01x05 - Spock Amok

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Star Trek:
Strange New Worlds...

La'An.

- Hey, Chief.
- Wait, you two know each other?

LA'AN: She helped me
find my way back home.

She's the reason I joined Starfleet.

Spock, will you marry me?

- PIKE: We're going back out.
- SPOCK: I will meet you on board, Captain.

T'Pring will understand.

- I am sorry.
- I won't chase you

across the galaxy just to get married.

This is your idea of a practical joke.

- It's tradition.
- Hazing the newbie?

Consider it your first complete
square in Enterprise bingo.

SPOCK: Captain, your plan
requires flying the Enterprise

into one of the most
turbulent phenomenons in space.

All hands, make ready for impact.

- Hit it.
- [LOW CREAKING]

♪

[BRASSY RINGING]

Spock.

Your ears.

You're human.

T'Pring.

I will not marry a human.

I choose kal-if-fee.

That is ritual combat.

Who am I supposed to fight?

You will fight... him.

But fighting myself is...

... illogical.

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

What would you know of logic?

You are a human. Ruled by emotion.

No, I'm not human.

I'm not.

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

SPOCK: Science officer's
log, stardate . .

After our harrowing
encounter with the Gorn,

Enterprise has returned to Starbase ,

one of the oldest, most venerated
space stations in the Federation,

newly repaired after the Klingon w*r.

Here, the crew will be adjourning

for some much-needed
rest and relaxation.

While I have agreed
to assist the captain

with a diplomatic matter,

I plan to spend most of my time
here with my fiancée T'Pring,

who has arranged to join me

since our last visit was cut short by...

[DOOR CHIMES]

Come.

Spock, parted from me and never parted,

never and always touching and touched.

We meet at the appointed place.

T'Pring, parted from
me and never parted,

never and always touching and touched.

I await you.

This room they have
given us seems very...

... human.

It is hard to imagine that
a Vulcan has slept in here.

These are my quarters.

And... I am redecorating.

It is a work in progress.

Then I withdraw my criticism...

... until your decorations are complete.

Thank you for helping
arrange accommodations

for my colleague K'Tyll.

I trust she has found them adequate?

You will have to explain the
necessity of her presence here.

Do you understand my
professional responsibilities?

You undertake to rehabilitate those

who have committed
crimes by showing them

- the true path of Vulcan logic.
- Indeed.

I have a way with dangerous
criminals, it would seem.

One such criminal, Barjan T'or,

has been spotted in the vicinity.

Was he not responsible for
the uprising on Kepler- b?

He was. The authorities on Vulcan

have sought him for some time.

You must have important
work duties to perform here.

K'Tyll can handle Barjan.

That is why she has accompanied me.

Now I understand.

I have not forgotten that,
during our last time together,

it was your duty that interrupted us.

We must prioritize our relationship.

Of course.

I still have some
diplomatic responsibilities

I must dispense with before we...

I expected no different.

- You are disappointed.
- I am realistic.

I will be free in time for
us to dine together tonight.

I shall look forward to it.

The R'ongovian Protectorate

controls a small but
vitally important piece

of territory in between
Klingon and Romulan space.

It's the fastest route to the
other side of the Beta Quadrant,

but without safe passage,
we keep losing ships.

Why haven't we been able to
make inroads with them before?

They've been unusually
private up until now.

That all changed after
initial diplomatic discussions

were undertaken by the Tellarites.

Ah. And how did those go, sir?

Hmm.

Your beard is as ridiculous
as your proposals.

Every word you speak is
an insult to R'ongovia.

- I can see why they...
- PIKE: Wow.

And here I thought the
Tellarites were rude.

Maybe Ambassador Q'Ral
said the wrong thing.

We don't know, and we
can't wait long to find out.

We've just learned
the R'ongovians are now

in negotiation with the Klingons,

with the Romulans not far behind.

Time isn't on our side.

