05x12 - Truth or Hair

[bunniefuu]

You guys excited for the lock-in tomorrow?

Yeah. I think it's gonna be fun
to spend Saturday night at school

is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

Yeah, I've already packed a blanket,
some snacks and a shaving kit.

Shaving kit? You shave, Neil?

Mmm, not yet, but if you stay
ready, you don't have to get ready.

Touch my chin.

Feel anything?

Yeah. Uncomfortable.

[cell phone beeps-♪]

-It's a text from Cami.
-Oh.

-She's staying with her dad this weekend.
-[Cell phone beeps]

An eyeball, a woman and the letter "U".

What's that mean?

"I miss you."

Aw.

Tell her I miss her too.

No, she misses me, Neil.

-All right? It's my phone.
-Ah.

What should I text back?

I got it.

-A fish on a skateboard.
-A fish on a skateboard?

Wow. Your text game is weak.

No, I just saw a fish on a skateboard

[Neil, Ivy] Huh?

Is having a concert.

You know, they're a hip-hop group.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They're super-overrated though. I
don't--I don't even know why I listen to 'em.

-[both laugh]

-What are you talking about?

-Ivy, look out!
-Whoa!

Whoa. A fish on a skateboard.

Just like that band you hate.

Weird.

Yeah, it is weird.

You mentioned "a fish on a
skateboard" and one just appears.

The odds of that are, like, a billion to one.

Wow. [Laughs]

Ivy, all you can talk about are statistics

after I just saved you from being
the victim of a--a fish -and-run?

Sorry.

But it's still weird.

[sighs]

All right, she's gone. Now tell me the truth.

What? I--

This is a hair, right?

It's a little one. There it is.

♪ Ha ha! Let me tell you something ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

-♪ But then life had other
plans ♪ -Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things Turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up And take that chance ♪

-♪ A new city, I'm finding my way
♪ -It's gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ You know I got it, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild But you
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam caught up
In a crazy world, come on! ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We get loud! ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough But
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
You know we gonna shine ♪

♪ There for each other You know it's our time ♪

[laughs] Yep, that's us.

When did we eat cement?

-Mom.
-I didn't just throw a dish in the trash.

Now I know you did.

Hey, listen, I need to talk to
you about something important.

I know you're gonna say it's way too soon,

but I-I really think I'm ready--

You're not ready for nothing. No,
no, sweetheart. You are a baby.

I need to call your dad.

I--I'm ready to tell Ivy
and Neil about my visions.

-What did you think I was talking about?
-[Laughs]

Nothing.

Look, I know how difficult it is keeping
a big secret like this from your friends,

but I told Eddie and Chelsea.

-You just have to trust 'em.
-Well, that's the thing.

Ivy and Neil are great, but I've
only known them a couple months.

I need to be absolutely sure
that they can keep a secret.

Ooh, sounds to me like
you need a plan. [Chuckles]

A scheme. A bit of a subterfuge.

You had me at "plan," and then
you--you lost me at "subterfuge."

[chuckles] Well, lucky for you, you
are related to the queen of schemes.

That's true. Alice. Thanks, Mom.

Alice? No, it was--

You know what? Yeah. Go--Go talk to Alice.

You know, 'cause I didn't wanna be a
part of your stupid scheme in the first place.

I am a grown woman! I have things to do!

Ooh!

♪ I look good ♪

♪ I look good I look --♪

What's that, skillet? I'm sizzling?

Tss, tss--Ah!

Well, the skillet may think you're hot,

but me and the toaster think you're crazy.

-Hey, Rae. [Laughs]
-Hey, Dad.

Why you wearing your Sunday best on a Saturday?

What? You, uh, got a date with a blender?

[laughs] Oh, this old thing? No
reason. Guess I gotta do some laundry.

Okay, I'ma take Alice to
the hair salon. Gotta go.

Hair salon? Whoa.

Those places are nothing but, like, long waits,

endless gossip and just silly arguments.

I love it. Let me go.
I'll take her. I can't wait.

I'll go get a new hairdo too. [screams, giggles]

Hey. It's me Victor.

Can we meet earlier?

Great. [Chuckles]

See you then.

I can't wait.

Who threw my favorite dish in the trash?

When did we eat cement?

Hey, Alice. I need your help with a scheme.

I'm in. Who's the mark? What's the budget?

Do I need a fake passport?

Whoa.

I-I just wanna test whether
Neil and Ivy can keep a secret.

So, my plan is for you--

Me to tell Ivy and Neil a
made-up secret about you

then you'll see if you can get them to spill it.

Yeah. How'd you know?

Scheming , son.

