04x10 - Up, Up & Away in My Pitiful Balloon

[bunniefuu]

[Chris] Last time on Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island,

The players went on a smash
'n' grab graffiti race.

Lightning and Jo's team fell apart

after she used him as shark bait.

Scott blackmailed Mike
by threatening to tell Zoey

about his multiple personalities.

Finally, Mike fought back,

gave his personalities the b*at down
and got voted off the island.

Too bad, so sad.

Missed a spot.

We're down to our
final four competitors.

And you'll never guess who's
next to ride the Hurl of Shame.

[screaming]

[chuckling]
Told ya.

What? Catapults are expensive.

I need to get
my money's worth!

But someone else will be
flung before the day is over.

Find out who, right here,
on Total Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme music]

♪ Tell mom and dad
I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me what
I wanted to be ♪

♪ Now I think the answer
is plain to see... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live
close to the sun ♪

♪ Oh, pack your bags
coz I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove,
nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ Coz I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Nananana nana nana na... ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[whistling]

[panting]

You win. Just eat me fast, okay?

-[something flies overhead]
-Huh?

[shark squeals]

Yeah! How's THAT taste! [laughs]

[all] Woah!

Ha! Look at you wusses.

It's just a stupid blimp.

OW!!!

Actually, I believe it's a Zeppelin, named
after Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin,

who--
[moans]

You're both wrong!

It's the McLean mobile
air command centre,

where I will recline in luxury while
you compete in today's challenge:

an aerial obstacle course!

Lightning!
Taking to the skies!

Sha-bam!

Uh-huh. And here to demonstrate...

put your hands together
for Total Drama classic contender...

Heather!

No way!

Oooohh....

Wow! You're THE Heather?

Sorry, I have this policy
of not talking to losers.

Oh, I'm not a loser... you know,
unless everyone else thinks I am.

Heather will now demonstrate
the aerial challenge

while wearing a jet pack.

[screams]

Aagh! Whoa!

Eee! Ahhhh!

Everyone, just be cool.

There's a parachute built into it.

Uggghhhh.

[chuckles]
Best challenge EVER!

This challenge
seems kinda unsafe.

No, it's TOTALLY unsafe.

Did I mention you'll also be att*cked
by flying mutant fire-breathing goats?

What?!

That's it. I'm out!

Okay... but before you go...

you should say
goodbye to THIS!

The ultimate Total Drama prize!

One million dollars!
Give or take.

[dreamily] Money... removing
all common sense and fear of danger.

-Too bad you'll never win it!
-Just watch me!

If that's okay with you.

Scott really brings
out the jerk in me

which is kind of liberating.

Besides, he voted Mike off.
He needs to pay!

Now, to perform
your aerial feats,

you'll first have to construct

your very own flying machines.

Don't worry, bubble boy.

It may be every camper
for him or herself,

but I have got your back.

Alliance. You and me. Agreed?

-Ummm...
-Good!

Now make my flying machine for me
and make it faster and better than yours.

I am a -pound weakling.

Okay, and a half.

With all the Scotts and
Lightnings out there,

sometimes I need to stay
as invisible as possible...

so I'll hide behind Jo.

Then when it comes time
to vote people off,

everyone will target the serious
competition, like Scott

or Lightning, or...
[chuckling] Jo.

Cam's a good kid.

I'll carry him a few rounds
and then I'll dump him.

But first, Jock-strap's getting
a ticket to the Hurl of Shame.

He's got this
"silly grudge" against me.

Yeah! Because that Jo guy kicked me
right into that shark's mouth!

It was tenderizing me like
a T-bone! Jo's gonna pay!

Mm? Man, I could really go
for a T-bone right now.

-Anyway, I'm...
-Gonna whup...

-Everybody else and...
-Take home that million...

-Dollars for myself!
-Sha-licious!

[Chris] Welcome to your one-stop shop
for flying machine parts,

the dump!

Revolting AND reasonably priced.

Each player will pick a card
representing their mode of flight.

Pick 'em like
your nose, losers!

Euugghh!

A hot air balloon?

Ugh, could you get more
frou-frou la-dee-da?

A helicopter?! Sweet!

Didn't think I'd get one
till I hit the Majors.

A plane. Cool!

