01x06 - Tuffy

[bunniefuu]

Frank Wills.

I found a piece of tape

on the parking garage door.

I thought it was a mistake the first
time, and then it happened again,

and I found another piece
on the sixth floor.

Wow, wow you really saved the day here.

Well, I'm just glad I could represent
myself on behalf of the building.

The president and the first lady

would like to gift you
a little getaway weekend.

Something to tide you over
until you and the missus

can spring for the real honeymoon.

And look, it'll be good
to have a little time

away from the city to write

that investigative report, right?

I could be indicted
for obstruction of justice.

I entrusted the task of getting me

the written report to John Dean.

We're gonna have you tell the truth

in a way that America likes you.

Convicted Watergate conspirators

might be first to testify
at the formal hearings.

[DEAN] The ship's going down, John.

It might be best
if I explore other options.

Uh, Mr. Mitchell,
if you ever need anything,

I'm right outside your door.

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

- [REPORTER] Here we go.
- Should the Nixon administration

be afraid of you, Mrs. Mitchell?

Well, I think you know
the answer to that.

The committee called. I'm gonna testify.

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT ARGUING]

[CAT MEOWS]

- [SNORING]
- [MEOWING]

Ah, hey, hey, hey.

A-all right, all right,
all right, I'm up.

I'm up, I'm up. Come on.

Come on, Tu... Tuffy, come on.

I got you, okay, breakfast time.

[PETEY GREENE]
That was pretty Patti Austin

with a little soul for your bowl on WOL.

I'll tell it to the hot,
and I'll tell it to the cold.

I'll tell it to the young,
and I'll tell it to the old.

This is Petey Greene's Washington,

and the whole town's
burnin' a hunk of funk

'cause we got Senate
Watergate hearings this week.

- [FAUCET RATTLING]
- Ooh, I can't wait to see

which one of these turkeys is gonna fry.

- Speaking of which...
- [METALLIC THUD]

[PETEY GREENE]
...this next one's going out

to that funky turncoat, John Dean.

We got The O'Jays with "Back Stabbers."

[THE O'JAYS] ♪ What they do ♪

♪ They smilin' in your face ♪

♪ All the time ♪
♪ They wanna take your place ♪

♪ The back stabbers ♪

♪ Back stabbers ♪

♪ They smilin' in your face ♪

♪ All the time ♪
♪ They wanna take your place ♪

♪ The back stabbers ♪

♪ Back stabbers ♪

♪ All you fellas ♪

♪ Who have someone ♪

♪ And you really care, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Then it's all of you fellas ♪

♪ Who better beware ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody's out to get your name ♪

- [CAT MEOWS]
- What are you looking at?

[O'JAYS] ♪ A few of your buddies ♪

♪ They sure look shady ♪

♪ Blades are long ♪

♪ Clenched tight in their fist ♪

♪ Aimin' straight at your back ♪

♪ And I don't think they'll miss... ♪

Tuffy, how do I look?

Like a cat who's gonna be
on the cover of Jetmagazine?

[TUFFY MEOWS]

[PURRING]

Speechless.

[REPORTER] So, Mr. Wills,

how's life been for you
since the burglary?

[FRANK] Well, you know how it be.

Sometimes up, sometimes down.

Are you dating anyone?

Married? I don't see a ring.

That depends.

Who you asking for?

[CHUCKLES]
Let's just say I have a feeling

our female readers might be interested.

I was seeing someone
before all this, but, uh,

she broke it off a couple weeks ago.

Mm, sorry to hear that.

[PHOTOGRAPHER]
All right, Frank, we're good.

[FRANK] All right.
My man. Thank you, sir.

Yeah, uh, it's copacetic.

Tuffy never really took kind
to her anyway.

Tuffy?

- He's my cat.
- Hmm.

He can always tell when I'm
headed in the wrong direction,

and he has a way
of letting me know it too.

Sounds like a good companion.

Cheap date too.

Tuna's, what, a quarter these days?

[LAUGHS]

Must be interesting
working in a building

that's become the center
of a national scandal.

Well, actually,
I'm not employed here anymore.

Management let me go a few weeks ago.

Said I was... becoming
too much of a distraction.

Anyway, I'm looking for a new gig.

I'm not saying they shut me out, but...

it's been a lot harder
than I thought it'd be.

What's this?

My number.

Don't get any ideas.

I adjunct over at Howard.

This Jetthing's just freelance.

I happen to know
that the security department

needs a coordinator.

- [FRANK] Coordinator?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, sh**t, I can coordinate anything.

See?

- Coordinated.
- [LAUGHS]

I'll get you an interview.

[FRANK] Mm-hmm. Great.

And, um, after that?

What you mean, "After that?"

I was thinking...

dinner, maybe?

So when I said, "Don't get any ideas"...

I got 'em anyway.

Ah, okay. [LAUGHS]

Well, take care, Mr. Wills.

[FRANK] ♪ Smilin' in your face ♪

♪ All the time ♪
♪ They wanna take your place ♪

♪ The back stabbers ♪

♪ Back stabbers ♪

[HUMMING]

[SIGHS]

Man.