We need to strike a
deal with them first.

Well, I'm certain we
can handle the situation

with considerably more delicacy

and grace than the Tellarites, Bob.

Good, 'cause we're meeting
them tomorrow, first thing.

Who's leading the
negotiation on their side?

That's Vasso L'Gaelia,

captain of their flagship.

Docked right over there.

Is that an old solar sailship, sir?

Yeah. They bring her out
for ceremonial occasions.

When they sign a treaty,
apparently they fly the flag

of their new allies as a tribute.

LA'AN [OVER COMM]:
Noonien-Singh to the captain.

I'm afraid we have a bit of a situation.

- What's going on?
- I have the R'ongovian delegation here

and they're quite insistent
on seeing you right now.

What are they doing here?

No idea.

PIKE: Well, there's one way to find out.

Lieutenant Noonien-Singh, show them in.

What is this?

We have been waiting on our ship,

while you are here discussing
our upcoming negotiations?

You must be Captain Vasso.

And you are Pike?

Actually, I'm Admiral Robert April.

If I may...

I speak to Captain Pike only.

Well, I'm Captain Pike.

Nice to meet you.

Well, if I'd known
you were coming early,

I could have cooked you
up an Earth specialty.

[LAUGHS]

Captain Pike.

The pleasure is mine.

I am Vasso. This is
my first officer Brax.

Well, very nice to meet you both.

This is Lieutenant Spock and
Cadet Uhura, from the Enterprise.

And you've already met
Lieutenant Noonien-Singh.

Sir, I should go do the security things.

Yes, thank you, La'An. We're good.

You are Vulcan?

Famous for your logic, yes?

- Indeed.
- Then, your voice

is also a part of the Federation?

All members of the Federation
have a voice in its governance.

That sounds... confusing.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, it can be.

With so many voices in your Federation,

how do you decide
which one is in control?

We vote.

We gain our power
from all our membership

so we try to listen to each other.

All of us.

We, too, listen.

Empathy is a hallmark of our people.

Few understand that.

We shall sit and talk.

Uh, oh... Okay.

I guess, uh...

let's begin.

Doctor? Are you here?

Shore leave's a-wasting. We got to go.

- Is it time already?
- Are you serious?

Sorry.

I've been collecting data
to share with Dr. Berroa.

Is that his
you-know-what?

No. Expert in noninvasive
surgical techniques.

Cutting-edge stuff.

Except, uh, without the cutting.

- Oh...
- [CHUCKLES]

You know, she's come all the way

from the other side of the quadrant.

You don't want to be late to meet her.

- Right. Two minutes.
- How about you?

Excited to see Lieutenant Dever?

Sure.

So, how are we gonna play it this time?

You want me to keep the communicator on

or do we need a hand signal?

No need.

This is what I appreciate about Dever.

He and I are on the same page.

The "casual, no attachments,

this is just for fun,
zero commitments" page.

That's more like a book than a page.

And you said the same thing
about that gal on Argelius II.

That was a misunderstanding.

It was one time.

[CHUCKLES]: One very entertaining time.

How is being chased by
live phaser fire fun?

Oh, good, I was worried you
might show up in a silly hat.

[CLEARS THROAT] Yeah, I was gonna ask.

It's for fly-fishing.

I hear the biospheres have everything.

ORTEGAS: You know
what? I'm warming to it.

LA'AN: Lieutenant Ortegas, Dr. M'Benga

and Nurse Chapel, you are
officially checked out.

Enjoy your shore leave.

You don't have to do
this in person, you know.

Only way to make sure it's done right.

Nice hat, by the way.

Fine. I'll take it off.

What do you two have
planned for shore leave?

ORTEGAS: Are you kidding?

They don't shore leave. They shore stay.

M'BENGA: Oh, right.

The nickname.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I don't know what I'm saying.

I should probably go. Chief Kyle?

What nickname?

