04x08 - The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean

[bunniefuu]

[Chris] Last time on Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island:

the players went on an impromptu
environmental cover up...

er, "clean-up" challenge

and tried NOT to get a toxic
makeover like Dakota.

Mike introduced us
to Manitoba Smith,

his most rugged and
arrogant persona yet.

Freak Zekiel had slightly more luck

with the ladies than human Zekiel

and Brick overcame
his fear of the dark,

to heroically save his former team,

which made his current team
give him the ol' heave-hurl.

Makes you wanna reflect, don't it?

Maybe with a cup of
Chris McLean instant coffee.

Bluh! Bitter! Better!

Better than the rest.

Who will survive?
Who will wish they didn't?

Find out right now on Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme music]

♪ Tell mom and dad
I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me
what I wanted to be ♪

♪ Now I think the answer
is plain to see... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live
close to the sun ♪

♪ Oh, pack your bags
coz I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove,
nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ Coz I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Nananana nana nana na... ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[whistling]

[snoring]

[bell rings]

What? Where are we?

No! Chris must have set us adrift
after we went to sleep!

Yeah. Wait, I don't remember
anything after dinner.

Dinner! That's it!

Eww! What is this?

Turkey buttollini. Enjoy your nap...
Er, meal. [laughs]

Turkey makes you sleepy,

so mutant turkey must
have knocked us out cold. Genius!

Lightning wins the Super Bowl!

[snoring]

Yaaa!

Wakey-wakey, muscle mouth.

What? Where did the cabin go?

Great, now we're gonna be
some stupid shark's dinner.

Ah, don't worry, he'll never find us
in the middle of all this junk.

Hey!

Sweet hat. Uuuh!

Oh-wee! G'day, Sheila.

Aren't you the ridgie didge?

-[laughs]
-Agh!

Deep breath, Mike.

Thanks, buddy.

[coughs] Hey!

Sorry, I, uh... I tripped.

Mike and I have a deal.

I help him stay Mike
so he can win Zoey over

and he helps me to
convince her to turf Scott.

I've already decoded
Mike's personality triggers.

Whenever he loses his shirt,
Vito comes out.

[Mike as Vito] Putcha hands up!
Putcha hands up!

[Cameron] In an acrobatically challenging
environment, he becomes Svetlana.

When he gets frustrated,
Chester appears.

[as Chester] Dang fool kids,
leaving rocks every-which-wheres!

Uuh! Dagnamit!

And we just saw
Manitoba Smith in his fedora.

But I still don't know how to
consistently bring Mike back.

This would be so much easier
if I could just dissect his brain.

Y'know, out of all your characters,
I like you being Mike the best.

-What?! You do?
-Sure.

But you make it so hard
to get to know you.

The way you're always playing characters,
it feels like you're hiding from me.

We're not... I mean, I'm not. Heh.

You got any sunblock?

This is SO not how I wanted
to get back on the show.

Now that my looks are on hold,
I need an ally.

If only Sam were here.
He was so dedicated.

[sighs] Zoey's the only person I'd be
seen with in public, post-makeover,

so I guess it's time to start
the "friend-ing" process?

Is that what it's called?

-[horn beeps]
-Mornin', suckers!

How'd you enjoy your
turkey buttolini?

Hey, Chris, how many times
did you call your mommy today?

I had no idea that Tabasco was
used as a thumb-sucking deterrent

until I started interning
for Sippy Cup McLean...

Uhh...

[Dakota] What?!
What are you all staring at?

Uh... your hair is
already growing back.

Really? Yay!

Um, when did you all get shorter?

Remarkable!

All the toxic waste in the mine has
caused some kind of evolving mutation.

Hello cover story for
Bubble Theory Magazine!

First things first,
if any of you are still trying to find

that McLean brand invincibility sculpture
I hid at the beginning of the season,

you can stop now.
Somebody's already found it.

And speaking of
digging things up...

today's challenge is all about
winning the ultimate reward.

Life itself!

Your first challenge is to race to
the shore, by any means possible.

First team there
wins a handy reward.

Last team gets a heinous penalty

before you embark on
a quest for buried treasure.

You're using us to dig up
treasure now?! Weak.

There was treasure here once,
but I found it years ago.

How do you think
I bought the island?

Must have been
a pretty small treasure!

-Right, Budster?
-Ow!

Hey, Dakota, catch!

What's this?

Oooh, a picture
of a scary monster. Big deal.

Dude, that's a mirror.

[screams] I'm a monster!

When I get my hands on you,
I'll tear you apart!

Game on!

Okay, protein
powder-puff, get rowing.

Who made you the boss?!

Eh, if you don't want to be
the captain of our rowing team...

Lightning is captain on every team!
Let's do this.

We gotta do what
the Rats are doing.

