01x03 - Welcum to the Hellmouth

[bunniefuu]

[TRANQUIL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Nope. It's a lookalike.

[SIGHS] See, it's all about the nipple.

If you don't see a
nipple, don't touch it.

[CHUCKLES] Okay, now I'm getting hard.

Gross.

Isn't it a bit morbid...

picking shrooms off people's graves?

Bitch, aren't you about
to be in med school?

You better get used to
playing with corpses?

[GASPS] Oh, never mind.

See, that's different.

Those people donated
their bodies to science.

Okay, and these ones graciously chose

to fertilize the Earth

so that you and I could
come face-to-face with Buddha

- or gay Jesus or whatever.
- Come on.

Okay, um, so do we,
like, cook them, or...

Nope, we're just gonna chomp them down.

They are way more potent raw.

Oh, speaking of, did you
know that a baboon's colon

is five times bigger than a man's

because he only eats raw food?

That is not what I
thought you were gonna say.

I know... you could probably fit

a basketball player's whole
foot in there if you wanted to.

You know, I think I was more turned on

when we were talking about corpses.

[GASPS] Gay gasp.

Babe, jackpot.

[LAUGHS]

♪ We gonna get so
boomy, shroomy, woomy ♪

[FADING] ♪ We gonna get
so boomy, shroomy, woomy ♪

[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]

[LIGHT ORGAN MUSIC]

"Sweet Keaven in Heaven,

"Nine sweet angels in the sky.

"Too early for you to die.

I hope you're having fun
in your kingdom of the sun."

"Sweet Daddius, I'm the saddiest.

"Nine sweet angels in the
sky, too early for you to die.

I hope you're having fun
in your kingdom of the sun."

I got to get some air.

"Oh, Sheridan, I'll be
wondering where you been."

I can't wait for these
f*cking vigils to be over.

Are you crazy?

It's like our gay reparations.

We getting paid handsome

just to hug on some
strangers while they cry.

If I have to hear one more person

talk about how they
could have been there

and then take a selfie
just to get their money,

I don't know.

I just feel like we're
pimping out our trauma.

Don't worry... there'll be
another sh**ting soon enough,

and they'll forget about little old us.

But if seeing my pretty face
here opens their wallets,

so be it.

You know what? You're right.

- Let's get this money, baby.
- Hey, that's my girl.

So what you spending your check on?

Ugh. I don't know.

I'm currently staying
with my ex for free.

We're in this weird space where we're...

Damn, I did not ask for your life story.

You got to cut out with that drama.

Look, I'm bound to blow mine
on hookers and Xanny bars.

And you know what that's called?

Healing.

Marvin, you're an inspiration.

[UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Brodie...

it's : .

Yeah, but my forearm
muscles basically atrophied,

so this is kind of like
my physical therapy.

So jerk yourself off, then.

Come on. Play with me.

Oh, sh*t.

I feel like I've been hit by a bus

and dragged for three blocks.

Really? But you didn't drink last night.

Did you?

Why is Daddius under the bed?

Because it's creepy and
morbid to have him just out.

I'm glad we're scattering his ashes,

but I actually think
Daddius would have loved

to spend eternity watching
us breed each other.

You know he would.

You know, it's been shockingly nice

having you and your brother stay here...

but what's your plan, like, long-term?

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

Can we not with the parental role-play?

Look, I'm about to get a major payout

from the Survivors' Fund,
and then I will find a place,

pack my sh*t, and get out of your hair.

Hey, I didn't say I
wanted you out of my hair.

I just asked what your plan was.

Well...

my plan was to jerk you off,

but now I guess I'm gonna have
to go get these trauma dollars.

[SIGHS]

[BABIES CRYING]

♪ Rock-a-bye, babies, in the treetops ♪

♪ When you assholes eat,
my stress levels will drop ♪

Did you just say our
babies are assholes?

I didn't say it. I sang it.

And you have to admit...

a hunger strike is an
assh*le thing to do.

