10x06 - Life Insurance/Burst Your Bubble

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Meow, meow, meow, meow.

- Yeah, I am ripped.

- Meow!

Meow.

Whoa!

- Hey there, have you recently been involved in an accident?

Well, have you? - Well, yes. Yes, I have.

- Well, then you need life insurance.

- Life insurance?

- What? Is there an echo in here?

Do yourself a favor, kiddo.

Sign here, and you'll be protected.

- I...hmm? No. Um...no.

Wait...no.

Wait... - Here!

Okay, thanks.

- And while you're at it, clumsy, why not buy two?

- Okay.

Ooh!

- Hey, Spongebob! You're in your underwear.

That's cool.

I got your mail.

What is it?

- It's my life insurance. I got one for you too.

- Oh, boy! Life insurance!

Life insurance!

Life insurance!

Life insurance!

Life insurance!

What's life insurance?

- I'm not sure, but I think it means

that for the rest of our lives, we are protected.

We can't get hurt.

The contract tastes legitimate,

but I don't believe it.

- Well, let's try to get hurt, and we'll see.

- Ha! Well, finally, something I'm good at.

Remarkable.

You can hit me all you want...

- Yet I can't be damaged.

This life insurance is really working.

I've become unbreakable!

- Why, yes, I do race sea horses.

Oh, I don't know if I'd call myself

an international playboy.

- Just what are you two ignorami doing out here?

- We're trying to hurt each other.

Don't...hey...what the...

- You got a sea spider on your head.

- It's not a sea spider, you dope.

It's my hair.

Mm...

- Wait a second. Hurt each other?

Oh, I'm gonna enjoy seeing this.

Whoa!

- Stop! Stop! Stop!

I thought you said you were trying to hurt each other.

- Uh-huh, we're trying.

- Well, you're not gonna do any damage

with soft pillows.

Here, try this.

Okay.

- Squidward was wrong.

Didn't hurt him, just made him disappear.

Ah! Sea spider!

- Oh...oh, no, Patrick, I'm slipping...

and falling!

I didn't even break a bone!

- My turn!

I'm losing my footing!

No!

I survived a deadly fall unhurt!

- Life insurance.

- Hi-ya! Hi-ya!

- What? I can't hear you!

- Hi-ya!

- Turn the volume up inside of your voice!

- I said...

- Squidward, what were you yelling?

- I was trying to say

you got to fall from something higher.

- Sea spider!

Ah! My baby.

Once again, I'm asking,

what are you doing? - It's our final test.

We're trying to get jellyfish to sting us

to prove we can't get hurt.

- What?

- Oh! Me! Me! Sting me! Over here!

- Sting me, sting me, sting me. - Blast me with your venom!

- Zap me with your pain juice!

- Sting me, please! - Sting me, sting me, sting me.

- You're the ones asking...

- Gee, Squidward, maybe you should get some life insurance.

What are you yammering about?

- I bought some life insurance for Patrick and myself,

and now we can never be hurt.

- Yeah. To test out the life insurance,

we even built a super dangerous obstacle course

across the street.

- We call it The Sushi Maker.

Squidward, I think you need this more than I.

I would like to present you with my life insurance policy.

Actually, you better take two,

since you're kind of a klutz.

- Better take two? Life insurance?

You giblet heads!

No piece of paper can protect a person from getting hurt.

- Yay! It works!

- You're untouchable!

- Oh, that was a coincidence.

- Driving's hard.

Yay! Life insurance!

- You are magically protected.

-Whoo-hoo! - Whoo!

- Oh, it was luck! Dumb luck!

Look, I'll prove it. You stand here.

- You see, Squidward? You're immune!

- You can't be hurt! - Yeah!

- You are a cast-iron Squidward.

Life insurance! Life insurance!

- Wow, I can't believe it,

but you two sub-geniuses were right somehow.

I can't be broken. I'm indestructible!

I am shatterproof!

Watch this.

- What you gonna do, Squidward?

- What does it look like?

I'm running into a...

Wall!

Yes. That's just what it needed.

I'll call the painting "One Hole."

Oh, it's genius!

Ugh! Three holes?

That makes no sense!

- Did you see that?

I ran right through a brick wall.

I'm hard as nails!

Come on, world! Bring it on!

- Oh, perfect.

- Pfft. Big tough guy.

- What are you doing, Squidward?

- Just watch.

- Enjoying your sherbert, Herbert?

- My name's not Herbert.

- Oh, I know it's not.

Your name is "Hey." What's your name?

Hey!

- Told ya! Here, let me help you.

- Funny, didn't feel a thing.

- Uh, Squidward, I don't think you should lick that.

It's got germs. - Ha! Germs can't hurt me.

Nothing can hurt me!

As a matter of fact,

do you know what I'm gonna do now?

I'm gonna run your super dangerous obstacle course.

You know why?

No.

- Because now I've got moxie!

Wait, what's moxie?

- What goes on, boyos?

- Squidward is gonna try out The Sushi Maker.

- Why does he want to do that? - Oh, don't worry, Mister Krabs.

He's got life insurance. He can't be hurt.

- That's not how life insurance works.

- It's not? - Course not!

Life insurance is money the beneficiary gets

when a person dies.

By the way, who gets the money?

- Well, let's see.

No name here. - Hooray!

Eugene H. Krabs.

Go, Squidward!

