02x01 - Don't You Want Me

[bunniefuu]

Okay. Let's try this one more time.

Hi. Yeah. Sheila Rubin's the name.

You've already heard of me?
You're kidding.

I had no idea anyone knew who I was.

How embarrassing.

I'm just a fitness instructor,
but I love what I do.

The dress? I've had it forever.

It's actually... It's really comfortable.
It's this piece I...

Just a second.

All right, can't hide in here all night.

Time to get out there. Give it a spin.

Tits up, wrap off.

That's it. You got this.

Keep those shoulders back.

Okay. Showtime.

Get a good look, honey?

Doesn't look like anyone here
is much of a thr*at.

Not that there's much competition here.

It's San Diego, not Paris. But still.

Let's go.

Of course he wants to leave.
It's not his party.

He can give you two minutes.
You gave him the last 20 years.

- Hors d'oeuvres?
- No, thank you.

Good girl. Stay hungry.
Stay focused. There he is.

Hey.

You gotta meet the newest horse
in the Stahl/Grunner stable.

And a filly at that.

Keep it up. You need him.

Delighted to introduce you
to some of your compatriots.

We got Ronald Becker

with the blockbuster real estate course,
50 Days to Financial Freedom,

Rocco St. Vincent with Back Pain No More,

and Sandy Pitosky, who's a double thr*at,

with Gardening Made Simple
and Food Dehydration For Beginners.

God, I thought women were boring.

Gentlemen, allow me to present
the titular body behind Body By Sheila,

- Sheila Rubin.
- Nice to meet you all.

That is a dynamite-looking outfit
you got there.

What's that color?

- Rubber ducky?
- Yellow.

Auggie, well, I'd love to find a time
to bend your ear about

- the marketing campaign for the launch.
- Auggie!

- Great. Yeah, we'll set a time for that.
- Auggie!

Hey, Robbie-boy. Hey.

Enjoy.

Auggie's in acquisitions.

Once he has you on the hook,
it's on to the next big fish.

Food dehydration?

Yeah. I sold 20,000 units
in Q3 of last year, so…

Don't knock it till you dried it.

- Let's go.
- Two more questions for you.

What are you up to next Tuesday?
And do you like steak tartare?

No. Thank you.

Stay lean. Eyes on the prize.

We're not there yet.

I know it wasn't the most exciting way
for you to spend the evening, but...

Yeah, well, that is putting it mildly
because that was a world-class bummer.

I thought I'd met some ignorant,
tedious folks in my day,

but it turns out
I hadn't even scratched the surface.

Well, it wasn't easy for me
all those years,

- going to your academic events.
- Yeah.

But I did it for you.

Yeah. And I appreciated it.

Right? Didn't I?

He doesn't need an answer to that.

I was talking to one of 'em,
trying to make conversation,

and she says to me,
"I used to be a Democrat."

And I said, "Yeah? What happened?"

And she just shrugged.
Just shrugged and laughed.

Like it's a f*cking joke
that she just gave up

and decided to just float
with the current.

Like it's funny that we have a actor,
an impostor, as a president.

Not yet.

You know, people thought
Idi Amin was a joke,

till he started sh**ting people
in the street.

And then guess what?
Surprise, surprise. Not that funny.

It's just a little longer.

Not that I expected that they would know
what's going on in Uganda.

They don't know what's going on
in their own backyard.

- Deregulation by the oil industry…
- You're close.

- Just a little longer.
- …drilling, drought, devastation.

The likes of which
their tiny little brains

couldn't even begin to contemplate.

When you're on solid ground…

Absolutely un-f*cking-real.

- Jesus. Jesus!
- sh*t.

- Watch the road.
- Really? What are you doing?

- We hit a bump. I'm sorry.
- No, you're not.

- Easy. Easy.
- Yes, I am, all right?

I am very tense right now.

That party wasn't easy for me.

I'm still processing
the loss of the election.

And to show up and find out
that the community has turned its back...

Not on me, 'cause it's not about me,

but turned its back on
the values that I stand for.

It's painful. That's what it is.

It's very painful.

I hate you!

I hate you!

- Excuse me?
- I hate you, like, so much right now

with my whole self. I...

I just... I hate your guts.

All right. I don't know
if you're trying to be funny...

- I'm not.
- Okay.

I'm so sick of your sh*t.

You're in a mood. I get it.

No, you don't get it.
You don't get it at all.

Yep. I don't get it.

