01x02 - Big Trouble in Little Apartment

[bunniefuu]

Raven: Raven's Home was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Ooh-oo-hoo, ooh-oo-hoo, ooh-oo-hoo! (both laugh) Man, it's so awesome sharin' a room with you! We're like brothers who live with each other's mothers.

More like dudes who didn't know each other that well, but their moms moved in together to save money.

I like the way I said it 'cause it rhymed.

All right, check it out.

I'm about to dunk.

Too bad we don't have a trampoline.

That's what I had in my old bedroom.

Trampoline? What are you talkin' about? Oh, it's like a sheet connected by a spring to a frame Levi, I know what a trampoline is.

You had one in your room? It was awesome.

I miss that room.

Well we don't need a trampoline to make this room awesome! Toss me the ball, I'm goin' off the bed this time.

Dunk it like a bounce! Aah! (Thuds) Nothin' but floor! Uh, why aren't y'all gettin' ready for school? I was showin' Levi how to dunk.

(laughs) Now you know the only person in this house who's gonna show Levi how to dunk is me.

Watch out! Lemme take you to flight school, chumps! Oh! Oh! Oh! Catch it! Spin it! Kiss it! Huh! Hah! Ooh! (both laughing) Still got it! Now if you'll excuse me, I need put some ointment on it.

Ohhh hey - Yo Let me tell you somethin' Had my vision all worked out But then life had other plans Tell em, Rae It's crazy when things turn upside down But you gotta get up and take that chance Maybe I'm just finding my way now - Learning how to fly - And we're gonna be okay - You know I got you, right We might be wild, but you know that we make it work We're just kids caught up in a crazy world - Come on! - It's Raven's Home - Yep! We get loud! - It's Raven's Home It's our crowd! Might be tough, but together we make it look good - It's Raven's Home - When it's tough - It's Raven's Home - We got love 'Cause no matter the weather You know we gon' shine There for each other, you know it's our time (Raven laughing) Yep! That's us.

(laughing) Mom, do you know where my black boots are? Uh, did you check the bookshelf? No, that's just for my shirts and pants.

- What about the China cabinet? - No, that's for my socks, underwear, and large serving spoons.

Not a lotta places to put my stuff.

Yeah, reminds me of that weekend we spent in that submarine, - right, Rae? - Yeah! (laughs) Yeah! Why did you spend the weekend on a submarine? 'Cause there's some things you can't do on a boat! (Chelsea and Raven laugh) - Mom? - Yeah.

Uh, I've been thinking about our living situation.

Me too.

Me too, Nia, and let me tell you, I have not had this much fun in so long.

I love having Chelsea and Levi live here, right? Yeah! Yeah, me too.

Yeah, could you do me a favor and check on your brother and Levi? I think your dad's gonna be here to pick you up for school any minute.

(doorbell rings) Oh, hey, Devon! Hey, Chels.

Kids ready for school? Yeah.

Think so.

Uh, you didn't have to come up here.

I would've sent them down.

Now can't I just stop by to say hello to my lovely ex-wife? Mm-hm.

You need me to tie your tie, don't you? - Yes! Yes.

- (laughs) Yes.

Come here.

Okay, spill it.

Why you all fancy and spiffy? Well, I have a big interview today with the head of the network.

And it's a good chance they're finally gonna offer me that weekday weatherman slot.

(gasp) Like how good of a chance, like like what percentage? Chels, Chels, come here.

He's about to do it.

He's about to do it.

Ooh, ooh.

Well, Raven, today's forecast calls for a high-pressure situation, - but if I keep a cool front - Mm-hm.

I'd say I have an 85 to 90% chance of blowin' their minds.

I don't care if we're divorced, that is hot.

Kids: Eww! (laughs) Hey, guys, you ready to go? Yeah, just a second.

Hey, Daddy.

- Hey, Aunt Chelsea? - Yeah? That trampoline Levi had in his room how big was it? Well, not that big.

It couldn't have been.

It had to fit between the pinball machine and the half-pipe.

No wonder he misses his old room.

Movin' is the only option.

That's disappointing.

Levi's gonna move! What are you talkin' about? Oh, heh, it's just a song I came up with.

L L Levi's gonna move that booty.

Move that booty! Move, move, that booty Stop talkin' about Levi's booty and get to school.