So, what's the secret you want me to tell them?

Okay, I landed a huge record
deal that I'm about to go on tour--

[laughing]

Oh, you're serious?

The secret has to be believable. Like, um

I could say I heard Cami was gonna dump you.

Hey, man. Why does everybody
think Cami's gonna dump me?

'Cause she's out of your league.

Cami babysits Ernie from my class.

I'll say he heard her
talking about it on the phone.

I don't know.

-Seems a little--
-Done.

Just texted Neil and Ivy,
and I told them not to tell you.

Good scheming with you.

Okay--Hey, hey. Wait,
wait. But that, um [chuckles]

That part about Ernie
listening in on Cami's calls,

that's made up, right?

Let's just say I heard your text game is weak.

[chuckles]

Now, you know I don't like gossip,

but I heard his wife was so furious,

she chased him down a freeway for three hours

with a dry pool noodle.

A dry pool noodle?

No, Janice, it was minutes
and it was a wet toilet brush.

Wet! That's nasty.

You don't know. You weren't there.

And neither were you, boo.

[laughing] I love this place so much.

And they were only married three days.

It was two. And that wedding, hmm, was a mess.

Fake flowers. Tacky.

-Oof. You ain't said nothing but a word.
-Mm-hmm.

Wait, it's just getting good.

Well, you know, relationships are hard.

Not for our new stylist. She's
secretly dating a local businessman.

But you didn't hear it from me. [Giggles]

How could we not? You're
the only one talking, Janice.

Well, keep talking,
Janice. This is getting juicy.

He owns a dry cleaners.

It's a restaurant.

Just because you say it
loud, don't make it right, Janice.

Yeah, girl! Uh-huh.

A restaurant? She better get her a
man that can cook, okay? [Chuckles]

I think he owns The Chill Grill.

The chill what?

Oh, they're totally in love.

Wait, in love? Who's in love?

Just wanna know if they talkin' about my daddy.

I'm just chilling. I'm just right here.

Just here. Almost--

-Did she just--
-Yeah, she did.

Alice, time to go!

Okay, look. Booker will be down
any minute to go to the lock-in.

Should we tell him Cami's
gonna break up with him?

-We promised Alice we wouldn't.
-Okay.

I don't want to lie to Booker.

Look, we don't even know if it's true.

-Let's not freak him out for no reason.
-Yeah.

Hey, here he comes. Just act natural.

[clears throat, speaks in
posh accent] Hello, friend.

How was the upstairs?

Real natural, Neil.

Hey, guys. I'm sorry that took so long.

I was on the phone with Cami and, um

[clicks tongue] she was acting kind of weird.

You haven't heard anything, have you?

Nope. Nothing. Not a thing.

Oh.

How about you, Neil?

[normal voice] I heard

that pigeons can recognize human faces.

Mm-hmm. Anything else?

Maybe they can recognize other pigeons.

I don't know. Let me check. [clears throat]

Hey, you know,

I was thinking I should get a tattoo of Cami.

You know? There's no reason I shouldn't.

Right?

Sorry, Booker. Just super
focused on this pigeon thing.

Why wait, you know?

I'm gonna go get that permanent
tattoo, right now. [Chuckles]

Unless there's a reason I shouldn't?

Are we really gonna let him get a Cami tat?

Are you guys really gonna let me get a Cami tat?

-You know she's gonna break up with me.
-You know we know?

Of course, I know you know.

I had Alice tell you a fake secret so
I could see if I could trust you guys.

-Wait, you lied to us?
-No. It was more like a test.

-And you passed!
-Yes!

Ivy, we got an A in friendship.

Why would you test us?

Okay.

All right, you guys, look. I, um--

I have a secret I've been keeping from you.

I think it's time I finally tell you what it is.

Really, Booker?

After hearing that, I don't
think we can be friends.

[echoes] Friends, friends

So,

what's the secret?

I, um

I forgot to shower this morning. [chuckles]

Woo, it feels good to get
that off my chest. [Chuckles]

Hey, guys, let's go to the lock-in.

Hmm. I don't know.

Something smells fishy.

And I'm gonna find out what it is.

It's Booker.

He just told us he didn't shower.

I can't believe they kicked me out of the salon.

[Alice] My hair is jacked.

[sighs] Your hair's not jacked.

You right, it's jacked.

Why'd you wreck the salon?

Well, I didn't mean to. But I had a good reason.

And you're in charge of me?

Oh, I've gotta hear this.

How do I explain this to a ten-year-old?

Okay. Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful princess.

And she overheard two
gossiping toads say that her father

was secretly dating a witch.