Hello? Are you coming?

No.

Sheila, the babysitter's up there,
all right?

I don't really know how to talk to her,
and I've had some drinks.

We both said some things.
Let's just go to bed.

We'll talk about it in the morning,
all right? Come on.

Sheila, let's go.

There you go.

No. Sheila.

Sheila, get out of the limo.

- Driver, you can go. Thank you.
- No. No.

Hello. Hello!

All right. Where the f*ck do you go now?

f*cking great.

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All you have to do is make the call today.

Hey, are you awake? Sorry.

I didn't know if you were up or not.
Are you up?

Yes. Now you are.

And I made you some coffee.

Actually, it made itself. It's on a timer.

Ernie and his gadgets.

Well, anyway, I thought we could talk.

If you are ready, and if not,
it's totally okay too.

Just... Are you okay?

Because when you got here last night,
you didn't seem okay.

But I don't wanna pry. So...

No. Thank you for the coffee.

And thank you for letting me stay
here in your guesthouse.

I just needed some time to myself.

Yeah, of course. It's no bother at all.
It's actually a total pleasure.

So, it's yours as long as you need it.

And it's none of my business. So...

But I'm here if you need to talk,

and I promise I won't say anything
and I will just listen.

I just needed some...

- Space.
- Time.

- You know, to think about my life.
- Marriage, with Danny.

Yep, Sheil, we've been waiting for this
ever since the election.

And it has been so hard watching you

and knowing that you are so unhappy,
and feeling so trapped, and...

No, shush.

It's just that now is like
the perfect time to leave him, you know?

And I know, I know,
"Greta, it's never the perfect time,"

with Maya and all that stuff, but...

Come on, you are getting out there
professionally, and...

I'm not ready to leave him yet.

I will, soon. But not yet.

Yeah, of course. I'm sorry.

Right. But if you need a lawyer,
Ernie knows like a half a dozen.

And one of them's a lady.
And she's a total dragon.

So whenever you are ready, I'm here.
Co-captain of the SS Divorce.

You know,
what I really need is a ride home.

And maybe some Sweet'N Low?

Oh, my gosh, yeah. Totally not a problem.

And you know what?

You look so freaking cute
in my college shirt.

- You should keep it. I'm giving it to you.
- Thank you. It's cozy.

It's yours. I love you.

- No, I... I don't mean it like...
- I know. I know.

Yeah, I just believe in you.
Like, I really do.

And… I'm gonna get you some Sweet'N Low.

- Thank you.
- So, just... You relax. Okay.

It wasn't the plan, but here we are.

You opened the door.
Now we walk through it.

We tell him what we want, what we need.

We don't back down, for once. We say it.

g*dd*mn.

- sh*t. Hey.
- Hi.

Hi, Mama. We're having breakfast.

Sweetie, you're up early.

Daddy made pancake.

Yeah, and Mommy is back from her meeting.

Wow.

They're so good. Have one.

I will in a second, sweetie.

Just need to have a quick talk with Daddy.

Okay.

Yeah, did you want coffee first?
I put a pot on.

I need to talk to you.

Okay.

Say it. How you feel, what you need.

I didn't mean to blurt
all those things out last night.

- Don't apologize.
- I wasn't going to.

But we need to find a time
to sit down and...

You don't need to because
you were right to say those things.

I heard you. And I hear you.

- But I haven't even told you what...
- You need to see a change in me.

And that's exactly what you're going
to see 'cause, babe…

I've been a jerk.

Why? 'Cause I was allowed to be.

By a cruel and unfair
male chauvinist system

that, yes, I actively participated in.

But that stops now.
Starting today, I'm gonna do my part.

I'm gonna pick up the slack for my gender.

Whatever it takes. The cooking,
the cleaning, Maya's school sh*t.

I'm setting you free.

I want you to go out there,
and I want you to promote your film.

- It's a videotape.
- Whatever it is.

It's your turn to be the breadwinner.
It's my turn to slice it up and toast it.

But I don't want you
to take my word for it, okay?

I'm gonna prove it to you.
I wanna walk the walk.

And I'm gonna show you that I can change.

If you just give me a chance.

You've got to. Can you do that?

Can you just give me a chance
to show you that I can change,

- and I can grow, and I can evolve, please?
- I...

Unless, of course,
there's someone else, then...

Is it? Is it someone else?

No. I…

- Okay.
- Okay?

Babe. Babe.

sh*t.

Thank you, dear.

Two more.

