07x02 - Growth Spout/Stuck in the Wringer

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

Haaaaaah.

Whoa. Blarney stone.

That's a horrible reek.

I knew I was forgettin' somethin'.

That's strange.

I'm sure I can remember screwing the cap

back on the toothpaste.

But here it is on the edge of the sink,

plain as day.

These are strange times we're livin' in.

- Daddy!

- That sounded like

me beloved teenage daughter, Pearl.

I'm coming, Princess!

- Pearl!

What in the name of Neptune's aunt Nancy

is with all this ruckus?

- Aah!

What's happening to me?

- Pearl, this is terrible.

I paid thirty bucks for that bed.

Of course, that was when you were a newborn.

Maybe if I crunched a few numbers

and checked the warranty, I could--

- I need food.

- Okay, Pearl!

I wasn't sure what to get,

so I just brought the whole...

- Refrigerator.

- Pearl, I somehow just realized what's happening.

- So did I.

- You're havin' one of them,

uh, you know, one of them, uh,

growth spouts.

That's all.

It means you're healthy.

- It means I need food!

- Empty.

- What am I, chopped liver?

- No, that's what I am.

- Daddy!

- Darling, I searched the entire house.

There's not a speck of food to be spoken of.

- Well, you're just gonna have to go buy some.

Can't.

It's late, and all the shops are closed.

We're just gonna have to wait until morning

to find you something to eat.

- Wait, what's that green stuff in your pocket?

Where?

- There!

- Me money?

- I'll just have to eat this.

- No, wait!

I'll think of something.

Food. Where? Where? Food.

Where? Where?

Must protect garden.

Only thing that makes life worth living.

Peanuts.

What the...

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Gaah!

These peanut worms are pets,

not vegetables.

Gaah! Gaah!

Yaaah!

- Who's there?

I'm warning you.

I have a blunt instrument here, and I'm not afraid to use it.

- There you are, sucker.

Cucumbers.

Squirting me.

Flying stuff!

Jackpot.

Surely Patrick could spare a few morsels.

After all, it's for a worthy cause,

me beloved Pearl.

Heh, heh, heh, heh.

Don't worry, Pearl.

Daddy found you some vittles.

Bottom feeders.

Splat!

Pearl!

I brought you some...

- Cereal.

- More daddy, more!

- There, there, my darling.

The bad man is gone now.

And if he comes back,

we'll make sure he never walks again.

- Which way did you say the kidnapper ran, miss, uh,

Mrs., uh...

Ms.

Mrs. Miss, Mrs.

So which way did you say he went?

- I said he went that way.

- Anything else?

- No.

- Got it.

Johnson.

Well, looks like whoever it was is gone now, ma'am.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

I tell ya, these calls are getting more and more weird.

I mean, what kind of nutcase would want to break

into someone's vegetable garden at this time of night?

- Ooh-hoo-hoo.

Foo-foo-foo-food.

Got to find foo-hoo-hoo food!

- Well, I doubt he's gonna turn up

anywhere near here again tonight.

What do you say we go check out that new -hour

taser emporium you were talking about?

- Food, food, food, food, food, food, food!

Food! Food!

Food.

- Not food.

Hanging cured meats.

Exotic spices.

A bread box overflowing with baguettes.

Yummy stuff everywhere.

I'll start with the fridge.

Candied sea yams, pickled urchins,

anemone pies.

A bucket of kelp slaw,

et cetera.

Ooh. More etcetera.

Oh well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway.

- And that's what I told him.

I said, "if you're not gonna bring

an extra set of batteries, then why even carry a"--

hey, mister.

What's with the sack?

- S-sack?

- Yeah, sack.

That big giant sack thing you're carrying on your back.

That sack.

- It's, uh...

I'm practicing to be Sandy claws for the holidays.

- Okay, you have a safe night now.

- Thanks again, officer!

- Be seeing you in a couple months.

Happy holidays.

- Okay, pearly.

I got some more vittles here for ya!

More!

- I was afraid you were gonna say that.

- I wasn't stealin' food.

- Mister Krabs.

How could you do this to me?

- Spongebob, I'm sorry.

