03x16 - Bizaardvark Changes Lives

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Amelia.

- What's all that?
- My latest pile of fan mail.

I gotta be honest, I really feel
like I'm changing people's lives.

(scoffs) Changing lives?

That's a little grandiose,
don't you think?

"Dear Amelia, you have changed my life."

I mean, I don't have to tell you guys.

You probably feel the same way
about your channel.

- (both scoff nervously)
- Uh... yeah...

...totally.

Yeah, we're big life-changers.

Our videos change so many lives.

Cool. So what're you
workin' on right now?

- Puke Plane .
- This Time It's Pukier.

Oh... cute.

Cute? No, no, no, no.

Puke Plane was cute.

Puke Plane is totally different.

It's about us saving
a whole plane full of people.

So we, like you, are changing lives.

- Great. Let's see it.
- FRANKIE/PAIGE: No, no, no...

Agh.

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome aboard the Puke Plane,

bound for the National
Upset Stomach Convention.

We know you have many travel options.

We thank you for choosing Puke Plane.

- (rumbling)
- Uh-oh. Turbulence.

I hope that doesn't affect
anyone's digestive system.

Maybe we shouldn't have served
under-cooked shrimp and goat's milk.

Ah, ha-ha. I think we can stop it there.

You get the idea.

No way, you guys finally made
Puke Plane ?! Yes, please!

- No, no, no!
- No, no!

- (throwing up, splatter)
- (screaming)

Oh, no! It's turned into a puke plane!

- And this time, it truly is pukier!
- (throwing up continues)

- (clicks computer key)
- So...

that was Puke Plane.

You two... are artists.

- You know, there are other scenes.
- Without projectile vomiting?

No...

Guys, you don't have to be embarrassed.

Not everyone was put on this earth

to make a difference.
The world needs clowns, too.

Are we... are we clowns?
I don't wanna be a clown!

Nobody wants to be a clown, Paige.

One day you just wake up, realize
you have no other skills

and bam! You're a clown!

Are we just wasting our time
here at the Vuuugle House?

Amelia changed her channel, and is
actually doing good in the world.

And what have we done
that's meaningful? Nothing!

We need to do something.

We need to prove to the
world that Bizaardvark

is more than just hilarious videos.

We can change lives.

Aaaaaaah! It's a pukelear att*ck!

Ahhh...

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey guys. I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.

And today, we're doing our first
"Ask Biz Anything" segment.

Where you, our fans,
can ask us anything.

And if some lives get changed
along the way, so be it.

All right, our first question

comes from Isabella, . She asks:

"What do you guys
like to eat for breakfast?"

Mmm. I see we're getting
real right off the bat.

Isabella, have you ever
tried steel cut oatmeal?

Neither have we, it's gross.

That's why we eat frozen waffles.

They are a breakfast miracle.

They're frozen.

Then seconds later, they're not.

Try 'em, it'll change your life.

- (smacks button)
- PAIGE/FRANKIE: Life changed!

Aww, you went to the button early.

Eh, I feel like we earned it.

All right. Next up, Tim, age , asks:

"Do you guys recommend a separate
shampoo and conditioner,

or shampoo with conditioner in it?"

You came to the right people, Timbo.

You're gonna wanna go all-in-one.

You sound like a busy guy.
Keep it simple.

Trust this girl on hair.
Her new 'do is amazing.

Aww, you noticed!

Of course I noticed, Paige.
It's like inches of hair.

- (smacks button)
- PAIGE/FRANKIE: Life changed!

Ooh, we got a live chat request.

Ready to change lives live?

Hey Bizaardvark, I'm Jackson.

Hey, hit us with your probs, Jacko.

So there's this girl
at my school named Sasha,

and I have a huge crush on her.

I want to ask her to the school
dance but I'm really shy,

and I've never asked out a girl before.

I mean, if she says no, it would
be, like, the worst thing ever.

I'd be so embarrassed
I'd have to switch schools,

and I'd be lost forever.

Like, as a human being.

So, can you guys help me?

BOTH: Uhhhh...

Jackson, can you give us a second?

- (clicks computer key)
- (mute button beeps)

Frankie, we are completely
unqualified to help him.

Okay, I admit, we don't exactly
have a ton of dating experience.

But we're on a roll here!

We've helped a lot of people!
Remember Tim, and his hair?

Yes! And Isabella with whatever she asked.
We k*lled that.

Destroyed!

And now we have a chance to do
some real good for Jackson.

Let's do this.

- (unmute button beeps)
- All right, Jackson,

when you woke up this morning,

did you know that all your problems

were gonna be solved by the greatest

problem solvers in the
history of problem solving?