I think it's time for a break.

It's gotta be enough blankets.

Still need to check the expiration
on the canned goods.

And test the gas masks.

But you must be exhausted.
I can handle this.

That would be good for me. For us.

But can you stop soon, too?

I know you wanna be ready for the baby...

Not just the baby.

For whatever the heavenly father
and his wisdom has in store.

I... I'm worried about you.

You've been working so hard.

Doing double duty at work
and then with the church.

I don't mind being of service.

I just wanna make sure
that it's not too much for you,

that you don't have something to prove.

Certainly not to me.

Why don't you head up to the kitchen?
Have some lemonade.

I'll be with you when I'm ready.

Of course.

Bend the knees…

Shoulders back, smile.
Give 'em some tits and teeth.

We're up against cheese cubes.
This shouldn't be too tough.

Hi!

That's me. I'm her.

Are you interested
in hearing more about the tape?

No? Okay.

So we take it down a few clicks.
We don't wanna scare people.

Hi, are you interested in fitness?

Nope, just cheese. Good to know.

Hey, Kevin. It's Kevin, right?

Kev, whatev.

Kev, would you mind telling me
what that device you're holding is about?

I guess it keeps track of engagement.

Like stops and buys.

And how much engagement
am I expected to have?

Dad just told me to count.

Dad? So Auggie is your dad?

I wanted a desk job, at first.

But he said it would be good
to just get out there.

Great. You're officially on the B-team.

If I buy this, will I look like you?

Well, I don't know. Do you want to?
Do you wanna look like me?

No, I mean... I was joking.

Are you sure?
Because men can use aerobic exercise too.

And in the privacy of your own home,

on your VCR,
you can do or be whatever you want.

What about you?

Do you wanna get fit?
Or maybe your wife does?

- I don't have a wife.
- Well, not yet.

Why don't you take this home
and give it a try?

I promise you,
you will see results within weeks.

It's a heart-pumping workout for 9.95,
and it is a lot of fun.

Yeah, no, sure, here you go.

Thank you.

Okay.

Here we go. Going to school.

All right.

Look at that.

Tire swing.

Perfect playground toy.

Can't improve on it
because it's already perfect.

Simple, pure, circular, eternal.

And cubbies, come on.

Why don't adults have these?
You know, little space to call your own.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Hey. Would you like some pumpkin bread?

Are you kidding? Yeah, I'd love some.

- I made it fresh this morning.
- This morning?

That's not pumpkin bread.
That is a slice of heaven.

- I'm gonna need that recipe.
- Sure.

So, what? Daddy's day off work?

Well, a little more than just a day.

Sorta taking over on the home front
while the wife heads to work,

and I'm loving it. Yeah.

Get a little more time with Maya.

Such a special kid.
She said the funniest thing this morning.

Hey, Greta, get in here.
You wanna hear this.

I was saying Maya was funny this morning.

Yeah, all kids are funny to their parents.

Maybe not so much to everybody else.

Did I do something to you, Greta?

To me? No.

Look, I'm new to the game, obviously,
but I am ready to listen and learn.

You know what? You should sign up
for the outreach committee with me.

It's a lot of work and nobody notices.

Unless you mess up,
and then they really come for you.

Right, Wanda?

- Yeah.
- Were you going to get coffee?

- Were you going, or...
- Was I g... Sure.

That's amazing. Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- Yeah.

So, you want me to sign you up?
The meetings are twice a week.

- Did you say twice?
- You all right?

- Twice a week?
- Yes. Two times.

Great, yeah. That sounds fun.

Sign me up.

- Thank you. Bye.
- Enjoy.

So, I guess that's lunch?

I don't mind keeping going.

Till noon, say?
Foot traffic is still strong.

We eat lunch at noon, not before.

It's just I'm kinda hungry though.

And I saw a Chinese place
across the street that looked all right.

You wanna check it out?

We've just had the peach and the yogurt,

- so there's no lunch. Not yet.
- No.

Or I can pick you up
something to go if you want?

A tsunami of salt and fat
to curdle inside you

- for the rest of the day?
- No, thank you, but you enjoy.

Okay.

And maybe you could take a break too.
I mean, you earned it.

- Says the lazy boss's son.
- Yep, will do.

That's it. Keep it up girls.

Boys too. Pump those arms. Pump them.

You gotta move it
if you wanna f*cking groove it.

sh*t. We can bleep that, right, babe?

Yep, no doubt. Keep on rolling.