- [GROANS]
- [SIGHS]

Can we please just try baby formula?

Ruthie.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

[SCOFFS] My God, is
this lady stalking us?

I mean, which part of
"you are not their gam-gam"

does she not understand?

Oh, come on, Brenda's harmless.

Besides, my mom is a massive C,

and your parents are,
like, a thousand miles away.

It's not like we couldn't use the help.

- I don't know.
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]

Oh.

Ooh, not a chance.

[BABIES CONTINUE CRYING]

[SIGHS] Okay.

[SHUSHING]

Shut the f*ck up.

♪ My heart is speeding ♪

♪ And my body's syncing with the sound ♪

♪ My mind's an ocean ♪

♪ And I don't care
if I swim or drown ♪

♪ Done being lonely, we're
the only ones that matter now ♪

♪ But tonight we'll be
the perfect creatures ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The perfect creatures ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The perfect creatures ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I hate myself, who I love ♪

♪ So I'm in the closet ♪

♪ Designer clothes, Jordan lows ♪

♪ Roses in my pocket ♪

♪ Feeling blue, so confused,
don't know how to stop it ♪

♪ Such a mess, come in
dressed like I own the carpet ♪

♪ When all of the
world's so out of reach ♪

♪ I see a monster ♪

Find anything good?

Bookings have been pretty slow since...

- How you doing?
- [CHUCKLES]

Question on everyone's lips...

my teachers, my friends, my mom.

I hear you.

Here.

What is this?

Trash...

so, um, it should suit you.

[CHUCKLES] Bitch.

This all your drag sh*t?

Yeah, I don't need it anymore.

Sure you do.

My drag school starts next month.

Pull up.

Nah, it's gonna be a hard pass.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[SIGHS]

You're right... I haven't
been going to church,

and I probably should.

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

Yes, I'm sure Mom would be
disappointed, but I think...

Papi, I got to run. I'm sorry...

No, I'm not being smart.

- Love you.
- [LINE BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

Want to watch "Buffy" with me?

[SIGHS] I'm sorry. I-I got to work.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go watch a show

that turns any real-life problem

into a monster that can be defeated,

usually in, like, minutes.

Also, um...

the guys are hot, so...

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I do love hot guys.

Oh, my God, that's crazy. Me too.

Come on.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I mean, can you believe him?

Like, I'm sorry I don't
know what I should do

after almost being m*rder*d.

What the f*ck is that?

Do you want me to be honest
with my very bestest friend

or pretend you're someone else?

Oh, pretend I'm someone else.

Mm, sorry. Can't.

But you never wanted to be a doctor.

When you quit, you dodged a b*llet.

[CHUCKLES]

So what now? Good question.

f*ck you.

[SCATTERED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Hello, thrivers.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

weeks ago, I was
getting my damn life, sis.

I was out on the Babylon dance floor

being a happy little f*gg*t.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I can say it. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I can say it.

And then the sh**ting happened.

Do you think he realizes
he looks like a Proud Boy?

I think he was a Proud Boy

until he realized he could
get more attention this way.

Please, put your paws up
for Lani Simpson's parents,

Clara and Reed...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Sheridan Segal's sister, Charity...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

What is this?

The victims' families.

[JCJ CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY,
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

And the parents of Daddius Miller,

Phil and Kim.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

What the actual f*ck
are they doing here?

Be strong.

Slay, mamas... [CHUCKLES] And papas.

While all of us survivors struggle

every G-damn day since the sh**ting,

these families are still
really, really bummed,

and they will be pretty much forever.

Oh, sorry. Bringing the room down.

We're here to provide a light
at the end of the tunnel,

which is why we partnered
with LeBlanc Auto Sales

of New Orleans to provide
each of them a brand-new car.

Let's see it, hunty. [CHUCKLES]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING,
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪

Are you f*cking kidding me?

They refuse to claim his body
but show up for a free car?

Oh, sh*t, for real?

Oh, that's cold.

