04x07 - Ogre baby boom & The white knight

[bunniefuu]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

GRUFFI: I just can't believe
Grammi's been saving

all this useless baby junk.

It's high time someone threw it out.

Over my dead body.

I was saving those, Gruffi. Uhn!

- Let go.
- Nothing doing.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Now look what you've done.

- Me?
- Yes.

This baby powder ruined
my Gummiberry Juice.

I'll have to dump it and start all over.

Mama. Mama.

Who asked you?

IGTHORN: If my information is correct,
King Gregor will leave today

to inspect his granaries.

And, the second he does--

[expl*si*n]

What? Blast!

How can I devilishly plot the downfall
of Dunwyn

with that infernal racket going on?

[GRUNTING]

Me kick, me kick.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Toadwart.

You bellowed, Your Dukiosity?

[SCREAMS]

Just what do you think you're doing?

Entertaining the troops.

[SCREAMS]

Well, go play in someone else's yard.

[SCREAMING THEN GRUNTING]

[ALL GRUNTING & SHOUTING]

At last, some peace and-- Ah.

There goes the old fool now.
With Gregor and his men away,

the castle
will be practically defenceless.

[PANTING]

Mission accomplished,
oh, commanding one.

Toadwart, prepare the troops for battle.

But, Dukie,
Toadie just send them away.

Then you'll just have to get them back,
won't you?

Boy, sometimes I wonder
if glamorous job really worth it.

Oh, ball, where are you, ball?

Toadie not being good sport.

Oh, I should have made Gruffi do this.

Hey, her make good ball.

GRAMMI:
Oh, perfect.

[ALL GRUNT]

Oh, look, pretty colours.

All right, troops,

playtime's over.

Dukie want you home now.

[GASPING]

[CHATTERING]

Stop acting like babies.

Babies?

Stop.

Dukie not gonna like
this infantile turn of events.

There, I'll have another batch of juice
whipped up in no time.

What the--? Oh.

Land sakes, a baby ogre.

Shoo now, go away.

[WHIMPERING]

Now, you heard me, I said shoo.
Go home.

[SNIFFLING]

[WAILING]

Poor little fella.
There, there, Grammi didn't mean it.

[GIGGLING]

Oh, I can't leave you out here
all by yourself. Mm.

Are you out of your mind?

But the poor thing is lost and confused.

Yeah. And he's ugly and smelly too.

Look, maybe we should raise
the little snookums here.

- What?
- What?

Just think,
if we raise an ogre the Gummi way,

we could teach him to be nice.

GRUFFI:
Forget it, Grammi,

ogres and Gummis are natural enemy.

AIways have been, always will be.

GRAMMI: Well, it's high time
someone tried to fix that.

All he needs is a little love.

[IGTHORN LAUGHS]

IGTHORN: My scathingly brilliant
as*ault plan is almost too easy.

Even a child could carry it out.

That good to hear, Dukie.

[OGRES YELLING]

IGTHORN:
What have you done to my ogres?

Maybe they're going through
second childhood.

You'd better figure out a way
to bring them back, Toadwart,

or you'll be going through the wringer.

Yes, Your Oppressiveness.

[GRUNTING]

Aah!

I think he likes you, Dukie.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, come down from there,
you little baboon.

[GRUNTING]

Gruffi is right, pumpkin,

you could hurt someone that way.

Why don't you come down
like a nice ogre?

[COOS]

[GRUNTS]

[CRASHING]

[OGRE LAUGHING]

That's it, kid.
I'm through playing games with you.

[COOING]

[CRASHING]

[LAUGHS]

Now, now, baby, don't hit. It's not nice.

[PANTING]

Now, make nice to Gruffi.

[SLURPS]

Blech!

GRAMMI:
Ho-ho-ho. Oh, that's much better.

[CHATTERING]

IGTHORN:
Toadwart. Toadwart.

Haven't you found a cure yet?

Time is running out.

Sorry, Your Impatientness, but
babysitting Toadie has come up with zip.

But I did find a tasty recipe
for slug fungus pie.

Why are you reading a cookbook?

