07x18 - That Sinking Feeling/Karate Star

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Ooh.

Delicious.

Pop!

Squish!

Pop!

Squish! Squish! Squish!

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Quack!

Top of the mornin' to you!

Krusty krab, Spongebob speaking.

Ring! Ring!

Gary, is that you?

Gary, I know you're there.

I can hear you breathing.

Ooh!

Mister Krabs!

This weiner tastes just like a krabby Patty.

Maybe we can add them to the menu.

- I'm not impressed.

- I made it with leftover ingredients.

- Now i'm impressed.

- Hmm, I could've sworn that sign said "open."

- Once in a while I need to breathe in and not smell grease

or the stench of my miserably failed life.

Talking to myself...

Again.

- And then I just cook it like this...

- Go on.

- My, what an interesting shape.

Are those for sale?

- Why?

Would you like to buy one?

- Well...

That would depend on the price.

- Would you pay the same as what a krabby Patty costs?

Sure, I suppose so.

- How about double?

- Now you're talking.

- Krabby patties again?

If only there were something else.

Hey, what you got there, frank?

- It's new.

Tastes just like a krabby Patty,

but it's shaped like a weiner.

- Hey, i'd like to request a weiner.

- Me too. - Me too.

Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!

- Squidward, what's that noise?

- Excruciating.

- Up here, boy; Take a look.

- I can't read it from here, Mister Krabs.

What's it say?

- It says, "krusty dogs only $ .

or $ . with cheese."

- $ . ?

That's highway robbery.

- Avec fromage, monsieur Squidward,

avec fromage.

- My krusty dog...

Handwritten on the menu.

Oh, pinch me, Squidward.

- Pinch yourself, you ninny.

- Spongebob, three more krusty dogs, pronto.

- Aye-aye, cap'n.

- Spongebob!

Three more orders of krusty dogs,

extra krusty.

- Wow, Mister Krabs,

we sure are getting a lot of orders for krusty dogs.

- Yep.

- Yeah, i'll get those going

right after I finish cooking up these krabby patties.

- Oh, forget about making those patties,

just make the wieners.

- "Just make the wieners"?

Um, excuse me, Mister Krabs.

Where are you going with that ladder?

Mister Krabs?

- I'm just going to make a few changes

to the krusty krab menu, that's all.

- Changes?

- Oh, that reminds me.

Do you have an eraser I could borrow?

- Eraser?

- Ah, never mind, i'll just cross it off.

No more krabby patties.

- Okay, just breathe normally, son.

- There you go.

That's it.

- There. He's starting to revive.

- I had this horrible dream that Mister Krabs

was never gonna let me cook krabby patties again.

- Pardon me.

- We're losing him.

Crash!

- Spongebob.

Spongebob.

Wake up.

- Where am I?

And what are these paramedics doing here?

- You're back in your old kitchen,

and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.

- I was asleep?

- Yeah.

But just for a little while.

So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.

- Mister Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?

- Maybe.

But now we have this!

- And what about my-- my spatula?

- I got you a new one.

All right, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves.

Everybody back to work.

- Aye-aye, Captain.

Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?

- I Don't know.

That's a pretty long talk.

- Has anything ever happened at your job

that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be.

- Well, actually, yes.

- Really? What was it.

- Being hired.

- I Don't know why,

but things just aren't the same

since krusty dogs were added to the menu.

- Spongebob, my boy.

I realized long ago that there is nothing,

I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring

or humiliating or demeaning than it already is.

- Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.

- Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy.

- Mister Krabs?

- Ahoy, Spongebob.

How goes the wieners?

- Meh.

I was kind of wondering,

could we just go back to selling krabby patties?

- What on earth for?

Krusty dogs was your best idea ever, boy.

- I know, i--

well, I guess I sort of just miss the krabby patties.

After all, they're what gave this place its name.

- Yeah, good point.

- Yeah, I mean, Don't you think that we should--

"krusty dog"?

Those wieners have got to go.

Here you are, hungry customers,

your delicious krusty dogs.

- They do look delicious.

- Yes.

Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition.

Here's your foot long, sir.

- Thanks.

inches of deliciousness.

- Yeah.

You know, what gives them that added flavor?

- No, what?

- Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.

- Spongebob, what are you doing?

- We have got to get rid of these wieners

and bring back the krabby Patty.

