05x09 - Mr. Petracelli's Revenge

[bunniefuu]

[♪ ♪]

(Laughs)

Here we go.

Now, this is some classic
TV right here.

(Blows, coughs)

little bit more classic
than I thought. (Coughs)

What's up, grandpa?

You want me to throw that
dusty old thing in the trash?

This is not trash!

This is a tape of my old
chill grill commercials.

We're sh**ting
a new spot today,

and I just wanna give
the director a sense of

the great actor
she's working with.

Who's she working with?

Me!

I'm sorry. The words
"great actor" threw me.

Hey, grandpa.
I've been meaning to ask.

- What is that?
- Oh...

You mean...

Janine?

Whoa.

Janine's a smoke show.

You're right.
She does burn oil.

This old girl has
not been driven in years.

I-I-I can fix that!
(laughs) I got my license.

Let me think about it.

- Thought about it.
- No.

(Whooshing)

(Echoing):
I got to admit it, Booker.

I didn't think you'd be able
to get straight A's.

Janine is yours...

(whooshing)

Okay. Um, how about this?

What if I make straight A's
this semester?

Then, you would get the joy
of reaching academic success

that no one ever
thought possible.

Okay. sh*ts fired.

But if I do,
would you let me get the car?

Sure. Why not?

You get straight A's,
Janine is all you.

(laughs) Yes!

Uh, you do know that A's
are the triangle shape

with the line through
the middle, right?

Just checkin'.

Theme music playing...

♪ Ha, ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ New city,
I'm finding my way ♪

♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

- ♪ C'mon! ♪
- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪

- ♪ We get loud! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

(Raven laughing)
*RAVEN'S HOME*

Yep! That's us.

*RAVEN'S HOME*
Season 05 Episode 09

Episode Title: "Mr. Petracelli’s Revenge"
Aired on: May 06, 2022.

Sync & corrections done by srjanapala

Ready, pop-pop.

I'm so excited to watch you
star in a big-time commercial.

(laughs) You sure, it's not
because you're getting

- outta doing your chores?
- (gasps)

I get to miss out on my chores?

I hadn't even thought of that.

Apparently, we have
two actors in the family.

Are you sure you don't
wanna join us, Rae?

Ah, I got season tickets
to "the Victor show."

Besides, I'm gonna
spend my day

working on some sketches for
my new designs. Check it out.

Hm...
Ap history study guide.

You gonna put this
on a shirt?

I do not get fashion.

Oh no, this is Booker's folder.

Now I gotta
run it by the school.

Unless my wonderful,

talented dad wants to, you know,

drop it off on his way
to the chill grill. (Laughs)

Damn. (Laughs)

I hope I'm that fast
when I'm old.

[♪ ♪]

When I get my
grandpa Vic's car,

we'll never have to
walk to school again.

But, you have to get
straight A's.

I already have a B-plus.
If I ace our history test,

- I will have straight A's.
- You will?

- I have straight A's.
- You do?

Who else has straight A's?

But, I'm the smart one.
If I'm not the smart one,

who am I?

Well, you can't be the quirky one
with a heart of gold

'cause that's me.

Or the tall one.
Me again.

I guess you
can be the one

who walks away while
people are talking.

Dude!
When I get that car,

the first place I'm driving
is on a date with cami.

Hm. Oh! Somebody's
coming your way.

Ooh. It's cami,
isn't it? Okay.

(Clears throat)

Hey, girl...

Who you "hey, girl in'"?

Mom?

You know your daddy "hey, girled" me
in this exact hallway.

(Sly laugh)

Gross.

- What are you doing here?
- Well, you left your

history folder at home,

so I think that
you have my design folder.

- Thanks, mom.
- Yeah. Oh, I remember my history teacher.

He was loud and sweaty
and his neck would cr*ck.

It was nasty.

- (Neck cracking)
- Yep. Sounded just like that.

Whoa-hoo-hoo-hoo!
You scared me.