Hurry up!

I wanna get to shore
and smash Chris!

[panting]

Wow, sorry.

This whole mutant thing is
totally stressing me out.

Hold me.

It s really nice that Dakota
wants me to help her.

I just hope she doesn't crush me
to death in the process.

We gotta get some distance
from that freakshow. C'mon, stroke!

Stroke! Stroke!

Aww, man. We're toast.

Dakota didn't mean to strand us.
Aww, there, there.

You're a good friend,

even if your hair is all wrong.

If we wanna catch up, we'll
have to get in the water and kick.

No way! Remember the shark? Agh!

Hey!

The faster we get to shore,
the faster you're out of the water.

Fine! You too, ladies.

Dakota needs a little more time.
Okay, blow.

-[blows]
-Ha!

Double-time, dude, they're gaining!

[growls]

[screams]

[Chris laughs]

Aw! It's playing with them.

I won't be some calamari's dinner!

[grunting]

You're hitting the Lightning!
Bro! Stop!

Giant squid dead ahead!

Shh! Keep quiet!

Maybe we can sneak by it.

-[roars]
-[screams]

Shark! Shark! Shark, shark!

Oh, for the love of...

[as Chester] Dagnamit!
That punk's gonna get us k*lled!

[screams]

Go away!
You big bully!

Let's go! Kick, meatlocker! Kick!

Dakota! That was amazing!
You saved us!

I guess I did. You're welcome friend
who owes Dakota big time.

-Yeah. [nervous laugh]
-[as Chester] Aww, ain't this sweet.

But what are we
gonna do about that?!

Aww, man, we'll
never make it to shore.

Wait, that's it!

Get as far back as you can.

Hey, jelly brains, I bet you
couldn't smash me if you tried!

-Cam, no!
-It's going to k*ll us!

[screaming]

Will Cameron's brain
outsmart the squid's brawn?

And what's up with Dakota?

Find out after the break.

[creature growls]

[screams]

[Zoey] Hey, we're in first place!

-Yay!
-Ooh!

How am I supposed to vote off
my team-mates if we never lose?!

Where's CHRIS!?

Get down here, you!

[roars]

Calm down, uh, BFF.
v*olence won't solve this.

Besides, we won!

And because you won,
you get these!

A map and compass. Sweet!

Well, look what just washed up.

I told you to kick harder!

And I told you
you're not the boss of me!

[Chris] Put a sport sock in it!

Now the second part
of today's challenge

started off as
a practical joke

involving classic Total
Drama competitor Gwen,

but it's turned into more
of a rescue mission!

[thump on wood]
What the?

Oh, no! I'm buried alive?

Again?!

CHRIS!!!!

Burying someone alive
is seriously dangerous,

even by your standards.

That's why we're
using the buddy system.

And instead of letting last
year's losers have all the fun,

we brought in one
of THIS year's duds!

CHRIS!!!!

SAM!

Sam is back!

Does he still have
crush on Dakota?

The guy ate a whole pot
of Chef's buttolini

so he didn't put up
much of a fight.

[growls]

[roars]

Sam!!!

We're gonna need some
elephant tranquillizers.

Maggots! You've got your compass
and your map to the general vicinity

of the chest at the northern tip
of the island. Now go!

Ah, tut-tut-tut. Not so fast.

To the losers
go the penalty belts.

Chef, lock 'em in!

These must weigh
a hundred pounds!

A hundred and twenty
to be precise.

A metal detector? How is that going
to help us find a wooden chest?

It's not. Now GO!

Go-go-go-go-go-go!

-[wood being hit]
-Ugh!

Where's my... Ugh!
Lousy Chris and his stupid game

on his crummy show.

Hello?

You've gone too far this time,
McLean. You can't--

-[Sam farts]
-Ewww!!!

That wasn't me.
This guy won't stop farting.

I can't breathe.

Eh, I'm sure she's fine.

It reeks!

Ahhh, smells like home.

There's a path
around the swamp,

but it'll take too long.

Jo and Lightning
don't know that.

But I'll make sure they do.
[chuckles evilly]

-C'mon, buh-fuh-fuh.
-Buh-fuh-fuh?

Short for BFF.

Oh, man, Sam's probably
suffocating by now.

Sam! I save you!

Thanks, Scott.

No problem.
Zoey, if I tell you something,

do you promise
to keep it a secret?

Of course. What is it?

Ah, the invincibility statue!

I still can't
believe I found it.

I-I'm honoured you trust me
enough to tell me.

I hope you feel
the same way about me.

At least you know I'm not
hiding anything, unlike Mike...

I know. He's so secretive and now
Cameron's acting all weird too...

Guess I'm the only
person you can trust.

Oh, man! That smell is rank!

