07x09 - Back to the Past/The Bad Guy Club for Villains

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

That's the stuff.

Right there.

Something don't smell right.

Spongebob, say, what are you burnin' out here, boy?

I'd say a high grade expl*sive.

- expl*sive?

Enjoy, Eugene.

Boom!

- Plankton!

- I just had that roof redone last week.

- You'll be re-redoing it after I'm through with you.

- Ready amm*nit*on.

Fire.

Pop!

- Take cover.

Crash!

Heh-heh. It didn't go off.

Another dud, Plankton.

- A dud, huh?

Buzz!

- Oh, you're playin' with fire now, Plankton.

- No need to get worked up over this, krabs.

Just give me the secret formula, and I'll be on my way.

- You ain't getting it.

- I implore you to reconsider.

- Go jump off a plank.

- I have ways of getting the information I need.

Where's the formula, krabs?

- Still not gonna talk, eh, krabs?

- A-choo!

- Okay, krabs, I see you're not gonna cr*ck.

But I don't think your underling is of the same mettle.

- I'll never talk.

- We'll see what Mr. Feather has to say about that.

- Okay. Okay.

But I don't know how to get into the safe

behind the painting in Mister Krabs' office

that houses the secret formula.

He won't let me near it.

- Clever.

Behind the painting, eh, krabs?

Grrrr...

- Incidentally, what am I smelling?

You got something burning?

Smells like blubber to me.

- Blu-blu-blubber?

- Daddy.

Call off your daughter, krabs.

Call her off.

- She's a big girl, Plankton.

I have no control over what she does.

Oh, and you better watch out.

I think she's extra hungry today.

- Stay back, whale.

I'm privy to what you do to organisms like me.

I've seen those documentaries.

- Did he just go into the freezer?

- Don't say it.

- I prefer salad over Plankton anyway.

- Who knew Plankton was so afraid of whales?

Pearl, me darlin' daughter,

you saved me business and me formula.

Now get us out of this trap.

- Mall money?

- All right, all right.

You're getting more like your old man every day.

- Thanks, daddy.

Pop!

- Why don't you swing by the chum bucket

on your way to the mall?

Give Plankton a scare.

- Double my mall money.

- Grrr.

Your turn to chip in, boy.

Sure.

Here you go.

Buy yourself something pretty.

- Hey.

This isn't money.

- No, it's even better.

This is what Mister Krabs pays me with:

Mister Krabs' wacky bucks.

- Oh, it's all starting to catch up with me.

Please, Pearl.

I'll do your homework for you.

- No way.

The chum bucket is, like, totally gross.

In that case, Pearl,

I'm gonna need to borrow one of your dresses.

Hub-a-dah-

- my triumphant husband returns.

How'd you fail this time?

- Krabs had a whale.

- You mean his big, bad, scary teenage daughter?

- I hear that mocking tone in your voice, Karen,

and I don't appreciate it.

Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors

at the hands of those beasts?

- Burp!

- Okay, when you need a break from your delusional paranoia,

the trash needs some attention.

It's ripened.

- I'm hungry.

- No!

That should keep her out.

- I want Plankton meat!

- Holy protozoa.

Karen!

She's here! She got in!

- What are you talking about?

- There's a whale in the laboratory.

- Are you out of your mind?

- See for yourself.

- No whale in here.

- I swear, a whale was just in here.

She was next to the transmutator.

She was right here in this spot.

Her mouth all frothy,

blowhole blowing.

- Oh, that's enough, Plankton.

If you'll excuse me,

I have to get back to more pertinent binary functions.

- Karen.

Karen!

- I'm not listening.

Plankton, your dinner's ready.

Plankton?

Plankton, do you hear me?

- Yes, I can hear you.

Can you bring it up?

I can't risk stepping into the light.

The whale might see me.

N-no! No! No! No!

Whoa.

Hey, get me out of here!

- No. No.

Duh.

- Hiya, Plankton.

Glad you could join the rest of the family.