Okay.

Both: That's your son! You comin', Nia? I'm just waiting for Tess.

So? How'd it go when you told your ma you didn't wanna sleep on the couch anymore? - I didn't tell her.

- You gotta say something! I'm not like you, Tess.

I can't just say, "Yo, I got mad love for you, Ma", but I ain't about that couch life.

" Yo, I don't sound like that.

I got mad love for you, Mia, but I ain't about that impression.

She's just so happy.

I don't know what to do.

Every night I sleep on a cushion that spent all day absorbing my brother's butt sweat.

And you sleep with your mouth open! Do you have any gum? Yeah, but it's butt sweat flavored.

What is wrong with you? Mom, you're home.

Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure.

Sure, Booker, yeah, I don't need five minutes to unwind after I had a long day at work.

That's good, 'cause this is important.

I'm worried that Levi doesn't like our room, so I thought I'd get him some stuff to make him feel more at home.

Ohh, aren't you sweet? Okay, what were you thinkin'? Like, uh, ooh, a bean bag? No, no, no.

A multi-colored light bulb? Actually, I was thinking a Thunder Bounce trampoline! What I tell you about thinking? It don't work for you.

But it's on sale, same-day delivery! Free installation! How are these words not convincing you? They're convincing me! I'm sorry, are you still talking? 'Cause I stopped listening.

- (dramatic music playing) - (Heart b*ating) (clicks) (dings) Whoa-ho-ho-ho, I'm never felt more alive! (laughing) - (bedroom door slams shut) - (door opens) Hey, Rae, I'm home! Oh hey, Chels.

Look at you doin' laundry! Yeah, I thought I'd help out.

Okay, that's cute, that's cute.

Um, this isn't our laundry.

How do you know? Well, there's no one in this house named "Swiz Money.

" Man, I gotta go back to the laundry room! And fast.

From the size of these underpants, Swiz Money is not someone you oughta mess with.

Am I right? (knocking on door) Booker, you in there? No! You can't come in.

Why? I just farted.

Well, can you come out here? All right, what do you want? Make it quick.

Well, I just wanted to talk to you about Aunt Chelsea and Levi living here.

- What about it? - Well, you don't think it's gonna be - like this forever, do you? - Man, I hope so.

I love it.

Levi loves it.

Un Unless he doesn't love it.

- Did he say something to you? - No! No.

I just need some advice.

My advice? But I always come to you.

Just do what you would tell me to do.

Hey! That was pretty good advice! Glad I could help! - No, I just need some - (door closes) Good talk.

Thanks for bringing this up the fire escape, buddy.

Levi's gonna love it! Huh? Huh-huh? Now how great is this? I can't believe your mom let you get it! Uh Yeah.

My mom just wants you to feel at home.

If you thanked my mom, she'd say, "Don't mention it," so don't.

Especially to my mom.

Why do you keep saying "mom" like that? 'Cause she hates it when I call her Raven.

Come on, let's bounce.

Both: One! Two! Three! Four! 6,042! 6,043! Why'd you stop? I got tramp cramp! You're probably just dehydrated.

What was your favorite drink at your old house? Well, I did enjoy a sparkling pineapple juice.

One sparklin' pineapple juice comin' up.

Sparklin' pineapple juice.

It's the fanciest thing I've ever heard! - Hey, baby, how's it goin'? - It'd be goin' a whole lot better if we had some sparklin' pineapple juice.

Sparklin' pineapple juice? This ain't no country club.

No.

No.

Almond milk? How do you milk an almond? Uh, Booker, what are you doing? Freaking out.

I thought Levi and Aunt Chelsea living here was going great, - but maybe it's not.

- Yes! Yes, exactly.

This is what I was trying to talk to you about.

I mean, sometimes you wish things could go back to the way they were.

Is it so wrong to want a little privacy? Privacy? You think Levi wants privacy? - I was talking about me.

- Why do you need privacy? Nia! Nia! Where do you keep your bras? That! That's why I need privacy.

That is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I know.

I know.

She's so adorable.

Okay, so she wanted me to buy her some, 'cause she went to middle school and she wanted to be like all the big girls, but it's like a head band, it's like (women laughing) - Well, that is adorable! - I know.