♪ Gossip, gossip ♪

♪ Ba-Ba-Babylon ♪

♪ Battle for your life, gossip, gossip ♪

♪ Ba-Ba-Babylon ♪

♪ Battle for your life, Babylon ♪

♪ Strut it out, walk a mile ♪

♪ Serve it, ancient-city style ♪

♪ Talk it out, babble on ♪

♪ Battle for your life, Babylon ♪

♪ That's gossip, what you on? ♪

♪ Money don't talk, rip that song ♪

♪ Gossip, babble on ♪

♪ Battle for your life, Babylon ♪

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- You okay?

You want to be honest or
pretend you're someone else?

Okay, two scenes ago,

she is in full-blown denial
about being the slayer,

and now she's all-in, full-on
hunting this vampire lady?

Give the binge the respect she deserves,

- and she will reward you.
- If you say so.

Oh, my f*cking God.
Where you been, bitch?

Damn, Bussey.

Mwah.

This is nice. Who
paying for all this sh*t?

Me, baby.

Also, what's wrong with him?

Girl...

A cameo from Mr. and Mrs. Miller.

Wait, Daddius' parents were there?

Mm-hmm.

JCJ gave them a free car for their loss.

Oh, f*ck that.

Sorry, what's the problem?

Free car equals good, right?

The problem is that
Daddius' sh*t-stained parents

disowned him when he came out.

Oh, no, wait, sorry, they first sent him

to an ultra-religious conversion camp,

and then they disowned him.

Wait, how'd you know Daddius
went to conversion therapy?

I don't know... he probably told us

when we were all hanging out.

Hmm, no place to hang out anymore.

God, these f*cking vigils
are k*lling q*eer nightlife.

I don't know. Make me want to drink.

Yeah, but in that depressing-ass,

Heath Ledger smelling the
shirt kind of way. Pass.

Every gay bar is either closed or empty.

When did the faggots get so soft?

Preach, baby.

I mean, hell, these bars
survived the damn AIDS crisis.

And we'll survive this, too.

f*ck the bars. Let's do this ourselves.

We'll throw a party better than Babylon.

Okay, Brodie Luther King.

Like, this is how we
should be honoring Daddius

and all the other victims,

not some shitty vigils
that cater to sad heteros.

It's a nice idea, Brodie,
but with what money?

- K from the Survivors' Fund.
- grand?

Damn, if I would have known
they were giving out that much,

- I would have signed up.
- I got Gs

'cause they thought this
chair was from the sh**ting.

[CHUCKLES] JCJ is such a dumb bitch.

[LAUGHS] I know.

I got a K bonus for getting sh*t.

Ruthie just said trans... $ , .

It feels like the trauma Olympics.

Well, if you got all that
money, I say go for it.

I love this for you.

Great...

because I know the perfect place

to host the party.

Where?

Oh. [LAUGHS] No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Brodie, absolutely not.

Come on.

You were telling me I
needed a plan this morning.

Noah, this is the plan.

Look, I love this energy, but
times have changed, Brodie.

[SIGHS] Come on.

Daddius would've k*lled
for one last party.

I guess you know what's
best for everyone, don't you?

What? He would have.

Noah.

So you'll think about it, babe?

- He's gonna think about it.
- [DOOR OPENS]

Spaghetti à la carbonara, piping hot,

just like the ancient
Romans used to microwave.

[CHUCKLES]

Hello?

Earth to Ming.

What?

Oh, um...

yeah, I'm not hungry.

Thank you.

- Hey.
- [SIGHS]

I know it's been a rough month,

but I have to go concerned
mom on you for a second.

Mom, can we please not?

I found your Survivors'
Fund letter in your trash.

Why didn't you want to sign up?

Why did you go through my trash?

Look...

I can't tell you how to process...

what happened.

But that money... it sure would
have been helpful around here.

- [SCOFFS]
- Or for your college...

for your drag.

f*ck all that.

I'm done with drag.

Donated all my sh*t.

Hey, you... you donated?

Forget it. I know what we need to do.

