02x11 - You Gotta Get Down to Get Up

[bunniefuu]

[martial music]

- So Dwayne,

where are we exactly?

- Well, you know
how I have my personal

gyms scattered
across the country?

- Your Iron Paradises, yes.

- Forest Whitaker has
these beautiful wine cellars.

- You have to address
this Julien problem.

- What do you mean?

- I got numbers, baby.

- Right.

For those who don't know,

Dwayne's best friend
is Forest Whitaker.

- Oh, come on.
Randall is upset

because I didn't invite him

to a private lunch
with me and Forest.

- No, I am not upset.

I just figured
I would go with him

because we've been through
this whole thing together,

and I just don't understand
why now he would

decide to go off on his own.

- I'm uncomfortable.

- Well, Jamie's uncomfortable.

So I think we
should just get back

to talking
about why we're here.

- Of course. Sorry.

- It's okay.
- So the election is one day

away, and conventional
wisdom says that you should be

pounding the pavement
in key battleground states

instead of being here in Forest
Whitaker's wine cellar.

- I understand that criticism,

but I've always been one
to forge my own path.

Are you up for a story
while we wait?

- Always.
- In 1996,

Vince McMahon thought
I had potential,

but I was way too green,
so he sent me down to Memphis

so I could learn the ropes,

and I was back living with
my old buddy, Downtown Bruno.

- Hey, so how 'bout
this trailer?

I don't if you noticed,
but she moves on purpose,

not because
of a foundation code violation

like that motel
back in the day.

- Yeah, definitely a step up,

except for the no roof thing.

- Hm?

Ah, correction.
There's a roof.

No ceiling.
- Oh.

- Lost her to some black mold
a couple of years back.

- I'm sorry to hear that.

- Me too, brother.

- Since I'd lived
with him ten years ago,

Bruno had quite the ride.

He had a successful run
in the WWF

as Dr. Harvey Wippleman,

one of the best
heel managers ever,

managing guys like Kamala
and Giant González.

Now he was back in Memphis

working for Jerry "The King"
Lawler's promotion again

as referee and head
of the ring crew.

- So talked to Pat Patterson.
- Mm-hmm?

- Him and Vince want
you getting a ton of reps,

start working on a persona.

You decided on a name, yet?
- Weighing some options.

- Rocky Jr, no brainer.

- Rocky Maivia. That's nice.

- Little Chief?
- Now, I'd accept Rocky II,

even if Apollo Creed was
actually based on me.

- Wild Half-Samoan.

- Half-Wild Samoan.

- Don't put too much
pressure on this.

Most guys change names
a bunch in their careers.

Undertaker used to be Commando.

- It goes "Rocky" I,
then III, then II, then V,

even though I haven't
seen it yet.

Call yourself any of those
except Rocky IV,

too Russian.

- It's the beginning
of a new chapter,

so want to make sure
I get it right.

- Well, you definitely don't
want my opinion.

My name used to be
Dr. Lennerd Spazzinsky.

- Why?
- Sounded like a guy

I wanted to party with.

[both laugh]

- Though I still wasn't ready
for the WWF,

Vince and Pat decided
to try me out in a tag team,

wrestling in Jerry Lawler's
Saturday TV show,

the same one my dad worked
years earlier.

Hey, Mr. Jarrett.

- Who the hell are you?

- Dwayne Johnson.
- Hm?

- Rocky's son.

- Dewey!
Aw, man.

Hey, your dad still
owes me 40 bucks.

- Well, sounds like him.

Try not to hold it
against me though.

I was really trying
to be my own man,

and I didn't want my dad's
baggage passed down to me.

Sometimes you can't choose
how people know you.

- Hey, Billy Crane.
I book the matches.

- Oh, hey.

- Announcers need
your wrestling name.

You got one yet?
- But sometimes you can.

Yeah.

It's Flex.

Flex Kavana.

- Hang on.
Your name wasn't the Rock?

- No, not yet,
not out of the gates.

I wanted to blaze my own path,

so I decided to create a name
for myself on my own terms.