M'BENGA: I can't remember. It's, uh...

"Where fun goes to die."

It's stupid.

The yeomen don't know
what they're talking about.

If they did, they wouldn't be yeomen.

Energize.

[SCOFFS] Have you heard this, Chief?

No, no, of course not. Nope, no.

T'Pring.

I am sorry. The negotiations
commenced unexpectedly.

I do not doubt your duty's importance.

Yet we agreed this time would be for us.

I chose not to work even while I, too,

had important work to do.

A shared acceptance of mutual sacrifice

is crucial to a successful relationship.

Yes. That is indisputable.

I am concerned that
your time in Starfleet

may be causing you to behave
in a manner so... human,

we may ultimately find
ourselves incompatible.

Perhaps you should go prepare
for your important work.

If you will excuse me.

[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

PIKE: Space.

The final frontier.

These are the voyages of
the starship Enterprise.

Its five-year mission:

to explore strange new worlds...

... to seek out new life

and new civilizations,

to boldly go where no
one has gone before.

♪

♪

♪

♪

You look hot. Like, fire hot.

- Thank you.
- What about me?

Aren't I fire? We're two fires.

[LAUGHS]: Two fires. Yeah.

Hey, we don't have to
order food, you know?

- We could just get out of here.
- Yeah, but I'm hungry.

- And they have Slanikian oysters.
- Aha.

They're always in season.

All I'm saying is that
instead of talking,

we could be off having fun.

Oh, I thought we might talk about us.

Us?

Look, uh, I'm having fun and all.

I'm just wondering where it's going.

[FADING]: I had this crazy idea.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What if you transferred to the Skylark?

- Or I applied for transfer to Enterprise...
- Okay, wow.

Um, sorry, I really need to
go and check on my friend.

- What?
- I'll call you later, okay?

Why do you let it bother you?

- Hmm?
- "Where fun goes to die"?

It didn't bother me. I
just hadn't heard it before.

Have you?

No. And I don't care.

I don't, either. Just... not knowing

makes me feel out of touch.

As a senior officer, I don't get
to be part of the crew anymore.

Oh, no, that's not because
you're a senior officer.

It's because you terrify people.

- That's a compliment.
- Thanks?

I mean, what's wrong with liking work?

And shore leave, I mean,
the ship clears out,

the halls are empty, no lines
for the matter synthesizers.

It's just you and the gentle
thrum of the warp core.

It's like... it's like Christmas.

I was looking forward to
redoing the duty rosters.

I was planning on checking
the phaser power supplies

- in the armory, actually.
- [COMPUTER CHIMES]

COMPUTER: Attention,
Lieutenant Noonien-Singh,

security breach at Airlock Four.

- Unauthorized access in progress.
- Copy.

- Computer, who's on rotation for backup?
- Belay that.

I'm your backup.

People are idiots. You're fun.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

- Don't sh**t.
- Uh, we're crew.

You know, Spock, you're clearly

an extraordinarily intelligent person.

Thank you.

But you're also an idiot.

I feel I should have seen that coming.

Please, elucidate.

You told her you were
gonna be home for dinner

and then you weren't.

I found myself in an
impossible circumstance

where I was unable to
reconcile my many duties...

That is not a human
gesture I am familiar with.

It's designed to break old habits.

You're supposed to put
her ahead of your duties.

That's what being in a relationship is,

it's mutual sacrifice.

Pretty much why I avoid them.

I am concerned that T'Pring thinks

I am an incompatible mate
because I'm half-human.

Okay.

I had a terrible dream last night

that I had to fight my human side.

Vulcans don't do subtle, do you?

I was raised on Vulcan, among Vulcans.

My human family connection was
frequently used to isolate me.

Teenage Spock had a pretty
lousy time of it, huh?

I was bonded to my pet sehlatl-Chaya.

I had a malamute named Milo

who may or may not have bitten
this girl who called me stupid.