I heard that nasty neck cr*ck,

and I thought you were
my old teacher Mr. Petracelli.

I'm not your
old teacher.

Well, that's a relief.
He was the worst!

Oh, he was mean and sweaty...

I'm his son.

It was actually
more like a dewy glow.

Uh, well, nice to meet you.

I just came to drop off
my son's folder, so...

Wait a minute!

You're Raven Baxter?

You heard of me?

My father wrote about you
in his memoir.

He titled it

"the day I oh, snapped."

That could be
about anybody, really.

Let me quote from page 247.

"Raven Baxter was
a loud-mouth troublemaker

who was destined to peak
in high school."

What? Oh, that is ridiculous.

What are you up to
these days?

I can't help but notice
it's the middle of the day,

and you're here.

You don't know my life,
but I know you. Okay?

I-I see that you're
just like your father.

A pathetic man

who-who makes himself feel big
by making students feel small.

It's called teaching.

- Now, get out of my school.
- You can't tell me what to do.

I'm not your student.

Mom, please go.

Okay. I'll leave, sweetheart.
Have a great day.

Love you.
Not so sure about you.

Your mother may not be
my student, but you are.

See you in class... Booker.

[♪ ♪]

O. M. Goodness!

Victor, it is such
an honor to work with you!

I'm nori. I'm your director.
I love your work.

"You chill while we grill." oh!

(laughs) I love it.

Didn't I say that, Chrissy?
Didn't I say I love it?

That's all me.

- And who is this?
- I'm Alice!

Well, aren't you the cutest?
Chrissy, isn't she the cutest?

(laughs)
Here's a copy of the script

so you can follow along.
This shouldn't take long.

Uh, I brought a copy
of my old commercials

for you to take a look at.

I will watch them...

The next time I go
to my grandparents' house.

Now, let's get you in place.

Okay, and now, uh,
do you know your script?

Uh, yeah. I just had
a couple of questions

- about...
- Okay. And action!

Uh... (clears throat)

What's good, wi-shay? (Laughs)

- Uh, I am confused. Who is wi-shay?
- (nori laughs)

It's "which a."
like "with you,"

but the way young people say it.
Just mush it together. Action.

What's good which a?

I'm Vic one.

I'm Vic one... (scoffs)

I'm Vic one. I just... sorry.
Just realized I'm Vic one.

Yeah. Cut! Vic one?

Let's try to make it through
the whole thing this time.

(laughs) Action.

I'm Vic one.
Wi-shay!

Which a!

That is not
right at all.

I'm sorry.
I will get this. Okay.

Pop-pop. This is easy.
Alright? You got it.

All you have to say is...

What's good which a?

I'm Vic one,
and, on the real,

this grub I'm pushin' is fire!

So, slide on down

to the chill grill,
where the pit...

Is always... Uh-lit.

- That was fantastic!
- (applause)

That was better
than fantastic!

Chrissy's crying.

You got Chrissy crying.

Chrissy didn't even cry
when her boyfriend left her

and took their pet turtle.

Uh, just spit-balling,
what if we put lil a

- in the commercial with you?
- (gasps) Really?

That'll be fun!

Alright!
Everybody, back to one.

Okay, Victor,
take a step to the left.

Now, a tiny one.

Okay...

- Now, give me the biggest one yet.
- Okay.

Perfect.

- Action.
- What's good which a?

[♪ ♪]

You okay, Ivy?

(Emotionless):
Yeah. I'm okay.

I'm just okay.

Like everybody else.

Good to hear!

Hey, guys. Check out my plan to
get back on Mr. P's good side.

Bruh, that's an apple.

Yeah. The teacher food.

For some reason,
they love these things.

I hope you future hobos
are prepared

for the midterm tomorrow.

It's worth 50% of your grade.

(Booker clears throat)

- I got you an apple.
- I hate apples.

Baxter, are you
trying to bribe me?

You're just like your mother.

Sit down.