- But why Flex Kavana?

- Well, easy. Flex because
you got to flex the muscles,

and Kavana because it sounded
like a badass Polynesian name.

- Uh-huh.

- Well, trust me,
you're not the only one

who didn't love it.

- Oh.

- Did he say "cabana"
like some kind of beach bum?

- Did you not hear me
when I listed

all the acceptable Rockys?

- Whoo! My new partner,
Flex Kavana, sure looks

a lot like an inflated version
of this Dwyane kid

I used to set up rings with
back in the day.

One day it'll be me and you
in the ring.

- Brian Lawler.

Man, you look a lot different
from when we were kids.

- I got good-looking.
[both laugh]

That's why my ring name is "Too
Sexy" Brian Christopher now.

- I love it, Flex and Sex.

- So we'll do a promo
where I introduce you

as the next big thing.

You'll talk, we wrestle.

You good on the mic?

- The mic is my bitch.

[cheers and applause]

For our first match,
we were going up

against Brian's dad,
Jerry Lawler.

He was the biggest name
in Memphis,

so I wanted to impress him
with my mic work,

show him
what the new guy could do.

- I'd like to introduce you
and all the fans

to this man right here.

This is Flex Kavana, baby!

[cheers and applause]

Me and Flex are walking
out of here

as the new USWA
Tag Team Champions.

[cheers]

- It's very short, quick,
and simple.

We're very naughty by nature

and very violent by decision.

[crowd murmuring]

- What?

- Very violent by decision?

- Yeah, violently awful.

.

[laughter]

- I can't believe this dude
said "very naughty" on the mic.

- I lost focus after how many
"verys" there were.

- Yeah, yeah.
Keep it coming.

Everybody rip on the new guy.
I can take it.

- Hey, you are violent
by decision though,

just definitely not
by knockout.

[laughter]

- Bruno, no horsing around
with my wrestlers

until you finish
breaking down the ring.

- Oh.
Yeah, you bet, boss.

Uh, Chilly?
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

- And it's max two pumps
of baby oil.

Don't take advantage.

- Not sexy, bro.

- Meanwhile, even though
they didn't love my new name,

my parents were still
very invested

in my wrestling journey.

- You're not selling
like I showed you.

When Lawler stomps
on your big toe,

you got to act like
you may lose your whole leg.

- Okay. Got it, Dad.

- Honey,
make sure you tell Bruno

to keep sending tapes
of your matches.

- Okay, great.
- And I looked it up,

Kavana means "sincere feelings
of the heart" in Hebrew.

What is that?
- Okay, got to go.

Talk later, guys. Bye.

- No... don't...

- Give the boy space.

- No.
He needs to know this.

I wish I had someone
telling me this stuff

when I first started out.

- He is Flex Banana now,

because he's trying
to find his own way.

- "Kavana," Mom. And that's
what we're helping him do.

- The more you tell him,
the less he will listen.

- [gasps]
- The hell?

- Leave him be.

- Our cord!

- Here's what I don't
understand though,

is "Too Sexy," like, too sexy,
like, it's unrealistic?

- No. No, I'm too sexy
for the haters.

I'm the perfect amount
of sexy for me.

- I had a girlfriend once
who was too sexy for me.

I ended it
before she figured it out.

[laughter]

- Oh, hey, Bruno,
what is that Crane guy's deal?

- Ah, it's just a bad case
of "booker-itis."

You know,
he sets the lineup card,

so he thinks he's the boss.

Power of the pencil.

- Dude looks like a pencil.

- All right.
All right, hey, let's not go

getting on Billy Crane's
bad side now.

- Why not?
What's Ichabod gonna do?

- You want to showcase
for Vince,

you want the best matches
against the best guys.

Billy Crane waves
that little pencil of his,

the only matches you're getting
are in the cr*cker Barrel

bathroom during shift change.

- Man, if I...

oh, Chilly, get down!

- What are you doing, man?

- You know these little towns
around here.

"Population under 1K,
duck and pray."

- [chuckles]
- This town has a Black mayor.