- Granddad?

- Yep, and you're pretty brave

standing in that there gastric acid.

- Gastric acid?

I can't take it.

This is driving me crazy.

What's the point of going on?

I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale.

Smack!

That's it. I'm done.

The : bus should be along any time now.

- Hi, Plankton.

What you doin' laying here in the middle of the road?

- Go away, cheesehead.

Can't you see I'm trying to get run over?

In fact, better yet, just step on me as hard as you can.

Would you do that for me?

- I'm sorry, Plankton,

but that flies in the face of my good nature.

- Forget it, kid.

I'll just wait for the next bus.

Go on back to the krusty krab and enjoy yourself.

- Okay.

Good-bye, pip-squeak.

- Sorry to interrupt your gloating, sir.

I just thought it would be pertinent for you to know

that Plankton's laying in the street, forlorn.

- Really?

He's a mess.

- Mister Krabs, I know you and Plankton

are sworn enemies and all,

but putting on a dress to frighten him?

Isn't that taking it a little too far?

- Need I remind you of the fact that you disclosed the location

of me safe where I keep the secret formula?

- No need to remind me, sir.

I broke rule number two of the krusty krab rule book:

Never disclose the location of the secret formula.

Don't worry, sir.

I can fix this.

Man, what does it take to get run over around here?

- Hi, Plankton.

- What, do you got mud in your ears?

Take a hike.

- Oh, yes, I remember.

But very quickly, I just wanted to let you know

that the krabby Patty secret formula is not,

I repeat, not in the safe behind the painting at the krusty krab.

- Why should I care?

All meaning has left my life

ever since I've been plagued by that blasted whale.

- It's okay.

Everybody has a secret fear.

For instance, Mister Krabs' secret fear is...

- Really?

And guess what else.

That was Mister Krabs in a whale suit

that you've been scared of.

- You mean, this entire time it's been krabs

masquerading as a whale?

Why, that conniving bottom feeder.

- Well luckily, you wouldn't have any use

for such innocuous information, would you?

- Uh, of course not.

- All righty.

Back to your self-destructive behavior, Plankton.

Thanks for the talk.

- Oh, no, thank you.

- Hoo-hoo, this is too much fun.

I think I found me second calling.

Plankton ain't even a challenge no more.

- Oh, is that so.

- Plankton? Oh, back for more, are you?

Oh, well, here goes.

Boo.

- You don't scare me, krabs.

- I ain't krabs. I'm--i mean,

I'm Pearl, not krabs.

- The jig is up, krabs.

I know all about the suit

and your secret fear.

- Secret fear?

What are you talkin' about?

- See for yourself.

Enjoy the show.

- No.

No.

No.

M-m-make it stop.

Make it stop.

Doesn't feel so good on the other end of the stick,

does it, scaredy pants?

Ha-ha-ha.

I am loving this.

- Hey, Plankton, if I were you, I wouldn't be so smug.

- Why not?

- Because a hungry pod of whales just showed up

for its early feeding.

Not another feeding.

Get me out of here.

Shoonk!

- Ooh, well, you redeemed yourself, boy.

Okay, you really are creeping me out now.

- Help.

Help.

Ow, right in me crow's nest.

- Monica.

- Brad.

- Oh, Monica.

I thought I might never find you.

I promise never to leave your side.

- Oh, Brad.

- Oh, Monica.

- Do you know what today is, little guy?

- Mrow.

- It's "take Gary for a walk in the park" day.

- Moh.

- Isn't this great, Gary?

A whole park full of your own species.

Go ahead.

Have a good time.

I'll just sit down for a second.

- Mrow.

- Meow.

- Mwow!

- Hey, lightweight,

what do you think you're doing with my goil?

Come on, Mary, let's go.

- Meow.

- You just made a big mistake, pal.

- Say good-bye to your friends, Gary.

Play time's over.

I've got to fix us some dinner.

- Meow.

- Mow-wow.

- Let's go, Mary.

