07x02 - Sandbusted

[bunniefuu]

[Hiccup]

This changes everything.

[grunting, sighs]

Yeah.

[rumbling]

[gasps]

[roars]

[screams]

[Hiccup]

Eh! Just like I remember.

Hey! Whatcha got there? - [stammers]

Nothing.

- Uh, if it's nothing, then give me it.

Hookfang and I are making a ceremonial bust of yours truly and we need all the junk metal we can melt down.

What? This isn't junk.

It's my betrothal gift to Astrid.

It means we'll be together forever.

Forever? Well, not if you give her that rusty [sighs]

Hey, you know what would be a great idea? A decorative battering ram.

Oh! How about a shiny new ball and chain? Wait! A bludgeon with her initials! Ow.

[Fishlegs]

Ah, Astrid.

Fishlegs, unless this has to do with Hiccup's betrothal gift, the one I haven't gotten him yet, the one I have have no clue where to start.

The ceremonial betrothal gift must be exchanged six moon cycles from the first announcement of a couple's Well - Betrothal? - Yes! Ah, look at me.

I'm a wreck.

You'd think I was the one 48 hours away from complete disaster, but it's you Ew! [grunts]

[screams]

What is wrong with you? [groans]

Astrid, wait.

I can help.

- Okay.

Who knows Hiccup better than I do? - Me.

Good point.

Then you know what an amazing gift-giver he is.

[grunts]

Yes.

That's the problem.

Hiccup is not your ordinary Viking.

He has a Night Fury.

He can fly with a suit made of yak hides.

He has a sword that ignites on command.

And he's going to be the next Chief of Berk.

Wow.

Well, when you put it like that, you really are completely Hey, guys, I just got a T-mail from Trader Johann, and it didn't sound good.

All it says is that he needs our help and to come quickly.

And you immediately wrote him back a big, old, "No, thank you," I assume.

- Why would I do that? - That guy is bad luck, Hiccup.

Last time we got a T-mail from TJ, we almost got eaten by an island of very angry and very wild dragons.

Okay.

Tell you what, Snotlout, you can stay here.

By myself? No, thank you.

I'm just saying, this sucks.

Hey, Astrid, can I talk to you for a second? Oh.

Uh, better wait on that.

- Don't wanna leave Trader Johann hanging.

- Huh? Ha! [Stormfly screeching]

Uh, what-what's happening? Don't ask me.

She's your betrothed.

[wind blowing]

[dragon screeching]

[Hiccup]

Astrid! Astrid! [grunts]

[Hiccup grunting]

Astrid, will you just keep Stormfly steady for a minute? Sorry.

She's feisty today.

[grunting]

Must be the excitement to see Trader Johann.

She really likes him.

[gasps, screeches]

She really What? Since when? Astrid! [screeches]

[man]

Hey! Ugh! Didn't this used to be crowded? Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

We'd have been robbed at least three times by now.

I miss that charm.

Everything from glass trinkets to golden chalices, vanished.

And the traders? Gone without a trace.

You seem to be okay, Johann.

Has anything of yours been taken? Master Hiccup, leave it to you to find the silver lining in a dark, mysterious cloud.

Yeah, maybe they just packed up and left? You didn't tell them any of your boring stories, did you, Johann? I assure you, my tales of adventure and revelry are the preeminent part of any weary traveler's day.

- Uh - Case solved.

Anyone wanna race me to the Edge? [man]

Deep within the bowels Uh, guys, I don't think this is about Johann.

Okay, Fishlegs.

Then what is it about? The Curse of Tears.

[sobbing]

It's that word.

Makes him open up like a water spout.

Ever since we were kids.

Oh, what word? "Tears"? [sobbing]

- Really? - Sorry.

Jeez, Louise.

Tears.

[sighs]

Fishlegs, can you explain? As I was saying, if the Curse of T Oh.

If the curse of you-know-what is real, and I'm not saying it is, many traders and valuables have fallen victim to it and vanished, never to be heard from again.

Well, I like a good mystery as well as anyone, but I promised Hookfang we could roll in some yak dung back home.

So you can keep your curse.

And you! Tears.

[sobbing]

Hang on.

