03x06 - TDWT Aftermath I: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters

[bunniefuu]

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it was i who brought dishonor to our

team only one thing can restore the

balance

i think i will miss you most of all

i have a boyfriend

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i kind of i have a kind of a boyfriend

kinda

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is

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one day

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oh

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who's ready for some totally dramatic

aftermath

i'm jeff and i'm plainly stacy andrews

o'halloran i'm sure you recognize me

from such educating programs as

celebrity manhunt but today we're here

to talk about total drama world tour

we've got the juiciest dirt and the

dirtiest juice everything you ever

wanted to hear dished about season three

plus special guests and wicked surprises

but first let's introduce my friends you

mean the other sad bystanders who can't

even play this season easy

please welcome the total drama peanut

gallery eva sadie and katie trent justin

and beth so how does everybody feel

about the fact that it's jeff's fault

you're all out of the game hey

i tried to organize us into a rescue

party for the bus of doom and now your

rescue party has to sit and watch

everyone else play for a million i threw

a great consolation party with a pinata

yeah that was my guitar i kept telling

you being on that show is way too tough

on the bod and i don't need a million

dollars got it but what about the free

trip around the world with chris and

chef torturing us no thank you but what

about watching all your old friends hang

out without you we have each other

guess they're just being honest but what

about you any regrets

you kidding i'd way rather host this

aftermath and suffer through more drama

care to prove it with a game of truth or

hammer

[Applause]

sure

why not couldn't be happier

nice moves jeff almost nicer than the

moves alejandro made on bridgette happy

happy happy happy

look at the time game over

we better get on to our first segment

huh

we'll be spending time with everyone

who's left the show since the season

began everyone we could find at least

because two ex-contestants have gone

awol which leads us to our new segment

as designed by moi total

drama

fugitives after refusing to sing duncan

was the first contestant in total drama

history to quit only duncan would throw

away a chance at a million idiot but

what's weird is duncan didn't come home

he was last seen hanging from a large

fruited bush willow in africa but since

then

nothing duncan's totally disappeared so

we spread the word and our viewers

responded like never before with some

seriously incredible sightings and

photos let's have a look at some video

captured by hamish mctavish of loch ness

real sighting or fake total

we sent a roving reporter to interview

our eyewitness

roll it so you got to tell me what you

saw

ah

either gloom and an eyes of her

what are you saying

ah forget this

the sighting was clearly a massive fake

fine don't believe but just days later

we had another sighting from trollhatton

sweden

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what about that one real fake tough to

tell there wasn't a single non-swear in

there that we could play but it really

bleeped like duncan who can fake that

level of profanity the question remains

where is duncan now nobody can find him

not even everyone's fave host chris

mclean chris is looking for duncan chris

has the entire total drama machine

looking for duncan

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so keep those dunkin sightings coming he

can't hide from us forever also acting

camera shy everyone's favorite

homeschool kid camera shy so not cool

ezekiel you just said ezekiel and cool

in the same sentence huh hilarious well

dude this is kind of cool and by cool i

mean mega creepy that's right jeff

because even after ezekiel took the

early drop of shame our hidden cameras

captured this footage

oh

what do you think real or fake ghost

so the manhunt was great jeff but you

know who i'm really excited to spend

time with today's aftermath guest harold

you're half right i'm talking about our

other guests oh we have another guest

yes

you know that girl

surfer vegetarian blonde

oh yeah

who was that again bridget your

girlfriend the one who made out on tv

with alejandra and then kissed a pole

remember that's right please welcome our

soulful surfer whose unfortunate habit

of kissing really cute

come on

but i'm no surfer unless you count the

net plus i've never kissed any dudes

welcome to the show harold who is our

first guest please sit

it's time for your journey video fine i

can't wait let's take a look at the

dramatic events that brought harold to

this moment

awesome sweet lame

bogus

cool

help

gosh

[Applause]

it's over i was on the show for three

seasons and all i get is a nano second

yeah sorry you got bearded dude uh

correction jeff i booted myself but

where's that in the recap where are all

my wicked skills

well then harold have we got a recap for

you

when your bladder is full it's roughly

the size of a softball

the world's longest cricket match lasted

14 days that's a lot of googlies

in alaska it's illegal to talk to

someone when they moose hunt

squirrels only blink one eye at a time

like this

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one hundred eleven million one hundred

and eleven thousand one hundred and

eleven times one hundred and eleven

million one hundred and eleven thousand

one hundred and eleven equals twelve

quadrillion three hundred and forty five

trillion six hundred and seventy eight

billion

987 million 654

321

which is a numerical palindrome how cool

is that

yikes even lashauna oh harold

she rules her eyes all the time maybe

she has an eye tech one that only

happens when you talk right or maybe

she's just not that into you

hey it's time for harold to sing you're

gonna do that to him now a reunion of

your band the drama brothers right here

on the aftermath great idea justin what

i know you're a huge fan but this might

be over the guys it's cool i could use

some backup for this what about cody

he's part of the band already covered

i'd like to send this one out to lashana

you might think i know it all

and maybe i'm headed for a fall

i'm just that brainiac guy

left alone to sit and cry

honey

i have some questions for you first

girl

take some time to school me

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quench my thirst

for knowledge

cause

gosh

i just gotta know

how'd you get so hot baby

you're so smoking hot damn

my physics know-how ain't gotta hope of

explaining why your butt's so dope you

bend my space time continue then your

what your mama gave you i don't

even ever know my name

cause when you walk in the room nobody

looking the same

baby

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do you think we might need to get some

