02x22 - Big Time Wedding

[bunniefuu]

Gustavo, why are we here on our day off?

And do we wear jackets and ties?

And do we wear jackets and ties?

Because we get a generous visit from the country where you had your first number one hit.

I introduce you to His Royal Highness...

the king of Kerplankistan.

Big Time Rush...

We are very very big fans of you in our country.

And we have traveled very far to meet you.

Bow, bow!

Oh sorry.

Oh, hail thy mustache.

Oh, hail your highness.

But your biggest fan is my beautiful daughter...

Princess Svetlana.

Well...

Which of them do you want to marry?

Make it count, play it straight. Don't look back, don't hesitate

Make it count, play fair. Don't look back, don't doubt

When you go big time

If you're all for it

What you want, what you feel. Never quitin', make it real

What you want, what you feel. Don't ever stop, make it happen

When you go big time

If you're all for it

oh oh. Hey, hey, listen to your heart now

oh oh. Hey hey listen to your heart now

Hey hey, don't you feel the rush?

Hey hey, don't you feel that kick?

oh, oh. oh, oh. ohhhhh

oh, oh. oh, oh. ohhhhh

Go and shake it up. What ya gotta lose?

Go and shake it up. What have you got to lose?

Go and make your luck with the life you choose

Go and get lucky with the life you choose

If you want it all, lay it on the line

If you want it all, risk it

It's the only life you've got so you gotta live it big time

It's the only life you have so you gotta live it big

Subtitle by

DryYoshi/Jeffrey

Well? There are posters of them all over your room.

You must want to marry one of them.

But Dad, they're all so cute.

Yes, well...

All right then. Which one of you wants to propose to the princess?

Your Highness, the boys are just uh... The boys...

Very noble.

They don't want to dishonor their brothers.

Precisely!

Precisely!

You understand.

Get them knives.

So that they can fight for her.

No no no!

No no no!

Before we start the Kn*fe fight, we need to have a... meeting.

Yes, band meeting. Band Meeting!

We'll be right back!

What is going on here?

They said it was a VIP visit.

I thought the princess just wanted some autographs, not a husband!

Even if she is beautiful and I would of course be a great prince.

Okay, hoods. Right now.

Okay, before this blows up into a big international thing...

Go back to the Palm Woods and lock yourself in your "crib" until we sort this out.

Okay, but how do we get past the big guards with the big knives?

I promised myself I wouldn't show this to anyone.

You must solve these three riddles to get to street level.

go now!

Get out of here.

Where are hot singing boys?

Well, your...

nice offer she gave...

gas cramps.

So they're gone.

I was also very gassy on my wedding day.

We go to our suite in Palm Woods and wait for their proposal.

Ground Boy!

wow. Buddha Bob. What is it?

Immigration Service.

Your friend's work visa expires in three hours...

which is just enough time to get him to the airport and back to Canada.

Are you from Canada?

Yes, I never talk about it.

Tell your family...

that I will miss them dearly.

Wait, you can't do this. He is an upstanding member of society.

Keep it to yourself, little one.

Unless Big Foot saves the president's life here or marries an American citizen in the next three hours...

he goes back to the mountains.

He's engaged.

To who?

To my mother.

They're getting married in three hours.

Oh, so he can stay.

For now.

But I'll be back in three hours...

because I'm pretty sure there's no wedding.

Do you want the chicken or the fish?

We're not getting married!

We made it.

And we are still single.

And we're really not ready to get married.

Doesn't matter what kind of a good prince I would be.

What do you mean?

I'm just saying I think she'd pick me.

I always thought I'd be a good prince.

And she would choose me.

Who cares!

We're going to do what Gustavo said.

What is: stay here, keep a low profile and stay away from the beautiful pretty princess.

Are you all in?

Oh...

Don't get married!

Where's James?

Oh no.

Find him!

Run!

I don't want to marry her.

I just want to talk to her and let her confirm that she would choose me...

as her prince.

I'm going alone

grab something.

Mom, will you do something for me?

Of course baby. What is it?

Do you want to marry Buddha Bob?

Open, open.

It's just to prevent him from being deported.

And in addition, I already told the government that you are getting married today.

you got what?

Hello my love.

These are for you.

Mom, we've been accusing him a bit.

Remember when he saved my life?

Careful Katie, the floor is wet.

Oh.

Thank you.

Without his warning, I could have been dead.