Oh, you're sweating!
Let me get the fan for you.

-Baxter, leave it.
Oh! Wait, wait!
-(fan blowing)

Oh! Ah...

(fan stops)

Don't worry. (Laughs)
Nobody saw a thing.

Didn't they?

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

- Hey, baby. How was school?
- Can't talk. Gotta study.

"Gotta study"?
What happened?

Nothing happened, mom.

Nuh-uh. See, the last time

you said "nothing
happened" like that,

we had to wait six months for
ChelseA's eyebrows to grow back.

(Gruff voice):
What happened?

It's just that when you
embarrassed Mr. Petracelli...

(normal voice):
He came for you, didn't he?!

Ooh!

I knew

something was gonna happen.

Okay, you know what?
This stops now, alright?

Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna set up a sting.
You're gonna wear a wire,

I'ma swoop in,
I'ma catch him in the act.

Or... We can do nothing.

Uh, excuse me, have we met?
What do you mean, do nothing?

I mean, I want to earn
a good grade on my own

to show him
he's wrong about me.

He said that I'm going
to fail this class,

- but I'm gonna prove him wrong.
- (laughs)

I think you mean

- we're gonna prove him wrong.
- I meant me.

- I heard we.
- I said me.

- Yeah, we.
- Me!

(Whispers):
We...

Done. I finally finished
studying for my history test.

No, you're not.
Read these books.

European history,
African history,

and the complete
history of sports,

just in case
he throws you a curve ball.

Pew!

[♪ ♪]

Who was the de facto leader
of the French republic?

Uh, uh, Napoleon?

- Napoleon who?
- B-Bonaparte?

Yeah! There you go, Booker.
Gotta be thorough.

Petracelli takes no prisoners,
like that Napoleon...

(mouthing)

Wh-what's-his-name.

[♪ ♪]

Who was the 16th president
of the United States?

Come on, mom.
I'm tired.

You know who doesn't get tired?

Mr. Petracelli
and Abraham Lincoln.

What does Lincoln
have to do with this?

He's the 16th president
of the United States!

(Sighs)

Who said, "I cannot tell a lie"?

- George Washington.
- Oh, that's my baby.

That's my baby.
Sweet dreams...

Of taking petracelli down.

[♪ ♪]

Okay. Just like
we rehearsed it.

- Action!
- Victor: What are you doing, Alice?

Chillin' at the chill grill,

where these meals
are the real deal!

Cut! (Laughs)

- I love that one, lil a!
- Thank you.

- Y'all, pure improv.
- (laughs)

What did you think, Victor?

I couldn't see anything
from back here.

Trust me, it was perfect.
This little girl

is going to attract
a lot of young customers.

Look, I love that you're
going after the younger demo,

but what about their parents
and their grandparents?

The chill girl has always
been a family restaurant.

It still is,
just with a new face.

I've been in every commercial
since the day we opened.

I'm a familiar face.

Or the same old one,
depending on how you look at it.

I prefer familiar.

I say we agree to disagree.

- But I don't agree.
- Cool! Then we're on the same page!

- No, we're not!
- Couldn't agree more!

[♪ ♪]

Okay, pea brains.

Get out your pencils
and your tissues.

It's midterm time.

You ready for this, Ivy?

What's the difference?

Grades are just an artificial
construct put on us

by the man to keep us
from seeing the truth.

Nothing matters.

- Wow, you got dark.
- Yeah?

I was thinking,
since everyone gets A's now,

goth could be my thing.
It'll make me stand out.

Totally.
You'll be unique,

just like Evelyn dark soul.

I forgot about
Evelyn dark soul.

(Yawns)

Looks like you didn't
get much sleep.

Not that it would have mattered.

I would say good luck,
but it's just not me.

You have 45 minutes
starting...

5 minutes ago.

You got this.

Focus, and that
car is yours.

What was Napoleon
famous for saying?

(Yawns)
what was Napoleon famous for saying?

(Echoing):
I said nothing is impossible,

except you passing this test!

