03x01 - Friend-Ship

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Raven's Home". Aired: July 21, 2017 - present.*
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Best friends Raven and Chelsea are together again and raising their three children under one roof.
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03x01 - Friend-Ship

Post by bunniefuu »

No, no, no. Please, please.

No more pictures, everybody.

All right. Fine, fine.
Get my good side.

Yes, I'll design a line for
you, Michael B. Jordan.

Mom, mom, mom!

It's a... it's a
ch-chupacabra in there!

Get behind me, babies!

Okay.

Choke on some
tropical glaze, you creep!

Levi?

Levi, what are you wearing
and why are you interrupting

my nightly date with
Michael B. Jordan?

Sorry. I've been having
trouble sleeping lately.

This stuff helps.

That stuff makes you look
cray-cray in the day-day.

Poor Levi.

He's been clinging on to things
his mom sent him from the cruise.

Now he just smells
like cheap air freshener.

Levi... I think I know
what's going on.

You miss your mama.

What? I don't
miss my mom at all.

Then why do you have
a shirt with her face on it?

This is a plain t-shirt.

If you see my mom,
that means you miss her.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna put on
my matching pants.

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Hey... Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ Maybe I'm just finding my way
Learning how to fly

♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay
Ya know I got you, right?

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids caught
up in a crazy world ♪

♪ C'mon! ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
Yo!

♪ We get loud! ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ When it's tough ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

Yep! That's us.

You save me some
sunscreen, Nikos. Hey, Rae.


Uh-uh, girl. Don't
you "hey, Raven" me.

We need to talk about your son.

Who? Levi?

Do you have another son

that another best
friend is raising?

Listen, Levi... He's
lost without you.

- What do you mean?
- Here's what I mean.

All right, mom. I need you
to sign my permission slip.

Here you go.

Just sign right here.

Thank you.

It's okay, Rae. I've
encouraged Levi to talk to plants.

It helps them grow.

And besides, he's with you.

I know you wouldn't let
anything happen to my baby.

Chels, you know I have your back,
but I think I've done all I can do.

I mean, I've wiped, I've
wiped noses, I've wiped...

So many things.

When you coming back?

We need you and we miss you.

I miss you too.

But, you know, these
seminars, they're a hit.

It's... it's just... it's really
hard for me to leave right now.

Chels. Oh, no. I see
those eyes, Chels.


I see them. They shifty.
What you not telling me?


Well, I...

I can't disappoint
my schmoppies.

Schmoppies? What
is that, a mop cult?

What about me?

Well, there's only one of you.

You know? There's
trillions of them.


In fact, there's a
seminar starting right now.


Gotta go, love you! Bye!

Man, that was close.

I almost spilled the beans.

I knew it! I knew it!

I knew the shifty eyes.

- What beans aren't you telling me?
- Mom, you better come here!

It sounds like you have
an emergency, Rae.

You better go! Love you, bye!

Okay, here's the first one.

This is when my mom
took me to the zoo.

Levi, it's just a black screen.

Yeah, she left the lens cap on.

Mom.

Just roll with it.

- What's going on?
- Hey.

Mom, Levi...

Is giving us a slide show of
family photos with aunt Chelsea.

Oh, snap. I'm
starting to see it.

Levi, admit it. You
miss your mom.

Miss my mom?

Don't make me laugh.

Mom. Mom, I'm scared.

Okay, okay. Listen, listen.

Let me just talk to
Levi really fast, okay?

Um, Levi...

I'm gonna go take
you to see you mom.

Yes! Finally!

I've been acting out for weeks.

I've already got
my suitcase packed.

- I even packed for Booker.
- But what'd you pack?

Whatever was clean.

So I packed very light.

Levi...

If you wanted to see your
mom, all you had to do was ask.

Auntie Rae,

will you please take
me to see my mom?

Yes.

Yes!

Okay, then I'll ask.

- Can I come?
- No.

But you will get a souvenir.

Because you're gonna
do the most important job.

You're gonna water my plants.

- Nah! Uh!
- Booker, if your foot touches me

- one more time...
- back off, homie!

You're crowing us.

You're not even in the car!

Gary, this is what happens
when you take a shared SCÜT

from Chicago to Indiana.

This is what happens.

Levi, why is your elbow
all the way over here?

I spread when I sit.

Well, spread to
Nia's side of the car.

Wow, you think you're space
is more important than mine,

just like you think your New York
itinerary is more important than mine.

Uh, it is. First, we're
going to Yankee stadium.

