01x10 - Fears of a Clown

[bunniefuu]

Raven's Home was filmed

in front of a live
studio audience.

Can you believe my mom
kicked us out for being annoying?

To be fair, we were having
an annoying sound contest.

It was the only way to know if marbles
in blender beats hammer on frying pan.

I still think it was...
(screeching)

I'm start...I'm starting to see
why she kicked us out.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

Guess we're just gonna be
bored all day.

Unless a giant gorilla climbed up
the side of the building.

I wish. I'd name him Mr. Bananas
and ride on his shoulders

through the streets
of Chicago.

(sighs)
Like that'll ever happen.

Boy's voice:
Hey, can I get a little help here?

(grunting)

Way to spring
into action, fellas.

I'm Wally.
I just moved into the building.

I'm Levi.
That's Booker.

Where did you get this thing?

Found this bad boy in the dumpster
and dragged it

up the fire escape.

You guys wanna help me
build a catapult with it?

More than anything
in the world!

This should launch
him across the roof

and land him safely
in that pile of pillows.

Levi's gonna love this.

-(crashes)
-(car alarm blaring)

- Whoa!
- He went right over the side!

Man, I'm gonna
miss that dummy.

Sure you don't wanna
give it a try, Levi?

Believe it or not,
the answer's still no.

♪ Ohhhh ♪

-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ Maybe I'm just finding my way ♪
-♪ Learning how to fly ♪

-♪And we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ You know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but you
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ Come on! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ Yep! We get loud! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ When it's tough ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather,
you know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

(Raven laughing)

Yep! That's us.

(laughing)

Hey, Chels, what you
lookin' at?

Yeah, I'm
not sure,

but I think
some kids

just threw a dummy
off the roof.

Those are some
real bad kids.

You know who
I blame?

The parents.

(eerie music plays)

(humming)

(gasps, mumbles)
Clown.

(whimpering)

(squeals softly)

(ghostly laughter)

(grunting)
Clown.

Ohh...

Chels! Clown!

Hall! I almost peed!

What? A clown?

Oh, Rae, there's
no clowns

in this
building.

Listen, you have got to get over
this clown phobia.

No! Chels! Chels!
I saw it with my own eyes!

It was a creepy,
face-painted,

"we gotta move 'cause it knows
where I live" clown, girl!

Well, let me go see!

No, Chels, don't!

Don't, Chels, no!

No, Chels, no!

Rae, there's no clown!

It was right there.

It's probably just somebody
havin' a kid's birthday party.

I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about.

Clowns are always somethin'
to worry about, Chels.

- Rae, I think you're bein'...
- Chels, listen!

All right?
They cannot be trusted.

Their shoes are too big,
their cars are too small,

and they're always smilin'
that freakish, freakish smile!

No one smiles that much,
Chels, no one!

Well, I smile a lot.

Yeah, and you know what?
I worry about you, too.

Look, Rae, the clown's gone, so you're
safe to go do the laundry, all right?

(whimpering)

(whining noises)

I'm sorry, did you want me
to go do the laundry?

Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.

Ms. Baxter, I got you.

(gasps)

The clown is gonna get me!

(grumbles)

Mom, where are you?

Mom, you can answer me,
I don't want money.

What you need, baby?

Can our new friend Wally
come over?

Sure, but I need to meet him.

When he gets here, can you come
outta there and not be weird?

It's my house.
I do what I want.

Oh, hey, Aunt Chels. If you're lookin'
for Mom, she's in the closet...

being weird.

Oh...

What are you doing?

What? I'm a perfectly
rational woman,

chillin' in her closet,
waitin' for a clown to att*ck her.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Oh, yeah, Rae, you sound totally norm..
oh my gosh, there's a clown!

(yelling)

Where'd he go?

Okay, Rae, give me the bat.

-Yeah.And the ankle bat.
-What?

Mm-hm.
Give it to me. Okay.

And the secret bat.

- How'd you know about my secret bat?
- I know about the secret bat.

This is crazy. You are not gonna
get att*cked by clowns!

Yes, I am, Chels,
I had a vision.

The clown is comin' to get me
right in my own home!

Okay, is it possible that maybe
you misinterpreted your vision?

When have I ever misint...terpet...
don't...don't answer that.

Okay?
You're gonna be fine.

You're right.
I am gonna be fine, Chels.

You know why? Ha, 'cause you
didn't get my double secret bat.

Thanks for moving the sleepover
to your place.

My mom's hosting
book club tonight.

-No, she isn't.
-No, she isn't.

She just started using natural
deodorant and it ain't workin'.

Hey, I think you dropped
this stuff.

I don't need some guy
to help me pick up my...

I mean...
if it's not too much trouble.

Oops.

Whoa.
It's almost like you guys

are dropping this stuff
on purpose.

