01x03 - Picnic at Raven's Rock

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Lake". Aired: June 17, 2022 - present.*
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Justin returns from abroad after a breakup, in the hope of reconnecting with the biological daughter that he gave up for adoption in his teens.
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01x03 - Picnic at Raven's Rock

Post by bunniefuu »

- [CLATTERING]
- [SNORTS]

[PLATES AND CUTLERY CLATTERING]



[SIGHS]

- [CEREAL TINKLING ON CERAMIC]
- God...

God, what the hell is happening?

What, are you prepping for end times?

I thought we could have
some breakfast together

and then go on a hike.

Why? Oh, my God. What did I do wrong?

I lost your fun bet. Remember?

- I owe you some family bonding.
- [JUSTIN GROANS]

It sounds like family bondage.

Mm...

You know what's fun? Is a nice,

slow roll, AM start
and chips for breakfast.

Yeah. Well, I found some environmentally

significant wetlands
nearby and you and I

- are gonna check 'em out. 'Kay?
- [JUSTIN SIGHS]

Do you remember that the cottage

is about enjoying nature
and not about, like,

putting it under a microscope?

See, that is the problem.

People have been enjoying nature so much

that the planet is a trash can fire.

So, we are prepping for end times.

Okay, I'm gonna need some
coffee and some chips.

- [SIGHS]
- Where's the, um...

Mugs are in the upper
cabinets for better flow.

- [JUSTIN] Okay. And the ...
- Snacks are on the top shelf

to discourage overindulgence. And ants.

Both of which, essential ingredients

to the cottage experience.

Ew.

So, you brought a label maker, did ya?

This is how you cottage.

You sit back, you relax.

You do nothing.

Okay, doing nothing is
not relaxing for me, okay?

The planet is on fire,
there's systemic racism,

economic inequality and doing nothing

- is the reason for all that.
- Okay... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm puttin' it back in.

Okay? I take it back.

I won't cottage-splain anymore.

All right. Why don't we start
our bondage with a morning dip?

It's environmentally
friendly, low economic impact.

Water's so pretty.

Nah, I'm good.

What do you mean? Isn't swimming,

like, your thing?

Lake water's gross, okay?
You can't see the bottom.

"Jaws", uh, "Lake Placid"
and seaweed's nasty.

Ah-kay...

- New bondage plan.
- [SIGHS]

Why don't we hike up to Raven's Rock

and you can swim there.

It's the clearest,
deepest part of the lake,

nothing nasty to touch

and you can see all the sharks coming.

Fine, as long as you don't spend the day

obsessing over Maisy and the cottage.

Pfft. Deal. Done.

I just have, like, a teensy
little errand to run, first.



♪ Never let, never let them go ♪

♪ I get the feeling,
we're just repeating ♪


Thank you.

Thank you so much

for making me Boathouse president

for the th consecutive year!

Still too needy.

Winning by acclaim means
that no one ran against you.

What are you thanking
them for? Political apathy?

More McDormand. Less Hathaway.

Okay.

[MESSAGE SENT SOUND]

No!

Victory cookies?

That's a big flex, Mom.

Oh... Is somebody cranky because

- they miss their girlfriend?
- No.

I'm just sick of lifeguard
training, Dad's obsessed.

Well, stop trash-talking
your parents to Sara.

I see you texting her all morning.

[VICTOR] Have you seen my stopwatch?

Go easy on Killian. Okay?

- I think he misses Sara.
- [OPAL] Yeah.

He misses dry-humping
her in the basement.

Opal. We talked about boundaries.

Let your brother dry hump in peace.

Listen.

Killian is gonna win Junior Lifeguard.

I'm gonna be re-elected president

and then we can
renovate this dump. Okay?

But remember, to truly
win, we must embrace loss.

I think maybe no more Brené
Brown podcasts for you, okay?

- [SMOOCH]
- Have fun.

Oh, hun, I love it.

It's a bit small, don't you think?

Oh. No.

This is for me.

And the shoulder pads.

- [OPAL] Yeah.
- Okay.

[BILLIE] Convince Jayne to
run for Boathouse president?

That's your teensy errand?

Well, I can't run because
I don't own property.

But, if Jayne becomes president,

she can veto Maisy's reno easy-peasy.

