01x04 - Let's Get This Party Started

[bunniefuu]

f*ck.

Steverino.

Hey, man.

It's Danny Rubin.

Yeah, yeah, hi.

No, I'm doing great.

I'm doing great.

How about yourself? - Just ask.

- Yeah, no.

She's great.

She's great.

They actually are both are doing really great.

You know, we really should try to get them together and see if we What's that? Oh, you did? I was I have a little bit of news myself.

- I'm gonna be running for office.

- Ask for money.

It is.

It is great.

Uh, but, you know, it is also pricey, and so I wanted to What? Oh, no, yes.

Yeah, of course.

Absolutely.

All right, well, you tell Becs the same, and, uh, I'll talk to you later.

Thanks, Steve.

Okay, bye.

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

- How are you doing? - Really great.

You try asking Steven f*cking Osterman for cash.

Spoiled little piece of sh*t.

Couldn't find his own ass from his dad's wallet at Berkeley, and now he's the CEO of a g*dd*mn telecom outfit? And I am exhausted.

I couldn't get back to sleep last night.

I know.

I am so sorry again, babe.

I just I thought I could just quickly go out, find a 24-hour pharmacy.

And I just didn't wanna wake you.

Well, you could've left a note.

You could be less of a whiny little bitch.

You want some eggs Benedict? No, thank you.

I'm not hungry.

Begging these rich ding-dongs for cash upsets my stomach.

Eventually, one of these rich ding-dongs is gonna pony up.

So Maya's just gone back to sleep.

So can you check on her between your calls? Thanks.

Just 'cause you'll be here.

Wait, what? What? What? Where Where are you going? I have to run a few errands.

Uh, if she grouses, just give her her eardrops.

There's eggs Benedict on the counter for you.

You sound so good, baby.

Keep up the calls.

Keep them up.

Bye.

Okay.

You got here a little later than you'd hoped, but you have an hour.

Make it count.

Hi.

Hello? Greta? Holy f*cking rich people.

Uh, yeah, that's every g*dd*mn gadget you can buy in the store.

And some you can't.

Ernie's got connections.

He gets things first.

Everything he wants.

You forget about our workout date? No, I didn't.

I just couldn't make myself get dressed this morning.

You ever have one of those days where you just can't? Yeah, I do.

And you know what helps me shake it off is a good, hard workout.

I can wait.

You wanna go change? Into someone who isn't a lazy, spoiled mess? I think Ernie's having an affair.

Oh.

- He's hiding something.

I know it.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

It's my fault.

I pulled a bait-and-switch on him.

He married one woman and he got this.

You know what I did this morning? I got up before anyone, before the sun rose.

I could've done anything.

I could've gone for a jog.

And you know what I did? I baked a batch of oatmeal cookies, then I ate them all one by one while the sun came up.

So I don't think there's much point in working out.

Not now.

You know exactly how she feels.

Shame, rinse, repeat.

You can't do anything about that now, but you can change this moment right now if you move and you sweat.

I promise.

I guess.

One brick today, one brick tomorrow, and pretty soon you've built something.

Something solid that's all yours.

Yeah, thank you.

I just I can't.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna see if Miriam's defrosting the chicken.

f*ck it.

You're not leaving here empty-handed.

It's one video camera.

You saw how many g*dd*mn gadgets he had.

He probably won't even notice it's gone.

Rich assh*le like him with more money than he knows what to do with in the first place.

- Hey.

Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God.

- I didn't see you there.

- Oh, sorry.

Didn't mean to scare ya.

I just wanted to see if, uh, you and Danny were gonna join us on Thursday.

The club.

Did Greta forget to invite you? Ah, I I think she might've.

- Okay.

Well, it's grunion run time - Oh.

and the beach club does a big, big party every year.

Lots of fun, very casual.

Beer in the bottle.

That kind of thing.

Perfect chance to press some flesh, spread the word about Danny's campaign.

Yes, of course.

I I That sounds Yes, we'll be there.

All righty.

See you then.

Ahoy! Okay.

Drive, you f*cking idiot.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, you don't have a couch in the van? I don't have a f*cking couch, man.

I had to get rid of it.

- I got bedbugs in the couch.

- What? - Oh, sh*t.

So you did have one in there.

- Oh, God.

- I did.

- Oh, God.

That is the best.

I I fit a whole couch in there and then fixed the butt Uh-oh.

Tequila Sheila.

Oh, you get in here and give me some love.

