01x03 - Let's Get Down to Business

[bunniefuu]

[SHEILA]

And five, six, seven, eight.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

[DANNY GROANS]

[SHEILA]

And sweep up.

Up.

Up and out of bed, you lazy bitch.

["POINT OF NO RETURN" PLAYING]

[KISSES, IMITATES TICKLE SOUND]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC ENDS]

- [PANTING]

- [CHATTERING]

[SHEILA]

And just like that, it's over and you're you again.

Just another sweaty bitch sitting on your fat ass waiting for the next one.

How long until you get back here? What's it gonna take? [AEROBICS STUDENTS CHATTERING, LAUGHING]

Get more.

More time, more money.

- [BUNNY]

Just get the damn toilet paper.

- Time.

Money.

Time.

Money.

[PANTS]

You ever think about getting another teacher? You lead every class.

You can't grow your business.

You should get another teacher.

You mean like you? [PANTING]

Of all the conceited yuppie, assh*le crap.

You've been in classes for, like, two weeks.

But I've been in dance my whole life.

I don't give a squirt of sh*t.

You stole from us and now you're, like, begging to teach at my studio.

Pretty sure you're just a total psycho.

I'm a woman, and I was in trouble.

I needed money.

I didn't have a way to get my own.

I still don't.

I'm supposed to feel sorry for you 'cause you didn't rob us good enough.

Now I'm supposed to let you rob my students too? I would bring in my own students, help your business grow.

Just like you got Tyler a job.

But he hasn't heard sh*t.

You're just like his p*rn directors.

Overpromising and under-delivering.

[CHUCKLES]

I don't know, Bunny.

Isn't delivering kind of all they do? I'm not talking about f*cking.

I'm talking about paying.

I would deliver to both of you.

What do you got to lose? [TYLER]

She could be right.

Isn't, like, passive income the American dream? Like sitting back, a beer and a joint, letting the little man bring it on home.

[NAILS TAPPING]

One try, one class, one time.

But ditch the ballet slippers.

It's a workout, not a recital.

And, um, bring some toilet paper.

I can't afford another trip to the gyno.

Have that.

[DANNY]

All we need are a thousand voters' signatures and then we are on the ballot.

- [SIMONE]

Whoo! - [STUDENTS CHEERING]

Okay, so the only bummer is that we don't really have so much time, okay.

So we've really got to hit it to the max.

Um, your locations should be on your clipboards.

Um, Sheila, if you wanna - Oh.

Sorry.

- [SIMONE]

The clipboards.

Uh, remember, voters, they need to write their names exactly as they're registered, okay.

And they can only sign for themselves.

[DANNY]

Yeah.

So, you know, be on the lookout for any Mickey Mouses, Clark Kents, Jim Browns.

[SIMONE]

Oh, definitely.

Saboteurs can, like, completely invalidate your entire petition with one wrong name or date.

Plus, oh, um, don't forget blue ink only.

- Say it with me.

- [STUDENTS]

Blue ink only.

[SHEILA]

Good Lord.

[DANNY]

And I If I may, just for a second, I know a lot of you heard me say in class that democracy only works when we participate in it.

I'll tell you what I see in my living room right now.

[SHEILA]

Coeds with visible nipples? Democracy at work.

We may not have the money the other guys have.

But I'll tell you what, we have you.

People who believe in the process and their place in it.

So, uh, from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much.

All right, let's get out there.

Let's f*cking shred those talking points, all right.

Danny is the democratically endorsed candidate leading Save Our Wave.

- [STUDENTS CHEERING]

- Whoo! [DANNY]

All right.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, God.

[CRUNCHES]

Great turnout, babe.

Yeah, I gotta say it feels pretty good, you know.

I knew I was liked.

I didn't know I was this liked.

[CHUCKLES]

[SHEILA]

You thought you were this liked.

Hey, how do you feel about hitting up the, uh, the co-op? - You know, Simone and I - "Simone and I"? We're thinking that could be good because they already know you there.

And then there's that stretch of park right by Maya's school I wasn't planning on hitting the pavements.

What? Babe, we all gotta do our part.

Are you getting signatures? Uh, no.