[NOTIFICATION SOUNDS]

Jayne's family's owned
a cottage on the lake

as long as we have, so she'll understand

the importance of protecting
heritage properties.

Why don't you just talk to Maisy instead

of going behind her back?

Billie, to fight a monster,

you get an even bigger
monster. All right?

Godzilla vs. King Kong.

Yeah. Judging from Games Night,

Jayne's more gecko than Godzilla.

Oh, not when we were kids.

No, she always tried to get Maisy

to switch rooms with
me because it was easier

to climb out my bedroom window.

So, she told my dad that she caught me

pulling the padge to
Maisy's yearbook photo...

Which, disgusting.

My dad moved me down to
the basement the next day.

No, Jayne is the original Maisy,

I just gotta figure out a way
to reawaken the beast within.

[NOTIFICATION SOUNDS]

Ooh. Is someone leaving Kissian unread?

He has a girlfriend, remember?

And, I can't tell if he's
being flirty or friendly.

You should honeydick him
if you want to find out.

- Honeydick?
- Yes. To honeydick,

means to hang out with
somebody, work up a flirt.

And, if he makes a
move, he's a dirt bag.

But if he comes clean, he's decent.

Or, I could just ask Killian.

Yes, but then Killian
would know that you like him

and we never give away our power.

- Ready?
- No. But do I have a choice?

- [JUSTIN] No.
- [BILLIE] Great.

[JUSTIN] Well, I mean,
you have free will

but how far is that gonna get ya?

[BILLIE] Not far enough.

[♪ GIRL SINGING SCORE]

♪ Can you feel it, now? ♪

♪ La la-la-la-la-la-la la ♪

♪ I wanna lay around ♪

♪ Up the energy... ♪

[VICTOR] Push through,
son. You can do it!

Feel the burn, bud. Let's go, let's go!

- [KILLIAN GRUNTS]
- Oh, God!

Still need to shave a
second off your freestyle

if you wanna b*at the quads
for Junior Lifeguard, son.

[KILLIAN] I'm just not feeling it today.

[VICTOR] Feelings aren't facts.

We push past them to
reach our full potential.

Hey. Your mom said you're missing Sara.

Why don't we invite her
up to watch you compete?

No. That's more pressure.

What if I lose? I don't
want her to see me choke.

Sara will support you, win or lose.

She stuck by your chronic ringworm.

Listen, our partners love
us at our best and our worst.

SO, HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS:

Vulnerability is the secret sexy, son.

Now, get back at her.

Let's go. C'mon!

Here. Have some.

- [BILLIE SIGHS]
- Thanks.

Breakfast kind of got
interrupted this morning.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Huh. Killian wants to
know if I've seen you.

Says he's been messaging.

Forgot to text him back.

Think he wants me to help him train

for lifeguard trials or something

but um, I'm hanging with Justin today.

Well, take Killian with you.

He's super into you.

And, if he keeps training,

my sisters will never win
Junior Lifeguard, which...

you know, means three
b*tches helping themselves

to my sativa all summer.

Uh...

I'm sorry. It's kind of, like,
a birth father-daughter thing.

What happened to the cottage's
vintage lumber camp vibes?

O-M-jeepers, I couldn't wait
to just gut the whole place.

Don't you just love our
new granite counter tops

and the coconut herringbone backsplash?

We wanted contemporary,
but we like hints of Tiki.

We thought, "We love fusion cuisine.

Why not try fusion design?"

So fun. It's so much to take in.

Took forever to finish, what
with four girls running around

while trying to buy out my
sister's half of the cottage.

- [JUSTIN] Yeah ...
- Thank God,

my nephew got kidnapped
while backpacking in Cartagena

so she needed to ransom him fast

because now we have our dream cottage!

- Yay!
- Yay.

Except for my party pontoon.

- Let it go, babe.
- Uh, what?

No, what happened to the party pontoon?

Maisy had the board vote against it.

- [GASPS]
- She didn't...

Oh, yeah. Said it was an eyesore.

Oh... I guess what the president wants,

the president gets.

That is weird, you guys.

That's so weird because Maisy's adding

a motorized dock to her property.

Oh. Well, um...

the wood's probably
organic or something.

Maisy always has a good reason.

Yeah, no, totally, totally, she does.

Always. But, it's just...

God, that's so strange she didn't say

- anything to you about it.
- [JAYNE] Right?