Sharp teeth.

I hope the girl did not
repeat the mistake again.

Look, uh, maybe T'Pring

just feels misunderstood.

If the human thing is big in her head,

you just have to make her see
that you get her as a Vulcan.

Thank you for your advice.

If I can ever return the favor,
please do not hesitate to ask.

What are friends for?

[WHISPERS]: What are friends for...

That was a rhetorical, Spock.

Oh, I know.

Humans are almost as
easy to tease as Vulcans.

T'PRING: Seriously?

A Vulcan soul-sharing?

I have failed to see your point of view.

This will change that.

I will hear your innermost thoughts.

And you mine.

In doing so, you will know my soul,

and I will know yours.

We can truly understand each other.

We will see through each other's eyes.

Will you consent?

I will.

[BELLS RINGING]

[SPEAKING VULCAN]

- Spock?
- T'pring?

Something is wrong.

Things have not returned
to as they should be.

The effects of the ritual
have not dissipated.

We have apparently switched bodies.

This was not meant to
happen. How do we switch back?

I do not know.

♪

- [DOOR CHIMES]
- Come.

Bob. Come here to celebrate?

Or not.

Is something wrong?

Got bad news, Chris.

The R'ongovians aren't happy.

They want to cancel all future meetings.

What? Why?

I don't know.

Uh, they just said that
a connection wasn't made.

Whatever that means.

I'm honestly baffled. You saw them.

I mean, after fighting
with the Tellarites,

I thought we'd somehow
managed to win them over.

Right? I mean, if that was
a bad diplomatic meeting,

I don't know what a
good one would look like.

We have to get back into a room.

Here's the thing, Chris.

We were able to talk them
into coming back to the table,

only, they don't want
to talk to you anymore.

Okay.

Who do they want to talk to?

[BOTH HUMMING]

- Anything?
- No.

But I have thought of another
adjustment we could try.

Spock, we have been at
these rituals for hours,

and none of them are working.

We may have to seek some help with this.

There is one more chant I'd like to try.

We might need a gong.

- I think I have one in my...
- [DOOR CHIMES]

What should we do?

You must answer it.
These are my quarters.

Anyone who comes here will
expect me to answer the door.

- I know how a door works.
- [DOOR CHIMES]

If they go away, that may give us
enough time to fix this situation.

Logic suggests the easiest
way to get them to go away

is for you to answer
while pretending to be me.

Spock, I do not like hijinks.

In that we are in agreement,
but it appears that hijinks

are the most logical course of action.

[DOOR CHIMES]

Enter.

Mr. Spock.

I apologize. I know I
promised I'd leave you alone.

Hi, T'Pring. I really
don't mean to interrupt.

It is of no consequence, Captain.

Uh, Chris.

If there is an emergency, then of course

you must speak with... Spock.

Who is right there.

Yeah, I-I can see that.

Although we are clearly
in the middle of something.

Look, I really don't
mean to come between

the two of you here,
with whatever's going on.

- Nothing is going on.
- We're meditating.

Perhaps it's best if you
leave us to our sacred things.

That's not necessary... Chris.

Please.

Tell us what you need.

We have a situation
with the R'ongovians.

They refuse to talk to anybody but you.

- What?
- SPOCK: But I can't...

I mean, he can't talk to them.

I really can't talk to them, Chris.

I'm engaged.

I don't think you're getting it, Spock.

They won't talk to anyone else.

You're pretty much all
that stands between us

and the R'ongovians allying with
the Klingons or the Romulans.

Hell, maybe both.

We should tell him.

- It is the only logical path.
- Agreed.

Captain, we have undertaken
a ritual to share our katras.

It has had unforeseen consequences.

T'PRING: We have switched bodies.

And we seem unable to switch back.

[CHUCKLES]

Get out of town.

We are not in a town.

You guys did a body swap?

Like, you... like, your
minds are in each other's...

SPOCK: That is correct.