I'm the candidate.

That would really hurt my legitimacy.

And plus, Simone and I are gonna sit down and powwow some some strategic ideas, so.

I have Maya, babe.

I And a f*cking life.

You'll figure it out, I guess.

Right? [CHUCKLES]

These crackers are incredible, if I can just say that, so.

I gotta dash out.

Love you, okay.

[KISSES]

- All right, you ready? - Yeah, let's go.

[MAYA]

Mommy.

Coming.

[SHEILA]

Hi, Greta.

I'm so sorry to bother you.

I was hoping for a favor.

Is there any chance you could watch Maya today? I hate to ask, but I have to collect voter signatures for Danny.

All hands on deck for the campaign.

[CHUCKLES]

His opponent's in the pocket of big business funded by John Breem.

Los Angelization, here we come.

And not to get all gnarly, but the development would k*ll the wave.

Nothing but malls and chain stores up and down our beautiful coast.

Any interest giving a "f*ck you" to the man? Say no to capitalist thugs, not dr*gs.

Am I right? I would love to, but I can't right now.

But Danny and I both agree that it should be legal.

Danny's been arrested.

And he spent the night in jail.

Yeah, we both did.

Protesting the w*r of aggression in Vietnam, and we'd do it again.

There's tons of cool, young women.

It's a really happening vibe.

It's like you're a better mom, you have more patience, more time.

Uh Ten for him.

None for you.

You're a total f*cking bust.

[BOY]

Jesus, please bless this food.

Let it nourish and strengthen our bodies to help Timothy handle the bullies at school who, I hope, find it in their hearts to love him more.

And help our volleyball team crush Rancho Palmas tonight to clinch the Avocado League.

And also, to give Mother the energy to inspire the workers to construct her walk-in closet correctly this time.

And, of course, give Father the courage and the foresight to keep building a better America where honest, strong and loving families like ours come first.

- Amen.

- [ALL]

Amen.

Beautiful words, my son.

I'm grateful to you for them, and I am grateful for For, um [SHEILA]

What is he even praying for? He already owns everything he lays his eyes on.

How much money does one man need? - For all of you.

- [CHUCKLES]

Let's eat.

[BUNNY SPEAKING ARABIC]

[SPEAKS ARABIC]

Bye.

Eavesdrop much? No, I was just wanting to talk to you about my class.

What about it? You got ten students yet? Ten? Oh, uh, is that the number that we've settled on? Well, has to be ten bodies or over to make it worth my while.

Great.

No problem.

And remember to get a solid ten, you gotta confirm 20 to account for the flake rate.

Huh.

Twenty? You barely had 20 people to invite to your wedding.

[BUNNY]

Oh, and Sheila, bring some damn toilet paper.

[SHEILA]

If you don't have students, you don't have a class.

And if you don't have a class then you might as well just be one of them.

[PEOPLE CHEWING]

Ugh.

Shoveling chicken fried cheese, fat noodle, pizza, doughnut, corn dog, cream pie fat into your face until you're exploding all over your What in God's name? Sweetie? What What are you doing here? - Hi.

- Hi.

Hey.

We were on our way to the library.

It was story time, I swear.

And then they got cranky 'cause I forgot snacks, and then I got cranky 'cause I forgot snacks.

So we we got snacks.

[CHUCKLES]

[SHEILA]

That's not a snack.

That's two adult-sized meals.

Oh.

Oh, it's fine.

Really.

Are you here collecting signatures in a leotard? Oh.

Uh, no.

I just, um I was getting signatures and then I had to, um Well, I didn't have to, but It's kind of embarrassing.

She's halfway through a corn dog.

You think she's judging you? I've been doing aerobics classes.

Teaching, in fact.

Starting tomorrow.

I love it.

You're teaching exercise classes.

That's amazing.

You're amazing.

I really love how it makes me feel awake.

Oh, yeah, right.

That sounds great.

Usually, I'm so tired.

I'm, like, half dead.

One time, Ernie and I tried [WHISPERS]

cocaine but it just ended up making me [WHISPERS]

hit the shitter.

So I tried jogging.

And then I I thought about stopping a lot, so I did.