And you can always divorce him and you don't even have to change your last name.

Unless you want to.

My last name is Poopsalot.

Buddha Bob, I'm sorry you're being deported.

But even if I wanted to marry you, and I don't want to...

can't get you a wedding ceremony and a preacher in hours.

Did someone call for a preacher?

Who's getting married?

James?

What are you doing here?

And even though I can't marry you, I still want to know we chose you as prince.

Me, right?

I can't find a red one.

No no no, James.

You don't get it...

Oh yes, royalty. Kneel down.

ah!

It is James who is going to marry Svetlana.

Say that again.

What have you done?!

I only gave her a rose!

And in our country that is a marriage proposal!

Yes.

I have.

It is tradition in Kerplankistan that the man gives a white rose at the marriage proposal.

But you are no longer in Kerplankistan...

you are on American soil.

Ground Boy always ensures that we are on Kerplankistan soil.

Now we need to get ready for the Big Time wedding!

Help!

Mr Bitters, I'm sorry you put on that dreadful robe.

But no one is getting married here!

Well, thanks for trying Katie.

Please, you can have this one.

You can also have Unstoppie.

He can unclog everything.

Except my heart.

Now I have to leave this place and all the people I love.

You let a good man go.

I'm not marrying Buddha Bob!

So whine what you want...

because no matter how much you cry, I'll never change my mind.

By the power within me, by an ad I answered in the back of a collector's shoe catalog...

I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

No!

Beautiful wedding, don't you think?

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

But I'll watch you like a hawk to prove this marriage is a scam.

Oh, the polonaise.

We got here as fast as I could.

Mileson Crane of Justice.

She's going to help us get James back.

Beautiful.

But we have to deal with this diplomatically.

Kerplankistan has a natural resource that our country urgently needs.

Oil.

mustache paint.

And now... Call James and tell him not to panic and stay where he is.

He passes.

Hello?

James, are you okay?

Look, we've got the state department here and we're going to cancel your wedding.

Whatever you do, don't try to run away.

Too late!

Okay, what happens now?

Two possibilities.

One: James escapes the guards and we hide him in an Alaskan cave until the king gives up.

Or two:

The guards are faster than him and the king locks him in a tower.

He locked me up in the tower!!!

Help!

heeelp!

James, close your eyes and jump on the trap net.

How do I know you'll catch me?

Just throw something else down, we'll show you it's perfectly safe.

Throw it down!

Okay, now you!

Hey, chick.

What about lunch?

Oh no, I'm not making you lunch.

Of course not.

I made lunch for you.

Would you rather have a salad or...

or you can go a little wild and have a hamburger with homemade pommes frites.

Mom, have the burger. It tastes great.

have you made all this?

Yes, I also fixed your hair dryer, replaced these bulbs and changed the oil in your car.

I like to stay busy.

Here you go, miss.

ah!

How is the happy couple doing?

Fantastic.

Oh really?

Where then is the man of this household?

I make brownies.

Does he make brownies?

Okay, everything seems to be going well here.

But I'll be back.

Bye.

Crazy, we did it!

And I'm going to the games room to celebrate.

Not until you've practiced your violin, young lady.

Dude, he's gone. You can stop acting.

How do you mean? Start practicing.

just play some mo

ois.

Okay, since we can't get James out of the tower...

we must make sure that no one who can make him marry the princess enters.

Still, there should be more dirt on this wedding.

Oh, Ground Boy!

You have to help us.

Please tell us the wedding plans so we can stop it and save our friend.

Please.

Why would you want to stop it?

Your boyfriend is the luckiest man in the whole world.

The princess is beautiful and has a pure heart.

And she has many goats.

Yes, she is hot and has many goats. Where is the wedding?

There is ceremony of secrets in park.

Help me!

Help!

Gustavo, with Kendall.

See us in the park!

Well... This is a standard immigration test to determine how well a couple knows each other.

Or don't know.

Weird holding hands...

Now, question number one.

Describe your first date in detail.

It was at the zoo.

It was at the iced yogurt shop.

It was the iced yogurt stall at the zoo.

The sun danced from Jennifer's eyes as we fed each other iced yogurt.

And you heard birds calling.

Then we walked through the garden.

We shared our hopes and dreams.

And then what happened?

As if you don't know that anymore.

We went to the beach...

We tucked our feet into the cool cool sand to watch the most spectacular sunset of our lives.