Keep that side-to-side motion going.

That's where it's at.

You feel that energy?

That long line from the wheels
to the crown, baby.

That's the Roller BOD magic.

It's a full-body workout.
No harsh bumping and jumping here.

This right here is the steady groove.
You got it!

Let's get ready for crossovers.

This is an advanced move,
so just join me when you're ready.

No rushing here.

In four, three, two, and one!

sh*t, babe. Are you okay?

Dude.

Dude. I'm cool.

I'm just gonna have to have a soft ten.
Gotta re-rig.

It's not working.
I still f*cking hate her.

I hate her. I hate her for stealing
from me and getting us evicted.

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey.

Bun, hey. What do we say
about that anger of yours?

That I should use it
to go burn her house down.

Kidding.

That it's bad vibes.

Super bad vibes!

It's hard, though, to believe again.

I had my dream,
and she f*cking snatched it.

And now you have a radder one.

What if this one isn't radder?

It is, and it's ours.

So why don't you get me the duct tape?

I'll have this rigged up
and rolling in ten, babe.

Oh, man, this thing is
way worse than I thought.

I don't know, won't I sweat?

Yes, but it feels good. It's a release.

Won't I get big muscles?

Not necessarily.

My husband doesn't
want me getting big muscles.

- I don't have big muscles.
- I don't think.

But I do have muscle tone.

Do you know where the setting powder is?

I do not.

- Is it for kids?
- It's for you.

I don't have time for me anymore.

Well, that's the beauty
of working out at home,

is that you can do it
while the kids are napping.

That's when I clean the house.

But when do you make time for your needs?

- I do everything.
- Your body.

- Now I'm supposed to work out too?
- I find it invigorating.

I feel so much better afterwards,
like I could conquer the world.

I'm just trying to get through my day.

Three, four…

Four, three, two, one. Take it…

When Sheila and I met,
she was the ambitious one.

She was the one with all the hopes
and dreams for the future.

Then came the compromise.

First, she moves here for my job,
then the baby.

She's enrolled and dropped out of
three different graduate programs for me.

You know, for all my years of talking
about wage theft and workers' rights...

You know, studying Che and Chávez.

What about women?

What about their sweat
and their sacrifice?

Are they not entitled to pursue
a little bit of the elusive American dream

like you and I?

Well, Jerry, that's not possible
unless men, like you and I, step it up.

Lift the yoke of domestic sl*very
from their necks.

And that's just what I intend to do.

So that's the speech?

- I mean, yes. It's not a speech.
- Okay.

- I'm just...
- Gotcha.

So, I have a question for ya.

- Is this bullshit?
- What?

- All these ideas we've been cooking up…
- What are you doing?

- Jerry, stop.
- …for the past few months.

Do you actually care about any of this?

That's more than one question, okay?

You know what I'm asking you, buddy.

Is our think t*nk real,
or is it just some sorta consolation prize

for your wounded ego
after losing the election?

Okay, yes, it's real.

- But so is my family.
- There it is, there it is.

And my marriage, okay?

Marriage?

To the woman who abandoned you
on election night.

- She has her difficulties, yeah.
- Yeah.

And sometimes, she needs her space,
but she always comes back.

So far, at least.

But who knows where this
Jazzercise highway is gonna take her?

Maybe next time she pulls a runner,
it'll be for good.

Jerry, with all due respect,

I'm not exactly coming to you
for advice on long-term relationships.

That's hurtful, but fair.

- It's the truth.
- Yeah.

Jerry, f*ck, man. Look, hey, stop.

- Stop.
- These are mine.

I'm not talking about walking away
from our goals here.

Yes, you are.

I'm talking about spending more time
with my kid.

Having a more flexible schedule, okay?

You and I,
we can still accomplish anything.

I could've taken off too,
but I stuck around.

I kept believing in you.

Really?
Did you have a lot of options, Jerry?

sh*t.

Were there a lot of people out there
inviting you to come over

and... and park your van in their driveway
for an indefinite period of time?

I had options, okay?

Back home,
I had one very real and serious option.

sh*t, man, I don't want to fight with you.

I also don't wanna see you give up,
sell out, compromise...

Don't ask me to choose
between you and my family.

Okay. No, I hear ya.

Loud and m*therf*cking clear.

Look, I'm not saying
that I know more than you, man.

I'm just saying
women are f*cking mysterious.

All of 'em. Not just her.

All of 'em.