Well buckle up, Jack att*ck.

Because it's all aboard
the Solution Train!

We're gassed up, wheels up,
and headed to Life Change City!

BOTH: Choo-choo!

♪ ♪

Ugh, nope, I don't think
we're gonna learn how to play

just by staring at the board.

(phone chimes)

Oh sh**t, I'm supposed to take
my college prep test today!

I thought it was next week!

I'm so bad at rememberin' stuff.

Me too. Last week, I couldn't remember

which I loved more,
butterflies or flowers.

Then I remembered,
I love them both equally!

Willow, I'm so sorry. But this
test really is important.

And, I know I was supposed
to watch you today,

but I have to find someone else.

(yelling out)
Can anyone here watch Willow?

- I can watch her.
- (yelling out) Anyone?

Again, I'm completely free.

Oh, you know who'd be great?!

Crazy-Eyed Phil, from under the bridge!

He screams a lot,
but he always has fish.

Amelia, I can watch Willow.
I'm great with kids.

And I'm very responsible.

I've been taking care of this
ant farm for two days.

(ant farm shatters)

Oh, boy...

Ugh, fine.

Guess I have no other choice.

Bernie, you're in charge.

If there's an emergency, call
Crazy-Eyed Phil. He'll know what to do.

All right, Lil Will.
Let's get this party started!

Maybe over here. Ya know,
'cause of the, uh... ants.

So, wanna go look
for shells on the beach?

Why get all sandy when you can find

some of nature's greatest mysteries
right here in the couch?

I do like mysteries. And couches!

Yep, now, here,
let's put on some sunscreen.

But we're staying inside.

Duh, it's to help your arms
glide between the cushions.

Bernie, I don't just throw this
phrase around, but... you're fun!

♪ ♪

All right, Jackson. Here's how
you're gonna ask Sasha to the dance.

You're gonna walk straight up to her
and tell her all your feelings.

- Okay...
- But not all your feelings.

- O-okay...
- (scribbles notes)

You don't want to seem desperate.
Act like you'd be fine

if she didn't go to the dance with you.

Yes! Also show her your sensitive side.

But also, your tough side.

O-okay. Sensitive and tough...

And, I can't reiterate this enough:

- share something personal about yourself.
- But remain mysterious.

Ooh, also use one of those
sticks that ninjas use.

You mean a bowstaff?

I don't know what it's called.

I just know ninjas use it,
and ninjas are cool.

You want to be cool like a
ninja, don't you, Jackson?

I-I guess?

Exactly. No need to thank us.

We just do what we do,
when we do what we do.

♪ ♪

Ah, we've earned this.

Thanks to our advice, Jackson
is going to overcome his fears

and get the girl of his dreams.

Or not.

(gasps) Jackson? What
are you doing here?

And what happened to your face?

I asked Sasha to the dance
exactly how you told me to.

And she said no. Now she hates
me, and it's all your fault.

Hey, uh, not sure if
this is a good time,

but has anyone seen
an angry colony of fire ants?

Or Willow?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

How could this have happened?
Are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

I just embarrassed myself in
front of the girl of my dreams.

I thought you guys knew
what you were talking about.

BOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm sure it's not that bad.
Tell us what happened.

Okay.

You told me to tell Sasha
I was interested in her...

Sasha, you are a beautiful flower

in the meadow that is middle school.

Would you go to the dance with me?

But you also told me
not to seem desperate.

Or, go with someone else, I don't care.

Uh...

You said that out loud? To a girl?

Oh yeah. And there's more.

You told me to show Sasha
my sensitive side...

My feelings for you
are as deep as the ocean.

But also my tough side.

I will give you five dollars
to punch me in the face

as hard as you can.

What?

BOTH: What?!

Then you told me
to share something personal.

My favorite dog is the beagle.

But you also told me to be mysterious.

(loud whisper) You will never know me.

Okay, that's super weird.

Ohh, that's how you got a black
eye, because she punched you.

She didn't punch me!

I got this because someone
told me to bring a bowstaff.

If I hadn't been swinging that
bowstaff, I would've seen the ball.

Okay, to be fair, I specifically
said "ninja stick."

It's the same thing!

It is the same thing.

The advice you gave me was terrible.

I made a fool out of myself,

and now I have to go to the dance alone.
Thanks a lot.

Well, we tried. Guess we're just
not cut out to change lives.

Are you saying we should give up?

Did Kevin Durant give up
before he reached

the National Baseball Championship?

That sounds wrong.

Did I give up when I realized Kevin
Durant doesn't play baseball?

That's happening right now, so... no?