[SIGHS]

Mr. Tuffy,

your lobster has arrived,

courtesy of Howard University.

Hey, you ever met a Howard girl, Tuffy?

Ooh, this one's nice.

You would've been proud of me, boy.

Hey, I made her laugh
and everything, uh,

cracked a few jokes.

But she ain't easy.

She is as smart as an ankle sprain, boy,

I can tell you that much.

A'ight, boy. Come and get it.

[CLICKING TONGUE] Tuffy?

Tuffy?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, sh*t.

No, no, no, no, no.

Tuffy!

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

Call me once you land in Little Rock.

Like I said, if you decide

to spend a little longer down there...

Oh, nice try. We'll see you on Monday.

Sweetheart.

Well, you look like a lesbian.

[PERSON] Martha.

Well, hi, Lloyd. How are you?

[LLOYD] Good. Good.

Glad I caught you before you left.

Is it true?

You'll be testifying against
the president next week?

Yes, yes, it is true, but before that,

I am focusing on my
goodwill trip to Pine Bluff.

My daughter and I are going down there.

We're gonna go to a luncheon
at the historical society.

We'll be the honored guests.

Marty's so excited.

No, I'm not.

[MARTHA] She's just being modest.

Get in the car.

[LLOYD] Attorney General Mitchell,

how do you feel about your wife

potentially speaking to the Senate?

Oh, as usual, I support Martha

in whatever she decides to do.

Except there's no deciding left to do.

I am testifying on Monday.

[MITCHELL] Right, that's the plan.

Not the plan, the facts.

I really think you should
think about spending

a little more time down there.

Might be very good for you

to get away from all this...
And for Marty too.

Love you. Don't slam the door.

Mr. Mitchell, do you have any thoughts

on John Dean's upcoming testimony?

Takes more than a smile
to take on the U.S. government.

Kid's gonna need a f*cking miracle.

[ANNOUNCER OVER TV]
Programs regularly scheduled

for this time will not be seen today

in order that we might bring you

the following NBC News Special Report.

Watergate: Senate Hearings.

[LAWYER] Mr. Dean,
would you care to describe

what documents have been
made available to you?

As my lawyer detailed earlier, I...

I don't think you should say "lawyer."

Just say "my counsel,"

'cause people do not
like lawyers... no offense.

[DEAN] Okay.

As my counsel detailed earlier,

I maintain an extensive log of clippings

to which I refer with some regularity.

And how do these clippings

relate to the question, exactly?

Uh, well, um... [CLEARS THROAT]

...my meetings with the...
With the president... no?

Uh, I was often dealing

with containment of press issues...

"Containment"?
I just think that sounds evil.

I mean, what's he working on,
a nuclear reactor?

I agree with that, actually.

- Wh...
- [MO] Well, good.

Well, what should I call it, then?

Don't call it anything.

If a committee member
gives you a question like that,

throw it to me, and I'll answer it.

No, no. Won't that make him look weak?

[SIGHS]

Why don't we take a little break, okay?

Sounds like the best idea
you've had all day.

[DEAN] Okay.

I think those are the ones.

[DEAN] Baby-baby, I love
how much you're helping,

how much you care, but...

you know, trial prep is what
Shaffer does for a living.

Why don't we let him
take the lead on this?

But this isn't just
some stuffy jury trial, John.

This is a television show
for the American public.

Yeah.

God, I don't know
how you're staying so calm.

[MO] Well, 'cause
we're in this together.

Just the two of us
against the world, huh?

[MO] Yeah.

Well, three of us now
'cause of the baby.

[DEAN] Hmm?

What... wait, what did you just say?

- Hmm?
- [DEAN] What? No.

- What'd you just say? That...
- I didn't say anything.

- No. Come on.
- [MO] Wait, you said something.

- [DEAN] Are you serious?
- Are you pregnant?

- Wait, really?
- Yup.

Like, seven weeks, really.

Oh, my God.

Oh, jeez, I don't wanna squash it.

I'm so sorry. I... oh, my God.

Wait, just take these off. Come here.

Oh, my God.

[LIVELY BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

[SINGERS] Whoa! Yay!

- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
- Whoo!

- Oh, yeah!
- Yee-haw!

- Hey!
- Yeah!

♪ Way down in Arkansas ♪

♪ Way down in Arkansas ♪

♪ That's where I been ♪
♪ And I'm goin' again ♪

♪ Way down in Arkansas ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ Whoa, I had a mule ♪
♪ And he weren't no fool ♪

♪ Best mule you ever saw ♪

♪ I heard him say "I think I'll stay ♪"

♪ Down here in Arkansas" ♪

♪ Way down in Arkansas ♪

- ♪ Way down in Arkansas... ♪
- [MARTHA] Oh, thank you.

[ZOLTON] You're welcome.

[MARTHA GASPS]

Do you smell that? Pear trees in bloom.

[MARTY] Smells like death.

[MARTHA] We should go later
by Gillan's Market,

get some pears and some potato salad.