We at least need to check this out.

All right, let's split up and look around.

Look for any signs of a struggle.

Astrid, you can team up with me.

What better place to find a gift for the Viking who has everything? Great idea, Fishlegs.

Shopping can be so relaxing.

Therapeutic, even.

[sobs]

This spear is barbed on the top.

So while the head will slide into the victim, pulling it out is a different story.

[laughs]

And a story I, for one, would love to hear.

- Chapter and verse, please.

- Hiccup with a spear.

Really? How about something portable? Hmm.

Maybe this seax? Made from the neck bone of a dragon.

Right.

I suppose dragon bone is a no-no.

- [Tuffnut]

Not cool.

- Oh.

I do now carry a wide array of items.

This decorative dish, for example.

Uh, how about a working ball and chain? [laughs]

Hiccup can take off his leg.

You really think that's gonna hold him? All right, all right.

I was reserving this for my most special customer but Um, a map? [scoffs]

He wants me to get Hiccup a map.

Ooh, but it's so much more than just a map.

It is told that whoever can decipher it, can find their way to the Treasure of Tears.

[sobs]

Curse of Tears, Treasure of Tears.

- Makes sense they'd go together.

- For the love of Thor, have you no soul? Look at this poor man.

No, and no.

Treasure map.

[scoffs]

The first thing we have to figure out, is there really a curse? And, if there is, where did it start? Whose curse is it? Are you even listening to me? Snotlout, where did you get that? Your saddlebag.

You should be more careful around here.

[sighs]

You know what this needs? To be out of your grubby hands? It needs a chain.

Then at least Astrid can wear the stupid thing.

Otherwise, it's just an anchor for a very tiny boat.

- See? Looks nice, right? - Would you give me that? [laughs, gasps]

I'm guessing you want that back.

[roaring]

Snotlout! [Berthel]

Catch, Amos! [Amos grunting]

Amos? [all gasping]

[gasps]

Look! [Toothless growling]

[gasps]

[man chuckling]

Where'd he go? I don't know.

I lost track of who we were chasing.

I hate being confused! Really? I figured you'd be used to it by now.

Heard that.

Hookfang! There! [screeches]

[growls]

[Hiccup exclaiming]

[grunts, chuckles]

[groans]

Help! The Curse of Tears is real! [Hiccup grunting]

[sighs]

Uh The footprints just stop.

I mean, he couldn't have disappeared.

Well, maybe it's the Curse of Tears.

Ooh! Scary.

- Never seen anything like this.

- Me, neither.

[screams]

Oh, no! Hiccup! Help! [growling]

[Hiccup screaming]

Toothless! [grunting]

Hang on, bud! [shrieks]

[both screaming]

[roars]

[groans]

Where are we? Who cares? Look around you.

[laughing]

Gold, silver, silver, gold.

How I love thee to caress and to hold [screams]

Whoa.

Oof.

[gasps]

Aw, man.

What is with these bones? They're ruining my treasure pleasure.

It's not your treasure.

And from the looks of things, having it didn't help these guys much.

We need to worry less about this junk, and figure a way out of here or all the treasure in the world won't help us.

Okay, first things first.

I need something to replace my leg.

Ooh, a leg, you say? I have just the thing.

[grunts]

Snotlout, what are you [babbling]

Shush, you! [grunts]

There.

Trust me.

He won't miss it.

Thank you, dead body.

[chuckles]

[grunts]

I guess I can live with that.

Now, we need a plan before that sand thing comes back.

Hmm.

This stuff is everywhere.

[chuckles]

No kidding.

Look.

And voilà ! You, my good fellow, are the model of a modern Viking gentleman.

Every Viking leader needs a formal attire.

Am I right? - [shouts]

Am I right? - Yes! [groans]

Indubitably.

Mm-mm.

[yells]

Her fashion sense is dreadful.

Uh, just dreadful.

- Scarf exit.

- Time is wasting.

Listen, [sighs]

I think we just have to face the facts, Fishlegs.

There's nothing I can get Hiccup Haddock that he doesn't have, doesn't want, or doesn't need.

I'm useless.

[screeching]

What is it? What's going on, boy? [grunts]

It's Hiccup.