Frankie, this kid needs our help.

This could be
our chance to change a life.

Jackson chose us.

(whispers) Will we choose him?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you 'cause
you whispered for some reason.

I-I said, "Will we choose him?"

Oh, ha!

- I thought you said, "Will a moose swim?
- (laughs)

Either way, my answer is yes.

♪ ♪

(electronic music)

Uh... Willow? What are you doing?

I'm gettin' yoked!

Hang on, we're almost done
with this set.

Remember, finish strong.

♪ Prin-cess Pup-pyyyy! ♪

♪ She's got Puppy Power! ♪

- Yeah!
- Woo!

BOTH: Rahh!

What's the deals, Meels on Heels?

You're working out, and
you're talking like Bernie?

The Bern-man's been
teaching me lots of things.

Did you know cargo pockets can
hold an entire quesadilla?

It took me six years to learn that.

Coo-coo.

Did-did you just say "coo-coo"?

Yeah, like Bernie does!

He's my new best friend.

Willow, a word?

Young lady, I do not approve
of you being best friends

with Bernie Schotz.

Would this change your mind?

Ew! Flexing to make an irrelevant point?

That's exactly what Bernie would do!

He is not someone
to model your life after.

Why not? He's fun!

Look, a lift sesh and a couple
"coo-coo" s can be fun,

but before you know it, you'll
be having delusional fantasies.

I'm worried about your future, Willow.

♪ Future Willow! ♪

♪ She has future things on her arms! ♪

♪ Something, something,
also she skips! ♪

Yeah...

(gasps) You just had a fantasy!

Willow, I'm sorry, but I forbid you

from hanging out with Bernie Schotz.

- What?!
- As long as you live under

my roof, you'll follow
my rules, young lady!

Not-coo, not-coo.

I heard that, missy.

I am this close to taking away skipping.

♪ ♪

All right.

There he is.

Let's walk up on that stage,

and act like we're both Jackson's dates.

Sasha will be so jealous she'll
reconsider, and wanna be his date.

Amen, sister. Right after
we hit the snack table...

Oh, we're doing this now?

(microphone feedback)

Whaddup, Jackson's middle school?

Now, you might think this fine young
gentleman doesn't have a date,

and you're right. He has two.

Us, we, we're the us, the dates.

- What are you guys doing?!
- We're helping!

Sasha? Sasha, if you're out there,

you might want to reconsider your
opinion of this fine, young man

because his two dates
are in high school.

We can watch PG- movies, and babysit,

and almost get our driver's license...

- Permit.
- Permit!

That's right, we're
almost, kind of drivers!

Which makes us cool,

which makes our date, Jackson,
by association, very cool.

So go, dance, and know
that Jackson is cool,

and full of dates.

Not the fruit.

(microphone feedback)

♪ ♪

Guys, are you kidding me?!

No need to thank us. We just
see lives, and change them.

PAIGE & FRANKIE: Life changed!

I didn't know you brought the button!

Hey, I can be fun sometimes, too.

These two are also your dates?

How many girls did you
ask to this dance?

- I... no... that's not...
- Save it.

My mom warned me about boys like you

with your older lady girlfriends,

and your ninja sticks.

Just don't talk to me ever again.

- Who was that?
- Sasha!

Wait, you got Sasha to go
with you to the dance?

Yes. I managed to fix
everything with her by myself.

But now, thanks to you two,
she thinks I'm a jerk.

- Jackson, we're so sorry.
- We just wanted to help.

Well, you aren't helping.
You keep making things worse.

I never want to see either of you
ever again. You ruined my life!

PAIGE & FRANKIE: Life changed!

Nobody asked you, button!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Well, we're officially failures.

PAIGE & FRANKIE: Failures!

Why'd we even make that button?

Because deep down, Paige... we knew.

Hey guys, you got some fan mail.

- No way! All those are for us?
- Maybe we're not failures!

Huh? No. These are all mine.

You got this coupon
from Fran's Fan Store.

"Never give up on savings."

- Hmm.
- Thanks a lot, Fran's Fan Store.

Wait, Paige.

It's a sign!

It says, "never give up."

Yeah, "on savings."

No, on saving... Jackson.

That's a bit of a stretch.

Is it, Paige?

Then why would it be
specifically addressed to us...

"Resident."

Uh...

The reason we got into this mishegoss

is we wanted to be taken seriously.

Do you want to be a clown, Paige?

No. I don't even like
to be in small cars

with two other people.

Then we can't give up. In the words
of Fran from Fran's Fan Store,

"Act Now."

All right, that one worked.

But what are we gonna do?