Take care, brother.

Couple caveats. Color and sound are rough.
Edits are crude as hell.

Just show me the f*cking footage.

But when all's said and done,
you're gonna be like, "Sheila who?"

And, "That name doesn't ring
a single f*cking bell.

Did I, like, go to
school with her, or... ".

- Can you just play the tape?
- Okay.

And hurry up. I'm, like, dying here.
This couch is, like, filled with sand.

Dude, I keep telling dudes,
"You gotta use the outdoor shower."

It's a hose.

It's got a spray setting. You ready?

Here we go.

Keep that side-to-side motion going.

- That's where it's at.
- Howdy.

- You feel that energy?
- Oh, my God.

- That long line from the wheels…
- You look so good, babe.

Oh, no.

Cakes! Turk! Pablo!

Which one of you douche knuckles
f*cked with our tape?

Sup?

What happened to our tape, dude?

No idea. I'm a vinyl guy.

Yo, have you seen the lice shampoo?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, we all got lice and crabs again.

f*ck! f*ck!

Bro.

Dude.

- Yep. Yep.
- I don't know. Okay.

Not bad.

- I told you you'd love it.
- Come on.

- You're not gonna have one piece of sushi?
- Come on, why not?

Because I'm not a f*cking dolphin, mainly.

Sorry, sweetie. I mean, do what you want.

Obviously you don't need my permission.

Thank you. I plan to.

Hey, it was really nice
of you guys to still come.

Still?

No. We just...

We made these plans a long time ago
before you...

It's just so nice to all be together.
That's all.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Right.

So, tell us about this tape of yours,
Sheila.

Sounds like this production outfit
you're with...

Stahl/Grunner.

Yes. Sounds like they have you
out there making the rounds.

Yes, I didn't realize how much of
the sales aspect would be on… me.

It's all sales, whatever you're doing.

Polyurethane compounds. Fitness.

Politics.

Well, I don't really see it like that.
I mean...

I mean, if they got resources behind you,
which they do,

I mean, it means that
they have confidence.

Yeah. They know a good thing
when they see it.

Yeah.

I think they're being a little general
in their approach.

I mean, they sent me to all these places
that women are, but...

I mean, the grocery store, the salon...

- It's where women get their chores done.
- Right.

They're not in the mood to shop.

Honestly, that's the genius of the mall.

It makes shopping feel like a luxury.

Instead of one more thing
you have to check off your list.

That's just an observation.

Well, it's a good one, right?

- Yeah.
- Right.

People pay Harvard consultants
for a lot less.

Now, what about you, Danny?

How's this all going for you?
Got any extra help at home?

Yeah, me.

I am the extra help at home.

And I'm enjoying it.

It's creative and interesting.

And, you know, I think it's about time
that I showed this lady right here

that I can evolve.

Hope everyone saved room for dessert.
Magda made her flan.

- I hope it likes you.
- It's, "I hope you like it."

Lo siento.

Qué rico. I can't wait to enjoy it.

Oh, you still speak very well.

I will never forget how impressed
we all were when you came to Mexico.

This gringo! So fluent, so tall!
The handsome Missionary.

Oh, stop. You're embarrassing me.
That was a long time ago.

We don't wanna bore
the kids with our old stories.

I'm not bored.
We love your stories, Aunt Magda.

You know the one about the
first time your father tried a Tamale...

We speak English in this house.

Sorry.

Okay, folks. I know how you're feeling.

I'm feeling it too.
You're feeling pushed to the limit.

You're ready to give up on yourself.

Well, I'm here to tell you something.
Right here, right now.

You don't need to believe in yourself,
okay?

I'm gonna do that for you.

I'm gonna give you that confidence
and that energy to keep pushing through.

And swing.

Two, three, four.

Put your trust in me. Follow my lead.

Don't look in my eyes. Look in yours.

Find you.
Only you have the power to change you.

It may not be today.
It may not be tomorrow.

But mark my words,
you are gonna feel that change.

You are gonna feel that power.

And you are gonna feel that pride,
knowing that you hung in there.

You stuck it out. You saw it through.

You with me? I can't hear you.

I want you to say it. Are you with me?

Babe.

You like that?

You gotta tell me, okay?

I can't do it better for you
unless you tell me what you like.

That's it. You can do this.

Don't give up yet.

Follow me one more time.

I promise this is it. You can do it.

Just one more time.

And then it's over. And you're done.

In five, four, three, two,

and… here we go.