You should try aerobics.

You might like it.

I should, right? Yeah, I might.

You Do you think I'd stick out like a sore thumb? [SHEILA]

She'll stick out like her fat ass.

You can't let this happen.

No.

- Okay.

- [SHEILA CHUCKLES]

I've counted 1,108 signatures.

I think I think we're good.

[DANNY]

Yeah, that is good.

We're, you know, we're about halfway there.

What? Halfway? We We only need a thousand to get on the ballot.

[DANNY]

Yeah, we need a thousand verified signatures.

You need double that just to cancel out any dupes or unregistered voters.

But, yeah, we're close.

[SHEILA]

You're not close.

You're right back where you f*cking started.

- Oh, sh*t.

- [CRIES]

- Oh.

Honey, it's okay.

It's okay.

- [DANNY]

Oh, sh*t.

Sweetie.

- [SIGHS]

Take her away.

- I got it.

It's okay.

We can be done.

[SIGHS]

She's crabby all the time lately.

- Do you think something's wrong with her? - No, kids just get crabby.

You're just never here this much.

Okay, well, she's not the only one.

I mean, if there's a problem with the signatures, I can No, no, I I just, uh I know my daughter and she's fine.

- Hey.

Hi.

Hey.

Sorry, it was open.

- Oh, hi.

Oh, gosh.

You guys make domesticity look so f*cking sexy, I swear.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

You want coffee? Oh, yeah, I'd f*cking m*rder for some coffee and for some more clipboards.

You know, um, I actually got some of the marine bio heads to start collecting sigs for us, and I only barely had to use my sexuality.

[CHUCKLES]

Barely.

Did you hear that, Sheil? I did.

Yeah.

[SHEILA]

And it wasn't funny.

[SIMONE]

Well, I mean, all hands on deck, right? Oh, um, Sheil, I was just wondering, do you have any, like, I don't know, tennis friends or, like, mom friends who would be willing to help us out? Uh, yeah, let me think.

Sheila's never had any female friends.

That's not true.

Oh.

No, it's it's totally cool.

It was just a thought.

You know, I I also struggle to connect with other women as well.

Or at least they struggled to connect with me.

Aw.

I hope you like it sweet.

Oh, thank you.

[SHEILA]

No students, no time.

Just him and Simone.

And Greta who moves like a puddle of mayo will be the only one in class.

And you won't even break a f*cking sweat in your old ass ballet shoes.

Ballet shoes, ballet shoes, ballet shoes, ballet shoes, ballet shoes, ballet sh I love your place.

It's so atmospheric.

You're the first student of mine who hasn't been here.

What brings you by now? [WHIRRING]

I was so sad to see you close your ballet studio! [WHIRRING CONTINUES]

Did you find a new space yet? Nope.

Nothing I can afford.

Well, uh, I was really at a loss without your classes.

- Um - [WHIRRING]

- Until I found aerobics at at the mall.

- [WHIRRING STOPS]

What mall? John Breem's new development? The man who pushed me out and destroyed my business? Oh, I, uh, maybe.

I'm so I don't know.

Yeah, of course it is.

He's everywhere.

Oh.

Well, um, regardless, I think you would really enjoy aerobics.

It's inspired by ballet, only the moves are faster.

- [GULPING]

- That's why I came by.

I wanted to invite you, and also any of your other former students if they may be interested, to my class.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're you're teaching a class? You're teaching a class? Yeah.

[WOMAN CHUCKLES]

Okay.

I didn't know you liked people enough to do that.

What? No, I like people.

I'm a [STAMMERS]

big fan of people.

You never said hello.

You never made eye contact, ever.

Oh [STAMMERS]

I was probably concentrating on my form.

So were all these people right here.

And yet they remembered that I exist afterwards and they still keep in touch.

And not just because they want something.

[STAMMERS]

Not only did you never come to any of my get-togethers, it was like you didn't even hear me inviting you, you know? And my Cinco de Mayo parties are, like, legend.

[SHEILA]

Oh, I I'm sorry.

[CHUCKLES]

I have a daughter, - and I I'm full-time with - Sure, sure, sure.

Parenting.