I am Spock.

And I am T'Pring.

Now that you know, you can likely tell

the very clear differences
in our mannerisms.

Yeah, totally.

Look, I don't know
what to do about this,

but the R'ongovians won't
meet with anybody but Spock.

Or somebody who looks like him.

I do not want to put
T'Pring through that.

- It takes a lot of experience to...
- I will do it.

T'Pring, are you quite certain?

We have undergone this ritual in order

to better understand
each other, correct?

- Yes, but that...
- Then, is this not an opportunity

for us to do that?

I will accompany Chris.

You remain here and find a
way to reverse the ritual.

Captain? Tell me what I need to do.

[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT]

- Bad cop!
- Damn!

Got to be quicker, Chief.

Do you realize what kind of
trouble you're in, Ensign?

Um, no?

I'd start talking, or
the next time you do

will be at your court-martial.

I was an ensign once, too.

I understand being nervous.

I just don't want to get in any trouble.

You won't. Do you want some coffee?

[CHRISTINA CRIES]

It was Enterprise bingo.

We were doing Enterprise...

Bingo. I heard you.

[ZIER LAUGHS]

That's so interesting.

That's not even the best part.

We were on the last square,

so we were trying to Sign the Scorch.

UNA: Ensigns Zier and Christina,

we've heard your explanations.

Enterprise bingo. Signing the Scorch.

UNA: We can't overlook the
fact that both of you acted

in a very irresponsible manner.

- Very.
- Your shore leave is revoked.

You'll spend the next two
days assigned to Chief Kyle...

- No, not Chief Kyle.
- He's so mean.

... who will have you
micro-cleaning the transporter pads.

Dismissed.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What the hell is Enterprise bingo?

Not a clue.

[DEVICE RINGING]

Greetings, K'Tyll. T'Pring is not...

That is, I am not...

Never mind.

Forgive my intrusion, T'Pring.

I know you asked that I not disturb you,

but there has been a problem
with the rendezvous with Barjan.

- What type of a problem?
- He has agreed to immediate surrender,

but he has refused to meet with me.

He will only speak to you.

K'Tyll, I am not feeling... myself.

I'm afraid we need you.

No other Vulcan could pull this off.

I am sure that I am great at this,

but circumstances are complicated

between Spock and myself at the moment.

I know how important
this time is for you two,

so I will not ask you
to make that sacrifice.

I will merely reiterate our mission,

as you have always explained it.

If not for us,

who else will help them
back to the path of logic?

Only you can do this, T'Pring.

So, Enterprise bingo is a game?

Apparently one played exclusively

by the ensign class and lower.

In order to achieve "bingo,"

a crew member must perform the
series of tasks on this list.

This is quite comprehensive.
Where'd you get this?

Confiscated it from
Ensign Zier's quarters

during routine inspection.

Don't give me that look.
I was just doing my job.

Sure you were.

Well, if this is what passes for fun,

I'm happy to be fun's funeral.

Where-where fun goes to die.

- Not fun's funeral.
- Whatever.

I'll never understand it.

I guess we could.

- What?
- Understand it.

I mean, if we wanted to, you know,

get a better understanding of the crew.

[GUM POPS]

- Okay, flavor's gone.
- UNA: Roger that.

Energize.

And? Flavor check.

Spearmint again. Wow.

Yes.

[MELODY PLAYS]

One, two, three.

- Bridge!
- Engineering!

COMPUTER: Destination Engineering.

- [WHOOPS]
- [GROANS] Okay, fine.

Damn it. Okay.

Best two out of three. Go.

♪

Lowest setting.

Ready?

Aim.

Wait.

Ow.

That really stings.

Uh...

We having fun yet?

ORTEGAS: So, did you tell
Dever how you really feel?

CHAPEL: No.

I was worried he'd try
to get serious again.

ORTEGAS: What did he do?

CHAPEL: He tried to read
me some of his poetry.