He's always gotta press it up against you.

Oh, your hair smells exactly the same, like lady parts and pineapple.

Ugh, Jerry! What, uh? Gosh, it's been so long.

What brings you down here? And in this corner, heavyweight champion of Bay Area activism and my new campaign manager, Jerry Goldman! Oh, man.

Back together again.

- Like beans and rice.

- Like dykes and dogs.

Can I talk to you for a second? - Me? - Yeah.

- Okay, yeah.

- Right back, lovebirds.

- I'm gonna drain the vein, okay? - Okay.

Uh, babe.

Before you start, okay, Jerry does this for a living.

I mean, he got Stanley Bukowski elected up there, you know? And Stanley, he thought Lenin was too open-minded.

This isn't San Francisco, and he doesn't know the community, and they don't go with flows here.

Can you give him some credit, all right? Jerry is going to help me do a lot of the big work and still stay true to myself.

I just wish that we talked about it first.

I'm assuming that he's not doing this for free.

We decided to use our savings.

What the hell else are they for? The savings are imaginary.

A ghost.

Couldn't help but overhear.

I hate to take dinero from comrades, but I'm actually gonna need that money pronto.

- Just kind of my policy in this capacity.

- Of course, Jer.

No, we totally respect that.

You know what I've been dreaming of lately? That it's ten years ago and you're still relevant? Those falafel balls you used to make.

I could put away a dozen of those, and maybe another cold beer to go with? Jerry, everybody slept with Trish.

- That's not an accomplishment.

- Oh, man.

If everyone did it, what makes it special that you did it? - Even Ricky? - Jer Six times.

Junior year.

No.

Why didn't I get to do that? Well, I mean, I thought every single professor I had was attractive.

I don't know.

Yes, every one of them.

I don't know if that means I love education or sex.

- Need some chairs, tables.

- Oh, forget chairs.

You're out there living.

- Oh.

Hey - True, man.

- It's about money - Were you boiling eggs? - we need to get the ground game going.

- Huh? Oh, sh*t.

Yeah, sorry.

- We went on a sunrise brainstorm session.

- We need to mobilize three groups.

- Shh.

Maya's still sleeping.

- The geezers, wheezers, and the teasers.

Now, the geezers are the old folks.

The wheezers are the people concerned about air quality.

- Actually.

Oh.

Before I forget - And the tea Ernie invited us to the grunion run party at the Shore Club.

He said it'd be a smart way to drum up some support.

- Mmm, all right.

- The Shore Club? Like a country club? That's not your scene, Dan Man.

Yeah, but if we're talking about raising money Well, I defer to your hard-earned expertise on country clubs, Sheil.

I mean, does this Dinah Shore joint even let Jews in? - As of seven years ago, yes.

- Oh, seven years.

You know, it could be a good idea.

I don't know.

Maybe make a few more high-profile contacts, maybe? Okay.

I get it.

In Reagan San Diego, you have to kiss some soft, white ass.

But word to the wise, don't try to play by their rules.

You won't win.

And I'm not just talking about the election.

In your soul, you will feel like a pandering schmuck.

You need to hold on to your integrity like it's the last piece of tail before the f*ring squad.

Because at the end of the day, brother, that's all you got.

Yeah.

No one is talking about losing integrity.

It's a cocktail party full of people with money.

Which is what you like to get paid with.

Right, Jer? Oh, you mean that thing that you grew up with, Sheil? Uh-oh.

Are your parents providing any ducats to this campaign - Okay.

- speaking of, or are we all still pretending like they don't exist? That's enough, Jer.

Come on.

Hey, I never told you who the teasers are.

The teasers are the ladies.

The gals who are going to fall for your charm and drag their dipshit husbands to the voting booths to vote with them.

Am I right? The hair of the p*ssy can pull a freight train.

You know that better than anybody.

Raise it a little bit and, uh, put it in the center.

Yeah, center it a little bit.

And a little to the left.

What's all this? Bunny and me are moving back into the van.

Need to stay, you know, nimble.

Hey, did you give any more thought to the whole, like, campaign video thing? 'Cause I got some ideas.

Like Endless Summer meets Triumph of the Will.

I do, but class is starting, so I gotta get in there.

You got a good crowd in there.

- You uncomfortable? - Yes.

- You wanna stop? - Yes.

Good.

That's the sweet spot.

That's where the change happens.

Gonna push through.

Now do what you don't wanna do.