You have eyelashes
like a beautiful pony.

My belly button
smells like rice.

Good to know.

We're gonna go now.

That was horrible.

At least we'll never
see him again.

(knocking on door)

That must be Wally.

Who's Wally?

Oh, no.
He's in your house.

Just be cool and make
a graceful exit.

(screams)

Aaah!

-What now?
-Just crawl, man! Just crawl!

Sorry about that.

That was just my weird sister
and her weird friend being... weird.

It's cool.
Everybody's family's a little weird.

(exhales) Booker, hold my bat,
I gotta use the bathroom.

Our family's a lot weird.

Hey, Mom,
this is Wally.

Oh, hey, Wally,
nice to meet you.

Come on, tell me about yourself,
but keep it short,

'cause remember,
I gotta tinkle.

-Well, I'm in seventh grade.
-Mm-hm.

My parents and I just moved
in from Colorado.

My dad's an accountant,
my mom's a clown,

and I'm a Leo,
which means I'm adventurous.

What'd you just say?

Oh. Don't worry, Levi's a Virgo,
so he'll watch out for all of us.

He's right.
I'm a real caregiver.

I'm sorry, no, no, no,
about your mama.

Did you say your mama
was a... clown?

Yeah. She retired from
the circus when she had me.

And now she does birthday parties.

Satisfied, Mom? Now you know
him better than i do.

Come on.

There's a little baby clown
in my house!

Behold, Fort McFort.
Pretty great, right?

Don't worry, guys.
We'll rebuild it.

What do you guys think?

The new Fort McFort is awesome.

Everybody's gonna wanna
get in.

We need a password.

What about
"Password McPassword"?

Access granted.

Get in there.
You too, big guy.

He just called me "big guy."

And he wasn't being sarcastic.

(sniffs) Smells like somebody's
baking cookies.

This better work.

I can't embarrass myself
in front of Pony Eyes again.

That's my nickname for Wally.

Don't worry, you won't.
Once these cookies get him in here,

we'll show him how cool
we really are.

Okay.
So, what's your plan?

I got nothin'.

We don't have a plan?
Shut the door! Shut the door!

-Hey, guys.
-Girls: Hey, Wally.

I hate us so much right now.

Any chance you got
an extra one of those?

Really? You like
fresh-baked cookies?

Everybody likes
fresh-baked cookies.

I know what you're doin'.

You're tryin' to hang out
with Wally 'cause he's awesome.

That's ridiculous.

Yeah. We're tryin' to hang out
with him 'cause he's cute.

Gross. That's why
you're bein' so weird?

I'm not gonna let you
creep Wally out.

Come on, guys, let's go back
to Fort McFort.

It's almost .

hat's when we do
hip-hop karaoke.

(sighs)
That was a disaster.

Yeah, we get mad stupid
around that kid.

If we don't wanna
embarrass ourselves again,

the safest thing to do is the exact
opposite of what we wanna do.

I wanna go smell his hair.

We cannot be trusted.

Hey, Rae.
You feelin' any better?

No. No. A clown moved
into our building

and now her kid
is friends with our kid.

But you can't avoid her forever.
She's our neighbor.

(gasps) You're right,
we should move.

I've got a better idea.
Come with me.

Well, I just...

Okay, they say the best way
to conquer your fear

is to face it.

Uh, who are "they"?
They don't know me.

Don't worry, I've brought around
a little something to help you

get comfortable
with your fear of clowns.

You know what would make me
feel comfortable? My bat.

Rae!
Can you please just sit down.

-Okay.
-Thank you.

We are in a safe place.
Okay? Turn the crank.

Chels, I don't want to.

Rae, please?
Just, turn it.

("Pop Goes the Weasel" playing)

-Okay, Chels, that was great.
-Keep cranking.

("Pop Goes the Weasel"
playing)

-Oh, Chels, you cured me!
-Raven!

(whispers)
Okay, all right.

-I got this. I got this.
-Yeah.

(clears throat)

("Pop Goes the Weasel"
playing)

(whimpers)

-Ooh.
-(squeals)

Ha-ha! Look at him, he's so cute,
hello, hello, little clown.

(laughs) Oh, thanks, Chels,
I think you fixed me.

Hey.
Look who it is?

(screams)

(grunting)

Come here!

Come here!
Come here!

Huah! Ow!

Oh, you ain't gettin' away
that easy!

You ain't gettin' away!

Huh!

(grunting)

(clown deflating)

(laughing hysterically)

I'm gonna nail it to the door
as a warning to other clowns.

Ha-ha!

(robot voice)
I can't believe we had robot armor

in our recycling bin
the whole time!

I can't believe how many
pizza boxes you guys have.

My mom's in charge of dinner,
so it's kind of the safest option.

Yo, I lost my contact.

Could one of you
help me find it?