And also... totally
impossible to build.

A rocket?! Hurray!

My rocketeering knowledge
is both sophisticated and formidable!

Huh? A bird?!

How am I supposed
to build a bird?!

I want a new card!

[screams in pain]

A bird - yep, that works.

The first camper to show me
their finished flying machine

wins an advantage:
a McLean brand smoke machine!

Use it as a smokescreen!

Smoke bees out of your attic!

Or just create
spooky ambience.

Check it.

[coughing]

Sweet, right?

First to finish their contraption
wins that smokey bad boy.

Okay, campers, prepare to get
your dump on... Now!

Nerdlinger! How do I make a balloon,
and what do I need to make it?

And by "I", I mean you.

Well, we'll need at least
square feet of silk,

a heat source that can generate
. cubic meters of hot air per second...

Boring! Just find the stuff
and build it, pencil neck.

Hey, how about helping me
out with my helicopter?

Hmm, any internal
combustion engine would do,

plus a fan with blades
at least inches in diam-- Aah!

Shut your talk-hole!
Get your own nerd, musclehead!

How to build a bird? Hmm?

Hmm, birds have feathers... [chuckles]

[birds screech]

Paydirt!

-[birds screech]
-Aagh!

I have to build a plane?

Come on! That's impossible.

I mean, where am I supposed
to find a cockpit?

-[triumphant music]
-Okay, fine.

but where am I
supposed to find wings?

-[triumphant music]
-Well, sure, those are awesome, but...

but where am I supposed to find
a propeller? I'll never find a-- Ugh!

[triumphant music]

Alright already!
I'll make the darn plane!

Gotta find a really big fan...

Parachute?

Heat source?
Hey, that's what Jo needs!

Hey, Jo! Good luck findin' your
stuff behind this motorcycle

and huge fan that would make
a totally banging helicopter!

[chuckles]
Aw, yeah...

Who's the smart guy now?

Wait a minute...

[liquid pouring]

[metal clanging]

[engine starts]

Sweet!

[coughs]

[grunting]

Oh, yeah! I'm making myself
a hover copter.

Sha-Zoom!

Wow! Good work,
wonder nerd!

Thanks! Well, better find
the parts to make my rocket.

Or, you can be a
REAL competitor

and sabotage the others.

-That's not very sportsperson-like.
-Listen, turbo dork.

Winning is all that matters, and you
can't win unless everybody else loses.

Right? So go over there
and accidentally tip

a mountain of crud
onto captain muscle!

[grunting]

AAAHH!

Oowww....

[gasps]
A engine?!

Eureka squared!

Ooh! And all the major
components are intact!

I feel some inspiration coming on!

For crying out loud!

How long does it take to
bury someone in junk!

There, that should do it!

What the...? What do you
think you're doing?

[engine starts]

[screaming]

Whoaaa!

[loud crash]

[groaning]

We have a winner!

Cam finishes first
and gets a smoke machine!

-Oh!
-What?!

Who will fly high?
Who will crash and burn?

Literally!

And how many Gemmies
will I win for this episode!

Find out when we
return on Total...Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

Nice work, Cameron.
I've taught you well.

Now, better let me
hold onto that.

Gotta keep it safe or someone
might try to scam it from you.

No, I don't think Jo is
pushing me around at all.

I'd be nowhere without her.

I owe all my success to her

and I'll ride my way to
victory with her assured advice.

[Chris over PA]
Players, prepare to be challenged!

In the Obstacle Course of Doom!!!

[laughing]

I'm gonna ace this puppy.

Hope you can flap your
wings as fast as your jaw.

Just watch.

It'll be flying high while you take
a "swan dive" into the lake!

[laughing]

Hey! Watch the feathers!

WHOOOAAA!!!

Man... they real hate
each other now, huh!

I feel another
Gemmie coming on! Agh!

Waaaaahhh!!!

Ooohhh!!!

One Gemmie for you...
and one million for me!

[moaning]
I think I sprained my stubble!

Um, Chris, Heather's stealing
your mobile air command centre.

Whatever... got it at
the Air Force garage sale.

And my million dollars!

Whatever...
not my million bucks.

And all your
Gemmie awards.

My Gemmies?!

Cancel the Obstacle
Course of Doom!