I knew it.

Something must have happened to him and Snotlout.

[both grunting]

[screaming]

Ow! Ow! If you break this stuff, it's really sharp.

Ow, ow, ow.

Then don't break it.

Little late for that.

But thank you.

[thudding]

[gasps]

Oh, no.

It's back.

It's gonna turn us into old dusty bones.

Would you stop whining and get ready to sh**t? [Snotlout gasps]

[thudding]

[yells]

- You.

- You! Put those things down.

Now! If we have any chance of getting out of this place, we all need to work together.

[grunts]

Yeah.

Together.

[gasps]

And I'll take that, thank you very much.

[screeching]

Hiccup! [grunting]

What is it, Toothless? [sighs]

I don't understand.

Where are they? [Fishlegs]

Astrid.

[gasps]

Woo-hoo! I'll take that.

Wow! What? It's mine.

Hiccup willed it to me.

He said if anything ever happened to him, the leg was to be bequeathed to one Tuffnut LaVerne Thorston.

[grunts]

Oh, you want this? You want it? Oh, I'll give it to you.

Come on.

Say it.

Say you want it.

Say it.

Or should I say it? Tears! - Tears, tears, tears, - Ah.

No, no, no! [sobbing]

What's wrong with you? It's not his fault Hiccup's gone.

Why do you have to be so mean? Look at him! He's just a baby.

[whimpering]

[sighs]

I'm sorry, Tuff.

I-I don't know what came over me.

I think I'm just You leave him be.

Hey.

What do you say we look at our new map? Would that make you feel better? Wait.

What map? You bought that? It's not like we had a choice.

It's got two words we love beyond Well, words.

"Treasure" and uh, you know [screeches]

[gasps]

Astrid, I-I hate to admit it, but these rocks look a lot like Don't say it.

[mouthing]

[sobbing]

Oh, come on! I didn't even say it.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

Might as well give this thing a sh*t.

[sighs]

Nothing but dead ends.

I don't think we're getting outta here anytime soon.

Great.

I'm finally rich, and I don't even get to enjoy my vast fortune.

Thanks to Amos the Lamest over here.

If you hadn't chased me, we wouldn't be down here in the first place.

What? If you hadn't stolen from me, we wouldn't chase you.

Well, I guess we can call it even.

No, we can't.

That's not even kind of even.

[gasps]

Guys, guys.

You might wanna save this discussion for later.

[growling]

Okay, nobody Amos, no! [roars]

[screaming]

[gasps, screams]

[sighs]

It thinks you're trying to steal its treasure.

Don't move.

[roars]

Okay, now move! [screaming]

[Hiccup]

Run! Oh.

[Hiccup]

Take cover! [clamoring]

[screaming, grunts]

Huh? [roars in pain]

[gasps]

- Did you guys see that? - It's the light.

It can't be in direct sunlight.

[Amos]

Maybe that's why he patched the holes in the roof.

[Hiccup]

Maybe.

No "Thank you.

Nice going, Snotlout"? Nothing? Oh, shut up, Snotlout.

[grunts]

[grunts]

All right, look, Astrid.

- We'll give up the - The what? You know.

The [stammering]

Those, we can live without.

The treasure? That's gotta be ours.

We earned that treasure.

I earned that treasure.

If this works, you can have all the treasure you want.

But if it doesn't, you know what's coming.

Uh, what do you say we stray from going down that dark road again, Astrid? Yeah.

I'm not sure I have any Well, you know, left to cry.

Hmm.

Do you see that? Hiccup.

[grunting]

[grunts]

Astrid! [dragon screeching]

- We're gonna die.

- Shh.

Do you hear that? It came from outside.

Come on, boy.

If this map is real, we need to get there soon.

Lift me up.

If someone's out there, we need to make sure they can see us.

[grunts]

Is he in there? Is anyone out there? - No.

- No.

[Astrid]

Looks like we're not the only ones who got fooled by this map.

Looks like we're on our own.

[Snotlout gasping]

[screams]

Aw.

[grunts]

You know, staring at that thing isn't gonna help us get outta here.

Hey, you have a better idea for whenever that sand-busting thing comes back? Sandbuster.

