to go to any trouble. Mr. Spacely.

Nonsense. What are friends for?
You'd like to be on the show. wouldn't you?

Sure. but the questions they ask
are pretty tough.

George. my boy.
don't underestimate yourself...

...more than necessary.

And besides. with winnings
you'll get on the show...

...you won't ever have to ask me
for a raise again.


You've won the grand galactíc prí e.

Say hello to your brand-new
Alpha Beta Romeo.

But that's not all...

...we're sendíng you and your
Ioved ones on an all-expense paíd tríp...

...to beautíful Las Venus!

Yes. for seven days and seven níghts
of heavenly blíss.

And as an extra added bonus...

...you'll be receívíng, tax free,
s .ooo.ooo!

See what l mean. champ?

Just leave it to me and l'll make sure
you get a tryout for the game.

Wow. l can't wait till l tell Jane.

Jetson is the perfect employee.

Trusting. Ioyal and gullible.

Famíly Fallout?

You know. Mother. it's that show where
the emcee goes around kissing everybody.


Elroy. those ''yuck'' kisses
could be worth t .OOO.OOO if you win.

l'm all puckered. Mr. J.

Hold that pucker. Rosie.

Mr. Spacely just got us a tryout.
We're not on the show yet.

Why do you suppose he's being so nice
all of a sudden?

You underestimate him. Jane.

Underneath that sneaky. mean exterior...

...lies a kind. caring human being.

l'd have to see the x-rays first.

We'll never get on that show anyway.
The families are all so hyper.

Well. when l think of t .OOO.OOO
and all those prizes...

...l can get pretty hyper too.

Especially when you think of all
the Food-a-Rac-a-Cycles it would buy.

Well. it's a family quiz.
And we're a family.

And if we're doing it together--

Right. Dad. that's the key word.

How are we gonna do it?


How are we gonna do it?


Three. two. one. blast offt

lt's tíme for Family Fallout.

Wíth the star of the show.
that lovable. huggable. kíssable host...

...Ríchard Rocketeer.

Hi. hi. hi.


ls everybody ready
for some nuclear family warfare?


Then let's meet our first contestants...

...the Jetsons!

Hello. Georgie boy.
tell us a little bit about yourself.

Well l'm a digital index operator
at Spacely Space Sprockets.

An _ _oye Famíly Fallout.

-Oh. and l love you.


l love this part of the show.


And how are you. my little--?

Go ahead. Rocketeer. make my day.

Boys will be boys.

And now let's welcome your opponents.
the Spacelys!

Mr. Spacely?

Jetson? What a surprise to find you here.


Yeah. what a surprise.

Oh. so you two know each other.

Of course. Everyone knows me.

l'm the owner
of Spacely Space Sprockets.

The favorite sprocket of sprocket lovers

And this is my dear wife. Stella.
my son. Arthur...

...his dog. lero. and my. ahem. revered
mother-in-law. Mrs. Meltdown.

lt's time to play famíly fallout.

Now remember. the family who answers
the most questions correctly...

...will go home
with the grand galactic prize.

Okay. here's your first question.

What is Kepler's third law
of planetary motion?

Uh. uh. uh-- Um....


Sorry. Jane. l--

l'll take a chance.

The squares of the periods
of any two planets...

...are proportional to the cubes
of their mean distances to the sun.

That's absolutely correct.


l've just been informed that computers
are not allowed on famíly fallout.

But. gee. Rosie's not a computer.

She's a part of our family.

l'm sorry. Elroy. but those are the rules.

Oh. boy. Oh. boy.
Right here. Do it. right here!

Cut it out. Astro.

Now that's much better.

Thanks. Richie.


This game will be a cinch to win now.

l hope so. Cosmo.

Mother and l did not come down here
to waste our time.

You'd better believe it. buster.

Okay. now here's your next question.

Name the famous rock 'n' roller who
conquered the universe with his big hit:

''Eep Oop Ork Ah-ah.''

Jet Screamer. who else?

Good brainwave.


What do you expect? She's a teenager.

Don't worry. dear.
l'm sure you'll get the next one.