Your new challenge is...

to stop that Zeppelin!

Don't try to stop me!

I've got gold statuettes and
I am NOT afraid to use them! [grunting]

[panting]
I've got you, my precious-es!

Heather's conniving...
mean... deceitful.

My kinda competitor.

Except for those girly
short-shorts.

Ugh!

Get your flying machines airborne
and sh**t down that Zeppelin!

Aim for the engines.
Here's your a*mo.

Flying mutant fire-breathing
mountain goat eggs.

Goats are mammals.
They don't lay eggs.

They also don't breathe fire.
Unless they live here!

[chuckles]
Thank you toxic waste.

Who ever takes down
Heather gets immunity!

Oh, and look out for the flying
mutant fire-breathing mountain goats.

They are super-ticked for some reason.

[whistling]

[air horn]

-[goats bleating]
-[chuckling]

Zoey tried to vote me off?

Well, now it's her turn!

Ain't nothing gonna stop
the Scottmeister!

[screams]

Unhook my mooring line!
I'm going in!

Hey!

[laughing]
Sucks to be you!

[laughs]

Time for Lightning
to get some air!

[revs engine]

[engine roars]

Hey, Zoey! Thanks for the lift!

SCOTT!!!

Man, I'm good.

[screams]

Lightning goin' long!

[laughing]

Just a warm-up.
This time for real!

Hey! That's my million, mister!

[Cameron screams]

[Lightning screams]

Ah, the smell of victory!

Why does victory
smell like bad breath?

[goats bleating]

Hey!
Go burn someone else's balloon!

Like...like hers!

[goats bleating]

You want a piece of me?!
Huh?! You want a piece?!

Ow!

Cameron, cover me!

Aw, Christmas!

You're running defence for Jo?

He's playing you like a
dollar-store kazoo, man!

-Just like he did to me!
-[Jo laughs]

Eat smoke, bird-boy!

[coughing]

That smoke machine
should be yours!

Bubble Boy! Get over here and
take some more sh*ts to the head!

I've got a Zeppelin to crash!

Jo? Crash THIS.

Noooooo!

I've spent enough time
with Jo to know

she'll take everything she can.

So I planted a small expl*sive in
MY smoke machine just in case.

Whoa!

Oh, no! Nice goat!

Good mutant goat!

Easy, goat!

Good goat! Stop!

The Zeppelin's back there!
Please stop! Please???

[angrily] I said stop!

Hey! You actually listened to me?!

No way!

Yeah, eggs as weapons...
great choice, Chris!

-Hey, bird brain!
-Huh?

This is for Mike! Goats... FIRE!

[panting]

[screams]

[screams]

Lightning's got it locked!
Alright! Sha-bam!

[groaning]

Yes! That cool mil is mine!

Alright girl, hand it over!

[crying] Oh, I'm sorry!

All I wanted was the money.

But this has just
gone too far.

Here. Just take it.

Agh! What is wrong with you!?

You're crazy!

I was robbed!
I deserve that money!

You mean my money!

[grunting]

Heather! Heads up! Behind you!

Do you actually expect me to fall
for your pathetic little divers--

-Aaagh!
-[expl*si*n]

Woo-hoo! SCORE!

A million bucks.
Finders keepers!

Sha-WOW.

He's good.

[groaning with effort]

[screams]

Thanks, Zoey.

[panting]

-Enh, could be worse.
-Aaaagh!

[goats bleating]

[Chris] Elimination time!

Cameron, you took out
Heather so you're safe.

But the rest of you are
on the chopping block!

Regular marshmallow
means you're safe.

Toxic marshmallow of loserdom means
you're out and probably mutated.

Zoey...

You're safe.
Scott...also safe.

And with two votes against, the toxic
marshmallow of loserdom goes to...

Jo.

I deserved to win this!

You traitor!
You backstabber!

-Aah!
-I learned from the best.

You... You know, you're right.

Good technique, kid.
But you... you're an idiot!

-You couldn't even tell I was a girl!
-You're WHAT?!

Any final words to your
fellow competitors?

In your face, Lightningggg!

And then there were four!
Who will win the million?

Who'll get crushed
while millions watch and laugh?

Find out next time! On Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme song]