Now if you'll excuse me...

I am now going to remodel my wife's bathroom so she can have the sanctuary she deserves.

Honey, what kind of tiles do you prefer?

That.

Well... I'm going to inform my supervisor of my findings.

We'll let you know our decision.

Did you mess it up?

Because I think the violin is stupid...

and Buddha Bob might enjoy being back in Canada.

I don't hear any practice!

The ceremony of secrets is where you build a lot of trust.

By telling each other a secret so deep...

that only you know and bring it to your grave.

It is tradition that the man starts.

Okay, here's a secret for you...

I don't want to marry you.

Maybe it's my age or the men with the knives...

or, I don't know, the costume I'm wearing, but...

I do not feel like it.

James, I don't want to marry you either.

What? Wait, why? Because seriously, I'm a good catch.

My heart belongs to someone else.

Ground Boy?

He has been by my side all my life.

And under that dirty exterior...

Sit my true love.

Okay, the ceremony of secrets is over.

Now we go to the airport to catch a plane back to Kerplankistan.

No, we...

Maybe we can wait until tomorrow. Get some food and talk about it.

Wait, wait, stop!

What are you doing?!

After them!

Hop, hop, hop!

Here comes the king!

James. Come on, help him up.

And I was going to invite you to the wedding with a few others.

But now you are all...

Listen, king dude.

It is over.

He is right, Your Highness.

Who are you?

Mileson Crane of Justice.

I've been following this case and you can't force James to marry your daughter.

You mean I can't let daughter marry pretty pop star?

Well, if you held the wedding at the Kerplankistan embassy where our rules don't apply...

then it is possible.

Well, then we'll have wedding in embassy.

Wait, what?

Goodbye, suckers.

Guys, guys...

Guys, guys!

Help!

You are very angry with me now.

So, I reviewed the evidence and determined that this marriage...

is real.

And it's beautiful.

Welcome to America.

Yes!

What a relief.

Okay okay okay.

Well, bitch.

I'm going to finish tiling your bathroom.

So there you are.

You're not going to believe this...

It turns out my pastor's license expired eight years ago.

So you and Buddha Bob were never really married.

Here's the tape.

Well, looks like I don't need these anymore.

I'm going to tell Buddha Bob to leave.

No, wait a minute.

Let's wait for him to finish my bathroom.

Unbelievable, in a few minutes James will be the Prince of Kerplankistan.

And he gets a lot of goats.

We have to do something.

Yes what? There are guards with swords at each entrance.

I can get you in.

Why would you want to help us?

I'm afraid James is a handsome idiot.

The princess ver

it is to marry the one who really loves her.

But how do we get in?

Wait for my sign.

This is my sign!

This is my sign!

Hop, hop, hop!

Do you, Princess Svetlana, take James Diamond as your faithful husband?

I...

I want.

Do you, James Diamond, take Princess Svetlana as your faithful wife?

not...

Well...

We are here.

The traffic was awful.

How do they get in here?

Are we too late to toast?

On James!

Stop them!

Sorry, but we need to borrow James.

Nice try, Big Time Rush.

But that boy is now going to marry my daughter.

I recommend it!

James!

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Ground Boy.

Ground Boy?

Ground Boy!

Princess Marrying a Ground Boy?

That is not possible.

Well, you ordered that boy to marry your daughter.

Daddy, you know I've always loved Ground Boy.

And you know that I will treat the princess like queen.

Well...

At least it's not Goat Poo Boy

This wedding...

has been approved by me.

That was actually a very beautiful wedding.

And it gets better.

Because I have four other daughters.

Which one does each of you want to marry?

Yes... run.

Grab them.

wedding cake?

I love wedding cake.

Step it up, get in gear. Go for broke, make it clear

Come on, get started. Go for it, make it clear

Gotta go big time

You have to go hard for it

Make it work, get it right. Change the world overnight

Make it work, do it right. Change the world tonight

Gotta dream big time

Must dream big

Hey Hey. Give it all you got now

Hey, hey. Give it all you've got now

Hey Hey. Isn't it a rush?

Hey, hey. Isn't it a kick?

Go and shake it up, what you got to lose?

Go and shake it up. What have you got to lose?

Go and make your luck with the life you choose

Go and get lucky with the life you choose

If you want it all, lay it on the line

If you want it all, risk it

It's the only life you've got, so you gotta live it big time

It's the only life you have so you gotta live it big