- Yes.
- We spent, like, hours

and hours discussing my reno.

She was the one who suggested
painting this accent wall

this sunny shade of highlighter.

[JUSTIN] Damn.

Just don't look at it too long.

You know...

You should run for
Boathouse Board president.

- [GIGGLES]
- I'm serious, Jayne,

you would have the power
to veto Maisy's dock.

Lovejoy is right.

I mean, you didn't
get your perfect reno.

Why should Maisy get hers?

But guys,

as outgoing V.P., wouldn't
this be, like, treason?

No, no. What? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Not treason, not treason.
Listen to me, Jayne. Okay?

The Boathouse presidency is your legacy.

Your great-grandfather founded
the Boathouse Fishing Club.

He banned women from joining
because of their tiny brains.

But your grandmother started the first

Boathouse barbecue committee.

She banned ethnic food
for its lustful properties.

I didn't try sushi for the first time

- until I was, like, .
- Okay, Jayne.

We're gonna lean away from the bigotry

and we're gonna lean into
the leadership. All right?

This is your chance,

your chance to set a great
example for your girls.

Do you want them to be the kind of women

who lock other women in the sh*t house?

We can turn this brown
upside-down, babe.

Come on, Jayne.

Where's the girl that
bullied me every summer?

Where's that hellcat I married, huh?

She's right here.

Get ready...

for the summer of Jayne!

- Mm!
- [LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY]

- Woo! Smoothies all 'round!
- [WAYNE] Yeah!

Woo! Pontoon!



- [SNIFFS]
- What is that smell?

I made up a quick
batch of pickled herring

from fish caught by my chickens.

I couldn't resist sneaking a bite.

- Mm? Mm?
- [MAISY] No.

No?

Chickens are very good fishermen.

On Orust Island in Sweden,

the chickens survive on fish guts

that they pull from the fish themselves.

They're much more independent than

their North American
cousins but my hens,

Sven and Lars, are quick learners.

[CHUCKLES]

Why don't we get started
on today's business?

[ULRIKA] Mm-hm.

If you could just sign
my term renewal papers,

then we can take a quick
vote on my renovation.

I really need to nail
down that contractor.

- [CLICK]
- Um.

Well, the deadline for
candidates to submit is, uh...

noon today.

I cannot sign it until then.

Well, if somebody else was gonna run,

they would have submitted by now.

I'm sorry. Protocol is important. Mm?

Right. I understand.

Seniors need their rituals,
it helps with the confusion.

We wait until noon.

[MAISY SIGHS]



Wait, I thought we were
going to Raven's Rock.

Yes. I just want to see
the look on Maisy's face

when Jayne announces that
she's running for president.

[BILLIE] How is this not

obsessing over Maisy and the cottage?

I'm gonna be five minutes.
I swear, just five minutes.

Dip your toes in the water.
It's nice and shallow.

It'll be like a little
warm up for Raven's Rock.

And, grab us a couple of
sandwiches from the canteen.

- Justin, I ...
- I love you, BRB.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[YAWN]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[LOW COUGHING]

Well, it doesn't look like
anyone else is gonna run

- so why don't we ...
- [DOOR CLATTER]

[♪ FERGIE: "M.I.L.F.$"]

♪ Heard you in the mood
for a little milkshake ♪


♪ Welcome to the Dairy
Duchess Love Factory ♪


♪ I could whip it up,
fix you up straight away ♪


♪ Come on in the front door,
leaving at the back door ♪


♪ Whip it, flip it, hey ♪

♪ Been working extra
service to give it to ya ♪


♪ Didn't mean to make you
nervous, you m*therf*cker ♪


♪ I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T ♪

♪ Do you know what that means? ♪

♪ Can't see me B-R-O-K-E ♪

♪ I'm P-A-I-D ♪

♪ You heard about me, I'm sayin' ♪

♪ You got that, you got that ♪

♪ You got that milk money ♪

♪ I got that, I got that,
I got that MILF money... ♪


I'd like to declare my candidacy

for Boat House president.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- [GASPS]
- Oh, my God!

You scared the sh*t out of me!

[KILLIAN LAUGHS]

Well, that's the idea.

Don't you love scary movies?

Slasher movies, not monster movies.

Noted. Hey, um, is your phone off?

I've been trying to text you
but it's been radio silence.

Uh... Yeah, I turned it off.