Yeah, I'm not going to the vigil.

Oh, this is better than
thoughts and prayers.

[DISTANT g*nshots]

See, it helps, right?

[g*n CLICKING]

Can we go now?

[DISTANT g*nshots]

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

♪ ♪

And the crazy thing is, I tried...

like, really tried to
not be gay for them.

You know, I cried

after watching gay p*rn for
the first time after that.

I'm so sorry, babe.

♪ Only love ♪

♪ Bring it back, bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

Wait.

Wait, was this song playing

during this entire
depressing conversation?

Oh, no, I put my sex playlist on...

I am getting emotional

to maybe the gayest piece
of music ever released.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Okay, I can turn it off.

No, I think we have to embrace it now.

We dance away the pain.

- [GRUNTS]
- Oh, oh.

♪ Loads, loads everywhere ♪

♪ Poppers, poppers, underwear ♪

♪ Loads, loads everywhere ♪

♪ Poppers, poppers, underwear ♪

- It's a f*cking bop.
- It is.

I'm sorry, that's a f*cking bop.

Watch out, girls. Here she comes.

[CRYING SOFTLY]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey.

You okay?

Can you do the thing, Brodie?

Here...

Close your eyes.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Oh.

Mm, this one's really stuck.

Must be a big one.

[GRUNTING]

♪ ♪

[EXHALES SOFTLY]

There...

no more bad thoughts.

♪ ♪

We can have the party here.

Really?

What made you change your mind?

♪ ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Where you off to, bitch?

First day back on the job
sculpting NOLA's young minds.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Also, honey, you do
not want to go in there.

Shar is on one,

and Mama B definitely
woke up and chose chaos.

Why do you think I'm here?

Shar's been blowing up
my phone since last night,

and I figured you'd be pissed
if I blocked them, so...

Oh, B-T-dubs,

I'm throwing a party
tonight at mine and Noah's.

- Oh.
- So you have to come.

Wow. Okay, "mine and Noah's."

Brodie, maybe this whole
Noah thing isn't a good idea?

I don't know. I'm optimistic.

You'll come to the party?

Look, I obviously want to go,
but Shar's is losing their mind

with this whole breastfeeding thing.

Oh, and to cap it off, the twins, like,

legit don't f*ck with me.

And, like, yeah, I know
they're young and whatever,

but the way they look at
me, it's giving spooky.

See...

these all sound like
reasons you should come.

- Whatever. We'll see.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

- Bye.
- Bye.

[BABIES CRYING DISTANTLY]

[SIGHS]

- [HUMMING]
- [DOOR CLOSES]

Am I too late? Did you k*ll her?

Brodie, I can't get rid of Brenda.

I've tried.

I have said truly awful things to her,

and I think she just
thinks they're funny.

And she keeps calling

and showing up with these
f*cking delicious casseroles.

- I can't do it.
- Yeah.

She's never met a boundary she
won't just utterly demolish.

Now we know where you get it.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Do something about her...

please.

Brenda, everything okay?

You.

You are on my sh*t list right now.

Were you ever gonna
tell me you had children?

Brenda, Flo and Jett
are not my children.

I went into a sad, sterile little room

filled with crusty, -year-old
hetero p*rn magazines

and rubbed my half chub
until I splooged into a cup.

Oh, please don't say "splooge."

"Came" or... or, hell,
even "sh*t my load,"

but not "splooge."

I'm just saying... I did
a nice thing for my friends

out of the kindness of
my heart... that's it.

[SIGHS] Honey, I'm gonna
break this down for you.

Mama needs some joy right now.

I am premenopausal,

I am married to your father,
which, well, enough said,

and my favorite barista
has turned against me

for reasons that I am
still trying to figure out.

Why are you hiding these
beautiful babies from me

and poisoning pure, innocent
Julian against his mother?

[LAUGHS] Okay.

I am being vulnerable with you,

and you are laughing at me.

'Cause I didn't poison
Julian against you.

He wanted to move out.

