01x31 - Keep Beach City Weird

[bunniefuu]

We are the Crystal Gems we'll always save the day and if you think we can't we'll always find a way - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # And Steven! Pearl! Help me! Save me! Help me! Save me! - What on Earth? - Tag! You're it! Care to explain Ugh! What's going on here? It's Steven tag.

Steven tagged you.

- Now you have to turn into Steven.

- It's the rules.

- Oh, please.

- Aw, no fair! So, that means we're out of players.

Get ready for Steven tag.

Advance Unh! Tag.

Garnet wins.

I guess I can win every game of Steven tag it may be my name but it's just not my game Stop! This is a restricted zone! Only those with special clearance may enter! - MayI have special clearance? - Hmm.

Granted.

Now that you're properly suited, let's investigate! See those holes? Their shape and pattern is repeated over and over.

Some might say it's coincidence.

I say there's something more! - Like what? A double coincidence? - You'd already be in the know If you followed my blog Keep Beach City weird! I document all the weird things that happen in Beach City! You can't always trust facts and books! I'm out here hunting the truth! Oh, there you are! Dad wants you back at the shop! - You're missing out on valuable frying time! - It's weird time, Peedee! - I'm doing big stuff! Cover for me! - Fine.

But this is the last time, or I'm telling dad! Big stuff - I'll give you big stuff.

- So, you want to get your hands really dirty? - Then follow me.

- Yeah! - I can't wait to find something paranormal! - Shh! I'm picking up a quantum flux - on the weirdometer.

There! - Whoa! Did they fall from the sky? My research suggests they grew up from the ground.

- Ronaldo! Look at this.

- According to an online encyclopedia, which I am a user/editor of, this species isn't indigenous to this region.

Or this dimension-sion-sion-sion! We live in a strange world, Steven stranger than most know stranger than they care to know.

Take my brother, for instance.

He's always getting on my case, telling me to work more.

He'll never understand.

But, Steven, I can tell you're like me.

- Yeah! - I know you're someone I can trust.

You're ready for what I've found The cause of - Beach City's paranormal activity.

- Wait.

What? Welcome to my office.

Go that way.

Welcome to the truth.

- Snake people?! - Snake people, or "sneople", control our government at the highest level.

Look, the snake represents their hold on our country.

The diamond represents their underground mines or their sharp teeth.

The details aren't important! They pit us mammals against each other with elections, sports, and anime message boards.

We spend so much time fighting over "dubs" or "subs" that we miss the big picture! - What's that? - That the world is under their control.

Steven, don't slam the door! Amethyst! Pearl! We need to snake-proof the house! - Why? - To stop the Snake people! Uh Snake people?! What's so funny about Sneople?! Look at this! That must be from when we fought those drill parasites on the beach.

- Wha? Well, what about this? - That looks like pieces - of that red eye that we blew up.

- Well, what about this?! Oh, it's the flowers from Rose's moss! Is all the weird stuff that happens at Beach City because of us? - Well, yeah, obviously.

- I need some air.

- Ronaldo? - Steven! Did you see this crater? I think the snake people might have left it as a sign.

- Yeah Uh, Ronaldo? - Yes, Steven? Are you totally sure about this snake people thing? - Steven, are you having doubts? - Not really just doubts.

I found out those weird holes in the cliff were 'cause of something me and the gems did.

- Well, okay, but those red rocks - That was us.

- But the flowers.

- Us too.

- But But the truth! - Maybe the truth just isn't what you thought it was.

Sure it is! Don't get so hung up on these minor facts.

Truth is about more than that.

Truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true.

Truth is searching for anything that proves you're right, no matter how small, and holding on to that, no matter what.

That kind of sounds like the opposite of truth.

Look! The proof! This cast will show the true face of this conspiracy! - Oh, huh? - That's probably from Steven tag.

- What?! - It's a game where, when I tag one - of the gems, they - I'm really not at the center of anything.

I'm nothing.

- What's wrong, Steven? - I think I broke Ronaldo's heart.

Oh, Steven.

Humans just lead short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger.

They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.

It's sad.

And funny! Don't feel bad about it, okay? It's not like he was ever going to be right.

- Steven? Where are you going? - I'm gonna go fix Ronaldo! I'll be back in an hour.

Yo, Ronaldo! Eh, so See anything weird lately? No.

Everything's normal.

Snakemen are real, and we're puppeting the gov'ment! Wakey wakey, mister snakey.

Wave forms seem typical for a 12th-Dimensional being of this size.

Arms appear to be vestigial.

R-Ronaldo? Is that one of the monster people you've been hunting? No, no, not monster, Peedee.

Snerson.

It's very scientific! Still - Better safe than sorry.

- What's this for? For me, in case the amphibinoids turn my body - into a host vessel! - Nooo! Peedee, Peedee, Peedee! You got to look at the big picture here! Something important is finally happening to me! - Hello.

- We know you have our Steven! Give him up, curly! You snake people hiding like cowards in your false humanoid exteriors! Steven's got nothing to do with this! It's me you want! Ohh! You Snonster! Steven?! Okay, okay! You've forced me to use my ultimate w*apon! Stand back! Psychic ghost powers activate! - Everybody stop! I'm okay! - Nice pants.

Steven, your legs! When did they get to you? Ronaldo! It's not real! It was just me again.

That makes no sense.

I just wanted to inspire Ronaldo to be weird again.

No! It It just isn't that simple! There's got to be more to it - than just you! - Um But there is more! Steven is just uh uh a small piece of the puzzle.

Look at this! I think it's got to be um - level-8 beings pulling the strings.

- Get real, Peedee.

Level-8 beings are a worker society incapable of such organization.

Whoa.

Wait a minute! How did I never see this before?! I know what the diamond means.

Polymorphic-sentient rocks! - You sure he'll be better like that? - Yeah.

He's happy, you know? - Yeah.

- They're here to hollow out the Earth! It's part of the great diamond authority! They'll take on any form! You can read all about it on my blog!