I had no other choice.

- Coming over for a slumber party

without even giving me a chance to put my best pjs on?

I mean, look at these things.

Just give me one minute to change,

and when I get back,

we can get started on some smores and popcorn.

G-g-good idea, Spongebob.

That sounds just perfect.

- Not so fast.

That crab is a food thief!

- He snuck into my house in the middle of the night,

stole every last morsel in my kitchen,

and he even swiped

my entire collection of smoked kielbasas.

- But I thought he was having a slumber party at my house.

- I don't care.

I'm calling the police.

- Squidward, wait. You can't.

And why is that?

- Because if you do, I'll fire ya.

No, if I go to prison, who's gonna feed Pearl?

- Hello, police?

- Hold it!

I'll...i'll...

- You'll what?

You'll give me your golden tooth?

- I didn't even know Mister Krabs had a gold tooth.

- Neither did I.

Spongebob.

What am I gonna do?

- Oh, don't worry, Mister Krabs.

I had a tooth pulled a few years ago.

Only hurts for a couple of days.

- It's not that, boy.

Those nerves d*ed years ago.

It's me dear daughter, Pearl.

- Pearl? What happened?

- She's going through one of them growth spurts,

and I can't find a way to feed her.

- Mister Krabs, you're the owner

of the most delightfully delicious restaurant

in bikini bottom.

Why don't you just take here there to eat?

- Hold on, boy.

I said I was trying to feed me daughter,

not completely obliterate me inventory.

- You don't have to do that.

I know a special ingredient that can make

one krabby Patty taste like a million.

So hungry.

Not gonna make it.

- Spongebob, hurry it up!

- Hang in there, Mister Krabs.

Almost ready.

- You've been saying that for the last...

Daddy, I'm not hungry anymore,

and I've stopped growing.

I feel great. Heh, heh!

Boy, I'm glad that's over.

And it only cost me one krabby Patty.

Say, what was that secret ingredient

you used in there anyways, boy?

- It was love, Mister Krabs.

It was love.

No!

Squish!

Splat!

Squish!

Good thing I have a spare.

I still have one more thing to clean.

Oh, what would I do without you, wringer?

Guess I'd be all wet.

And now I'm ready to go to work.

Whoa!

Man, you got to be more careful, Squarepants.

You always got to be watchin' out,

watchin' out for things,

things like...

Like that!

Oh, yeah, I saw you.

Not gonna fool me this time, soap.

Squeak!

Yeow!

Aah!

No!

Splat!

This is not going well.

- Hey, Spongebob, have you seen my rubber ducky?

- Oh, is that it?

- I found you!

Pretty duck.

Quack, quack, quack!

- Uh, Patrick. - Huh?

- I hate to interrupt your reunion,

but I kind of need your help over here.

- What do you need, Spongebob?

- Well, I'm a little stuck, if you know what I m--

- stuck?

I can help with that.

Okay.

There.

There you go, buddy.

Now you're stuck forever.

- Gee, thanks, Patrick.

Now I'm stuck f-f-f-forever?

Patrick, I wanted to get unstuck,

not more stuck.

How am I going to get to work if I'm stuck here forever?

Must...get...

Out of...Wringer.

Boing!

Boing!

- Aah!

Yeow.

There.

Is that better?

- No, Patrick, it isn't.

How am I supposed to flip patties like this?

- Okay, you know what, Squarepants,

that's quitter talk.

And are you a quitter? - No.

- And are you gonna let this wringer get between you

and your passion?

Those sweet tomatoes, crisp onions?

Are you, Spongebob?

- No, I won't let it get between me and crisp onions,

sweet tomatoes, fresh lettuce, a flame-broiled Patty,

a warm bun sprinkled with sesame seeds

served with a smile that says, "hey, I care!"

I'm ready!

- That's the spirit.

- Whoo!

Crash! Crash!

Don't worry, Patrick.

My spirits are still high.

Plop! Plop! Plop! Plop!

Hello, perfectly made krabby Patty.

- It's about time.

Hey, Spongebob.

Love the outfit.

Where'd you get it, the hardware store?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hardware jokes.

