04x11 - Eat, Puke & Be Wary

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Total Drama". Aired: July 8, 2007 to present.*
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
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04x11 - Eat, Puke & Be Wary

Post by bunniefuu »

[Chris] Previously on Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island!

An epic air battle
turned into an epic fail

when Cameron crashed her ride
AND her chances of winning.

Zoey got shafted by Scott.

Scott got scared by shark.

And Jo got chucked by catapult.

We're down to the final four.

Who's going to the finals?

And who's gonna
be cut loose?

Yeah, like that!

Find out right now!

On Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme music]

♪ Tell mom and dad
I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me what
I wanted to be ♪

♪ Now I think the answer
is plain to see... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live
close to the sun ♪

♪ Oh, pack your bags
coz I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove,
nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ Coz I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Nananana nana nana na... ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[whistling]

[birds tweeting]

[giggling]

Oh!

Cameron, do we HAVE
to meet all way up here?

I'm sorry, Zoey, it's the
only place that's private.

Aside from the
innumerable cameras.

First order of business.
Get rid of Scott.

That jerk's kicked off
so many people.

Now it's HIS turn
to feel the pain!

Or is it?

I was out setting snares to
catch that annoying shark,

but I caught something better.

Two losers... Ow!

Maybe I can convince Lightning
to join us and vote off Scott.

Awesome!

Then it'll be three to one.
No chance of a tie...

Woooah!

Today's forecast: geeky showers
with a chance of nerd...

-[Zoey screams]
-And girl.

Scott?!

Zoey, nice of you to drop in.

I just had a k*ller idea.

Totally up your alley,
here goes.

You and me team up
and vote off Lightning!

[Zoey laughs]

Oh, you're serious. Ow!

I know we ain't best buds

but you're not
exactly a power house.

Do you really want to go head to
head with mister mega-jock?

Better a mega-jock
than a mega-JERK.

Oh, really...?

Sha-baaaaam!

Wow.

That sure helped
make my point.

Well, your call.

Ugh, I hate it when Scott makes a point.

That went well.

But when someone hates your guts
the way that Zoey hates mine,

it's always good
to have a Plan B.

Two points!
Aw, yeah!

[Cameron screaming]

Um, Lightning?

I have a most advantageous
offer to extend:

join forces with Zoey and I.

Together, we'll vote out
the dreaded Scott.

Aw, yeah!

Wha...really?

Okay, great!

We'll see you
at the challenge.

That was surprisingly painless.

Waaaaaah!

Alright, yeah!

Hey, got a proposal for ya.

A sweet alliance with
Baron von Scottmeister.

Yeah!

I always knew you
were my kinda guy.

So long, Zoey!

The guys kept yapping
in my ear,

but I shut 'em out,
cuz I was in the zone!

Hmm, wonder what they said.
Don't matter!

Lightning's going long.
All the way to the finals!

SHA-BAMM!

Challenge time!

And since you've been
abused so flagrantly,

today's challenge is a
super-safe fun challenge!

-Woo-hoo!
-Oh, yeah.

Get ready for bubbles,
flowers and cotton cand--

[Chris screams]

Eeeeeeeeeeeew!

My snar--
Uh, I mean, Cameron's snare

threw Chris into the outhouse!

Woooey!

I need five interns
and a fire hose, A-SAP!

-We'll get you outta there soon!
-[Chris coughs]

[Chris] Those ungrateful puppets
just crossed the line!

Remember your nasty
challenges, Chef?

The ones that got the red light?

Yeah... the light
just turned green.

I'll bring the pain.
[laughs evilly]

Okay, cool it.

Listen up, dirtbags!

I'm gonna push you
till you break.

Then I'll take the
filthy little broken bits

and give 'em another
good breakin'!

No wimps are gonna
make it to my finale.

Do you understand?!

First Challenge:
the Cook-Off!

A cook-off?

What's next...
a Lawn Bowl-Off? Ow!

Shut it or I'll shut it!

Bring in the
TD classic competitor.

Hey, it's DJ!

No, not here!

I vowed never to be back as long
as there was breath in my lungs!

Your contract
disagrees, doughboy!