- Its sister city
is San Francisco.

- The comptroller is gay.
- Sorry, old habits.

- The town mascot
is a panda with an earring.

- Okay, I got it.

- I'm not even kidding,
my dude.

- [grunts]

- Yeah!
- You've got to be kidding me.

Crane wrestles too?
- Oh, you are in for a treat.

- It's time for The Crane

'cause here comes the claw.

Oh, what am I gonna find?

A cruddy wrestler?

- Crane's heel
gimmick was terrible...

[crowd booing]
- That's right!

Get off.

- So he picked on Bruno
to get a crowd reaction,

and I was getting tired of it.

- There it is!
- It's over!

- One, two, and he got him!

- Man, look at that.

The last time I saw Steve,

he had a full head of hair,
a dud gimmick,

and thought he was
gonna get fired.

- Not no more. He's gonna
be the next big thing.

- Get that piece of crap
out of my ring,

because I proved, son,
without a shadow of a doubt,

you ain't got
what it takes anymore.

- Look at Jake.
He's really milking his exit.

- I was at the birth
of his snake, Damien.

- You talk about John 3:16.

Austin 3:16 says I just
whooped your ass!

- Ooh, that was good.

- That was really good,
brother.

- That's the level
I want to get to.

- Let's get to it.
- Right now?

- I mean, you know, I...

I have the wings in the oven,

but... but after that.

We could do it after that.

- And I'm fixing to start
running through all of you.

.

- You know, I remember
watching that moment on TV.

Austin 3:16.

- Ah, man, it caught on like
wildfire, just like that.

He sold more T-shirts
to 15-year-old boys

than anyone
in wrestling history.

- Until "Can you smell...

both:
What The Rock is cooking?"

- [laughing]
- Do the eyebrow?

- Oh yeah, I could do that.

- Are you doing it?
- Yeah.

Right?

- Do you have Botox?

That's why.
- Ton of it.

Anyway, uh, so you're
working in Memphis.

- I'm working in Memphis,
and man, it was a grind.

Eight shows in seven days,
week after week.

[upbeat rock music]

♪

Although it did give me
a great chance to start

building a relationship
with the fans.

My grandma knew I needed
some space to hone my craft

on my own, so she kept
an eye on my parents.

- High Chief woke me up
from my nap early.

Thank goodness he did.

- I was getting a lot better
in the ring,

but if I wanted
to get to the next level,

I knew my mic work,
well, needed some work.

So Bruno started
playing me cassette tapes

of legends working the mic.

- Like 100-megaton
hydrogen b*mb,

just getting bigger
and bigger every day, brother!

- Okay, you hear his pace
right there,

how he builds it up
to an expl*si*n?

- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Ric Flair,
my belly's just a little big,

my hiney's just a little big,

but brother, I am bad,
and they know I'm bad!

- You see
how he self-deprecates?

- Mm-hmm.
- That is being a babyface

as an art form.

- You talking
to the Rolex-wearin',

diamond ring-wearin',
kiss-stealin',

wheelin', dealin',
limousine-ridin',

jet-flyin' son of a g*n!

- Kiss-stealing?
Come on, Flair!

♪

[crowd jeering]

Listening to those greats
on the mic really inspired me.

- Look what I found.

- Now I knew I had to find
my own voice.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
That's a foreign object.

- What? Come on!
- And that's a DQ.

- Are you kidding me?
- Ring the bell.

- What's this clown doing?
- It's done. It's done.

- You're making a big mistake.
- No, you can't use

a foreign object.
- What the hell?

Come on!
You're an idiot!

Hey, give me the mic.
Can you believe

this little weasel was
a manager in the WWF?

And now he refs for me,

15 bucks a match.

What a loser.

- You know what,
give me the mic, okay?

- Oh, you want the mic? Here.

- That's enough out of you.
- Take it!

[feedback whines]

- Crane, Crane, Crane, Crane.

There's only one thing worse

than white chocolate
in this world,

and that's a bully.

[applause and whistles]

And I don't like the way
you've been talking

to my boy, Downtown Bruno,
the Tom Cruise of Memphis.

