01x04 - The Mother

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Baby". Aired: April 24, 2022 - present.*
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Natasha's closest friends are all having babies and then her life takes an unexpected turn when she ends up with a baby of her own.
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01x04 - The Mother

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Mr. Boop, Mr. Boop ♪

♪ Little feet go boopy boop ♪

♪ Boopy, boopy, boopy ♪

Oh, hello.
Sorry, uh.

Decaf oat milk
flat white, please.

- Thanks.
- Your baby's well cute.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh, uh, and one
of those, please.

-Yeah, sure.
Thanks.

Where is she?

What? No.

You tell me where she is.

Do you do this on purpose
'cause, honestly, I can't tell.

Excuse me?

We are meant to be on stage

in 45 minutes for
the "Illusionists" audition,

- and she won't pick up her phone.
- Yeah?

Well, she's just taken
a baby from my flat.

- She's gone West!
- What do you expect?

You appear out of nowhere
with an elderly girlfriend,

dangle a baby in front of her,

and then disappear without
a word of explanation.

And now I'm somehow
meant to perform

the Assistant's Revenge trick

without a f*cking assistant!

She's skiving your audition.

Maybe it's 'cause she's
finally got wind of the fact

that you're just usin' her to
get your spandexed arse paid.

Good luck getting the producer

to put your sparkly
cameltoe on a poster.

- Yeah, f*ck you.
- f*ck you!

f*ck you!

♪ Into my head, ooh ♪

Pick up, Bobbi! Where are you?

What you playing
at? Call me back, now!

"Gone to Mum's...

bumblebee, love-heart,
rainbow, sh**ting-star"?

Bobbi!

Welcome to Jupiter House!

We're going to have so much fun.

Wanna see my favorite spot?

I know exactly what
Bobbi's playing at.

We go in, we get the
baby, and we leave.

I'm not saying one
word to that woman.

When did you last
see your mother?

My gran's funeral,
about 15 years ago.

She tried to lead
a gratitude circle,

and I told her
she's a narcissist.

She lives in this whack commune.

The whole place smells of
nag champa and chicken sh*t.

Okay...

Oh!

Bobbi, I swear to god,
I'm gonna f*cking k*ll her.

What if he tries to hurt her?

Should've k*lled him
when you had a chance.

He's trying to send
you a message.

Hmm?

What message?

sh*t. I know where they are.

Bobbi!

Bobbi!

Sorry... went down
the wrong way.

What the f*ck...
were you thinkin'?

You said I could help.

A-And you seemed
a bit s-stressed.

And you thought

coming here...

was the solution to that?

Well... I thought it
could be good for you,

and Mum hasn't met him yet.

This is the last
place I need to be.

Natasha, slow down.

Natasha... s-stop
running away from me.

I'm worried about you.

I, I, I just want to
know that you're okay.

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

No, you're not.
You're terrified.

Something's really
wrong. Just... talk to me.

He's not my baby.

He fell off a cliff...
and I caught him.

And now, I can't get rid of him.

He's dangerous, Bob.

And if you try and
take him... he'll k*ll you.

I'd, I'd forgotten
how mean you are.

Is your sister okay?

She's fabulous.

She's gonna stick around
and play happy families

with my mum.

Let's go.

Hmm.

Jesus.

He's trying to keep us here.

Why?

Someone will come
and take a look at the car.

Might take a while.

You and your friend can
wait in the house if you like.

I know you didn't
come here to see me...

so I'll do my best to
stay outta your way.

Bobbi told me about this one.

You were exactly the same.

Could never get you to settle.

I'll make a bed up for you
in case you need to stay.

Is there a lake here?

- Yeah.
- Good... we'll do it there.

Why're you doing this?

I'm trying to save your life.

No. Tell me who you are to him.

Tell me why someone
would spend 50 years

livin' in a car, eatin'
rank-ass apple pies.

'Cause right now, all I
see is a batty old lady

telling me to throw
a baby in a lake,

and to be honest,
I'm not feelin' it.

Nothing?! Okay, f*ck this.

Whatever your plan
is... clearly isn't working.

Where are you
going, you stupid girl?

Don't walk away.
We're, we're so close.

If you don't wanna tell me what
the f*ck is going on with him,

I'll figure it out for myself.

You'll be dead
this time tomorrow.

I'll be following
some other stupid girl.

Stupid girl!

What do you want?
Are you hungry?

Bloody hell, you're a unit.

What d'ya want?

Maybe you can give
me a break, yeah?

Get you some food,
keep our heads down,

then find a way out, all right?

Hi, Ma!

Honey says the
cider's ready for tonight,

if you wanna try it.

Precious Bobbi!

Aww!

I am so happy they're here.

And I'm so happy
you're here, too.

Yeah...

Aww!

You've become an Aunt...
and I've become an Elder.

So, whatever the circumstances,

that's a blessing, isn't it?

Mm. -

Now, pump up your bed, will ya?

This is my bed.

- Oh, Bobbi.
- Right.

- I'll see ya at dinner.
- Yeah.

Come on.

Come on.

He's crying 'cause you're tired.

You need to sleep,
he needs to cry it out.

Hello, I'm Honey.

And you must be Natasha.

And this must be
your lovely baby.