That's a good name.

I was trying to help.

You couldn't have gotten sucked down with your dragons, could ya'? Could've flown right out of here.

- But no! - Why do you even talk? It's how I voice my displeasure.

And I'm gonna die with freedom just beyond that hole.

The hole.

Yes.

That's our way out.

[laughs]

Oh.

How do you plan on getting to it? Yeah, I mean, the idiot does have a point.

We can't even reach it.

Then we'll bring it to us.

You two start stacking this junk.

Build a tower, as high as it'll go.

It'll never reach, it'll never hold.

Oh, just do it.

And what are you gonna do? Build a cage, to trap the Sandbuster when he comes back.

I don't know.

Just do what he says.

He's always right, so there's no point.

[Hiccup]

What was that? You're like a ray of light.

Lighting my way.

Super-shiny.

Never mind.

[Hiccup]

Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

He's out there.

Somewhere.

And we're gonna find him.

Meatlug and I won't stop looking until we do.

Right? [grunting]

Bro, it's like tear.

It's spelled the same way.

"Tear," "tear," no? Okay.

All right.

Calm down.

Wait a minute.

- Tear open a bag of - What do you see here? A reason to throw the twins into our volcano? No.

Look.

This helmet looks just like that mountain peak there.

Astrid, I know you want this to And these axes here? They line up, too.

These are all landmarks.

All around us.

When you line up the map, look what happens.

Come on.

We're going to get Hiccup.

You don't really think this thing's gonna hold? As long as we get Hiccup to climb it.

It'll hold his scrawny butt.

[grunting]

I thought you were building a cage.

Yes, Snotlout.

I did.

Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but don't cages have, I don't know, locks, bars, walls? Trust me.

This is going to work.

Let's get up that tower.

Make sure it was sturdy? - Snotlout said - It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

[chuckling]

[thudding]

[roaring]

[Snotlout screaming]

Sandbuster, Sandbuster! - No, don't! - Hiccup! [exclaiming]

[roars]

Ha-ha.

[roars in anger]

Ha-ha! See? Cage.

You wasn't lying.

He is always right.

- Shut up, Amos.

- Now, for our exit.

Oh, no.

No! [all screaming]

[clinking]

[grunting]

Hey, don't you touch that.

It is a gift.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure he cares about that.

[roars]

Snotlout! Gotcha! Ha! Hiccup! [screaming in panic]

[grunting]

Hiccup, what are you [grunts]

Yes! [winces in pain]

doing? Nice job! [Hiccup]

You guys run.

I'll keep it busy.

- Right.

Sounds good to me.

- Stand down, Amos the Lamest.

We're not going anywhere without that guy.

Got it? Then we're all gonna die where we stand! [loud screeching]

[dragons screeching]

[Fishlegs]

Gotcha! [screeches]

You were saying? Woo-hoo! - [Snotlout]

Hookfang.

- [Amos screaming]

No, no, no! I must say, Master Hiccup, you and your team always seem to right the wrongs in this mad, mad world.

With the vicious Sandbuster beach closed to incoming traffic, the flow of commerce can, once again, commence.

And, speaking of commerce, Master Snotlout, I've been admiring your bejeweled w*apon.

Simply dazzling.

Save it, Johann.

It's not for sale.

Just start with the "T.

" A little t Just a little Oh.

Okay, okay.

And with that, I bid you adieu.

Astrid Um, I need to check on Stormfly.

No, no, you don't.

I don't? No.

You need to stand right here and take this in.

This was my father's betrothal gift to my mother.

[gasps]

Um And he gave it to me, to give to you.

Astrid, you're a part of our family.

You always have been and I hope you always will be.

[sighs]

[stammers]

Okay.

If you don't like it Hiccup, I It's beautiful.

It's perfect.

It's just I didn't get you a gift.

I don't know what to get, or But you did.

Astrid, you got me the greatest gift in the world.

You.

You, just being here with me.

It's the only gift I need.

En garde! [laughs]

[exclaims]

Hey, watch it! [screams]

- Wait a minute.

- What is it? I thought I recognized that sword.

- That's not just any old sword.

That's - Viggo's.

But if his sword is here Who brought it here?