It's so small, like I can just Hey, Mom! I just I just want to put it on! - It's so c - We're done talking about this! What? Hey, Booker.

Where'd you go? Wait.

What is that? That's Nia's bra.

Mom says it's totally natural and nothing to laugh about.

That's a bra? I thought Mom shrunk all my t*nk tops.

(forced chuckling) I'm gonna go hang out on the roof deck until college.

Well, don't forget your bra, sweetie.

It was terrible, Tess.

She was waving my bra all over the living room.

I can't do this anymore.

Why don't you come live with me? You can sleep on the couch! You know what? As I'm saying it, I hear everything that's wrong with it.

I don't know what to do.

My mom is living with her best friend, and Booker has the little brother he's always wanted.

I'm the only one who isn't happy.

Then talk to your mom.

When I lost Winky the hamster, I sat down with my mom and we talked about it.

And when we stood up, my problem was solved.

- How? - The hamster was hiding under her butt the whole time.

I can't talk to my mom about this.

Well, you have to talk to someone.

That's what parents are for.

That is what parents are for! Tess, you just gave me an idea! You're a really great friend but a terrible hamster owner.

Oh, I didn't own that hamster.

I was pet sitting.

Hey, buddy.

C Can I come in, or do you need some privacy? Wow, it's nice of you to ask.

Usually you just I can't take this anymore! Give it to me straight, do you hate livin' here? Why would I hate living here? Because, your old room had all this great stuff, so I used my mom's credit card to buy this trampoline, but you're already sick of it, and we don't have any pineapple juice and now you're gonna move out! I'm not gonna move out.

But I had a vision of you moving.

And I don't want you to leave.

Booker, I love living here.

So I had a bunch of great stuff at my old house.

You know what I didn't have? Your own laser tag arena? No.

I had that.

I didn't have a brother.

I didn't have anyone to hang out with, but now I have you.

Yeah, you do.

But wait if my vision wasn't about you moving, - who was it about? - I don't know.

Is someone not happy livin' here? Let me think about this.

There's Mom, Aunt Chelsea, you, me Mom, Aunt Chelsea, you, me Get there.

- Oh, no, it's Nia! - There you go.

I gotta go find her.

Uh, when did Nia put a poster of Channing Tatum on the ceiling? Oh, that's not Nia's.

No.

No, I put that up there when I moved in.

I ain't mad at it.

Mom, have you seen Nia? I just checked the roof deck and she's not there.

- She isn't? - She's nowhere in the apartment, either.

Well, that girl knows better than to leave this house without permission.

She tried to talk to me earlier.

Somethin' about privacy, but I wasn't listening.

I think she's upset.

Privacy? Well, she is sleeping in the living room.

Yeah, but she said she was okay with that.

- What are you doin'? - Well, I'm trackin' her phone.

You can do that? How do you think I find you when you get lost at the mall? What is she doing at Parlez Vous Cafe? Well, hopefully ordering off the happy hour menu.

That place is expensive.

Excuse me, hi.

It says that my daughter is here.

Have you seen her? She's kinda There she is, there she is right there.

Devon? Now why does she sneak out to see Devon? - Hey, Mom! - Oh snap! What are you doin' out here unsupervised? I couldn't just stay at home.

I had to find out what's up with Nia.

That's real sweet of you, but you know you in trouble, right? - Dang.

- Stay outta sight.

Raven: All right.

Ooh-wee.

Hey, Booker, you see all these flavors? - Wow! Yes, I can! - Here, put these in your purse! I guess I was wondering if maybe I could come live with you? Both: Oh, no.

Nia, you wanna live with me? Just for a while.

Our place is just so crazy right now, I feel like like there's no room for me.

Well, have you talked to your mom about this? (sighs) Not yet.

I can't believe Nia wants to move in with her dad.

- Let's just go talk to her.

- No, no, no, we can't do that.

Then she'll think that I came down here to spy on her.

- Isn't that what we're doing? - Shhh! I'm tryin' to listen! Hi.

Can I help you? Oh.

Oh, right, I need to make coffee because I work here, got you.

Booker, I need a cup of coffee.

Mom, it's after four, you'll be up all night! It's not for me! Look, Nia, there's something you need to know.

That job interview I had today? I got it! Dad, that's amazing! But it's not in Chicago.

Look, Nia, I'm gonna be the weekday weatherman at a station in Dallas.

