11x22 - g*ons on the Moon

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- All right, Science Scouts.

One last check on supplies.

We all need to be prepared for a campout on the Moon.

Spongebob.

Six-pack of Fizz b*mb Cola.

Bubble wand.

Mesh t*nk top.

And I'm waiting on a Krabby Patty delivery.

- Well, that's not what I had in mind

when I said supplies.

How 'bout you, Pearl?

- Oh...pom-poms,

megaphone and spirit!

- Uh. Do you always have to rub it in my face

that you're a cheerleader?

- Yes I do!

- Scouts, I don't think you cotton to what we're doin'.

We're going to the Moon!

Eww!

- No, that Moon.

Ohh!

- Squidina, what did you bring?

- Eyeglasses, comic books and action figures.

- Ugh, can a person be any nerdier?

- I can.

- Ew! - Remember, Scouts,

we're scientists.

Let's behave like it.

Science!

Everybody on board for lift-off.

Ouch!

- Let's go, Scout!

- But I'm still waiting for

the Krabby Patty delivery guy.

The Moon is in perfect

position for us to launch.

We gotta leave now.

- Whoa!

- Hello? Delivery.

Did someone order a Krabby Patty?

Uhh. Yuck.

Hokey hoo-ha for hicks.

Ahh! I take it back!

I could learn to like songs about tractors...maybe.

Ahh!

[all sigh

- Uh, sorry about that.

Just some backfire is all.

- Safety first.

Uh, why you...

- Uhh, everything okay back there, Spongebob?

Ahh, ay!

- Thanks!

- Three, two, one,

launch!

Whoops! Lunch.

Eh...did I die?

Am I a ghost?

- Okay, Scouts, you're free to move about the cabin.

- Ooh, whoa!

I'm flying, I'm flying!

Whoop!

- This peanut plant's pulse

is staying steady in zero G.

- I've never been so light before.

- Uhh, I gotta fix that.

- Teenage Action Girl, rise to the rescue

of Action Dog while Teenage Action Boy

floats in the corner and mopes.

I don't care.

Oh, no. Help me.

Hey!

Watch it, you big orca!

- You watch it, you big dorka.

- There can be only one explanation.

I've lost my mind.

All those years working at the Krusty Krab

and I finally snapped.

Ohh, going crazy is actually a relief.

All my stress is gone.

All my stress is back!

we've got space junk!

Everybody, back in your seats.

Trays in upright position.

Head between your knees.

Your mama can't save you now!

Home run!

- Eee!

We've still got a few Astro Belts to get through.

Brace yourselves for the Cold Belt.

- Next up, we got a hot belt.

Patty melt.

Huh! We're going through the radiation belt!

That could cause mutations.

Everybody, get under your lead blankets!

- Mutations?

I must protect my beautiful face!

- Aww.

Oh, good Neptune.

I'm going through puberty again.

Yah, uhh, ohh!

- Okay, Scouts, it's all safe now.

Let's see where we are.

Craters, craters...

Oh! Giant eyeball?

Now I'm as confused as a goat on Astroturf.

Ohh! Spongebob!

- Hey, there's a tiny, little squirrel in here.

How'd you get in there,

you little fuzz ball?

- I love the guy, but if his brains were dynamite,

he couldn't blow his nose.

Ha, we've stopped.

It's all over! I'm back home!

Wait a minute.

That's the Earth.

And that down there is the Moon?

So somehow the tree dome flew here.

Good Neptune, I'm falling!

Wait, if I remember my high school science,

on the Moon, I'm much lighter than on Earth.

Which means...

ha, this fall won't hurt me.

Oh, shrimp.

Now where am I?

Maybe this is the way out.

Maybe this one?

- Are y'all ready to go nuts for some hokey hoo ha?

Third time's a charm.

- One small step for a squirrel...

- Ooh!

- One giant heap for SpongeKind.

- All right, Science Scouts,

everybody's got an assignment.

Pearl, you measure the Moon's gravity.

- Rah, rah, sis, Moon, bahhh!

- Squidina, you collect Moon rocks.

Way ahead of you,

Ms. Scout Ma'am Cheeks.

- Grrr-avity!

- Spongebob, you can search

for intelligent life. - Aye, aye.

- You do know how to recognize intelligent life, right?

- Oh, sure. I cut open their heads

to see if they have any brains.

If you find anything, just toot.

- Ooh!

- Now to study the Moon's gravitational effects

on my nuts.

- I'm number one! You're number two!

I'm gonna b*at the nerd out of you!

- No one beats the nerd

out of Squidina!

Ahh! - Whoa!

Missed me!

Ohh! - Science! Yay!

Well, maybe being on the Moon isn't so bad.

After all, Spongebob is over , miles away.

- This Moon is a no Spongebob zone!

Here, I'm the man

on the Moon!

- Um, did someone say man on the Moon?

Hello?

Intelligent life?

How about average smarts?

I'd settle for common sense!

Ooh! Intelligent footprints.

Wha-hoo!

I found it! I found it!

What'd you find, SpaceBob?

- Intelligent life.

- I'm not so sure about that.

If they were intelligent, they would have

eaten this Krabby Patty. - Ooh.