[cheers]

Oh, and I noticed your little
finishing move.

It's really cute.
What's it called?

- It's called "the Cra...

- It doesn't matter
what it's called!

[cheers and applause]

You treat people the way you do
'cause you know your deformed,

beanstalk-looking
body can't compete

with the greatest physique
Memphis has ever seen.

[cheers and applause]

Your asparagus-smelling,
Amy Grant-listening,

little baby bird-ass can't
measure up

to the most athletic, dynamic,

hydromatic wrestler
in USWA history.

- "Hydromatic?"
- Who cares, he's on a roll.

- But if you ever do decide,

Billy lanky-ass, candy-ass,
son of a bitch

that you want a piece
of this...

[breathing deeply]

Then come get some.

[cheers and applause]

Flex Kavana out.

all: [chanting]
Flex! Flex! Flex! Flex!

- Whoo!
- Whoo-whoo!

- Oh, my God.
- All right!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh.

- Yes!

- Hell yeah!
- Hell yeah.

Oh, brother, that was fun.

You know, but I-I...

Dwayne, I'd be lying to you
if I said I wasn't a little bit

worried about
what Crane was gonna do.

- Hey, whatever happens,
happens, okay?

I did what felt right to me,
and I can live with that.

- Thank you.

[chuckles]

- As good as it felt
to stand up for Bruno,

I was still like,
oh, man, did I just screw up

my chances to get to the WWE?

And I promised all of you

that Flex would
start the party.

[cheers and applause]

But my opponent, Bill Dundee,

hasn't even shown up
to the party.

- Hey, Flex.

- Oh, that is not Bill Dundee.

Looks like The King's
been summoned,

and that could mean
bad vibes for Kavana.

- Flex "Cabana" tried
to pick a fight

with my man, The Crane.

You talk a big game, but let's
see you put your money

where your mouth is
against The King...

with my belt on the line
right now.

[cheers]

Ho! Ho, ho, ho!

On one condition...

if you win,
you become champion.

But if you lose,
you leave Memphis for good!

[crowd jeering]

[laughing]

[tense music]

[cheers]

- And there
you have it, folks.

- I didn't know
what was going on.

So in my head,
I'm like, ah, [bleep],

Crane talked to Jerry, and now
this match is a clever way

to boot me
from the whole circuit.

[bell dinging]

[suspenseful music]

♪

What's going on?

[panting]

- Kid, you got the call.

You're headed to the WWF.

- What?
- Congratulations.

- Oh, thanks.

- Now, enjoy it
while I kick your ass.

Aah!

[crowd gasping]

["Hold On, I'm Comin'"
by Sam & Dave]

♪

- I can't
thank you enough, Ken.

[grunts]

Been a pleasure, Dave.

[yelling]

[groaning]

It never felt so good to lose.

[bell dinging]

.

- Wow, that was fast.
You'd only been in Memphis for,

what, five months?

- Oh, it was crazy.

I couldn't believe it was
happening either.

Vince wanted to fly me
to Connecticut

to have another meeting,
only this time,

he wanted to talk
about my WWE debut.

I just had one thing to do
before I left.

- I spared no expense.
I got some Miller High Lifes.

Let's celebrate.
- Nice.

- Hold on,
something feels different.

- Oh, yeah? What?

- I don't know.

Something feels...

[soft music]

What the hell is this?

- Well, now you've got
a roof and a ceiling.

You're lousy
with head coverings.

♪

Thank you
for everything, Bruno.

I appreciate all
you've done for me.

- sh**t, I don't know
what to say.

I love you, brother.
- I love you too.

- Come on. Bring it in.

Hey, let's drink
these High Lifes

before I get too emotional.

- High Lifes make
you more emotional.

- Yeah, that's true.
That is true.

- We heard about how you won
the crowd over defending Bruno.

It's exactly what we're
looking for in a babyface.

The fans need a new hero.
- Thank you.

Yes, I love the sound of that.

- How's this for a debut:

Survivor Series,
Madison Square Garden?