security out

[Applause]

here right

i demand a scientific investigation to

whether you're even from the human

nation i swear you're changing my

molecular structure with all your sexy

ions you make my heart rupture

[Applause]

can i regain control of the seriously

messed up situation stay tuned and see

if we'll even be back with more total

drama the aftermath

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hi everyone and welcome back to the

total drama aftermath as in the

aftermath of plainly losing your mind

over a boy band i was demonstrating

enthusiasm it's part of my job

as we've just proved total drama is the

most dramatic show in the history of

drama and plainly just proved she's not

as cool as she thinks she is in

entertainment news the drama brothers

just caused a minor riot here they were

last seen on foot running for their

lives pursued by huh

a yellow school bus let's go to the

scene and see what we can find out eva

can you tell us what you saw like a

whole bunch of dumb girls chasing harold

justin and trent and what do these girls

look like dumb like a bunch of dumb

girls and dumb plaid skirts like kilts

kilts a school bus could be a private

girls school

what color were the kilts wide and duh

ah forget this

ah time to welcome our next guest a

soulful surfer whose unfortunate habit

of kissing but first it's time for my

very favorite aftermath segment that's

gonna leave a mark no it's not yes it is

no it's not yes it is roll it

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[Applause]

remember earlier when you asked if we

wish we were back in the game i'm

getting a headache here watching that

makes it all worthwhile i would totally

rather be here chilling like a villain

partying and chatting oh really chatting

well then we should definitely introduce

our next guest

slow down we're not done with uh that's

gonna leave a marked segment i had one

left over jeff there's only room for so

many clips in each segment exactly and

this one is so special it gets its own

segment i call it jeff's favorite random

act of v*olence of the week in random

v*olence

interesting ah wash it up boys

hey my friend is

[Applause]

[Applause]

come on

[Applause]

i was just trying to give her some oats

look at chef's face right here and

listen huh you hear that huh play it

again go on hear that

crackity cr*ck cr*cker aren't ya chef's

old bones can't take too much more of

the izzy

moving on she kissed up here's bridgette

oh

put the backstage feet on the screen and

get my agent on the phone

come on bridgette you can't lock

yourself in the green room forever

don't you kiss the frozen pole on tv

it wasn't that bad it's not even just

that

it's this whole aftermath show come out

and we'll talk about it

i thought i hated interviewing people on

the show last year but

being a guest is even worse there has to

be something you liked about the show

bridgette

jeff

even when he was being a hollywood level

fame loving freakazoid

i liked jeff when are you gonna get a

better chance to tell him how you feel

you sure i can't do it by text oh

let's figure out it's bridgette

i said bridgette bridgette wants to sing

oh

we'll make her sing all right not your

way her way it's the only way she does

the show i want her out here

fine

deal

i'm sorry

so sorry

sorry like a flower

after the first frost and i'm

sorry like a mitten that's been dropped

and feels so

lost

oops i really messed up

at least i messed up you confess up you

got caught on national tv it's

international jeff total drama is seen

all over the world

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when they play

a wrong

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international tv huh

in front of all my friends

but i'm sorry

so sorry jeff

i really think you

were so

cute me drew

and if you give me one more chance

i'll do my happy happy day you are

pretty cute when you dance oh no no

you're the one for me

and i'm so incredibly

wildly madly crazily

oh so completely

infinitely

beyond sad

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[Applause]

i guess maybe you can have a seat over

here bridgette

if you want

yeah that's a great idea jeff now let's

play bridget's video montage edited

specially by me

oh

so is it finally time for truth or

tractor trailer i know what i always

wanted to do when i was hosting this

show make out with a hot spanish dude no

i always wanted to answer some viewer

mail aren't those fun

that can be arranged let's go live to

wireton where your first interrogator i

mean fan awaits

peggy ho this is willy from wired and

i'm bridget's biggest fan oh isn't that

cute totally

what did you want to know willy from

wyerton like i don't want to be too

obvious so i'm not asking about vegan

footwear or catching waves that's cool

willy i'm open there's just one thing i

really really really want to know

anything

would you kiss this paul enough i am not

going to sit here and take another

moment of this jeff

i don't know how to apologize any more

sincerely that's no reason to stop

trying you watch the show right alejanus

was playing every girl out there we all

fell for it some harder than others

imagine if the tables were turned you

probably would have kissed him too he's

that good

now this this is a show

finally i am proud to intro our biggest

baddest newest segment ever

total smackdown

who's ready for the first sanction b*at

down in aftermath history pull up a

chair and hit record on your pbrs cause

it's time for our main event the jeff

and bridget total smackdown

you'd be mad if i've been caught making

it with a girl poll on tv polls aren't

alive tell that to your tongue

what

she cheated on you on tv

so much no no no no you can't do this

what's wrong with you people can't you

be mad at each other it's total drama

not total forgive and forget

oh never leave me again oh you're so

much better than that

ouch sorry

guess you guys just weren't meant to be

so

what are you doing later

i hate this show

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they better give me my job back i'm

never doing this show again never ever

[Applause]

you feel different

i don't know why you would but they want

me to tell you to tune in next time got

it there's going to be more crazy action

on total drama

well

[Applause]

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