03x03 - Betrothed

[bunniefuu]

Huh?

Uh, Starfire?

STARFIRE: Hmm? Going somewhere?

STARFIRE: I am leaving for Tamaran.

And you're taking all your stuff because?

I am not ever coming back.

ALL: What?!

Starfire, what's wrong?

Nothing is wrong.

I am... getting married.

ALL: What?!

♪ When there's trouble You know who to call ♪

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♪ From their tower They can see it all ♪

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♪ When there's evil On the att*ck ♪

♪ You can rest knowing They got your back ♪

♪ 'Cause when the world Needs heroes on patrol ♪

♪ Teen Titans go! ♪

♪ With their superpowers They unite ♪

♪ Teen Titans! ♪

♪ Never met a villain That they liked ♪

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♪ They've got the bad guys On the run ♪

♪ They never stop till Their job gets done ♪

♪ 'Cause when the world Is losing all control ♪

♪ Teen Titans go! ♪

♪ One, two, three, four, go! ♪ Teen Titans!

ROBIN: You're getting married?

Indeed.

And I cannot wait to see Tamaran.

I have been having a bit of the sick-home feeling lately, and am eager to introduce my home

planet to you, my friends.

First, you must ingest the fresh-squeezed glorg, or perhaps sputlinks.

And wait until you see the portkins.

They are as big as a flornop.

Um, am I the only one afraid of the big portkins?

You're getting married?!

Yeah, uh...

Anyone we know?

Oh, I have never met him.

My betrothed has been chosen for me by the Grand Ruler of Tamaran.

You're getting married?!

And to someone you've never met?

[GASPING]

Of course, Robin.

It is the way of my people.

But, Starfire...

[expl*si*n BOOMS] [GASPS]

I don't suppose this is some kind of crazy Tamaranian welcoming committee?

Whoever they are, they've got us outnumbered 10 to 1.

Not for long.

Titans, separate.

You think you've got me?

Think again.

[GRUNTS]

I begin to suspect that separation was not such a wise idea.

[GRUNTS]

Starfire's right.

Titans, regroup.

Who were they?

And where are we?

The planet Tamaran, my home.

[GASPS]

Is it not the most beautiful place your eyes have ever observed?

RAVEN: Uh... sure?

[GEARS GRINDING]

[YELLS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SNARLS]

[SCREAMS]

Titans...

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Um, unless they tickle people to death here, I think you can chill.

Friends, I wish you to meet my kinorfka, Galfore.

He raised me from the time I was very small.

[LAUGHS]

You mean this dude's your nanny?

You find that amusing, little one?!

Uh.

Nice to meet you.

Zal.

I see you have met our new enemy.

Then you know who att*cked us?

The great Drenthax Army.

They thr*aten to overthrow our planet, our way of life.

And if I were Grand Ruler, I would...

[SIGHS]

Well, I am not.

Let us just say that much has changed since you departed.

I have missed you, Galfore.

And I have missed you, Princess Starfire.

TITANS: Princess?

Oh, yes. I am second in line for the throne.

O , yes. a seco d e o t e t o e.

Perhaps I forgot to mention.

[GIGGLES]

Did you know about this?

Just go.

Alien animals. Cool.

[SNARLS] [SHRIEKS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

You're the alien here.

Look, Starfire, about this wedding...

[ROARS]

It is forbidden for outworlders to touch the princess.

Um, please do not harm my friend.

I'm not touching her.

To our beautiful princess and her new husband.

And to my good friends.

I am jubilant you all could be here to celebrate my wedding.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

We're... really going to miss you.

Ah! Please, eat.

[TAMARANS GROWLING]

[GOBBLING]

I'm guessing you picked up your table manners on Earth.

Hurry, or you will not get any!

[GOBBLING]

[GO G]

Hello! Vegetarian in the house.

Does this look like a veggie to you?

[MUMBLES] I don't know.

I'm not hungry.

[PLAYING BOLD FANFARE]

[ALL GROANING]

Uh... it is music.

All hail the Grand Ruler of Tamaran, the Empress.

[STARFIRE GASPS]

Blackfire?

Surprised to see me, little sister?

I am surprised to see you out of prison.

Oh, that.

Well, after you had me thrown in jail, I got bored.

So I broke out and took over Tamaran for kicks.

But enough about me.

I'm sure you're eager to see who you'll be spending the rest of your life with.

[SNORTS]

Starfire, meet your groom...

Glyrdsklechhh.

Um... he's cute.

My... groom?

But he is... I cannot...

You can and you will.

ou ca a d you .

You see, sister dear, this darling creature is the exalted sklerch of the swamp moons of Drenthax

4.

And since his invasion army is parked outside our castle, I arranged your marriage to save our

beloved Tamaran from annihilation.

If your groom can't kiss his bride, we can all kiss Tamaran goodbye.

I am sure we will be... very... happy... together.

Ugh.

[GRUNTING]

[BURPS]

He says he can't wait to take you to his swamp planet, far, far away.

We celebrate my sister's wedding at moonset tonight!

[ALL CHEERING]

Tonight?

Starfire, are you sure?

Yes.

Take the princess to her quarters so she may prepare.

And keep an eye on her friends.

BEAST BOY: Help!

[GRUNTING]

I can't tell what's a bed, what's a chair and what's alive.

H- how am I supposed to take my beauty nap?

How can you even think about sleep?

We can't let Starfire go through with this.

Come on, man.

Yo s re o 're not j st o kno jealo s?

You sure you're not just, you know... jealous?

Of that ugly, smelly whatever-it-is?

You saw her face, Cyborg. She doesn't even like him.