Someone told me to do nothing.

- Sweet.
- [LAUGHS]

No, it's just, um, I could
super use a swim coach

that's not drinking
the TED talk Kool-Aid.

[VICTOR] Killian!

Let's go, bud, come on! Pick it up!

I already promised Justin
I'd go swimming with him

at Raven's Rock.

Well, maybe we could go another time.

Let me know.

And, turn on your phone, you weirdo.

[SIGHS]

[SCOFFS]

Jayne, I had to beg you to be my V.P.

Where's this coming from?

Did something happen at Games Night?

You had a Games Night without us?

Because the last one you went to,

you f*cked Whoreen and
broke Mummy's heart.

Save it for your blog, Claire.

Jayne. What's going on?

Maisy, I love being your VP.

I love supporting you, listening to you.

I love you.

But, I want to follow
in my family's footsteps.

Wasn't theirs just a...

skosh r*cist, h*m* and misogynist?

Well, I want to follow
in their fun footsteps.

Their flip-flop steps.

There's so many rules at the lake now.

No noise, no tubing, no pontoons.

I want to bring fun back to the lake.

Fun is important,

and so is debate.

Both have been central to my presidency.

But your granny's idea of
fun was keeping Catholics

off the lake for being too fertile.

My cousins and I
were directly affected.

I... I just wanted to give
my girls a better example.

That's what every parent wants

and what every president
wants, to lead by example.

But sometimes, that
means following those

who set a better example.

Oh.

Yeah.

Thank you...

for reminding me how unfit I am to lead.

[WHISPERS] She's folding
like a f*ckin' lawn chair!

You're always there to help me.

- Mm...
- Guide me...

Hold me.

We will hold a town hall tonight

and then we can have the election then.

[WHISPERS] f*ck!

Everyone will have a chance to speak,

ask questions and then we
will vote by a show of hands.

May the best candidate win!

Oh, she will.

Bad move.

You woke the beast.

Please, tell Maisy I never meant...

Oh, no.

I meant me.



♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

[JUSTIN] Hey.

Okay, they only had the
Triple-Decker-Clubhouse.

I got a little bit of bad news.

I can't go with you to Raven's Rock.

I know. Jayne's about
to drop out of the race

and I gotta go give her a pep
talk and maybe an upper or two.

I'm sorry.

I am, but why don't you take Killian?

It'd be like rescuing a sad puppy.

What year old wants to
meditate with their father?

- In public.
- No, I already turned him down

because I was waiting for you.

And, I'd look completely unhinged, now,

- with this Hungry Man picnic.
- Okay, hear me out:

Taking Killian to Raven's Rock?

Perfect place to honeydick him.

It's private. It's secluded.

So, if he wants to make a move, oh yeah,

he's gonna make it there.

So, you're suggesting
I go to a completely

secluded place with a guy I just met?

Stellar parenting.

Look, Billie, if Jayne wins,

Maisy's reno's over.

We can save the family cottage.

Good luck with your gecko.

I'm out.

Well, Billie, wait.

Can I get a sandwich?

Like, even a half Decker, maybe?

I'm just feeling so hangry.

No, you're right. You're right.

Empty carbs are the enemy.

[SIGHS]

[UPBEAT ' S-INSPIRED BRIGHT POP PLAYS]

♪ I'm makin' my way downtown ♪

♪ Walking fast, faces
pass and I'm homebound ♪




♪ If I could fall into the sky ♪

- ♪ Do you think... ♪
- Whoa.


What was that about?

I couldn't take any more of my
dad's vulnerability coaching.

Don't let it tip!

Woah.

What was that about?

Lake water freaks me out.

[KILLIAN] Is that why
you didn't text me back?

Justin was taking me to
Raven's Rock to get over it.

Well, summer will suck if
you won't get in the water.

I'll take you to Raven's.

I do owe you one after
my sh*t locker freak out.

Cool.

I just have, like, one
teensy errand to run first.

[KNOCKING]

Hey.

You got Killian to stop training.

I knew I could count on you.

I'm only hanging out with him

for a couple of hours to honeydick him.

Do you mean "honeypot"?

Using your lady wiles to set a trap?

Honeypot!

That makes a lot more sense.

All these Triple Deckers
are yours if you help me.

- What do you need?
- I need a cute skirt

and a drive-by glow up.