What famous designer
created the shredded look...

...after his pants were ruined
by a runaway lawn mower?

Oh. l know. l know. it's--
It's on the tip of my tongue.

lt's Calvin Clone.

Right on the circuit.

lf we lose. l'm asking Mother
to move in with us immediately.

That's right. bonehead.

This togetherness is really paying off.

These questions are easy.

The big question is.
where am l gonna work if we win?

And here we go again.

Whose picture is on the front
of a trillion-dollar bill?

l've got it! It's J. Paul Galaxy the th.


Good for you. Cosmo.
You're finally catching up.

George. we can't let Mr. Spacely
get ahead.

But if we don't. he'll have mine.

The score ís Spacelys , Jetsons .

Pretty excítíng.

Time is running out.
We're getting closer to the end.

And it just may be the end of you.

l wish you wouldn't put it that way.

Okay. everybody.
According to TV Ga Iactíc Guíde...

...who's the most popular space monster
on television?

-Gee. that's easy. It's Mogzilla.
WOMAN: All right! All right. good answer!

Game ís tíed. Game ís tíed.

You ought to be tied. Jetson.

To a stake.

What do you think. folks?

Should we bring the Jetsons
and the Spacelys back to battle it out?


Oh. l'm so excited. George.
l'm feeling lucky.

-l feel in my bones we're gonna win.
-Me too.

Even in the ones
that are gonna be broken.

l'm so nervous
l can hardly push a button.


Jetson seems to have his mind
on things other than work.

l'll just give him a little push.
Over the edge. that is.

Jetson! What's wrong?
Too busy thínkíng?

ls thís what l'm payíng you for?

Well. you see. Mr. Spacely. l--

Long time. no see.

Very funny. R.U.D.l.. very funny.

Get to work, Jetson!
No gabbíng on company tíme.

Here's your assígnment today.

This will take days to punch out.

You'd better have it done
before quitting time...

...or you can call it quits.

l'm ruined.
My finger will never be the same.

on't worry, Jetson.

lf you wín on Family Fallout...

...you'll be home early every day.
Get the message?

l get it. Mr. Spacely. l get it.

And l'm gonna get it from Jane
if l don't win.


l sure put the fear of Spacely ínto Jetson.

l'm such a geníus l can hardly stand ít.

Don't push it. Spacely.

R.U.D.l. old boy.
l'm glad to see you're ín a good mood...

...because l've got a líttle íob for you.

Now thís ís what l want you to do.

Shall l order one or two breakfast cubes
from McDippers today. dear?

l-- l can't talk.

George. what's wrong?

-Sore throat?

Are you sure this isn't
a Spacely sore throat?

lt would be a way of
getting out of tonight's show.


Well. in that case. l'd better call Dr. Radius.

r. Radíus at your servíce.

What seems to be the problem?

Can't talh, eh? Stích out your tongue.

Hm. Ah. Ooh.

How does it look. doctor? Is it serious?

Well. thís looks to me
líke a psychologícal sore throat...

...caused by hyper-dríve tensíon.

Hyper-drive tension?

That's correct. Mrs. Jetson.

And l'd advíse you
to keep George away...

...from any actívítíes that could cause hím
any more stress, líke work or--

We were supposed to be
on famíly fallout tonight.

TV quí shows
are defínítely out of the questíon.


Well. psychological or not. George.
the kids and l are gonna win this game.

With or without you.


Welcome to another devastating battle
on Famíly Fallout.

So let's bring back the Jetsons
and the Spacelys.

Where's old jittery George?

He's at home with a case of lunar-gitis.
Thanks to you.

l don't know why on earth
you would ever say that.

You know very well why l'm saying that.
Mr. Spacely.

Now. now. Temper. temper. temper.

Now. now. folks.
save your strength for the game.


Here's your first question.

According to the song.
''l Left My Chip in Supernova...''

...what instrument
did the Monkey Boys play?

Oh. that's easy. the clusterphone.


That's right. the clusterphone!

Good for you. Astro.

l don't believe it.

l never thought dog-training school
would do him this much good.

l guess he takes after me.