- Spongebob, I never thought i'd be saying this,

but count me in.

- Hooray!

- Help!

I'm having terrible abdominal pain!

I think it was the...

The...

Line.

- Weiner.

- The weiner!

- Ladies and gentlemen,

allow me to introduce myself.

I am but a simple old-timey gentleman.

I came here for one purpose today.

- So I said, "it didn't smell so bad,

"but it taste--

- quiet, granny!

I'm talkin'!

- And that is to loudly decry

these modern new-fangled days of wieners

and to beg for a return to a simpler time,

a krabby pattier time.

- I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects.

How about you guys? - Nah.

- How about nostalgia?

- Never heard of him.

- Okay, that didn't work at all.

- It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners.

- We need stronger tactics.

- Right.

Something that would make Mister Krabs whole weiner thing

blow right up in his face.

- Yeah.

Blow up.

Honk!

Squidward, that's it!

Beautiful.

Your krusty dog, sir, with extra mustard.

- Thanks.

- Can I bring you something else?

Okay, I guess not.

Thank you, sir.

Wait for it, Spongebob, wait for it.

Now!

- Yeah, remember that?

That was-- oh, my Neptune!

That krusty dog is about to explode!

- What? Where?

Pop!

Splat!

- It's all over me.

- I-I think i'm gonna be sick.

- Tell my grandchildren about that.

- Have a nice day.

- Spongebob, what happened in here?

Where are all me customers?

What are we gonna do?

- Ooh, I know the answer.

- Hey, Spongebob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?

- I think he's outside on his break.

- Perfect.

And keep them krabby patties coming, boy.

- Aye-aye, Captain!

- Mom, look it's a guy dressed as a krabby Patty.

- It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy.

Thud!

Well, I guess I was wrong again.

It can always get more humiliating.

- You're it!

- Not for long.

- Hey, try and catch me, Spongebob.

Slam!

- Tag, you're it.

This game's too hard.

- I know.

What if both of us are it?

- But, then, who's gonna be not it?

- Exactly, neither of us will know.

I like not knowing.

Let's play!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

- I'm it! - I'm it!

Whoa!

- Spongebob!

Smash!

- Hang on; I'm coming!

Crash!

- Wow, what is this place?

- Look at all this cool stuff!

Ha!

I'm the Captain!

Yo-ho-ho, ya mateys!

Arr!

En garde!

Whoa!

Thanks, Spongebob.

I guess we better be more careful.

- Let's go back to the main deck.

- Okay.

Thud!

- Patrick!

I'm coming, buddy.

Patrick?

Thunk!

Patrick!

- Ooh, shiny and smooth.

- Wow, what's this?

"Mauna loa."

Whoa, i'm late!

Got to get to work.

- Spongebob.

Spongebob.

Spongebob, what are you doing?

I've been saying I need a krabby Patty

about a bajillion times, and you--

what the?

Nice Patty, Michelangelo.

I hope you're not expecting an award any time soon.

- Oh, that's just my secret--

here you go.

- Porous freak.

That was close.

- Spongebob!

Check out the new t-shirt I just made.

- Patrick, please!

What are you trying to do,

give away our secret hideout?

Give me that.

- What's with all the racket?

- Uh, s-sorry, sir.

- Patrick, if you're gonna distract me fry cook,

the least you could do is buy some grub.

- You got it, Mister Krabs.

- Back to work, boy.

- Sure thing.

Ar!

- Oh, looks like the work day is over.

See you tomorrow, sir.

- That's...

Odd.

Well, let's see.

- Come on, Patrick.

We have to get back to our...

Playground.

- Keep the change, my good man.

A gum wrapper

and a coin that says "mauna loa."

- Mauna loa?

As in the shipwreck mauna loa?

Legend has it

that the largest unfound pirate's Booty lies...

In its ruins.

- I've been searching for this treasure

nearly me entire adult life,

looking over every nook, every cranny,

every dumpster.

Once I get me claws on it,

i'll be the richest crustacean in the world.

- Well, I guess that explains this.

Looks like him and Patrick are trying

to horde the lot for themselves.

- Come on, Squidward.

We're gonna let those two dingalings

lead us straight to the mauna loa.

- Actually, I have a hot date with my toenail clipper tonight.