Then we're going
to get a slice of pizza,

and then we're going to wait
outside Rihanna's brownstone.

Simple!

No. First, we're
going to Broadway,

and then we're gonna
see the statue of Liberty,

and then, we're going to go wait
outside Michael b. Jordan's apartment.

Really?

I track his location.

Hey, hey, hey.

First, we're going to the boat

to drop me off so I can
spend the week with my mom.

Well, look at that.

The little one is the most
responsible in the back seat.

Well, what you
guys ought to do...

No, Tess. What you ought
to do is go water the plants

'cause we about to go see
Michael b. Jordan. Okay?

Bye!

All right, Gary.

Welcome to Gary... Indiana.

Thank you riding with...

- Can you take me with you?
- No.

- Bye, Gary.
- Great, he's gone.

Can I sit in the front seat now?

Nope. If anyone gets to sit in
the front seat, it should be me.

I'm the oldest.

- By two minutes!
- Listen, listen, listen.

- Do y'all want souvenirs?
- Yes.

Okay, well, then leaving an
open seat for the SCÜT passenger

is how we get our
souvenirs money, okay?

Well, how about you guys
leave some room for me?

Aah! Levi, move over!

Booker, I warned you. One
more time and that foot is mine.

- Oh this foot?
- Yes, this one!

What mom commandments
are you breaking right now?

Thou shalt not use an
outside voice inside of the car.

Thou shalt not kick the
back of thy mother's seat.

But to be fair,

I wouldn't have to kick
the back of your seat

if I could get some
room back here.

Don't make me
pull this car over!

Don't make me do it.

Welcome! Whoo! Oh!

Thank you all so
much for being here.

I'm Chelsea Grayson, and I
am the inventor of the schmop.

And I'm here to help all
of you find your inspiration

and become the inventor
you've always wanted to be.

Okay.

Are there any questions
before we get started?

First you have to make a mess.

- Okay?
- Excuse me.

Oh, miss Bertha, back again.

Have you thought
of shuffleboard?

Or the, um, "how to get your
groove back" seminar, huh?

I think it starts in
like minutes.

Okay. What's your question?

Well, it says here on this
flyer that I get a free schmop.

Miss Bertha, hey.
That wasn't a question.

It says here on this flyer
that I get a free schmop,

doesn't it?

Okay, there we go. All right.

Can I have hers?

What? But you
already have three.

Well, can I have another
one? Ain't nobody else here.

♪ We're gettin' cray-cray ♪

- What?
- ♪ In the day-day ♪

- ♪ uh ♪
- ♪ and we can't stop-stop ♪


- ♪ so we drop-drop ♪
- ♪ woo! ♪


♪ Going side by side ♪

♪ our hearts open wide-wide ♪

♪ everything's bizarre ♪

♪ watch out for
that cat, rawr-rawr! ♪


♪ Ah! 'Kay-'Kay ♪

Man, I'm having so much fun,

I don't even want to
know if we're there yet!

Man, are we there yet?

No, sweetheart. We're not there.

- But we are in Maumee.
- Mommy?

Yeah. Maumee, Ohio.

Oh no! What's happening?

I think we have a flat.

Well, there's nothing
flat about this situation!

Are we there yet?

No.

But we got a flat,
but it's no big deal,

right... Maumee?

Y'all got jokes.

Let's see if y'all still laughing
when I cancel Christmas.

Ha-ha! Joke's on her.

We not gon' be laughing.

All right, y'all, listen.

Bad news is, is
that we have a flat.

The good news
is, is I have a spare.

So we change your
tire and get going?

No, no. You
didn't let me finish.

The worst news is, I used the spare
last week so we're gonna need a tow.

Oh, Rae! Help me!

I need a tow and
I need a miracle.

Your call is very
important to us


and will be answered
in the next minutes.


Please stay on the line.

Where else would I go?

Auntie Rae, we've been
waiting for two hours.

Are you gonna make
it to my mom in time?

Calm down, of course we are.

We'll get the tire fixed,
get back on the road,

- and save your mom.
- Save my mom?

Did I say save?

I didn't mean... I meant to
say we're gonna see your mom.

I switched up
words for a reason.

Did I say "for a reason"?

I meant for no rea...

We're not gonna make it.

Is it just me

or is this car getting smaller

- and smaller?
- Hold up, hold up, now, Levi.

Levi, stay with me, okay?

Look at all the
extra room you have.

With all that breathing room,

you should relax and
take your mind off of it.