- Hey, this ain't over, runt.

When I get through with yous,

the doctor won't know which side to sew your lips back on...

To.

That little runt is gonna get what's comin' to him.

Seaweed noodle stew.

- Meow.

- Bon appetit, Gary.

I made it with extra love.

- Meow.

- Not exactly what I had in mind, but knock yourself out.

- One, two, one, two.

One, two, one, two.

One, two, one--

oh, there you are.

That sure was a knock-out dinner, eh?

- Meow.

- Come on, Gary.

It's time for beddie-bye.

Night-night, gare-bear.

Good morning, Gary.

Hmm, where is he?

Oh, he's probably using his snail box.

That was a pretty noodly stew he ate last night.

Peek-a-boo.

Huh, not in here either.

Gary?

Where are you?

I'm gonna have to teach that snail

how to clean up after himself.

What's this?

Some sort of ransom note?

Holy Neptune.

My Gary has been pet-napped by a deranged snail lover!

Don't worry, gare-bear.

I'll save you.

- Mrow?

- Mrah.

- Mow-ow.

- After me, fellas.

Hey, how come we don't never come through the front, guys?

- 'Cause bad guys don't never use the front door.

- Well, I think that that's pretty ridiculous.

- All right, listen up.

Any of yous seen a snail come through here?

About, uh, yea tall, a shell, couple of eyes?

- I think yous need to be more descriptive.

- Uh, oh, okay.

Uh, let's see here.

Uh, this particular snail thinks it's real funny

to make goo-goo eyes at my girl.

- Hey, what you's gigglin' at?

They's gigglin' at me.

All right, that's it.

You's all goin' on my list.

Yous got that?

You're on the list.

Gary?

Gary, where are you, buddy?

Snail slime.

It looks like it could be Gary's.

The color is right.

Consistency matches.

Now for the true test.

It is Gary's slime.

I'm on the twail, gehwee.

- Meow.

Bonk!

- Well, hello there, little fellow.

Are you a stray?

There, now, isn't that better?

- Mrow. Mrow.

- Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow?

- No, no, I haven't seen any stray snails come in here.

- He's trying to pull a fast one, fellas.

Why don't we give him a taste

of our special brand of swift justice.

- Heh, that's enough, boys.

I think we've done a thorough job.

- Yeah, let's get back to finding that snail.

Clang!

- Hey, boss.

There's one left.

- Oh, yeah?

I know you're in theres, you little runt.

cr*ck!

- Yah!

Aaah!

Aahh!

You.

Come back here.

You got to help me clean this place up.

You brought this on yourself, Harold.

I did not, Harold.

Yes, you did, Harold.

Harold, I did not.

- Come on.

Move it.

Get out of the road.

- Where do you think you're going?

- Get him.

Ah!

Meow.

Smack!

Smack!

- Mrow.

- Mrow.

- Gehwee?

Gehwee.

- What the?

- What do you think you're doing in my car?

No free rides, loafer.

- Hold it right there.

Hands off my Gary, you snail napper.

- Snail napper?

I don't want your dumb old snail.

- Oh, yeah, I suppose he wondered out of the house

in the middle of the night just so he could jump into your car.

- Meow.

- Not now, Gary. I'm scolding.

And I suppose--well, what?

- Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow.

- You did wander out of the house on your own?

But why?

Oh, I see why.

Good old fashioned amore.

- Hey.

This ain't over yet, runt.

- Monica.

Monica.

- Brad.

- Oh, Monica, I thought I might never find you, Monica.

I was just taking Billy here for a walk.

- Mrow.

- Meow.

Huh?

- I promise to never again leave your side.

Let's go get a steaming hot cup of Joe.

- Oh, Brad.

- Oh, Monica.

- That's got to hurt, buddy.

- Meow-ow.

- Yeah, come on, runt.

I'll show you this great dumpster

where we can get some seaweed noodle stew.

- Meow?

- Don't stay out too late, Gary.

They grow up so fast.