Hardware store.

No, from my bathroom.

- Well, I must say,

it really completes your imbecile look.

Way to go, buddy.

- Ah, thanks, pal.

- Aah!

Squidward.

Squidward!

- Umph. - Are you okay?

- Please, just get away from me.

- Uh, excuse me.

Can I have a refill on my soda?

- Aah, a refill!

Ah! Oh, my foot!

Oh, my foot!

Crash!

Oh, my back!

My face.

Not to worry, sir.

I'm coming.

Whoa!

Boom.

Don't worry, everybody.

I'm o-- kaah!

- Free money. - Promotional.

- Hey.

Don't touch Mister Krabs' money.

- Me money!

What do you think yer doing?

That ain't yers.

Thank you very much.

When I get my hands on that boy...

Crash!

- Here, Mister Krabs.

I'll help.

- Help?

I think you've helped quite enough today.

And don't even think about coming back here

till that destructive device of yours is gone!

- Hey Spongebob, how was work?

- Oh, an absolute disaster.

I can't do anything

without this stupid wringer getting in the way.

Patrick, I am nothing more than a bike rack.

A sad, sad, sad, sad little bike rack.

- Hey.

Don't you go crying on me.

Crying never solves anything.

I know what always makes you feel better.

- You were right.

Ice cream always makes me feel better.

- Dig in!

Argh!

I can't even eat ice cream now!

This dumb wringer is in the way!

- Bummer.

Hey, you know what, forget this place.

Let's go to the carnival.

That's the funnest spot in the ocean.

Look, the ball toss.

- Step right up, folks.

Toss a ball, hit the cans,

and win a stuffed sea horse.

- We want to play!

- Sure. Give her your best sh*t.

- Thanks.

Crash!

Whoo!

Now you try.

Daah.

Smack!

Squirt!

- Whoa, whoa! The spinning steering wheels!

Oh, we got to do that!

- I don't know.

I have too much eye pain.

- Oh, come on.

Oh, how many times does a carnival come to town?

Ready?

- Aah!

- Spongebob?

- Oh, dear Neptune, why?

- Hey pal, want some of my cotton candy?

They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament.

I got this too.

Check it out.

- Yeah, that's nice, Patrick,

but I don't want any cotton candy.

- Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.

- I said I don't want any!

- You ruined my cotton candy.

- Good!

Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!

- Check it out, public fight!

- Working at the carnival sure has its perks!

- I have never felt so ashamed.

- What do you mean?

- If it wasn't for your forever glue,

I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!

- But I was only trying to help.

- Help?

I think you've helped quite enough today!

- Okay.

If that's how you feel...

I won't help you anymore.

Lot of drama with that one.

- You know kid, your body isn't the problem.

It's your heart.

- You deserve what you've gotten.

Come on, we're out of here.

- Some people are just born mean.

- Forget Spongebob.

I don't need him.

I can do whatever I want.

Pop!

I don't need him.

Fight it.

You're not his friend anymore.

I got to try to keep myself occupied

so I don't think about sponge--

I'm not even gonna say his name!

What to do, what to do...

I know.

I'll have a staring contest.

Fiddlesticks.

Oh, that game's too hard.

Well, maybe if Spongebob were here,

he could give you pointers.

Who asked you?

Forget it.

I'll just play...

Fetch.

Where is it? Where is it?

Gotcha.

Is Spongebob okay?

Oh, what do I care?

I'm no longer supposed to help.

Buddy!

Spongebob?

Spongebob?

Hey, whatchya watching?

- My favorite show.

I love that part.

Spongebob, snap out of it!

It's me, your best friend, Patrick!

- What's that?

I can't hear you,

what with all the lonely voices in my head.

- Oh, man. He's too far gone.

- Not fit to live in society.

- This is all my fault.

Me and my dumb ideas.

I'm so sorry.

- Patrick, your tears.

They're melting the glue.

Keep crying.

I'll do the same,

and maybe I can slip out of this thing.

Aah!

Look, it worked!

All right!

- I guess crying does solve your problems after all.

Come here, buddy.

- Well, at least we're together.

Uh, should I get the glue?