And then we can go
by Sampsons shoe store.

Did I ever tell you
I was briefly a foot model?

- [MARTY] That's weird.
- [MARTHA CHUCKLES]

[MARTY] Did you come here a lot
when you were a kid?

[MARTHA] Oh, no.

The country club
raised the drawbridge on us

the day my daddy skipped town.

My mama tried to charm
and cajole her way back in,

but it was never gonna happen.

These people have
a sixth sense for weakness.

- That sounds scary.
- It is. Keep your guard up.

[MARTY CHUCKLES]

Oh, my goodness, is that...

Oh, it is. That's Susan Wales
and Henry Daniels.

Hey, whoo, whoo! Henry! Susan!

It's Martha Beall. Class of ' .

- [HENRY] Get in the car.
- Hey, Henry.

Well, I guess they didn't recognize me.

Oh, look at the poster.

Wow.

Where are people?

Where are people?

Oh! [GIGGLES]

I love its gentle warble.

I love its gentle flow.

I love to wind my tongue up.

[BOTH] And I love to let it go!

[PERSON LAUGHS]

Oh, my God.

[MARTHA] I almost forgot about that.

Oh, I wish I could.

[LAUGHTER]

Come here, baby.

This is one of Mama's
oldest friends, Lurleen Landry.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, looking at you,
it's like... it's like

looking in the past and seeing an angel.

You are just the perfect
picture of your mother.

I would say attendance
seems a little light.

[LURLEEN] Yeah, well,
you know, we had some

last-minute cancellations.

It seems your mama is quite the
controversial lady these days.

Mm, I guess I didn't realize
being honest

was so controversial.

Oh, honey, this is Arkansas.

It's too humid for honesty.

You want some lemonade, sweetheart?

- Can I?
- Of course, darling.

- [LURLEEN CHUCKLES]
- Sure.

- [LURLEEN] Oh, she's so pretty.
- [MARTHA CHUCKLES]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[ERVIN] And, uh, now, Mr. Magruder,

I'd like to turn the questions over

to my distinguished colleague
from Florida,

Senator Edward Gurney.

Uh, thank you, Mr. Chairman.

Mr. Magruder, over the course
of this hearing,

you have struggled to put forth
a straightforward answer

to even the most elementary questions.

So I will ask you once again.

Did you at any point have
any operational knowledge

of the break-in
at the Watergate complex?

I do not recall, Senator.

[GURNEY] Were you aware

that the proposed espionage activities

were to be paid for
using campaign funds?

I do not recall, Senator.

Do you recall any of the directives

that you, uh, undertook

at the Committee
to Re-elect the President?

Uh, well, uh, that would
have to depend, of course,

on what directives
you were referring to, Senator,

but, uh, in general,
I would have to say that...

That you do not recall?

Uh, yeah, that's correct, Senator.

[ERVIN] Son, did you suffer
some acute brain injury

on your way into the rotunda
this morning?

[LAUGHTER]

No, si... no, sir, I did n... I did not.

- Mr. Cookie Monster?
- Huh?

Did you take the cookies?

Uh... [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[MO CHUCKLES]

Me no recall.

[INTERVIEWER] You don't recall?

[COOKIE MONSTER] Me fuzzy on that one.

[INTERVIEWER] You're fuzzy, period.

[KERMIT] Uh, I object.

[LAUGHING] Oh, come on.

That is funny.

[DEAN] It-it-it's really not.

That is Jeb up there.
Cookie Monster is-is Jeb.

They made him into a laughingstock,

and they're gonna do the same to me.

Who am I gonna be, Beaker?

The whole thing is-is designed
to make you look guilty.

[MO] Baby, you're being paranoid.

You're not on trial.

[DEAN] Yet.

I'm not on trial yet.

If I f*ck this up, I could be.

I could kiss my credibility goodbye.

Well, you'll have the
Democratic senators on your side.

[SCOFFS] Democrats.

With friends like them,
who needs enemies?

[MO] Mm.

It doesn't matter what glasses
I wear or how much I rehearse.

I'm facing off against the
president of the United States.

How do I not look small up there?

[KERMIT] Uh, Mr. MacNeil, uh,
we-we've been sitting here...

You get rid of that guy.

[KERMIT] ...two and a half minutes

answering your questions,

and-and I just hope that
we can finish this up soon,

because my client here
is almost out of patience.

[COOKIE MONSTER] Yeah,
almost out of cookies too.

[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

- Thank you.
- Wow.

They don't call it
dragon rice for nothing.

This is a lot.

And yet there's more.

Mambo sauce, trust me.

Mm, no, no.

You don't wanna drizzle.
You wanna bathe.

You wanna just, like,

really get nasty.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it. Mix it in good.

Oh.

I'm sorry, I'm-I'm not even
too good with these.

Oh, sh*t.

It's okay. Go ahead.

- Oh, sh*t.
- [JANELLE] Mm-hmm.

More. Give me some more.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

So you been keeping up
with the latest Watergate drama?

Oh, um...

you know, off and on.

That Magruder testimony
was excruciating, wasn't it?