And I've only got, like, a few minutes.

Just don't touch the hair.

Killian?

Killian!

Was our wood stain Cherry
Pop or a Walnut Brûlée?

Got the warehouse on hold.

The vision board's in
Michael Bassbender, hun.

Ah.

I pushed Killian too far.

He snuck off during
my guided meditation.

Oh, well, of course he did.

What teenager wants to meditate?

Can you believe that Jayne
is running for president?

I need you to sign some
hockey crap for Whoreen

just to win her over.

She might vote for you if
you stop calling her Whoreen.

I checked on Michael Bassbender

but the vision board's gone.

Well, who was in the office last?

We were all in there
cleaning up after Games Night.

Sardines.

Justin!

Justin must have found it.

He convinced Jayne to run.

Her T-shirt reeked of
gay make-over montage.

Barry, I'll call you back.

We've got a situation.

My bedazzler better not be missing.

What happens to our building
permits if Jayne wins?

It's okay. It's okay.

I just need to take Justin out.

Without him, her campaign crumbles.

I'll get the dustpan.

- [KNOCKS]
- C'mon, babe.

[JAYNE'S VOICE QUIVERING]
Why'd you make me do it?

Maisy's an amazing president.

She's smart. She's organized.

She's beautiful. She's strong.

You're strong, too, babe!

Jayne okay?

No, she locked herself in the bathroom.

- [POUNDING]
- Jayne, come on.

Unlock the door.

[JAYNE] It got stuck when I slammed it

- but it's what I deserve.
- No.

[JAYNE] I should just stay in
here until the election's over.

- No.
- Looks like you could use

a little blunt force.

- For sure, yeah.
- Yeah.

Maisy's been sending board members

crying to the washroom for years.

- Here. Hold this for me?
- Yeah, of course.


You gotta pound it hard.

Or we could work up to it
with a lot of eye contact.

- [JAYNE SOBBING]
- [LOUD POUNDING]

Some sick delts, there, Rile.

What do you bench, bro?

- [LOUD THUD]
- [RILEY] Woah.

[SOBBING]

[JUSTIN] Oh...

Hey, hey, buddy.



I'm sorry, Justin. I can't.

Oh, man. But what about
the summer of Jayne?

Remember? Summer of Jayne?

[SOBBING]

[WAYNE] And our pontoon.

Oh, f*ck your pontoon, Wayne!

Hey, I... I know where Maisy
keeps the gluten-free donuts.

They taste like sand,
but they're frosted.

Okay.

You want some sand?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay. Go get some sand.

Okay.

[JAYNE SNIFFLING]

- [WAYNE] It's our pontoon.
- [JAYNE] No.

sh*t.

sh*t, Wayne.

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.

Wayne.

- Hello.
- Sometimes...

ya gotta use a little blunt force.

Do you know what two J's make, Wayne?

Jjj. Jj-Jj.

No.

[UPBEAT CLASSIC ROCK PLAYS]

Wh... Wh. Wayne?

Wayne.

Get ready for the summer of Wayne!

- Summer of Wayne!
- Summer of Wayne!

[JUSTIN] Summer of Wayne!



- [SLAP]
- Oh, wow!

Summer of Wayne!

- That feels dislocated.
- [WAYNE BELCHES]

[LAKE RIPPLING]

Okay.

[NOTIFICATION SOUNDS]

What?

Nothing.

You look nice.

I just hope Olive's okay with you

getting her clothes a bit dirty.

[NOTIFICATIONS SOUND]

That's a lot of texts.

Do you need to call?

It's all good.

Hm.

So is this where you k*ll me?

This is the path to Raven's Rock.

That's where I k*ll you.

Well, I did want to go on a
hike today, so I'll risk it.

You're gonna love this one.

Come on.

[STRINGS PLAY]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[MAN] Hey guys, how are you?

...Trying to hold on to
whatever we possibly can

but history alive, here,
we get these people...

Excuse me.

You stole my vision
board on Games Night.

And, I can appreciate that you may

be experiencing feelings about my reno

but forcing a woman with
seasonal affective disorder

to run is just cruel.

Jayne dropped out.

Oh, well, who's running?

- Oh.
- [CHUCKLES]

Let's run a clean campaign
and leave the kids out of this.

They didn't choose this life.

- We did.
- [MAISY] Mm...