You slimebuckets are gonna
cook something tasty,

and this bag o' mush
will be the judge!

You've got twenty minutes
to make a tasty lunch

with whatever you find
on the island.

I believe in eating locally.

Ready?!

Um, question! What are our
options in the way of seasonings?

Get cookin'!

Chef doesn't know
what he's talking about.

There's no food
in this forest!

Think Lightning, think!

What makes steak?!

Trees!

Come on, tree,
gimme some steak!

[Lighting screams]

A little short on supplies,
are we?

Very funny, Scott.
I don't need your help.

Oh, but I think you do. See,
I was talking to Zoey earlier

and she seemed a bit
worried about Lightning.

Really?

Yeah, you see how good
he is at this game.

He is pretty physically gifted.
Zoey has a good point.

-Here you go.
-Thanks, Scott!

No, thank you!
[laughing]

[growls]

[screams]

[Chris] Helloooooo!

Someone give me a hand,
I'm almost free!

Uh-oh! Oh, no!

-[splashing]
-Why!??

[Chris sobs]

Maybe I should make
something safe, like salad!

[hums]

[screams]

Aaagh!

[intern screams]

These toxic mushrooms will
make a delectable quiche.

Quiche, huh?
Two can play that game.

After all, it's like
my pappy always says,

"Fancy food
is for fancy jerks."

Ahh..

Protein, Sha-licious!

[giggles]

So, how are things
coming along here?

-Go away, Scott!
-Whaaat?

I didn't... Look!
A bunch of abandoned puppies!

-Huh?! Where?!
-My mistake, it was just a bunch of rocks.

Poison ivy... really adds
that extra tangy zip!

[bell rings]

Three, two, one...
Spatulas down!

Well? Dish it up, cupcakes!
MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

Today, I have made
a delicious quiche!

-Mmmmm.
-With toxic mushrooms!

Next!

I present... the living salad!

Hey!

I went with an Italian theme,
ginormous maggot cannelloni

in a cream sauce.

What did I tell you?! Stay down!
Uh... fresh pepper?

Next!

I've made Southern
quiche surprise!

If you manage to keep
it down, surprise!

[DJ screams]

Well, looks like we just lost
our taste tester. Rule change!

You gotta eat all of
your own weird grub.

-[all] Ugh!
-You hurl, you lose.

Who's got guts of steel and
who's gonna blast a barf b*mb?

It's a throw-up throw-down,
when we come back.

On Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island.

All right, com-PEST-ents.

It's time to eat the disgusting crud
you cooked up before the break.

Whoever finishes their
meal first, without spewing,

wins the challenge.

Man, this is going to be nasty!

[maggot screams]

[gags]

Nice quiche.

Great minds think alike, huh?

Hey look, it's a blogger
from bubbleboyonline.com!

-Really? Where?!
-Nah, it was just a tree stump.

Three...two...one.

-[horn blasts]
-EAT IT!

Gah! Throat! So itchy!

It had a sharp
froggy note... but how?

[vomits]

Sha...
[vomits]

[vomits]

I loves me some good ol'
fashioned mutant frog quiche!

Challenge is over!
Scott wins!

[moaning]

That's why HE doesn't have to
wear one of these tracking collars.

Challenge Part Two!
I give you...

Dorkhunter.

The challenge is simple.

You're the dorks,
I'm the hunter.


You run off into the woods.
I hunt you down.

First dork to
the flagpole wins.

Pray that you make it...

before the Dorkhunter blasts you
into a whole new dimension of pain!

Rocket-propelled spaghetti canon,
featuring my own special recipe.

Shove packets in your face,
extra-spicy spaghetti.

Dinner is served.

IN YOUR FACE!

Aww! Aww! It burns!

[Chef] Ah-ha-ha! Spicy!

You got twenty minutes to run,
hide and say your prayers!

Now move out!

[Chris] What's taking
those interns so long?

There's no way they could
have forgot about me!

I own them!!

More sewage?!

[screaming] HELP!!

[vomits]

Those mushrooms are
not sitting well.

Nobody tracks Lightning!
This collar's coming off!

Ahh!

AHHHH!!

GAAAHH!!

Lightning, stop!