True, but maybe she doesn't need to.

Things are different here.

Who are we to question her culture?

Blackfire arranged the whole thing.

How do we even know if any of this is real?

Cyborg and Beast Boy, check out the Drenthax fleet.

Raven, see what you can learn about this... thing she's marrying.

And you?

I need to see Starfire.

Yeow!

What are you trying to do, wake up the whole...?

Where's the crew? Out to lunch?

BOTH: Huh? [BEEPING]

CYBORG: Remote control.

They've got a whole fleet of ships...

But no army.

And Blackfire doesn't want anyone to know.

Nice.

BLACKFIRE: Yes, my plan was brilliant, wasn't it, Glyrdsklechhh?

[SNORTING]

I give you my pesky little sister, and you give me... the Jewel of Charta.

With its powers enhancing my own, I can rule Tamaran with an iron fist!

t ts po e s e a c g y o , ca u e a a a t a o st!

No one will dare challenge me.

[SNORTING]

[GRUNTING]

Ew.

BLACKFIRE: Well done, Glyrdsklechhh.

You've discovered a spy.

[CREAKING]

[GRUNTING]

[WHISPERS] Starfire.

Starfire.

[GASPS] Robin.

Thank Zal you...

Uh, that is, I trust you are enjoying your stay?

Come on. We're getting out of here.

Oh, Robin, I am sorry.

I cannot.

Starfire, you don't want to marry him.

Marrying him will bring peace to my planet.

It is good for everyone.

It's not good for you.

Robin, if you cannot be happy for me, then perhaps you should not attend my wedding.

Starfire... Mmph, mmph.

[DOOR OPENS]

[GRUNTS]

[DOOR CLOSES] [GROWLS]

So...

I guess we're gonna miss the wedding.

I couldn't talk her out of it.

She has to marry him, for her people.

No, she doesn't.

It's all a lie, the army, the w*r, everything.

Blackfire set her up.

Then we have to tell Starfire the truth before it's too late.

I have never seen a more beautiful bride.

Something troubles you, my little bumgorf?

Nothing troubles me.

Do not attempt to fool an old klorfker.

I raised you.

I have always expected great things from you, my princess, and tonight is no exception.

Yes.

I will do what is right for Tamaran.

You must do what is right in your heart.

[DOOR OPENS]

Ready, sister dear?

[ALL GRUNT]

[GRUNTING]

[SNARLS]

[SHRIEKING]



How did you know you could do that?

Lucky guess.

[TRUMPETING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLING]

Where are my friends?

Guess they had better things to do.

Now smile pretty for your new hubby.

[GURGLING]

My humble servants, we meet at moonset to bind my sister to this handsome young sklerch in

joyous betrothal.

Can any among us offer reason why these two lovebirds should not be together forever?

Didn't think so.

Then do you, Glyrdsklechhh, take Starfire to be your wife as decreed by the Grand Ruler of

Tamaran?

[GURGLES]

And do you, Starfire, take Glyrdsklechhh to be your husband?

I... I...

Yes, sister dear?

[GRUNTS]

Starfire!

[GASPS]

[CHATTERING]

Silence!

Silence!

Do you wish to do what is right and take this thing to be your husband?

I do... not.

Argh!

Treason.

[GRUNTS] [SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

I thought we agreed you would do what is best for Tamaran, little sister.

You will marry the sklerch.

ROBIN: Starfire, it's a trick, all of it.

Blackfire's been lying to everyone.

[CROWD WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

You are not best for Tamaran.

You dare to challenge the Grand Ruler?

I challenge my sister for the crown.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

Starfire! GALFORE: Hold.

If anyone interferes, the challenge is void.

The princess will lose.

CYBORG: Besides, our girl can handle herself.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[ O G U G]

[GRUNTING]

The Jewel of Charta.

I'm invincible.

[SCREAMS, GRUNTS]

ALL: Oof!

Besides, you'll always be my little sister.

I am not so little anymore.

[GRUNTING]

[BOTH GRUNTING] [SCREAMS]

[CHEERING]

[GRUNTING] Earth has changed you, Starfire.

[SCREAMS]

That's right.

Bow down before your Grand Ruler.

You may be the ruler of this planet, but you are not the ruler of me!

[SCREAMS]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS, GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

The challenge is complete.

Tamaran has a new Grand Ruler.

[CHEERING]

I am sorry, Gilder...

Glurggle...

G u gg e...

You.

But there shall be no wedding.

[SNORTS]

And henceforth, my sister Blackfire shall be banished from Tamaran.

Banished?

Are you joking?

Where am I supposed to live?

[SNORTING]

You wish.

I won't forget this, sister dear.

So now that you rule the planet, I guess you'll be staying here?

I must do what is right for Tamaran.

[CHEERING]

All hail Empress Starfire.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Someone very wise once told me to listen to my heart, and so I overthrew my sister because she

was not best for Tamaran.

And now my heart is telling me that I am also not best for Tamaran.

[ALL GASPING, CHATTERING]

My life and my heart is on Earth.

That is where I belong.

But I leave you in good hands: the hands that cared for me as a child.

All hail Emperor Galfore.

ALL: All hail Galfore! All hail Galfore!

All scripts have been copyrighted by their respective owners unless stated otherwise.

Let us now return to Earth, please.

I am feeling the sick for my home.

My real home.

Then let's hurry.

I- I couldn't figure out how to use the bathrooms here.

We are not having any accidents in the T-Ship.

You get me?

I'm glad you'll be staying with the Titans for a long time and... not getting married.

Yes. The next time I shall choose my own husband.

Who is to know?

Perhaps there is a groom for me on Earth.

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go! ♪