Oh, sweet heaven. [CHUCKLES]

- Was it any good?
- Oddly, not terrible.

Also not the point.

It just seemed time
to set some boundaries.

Smart. Is that Spock's girlfriend?

Hard to tell, but does she look pissed?

Oh, I should tell you something.

She's heading over here. Tell me what?

Oh, um, I might have given
Spock some relationship advice.

Are you serious?

Never get in the middle
of a Vulcan relationship.

They will hit you with a lirpa.

Trust me.

Have you ever fought with a lirpa?

I have actual scars.

Nurse Chapel, may we talk?

Alone?

Good luck, you two.

Uh... hi.

I'm in need of your help.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just seriously did not think

you would take my advice this far.

It was not intentional.

It must be so weird,

being inside your fiancée's body.

I had not taken the time to consider it.

Really?

It is... different.

- Uh-huh.
- But, as it is my fault,

I am afraid that I am now
endangering T'Pring's career,

as she works to save mine.

There must be a medical solution.

[SIGHS] Okay. Yeah.

I mean, sure, but a-a medical
solution is gonna take time.

Meanwhile,

you clearly have a
relationship opportunity.

Are you suggesting that I
should attempt to do her job?

She's doing yours.

Why don't you help her out?

Use some of that good old
Vulcan logic she prizes so much.

This is coming dangerously
close to hijinks.

Hey. Who doesn't love hijinks?

I'm not feeling it.

I mean, I felt it when
you sh*t me with a phaser.

But no, not feeling it, either.

Maybe it's because I didn't have
a childhood like everyone else

that I don't idealize childish behavior.

So, are we done with
this pointless exercise?

- No.
- No?

- We're finishing the list.
- Look, I know it was my idea,

but, I mean, how much
more insight into the crew

do we actually need?

Enterprise bingo. What's the point?

A way to blow off steam?

To do something risky
just for the thrill of it.

To break the rules.

Only we make the rules.

Bingo.

Exactly.

Which means we have to find
another way to break them.

T'PRING: Query.

Is the R'ongovian Protectorate aware of

the Klingon history
of cultural domination?

VASSO: Response.

Merely pointing out the risks
of an alliance with the Klingons

does not make an adequate
argument for the Federation.

Understandably, I'm
trying to prepare you

for the logical fallout
should these negotiations fail.

Which, in essence, is a thr*at.

Is it just me or do the R'ongovians
suddenly seem awfully Vulcan-y?

Shh. We're supposed
to be observers only.

What is the logic of an
alliance with a culture

whose central purpose is the subjugation

of other cultures to its own?

What is the logic of an
alliance with a Federation

whose interdependence merely dilutes
the cultures that comprise it?

- [SIGHS]
- Spock can handle it.

As a Vulcan, I sympathize
with your fears...

that you will lose your
culture to h*m*

in a multilateral alliance like ours.

There are times I wish
I could return to Vulcan

to focus on my culture,

instead of traveling the
galaxy focusing on Starfleet.

VASSO: I am confused.

Are you saying that you do
not value the Federation?

[WHISPERS]: Chris.
Chris. What are you doing?

PIKE: My apologies,
Captain, if I may interject?

BRAX: You may not.

You are here as a courtesy.

I am not speaking up on
behalf of the Federation.

Rather, I am speaking up on
behalf of Lieutenant Spock.

That is...

What?

We will allow it.

PIKE: Thank you.

If I may, Spock.

It is a noble sacrifice you've made,

to spend so much time
away from your own culture.

- It is?
- PIKE: Yes, it is.

Your commitment to the Federation

and to understanding both
the values and plights

of cultures wildly different,

sometimes at great personal cost,

your constant striving
for intellectual excellence

and your commitment to the
spirit of duty is inspirational.

To answer the question,
"Why the Federation?"

one need only look across
the table, Captain Vasso.