Look, an arrow pointing into the swamp!
This must be the way!

Dude! No way am I going
into that stink!

I tell you what. Whoever finds
the treasure gets the official rank

of team captain.

Now that's a rank
I can live with!

[mosquito buzzes]

Honestly, Zoey, there's
something about Scott I don't trust.

He'd sell his own
mother to get ahead.

I happen to know he has a heart, okay?
Don't be so quick to--

[growling]

-[roars]
-[screams]

[Cameron] We can hide in that tree.

I don't know what's worse -
the giant mutants or the fact

that Zoey trusts Scott more than me.

[Zoey gasps]

-Hurry! It's coming!
-I'm trying!

[as Svetlana] Und failing!

Leave this to Svetlana! Haa!

Perfect form!

[screams] Mike, help!

[as Mike] Zoey!
Here take my hand!

Of course!

Whenever Zoey's in danger,
Mike returns.

Not that I would ever put her in peril
just to make that happen.

Except maybe as a last resort.

Reach! Yes!

[roars]

[screaming]

Dakota!

Buh-Fuh-Fuh forever!

Yahh!

I'm gonna turn you into purse!

C'mon, Gwen and Sam
don't have much air left!

What about Dakota?
Shouldn't we help her?

I think we'd just
be in the way.

Why you hit yourself?

Why you hit yourself? [laughs]

The map! It's ruined!

-Is the compass okay?
-It's gone!

Ohh...

Way to go!
Now we'll never find them.

Gotcha! [laughs]

Now to find out the deal
with Mike and bubble boy.

Zoey's right, those
two are hiding something.

Man! Freak Dakota's
owning that gator!

Not that I couldn't
do the same.

Oh really?
Well, here's your chance.

Uhh... sha-friends?

[screams]

Thanks for losing
the compass, Mike.

Now we're guaranteed
to come in last.

Not necessarily. Moss grows
on the northern side of trees

and Chris said our goal is to the north,
so we need to go that way.

[Zoey] Ugh, a thorn-bush forest!

No way can we go in there.

[Dakota roars]

-Yeah!
-Fantastic.

Look, this clearing!

It's just like the one
on the map, c'mon!

[as Vito] Anne Maria,
where you at, baby?

-Is that Vito?
-Uh?

Oh, Mike, I know you want
to practise your impressions.

But now's not the time.

Actors... heh heh.

It's too much, Mike. I can't keep this up.
You have to tell Zoey the truth.

I will. I swear.

Please, just give me
a little more time. Say, ten years?

Over here!
I think I hear them!

Really?

Would I lie to you?

Maybe I shouldn't have
left jockstrap behind.

How am I gonna find
that chest now? Told ya!

Those things totally gave up
after I lost most of my blood. MVP!

[metal detector beeps]

Two keys?

The small one must
be for the cuffs!

This one's old...
like treasure chest-old.

[thumping on wood]

[Gwen] Somebody let
me out of here!

Winner's circle, here I come!

Hurry, Jo and
Lightning are here!

How deep did
Chris bury them?!

[thumping on wood]

[Gwen] Help!

Get me out of here!

And the Rats WIN for a change!

What? Thought you
heard them right here, huh?

Sam?!

-I save you!
-[Gwen screams ]

Sam!!

Dakota hug!

Dakota?

Whoa, the girl of my dreams just got
a thousand times more awesome!

[Sam and Dakota giggling]

We have to get rid of
the biggest thr*at to our team.

So Cameron and I
are voting for Scott. You?

I haven't decided yet.

Well... I know you'll
make the right choice.

Mike says he's real grateful for
helping him with his "problem".

Problem?

He told you about his
multiple personality disorder?!

Nope, but you just did.
[chuckles evilly]

Sam still like Dakota?

I've always liked you,
man hands or no man hands.

You were cute before, but now you're
like the hottest warrior in Mutazoid .

You're the Dakotazoid!

[giggles]

[all] EWWWWW!

Okay, players,
the votes are tallied.

And by a narrow margin,

tonight's loser
is none other than...

Wait! What about the marshmallows
for the people that are staying?

No can do, someone ate all of them
when she was in the infirmary.

[laughs] Me got munchies.

As I was saying, the person
going home tonight is...

Scott!

Sorry, but I ain't
going nowhere.

-What?!
-[Chris] The invincibility statue.

Nice! That means Scott is safe.

Whoever has the next most votes

is takin' a ride
on the Hurl of Shame.

And tonight, thanks to Zoey...

the Dakotazoid is goin' home!

For good this time!

Her friendship was
hazardous to my health!

I had to vote her off.

Ready to fly, Dakota?

Hellooo?

[Dakota and Chris scream]

Nice! Two for the price of one!

Come back for even more painful
awesomeness, next time on Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island.

[theme music]