05x24 - Sky Fall

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Total Drama". Aired: July 8, 2007 to present.*
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
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05x24 - Sky Fall

Post by bunniefuu »

Chris:

Last time on "total drama,"

We had some, uh,

Technical difficulties.

Then someone -

Clearly not me -

Accidentally activated

The island's

Automated

Self-destruct sequence.

We had an hour to shut down

The main computer

Or the island would blow,

k*lling everyone who wasn't

Aboard a fancy helicopter.

Scarlett made it to the control

Room with loads of time,

But went loco -

Big time -

And demanded the million bucks

Or bye-bye island!

With the help of an exceedingly

Handsome chris-bot,

The teens gently

Subdued scarlett

And very carefully shut down

The main computer.

I then cashed in

Some of my cannon miles

So that scarlett and max

Could travel home together.

Today four will become three

And soon we will see

Who will go kabloom...

Or should I say whom?

Whom cares!

Let's start the show!

It's "total drama

Pahkitew island!"

♪♪♪

♪ I wanna be...

I wanna be... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be...

I wanna be... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

(Whistling chorus)

(Ice chunk scrapes

Across the ground)

(Hairdryer whirs)

(Bird chirps)

(Loud crunching)

Is that a... Cabbage?

Momma needs some roughage.

Nuff said.

Or do you want all the hard,

Dark, corn-riddled details?

Sky:

No. Nope. I'm good.

Have you seen shawn

And jasmine?

Sugar:

He took her on

Some big romantic surprise.

So they're probably off

Slaughtering goats

Or something.

Slaughtering goats?

Really?

Sugar sure has a strange sense

Of romance.

Ugh!

But if I want to win

The million dollars,

I'm gonna have to consider

An alliance with her.

How bad can it be?

(Straining noises)

(Frustrated sigh)

Nothing!

How many cabbages

Does a girl gotta eat

To host her own

Elimination ceremony?!

Sky:

Uh... Sugar,

I was thinking we-

Sugar:

What're you blabbering about?

Sky:

Um... No. Nothing.

Sugar:

You want to form an alliance.

Yeah. How'd you know?

It's butt and brain food.

Okay, I'll team up with ya,

But if you're playing

With sugar,

You gotta be willing

To get dirty.

No cheating.

A dishonest win

Isn't a win.

We play fair

Or forget it.

It's the only way

Either of us

Will get a sh*t

At the million dollars.

Your call.

Fine, I promise.

I was totally lying.

Usually, I don't rely on others

To help me win.

But I think the best thing

I can do is team up with sugar.

Wow! Did you think of this

All on your own?

Um, yeah?

Jasmine:

Shawn, we obviously aren't going

To vote each other off,

But once we eliminate

Sugar and sky

We'll be facing each other

In the finale.

Uh-huh.

When that happens,

We should just play for keeps,

Then split the money /

Regardless of who wins.

Uh... Yeah!

Pomegranite?

Oh man!

How am I gonna break it to her?

I need the whole million.

Half's no good!

I've designed

A zombie-proof bunker

And if I have to cut corners

On the construction materials

I might as well turn it

Into a z-b&b -

Zombie bed and breakfast -

Where my brains are

The breakfast

And the beds are...

Well, they're just beds.

Shawn is such a nice guy

To split the million with me.

All we have to do

Is get to the end

And avoid that dreadful cannon.

I'm so glad you feel

The same.

This way we can't lose.

(Mic feedback squeals)

Chris:

Sorry! Sorry about that.

Seems like every time

I press this button it...

(Mic feedback squeals)

Yep. It's definitely

This button.

Anyway, time to join me

At the base of mount mclean.

I just named the mountain.

I named it after me -

You know, mclean -

'Cause I'm awesome.

Anyway... Just get over here,

Pronto.

Chris:

Congratulations!

You should be very proud

Of yourselves

For making it

To the final four.

Proud and utterly terrified

Of what awaits you.

Shawn:

Is the island going to try

And k*ll us again?

Chris:

Nope. The island is now

Completely offline.

Thanks to two people

Who's names I never want

To hear again!

He's talkin' 'bout max

And scarlett.

Chris:

Ah-hem! Okay.

Today's challenge is called

Mount ever-fast.

Which is like mount everest,

Only this mountain was modeled

After one in...

(Loud chewing sounds)

Why are you eating

A cabbage?

My colon's more crammed

Than a city bus

During a rush-hour snowstorm.

(Loud rumbling)

The wheels are spinnin'...

But it ain't movin'.

Ugh! Okay, my fault for asking.