- Magruder?
- Mm-hmm.

He's the deputy campaign director

under John Mitchell.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Magruder.
Right on, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

[JANELLE] I mean,
it's bad enough that Nixon

is a narcissistic crypto-fascist,

but does he have to surround himself

with such hopeless dipshits?

I'm sorry, you must be tired
of hearing about Watergate.

It's not that. It's just...

I was thinking about my cat.

He went missing yesterday.

Oh, no.

He's ran off twice before,

but he always comes back
after a day or so.

You know, electromagnetic
fields and whatnot.

I'm sorry, electromagnetic fields?

Yeah, see, cats have, like,
iron in their ears.

Helps them sense the Earth's
electromagnetic fields, you know.

Helps them sense, uh,
where they're going,

how to get back home.

At least that's what my uncle
used to tell me.

He was a vet back in North Augusta.

Hold up. You're from North Augusta?

[FRANK] Mm-hmm.

What part?

Round Belvedere. Why?

I'm a Clearwater girl.

- G'on.
- [LAUGHTER]

What school'd you go to?

Jefferson High. Bulldogs. You?

Pius X.

[FRANK] I knew it.

See, I knew you were fancy

from the first time I saw you.

St. Pius was not fancy.

Lord, have mercy, if Miss Margie Wills

knew her son was having some
dragon rice with a Pius girl...

hmm.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, listen, um, a friend of mine

is having a birthday thing
at a bar across town.

Wanna join? Grab a drink?

That depends.

You, um...

you got some room in your bag

for some of this here mambo sauce?

[LAUGHTER]

Mm-hmm.

- [JANELLE LAUGHS]
- [FRANK CLEARS THROAT]

- Let's see what she learned.
- Yes, sir.

[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV]

♪ ♪

Am I a winter or a spring?

[MARTHA] You're an autumn like me.

See, we have, uh, olive undertones.

- Is that bad?
- [MARTHA] Mm.

It's unique.

Boys'll go nuts. Trust me.

Boys think I'm weird.

[MARTHA] Boys thought I was weird, too,

until I was at least.

They all went for Lurleen.

You see where that got her,

lurking around the country club
like some haunted radiator.

[MARTY LAUGHS]

I thought you and Lurleen were friends.

Mm. Are you kidding?

That rich-girl Goody Two-shoes,

ugh, she was my mama's favorite.

I never heard the end of it.

"Darling, why can't you be
more like Lurleen Landry?

"Lurleen Landry knows
her entire chromatic scale

"and two languages.

Isn't she brilliant?"

[LAUGHTER]

But Lord knows she's had a hard time

with that forehead of hers.

[LAUGHS] Mom! That is so mean.

[LAUGHTER]

We used to have a lot more fun,

before Dad went to work for Uncle d*ck.

Oh, come on, now, nothing's changed.

What if we stayed
in Pine Bluff a little longer?

You could show me more places
from when you were a kid,

and we could go dress shopping.

I don't know.

You don't have to testify.

You could just tell them
that you changed your mind.

Dad said that that would be fine.

Uh, well, your daddy
says a lot of things.

Are you guys gonna get a divorce?

No.

Don't be ridiculous. We're a family.

Then why are you talking
to the papers all the time,

making Dad into a villain?

Can you... can you just stop?

What would be so bad about that?

And let Nixon and the whole lot of them
just get away with it?

Kids at school make fun of me
because of you, Mom.

There's reporters
everywhere I go because of you.

You might think
what you're doing is helping...

...but all I want
is for things to go back

to the way they were.

I just want us to be normal again.

[PHONE RINGING]

Mitchell.

[MARTHA] Hey, sleepyhead.
Did I wake you?

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

I was wondering when you'd call.

Sorry, I was occupied with Marty.

[MITCHELL] You two having
a hootenanny down there?

No, just a real nice time.

You gonna watch the, uh,
festivities tomorrow?

Probably not.

Although Lurleen Landry did invite us

over to her house
for a John Dean watch party.

Yeah, well, maybe you should project it

on her forehead.

[LAUGHS]

She was sweet to me today.

It was actually kind of nice to see her.

Mm, well, maybe you should go
to her little party.

I mean, the whole country's
gonna be watching.

Listen, I was, um...

I was thinking maybe you're right.

Maybe we could extend
our stay here a little longer.

Wh-what about your testimony?

Well, maybe it can wait.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

Have fun down there.

- Bye-bye, now.
- [MITCHELL] Bye-bye.

Everything okay?

[SIGHS] Yeah.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[JANELLE] Excuse me.

[FRANK] Excuse me.

Uh, when you said your friend's
birthday was at a bar,

I thought you meant something
more, you know, mellowed out.

Stop.

Everyone's gonna love you.
Don't overthink it.

[FRANK] All right.

[PERSON] Janelle. Janelle!

[JANELLE] Oh, hey. Excuse me. Excuse me.

- [JANELLE] Hey!
- Hi!

[JANELLE] How's the birthday boy?

Twenty-five and feeling fine,
thank you very much.