High knees in three, two, one, together and four, three, two, one.

"A little brown bear ate all his berries and cream.

But he was still a little hungry bear.

Said to his mommy, 'Can't I have just one more berry?' And she said, 'Little bear, we mustn't be greedy.

There must be enough to last the very long winter ahead.

Now it's time to go to sleep, my precious one'.

But grumbly tummies don't make for sleepy little bears".

It's not forever, you know.

It's just Is he helping us or are we helping him? Well, why can't it be both? I got into this campaign to make a difference and Jerry keeps me honest.

I'm worried that he's gonna distract you.

The Shore Club.

I mean, yes, that's the Establishment, but Do you remember when you brought me to the Golf Club? Who do you think that ticked off more? Your dad or your mom? This liberal Jew pawing at you at the table reeking of Maui Wowie.

You know, sometimes I think you only started dating me just to piss them off.

I really think the Shore Club, if you show those people who you really are, they'll respond.

They'll write checks.

How could they not? And it wasn't just to piss them off.

But that was pretty great too.

Oh, of course John Breem is here.

Is that his wife? She's really pretty.

Mmm, except for the nose.

- Oh, hi.

- Ah.

Hi.

Oh, my God.

You look amazing.

So do you.

Gosh.

Those colors.

Oh, yeah, I'm Yes, colorful.

Where's Danny? Oh, uh, he just had to do some work with our new campaign manager, but he should be here any minute.

Okay, 'cause, uh, Breem brought the competition, and we don't want Mike Schmidt gobbling up all the shrimp cocktail donations, do we? That's funny.

Ah, oh, hey, there's Chuck Ternes.

I should go say hey while I'm still sober.

- Okay.

Oh.

- Okay.

He used to always get me a drink, and now I gotta get my own.

Oh, all couples take each other for granted eventually.

Oh, yes.

Maybe she's here, the woman he's sleeping with, right? It'd be so I wonder who it is.

I wonder if I know her.

It's too bad, man.

I really liked Brandy a lot - Brenda.

Yeah.

- Brenda.

Yeah.

- I thought she'd be different.

- Me too.

I thought she was the one.

I mean, she studied library sciences.

How f*cking cute is that? But she turned out to be another money-grubbing bitch.

That's rough, dude.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Not gonna lie, it's disappointing.

I mean, in the old days there was no separation.

Work, play, dr*gs, sex.

It was all for a better world.

These days - f*ck.

- It's all rules, expectations.

- Exactly.

Exactly, man.

- Right? I hate to admit it, but I think it's over.

We, uh We gotta get going.

- Nah, man.

Let's just hang out.

- Oh, my Goddess! Oh, you guys came out from the grunion run too? - Yeah.

- Of course you did.

It's the most magical night of the year.

This was meant to be.

- Come on.

Let's go.

Come on! - Oh, um Yeah, okay.

Jerry.

- Oh, yeah.

- All right.

Yeah.

I just don't get how they always remember.

Well, it's their mating ritual.

So it's pretty important to them.

But every year, the exact same spot? They're fish.

How do they know? The reproductive drive, it's a powerful and elemental force I guess we'll never understand it.

And we don't have to.

God's will doesn't have to make sense to us.

It's science.

What doesn't make sense is how you fuckwits get to have so much money and power.

Uh, it's one of the beautiful mysteries of the ocean that we're so blessed to enjoy in our community, and why it's so important to protect it.

I'm always saying that too.

You must meet my husband.

His whole conservation platform is about preserving our coastline from destruction and development.

Well, where is he? Get him over here.

That's a good question.

Where the f*ck is he? Of course, the fish themselves are disgusting, inedible.

They are not that bad.

Greasy, smelly, like like like mackerel someone left in the sun.

I seem to remember you enjoying them an awful lot last year.

And so did you.

So don't act like you're so picky.

Oh, good.

It's the Harrisons.

Thought they were spending the whole summer in Tahoe.

Come on, Sheils.

That assh*le's not coming.

Going for a swim? I didn't bring my suit.

Skinny dip in the moonlight then? I know the club lets democrats in now, but I'm pretty sure that nudists are still off-limits.

Any sign of the grunion? Not yet.

- Hope we didn't scare them off.

- Nah.

They're much too stupid to be scared of us.

I wouldn't underestimate them.

You like to say that you can't stop progress? Try stopping nature.

Is that what I said? Oh.

I guess it must be.

Struck such a chord with you.