Now the rules are simple.

At the top of mount mclean

Is a flag.

The first one to capture

The flag wins immunity

And gets to feed on

A fabulous take-out dinner.

The last one to make it

To the top

Gets fed to the cannon.

Chef?

Sky, jasmine, shawn:

But what if we- are we allowed

To- is there a way we can-

(Air horn blasts)

(Yells)

Go!

(Panting)

Chris:

This is going to sound crazy,

But I kind of miss

That wizard kid...

Force field!

(Both laugh)

Okay, time to make their lives

Miserable.

(Whirring)

Sugar, keep moving!

We're a team

So you've gotta keep up!

Sky, sometimes... (Wheezes)

You gotta stop... (Gasps)

And, um, smell the flowers!

(Inhales deeply and exhales)

Sky:

After we win!

Let's go!

Stay close.

Knowing chris,

There are boobytraps

All over this mountain.

Sugar:

(Chuckles)

Oh, I said booby traps!

Just... C'mon!

When I win the million dollars

I'll hire the best

Olympic trainers in the world

And win gold in every event

At the summer

And winter olympics.

So even if I have to carry sugar

All the way to the top,

I am getting that flag!

(Chuckles)

Sky:

C'mon, sugar,

You gotta be kidding me!

Help me out a little here.

Sugar:

What! I am helping.

I'm keeping my eyes out

Just like you said.

Like them things

Right there!

Sky:

(Gasps) run!

Sugar:

All right!

(Snarling)

Sugar:

Stay back, you filthy dinosaurs!

Chris:

Actually, they're filthy

Crocodiles to be exact.

k*ller crocs.

If I were you,

I'd get moving.

(Screaming)

(Bleating)

(Snarling)

Chris:

What? They're leaving?!

I mean...

Whoo. Close call!

(Laughs)

I am so glad you two are-

(Static)

Sugar:

Oww!

Hey! How dare they break

My equipment.

Do you know how much I had

To pay for that monitor?

Twenty bucks!

Sky:

Ugh! That was a hard landing,

Wasn't it, sugar?

Sugar?

Ow!

Sky:

Your nose!

My nose hasn't bled

Like this

Since I tried cow tipping

At uncle elliott's farm!

(Giggles)

Hmm.

Shawn:

So, that's what you're gonna

Do with the million bucks

If you win?

Jasmine:

It's always been my dream

To have my own business -

A flower shop

And cage fighting school,

Called "roses are red,

Bruises are blue".

Could she have a worse plan

For the money?

Most businesses fail

In their first year

And the name she's chosen

Is the second worst name, ever!

A few years ago my uncle opened

A tanning salon

And lost everything.

Never got a single client!

Bernie's tanning salon.

His name wasn't even bernie!

(Gasps)

Shawn:

Now what?!

Chris:

Now you hop from one hoodoo

To the next

Until you make it across!

There's a trick to it

So listen up,

This is important.

Don't fall - to - your - death.

(Laughs)

Or we could use our gear

To climb down,

Jasmine:

And then back up

The other side.

Shawn:

Ha! Yeah!

Chris:

Sure, if you think

You have time

Before the crocodiles arrive.

Jasmine, shawn:

What?!

(Snarling)

Crocs are flesh tearing!

Brain eating!

Cold blooded!

Green skin!

Tiny leg zombies.

See? Think! Gotta think!

Jasmine:

I'm not really scared of crocs.

They're pretty much

Australia's version

Of the domestic house cat.

Only with somewhat bigger

Teeth.

And some say a slightly

More lethal death roll.

(Lovingly)

But they haven't met

My whiskers.

Jasmine:

Whiskers, time for your bath.

(Screeching)

Jasmine:

Ow! (Pained whimpers)

Ow! Whiskers! Ooh!

Okay... Another time then.

(Snarling)

Chris:

You might wanna make a decision

With the whole

"Avoiding the crocs" thing.

Tick tock!

Shawn:

No time...too high...

Can't repel!

Zombie crocs...

We're gonna get eaten!

Brains... Ahhhhhhh!

Jasmine:

Shawn? Shawn?!

He's not moving.

(Laughs) incredible.

He's actually frozen in terror.

I thought that only happened

In cartoons! Hilarious!

Jasmine:

Shawn, c'mon!

(Snarling)

We've gotta go now!

Chris:

Well, our final four

May be no more.

Will it be a double elimination

Ceremony - aka funeral?

Find out next on "total drama

Pahkitew island"!

(Jaws snapping)

(Gasps)

Shawn:

Ah! Are those croc-croc-croc...