Frank, this is Marc and Mary.

They work on the Watergate Committee.

Guys, this is the Frank.

Oh, Frank. Oh, my...
Babe, this is Frank Wills.

He is the security guard
who caught the guys.

Holy sh*t, man.

You're the guy who made this all happen.

Yeah, I guess so. [CHUCKLES] I-in a way.

No, not in away. In the way.

You got in the way of Nixon

trying to enact
his fascist f*cking agenda.

[MARY LAUGHS]

'Cause Nixon's a f*cking fascist!

- Hey, Janelle. Janelle!
- Hey, girl, come over here.

Come on.

- Get over here.
- Come on, y'all.

Ooh! How are you? Damn, you lovely.

[JANELLE] Elijah.

I'd like you to meet
a good friend of mine.

Frank Wills, this is Elijah Cummings.

It's an honor to meet you, brother.

Janelle's told me a lot about you.

Oh, I guess I'm a popular subject.

This is Tina and Hillary.
They work over on the Hill.

- Hey.
- Hi.

And I know it's probably
already been expressed to you,

but I would like to thank you.

You done a great good for this nation.

Oh, um, just doing my job.

Really? Well, doing your job properly

is plenty heroic in D.C. these days.

Rest of us stuck
running on campus sit-ins.

Well, hey, now, that is
heroic work too, so...

Yeah, if you'd show up more often.

- Yeah.
- Whoo! Fair enough, sister.

But this man, this man,

he brought the president to his knees.

So what are you gonna do
with your new position

in the national consciousness, brother?

[LAUGHING] Consciousness? Excuse me?

You got a name now, a platform.

A lot of people
would k*ll for that chance.

Y-yeah, um...

well, I... there are
a lot of, uh, issues

I'd like to address
in the world currently,

such as...

mostly in some form
of helping other people,

you know, to ensure them
that Frank Wills' name...

I mean, that is my name...
Um, to assure them

that Frank Wills' name is, um, mentioned

not only in the Watergate
but, um, still in history.

And I want to do some type
of form of, you know,

helping humanitarians.

I don't... I don't exactly have

an exact plan of how to do that,

but yeah, I wanna
do something to help somebody.

Well, uh, I think it's time
for another round.

- You a whiskey man?
- No.

- [ELIJAH] You sure?
- I'm sure. Thank you.

[ELIJAH] All right, brother.
I know you want something.

- Oh, okay.
- [ELIJAH LAUGHS]

[ELIJAH] Come on over here.

Look at you, coming in here
lookin' sweet like a peach cobbler.

[JANELLE] Why, thank you.

Man to man,
you gonna try for a book deal?

Excuse me, I gotta use the restroom.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PERSON] Oh my God!

[PERSON] ...change the country.

Wow. Oh, my God this is...

[CHUCKLES] ...this is different.

- How's, uh, prep coming along?
- [DEAN] Ugh.

I'm thinking when
the mob erect the guillotine,

you should probably stand
on the Senate steps

so that I can see you
as my head hits the basket.

[SIGHS] Honey.

Look at me.

For the thousandth time,
you're gonna do great.

You really believe that?

I really believe it.

Just gotta get through this week.

[DEAN] Yeah.

Couldn't do any of this
without you, you know?

You make me better, you really do.

We make each other better, you mean.

[DEAN] Right.
That's exactly what I meant.

- Right.
- [DEAN CHUCKLES]

So what are we going for?

I guess the yellow matches the Porsche.

Can you get a baby
in the back of a Porsche?

- [MO GASPS]
- [DEAN] I guess you didn't want

the baby sleeping under
a "f*ck Communism" sign, eh?

What about my beer cans?

You're putting those back, right?

You know, baby's gotta learn to drink.

[SOFT APPREHENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

Something wrong?

What? No. I'm... I just...

Yeah, I think I'm just tired.

Okay.

All right.

♪ ♪

- You upset about something?
- No, no.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

[DEAN] You sure?
I'm getting a little upsetness.

No, I don't... I'm fine. I'm happy.

I'm just, um... I'm in a zone.

- I love you.
- [MO] Love you.

Don't stay up too late.

[MO] Okay.

♪ ♪

[QUIETLY] f*ck.

[SOBS, CLEARS THROAT]

[ANNOUNCER] And now we resume
live coverage

of the Senate Watergate hearings.

Let's go talk to Dan Shore,

who is outside the committee room. Dan?

[DAN] Uh, yes, George.

Uh, while you're looking at John Dean,

I'm holding here the first pages

of what's expected to be
pages of testimony

that Mr. Dean will be delivering today.

[PETEY GREENE] You ask me, John Dean's

a half a gallon of nothing much.

What's he gonna give a nation

so used by this administration?

But he do look slick,
I'll give him that.

♪ ♪

[ANNOUNCER OVER RADIO]
By his own admission,

Mr. Dean was a partial coconspirator

in the president's alleged
obstruction of justice.

Dean was fired by Nixon
in April of this year...

- [PHONE RINGING]
- ...after he refused

to publicly absolve the White House

of any blame in the break-in.