You invented it.

Okay, uh, Abigail.

I've obviously offended you somehow at some point, - so I'll just, uh, see myself out.

- [PHONE RINGING]

[SIGHS]

Oh.

Oh, you know you know what? - Um, word of advice on your new calling.

- [RINGING CONTINUES]

Bitchy may play in LA but not in the coastal communities.

- Okay? - [RINGING CONTINUES]

[SHEILA]

She's doling out advice? She's chugging colada straight from the f*cking blender.

She doesn't deserve those contacts.

You do.

See ya, bitch.

[LINE RINGING]

Oh, hi.

It's Sheila Rubin from ballet class.

The studio's been closed for weeks, and, I mean, if you're like me, you probably feel a little lousy without purpose, weighed down And that's why you need my class.

And that's why you need my class.

And that's why you need my class.

You'll be amazed by how quickly it transforms you.

After just one class, you can feel it happening.

You becoming you again.

[MAN ON TV]

I'm wrangling and harnessing our power to influence every situation with intention and purpose.

If we can harness the strength [SHEILA]

Holy sh*t, it's Jack.

of our animal nature, our primal shriek, if you will.

Uh, wrangling it critically, as only humans do, we can convert impulse to order and streamline [SHEILA]

Oh, God.

You used to f*ck that bolo-tie-wearing buffoon.

But first, and if I can address the viewers at home, you need to admit it.

Believe it.

[SHEILA]

Is anyone really buying this sh*t? [JACK]

You have the power to carve your own path.

You have the ability to be a visionary who pushes us all forward.

It all starts with you.

[SCOFFS, CHUCKLES]

- Is something funny? - Excuse me? You seemed, uh, drawn to his teaching, but then you laughed.

Uh, yeah.

Well, I mean, no, I wasn't drawn.

I just, um, I know him in real life.

Oh.

You have one? What one? Uh, a husband? Yeah, I have a husband.

I meant a color TV.

- [CHUCKLES]

- I know you have a husband.

Oh, right, yes.

The ring.

Not the ring.

I know who you are.

You're Sheila Rubin.

I saw the, uh, Save Our Wave coverage.

Smart way to launch a campaign.

But it won't be enough.

You can't stop progress.

[CHUCKLES]

Though I'm not sure you want to.

I'm late.

[SOFTLY]

Bye.

[JACK]

Guess what, Bill.

I believed.

And I took it.

And I know you booked me on the show, but this is something that I manifested.

Right on.

I have to take, like, an epic sh*t.

This is k*ller.

- I'm happy to be of service.

- Right on.

Oh, I gotta show you, I sliced together some dynamic B-roll.

Should be, like, truly impactful for Save Our Wave.

Yeah, sure.

I'd love to see it.

Right on.

Wanna check it out after class? Yeah, well, I can't today, but, uh, I could tomorrow.

[SLURPS]

You know, I built this studio alone.

I climbed over dicks and went through asses because I had a dream.

A clean studio with a bitchin' sound system.

If you screw this up, you're done here.

You're not welcome back.

Duly noted.

[SLURPING]

[SHEILA]

You should've never let her come.

She's gonna be destroyed.

But here we go.

- Thank you all for coming.

- [CHATTERING]

This is gonna be great.

Just follow along and you'll you'll get it.

[SIGHS]

[CASSETTE DECK CLICKS]

I'm sorry.

Does anyone know how this these speakers work? You have to press "power".

Thanks.

["JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH" PLAYING]

Let's do this thing.

Five, six, seven, eight.

To the right.

Two, three.

Oh, sorry, so the Your left.

So let's do it again.

Okay.

I meant your left.

[CHUCKLES]

Five, six, seven, eight.

To the right.

I mean, left.

Sh Sorry.

Let me do that again.

Okay.

Five, six, seven, eight.

To the left.

Two, three.

Back, two, three.

Back, two, three.

Back.

To the right.

To the left.

And punch, and punch, and sweep to the right.

Oh, I meant left.

Sweep, sweep.

Toss, toss, toss.

March it out.

March it out.

That's it.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

March it out.

And out.

That's right.

And up.

Two, up, up.