And maybe I didn't tell
you about Flo and Jett

because they don't
need your special brand

of childhood trauma.

[CHUCKLES] Brodie...

You got to stop blaming other
people for your problems.

You screw up your life all on your own.

[SCOFFS]

Brodie.

Brodie, where are you going?

No, please wait. Take her!

[DOOR SLAMS]

Ha, ha, ha. Aha, ha.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

♪ ♪

Yo, hey, yo.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[GASPS] Angel's a vampire?

This is why you respect the binge.

Hugo Gyrl gave me a f*g
discount on some of their work

so I can redecorate.

How much redecorating
do you have in mind?

Brodie. Brodie.

BOTH: ♪ What it do? What it don't? ♪

♪ Came through in the clutch ♪

♪ Stomping like I'm up in Louboutins ♪

♪ Boys, they wanna paint me ♪

♪ Like I'm canvas to do sumi on ♪

♪ I hate bottled water, but,
whatever, I'm pouring Evian ♪

♪ Toss my gems up, raise
the bar, Yung Phenomenon ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

This is Ali.

I hired him to help us build the ramps.

This sh*t gonna be accessible.

♪ ♪

BOTH: ♪ What it is? What
is up? What is what? ♪

♪ What it do? What it don't? What? ♪

♪ I'm getting light in my loafers ♪

♪ And I stay getting
life till life's over ♪

♪ I'm butter like cocoa ♪

♪ L-O-L-O-L-O-L, I'm loco ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, my God.

It's perfect.

Yeah?

It's Daddius' last party.

It's got to be as epic as he was.

[OBJECT CLATTERS]

Hey, careful with that.

That sh*t is the best on the market...

The Screamer.

If you don't stop giving me lip,

I'll have you screaming
in this thing later.

- Oh. What, what?
- Ooh.

- [SCATTERED CHUCKLE]
- Y'all f*cking?

It's costing me most of my payout,

but I got the boyfriend experience.

[SQUEALS] [LAUGHTER]

[FIRECRACKERS POPPING]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

f*cking firecrackers.

- You all right, Marvin?
- Yeah.

[FIRECRACKERS POPPING]

[POPPING CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

- I'm sorry. We have to cancel.
- Bitch, we can't cancel.

Are you kidding me? This
is a death thr*at, okay?

You might not be
worried, but I live here.

This is exactly what they want.

Send us back into the corners
and take away our safe spaces.

What about this looks safe?

We supposed to live in fear forever?

I don't know, Buss.

I think I'm hate-crimed
out for the week.

Brodie, we can't go through with this.

[DISTANT SIREN WAILING]

Do you smell that?

Is that...

gunpowder?

Y'all don't smell that?

[HYPERVENTILATING] It's, like...

[HYPERVENTILATING] Everywhere.

[DISTANTLY] Brodie?

[NORMAL VOICE] Brodie?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[CAR HORN BLARING]

[BICYCLE BELL RINGING]

♪ ♪

[GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS]

♪ ♪

[DYNAMIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

f*ck, yeah.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Brodie, where were you?

We got to take control
of our lives again.

Those swamp-bred gator-f*ckers
didn't scare us off,

but they did give us our name.

♪ I'm doing me ♪

♪ 'Cause I am everything ♪

♪ I'm doing me ♪

♪ I am that energy ♪

♪ I am a dream ♪

♪ Got that goddess energy in me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Turning up the goddess way ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Daddius would've liked it.

Our patron saint.

♪ ♪

Let's go get "shwasted."

- What's up, b*tches?
- [CHEERS]

♪ ♪

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

New Orleans is back, baby.

Hey, come on in.

There's a second bar in the back.

Three exits are marked.

And if you need anything, I'm Brodie.

Thanks. I don't think we're gonna stay.

We just wanted to pop in.

Okay, pop in for as long as you need.

What's up, Brodie?

[GRIZ'S "MEDUSA" PLAYING]

Yeah! Whoo, get it, girl.

Okay.

Hey, look out, bitch.