But have fun with that.

- Hey, Patrick, do you think we gave away too much

about our secret hideout?

- Oh, gee, Spongebob.

Who cares if everyone knows about our secret hideout?

- Doesn't that make the secret hideout

a little less secret-y?

- Well, no.

It's just a secret that everybody knows about.

What's wrong, Spongebob?

- Just as I thought.

We're being followed.

That's it.

Looks like no one was following us

to the hideout after all.

- Found it!

- Hey.

Were you following us?

- No, I just saw the sign.

- So you thought you could hide the treasure

from old man krabs, did you?

- I'm not aware of any treasure,

but I suppose since you're such a nice boss,

you can hang out at the hideout,

just as long as you keep it a secret.

You're such a nice--

you expect me to believe this malarkey?

The old stonewall, eh?

Well, we'll see about that.

Where'd you two blunderers find the gold coin?

- If my eyes weren't burning like they were full of lava,

I could show you.

- Pushovers.

- I knew i'd find it!

Check it out, fellers!

Cold, hard doubloons!

- Uh, you might want to take a closer look at your coinage.

What's this?

"Token has no monetary value"?

Tokens?

This must be a decoy.

- Ahoy, Mister Krabs.

Maybe they hid the loot off-ship in that shed.

- Hee-hee!

What the barnacles?

It's just full of tickets.

- Well, you usually do find tickets in a ticket booth.

- Ticket booth?

- And why are there height restrictions on the crew?

- "Must be this tall to ride"?

- Well, maybe they had something against short people.

I like their little clothes.

- "Captain's quarters."

There must be some treasure here, Mister Krabs.

- Out of me way, boy.

I knew it.

The lost treasure of the mauna loa

is finally mine.

I can practically taste them jewels.

That was a little lighter than I thought.

It's empty.

No good!

Ha ha!

Very clever, cap'n.

Throwing krabs the ol' ringer, eh?

He must have a treasure map or something.

Where you keeping it?

In your pocket?

Plastic?

Hang on a minute.

Plastic Captain, a ticket booth, tokens.

This ain't the wreck of the mauna loa.

It's the wreck of the mauna loa amusement park ride.

- No wonder we were so amused.

- Well, i'm not.

- Remember, you're always welcome back

at the secret hideout.

- This place ain't got no treasure.

Keep your worthless hunk of junk.

- Okay, but would you mind

keeping this worthless hunk of junk a secret?

Wouldn't be much of a secret

if we had a million people showing up.

- Ho, ho, ho, Don't flatter yourself.

People want to see the real thing.

It's not like a million people just show up

to an old amusement park ride for fun.

Wait a minute.

That's exactly what they do.

Ho, ho, ho!

Brace yourselves, fellers.

Your hideaway is about to become

the worst-kept secret in the sea.

- Welcome to the wreck of the mauna loa.

Arr.

How may I help you?

- I'll take ten tokens, please.

- Step right up.

Don't be shy.

Experience the amusement and terror

of the wreck of the mauna loa.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- That's right, folks,

we spared no expense

in restoring this classic ship to its former glory.

- Sorry, honey, but you'll have to come back

when you're a big boy.

- Oh, I disagree.

I'd say the little feller's just right.

- It's gone, Patrick.

Our secret paradise is gone forever.

- And, alas, even the joyous shrieks of children

cannot lift my sunken heart.

- How about another ride to cheer you up?

- Let's do this!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Clang!

- Whoa!

- Whoa!

Boom!

Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

- That was awesome!

- Yeah!

Totally realistic.

- Realistic?

That realism nearly cost us our lives.

- Mister Krabs put all our lives in danger

with this careless contraption.

- What were you thinking?

Our little boy could've been hurt

on your disaster of a ride.

- Okay, people, let's not do anything we might regret.

- Too late for that, krabs.

- What are you talking about?

You can't take me to the pokey.

- For operating a danger to public safety I can,

and I will.

Honestly, I think you'll be safer in prison.

- Well, buddy, I guess we really lost our secret hideout

this time.

- And just when everyone was starting

to find out about it, too.

- Oh, who knows, Patrick?

The next fun, fun place might be just around the corner, huh?

- Well, I doubt it.

Slam!

"The real mauna loa"?

Ooh.

Patrick, can you keep a secret?

- Nope.