-You don't wear contacts.
-Nobody asked you, baby shoes.

So, what are you guys doing?

Nah-uh, nah-uh, nah-uh,
I'm shuttin' this down!

Hey, I... I lost my contact.
Could one of you help me...

You said you were going
to the bathroom.

You said you were going
to the kitchen!

Well, you can't kick it
in Fort McFort.

Yeah.
No entry without the password.

It's probably something dumb
like "Password McPassword."

Darn it, we've been hacked!

It's okay, guys.
They're cool.

Really?
You think we're cool?

You don't think
we're lame anymore?

I never thought
you were lame.

Is it possible that all of this
was in our heads

and we never actually
embarrassed ourselves?

That's airtight logic, yo.

I can't believe we've been
driving ourselves crazy all day.

So, should we stay
and hang out?

(robot voice)
Wally-Bot powering up.

(mimics whirring)
Initiating three-way high five.

(mimics beeping)

-I'm out.
-Me too.

We have got to change
that password.

Chels? Chels,
I gotta get outta here.

If my vision's correct, Wally's mom could
come through that door at any moment.

I'm just...I'm just not ready to be
in the same room with a clown.

Why don't you go
take a walk?

Good idea, Chels.
Good idea. Good idea.

Coast is clear. (laughs) All right, now,
text me when she's gone. Okay.

(gasp, high-pitched)
Clown!

(thud)

Woman:
Are you okay?

Don't worry, Ms. Baxter,
I got you.

(screams)

No, no! No, no, no!

No! No, no, no,
I got me!

I got me! (laughs)

Oh!

I'm okay.

I didn't mean to startle you.
I'm Diane, Wally's mom.

Oh, what a horrible
first impression.

Yeah. The-there's a clown..
clown face!

Clown face
comin' towards me!

Well, I was so busy
rushing to get home from work,

I forgot I had this on!
(laughs)

(whimpering)

Mom! Nia and Tess
ruined our fort!

It was bound to happen anyway.
Those sheets weren't up to code.

Mom?
What's going on?

Auntie Rae?
Are you okay?

No. No. Uh-huh.

Ain't okay.
I ain't okay.

There's a clown!
There's a clown in my house!

Do you have
a problem with me?

(yells)
Yes!

Now, will you please leave,
circus freak.

Wow. Okay. Come on, Wally.
Let's go home.

Woo! I'm glad she's gone!

Ohh... it is all good, y'all.
It's all good.

It's that bad, huh?

Why did you say those things
to Wally's mom?

'Cause I'm terrified of clowns.

So you called her names.

You yell at me
when I call Nia names.

That's different.
Your sister's not a clown.

Auntie Rae,
you were really mean to her.

She's never
gonna let Wally come back.

Ms. B, if I didn't sleep here and eat here
and pretty much live here,

I'd drop some serious truth
on you right now.

That was bad.

Yeah, it was!

Chels, we have some really
judgmental children!

What? No, Rae, look, I...I get that
you're scared, okay?

But this is getting
out of control, I mean,

gosh, I've never seen you
treat anyone like that.

Chels, I can't help it.
It's not my fault.

Well, you gotta do somethin',
'cause you just cost our kids a friend.

All right. I get it.
I really messed up.

I gotta find a way
to fix this.

Aunt Chels, what's goin' on?

I don't know, I got this balloon
inviting me to dinner.

-Me too.
-Me too.

I'm Nia's plus one.

(knocking on door)

Oh, hey, Diane, hey, Wally.

Hey, you guys
got a balloon, too.

I had no intention of coming.

But I...I begged her.

Wally! You're back!

-Hey.
-'Sup.

Hey.

So what's this all about?

Not really sure...

(whimsical music playing)

-Oh...
-My...

Both:
Mom.

(whimsical music continues)

Is this some kind of joke?

This is the weirdest thing
I've ever seen.

Hey, yo.
I love coming over here.

Oh, I... I guess
I'm in the show, too, kids.

She's acting out
her fear of clowns.

That's what she's doing?

Am I the only one
who doesn't get this?

Others:
Yes!

Okay, I'm sorry, Rae,
I got a little carried away.

I think she's trying
to apologize.

(crying)
This is some powerful stuff.

That was beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.
I'm just glad it worked.

That was the longest I've ever
gone without talking.

Raven, this was wonderful.

I am really glad that I accepted
your invitation.

Me too.

You know, I have to admit this is not how
I thought things would end up.

Yeah, Mom,
you've come a long way.

You're dressed as a clown,

you've eaten dinner
with a clown.

You've tried Brussels spouts.

Yeah, we're real
proud of you, Ms. B.

Thanks. I'll do anything
for my kids.

Even you, Tess.

The coast is clear.

Raven: Get that big old
gorilla hand outta my house!

Back up, back up!