- Wow.

My dad and grandfather
both wrestled at MSG.

- And now you will too.

Welcome to the show, kid.

- It's great to be here.

And I promise you,
Flex Kavana won't let you down.

- Oh, by the way,
hate that name.

[chuckles]
You're a third-generation

wrestling legacy.

Let's own that, hm?

What do you think
of the name "Rocky Maivia?"

- Well, my mom actually
suggested that...

- Smart lady.
- But I don't know.

I-I was kind of hoping
to forge my own path.

- I get it.

You know,
I'm a legacy guy too, Dwayne.

But family is what got us here.

You should honor that.

- He was right.

So eventually,
I shortened the name

and I made it my own.

But yeah, I made my WWE debut
as Rocky Maivia.

- So you really had your debut
at Madison Square Garden?

- I did,
and it was a magical night.

But eventually things would
take a downward turn.

So...

- Whoa. Who are they?

- They're with me.
He's a friend,

and I trust him completely.
You should trust him.

- Yes, he said
it in front of him.

[tense music]

- Yeah, I want
the cameras on anyway.

seeing me finally face
my tormentor would be

an inspirational moment
for others like me.

- Mm-hmm.
Others like you.

- Victims.

- The only thing
you're a victim of

is your own delusions.

- Says the actor running
for president.

- What the hell
did you just say?

- Hm?
- Hey, stop.

We're not in sixth grade
anymore.

Let's be adults,
and let's talk this out

over a bottle of wine, okay?

- You're absolutely right.
I'm sorry.

I'm willing if he is.

- I'm here, aren't I?
- As I've told Dwayne

over the years,
there's no problem

that can't be solved
by the perfect grape.

- Uh, what?

- So what we have here
is a cabernet

from a monastery
in the Swiss Alps.

I know you're wondering,
how could you grow grapes

in such a cold climate
on a cliff?

The answer is...

I don't know.

Maybe caves or something.

This wine will alter
your outlook towards the world.

♪

- I mean, incredible.
I'm changed.

- I prefer white.

- Julien, you're a tough hang.

- That's right.

- So like the nature
of this wine,

let's try and gain
a better understanding

of how this all got started.

Dwayne, can you tell us
what happened,

how Julien was able
to get underneath your skin?

- Well, he called me a liar,

and he said
my dad wasn't my dad.

- I just asked the question.
- Let my best friend talk.

- Thank you, Randall.

- But, why didn't
you ignore him?

I mean, you knew the truth.

- Well, I love my dad.

We had a complicated
relationship,

but the one true thing
about him was he was the champ

and he was the greatest
of all time.

And I guess when this kid tried

to take that truth away
from me, I reacted.

- Thank you, Dwayne.

Now, Julien,

can you relate to anything
that Dwayne just said?

- No. My dad and I had
a great relationship.

He was my best friend.

I have a tattoo on my leg
of his face

with the words,
"Hey, another pizza,"

because that's what
he was always saying.

He always wanted more pizza
than he had.

- Oh.

- But...

I guess my mom and I had
a complicated relationship.

She was very successful,
a big sh*t lawyer.

She helped Prince turn his name
into a symbol

to get out
of a record contract.

- I tried to do that once
to get out of a movie contract.

Long story short,
it didn't work.

That's why I'm the voice
of Thumper

in "Bambi: Return of the Hunt."

- I knew I heard
that voice before.

- "Help me, Bambi, help me."

- Oh, that's it!

- Anyway, she was never
around very much.

- That must have
been hard, man.

- Yeah, growing up wasn't easy.

What made it harder was
Dwayne trying to k*ll me!

- I didn't try and k*ll you.
- You tried to k*ll me!

- If anything,
you tried to k*ll me.

- [exasperated sigh]
- Okay, well, forget it.

I appreciate it, Forest.
Thank you.

This is a waste of time.

- I just thought that I'd found

the perfect grape,

but I didn't.

Is there any way
to squash this public beef?

- No.
- Yes.

[tentative music]

- What is it?

- Well...