(Evil laugh)

Four score and seven minutes
from now,

you're not gonna
pass this test! No!

(Evil laugh)

I cannot tell a lie.

Alright, I know.
I'm not gonna pass this test.

Ain't that the truth?

(Evil laugh)

I can't do this.

I never thought you could.

[♪ ♪]

- (Music on headphones)
- (vocalizing)

(Vocalizing continues)

Ah! Oh!
(nervous laugh) Hey.

Hey, you scared me there.
My life flashed before my eyes,

and I realized
I need to get out more.

- So, how was the test?
- I don't wanna talk about it.

(Sighs) That petracelli.
I knew it.

It-it's fine. Alright, mom?
I'm gonna figure it out.

Okay...

See, your mouth
is saying okay,

but your face is saying
you're up to something.

Well, then worry about your
own face then, Booker.

We will be together, Janine.
I saw it.

Hey, what you doin',
grandpa Vic?

Cleaned out my closet.

Nobody wants old stuff anymore.

It's just not fair!

You wake up in the morning
feeling good about yourself.

Next thing you know,
some whippersnapper saying

you're too old to be
in your own commercial.

Uh, maybe because you say
whippersnapper.

You're not old.

Now, Mr. Parker
across the street, he's old.

He's two years
younger than me.

Maybe I should just give up.

You can't do that.

Baxters don't give up.
Take Janine. Is she old?

Watch your mouth.
My Janine is vintage.

Exactly.
And what about this?

I'd rock it.

Now, what's the one thing
you always tell me?

Just because you can't smell it,
doesn't mean we can't smell it?

The other thing.

Everything old
becomes new again.

- It's just a matter of time.
- Just a matter of time.

Thanks, Booker.

- Where are you going?
- Back to the chill grill

to show that director
that vintage is cool.

And thanks for reminding
your old grandpa that

he can do anything.

You're right.

My old grandpa can do anything.

[♪ ♪]

(Neck cracking)

Oh...

Hey there, Mr. cr*ck-a-celli.
I mean, petracelli.

What are you doing here?
And before you make a move,

I want you to know
I have pepper spray.

Wait a minute,
that's just pepper!

Okay, but I can throw it at you!

Listen, I just
came down here to talk.

My son is a bright young man,
and I don't want what happened

between me and you
to be taken out on him.

Save it, Baxter.
I know you came down here

to clean up the mess he made
by walking out during the test.

Uh, excuse me. He did what?

Don't act surprised.

We both know your son
is a troublemaker,

just like you!

What!? Excuse you!
Alright, my son is nothing like me.

(Old voice):
Hello, Mr. Petracelli!

(laughs)

I'm Victor Baxter.
I'm Booker's grandfather.

I came down here to ask you
to give my beloved grandson...

One more chance on the test.

- What up, dad?
- Oh snap.

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

(Normal voice):
Ma? Uh...

(old voice):
Raven?

(Clears throat)
My lovely, forgiving daughter.

I-I wasn't expecting to see you.

I wasn't expecting
to see you either,

"dad."

Well, I wouldn't
have had to come

if you hadn't insulted
this nice young man.

Young?

Thank you.

It's nice to meet
a reasonable Baxter for once.

Oh, so he's the reasonable one?

Don't talk to
your father that way.

Uh-uh-uh... Raven!

I-I know I done raised you
better than that.

Whippersnappers these days, huh?

Hey, you know what?
Maybe you should let me handle this, pops.

I came down here to help Booker,

but apparently, he walked
out of his test today.

Well, he-he-he...

He was under a lot of pressure,
and he was exhausted.

His mother kept him up
all night studying.

I only did that because

he threatened to fail
Booker for no reason!

No reason?

You humiliated me
in my own school!

I don't see how
that's Booker's fault.

You insult everyone!

Again, not Booker's fault.

Look, Mr. Petracelli...

Booker studied
real hard for this test,

and if you give him
another chance,

I know I can ace it.