[BARBARA WALTERS]
According to sources familiar

with his opening statement,
the former White House counsel

and admitted coconspirator
intends to level

several criminal claims
against President Nixon,

including obstruction of justice.

Our coverage of the Watergate hearings

live from Washington
will continue in a moment.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[LURLEEN] Oh, I'll get it.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Hey, you fall, I'm not helping you.

[GASPS] Martha!

Oh, my gosh, I didn't know
if you'd make it. [LAUGHS]

Come on in! [GASPS]

Look at you
in your precious little dress.

- She picked it out.
- [LURLEEN CHUCKLES]

Ma'am.

Hello. Uh, here.

You wanna put that down over here?

[MARTHA] Thank you.

Oh, look at that.

[LURLEEN] Isn't that darling?

You and your sweet mama. [CHUCKLES]

I wanted you to see that

before I gave it
to the historical society.

You know how she always
wanted to be a part of things.

- [MARTHA] Oh, yeah.
- Now she really can be.

Oh, Lurleen, I just, um...

I just wanted to say
thank you for having me here.

It's been real nice to be back home.

Oh, Martha Beall,

you always have a home in Pine Bluff.

Come on, you want a drink?
God knows you need a drink.

- [MARTHA] I need a drink.
- [LURLEEN LAUGHS]

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

They're ready for you, Mr. Dean.

[SHAFFER] All right.

[SIGHS] Time to knock them dead
in there, champ.

Let's go.

I can't.

What's that?

C... I can't. We-we have to call it off.

[SHAFFER] We can't call it off.

Y-you're up in five minutes.
Stop f*cking around.

I'm not joking. I can't do it!

I can't go up there.

[SHAFFER SCOFFS]

That is perfect.

Two of you wanted to do this
without a lawyer,

and, what, now you're chickening out?

They will see right through me.

I'm a fraud. Don't you get it?
No one will believe me.

I mean, this is just too...
This is too much.

Hey, this is not about you anymore.

This is about everything
that we have worked towards,

and you're not going
to f*ck this up now, okay?

Here's what we're gonna do.

You're gonna stop whatever
this is, this blubbering,

pull yourself together.

We'll walk into that room together,

and you'll give your testimony
just like we practiced.

Remember the three things?

No slumping, no fumbling
your words, no excuses.

Do you think this is hard?

Because this is not hard.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

Put on your coat, and let's go.

♪ ♪

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

[GAVEL POUNDS]

Mr. Dean, would you raise your hand?

Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,

nothing but the truth, so help you God?

I do.

[ERVIN] You may be seated.

All right, good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the th day
of public testimony

for the Watergate subcommittee.

I can't help but notice
that our featured speaker here,

Mr. John Dean, is seated
without counsel present.

Is that a mistake, Sir?

[DEAN] Uh, no, sir, it is not.

My counsel is present in the room,

but I intend to testify alone.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Son, excuse me for asking,

but why in the hell would you do that?

Because I intend to tell
the truth, Mr. Chairman.

I do not need a lawyer
to help me with that.

Well, gee, aren't you a keeper
of the gosh-durn flame?

All right, would you care to read
your prepared statement, son?

Yes, sir. Thank you.

Chairman Ervin,
members of the committee,

I would like to commence

with a general description
of the atmosphere

that existed in the White House
prior to June .

To one who was in the White House

and became somewhat familiar
with its inner workings,

the Watergate matter
was an inevitable outgrowth

of a climate of excessive concern

over the political impact

of demonstrators,
excessive concern over leaks,

coupled with a do-it-yourself
White House staff

with no regard for the law.

It was not until I joined
the White House staff

in July of

that I had fully realized
the strong feelings

that the president and his staff...

[DEAN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

- I think he's doing great, don't you?
- Yeah.

[DEAN] However, the fact
that many of these elements

culminated with the creation

of a covert intelligence operation

was not by conscious design...
Rather an accident of fate.

Now Mr. Dean, did it worry you

that this Liddy fellow
came up with schemes

involving kidnapping,
prostitution, mugging,

and all the rest of it?

[DEAN] Yes, sir, it did,
and for the record,

I recall Liddy saying that
the girls would be high-class

and the best in the business.

[LAUGHTER]

He's so dreamy.

I smoked a cigarette with him once.

Do kids in D.C. smoke?

If they want to.

[INOUYE] Were you surprised
when you heard

about the break-in on June th?

I was more appalled than surprised.

He's lying.

Seems like he's telling the truth.

[SCOFFS] How do you know,
Harold? You've never been to D.C.

I've been to Harrisburg once.

It's all smoke and mirrors, you see.

Now, Dean, he's a climber.

He's not the best I've
ever seen... that'd be Lyndon...

But he's not the worst either.

You know how D.C. lawyers are.

The only difference
between them and gigolos is,

a gigolo only screws
one person at a time.

[LAUGHS] Well, you should know.
You're married to one.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesus Christ, would you two
quiet down already?

You're just like him.

Get on TV every day like a fool.

You're bringing down our president.