You, Mr. Spock,

are simply everything that
is great about Starfleet.

I...

Thank you, Captain.

I am so sorry, I didn't
mean to interrupt.

I hope I haven't insulted
you with my presence.

[WHISPERS]: I should never
have put you in this position.

Let's get you out of here.

Wait.

Your actions have impressed us, Captain,

defending your crewman like that.

We will conclude this session

but will offer you the opportunity

of summation before we leave.

♪

[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[FISHING POLE WHIRRING]

♪

♪

CHAPEL: You sure you want me there?

SPOCK: If I talk to him alone,

he is likely to realize
that something is amiss.

If I bring a human ally
to surrender negotiations,

it might give me a chance.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- MALE: I believe it is your move.
- Barjan.

This is my colleague,
Nurse Christine Chapel.

I was clear that I would only
speak to you alone, T'Pring.

Given that you are v'tosh ka'tur,

I did not think that you would
object to a human joining us.

Since when does El-Keshtanktil
employ humans in service of logic?

- Well...
- I... I'm here to, uh, show you

that she's not all about logic.

You know, to make you
feel more comfortable.

I always found you curious
among Vulcans, T'Pring,

for your tolerance of these creatures.

My sympathy for those without
logic is why I am here.

Given your position,

I would think you would
be more open-minded.

It is one thing to see
strength in emotion.

It's another thing entirely
to marry a half-human.

It is well known you are
betrothed to the son of Sarek.

What of it?

You defend Vulcan ideals with one hand,

- insult them with the other.
- Hey.

You know what?

I work with Spock.

He's twice the Vulcan you are.

A human's assessment is
hardly the basis for insult.

As fascinating as your
opinions about humans are...

... logic dictates that I ask
if there are any circumstances

under which you would accept
our offer of rehabilitation?

At this point, no.

See, that's a tell.

You're here, ergo, you want something.

Indeed. So what is it?

Humans evolved from apes, did they not?

You've kept many of
their charming qualities,

it would seem.

I would caution you to
stop insulting my companion.

Would you lose the opportunity
to bring me in over mere words?

- Indeed, I would.
- That doesn't seem very logical.

Says a Vulcan who has rejected logic.

To tell you the truth, I came here today

with every intention of
considering rehabilitation.

But the company you
keep changed my mind.

- You listen here, you...
- [GRUNTS]

[OTHERS MURMURING]

Perhaps we should keep
the details of how exactly

we captured Barjan between us.

My response was a tad...

too human.

I'd say just the right amount.

In all my time studying Vulcan medicine,

I never got to deal
with a katric transfer.

They are exceedingly rare.

Glucose levels steady.

Cortical patterns holding.

And what is this noxious paste
you are applying to our skulls?

Ground Nivallan sea urchin.

It's nutrient-rich, water-resistant

and a pretty good match for Vulcan skin,

electromagnetically-speaking.

He's been dying to use this stuff

ever since he picked it up.

Trust me, this will
become Federation-standard.

Eventually.

And now that you've covered
our heads in sea urchin paste?

Cortical stimulation will mimic

the original brain
patterns of your host body,

making it uncomfortable
for any visitors in there.

We zap you, you switch back.

Theoretically.

T'PRING: Theoretically?

Katras bridge the gap
between medicine and...

something else.

Magic?

The mind.

So it's not cut-and-dry.

Emotion plays a part.

I think that's what happened here.

They're gonna nerve pinch
us for this, aren't they?

[CHUCKLES] Yes, probably.

[SCREAMING]

Nurse Chapel.

You know you can call me Christine.

Christine.

I want to thank you again for your help.

Hey, no big deal.

Perhaps not.

But for me the deal was very big.

Very big, indeed.

Just try to be honest

with what you can and
can't offer from now on.

You needn't worry.

Vulcans cannot lie.

At least, not in the
way that humans can.

I mean honest with yourself.