What am l saying?

lf l was really smart. l never would have
gotten myself in this mess in the first place.

Ready to blast off?
Here's your next question.

Name the Nova Prize winning author
who wtote Of Míce and Martíans.


John Starbuck.

Right! John Starbuck.


Cosmo. how can you let that dog
humiliate us in front of millions?

Don't worry. dear.
l've got a secret w*apon.

And it had better work. you dimwit!

Now here's a tough one.

lf you are vacationing on the brightest star
in the Andromeda constellation...

...where would you be?

SPACELY: Alphetraz.

lt has an apparent magnitude of .
and is as denoted as--

RICHARD: Alphetraz it is.
WOMAN: All right! All right.

-l knew that.
-Don't worry. Astro. You'll get the next--

Oh. this is the worst antenna ache
l ever had.

You see. dear
l told you that winning t'his game...

...would be as easy
as pi to the th degree.

Just keep up the good work. Cosmo.

We're on our way to that grand prize.

Or you'll have me for a roommate.


l've gotta find a cure for this static fray.

This noise is giving me a short circuit.

Ow! l must be getting closer to its source.

Suffering silicone.

l had a feeling in my tubes
that Mr. J's boss was behind this.

Name the most popular
bubbly beverage on Venus.

Spanglo-Fish with a twist of lime.

Spanglo-Físh wíth a twíst of líme.

So that's how he got so smart.

Well. l'll give him a brainstorm
he'll never forget.

Hey. what do you think you're doing
with my circuits. Iady?

l'm turning you into an honest computer.
that's what.

What planet's highest military honor
is the Flugomott?

ls it Titanius?

Dwarfus? Or the planet Squeegie?

The planet--



Oh. sorry. Cosmo.
That's not the answer we're looking for.

What's wrong with you?

Oh. my ears are on f*re.

l always said he was nothing
but a hothead.

Okay. everyone. here's our big chance
to catch up and we're doing it together.


SCOR__OARfi: Game ís tíed. Game ís tíed.
Thírty seconds left to play.

Okay. families. this is it.

A final question to decide this game
once and for all.

Are you ready?

-Let's go!

Well-- What's he saying?

For the grand galactic prize...

...can you tell me what the letters
R.U.D.l. stand for?


-Do you know. Astro?
-Beats me.

Where's your secret w*apon now.

What? What'd you say?

Tíme ís runníng out. Tíme ís runníng out.

Gee. Mom. it looks like our luck
is running out.

-l know the answer.

l knew you wouldn't let us down. Dad.

Jetson? What's he doing here?

R.U.D.l. stands for Referential Universal
Differential Indexer.

That's absolutely. positively.
undeniably correct!

you'ye just won Famíly Fallout.


What's going on?

The Jetsons won!

Jetson won?

How could he do this to me?

Jetson. you're fired!

RICHARD: Say the word. George.
and the grand galactic prize is yours.

Or you can choose what's behind
the force field.

lt could be anything
from a brand-new space car...

...to a worthless piece of space junk.

That's what you'll be when
l'm through with you. Jetson.

A worthless piece of junk.

Oh. one more thing. George.

Since you're big the winner.
if you choose the force field...

...your opponent will automatically
take home the grand galactic prize.

Take the force field. Iame brain.

Well. what will it be. George?

The grand galactic prize.
or the force field?

l'll take what's behind the force field.

George. how could you do such a thing?

Well. l--

l hope you enjoy
eating fine cosmic cuisine.

Because you'll be making lots of it
with your brand-new...

...Supersonic Big Dipper Deluxe

...the latest in Food-a-Rac-a-Cycle.
furnished by Retro Rockets Incorporated.

Oh. George. you're wonderful.

Jetson. you're back on my team again.

And l won't even give you a pay cut.

Gee. thanks. Mr. Spacely.
you're all heart.

Hey. Rocketeer. Iet's see what l won.

Clear out the garage and the house...

...because you'll need lots
and lots of room...

...for you and your entire family
will be receiving a lifetime supply...

...of Cogswell's cogs!

Cogswell's cogs?


l guess the excitement
was too much for him.
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