The collar seems to have
an anti-removal feature,

which sends a strong electric current
to the central nervous system!

If you take it off, it goes zap-zap
and gives you an owwie.

Never mind.
If we could only short out the--

[screams]

You get this thing off me,
I'll get you to the finish!

It's a deal! I know...
I'll re-configure my watch

to send out a small
electromagnetic pulse,

re-route the battery
feed and...

-Voila!
-Nice!

Let's toss these.

[creature roars]

I've got a better idea.

Tracking collars?
Seriously?!

Between this and Mike
being voted off,

I've just about had it
with this show.

[yelps]

[laughing]

No, Chef!

I'm fragile!

I'm allergic to pain!

I WANNA LIVE!

[Chef laughs]

Hunt's over, Dorkette!

Okay, okay!
I give up! You win!

Lets make it official.

[screams]

Maybe I'll come back for her...
if I remember. [laughs]

[sobbing]

[thunder crashing]

Grrrrrrrr! Aaaah!

[thunder crashes]

It's payback time!

And I don't care if that's
okay with everyone!

[laughs evilly]

No tracking collar,
no Chef, no problem!

I'm gonna strut all
the way to the finish.

Who's there?

[bird cawing]

Hmmmm?

[Chef yelping]

Who ever did this
is gonna pay!

-As soon as I get down.
-[laughing]

This is too easy.

You dorks are mine.

[creature roars]

[screams]

Tracking collars! I've been duped!

Come on, man!
Put some stank on it!

Ugh... so queasy...
Can't go on...

Lightning... you must
take me to the finish.

Fulfill your promise!

Nah. Sorry, smart guy.

Lightning's only in this
for one person - Lightning!

Huh? Zoey?!

I thought I left her back at the cliff.

That girl is a glutton for...
[screams]

Yeah! Snack on that!

[laughs evilly]

I may have pushed her too far.

[whistles] Ha, the finish.

Now all's left to do
is touch the flagpole

and win this thing.

No! Not you!

Not now!

[screaming]

Oww! My ankle!

Leave me alone,
you freak!

Why do you keep
chasing me anyway?!

What?! For your tooth?!
You have hundreds!

Guess it's goodbye Scotty!

And hello victory! Yes!

One of my traps finally worked!
Wait.

I didn't dig a pit trap.

Get back here, girl!

OW!

Missed!

Wrong!

Wahhhhhhh!

Man, I must be
gaining muscle mass.

This running is making me
almost kinda winded!

Sha-bye-bye, suckers!

Yes! First to the finish!

Awww, yeah! Big winner!

I b*at Chef now,
I'm the b*mb y'all!

-OW!
-Huh?!

[Chef] Cameron wins immunity!

What!? Then what do I win?

Dinner.

[yelps in pain]
My head! My beautiful head!

Elimination time, Dorks!
One of you is going home tonight!

Except for Cameron,
who has immunity.

That was supposed to be
Lightning's immunity, smart guy!

What did I do? I mean, other than
accidentally steal victory from you.

-[growls]
-Zip it!

Now to the votes. Let's see...
we got one vote for Scott.

One for Zoey. One for Lightning.

And the final vote goes to...

Scott!

What?! You gotta be kidding me!

[screams in pain]

I can't believe it!
Zoey totally duped me!

Guess I musta rubbed off on her...
[chuckles]

Sorry, pal. Better luck next life.

Cameron stole my immunity
and for that he's gonna pay.

Watch your step, smart guy.
Lightning's coming for YOU.

I've been waiting to be
the Hurlmaster of this game.

And you're gonna keep waiting!

Chris!

Yep, I'm the Hurlmaster
around here!

You see, Scott, the Hurl of Shame
is both shameful AND painful.

So I arranged for a friend
to share your journey.

[Scott screams]

It's my way of saying thanks...

for flinging me into a pit of poo.

Whaaaa!

Chris, good to have you back, man.
I even saved you some quiche.

Chef, you are the MAN!

[vomits]

You ARE the Hurlmaster.

Who'll be hurled next?

How much are they gonna
hurl before we hurl them?

And when will I stop hurling?

[vomits]

Find out next time on Total...Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[vomits]

[theme music]
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