Yay!

Fly high! Do or die!

Preferably the latter.

- D-d-d-d-do or die?

Squidward, come down!

You're not invincible!

Life insurance is not what you think!

You were right! Oh, it was just dumb luck.

- Now I'm yelling too!

- Oh, what are those ninnies going on about now?

I can't hear you!

Just shut up and watch me.

Nah...hey!

- Come back, Squidward! Don't do this!

- Will you stop shaking it?

No, no, no, no, no!

Eeh! Eeh! Eeh!

- Hey, Squidward, guess what I learned today.

Apparently, a life insurance policy

doesn't protect a person from injury.

Heh, how about that? - Ha, how 'bout that?

- Squidward, how did you survive The Sushi Maker?

It had to be this.

Sea spider!

- Look out! Oh!

- Learn how to drive!

- I'm trying! - Calm down, Spongebob.

- Yes, Mrs. Puff.

Nothing soothes one's frazzled nerves

like blowing bubbles!

- No blowing bubbles while driving!

[bubbles popping

Whoa!

I can't feel my big toe.

- So, uh, how'd I do?

- Get out!

You're never getting a boating license.

But...but... - Never! Never!

I'll never pass my driver's test,

I'll never get my license,

and I'll never know the joys of boat ownership!

- Ooh... - It's really nice.

Oh, yeah, it's a turbo jet.

sea horse power with -to- pop-up piston.

We're talking some serious muscle!

- I love your boat, Larry!

Oh, hey there, boyo!

Lovely day for a boat wash.

Isn't it?

- Whoa.

Maybe I shouldn't have borrowed Pearl's shorts.

Hey, Patrick, you want to hang out?

- Wish I could, Spongebob,

but I'm kind of spending time with my boat right now.

- Your boat.

Sure, Patrick. See you later.

Catch!

- You're a very good driver, Spongebob,

and my favorite student.

Here's your license.

- Ooh!

Aww!

If only I was as good at driving as I am at blowing bubbles.

Oh! That's it!

- Whoa. - What is that?

Oh! - All right, all right.

Pleasant day for a drive, hey, Officer?

- Sir, I'm going to need to see your license for that, um...

- You don't need a license to drive a bubble.

- Hmm, I suppose you're right.

Carry on, citizen.

Gary!

- You'll never believe it.

I was out driving all day.

Yes, driving!

First I drove down the street like this!

Then I made a right turn on red like this.

You should've been there, Gary.

Oh, it was like a dream come true.

- Meow.

- I'm here for a bubble boat. - Yeah, me too!

- I want one! - Uh, yeah, yeah, me too.

- Yes, please. - One, please.

- Oh, I'm not sure I have enough soap

to make this many bubble boats.

- Please?

- Well, I suppose I could tap into my rainy day reserves.

- One bubble boat coming up!

- Thank you!

- Down here, idiot!

I want to strike fear in the hearts of other drivers.

You got something terrifying in that wand for me, Spongebob?

- I sure do, Plankton!

Oof!

Ha-ha-ha, you fool! Now I will rule the streets!

Ouch!

Strike fear...

- Hmm...blow me something that screams Larry, Spongebob.

- I'm on it, Larry!

- Now, this is what I call a muscle car!

- I love your boat, Larry!

I'll never blow enough bubble boats

at this rate.

Yahoo!

Greetings, class.

My name is...

Mrs. Puff.

Oh, now that everyone's driving bubbles,

they don't need licenses.

I guess there's just no place in this world

for an old driving instructor.

Bah! - Hey, watch it, lady!

I'm driving over here!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Oh...wah!

- Hey! pick a lane, butter-brain!

- I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the boat, ma'am.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

- You ran my plates and saw my rap sheet?

- What? No.

Your vehicle has been outlawed, ma'am.

Now that everyone drives bubble boats,

real boats have been deemed too sharp and pointy

to be street legal.

- But I've never driven a bubble.

Bubble boating school?

Please don't be Spongebob. Please don't be Spongebob.

Please don't be Spongebob. Please don't be Spongebob.

Please don't be Spongebob.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Hi, Mrs. Puff. - Of course.

- You must be here for the bubble lessons.

Don't worry, Mrs. P.

You'll be learning from a master.

Whoa!

- Great.

- Now, to get your bubble going, just pump your legs like this.

Oh! Ooh!

Oh! - Nice start.

Fire!

Hmm. Hah. Eeh.

I did it.

- Mrs. Puff, you're ready.

- Really? - Absolutely!

You just need to pass your final test...

out there.

- Nice and easy. Doing great.

- Hello!

- You know, this whole bubble boating thing

isn't so bad.

Maybe I could...

- Oh, no, Mrs. Puff!

You got on the freeway by mistake!

Look out!

It's okay! Just calm down!

- Eeh! Oh!

- Oh, no. What's gonna happen when they hit the surface?

- Doh!

- No more bubbles.

Get them off me!

- Don't worry, Mrs. Puff.

Even though it was bubbles

that caused all these problems,

it was also bubbles that solved 'em.

That's kind of a wash, I guess.

Get it? Wash?

Soap? Bubbles?

- Give me that. Bubble boats are too unstable.

They've been declared illegal.

Everyone back to your regular boats!

- Well, Mrs. Puff, looks like I have to get

my boating license after all.

See you tomorrow in class!

- Oh, joy.