Jasmine:

I know I said I'm not scared

Of crocs.

But knowing chris there's

Probably tigers inside those

Crocs.

And sharks inside the tigers.

And you'd be crazy not to be

Scared of a shark

Dressed like a tiger

Dressed like a croc!

Jasmine:

Shawn, we have to jump

From hoodoo to hoodoo.

It's just one tiny

Hop after another.

I don't know if I can-

You can do it!

You're amazing!

I can do this.

Yes! Here I go!

Shawn:

Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!

(Laughs)

Oh no! Did I forget to mention

Those hoodoos are greased?

Whoa-whoaw!

Ahhh! Oof!

Oooh. Ouch! Ah!

(Pained groans)

Jasmine:

Shawn?!

Jasmine totally saved my life.

Honestly, if I could split

The money with her I would!

Chris:

Took ya long enough.

Next time, would you mind

Attacking the contestants,

Instead of the local game?

(Belches)

Chris:

Ew!

Chris:

Swinging log comin' 'atcha!

And people say I don't care

For the safety

And well-being of our players!

Jasmine:

Owwwwww!

Shawn:

Gotcha! You okay?

I'm fine... Ohhhh.

(Effort grunt)

Shawn:

She saved my life!

I owed it to her.

Besides,

She's totally awesome.

Oh man, if this was a zombie

Apocalypse,

I'd be so dead right now.

Shawn:

Ugh! Ohh! Aww!

Arg! Come'on!

(Scared whimpers)

What's wrong?

Afraid of a little hundred

And fifty foot drop?

Maybe this will change

Your mind.

(Vicious snarling)

Sky:

No sign of those crocs.

It's safe now sugar!

Ladies! Welcome.

You're still alive.

That's okay there's

Still plenty of time.

And it's a long way-

Sky:

Whoa, look how deep

That...(Gasp) sugar!

Sugar:

Can we take a break soon?

I'm just plain tuckered!

Um, sure.

In a few more steps!

Sugar:

Ugh! I feel like nothing's

Going right today!

Sugar:

Oh crud, we have to cross

That?!

Here goes nothing...

Sky:

No-no! We gotta go this way.

Sugar:

Ha-ha!

Thing.

If I was chris I totally

Would've made people cross that

(Chuckles)

Okay, being partners with sugar

Is a lot harder than I thought.

But a promise is a promise.

So I'll do whatever

It takes to win,

As long as it's by the book.

(Straining grunts)

Really, shawn,

I'm feeling much better.

Jasmine:

You can put me down now.

Shawn: (straining)

Only if you're absolutely sure

Because I could carry you

(Grunts) all day.

Hope your arms are in better

Shape than your legs,

'Cause it's time to break out


The climbing gear.

Shawn:

Ugh...

(Wheezing)

Sky:

Sugar, if this cave

Has an exit somewhere

Higher up the mountain,

We could catch up to shawn

And jasmine

Or even pass them!

Sugar:

Yeah, but what if it doesn't?

It's a risk

But if we stay on the trail

I don't think we'll catch up

To them.

Sugar:

Hmmm. Path or cave.

My mother punched your mother

Right in the head.

H-a-e-d!

(Then very casually)

Cave it is.

Sky:

I hope our mothers

Never meet...

(Whooshing)

Chris:

Oh, k*ller robot crocodiles,

Is there anything

You can't do?!

Shawn:

Gotta keep up! Gotta keep up!

Gotta break it to her.

Whoaa-aaaaaagh! Oof!

That was close.

Jasmine:

Shawn! You okay down there?

Shawn:

Yep. I'm hanging in there!

This cave is mustier than

A wet dog in a strom-cellar.

Sugar:

Sky:

There! Sugar,

I see daylight up abo...

Sky:

Shhh! Not a sound.

Chris: (loudly)

Hey! I see you found

Our bear cave! Oops!

(Bears roar)

Sugar:

Nuh-uh, sugar ain't

Goin' out like this.

I got dreams to make real!

Sugar:

My plan for the money

May seem real normal,

But I wanna go to college

To study veterinary medicine

With a minor in cosmetology.

And then get a job puttin'

Make-up on famous animals.

I may not be able

To put lipstick

On these bears right now,

But someday someone somewhere

Watching some movie will say...

"You know who put the make-up

On that monkey?

Sugar did!"

Sky:

What?!

Sugar:

I can get us out of this,

But it ain't gonna be pretty.

Can you handle it?!

Um...

I said...

Can you handle it?

I have no idea what sugar

Is about to do,

But I am % sure

I can't handle it.