- What the hell was that? - 'Scuse me.

Was nice talking to you.

It's happening, and it's f*cking beautiful.

You have a real aptitude for this apparently.

Watching horny fish get caught? Uh, getting people to open their wallets.

Charming the uncharmable.

Chuck, Lisa Harrison, the Suttons.

Preston Beale resents giving pennies to UNICEF, but he says he's writing you a check.

Well, I haven't had a chance to ask you what you'll be contributing to Danny's campaign yet.

I'll tell you what.

Whatever you raise tonight, I'll match it.

And I hope Danny appreciates it.

Wherever he is.

Uh, hi, um, Mrs uh, Rubin I Maya went down at 7:30.

Tequila Sheila.

You want one of these little f*ckers? They're pretty rank The party is over.

Party is over! Hey! Did you see the grunion? You wanna know my theory? I'm good.

Oh, there she is.

Foxy face.

Foxy wife.

Mmm.

How lucky am I, huh? Have so much Ow.

Ow.

What the f*ck? - Jesus Chr - Where the f*ck were you? Okay.

Whoa! We were headed over, and then we ran into some supporters and we started talking campaign talk, and then they were going to the beach.

- We were going that way anyways - All by myself all night long! No idea where you were, apologizing for you to Ernie, to everybody like some f*cking idiot.

I tried to tell you that that is not my scene.

Well, you think it's mine? You think I wanna be there by myself f*cking asking these people for money for someone who couldn't even show up? Okay, let's just Can we shh for a second? How high are you right now because you look f*cking ridiculous.

- What are you wearing? - I found this at the beach and it is keeping me safe, and I am high.

And I'll tell you what, you should be too.

Because what the f*ck is going on with you, huh? Are you trying to put this on me? What? No.

Yes.

Yes, because at one point, you used to be a pretty cool chick.

Oh, you f Yeah, I I have never been cool.

I only just f*cking pretend to be cool for you, you f*cking All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

- You are really g*dd*mn strong.

- f*ck off.

Okay.

I f*cked up.

I f*cked up.

Hey.

Okay? I should've been there, and I wasn't.

All right, babe? I'm really f*cking sorry.

I succumbed to the easy path as per usual, all right? But you you are the f*cking sun to me.

You know that, right? And none of this was happening without you.

You saved it.

You thought of Save Our Wave.

You just summoned that out of nothing like a f*cking sorceress.

A visionary.

Now look, maybe you don't think that you're cool, but from where I'm sitting you are the coolest f*cking chick who has ever walked this earth.

I raised $2,000 tonight without your help.

Hell yes, babe.

God, do you not see what a f*cking rock star you are? I mean, holy sh*t.

Do you want this? Yes.

More than anything.

Then you gotta step up.

Oh, man.

Oh, hey, babe.

I got this.

This is my mess.

I'll take care of it, all right.

You go get some rest.

- Really? - Yeah.

Today will be different.

Today will be better.

Today you will speak out, be heard.

- It's for you, babe.

- Oh.

And can you Can you start another pot of coffee? - We're dragging ass.

A lot of work to do.

- Mm-hmm.

- Hello? - Oh, hey.

Sorry to call you so early, but I have to cancel our workout appointment again.

- Greta, uh - Pick me up.

Apparently our new video camera went missing.

It's gotta be around here somewhere, but Ernie's, like, going berserk.

- Oh, I, uh Yeah.

- Pick me up.

- I'm so sorry.

- Pick me up.

- Um, I hope that it turns up.

- Pick me up.

Yeah, so do I.

Anyway, I'll see you at school.

Bye.

- Yeah.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

- Pick me up.

Pick me up.

Pick me up.

- So - Up, up, up.

- I'm hungry, hungry, hungry.

- Yeah? What do you want? - Hungry.

I'm hungry.

- So, um.

I, uh I have an idea.

I thought we could do a campaign video for Save Our Wave.

- There's a young filmmaker - Peanut butter.

uh, with a really compelling visual sense.

He's actually a surfer.

And I thought we could enlist him like with these images, - um, and combine the cultural - Babe, babe, babe.

Seriously.

We're dying over here.

The coffee? You can take her since you're home working.

Wait, what? Where are you going? Out.

Maybe she's on her rag? Rad.

I'm starving.

Holy sh*t.

That is a sweet piece of machinery right there.

Are you finally ready to make that campaign video? f*ck the campaign video.

I'm ready to make a fortune.