[LAUGHS]

- Max would have loved this.
- Nice to see you.

- Girl, I needed this.
- Girl!

You better get over here. Mwah.

Um, uh, excuse me.

Yeah, bitch!

Hey. Hey.

I can't believe everyone's here.

I know, girl. This is amazing.

♪ Throw it back, throw it back classy ♪

♪ Zoom, zoom, zoom... ♪

Hey, baby. Tequila.

♪ Don't ask me ♪

[PERSON SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

♪ ♪

♪ Hot boy, hots boys nasty ♪

$ hard seltzer.

It's just what I needed to heal.

- I feel so much better.
- Mm.

See, I know you're being
sarcastic, but you're welcome.

I'm glad you're here.

♪ ♪

Hey!

♪ Smash your man, throw him back ♪

♪ Hey, yo, GRiZ, run that sh*t back ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Throw it back, throw it back, boom ♪

Wow. Brodie's party looks so fun.

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER ON PHONE]
- Get here, b*tches!

Not that I want to go.

We're living the real dream, babe.

They're all jealous of us.

- You're a dummy.
- Mm.

[DOOR OPENS, BOTH LAUGH]

- Yoo-hoo!
- [DOOR CLOSES]

Hello, my loves.

Oh, my Lord.

Brenda, it's damn near : .
This madness has got to stop.

Oh, I-I-I don't know, babe.
I mean, it's kind of kismet.

We were just talking
about how fun it would be

- to go to Brodie's party.
- Were we?

And then Brenda shows up
like some fairy gam-gam.

What are you talking about?

You texted me and asked if I
could come help with the kids

so you could go rage,

which, for the record, I love.

For real, Ruthie? So now
you trying to play me?

Oh, okay, it's not that deep, Shar.

Oh, I am doing this alone.

Yeah. Yeah, you are, by choice.

Our dynamic has always been
about you taking control.

And usually I love that about you.

Oh, especially that...
Brenda, close your ears...

that fisting thing you do.

Oh.

But I can't sit here,
not be allowed to help,

and then get in trouble for not helping.

So, for the next two hours,

you cannot listen to
Brenda instead of me.

I love you.

- Thanks, Mama B.
- Mm-hmm.

[SIGHS]

So...

what's this fisting thing you do?

- Mm-mm.
- Hmm?

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

Go, Brodie!

[ZEST MUSIC'S "AIN'T A FOOL" PLAYING]

♪ ♪

[LAUGHTER]

- Look what you did.
- It's good, right?

I don't love that my student's here,

but otherwise...

♪ ♪

Welcome to Ghost f*g, y'all.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

How does it feel being reunited

after three, long horny months?

- Feels good!
- [CHEERS]

I'm gonna keep this brief

'cause last thing anyone needs right now

is another sermon, you heard me?

- Amen!
- I don't know about y'all,

but I am tired of going
from vigil to vigil,

getting hugged by crusty-ass strangers,

praying for our saintly
friends up in Heaven.

I'm like, "Heaven?

We talking about the same faggots?"

'Cause we all know they
kiki-ing down in hell.

Why?

- 'Cause hell is hot...
- That's right!

- And so were they.
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

So tonight they toast is for us,

to give us a chance to remember
our friends, not as symbols,

but for the messy-ass
sluts we knew and loved.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE,
INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

- My sister, Kennedy.
- We love you, Kennedy!

On three different occasions,

stole my top-shelf wigs.

Human hair, m*therf*ckers. [SCOFFS]

There's a special place
in hell for that ho.

Who else?

[LAUGHTER]

You.

Uh, Keaven'd never admit
it, but I'm pretty sure

he never washed his sex
toys after he used them.

Ugh, tea.

- That's so Keaven.
- Who else?

At his birthday orgy,

Daddius spilled poppers all over my cat.

And instead of cleaning her,

he passed her around
for everyone to get high.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Yo, that's my girl!

Never wasteful.

The truth is, I'd be a messy bitch, too,

if I had parents who'd claim a free car

but not their own son.