Wait, what do you mean
"you" can ace it?

Uh-oh.

(Normal voice):
It-it's me, Mr. P.

Booker?!

(Exhales)

I knew you were
just like your mother.

Uh-uh-uh-uh!
He is nothing like me, okay?

I would have never
taken off my disguise.

I commit.

I'm not my mother.

I tried to tell you that, but
you never gave me the chance.

I had to dress up
like my grandfather

just to get you
to listen to me.

I guess I was a little hard
on you because of your mom.

I'm sorry.

You should be.
Ha, ha. Got him, baby.

Mom.

Fine.

I guess I was a little hard
on you because of your dad.

Please, Mr. Petracelli.
Let me take the test again.

(Sighs)

You have 45 minutes

starting...

5 minutes ago.

Thank you so much. Alright,
you will not regret this.

I promise. I studied.
I'm ready...

You're talking too much!
Take the test! Take the test!

[♪ ♪]

What it be like,
cool dudes and dudettes?

Gimme five.

Five? Uh, hey,

Chrissy! Can you break a 20?

I don't want your money.
I wanna be in my commercial.

People care about
what's poppin',

and these clothes
are not poppin'.

Please, take a seat,
and let lil a finish.

Come on, lil a. Let's make
this place relevant again.

I'm not doing the commercial
without pop-pop.

We're trying to make
something cool.

My pop-pop is cool!

He puts the chill
in chill grill.

That doesn't make
any sense. (Laughs)

You chill a grill,
and you know what you get?

Uncooked meat.
That's a problem.

Maybe you're the problem.

I'm the problem? (Laughs)

If I'm the problem,
then I'll just leave.

Okay...

Fine. I'm out.

Come on, Chrissy!

Now, that was cool.
Thanks, Alice.

I'm sorry my cuteness
took over your commercial.

Oh, I'm not.

We still have a couple
more hours with the camera.

Wanna make
a commercial which a me?

Am I using that right?

Not at all.

[♪ ♪]

(Clears throat)

I have your test papers.

I sure hope some of you
have family money.

Okay. Come on, A.

I need this A.

What's it matter?

You get an a, you're not
the only one with an A.

You get a car, you won't be
the only one with a car.

We're all just carbon copies
of the same boring human,

and there's nothing special
about any of us.

Congrats!

You got the only
a-plus.

Me? I got the only a-plus.

- Just me?
- Just you.

Oh yes!

(laughing)

Feels good to be back.

Ah, we missed you.

Existential crisis is
not a good color on you.

C...

What? But, I wrote
an incredible essay!

It was multiple choice.

And Mr. Baxter?

You earned...

An A.

(laughs)

Yo, I got straight A's!

You know what that means?

(Sing-song):
I'm getting a car!

I'm getting a car!

You are not getting a car.

But, me and grandpa Vic
made a deal.

I have to admit, Booker.

I didn't think you'd be
able to get straight A's.

Janine is yours.

Yes!

I can't believe you
made a deal with him

without checking
with me first.

Trust me,
it's gonna be fine.

No, it's not fine.

He is my son.
I say when he gets a car.

You have overstepped.
You have way overstepped.

It won't start.

That's probably because
there's no engine in it.

You gave me a car
with no engine?

(laughing)

You ain't got no engine.

(Continues laughing)

Have I told you
how much I love you?

- Not today!
- Well, I love you a whole bunch.

(laughter)

Like an engine's worth.

(laughter)

[♪ ♪]

(Hip-hop beats)

What's good which a?

That means hello.

Come down to the spot.

It won't break your bank.
And the grub is fire!

(laughs) Come eat
at the chill grill,

where the foodvis reasonably priced
and delicious.

Mm-hmm!

We might be speaking
different languages,

but in any language,

the chill grill
is about family,

ours and yours.

So, come share a meal
and some fun times with us

'cause at the chill grill,
we got your back.

And your baby-backs.

[♪ ♪]