Fine. I'll just look
out the window.

It will soothe me.

Uh, I can't see. I
need a window seat.

Booker, switch seats with him.

- Mom...
- now, boy!

Okay.

Corn.

Cow.

Tess. Tow truck.

Hold up. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up. Did you say Tess?

Yeah, hold up. Did
you say tow truck?

How's it going family?

Who wants a tuna sandwich?

- Oh!
- Oh!

Hey, Chelsea! What's schmopping?

Thanks for clearing out so I
can do my lip kitty presentation.

- Lip kitties!
- Meow, meow!

Okay, tabby, calico,
lip gloss over here.

Whiskers, socks,
swag bags over there.

You know, considering
cats don't have lips,

the concept of lip
kitties is so inspired.

Can you believe my dad
didn't want to hire them?

It's like, you only lent me
a measly one million dollars

to start this company.

A little help here, dad!

Wow. I started the
schmop with .

and a magic eight
ball. You know, like,

"will the schmop work?" Whaaa!

Ah! "Odds are in your favor!"

It's just so hard running
your own company.

Hey, catnip eyeliner
next to the kitty glitter.

I have to do everything. Rawr!

Yeah, I mean, run your own
business and this inventors' cruise.

I mean, it's... it's almost
like you have nine lives.

You know what
else is like, so weird?

- What?
- Like how you were my idol,

and now I'm your boss.

And I'm like, way
younger than you are.

So, Chelsea, how many
schmops have you sold?

Oh, I'm not doing too
great today, actually.

You've been here six months.

You need to pick it up with
her seminar and your sales.

Yeah. Actually, um, you know
one customer couldn't get enough.


She was, you know, picking them
up faster than I could put them down.

Miss Bertha does not count.

Chelsea Grayson, you
have done this before.

You need to figure out what
success means to you now,

and then don't let
anything get in your way.

Yeah.

Actually, my... my son
Levi getting in the way

was my inspiration
for the schmop.

Gosh, he was such a messy kid.

Actually, this one time he spilled
apple sauce all over the floor...

Aw. I don't relate to that.

Chelsea, listen to me.

In order to sell the schmop,

you need to love the schmop.

- Yeah.
- Do you love the schmop?

Yes! Of course I do.

Great. Then don't let anything get
in between you and what you love.

Ciao meow.

Mow-chow.

Thanks, uncle Jimmy!

Okay, let's go.

Hey, wait, I thought your
dad's name was Jimmy.

Yeah, Chicago Jimmy.

That was Ohio Jimmy.

And he didn't mind helping out

since he's on his way to
visit Staten island Jimmy.

Well, it was nice of
your uncle to help out.

But I don't think we're
gonna make it in time.

Oh, Levi, stop worrying.

Tess, thanks for coming.

Nia, thanks for
texting Tess to come.

And, Booker, stop hoarding
the tuna sandwiches.

Oh no, I, uh, I
already ate all them.

Oh, then you're
sweating it out, boo.

- Put your shoes back on.
- Ew!

- It's so gross.
- All right, everybody, buckle up!

Seat belts.

Alrighty, let's get going.

Great.

Wait, how come Tess
gets to sit in the front?

Thou shalt not ask
mama no more questions

- this trip.
- That's not fair!

- ♪ So quiet and I wanna know ♪
- ♪ why, ooh ♪


- ♪ ooh! Yeah! ♪
- ♪ love is like a jumbo jet ♪


- ♪ why don't we just fly it? ♪
- ♪ fly, fly, fly, fly ♪

- ♪ don't want to see you fret ♪
- ♪ yeah ♪

- ♪ so shy, shy, shy ♪
- ♪ so shy, shy, shy ♪

- Hey, Chels. What's up?
- Hey!

Hey, where's Levi?

He is strapped to
the roof of the car.

That was only funny once, Rae.

I'm still laughing, Chels.

Still laughing.

Uh, no. They're asleep.
Everybody's asleep. What's going on?

I... I want to come home.

But we're bring Levi to you.

No. No, Rae.

This is over.

It's time for me to come home.

Oh, okay. Well...

You know what that means.

We're really gonna have to
strap Levi to the top of the car.

Come on, Rae! I'm serious.

Is that you mom?

Hi! Levi! Is that my baby boy?

I can't wait to see you!

Oh, honey. Oh,
I can't wait to...


E e-aah-oh-aah ...You either.

Pedal to the metal, auntie Rae!

I need to
"ee-aah-oh-aah" my mom!