When the principal kicked us
out of the dance,

he said we weren't allowed
in the school ever again.

Yeah. Inside. He never said
anything about outside.

I have an idea.

Is it gonna get us out of the mishegoss?

Paige, please. Leave the Yiddish to me.

♪ ♪

(door closes)

Hey, Meels!

Hey, Willow.

Look, before we go to bed,

I just want to say
I'm sorry about before.

- WILLOW: You're fun!
- Yeah, usually I am fun.

But, I'm also your big sister,

- and that means...
- WILLOW: Hey, Meels!

Hey, Willow.

Wait...

we already exchanged pleasantries.

(gasps)

Bernie...

(music playing from TV)

MOVIE NARRATOR: There was only
one way for Princess Puppy

to rescue the Unicorn Queen.

Go through The Big Wolf Forest...

(wolf howls)

I cover Mr. Bear Bear's eyes
during the scary parts.

(creepy howling)

Now I'm scared!

I got you, brah.

Willow! What're you doing?!

Uh, watching a movie with Bernie.

I mean, eating pocket food.

I mean, disobeying you.

I mean, you're sleeping
right now, and this is a dream.

Saved it.

You didn't save anything.

I specifically told you
not to hang out with Bernie.

BERNIE: Did they just say my name?
I should probably respond.

But I wanna see how this movie ends.
I know!

I'll make it seem like I'm listening
by saying random smart things.

You don't wanna be like Bernie!

He says random dumb things, and
then compliments himself on them!

You know, a puppy is actually
a younger version of a dog.

Nice.

You can't pick who my friends are
gonna be. That includes Bernie.

Uh, they said your name again.
Quick, say something

so they don't know
you're watching Princess Puppy.

Uhhh, you know, a princess is
actually a lady version of a prince.

Nice.

Look, Willow, do you really
want to spend your childhood

lifting weights and eatin'
food out of your pockets?

Well, why not?

Exercising and not wasting
food are both good things.

Huh...

Well, I guess when you
put it that way...

You know what I think?

I think someone is scared to find out

that if they hang out with Bernie,
they just might have fun, too.

Whoa.

So, take a seat.
Enjoy the movie with us.

Okay.

Is that cool with you, Bernie?

Uh-oh, I heard Bernie.

Better say something
not related to this movie.

This movie is awesome.

- Nice.
- Nice.

- Nice.
- Nice.

- Nice.
- Nice.

- Nice.
- Nice.

This was a mistake.

Yeah, this movie's garbage.

♪ ♪

Okay, we are technically
not inside Jackson's school.

It's drone time.

Frankie, are you sure
this is gonna work?

We don't even know how to fly a drone.

No, the guy at the store
said it's super easy to fly.

He had a name tag and everything.

- I dunno, Frankie...
- Oh, no, no, he did, it said "Oswaldo."

This tablet and the screen
on the controller

will let us talk to Jackson.

So please, put your seats in
their full and upright positi...

oopsie! It's already flying!

(cheering)

- FRANKIE: Hey, Jackson!
- PAIGE: Remember us?

Are you kidding?

I said I never wanted to see you again!
Just leave me alone.

We would never leave you
alone in your time of need!

So, if you give us one more chance,

we know we'll rise to the occasion.

Ooh, when you said "rise," you
should've made the drone rise.

Oh darn, that would've been good.

I'll try to work it in casually.

Jackson, we're here for you, and rise.

- PAIGE: What's happening?!
- FRANKIE: It's out of control!

(drone blades whirring)

What-what are you doing?

This thing is harder
to fly than it looks.

You're a liar, Oswaldo!

(students shriek)

- Ahh! Okay!
- Whoa!

(students yell)

(dramatic music)

Whoaa, ohh!

(electronic beeps)

(screams) Oww!

Uh-oh...

My ankle. I think it's sprained.

I'm up for a soccer scholarship,
and the tryouts are tomorrow!

My life is over!

BOTH: Uhhh...

- This is bad.
- So bad.

Hey, how long do you think
I need to wait

before I go in and get my drone back?

Oh, no, Frankie, look, is that Sasha?

Oh, my gosh, Jackson, are you okay?

Those crazy Bizaardvark girls
att*cked me with a drone.

Ugh, those two are the worst.

Wait... you can't stand them either?

Huh, I guess we have
something in common.

Um, here, let me help you up.

Wow. That was an unexpected twist.

I guess we did know what we were doing!

Hey, Jackson? Can I tell you something

I've wanted to tell you
for a really long time?

I have a huge crush on...

- (thud)
- (Sasha screams)

- Forgot to turn the drone off!
- We should run.

Puke Plane , here we come!