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

He used to rub your bathing
suit with poison ivy.

- Remember that.
- I...

Had forgotten.

- Yes.
- Oh, hi.

Justin Lovejoy, simple cottage renter.

Uh, when faced with new construction

and renovation on the lake,

how do you plan to ensure
lake heritage is preserved?

I will start a committee to make sure

that development and renovations

on the lake are controlled.

- [CHEERING]
- Woo! Good point, babe,

That's... That's what you want.

That's the thing you want.

I would argue that
development is a good thing.

It ups property value
which benefits us all.

- [MAN] Boo!
- [CLAPPING]

So true.

What if we get priced out?

Of course, I mean, modest
renovations and general upkeep.

People need to stop
painting deckchairs scarlet.

It's triggering.

So, is adultery.

If elected, I will stop Maisy's embargo

on party pontoons and tubing hours.

Wayne Moore guarantee!

[CLAPPING]

The Boathouse's decision
to limit certain watercraft

is very much on par with
other lakes in the area.

[LIGHT CLAPPING]

Which we all appreciate.

Skin this flawless requires eight hours

of uninterrupted sleep.

What are you gonna do
about the wild boars?

[MUTTERING]

A pack was spotted at Newmarket.

[WAYNE CHUCKLES]

Boars.

- For real?
- Yeah.

[WOMAN] They ate a poodle.

Newmarket is, what, kilometres away?

Can boars drive?

Ignoring the thr*at won't stop them.

Unless it will.

[LOUD CHATTERING]

[LOUD CHATTERING]

[SHARP STRINGS PLAY]

There are many ways to
deal with invasive species

but yelling isn't one of them!

Why don't we take minutes

and then we can share
our closing statements

and then vote?

- Ulrika?
- Mm-hm.

Can I talk to you for a second?

[ULRIKA] Mm.

Mm-hm. Yeah.



[PANTING]

[QUIETLY] Oh, my God.

- Oh.
- This is one of

my favourite places on the lake.

Oh, cool. We should get a pic, then.

Yeah.

Here, I'll do it.

I got the reach.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPPING]

Get the water.

Cool.

- Here you go.
- And you're cool if I...

I post this pic?

Yeah, it's a good one.

- [CHUCKLES]
- And you're cool

with me tagging you, right? Like, so...

- all our friends can see?
- Yeah.

All right. Uh, I'm doing it.

Now.

[KILLIAN] Ready to jump?

[BILLIE] Come again?

The best way to get into the water

is to jump off Raven's Rock.



Ah.

You know that if Wayne wins,

the lake goes full frat house,

or was that your fantasy all along?

Not since I was .

And you should have thought of that

before you scared Jayne away.

There's a reason that Jayne is my VP.

She cannot handle the power plays.

Oh, bullshit.

Jayne taught you
everything that you know.

Her yearbook w*nk*ng
play was iconic bullying.

Oh. Sweetie, that was me.

I just let Jayne take the fall.

Anyway, I did it for
you. Your dad thought

you were straight for,
like, two more years.

You may have stolen his
love and my childhood bedroom

but I am not some fat
kid locked in your trunk

at a Smash Mouth concert anymore.

I will not let you
destroy my family legacy.

My trunk is sealed now.

[WHISPERS] Airtight.

[BILLIE] Uh...

You know, I'm good.

I'm, like, totally fine with
just staying up here, forever.

Okay, well, the jump's
scarier than the water.

Yeah, that's not helping.

[PANTING]

[KILLIAN] Here.

Ah-ha! Honeydicked you!

Honey-what?

It's where you set up
a trap using your...

lady... d*ck... wiles.

I'm... I'm just trying to
help you get in the water.

Yeah, he helps me tilt.

You make s'mores. You take me hiking.

How's Sara going to feel about this?

Uh, Sara, honestly, she wouldn't care.

If I were your girlfriend,
I'd care a sh*t ton.

Sara's into girls.

Our parents are best friends

and they've been stanning
us since we were in diapers.

But, Sara came out to me this year

and I agreed to keep
saying we were a thing until

she came out to her parents.

So, you're just this, like, really cool,

really decent guy who wants to help me?

You think I'm cool?

[CHUCKLES]

Hold this.

[SCREAMING]

[LOUD SPLASH]

Maiser! He's doing it.
Killian's finally facing

his fears and jumping off
Raven's Rock with Billie!