Oh, okay. All right.

Guys, this is it!

The inspired inventors' cruise!

We made it just in time.

Whoa!

Look at how big that boat is.

Chill, Booker, you
acting brand-new.

Oh, so. You've been
on a cruise before?

We're talking about you.

Guys, where's my mom?

I wanna be the first one
to see her. Where is she?

Oh! There she is.

Mom! Mom! Here I am!

Levi! Levi!

Kids, go get him. Those
chicken legs run fast. Go ahead.

Excuse me, um, have
you seen my best friend?

She's about yea
tall, super bossy...

lady, I don't know where...

- Oh, I missed you so much.
- I know!

Chels, listen. I think I had a
vision of you falling off the boat.

You know what?

I did trip on the way over
here to meet you, but I'm fine.

Okay.

Where's Levi?

He got so excited,
he ran up the ramp.

The kids are getting him.
Then we're gonna see the sights.

We're gonna see the statue
of Liberty and Times Square,

and try some of that
so-called "pizza" they got here.

Oh, it's been so long
since I've seen Levi.

I can't wait to hug him and
kiss him and squeeze him.

I missed him so much.

- I... I missed the twins too.
- Oh, yeah.

And that girl across the hall.

- You know what else you missed?
- What?

Mr. Protein shake across
the street just bought a brand...

What about the...
and when he made...

Chelsea, watch your mouth!

- No! That's three horns, Rae.
- Huh?

Which means the ship's leaving.

Oh! What are we gonna do?

Mom! Mom!

Whoa. Not mom. Not mom.

Guys, where's my
mom? I don't see her.

There she is! Mom!

Aunt Chelsea! Hi!

Hey, why is the dock
moving away from the ship?

It's not the dock
that's moving, it's us!

Somebody stop that boat!
Somebody stop that boat!

I need to see my baby!

Calm down Chels.
Calm down. It'll be okay.

- No!
- Okay, wait.

- Mom?
- Kids!

Don't worry. Everything will be okay.
We'll find a way to get to you somehow.

Okay, mom.

Hey, Levi. Are you okay?

I... I can't see
her. I can't see her!

It's okay, honey.
Mommy's right here!


I can hear her.

I can hear her!

But I need to see her!

Mom! Can you see me?

I'm gonna be
honest, Levi, honey!

No, not really!

Chels, what are we gonna do?

Can't they stop the boat?
Our kids are on that boat.

No. Once the boat leaves
port, it never backs up.

They tried it once
with the Titanic,

you know, and we all
know how that turned out.

Okay, mom. We will just
go to aunt Chelsea's cabin

and wait for you to
tell us what to do next.

- Okay, Chels. What do they do next?
- Listen, kids. I'm in cabin .

Just stay there and
wait for Raven and I

to drive up and meet
you at the next port.

Oh, what's that?
Like Staten island?

It's not a ferry, Raven.
It's a cruise ship.

The next stop is Miami.

Miami?

Chels, how long is it gonna
take us to get to Miami?

Uh, by car about hours.

By cruise ship?

- Five days.
- Five days!

- Oh, no.
- Jeez!

What are we gonna do?
We don't have any money.

And any deodorant. No underwear.

- Oh.
- I know.

Listen, kids. You'll be fine.
There's -hour buffets.

There's a tween disco, you know?

There's games, prizes,

contests, you
know. It's... it's...

Well, it's a paradise.

Chels, it's a paradise
for paying customers.

- That's right.
- We brought Levi to see you.

He's the only one with a ticket.

- I know.
- My babies are stowaways.

Listen, kids, just
stick with Levi.

His wristband will help you
get anything you need, okay?

Mom, I miss you.

Oh, Levi.

Levi, I...

Well, I guess we're just
gonna have to be by ourselves

for the next five days.

I am so freaking out right now.

I know, Booker. Look,
we're gonna be okay.

I just... I just don't
know what to do.

I mean, dance, eat,
swim, win a prize.

I mean, there are just so
many choice in paradise.

Hey!

- Maybe I should get a pair of maracas.
- Yeah!

Five days?

Our kids can't be alone
on a boat for five days.

- I know.
- I barely trust them to be alone

for five minutes.

What are we gonna
do, Rae? I mean,

how are we even
gonna catch up to them?

I don't know. I don't know.

Hold on tight, Chels!

Can you do this, Raven?

Of course I can!
It's for the kids.

Now stop talking
and hold down my wig!

♪ Yep ♪
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