Wow, golly,

didn't realize I was so powerful.

[PERSON] Golly.
You're a Southern girl, huh?

In the South, we believe in America.

We don't need no cheap
road act coming here

and holding court like
you're some kinda damn queen.

Loudmouth f*cking c**t.

[LURLEEN] Clarence!

Think you've had enough.

It's all right. It's all right.

It's probably best that
Clarence doesn't remember this

in the morning. Sit down, sit down.

I'm gonna get myself a drink.
I'll get you a fresh one too.

[LOW APPREHENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

[PERSON] If you were to die,

how would you want it to happen?

Um, drowning, maybe?

[PERSON CHUCKLES, SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Marty, come here, honey.

We need to get going.

What? But we just got here.

I know, but we're gonna
get an early flight tomorrow,

so I want us to go now.

You-you're still testifying?

[MARTHA] Mm-hmm.

[LURLEEN] Everything all right?

Let's be on our way.

So you made me come down here,

and then once I actually
start to have fun

and have friends for once,
you wanna leave?

Excuse me, Marty, would you
consider keeping your voice down?

Excuse me, Lurleen.

Do you know what you should consider?

Bangs.

Why-why can't you just listen
to Dad and let it go?

Why do you have to make
our lives miserable?

You do not know
what you're talking about.

Now, get in the car right now,
without another word.

Uh, all right, calm down, Marty.

Are you sure that's what Mommy said?

She's coming home to testify?

[MARTY] I don't wanna go home.
I don't want her to testify.

Okay, well, I'll be here
when you get back tomorrow

and we-we'll talk about it then, okay?

- [MARTY] Okay, bye.
- Okay, darling.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Diana, get me Senator Gurney.

[ERVIN] Thank you
for your testimony, Mr. Dean.

I'm sure we all appreciate your candor.

All right, the committees
will stand in recess

at the close of business
tomorrow instead of Friday,

until we reconvene again
on Tuesday, July tenth.

[REPORTER] Mr. Dean, Mr. Dean.
How do you feel?

[REPORTER] Everyone seems to
think you did pretty darn good.

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

John.

Thank you very much. Thanks. All right.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

John.

Please.

[NEWS ANCHOR] And so the
committee finishes its work,

and the public and the Senate committee

will have to judge between Mr. Dean

and those who contradict him,
the conflicting parties.

For George Herman and Daniel shore,

this is Nelson Benton,
CBS News, Washington.

[DEAN LAUGHS]

And I was so nervous beforehand.

I'm so sorry I freaked out,
you know, but once I...

Once I locked in, man, when I locked in,

I was in the flow.

You see Gurney's face when I...

When I threw that question back at him?

Oh, my God. It was priceless.

I am gonna fix myself a G&T.

You want one?

Oh, wait, that's right. I'm sorry.

We should go to that restaurant
with the singing waiters.

What's it called? Luciano's?
I love that place.

Oh, God, that's good.

Are you sad you can't have a G&T?

You want me just to fix you
the T or a tea?

I can... I can put the kettle on.

You want it?

It's over. You did it.

[DEAN] Mo.

Moser, what's...

What's going on, hmm?

I'm sorry, the reporters
were mobbing me.

It's not the reporters.

Um...

Okay.

Well, I was sitting there behind you,

and I just started thinking,

"Oh, gosh, once Watergate is over

"and your image is salvaged,

where does that leave, um, me?"

Baby, look, if I can
stay out of jail, we can...

We can move past this.
We can get past anything.

Into your future. Yes.

[DEAN] No, come on.

I think I'm just realizing I can't

just play the dutiful wife
in your story, okay?

Just picking out your clothes
and smiling for the cameras.

I thought I could, but I can't.

I think I'll, um, lose myself.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

I just don't...

Um, I lost the...

baby.

[DEAN] What?

[MO CHUCKLES]

When?

Last night and this morning.

- [DEAN] Oh, my God.
- And it's a long process,

- apparently.
- Oh, my God.

I'd like to be alone.

♪ ♪

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[JANELLE] Frank, are you there?

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

It's Janelle.

Coming, coming.

I've been calling you all day.

Mind if I come in?

[FRANK] Yeah, come on in.

[JANELLE] Ooh, it's, uh, chilly in here.

[FRANK] Yeah, I been leaving
the window open for Tuffy.

[JANELLE] What happened to you
last night?

You left, didn't say goodbye.

[FRANK] Yeah, sorry,
I forgot to tell you.

[JANELLE] I heard about the Howard job.

What happened?

The man on the phone says

I'm a-a controversial political figure.

He says I got notoriety.

Ain't that a trip?

I ain't even got no car,
but yet I got notoriety.

It's that damn university president.

He is a secret Nixon freak.

Janelle, come...

[JANELLE] And listen,
I promise we will fight this.

- Stop.
- [JANELLE] Okay?

There's plenty
of political groups on campus,

and they will gladly
nail his ass to the ground.

J-Janelle, stop. Please.

I don't wanna fight anymore.

I'm going back to Georgia.

What?