Just say "grown folks business."

But what I really wanna know
is, who's gonna fix my hair?

With all this metal, I think
I'm starting to pick up Wi-Fi.

[chuckles] Go get your combs. I'll do it.

[Victor] I feel the same.

I'm glad we met.

I have never been happier.

[whispers] He is dating someone.

No! Don't worry about
my wife, she's fine with it.

And Mama knows?

Yep. We're splitting everything - .

And they're getting a divorce. [Huffs]

I gotta find that home-wrecker and
stop her from wrecking our home.

Ready, Auntie Rae.

Sorry, you hair's gonna have to wait. I
gotta go back and get some information.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You can't go back there. Remember?

Sir Leo said they never want
to see your face in there again.

[chuckles]

Then they won't.

[cackling]

Hey, Ivy. I, uh, brought
some of that licorice you like.

Aw, that is so sweet.

You are the best.

He's the worst.

He's keeping a secret from us.

Eh, what can we do? Can't make someone
tell you something they don't want to.

Watch me.

Who wants to play truth or dare?

I'll go first. Booker! Truth or dare.

Me? I, um Um

-He's gonna pick truth.
-Mm-hmm.

Dare.

Ooh,

so close.

[all laughing]

I'm a little cottontail.

Booker is my name.

Ivy thought she had me, but, um,

I b*at her at her game.

[all laughing]

Oh, it is on.

Well, Tasha,

be honest.

What do you think?

Oh, really?

Well, yours don't look much better.

Whoa.

Did I pay for that?

Auntie Rae was supposed
to fix it, but she went out.

Well, you're in luck. I'm a hair expert.

Then why did all of yours leave?

-Do you want your hair fixed or not.
-[Chuckles]

You know, I used to do your Auntie Rae's hair.

We would talk,

and tell stories.

But then she grew up.

I miss those days.

Hmm.
-My dad did my hair once.

He gave me a hat and said,

"Good luck."

Janice, I cannot work like this.

Her hair is never gon' get dry.

Stop complaining and keep
fanning, or we're gonna miss karaoke.

And you know I got my Whitney
[sings high note] on point.

[chuckles]

With that voice, you must mean Eli Whitney.

[people chattering]

[French accent] Bonjour, bonjour!

I am Fleurette Planchette
from Paris. That is in France--

No. Uh-uh. We are not taking any more clients

because some wretched
woman destroyed our hair dryers.

[gasps] "Wretched"? "Wretched."

Oh, that is harsh.

No, I would say that she is,
uh, misunderstood, you know?

A little clumsy. [Chuckles]

It doesn't matter. Our new colorist
didn't even bother to show up.

Well, sacrebleu.

[laughs]

Très désolée that I am late.

I am the colorist.

I live to couleur. [Chuckles]

Color is my life.

If I didn't have it, it would be--What
would you say, how would you say

[stutters in French] "Colorless."

-Colorless.
-Okay, yes.

Wait, we're backed up, so you have to work fast.

Oui, oui! Oui, oui!

Oui, oui, oui.

Oui [normal voice] We in trouble, girl.

-[sniffs]
-[all groan]

Okay, shoe-sniffing's over.

It's my turn again.

Who should I choose? Hmm

Booker.

Truth or dare?

Dare.

[all] Nine

Ivy, this has gone far enough.

A man can only eat so much mayonnaise.

Don't ask me how I know.

I have to find out the truth.

-Why?
-Because if he doesn't tell us, he wins.

So forcing him to divulge his
deepest, darkest secret is all about you?

It is about so much more than that.

-Really?
-No, I just didn't want to seem petty.

I'm sorry. I can't be a part of this.

[all] Ten.

[whimpers]

Is it my turn yet?

It's Neil's.

But he asked me to choose for him.

So, Booker,

truth or dare?

There's not a dare you could think up,

that will make me tell you
the thing that I can't tell you.

Actually, this might.

Booker,

all you have to do is tell me your secret,

and you don't have to do this.
-No. I can't tell you.

Okay

Here I go.

-One, two--
-Uh, Booker, wait!

You forgot your helmet.

-Thanks.
-Mm-hmm.

Okay, now I'm going.

One,

two--

Booker, wait!

Your shoe's untied.

-Thanks.
-Mmm.

Okay,

this is it.

All right.

One,

two--

[Neil] Booker, wait!

Hey, why did you stop him?
He was just about to do it.

You know the old saying,

"If you need good advice, talk to a barracuda"?

-That's not a saying.
-Obviously it is.

'Cause I just said it.

I didn't know mascots could talk.

He doesn't,

which makes him a very good listener.