Mmm, speaking of eating.

- You're right! It's lunch time.

Would you mind fetching the lunch I prepared?

- You bet! Just call me LunchBob.

- Just press the button labeled "lunch".

- No Spongebob, no Spongebob,

no Spongebob, Spongebob, Spongebob.

No Spongebob, no Sp...

Whoa!

The dark side of the Moon.

Spongebob?

Are you in here?

No Spongebob.

I've a strange feeling suddenly coming over me.

Could it be...

that I'm...happy?

- Lunch, lunch, where's lunch?

Oh, there it is.

Preparing to launch.

- No! No, not launch!

Lunch!

- Uh, wait, wait... what's going on?

How should I know?

Ahh, ahh. - You guys wait here.

Yah!

Phew. Spongebob?

Spongebob!

- Oh, uh, Sandy. Hey, girl.

I was just gonna run back home.

I forgot, uh...

my reading glasses.

Yow!

- It's okay, Spongebob. It's my fault

for putting the launch and lunch button so close together.

Oh, no! The Moon's been pulled out of its regular orbit.

That could have disastrous

effects on the Earth's tides.

- Water's a little dry today.

- And that last launch depleted our fuel.

- Ho ho ho.

- That's weird.

- I'm so sorry you're a cheerleader.

- I'm sorry you're a nerd.

That came out wrong.

- Ooh, Moon hugs!

Make room for me.

Come on, Sandy, bring it on in.

- It's all right, Scouts.

We just gotta figure out a way to get back to Earth.

- But Sandy, we heard strange laughing coming from...

in there.

- Ho ho ho.

Huh? Squidward?

You're the man on the Moon?

- Spongebob?!

Of course. Why not?

- Spongebob? Ho ho, I should've known

you'd have something to do with this.

- Santy Claus!

Well, Santa, you know the saying,

where Spongebob goes... - I know, trouble follows.

- I was gonna say laughter follows.

- Mr. Claus, what are you doing on the dark side?

- The dark side of the Moon is the only place

dark enough for me to get any sleep.

I was sleeping like a baby...

visions of sugarplums.

Then this bad boy goes and bangs into my sleigh

and wakes me up!

- Well, I guess I'm getting nothing for Christmas...

again.

Holy night, Spongebob!

Did you shrink the Earth?

Good question, Mr. Claus.

- We're actually further from the Earth now.

We could have moved the Moon back into its regular orbit

if we hadn't run out of fuel.

- A controlled expl*si*n might move the Moon back.

Ha, you're so smart.

How do we do that?

Ooh!

Fizz b*mb Cola!

A burp expl*si*n in every can.

- Yee-haw! That's my Science Scouts!

No go, the Moon's to heavy.

I think some children might be needing

some brains for Christmas.

- Perfection!

- Now we just wait for a gust of wind.

- Uh, interesting science fact:

there's no atmosphere on the Moon,

therefore there's no wind.

- Why don't we just push the Moon back?

- You all should be a sea monster

because you're Kraken me up.

Get it? Kraken?

- Santa Claus, you can do more than just say ho ho ho at us.

You can dig into that toy sack of yours

and find something to help.

- But I'm having such a jolly, holly time!

You're right.

I'm being naughty, not nice.

Everyone nestled all snug?

- We're all snug, Santa.

But why is Spongebob with you?

- Yeah, why am I riding with you?

Not that it isn't a pleasure.

- I want you close to me so I can keep an eye on you.

You're a menace!

- Yah! - Ohh!

First, I'll push Sandy's rocket ship out of harm's way.

Spongebob, hand me that jack-in-the-box.

- Jack-in-the-box.

- Oh, oh! Let me try!

Be careful!

Don't overwind it!

- But it's gotta be strong enough to move the Moon.

- You broke it, and it was my last one.

- Hmm. Oh, wait. I think I can hear

the last note struggling to get out.

Come on, Jack, you can do it.

I believe in you!

- Ho ho ho ho!

- What happened?

Okay, sorry. It was my bad.

- Oh, excuse me. Sorry.

- Ho ho ho backwards.

Santa, do you have any water sh**t in your bag?

- Yes, the whole sack is full of 'em.

All right, Santa, squirt me.

- Oh, I get it.

- Whoo! Keep 'em coming, Santa!

- Using the leftover Fizz b*mb Cola

made an excellent rocket fuel, Science Scout Squidina.

- Yep, the rocket burped us back.

- Yah!

Wow, would you mind teaching me some nerdy science stuff?

- Sure, if you'll teach me some airhead cheerleader stuff.

Whoa! Hey!

- Why don't you join the Science Scouts, Squidward?

- No thanks. Science is crazy and filled with lunatics.

- Speaking of luna, I wonder how old Spongebob doing.

- Good night, Earth.

Hey, I'm mooning you.

Hello, lady. You sure look lovely by moonlight.

- Aww! - Hey, mister!

I can see your bald spot.

Hey!

Don't be alarmed, people.

I'm only here till December,

when Santa brings everybody a new moon for Christmas.

- Come on! - Oh, sorry.

Just gave away the big surprise, didn't I?

Oh, well. Merry early Christmas!

- Ho ho ho.

You're a menace!