What? They're jumping
off of Raven's Rock?

I was just gonna take her there to swim.

Only the Patterson
girl broke her leg there

when she was jumping
off and the water levels

went down. She almost drowned.

That was because she was swimming back

with a broken leg. Come on.

sh*t. She's not answering her phone.

You guys go. I'll stay with Opal.

And don't worry about
Wayne. He's a big boy.

He can manage without
his campaign manager.

- Now, where'd I dock my boat.
- Ugh...

Well, I can take you
to the Rock on my boat.

- Sweet.
- Please tell me that

you're hiding a Victorian
doll collection at home

because I'm very sexually conflicted

by your big masc for masc energy.

- Yes.
- [JUSTIN] Okay.

[UPBEAT CLASSIC ROCK PLAYS]

♪ I'm gonna run to you ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm gonna run to you! ♪

- [SCREAMING]
- [JUSTIN] sh*t!

Billie! Billie!

Billie! Oh, sh*t.

[LAUGHS]

What the f*ck? Are you okay?

I'm fine. This is my third jump.

You conquered your fear of lake water.

Ya did it because of me!

Nope.

Because of him.

Woo!

[VICTOR] Yes! That's my boy!

Woo!

- You good?
- No.

Just a little longer.

[KILLIAN] Nice jump.

[BILLIE LAUGHS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Oh, my God, what happened? Who won?

The candidate for the job.

Wayne! Hey, congratulations.

How does it feel to be President?

You'll have to ask Ulrika.

Yeah. I mean, she had the
better wild boar policy.

I think. I checked out for a bit.

Hm. I'm gonna grab pop.

[MAISY] Well, as my grandma used to say,

- "There's always... "
- Maiser.

Ulrika is president?

I asked her to take my
place. I was losing the crowd.

- I had to pivot.
- But what if

she veto's our renos like
you vetoed Jayne's dock?

Oh man, is...

Is this what failure feels like?

Did Brené lie?

No, relax.

Trust me, I got this.

- Ooh.
- Uh, thank you.

I promise to protect the environment

and keep the lake safe from boars.

The only wild pigs welcome here

will be on our spits and in our bellies!

[CHEERING]

- You're welcome.
- Yeah.

Thank you. Yes. Mm-hm.

All right. Not a bad day.

Ulrika will put Maisy's demo on slo-mo

and Killian's girlfriend is into girls.

And, I only had to completely
humiliate myself to find out!

Oh yes, but no more fear
of what lies beneath.

- She's a lake baby, now.
- You only had

to stand me up twice for it to happen.

Did you just break into our cabin?

No... The door was open.

I thought I'd just pop
by and grab my battleship.

I really hope it's all here.

It's so frustrating
playing with missing pieces.

Yeah. Gotta watch out
for that submarine.

Sneak att*ck under the water.

I prefer the aircraft carrier.

I like big g*ns.

Oh, she is sweating.

If Ulrika delays her reno long enough,

she's gonna lose all of her deposits.

She could be off the lake a
lot sooner than we'd hoped.

Which means Killian's gone, too.

Well then, you better make a move fast

'cause summer romance
ain't meant to last.

[SIGHS]

- Look at what mommy found...
- My vision board.

- Finally.
- [MAISY] You might want

to check it's all there.
Justin really loves swatches.

Oh, Barry at the warehouse

says they're discontinuing
Walnut Brûlée.

Well, call him and tell him we'll take

- everything that's left.
- Maybe we should wait.

I mean, what if Ulrika

doesn't let us build our new cottage?

No. No, sweetie.

Mommy's gonna brûlée
this baby to the ground.

[♪ FRANÇOISE HARDY:
"LE TEMPS DES SOUVENIRS]

♪ Sha la la la la la la ♪

♪ Sha la la la la la la ♪

♪ Je sais qu'un jour,
je vivrai sans toi ♪


♪ Le temps des souvenirs ♪

♪ Car je le vois venir déjà ♪

♪ Le temps des souvenirs ♪

♪ Toi, tu seras parti,
tu vivras ta vie ♪


♪ Je serai seule à presque en mourir ♪

♪ Au temps ♪

♪ Des souvenirs ♪

♪ Sha la la la, sha la la la ♪

♪ Sha la la la la la la ♪
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