Sugar:

You bears are about

To be sugared.

(Straining grunts)

(Big fart)

(Fizzles, explodes)

(Moans) what - happened...

In there?

Sky:

Sugar:

Remember the nine heads

Of cabbage that i-

Sky:

Nuff said!

Jasmine:

You know, us working together

Like this,

There's no way we won't win.

I'll be happy to split

That million / with you,

Partner.

Shawn:

Uh, yeah.

Split. Sure thing.

Jasmine:

You... You are okay with that,

Right?

Aaaaaaaaahhhh!

Shawn:

Jasmine! You okay? Hang on!

Jasmine:

No! I'll get out of this

And meet you up there

But you go get that flag!

You hear me?! Go!

Shawn:

All right, I'll see you

At the finish line.

Uh oh.

I hope something breaks

My fall...

Whoaaaaaa....

Sugar:

Mama says, if you roll around

In the dirt for twenty minutes,

It'll rub the stink

Right off of ya.

Sky:

Do you hear something?

Jasmine:

...ooooaaaaaaaahhh....

(All groaning)

Agh! Phew!

(Gasps)

(Snarls)

How in the heck did

A crocodile get up here?!

Are you kidding me?

These robo-crocs

Can do anything!

They're even equipped with

The latest version of mytunes!

(Pop tune starts playing)

Chris:

Anyway, they're going

To eat you. Good luck!

Grrrrrrr-ahhhhhhhhh!!

Whoa! Whoa! Ahhh!

Shawn:

Yes!

Aw man...

Chris:

(Laughs)

So close. Oh well I guess

That's what... Wha?!

(Pop tune playing)

What?

(expl*si*n, coughs)

Shawn:

Oh yeeeeeeeeahhhh!

Chris:

We have a winner!

Shawn captured the flag

And won immunity.

The next two to the top

Get to stay,

Last one here blasts away!

I've only gotta b*at one

Of them to the top

And sky's making herself

Easy pickins.

Time to show her that playing

Dirty is the best way to play.

Oh, sky. I'm so tired!

I don't think

I can do anymore.

Sky:

Come on, sugar.

We're a team,

We can do this.

Sugar:

You mean I can do this!

Sky: aaaaaaahhhhh!

Jasmine: oh no! Sky!

Sugar:

Don't hit your head

On the cannon!

(Chuckles)

Sky:

Whoooooo-hoooooo!

Sugar, our deal is off!

Chris:

And sky comes in second.

Yeah, whoo-hooo!

Yeah, sugar and jasmine,

I can think of one million

Reasons you should get moving.

Sugar:

(Gasping) no... No!

Aw, fudge nuggets!

(Tree creaks)

Jasmine:

Ah!

Owww...

I meant to do that.

(Laughs)

Sugar:

(Snarling)

(Laughs nervously)

Aaaaaah!

(Growl, effort grunt)

(Air horn blows)

Chris:

Sugar makes it to the top!

Sorry jasmine,

You're going home!

(Disappointed groan)

Madame make-up monkey lady

Is still in the game! Boom!

Chris:

I imagined a different outcome

But as long as I get to sh**t

Someone out of a cannon,

I'll sleep okay.

Sugar, sky and shawn are safe.

Shawn, you win dinner.

A take-out order from

The prairie oyster palace!

♪ You're nuts if you're not nuts

About these nuts! ♪

Can I share one last dinner

With jasmine?

Sorry, pal,

Jasmine couldn't get out

From down-undah the tree

So she's got a date

With a cannon.

Chris:

Is that croc wearing make-up?

Sugar:

So pretty!

Man. I should'a helped

Instead of going ahead.

It's okay-

My idea, remember?

I guess we won't be partners,

But I still hope you win it.

(Sugar's stomach rumbles)

Sugar:

Better hurry it up,

I got a cannon of my own

About to go off here.

Chris:

Quickly jasmine! Quickly!

Fire in the hole!

Jasmine:

Aghhhhh!

Better take cover!

The bus is about to move!

Sugar:

(Farts)

Chris:

Next time... (Coughing)

Total dra...

(Coughing) pahkitew.

(Fainting moan and thud)

Chris:

Next time on "total drama":

We're down to three

Contestants.

And each one of them got to

Create their own challenge.

What followed was some very

Unhappy hurtful hurdling

Some money saw dropping

Tree flinging fun,

And you're gonna wanna see

What happens next.

Yep. Some episodes are easier

To sum up than others.

But you don't wanna miss

The next

"Total drama pahkitew island!"
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