[CROWD GROANS]

f*ck, uh...

Daddius may have been a piece of sh*t,

but he was our piece of sh*t.

To Daddius.

- ALL: To Daddius.
- [CHEERING]

All right, all right, y'all, who's next?

[BABY CRYING]

I mean, is Ruthie right?

Am I just a psychotic
control freak or...

Yes.

We've just been on
completely different pages

since Flo and Jett were born.

Maybe it's the sh**ting,

or maybe it's... maybe she's been off

since Brodie got his hooks in her again.

I don't know. I just... I
just want to get this right.

Oh, my God. Please just shut up.

Come with me.

- This way.
- Mm.

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ B-b-bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back, bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back, bring it back ♪

♪ Bring it back, bring it back ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Only love ♪

♪ Bring it back ♪

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

- What the f*ck are you doing?
- It's just ashes, dude.

Hey, babe. Babe. Babe.

Where have you been? Look at this place.

It's amazing. We did it.

What the f*ck is wrong with you, Brodie?

Wait, what?

I didn't even want to have this party,

but you manipulated me

using Daddius' death
to get what you want.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I
didn't manipulate anything.

Bullshit!

You say and you do whatever
you can to get what you want,

just like you weaseled
your way back into my house,

back into my life just
when I started to move on!

I thought we were... we were
finding something good, Noah.

I-I don't understand.

Because you're selfish, Brodie.

You never think about
anyone but yourself!

This... this... this whole
thing is not about Daddius.

It's not about the f*cking community.

It's about you!

You're a f*cking disaster,
and I'm done with this.

♪ ♪

Now you're leaving.

Of course!

[CROWD MURMURING]

Move!

♪ ♪

Who wants sh*ts?

[ALL CHEERING]

Then buy some, you cheap bastards.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHARLOTTE DAY WILSON'S "KEEP MOVING"]

♪ ♪

♪ The wind embraces you ♪

♪ In ways I wish I could ♪

♪ I wish that I could focus ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Just tryin' to navigate
your skin and bones ♪

♪ Tryin' to find my way, way back home ♪

♪ ♪

[HUMMING]

♪ ♪

What do you think you're doing?

You know, when my boys were babies,

formula had only been
regulated for a decade.

And guess what.

Julian and Brodie turned out gay...

I mean, fine.

Depends on your definition of "fine."

Is it so bad that I don't
want to f*ck up my kids?

Oh, Shar, sweetie, baby angel...

they're gonna be f*cked up.

I mean, being a parent
is f*cking up your kids

and just hoping it's the right amount

to give them interesting stories.

Ew, no.

Oh, wow, Shar, rejecting
your own breast milk...

[SIGHS] Self-loathing much?

Now, first we finish
our night-night juice.

And then we're each gonna take a twin,

and we're gonna give them
their night-night juice.

Mmm.

- Not bad, actually.
- I know, hmm?

You are not a failure, Shar.

You're a good...

zaddy.

[LAUGHING]

- Zaddy, zaddy.
- Okay.

[DISTANT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Come in.

♪ ♪

You okay?

[SIGHS]

Mostly embarrassed.

Feeling a little guilty.

Took all my sh*t out on
Brodie, and he can be fragile.

- I went in.
- He'll be fine.

I'm more worried about you.

[SIGHS]

I miss Daddius...

♪ ♪

Like, all the time.

Sometimes I miss him so much
that I feel like I'm choking.

It's f*cking turning me into...

[DISTANT CHATTER]

I'm scared.

Come here.

[SOBBING] I'm sorry.

♪ ♪

I'm... I'm so sorry.

It's okay. It's fine.

Um, I'm gonna...

- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
- Oh, f*ck.

Don't know what's going on with the ho.

She was supposed to perform
tonight, but I told her,

"Listen, If you can't get
your sh*t together, like"...

[RETCHING]

What the f*ck now?

[CHUCKLES]

Wait.

Those are my clothes.

Mine now, ho.