[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

I admit I have been afraid

that I was not Vulcan enough for you.

That...

you saw me as human,

more concerned about
my duty to Starfleet

than to my culture

or my betrothed.

My feelings about Vulcan are not easy.

On our world, I was forced
to prove my Vulcan-ness.

Any deviation was seen
as proof I did not belong.

In Starfleet, I am
accepted for who I am.

Half-Vulcan, half-human.

I am...

... quite simply, Spock.

I know how much you value duty.

And I feared that you saw
our relationship as just that:

a duty,

rather than something more.

We must both want to be here.

I do.

As do I.

[SPEAKS VULCAN]

Do you know what you're
gonna say to them, sir?

I certainly hope so.

Come on, Bob. Where's the drama in that?

[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT]

Well, Captain. Tell us.

Why should we ally with your Federation?

- Easy. You shouldn't.
- Chris.

Why would you want to turn
our enemies into your enemies?

We're just a few years
clear of the Klingon w*r.

The Romulans are out
there biding their time.

Who knows what species
we'll piss off next?

And it's not like we've coming to you

with any great respect for your culture.

We barely know anything about it.

Now, it's pretty clear we're only
interested in you for your territory.

And what would you get in return?

The hypothetical benefit
of new trade markets?

Scientific advancement?

Our promise of support
in the event of a crisis

which will probably only come about

because you've thrown
your lot in with us?

No.

The Federation has lots to offer, sure,

but it always exacts a price.

You have good reason to suspect

that price is too high for you to pay.

Thank you.

[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN]

[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT]

- Chris, what the hell was that?
- Playing a hunch.

You're risking an alliance
that could be the key

to the Federation's
future security on a hunch?

- It's a good hunch.
- Chris.

The R'ongovians were

rude to the Tellarites,

reasonable with us

and deeply logical when
talking to a Vulcan.

So, you're saying they copy

anyone they come into contact with?

Yeah, that's what I thought at first.

And then it occurred to me,

what if this was a diplomatic technique?

They responded positively
when I took Spock's side,

even though it was in direct
violation of what they'd asked.

Maybe they're just looking for somebody

to take their point of view.

Radical empathy.

Maybe what they value the most in others

is the capacity to see things their way.

UHURA: They're flying our flag.

Looks like we have a new ally.

Hell of a job, Chris.

One thing's for sure,

no one's signed the
scorch like this before.

And we're % sure the
force field will hold?

%, at least.

Well, we did it.

Broke the rules.

I mean, there has to be a
rule against this, right?

Has to be.

Is that the scorch?

[SIGHS]

The oldest unreplaced piece

of the Enterprise's hull.

It's supposed to be
good luck to sign it.

Una.

[BOTH GASP]

It's...

Yeah. It is.

[LAUGHING]

You know, I enjoyed
being Mr. Spock for a day.

In the spirit of total honesty,

I should probably tell
you that I punched Barjan.

Having met him, that is logical.

["I'M LOOKING" BY
KINGS & QUEENS PLAYING]

♪ I've been looking for love ♪

♪ In all the wrong places ♪

♪ Looking for love ♪

♪ On all the wrong faces ♪

♪ And I got to... ♪

ORTEGAS: How'd things end with Dever?

I told him how boring he was.

Maybe try that next time
you're in a relationship.

Try what?

Being honest.

Nah, that means the
relationship might get serious.

So?

It would have to be the right guy.

I, uh, I...

What?

Nothing. No.

Mm-mmm.

♪ They blow away ♪

♪ Never to say ♪

♪ Never ♪

♪ Never to tell them again ♪

♪ I've been looking for love ♪

♪ In all the wrong places ♪

♪ I've been looking for love ♪

♪ On all the wrong faces ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ That I keep on searching ♪

♪ 'Cause this ain't love ♪

♪ That I found with you ♪

♪ Sometimes I feel like I ♪

♪ Got all the riches, baby. ♪