[FRANK] Yeah, rent's a lot cheaper

there, and my mama's getting pretty old.

No. No.

Look, listen, I know
it is tough right now,

but you can't just give up.

Give up? Give up on what?

On your friends looking at me like...

Like I'm some kinda dummy?

You're real smart, you know that?

And smart people like you
got this way of...

Of-of-of turning things over
in your head

and-and figuring it all out, you know?

Figure me out
until even I start to believe

what you think about me.

But come on.

Look at this place. Look around.

Look, every morning since that break-in,

I wake up telling myself
that things are gonna change.

But every morning, I keep waking up

in this same damn bed

on this same damn block.

We can get you a better apartment.

See, it ain't about
the apartment, Janelle.

- Okay, okay, look, it's not...
- I can write a...

Write a what?
It's not about the apartment.

Don't you get it?

I don't belong here.

This place...

this place don't want me.

Why would I fight to stay in
a place that doesn't want me?

And that is exactly
how they want you to feel.

They don't want you here.

But that doesn't mean you don't belong.

Frank Wills, listen to me.

You are a hero.

Oh, yeah?

To who?

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ ♪

Ah, for the love of steaming f*ck.

[CHUCKLES] John f*cking Dean.

That slick bastard pulled out

quite a little pirouette
today, didn't he?

Oh, crying out loud.

Hey, uh,

I hear Martha's on deck for Thursday.

Yeah.

How you feeling about that?

[MITCHELL CHUCKLES]

More importantly, how does the president

feel about it?

Well, he's not exactly
thrilled at the prospect

of watching a bunch of senators

bully a woman on national television.

What if the cameras weren't allowed?

Sorry?

What if there were no cameras
in the hearing room?

I mean, that's something
that you could arrange.

Right, Ed?

But if there were no cameras, then, uh,

well, senators would have free rein,

and I don't know that you'd want that.

Martha's, uh... she's pissed off

a lot of people on that committee.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, when I was in the navy,

I was on a PT boat.

You knew... you knew that.

The only thing that kept me sane...

was a monkey.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, a little crab-eating
macaque found in Palau.

[GURNEY] Ah.

I named him Pete,

and, uh, I loved him...

...but, uh, he had a bad habit.

He had, uh...

he had a big appetite,

and he'd rummage in the rations,

and that would drive
my guys mad, of course.

They knew there was not a sh*t
they could do about it.

But then one day...

...Pete got into the medic's bag.

The morphine, the sulfanilamide.

Yeah.

It was bad luck.

Yeah, bad break.

[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS]

When a monkey cries,

Ed, I'll tell you,

sounds like a child.

♪ ♪

Course, it was up to me to put him down.

But, uh, I couldn't do it.

One of my boys took my g*n
from me, said,

"Lieutenant,

"the problem...

with loving something too much..."

"...is that you can't do
what needs to be done."

She's not some monkey, John.

She's your wife.

♪ ♪

[MITCHELL] Ed...

...I trust you'll do
what needs to be done.

♪ ♪

["DIRTY WORK" PLAYING]

♪ ♪

[THE POINTER SISTERS] ♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ You're afraid to pay the fee ♪

♪ So you find yourself somebody ♪

♪ Who can do the job for free ♪

♪ When you need a bit of lovin' ♪

♪ 'Cause your woman's out of town ♪

♪ That's the time you get me runnin' ♪

♪ And you know I'll be around ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪

♪ No more ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Light the candle ♪

♪ Put the lock upon the door ♪

♪ You have sent the maid home early ♪

♪ Like a thousand times before ♪

♪ Like a castle in his corner ♪

♪ In a medieval game ♪

♪ I foresee terrible trouble ♪

♪ And I stay here just the same ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪

♪ No more ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- [CAT MEOWS]
- [FRANK] What?

- Hang on one second, sir.
- [CAT MEOWS]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[CAT MEOWS]

[DRIVER] Son, I can't wait all day.

[CAT MEOWS]

[FRANK] Tuff?

[FRANK LAUGHS]

You came to see me on the cover
of the magazine?

Oh, my boy, we going back home.

Those electromagnetic fields
I was talking about.

Thank you so much.

Hey, got some room for my cat?

[THE POINTER SISTERS]
♪ I'm a fool to do ♪

♪ Your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

- [MO] Hey, John, come here.
- What?

[MO] John, come in here right now.

Come in here!

[NEWS ANCHOR]
There was a surprise witness

at the Watergate hearings today,

and he made a dramatic disclosure.

[DEAN] What's going on?

Alexander Butterfield,
former aide to HR Haldeman,

said that President Nixon ordered secret

electronic listening devices
installed in his offices

and on his telephones.

Butterfield said the listening devices,

or bugs, were installed
in the president's Oval Office

and in a smaller office

in the Executive Office Building.

[THE POINTER SISTERS]
♪ I don't wanna do ♪

♪ Your dirty work ♪

♪ No more ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do Your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪

♪ No more ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪

♪ No more ♪

♪ I'm a fool to do your dirty work ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I don't wanna do your dirty work ♪

[DOOR SLAMS]