One, two, up, up.

One, two, up, up.

One.

That's it.

Okay.

[SHEILA]

You're nothing.

Worse than nothing.

- You're a ghost.

A fat ghost.

- [MUSIC DISTORTS]

The world's first fat f*cking ghost.

Fat f*cking ghost.

Fat use Don't look in my eyes.

Look in yours.

- [MUSIC CONTINUES]

- Find you.

Every ugly thought you've ever had about yourself, your body, your right to be here.

Use it.

Let it fuel you.

Only you have the power to change you.

Are you ready to change? [WOMEN]

Whoo! - Starting right now.

- [WOMAN]

Whoo! - Are you ready to change? - [WOMAN]

Yes! Yes! - Let's do this thing! - [WOMEN CHEERING]

Okay! Let's punch it out, ladies! Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch! [GRUNTS]

Punch! Punch, punch, punch, punch! [MUSIC FADES]

- [WOMAN 1]

Great class, Sheila.

- [SIGHS]

[WOMAN 2]

Such a great class.

Didn't think you could do that.

I know.

[PANTS]

It helped.

[BUNNY]

Nice to see that.

People usually wanna be coddled in this country.

You're not from here? No one's from here, really.

But if you want a teaching spot, it's yours.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow.

And I should give you your cut.

That's it? Well, I take 60%.

You're using my moves, my studio.

Welcome to America.

None of this is yours.

[SNIFFING, SOBBING]

Hey.

[CHUCKLES]

- [SNIFFS]

- The first class is always the hardest.

Oh, no.

Mm-mmm.

I'm not like you.

[SNIFFS]

I can't keep up or blend in or wear a leotard.

Oh, my God.

I look like a fricking beached whale.

[SNIFFLES]

[SHEILA]

Once they're on the beach, they're done for.

Just leave her.

I wanna, like [SNIFFS]

I wanna own my pain [SNIFFS]

you know? But I don't know, sometimes I [GRETA SOBBING]

Sometimes I feel too much, right.

Like, I I feel so low, like I'm nothing.

[SOBBING, SNIFFS]

I'm rambling.

I'm sorry.

You don't [CHUCKLES]

You don't understand.

[CHUCKLES, SNIFFS]

How could you understand something so pathetic? [SNIFFS]

[SHEILA]

Don't do it.

You can't tell her.

You can open that door.

I could come to your house.

I could teach you aerobics there.

No one else would see.

Make you strong.

Just don't give up.

- [DOOR OPENS]

- Oh, there they are.

- [SHEILA CHUCKLES]

- [MAYA]

Hi, Daddy! - Hey, sweetie.

- [SHEILA]

So sorry I'm late.

We got stuck running errands, and then Thanks.

And, uh, there was a line at the store.

Everything okay? Yeah, we, uh, we tallied up the petitions, and we got over 2,000.

I'm officially on the ballot! - Oh, really? - Yes.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, my God.

Congrats.

I couldn't have done any of this without you.

You know that, right? [SHEILA]

He doesn't believe that for a second.

And I [STUTTERS]

I think you're right.

Simone and her g*ng, they've been amazing, but, uh, we need more formal organization.

We should bite the b*llet.

Hire a campaign manager.

Oh.

Now? Shouldn't we wait till we raise the money first? Well, no, just take it out of our savings.

And then the campaign will pay us back.

[CAN TAB POPS]

Nothing wrong with betting on yourself, right? [SQUEALS]

[SHEILA]

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

Clap, punch, kick.

- [VIDEO CAMERA WHIRRING]

- [WAVES LAPPING]

[SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

- [MUSIC ENDS]

- You like it? I don't like it.

I see it.

[MAYA CRYING]

[YAWNS]

Sheila.

I think Maya Sheil? - [MAYA CONTINUES CRYING]

- [GROANS]

Oh, God.

[SIGHS]

Sheila.

Sheila! ["HARDEN MY HEART" PLAYING]

[MAYA GROANING]

It's okay.

[KISSES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MAYA GROANING]

All right.

It's gonna be all right.

- [GROANING]

- [SOFTLY]

It's gonna be all right.

[SIGHS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC FADES]