After talking at him,

he made me realize that friends
don't test each other's loyalty,

and if someone has a secret,

we should respect it.

The barracuda's right, Booker.

I'm sorry I didn't respect your secret.

Yeah, and I shouldn't have tested your loyalty.

You and Neil are the best
friends a guy could have.

Thanks, Cuda.

[all] Whoa!

I didn't know that was gonna happen.

How could you?

It's not like you could see the future.

Actually,

I can.

Hmm?

What are you talking about?

I'm psychic.

-Are those colors ready?
-[French accent] Oh, yes, almost. Almost.

You know, speaking of of
colors, do you know of any women

who are dating business owners of restaurants?

That's an odd question.

Well, in Paris, we talk
about this stuff all the time.

So, um [clears throat] answer it.

Fleurette, honey, whatever happened to
my Coffee Brown hair dye for chair- ?

Oh, coming right up. Coffee
Brown. Coffee Coffee Brown

Coffee Brown--

[normal voice] Coffee Brown.
[clears throat] Hope you like decaf.

[French accent] Oh, here you go, Sir Leo.

[chuckles] Perfect.

So, speaking of women--

Is this hair dye or spackle?

I haven't seen anything this thick
since Janice brought soup to the pot luck.

It wasn't soup, it was pudding.

Well, whatever it was, it did
fill that pothole in my driveway.

Well, in Paris, we like our
dyes like we like our accents.

Thick.

Anyway, about that jezebel
dating the business owner

I don't spill the tea until I
get my Cinnamon Burst.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

[normal voice] Cinnamon Burst--Should've
told me you wanted Cinnamon Burst.

I would've got you the Cinnamon
Burst, then you could give me the tea.

So, why are you so interested in Veronica

and her relationship with her new boo?

[French accent] Veronica?

No, no, no, I'm not interested in Veronica.

You know, I just kind of want to know, like, uh,

where does she live? Does she have children?

What she look like?

I think she posted a picture of
her and her man this morning.

[normal voice] Okay, that's not the
owner of The Chill Grill. [Chuckles]

That's Lazlo.

And that's not a real accent.

I'm starting to think that
you're not really French.

Or a real colorist.

[French accent] Why-Why-Why--

Why would you say that? [Chuckles]

[gasps]

[normal voice] You bald.

-Oh!
-My bad!

All right. All done.

Bam!

It's perfect, Pop-Pop!

-Thank you. [Chuckles]
-Anytime.

Come on, Tasha.

Hmm? I'm sorry?

What do you mean you want Pop
-Pop to do your hair from now on?

Call me, Tasha. I got you, girl.

[door opens]

Dad. Dad, we need to talk.

Is it about that wig?

Don't try to change the subject,
okay? I heard you on the phone.

You talked to Mom.

You're gonna split everything
/ . What is really going on?

I was waiting for the right time to tell you.

I was talking to my lawyer--

I knew it! You and Mom are getting a divorce!

[sobbing]

No, Rae.

I'm making you co-owner of The Chill Grill.

Co-owner of The Chill Grill?

But The Chill Grill's your baby.

Oh, Rae, you're my baby too.

The Chill Grill has always
been a family business.

Now we can run it as a family.

Wow, Dad,

I don't even know what to say. Thank you.

But for real, what's going on with you and Mom--

And don't say "grown folks
business," okay? 'Cause I'm grown.

Okay.

Why don't you have a seat
and I will tell you all about it

while I work on this.

Thank you.

[sighs]

How do I explain this? [Gasps]

Once upon a time, there was a king and a queen

who lived in two different kingdoms.

Okay, okay, but don't forget
about the beautiful princess.

No one could forget about the princess.

I said "beautiful" princess.

Who's telling this story?

Okay, so the king,

he was really cool and drove a car named

Janine.

So that's how you knew about
the whole fish on a skateboard thing,

the getting a car and the dance with Cami?

-Yeah. Pretty much.
-Hmm.

All right, Mr. Psychic, what's gonna happen now?

I'm gonna close the door.

Wow.

Just wow.

I'm sorry my vision ruined the lock-in.

I can't believe Cuda forgave me.

It helps he can't talk.

Man, a psychic whose visions cause problems.

That reminds me of a horror
movie, Problematic Visions.

Never seen it.

Really, Booker?

After hearing that, I don't
think we can be friends.

I can't believe I was afraid
to tell you guys I was psychic.

Booker, we're your friends.

-You can tell us anything.
-Yeah.

Just don't do it during the movie.

Hey, where's the remote?

Oh. Here it is.

Two in a row.

Wow. Just wow.

Psychic best friend!