I mopped 'em, fair and square.

Made some alterations.

You should watch where
you puking next time.

[CHUCKLES]

They look better on me.

[CHUCKLES]

Listen, Chicky, you're in
no shape to pick a fight,

so unless you want to be cleaning
that toilet bowl with your face,

I suggest you put a lid on it.

[FABRIC TEARS]

I want my sh*t back.

Your little Payless shoes
and cheap Rexall eyeliner

is still sitting in them
garbage bags I found them in.

You want your sh*t...

You can find me at my drag school.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- [RETCHING]
- Oh!

Child!

- Bitch, get your ass home.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hey.

- What is happening?
- Oh, we...

we fed the twins formula,

and then we got wasted.

You are my hero, Madam Brenda.

It was my pleasure, doll. [SIGHS]

You know, I cherish any
time with my little babies...

even if I'm not officially
their grandmother.

Well, don't tell Shar,

but you're their gam-gam
as far as I'm concerned.

Shar's a good egg.

Don't forget it.

Yes, ma'am.

[DOOR OPENS, INSECTS CHIRPING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES ON TV]

Hi, Ru.

Mm.

[KIMBERLY NICHOLE'S
"HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN"]

♪ ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ There is a house ♪

♪ In New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪

♪ ♪

Who are you?

She's a beauty.

How's the new car handle?

What the hell do you want?

I have a message from Daddius.

Excuse me?

Kaboom.

♪ My mother was a tailor ♪

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

♪ She sewed my new blue jeans ♪

♪ My father was ♪

Get inside.

♪ A gamblin' man ♪

♪ Oh, down in New Orleans ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Now, the only thing
a good gambler needs ♪

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

♪ Is a suitcase and a trunk ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ And the only time he's satisfied ♪

♪ Is when he's on a drunk ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Mother, tell your children ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Not to do what I have done ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Spend your life in sin and misery ♪

♪ Oh, in the house of the Rising Sun ♪

♪ Well, there is a house ♪

♪ In New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪

♪ And it's been the ruin ♪

♪ Of many a poor boy ♪

♪ And God knows ♪

♪ I am ♪

♪ One ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

You really did it.

Everyone is asking about the next party.

I wouldn't hold your breath.

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Hey.

I just wanted to say...

Oh, you don't have to apologize.

I was being truly psychotic earlier.

Oh, no. No, not that.

I obviously did nothing wrong...

[CHUCKLES]

But I am sorry

that I didn't realize how
close you and Daddius had become

since I left.

After the ceremony tomorrow,
I'm gonna pack my sh*t.

No, I...

I don't want you to go.

- Earlier, you said...
- Look...

I'll always love you,

but...

I'm just not the same
person I was when you left.

So...

you are breaking up with me?

Yes, but I want you to stay.

You can move into the
infinity room out back.

Be my family, Brodie.

♪ ♪

Just to be clear,

when you say "family,"

do you mean like FamilyDick family?

Right, right.

Platonic it is.

Come here.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ ♪

I thought we were giving
Daddius a proper internment.

This is a public park.

We are.

I mean, what better final resting place

than Daddius' favorite cruising spot?

[CHUCKLES]

Did you hear that someone blew up

Daddius' parents' free car last night?

No, I didn't.

It's a good thing I was
hosting a party last night.

Hmm, sure is.

Hey, y'all.

Why are we dumping him
next to used condoms?

[CHUCKLES] Right, makes sense.

[LIGHT LAUGHTER]

[GORDI'S "LONG WAY"]

♪ ♪

Okay.

♪ ♪

Ready to say goodbye?

♪ ♪

♪ Tear up what they hoped
was always in their heads ♪

♪ ♪

♪ 'Cause I am watching you ♪

♪ You are looking at me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And I am waiting for you ♪

♪ To say ♪

♪ "Just take a breath,
I know you'll get there"

♪ We have such a long, long way to go ♪

♪ "Just take a breath, I
know you'll get there" ♪

♪ We have such a long, long way to go ♪