You're moving? (coffee grinder running) Shh! Shh! Shh! Keep it down! It's not my fault! We grind to order.

This is not how I wanted to tell you.

I I was hopin' to have you, Book, your mom together.

Look, Nia, I would love for you to come live with me, but we're not talkin' about movin' across town.

I'd be living in Texas? Sweetheart, listen, this is a huge change, okay? But if it's what you want then we could talk to your mom about it.

- (flicking switch) - (steam blasting) (banging on machine) What did you do? I don't know, I pushed a bunch of buttons and I think I broke it! (machine shaking and whining) What is goin' on back there? (steam sh**ting out) (crash) Uh-oh! Gotta go! (both thud) Nia will be home any second.

Go act like you've been in your room all night.

She's not really gonna leave, is she? - I hope not.

- But if she stays, she still in more trouble - than I am, right? - Go to your room, go to your room! Hey, Rae, I'm glad you're home, I really need to show you something.

Chels, Devon is moving to Texas, and I think Nia's moving with him.

What? Are you sure? Yes, no, I don't know, maybe! Chels, I can't have my baby girl leave me.

Hey, Rae.

I hope you weren't worried, but Nia was with me.

Thanks, Devon.

I'm just glad she's safe.

Talk to your mom? Okay.

Baby, what's goin' on? I don't know how to say this, but Hey, guys, if I could get your attention real quick.

I just wanna show you something.

Hey, Chels? Could I talk to my daughter? Nia you can talk to me about anything.

You know that, right? Okay, I love having Aunt Chelsea and Levi here, but I feel like there's no room for me.

My whole life is out in front of everybody.

I really wanna be okay with it, but I'm not.

Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me this sooner? You were so happy, and and Booker loves living with Levi.

I didn't want to be the one to ruin things.

No, no, sweetie, you're You can't ruin anything.

I'm sorry I didn't realize you're unhappy.

Guys, real quick.

If I could just show you something.

Hey, Chels.

Really! Not now! All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Listen, baby girl.

You and your brother are the best things that ever happened to me.

So there's nothing more important than your happiness.

All right? We're gonna find a way to fix this.

Mmm, I love you, but I do have a confession to make.

(whispering) Uh I was at the cafe tonight.

(whispering) I know.

(normal voice) You blew up a coffee cart.

But I did it because I love you.

(laughs) Please don't move.

I don't wanna move.

I don't want you to move.

You won't have to! I'm sorry, I just really need to show you guys something! Surprise! (Laughs) Oh my gosh! It's my old room, but but better.

Chels, you did this? Oh, Levi helped.

I mean, I may not be good at laundry, you know, or cooking, but I can redecorate a bedroom, like a boss! (Laughs) I'd love it! Thank you, Aunt Chels.

That was really cool of you and Aunt Chels.

It's best for everyone.

Movin' is the only option.

That's disappointing.

That was my vision! This is why I thought you were moving! Did you see this box break? 'Cause that would've been nice to know.

Thanks, again, Aunt Chels.

Is that Channing Tatum? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he's comin' with me.

Wait.

You're not leaving, are you? Oh, no, no.

I got a roommate.

- Who's your roommate? - You.

Say what? Hey, Chels, where'd you get these bunk beds? You know that vacant lot where everybody dumps their old stuff? - Chels! - Right next to that is a furniture store.

Hey, Chels? I just wanna say thank you.

You may not be great at housework, but this house wouldn't work without you.

Oh, Rae, I I'm really glad I returned that trampoline and got these bunk beds, so you can't see me cryin' right now.

What trampoline? (knocking on door) - Hey.

- Hey.

(chuckles) I saw you at the cafe.

Ohh, huh! I see where this is goin'.

I was just tryin' to help.

Everyone thinks I'm just this good-lookin', - naturally shredded, slam dunk master.

- Nobody thinks that.

But, I messed up today.

You tried to talk to me and I shut you out.

I promise I will never ignore you again.

Hmm yeah, you will.

- Yeah, I totally will.

- (both laugh) Man, I can't believe Dad's moving.

At least I'm not losing you, too.

I'm not going anywhere.

Booker Baxter-Carter, I know you did not buy that trampoline I told you not to buy on my credit card! Sorry, Book.

I'm out!