Oh, y-you've caught
us in the middle

of slightly glorious chaos.

Gosh, they are wonderful
at that age, aren't they?

Do you do skin-on-skin?

- What?
- Oh.

You put them just
here, on your chest,

until your heartbeats
are in sync.

The bodily connection
between a mother and her child

- is quite extraordinary.
- Right.

Are you staying for
the Solstice tonight?

- Sadly not.
- Oh, you must!

Maybe, if we're
very kind to Bobbi,

she'll give us a magic trick.

Then, it's all hands
on deck for the bonfire.

Alright, alright, alright.

Um, what... have I got here?

Chocolate coins!

Now, I need all of you

to concentrate really hard

on getting these coins

into that bowl.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Three, two, one.

- Where did they go?
- Wow!

Guess it didn't work.

Unless...

Check your pockets.

Chocolate coin!

Okay, everyone, chocolate
in the treat cupboard.

Aww!

But Bob just gave 'em the coins.

Processed sugar makes our teeth

go black and fall out.

It's fine, Tash.

Why don't you have a baby?

Is it because you're a lesbian?

We encourage the children
to be curious and open,

and we respond in the spirit

of radical honesty.

Uh, w-well, um,
m-my partner and I,

uh, d-decided that, uh,

having a, a biological
baby wasn't...

um, 'cause... pregnancy...

Processed sugar won't
turn your teeth black.

I ate sweets all the
time when I was a kid.


I've got lovely teeth.

Time to go down to the bonfire.

But I want my chocolate coin!

Jacob...

at Jupiter House,

we don't raise our
voices in anger.

- We only raise them in joy.
- Only in joy.

Now... go and help the others.

Come on.

No more chocolate
coins, Bobbi. Eh?

Just can't help
yourself, can you?

This f*cking place.

Natasha? Can I have a cigarette?

What?

I'll show you
Barbara's workshop.

It's where she goes when
she's having a meltdown.

No one's allowed in here.

Can I have a cigarette now?

All right, don't smoke
in front of anyone

until you can inhale
without coughing,

all right?

Always use these two fingers.

Never these two, unless
you wanna look like a twat.

And if someone asks
you for a cigarette,

always say yes.

Unless it's your last one,

in which case you'll
say you'll twos it.

What's twos it?

Never mind.

Hello.

What do you want?

Uh...

She needs you to put
the baby to sleep again.

You're the only
person who can do it.

It's classic Natasha, isn't it?

It's like tryin' to love a clam.

Totally.

Who exactly are you?

- Um...
- You.

'Cause I know you're
not her yoga teacher.

I'm helping her
out with the baby.

You can tell her if
she wants my help,

she can ask for it herself.

Ah...!

What happened to you?

There's a box of your old
baby clothes in the guest room.

Got 'em out for Bobbi.

Probably more useful for you.

Doting grandmother
doesn't suit you.

Well, reluctant
mother doesn't suit you.

You don't have
anything to prove.

Well, least of all to me.

Was it worth it then?

To go and live in a field,
and make little clay people?

Well, you tell me.

Has havin' a baby fixed
the hole in your soul?

Why did you come here, Natasha?

These are sh*t, by the way.

Don't f*cking start.

What do you want? Huh?

What do you want?

What do you want?
What do you want?

What do you want?!

What do you
want? What do you want?

What do you want?!

What do you want?!

What do you f*cking well want?!

What do you want?! Just
tell me what you want!

What do you want?!

Get some sleep... Come on.

He doesn't let me sleep.

Let him cry.

Come down to the feast
when you're ready, eh?

Why did you bring me here?

Well, as you all know...

Summer Solstice is my
favorite night of the year.

- -Yeah.
- It's a celebration...

of the Dark Womb

from whom we emerge
and to whom we return.

But on Solstice night,

we recognize

the light within us,

that we may see clearly
what's been asked of us.

So that we can be the best

we possibly can...
for each other.

Yes!

And this year's Solstice...

is a special one...

because I have both

my daughters

under the same roof.

And a grandchild!

So, let's dedicate
this year's Solstice...

to mothers...

and the children that make them.

To mothers and the
children who make them!

♪ My mother's child ♪

♪ Curses too loud
and too often ♪

♪ My mother's child laughs
too loud and too long ♪

♪ And howls at the moon
and sleeps in ditches ♪

♪ And clumsily raises
her voice in this song ♪

♪ I am my
mother's savage daughter ♪

♪ The one who runs barefoot,
cursing sharp stones ♪

♪ I am my mother's
savage daughter... ♪

Hey.

Hey, it's okay.

You're okay.

Shh...

You're trying to k*ll us.

- I, I didn't know it would hurt you.
- Liar!

You don't even know why
you're doin' this anymore, do you?

Do you?!

Helen.

Who the f*ck is Helen?

You're not going to tell me?

I'm done!

You want her to know?

'Cause I'm leavin' this
mad house right now.

Natasha Williams.

Lydia McNaish-Wilcox.

Yolanda Rey.

Tanya Anne Curtis.

Ines Moreno.

Alia Waseed.

Kate Redfern!

I told you to stay away from me,

- you crazy f*cking bitch!
- Rosie Stone!

Take one step closer,
I swear to f*cking God!

He wants to show you.

Helen? Helen?

Helen!

Helen!
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