It has more pictures.

Imbecile.
You want to learn about child-rearing,

let me give you a crash course.

- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Get off me, you cretinous crawlers.

And don't call me "Daddy."

[GIGGLING]

Don't do that, snookums, it's not nice.

Ptooey. What is this stuff?
Tastes like pond scum.

That's because it is.

The Great Book says
it's a baby ogre's favourite food.

Oh. Wah-wah!

Oh, no, the poor thing is still hungry
and I'm plum out of scum.

- I better get some more.
- Oh.

Don't worry, doll,
Grammi will be right back.

- Gruffi will take care of you.
- Huh?

What do you want me to do with him?

Why don't you give the little scruffer
a bath?

Why don't we just save time
and throw him in the river?

[WAILING]

Gee, he's acting
like he's never taken a bath before.

Quit your bellyaching, kid,
A little soap and water never hurt anyone.

Grow up.

[GRUFFI SCREAMS]

Uh... How Zook get here?
Must have fallen down bunny hole.

[GROANS]

Gee, that never happens to me
when I take a bath.

That's because you're not an ogre,
Cubbi.

Looks like the soapy water
made him grow.

Well, now that he's gone,
who's gonna tell Grammi?

I will. And it will be a pleasure.

IGTHORN:
Blast it.

If Toadwart doesn't find that cure soon,

King Gregor will return
before I can make my move.

Howdy, Dukie.

A fully grown ogre. At last.

Me happy to see you too.

Get your filthy mitts off me,
you chucklehead.

Dukie fickle.

GRAMMI: Land sake, I should have known
that the onIy pond scum in season

is here in Drekmore.

Oh, well, baby's gotta eat.

Ah. What luck. A Gummi bear.

[GASPS]

- Igthorn.
- Ha.

This day is looking up after all.

Great, I knew messing with ogres
was gonna get her in trouble.

Let go of me, you monster.

[GRUNTS]

You dare splash me,
the future king of Dunwyn?

I'll pulverize you
and I'll squash you like a bug.

[GASPS]

Hit Gummi lady?
Oh, no, Dukie, don't hit.

What did you say?

- It not nice.
IGTHORN: Yaah!

- Let me go of me, you nitwit.
- Snookums?

IGTHORN: I'll hit whoever I want.
- Psst. Hey, Grammi.

Untie me, you dolt.

Not until Dukie learn lesson.

He bad boy.

GRUFFI:
I hate to admit it, Grammi,

but maybe you do know something
about raising ogres.

It just takes a little tender loving care.

Too bad you never had the chance
to raise Igthorn.

He might have learned to be nice.

Igthorn? Nice?

In two words: Impossible!

[IGTHORN GROANS]

IGTHORN:
If I never see another ogre again,

it'll be years too soon.

[GROANS]

OGRES:
Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Oh, no.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Get away, you brats. Get away.

[IGTHORN SCREAMS]

IGTHORN:
Toadwart.

No more ogre-sitting for Toadie.

Now ogre is sitting on Dukie.

[CHUCKLES]

[MAN SINGING UPBEAT SONG]

[ALL CHEERING]

Can you believe it?
The White Knight here in person.

He's coming to receive an award
from King Gregor.

And I get to be his page
while he's here.

Boy, you're lucky, Cavin.

Yeah. Someday I wanna be
just like him.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

[CROWD GASPS]

Whoa, Destiny, whoa!

Wow, he is good.

Welcome to Dunwyn, Sir Victor.

Allow me to present my daughter,
Calla.

Ah. Her beauty is a beacon

which doth outshine the very stars.

[SIGHS]

My word, does this happen often?

Constantly.

Pity. Cavin,

please show Sir Victor to his quarters.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Sir Victor, I'm meased to pleet you.

- I mean, I'm--
- Come, good fellow,

fetch my bags and I'll tell thee how I smote
the giant wombat of Wellington.

And then Destiny and I sent
the foul beast hurling to it's doom.

Wow.

Tell me about the time you creamed
the parsnip with the pelador.

- Please?
- Patience, Cavin.

First, I must sally forth to slay a dragon
or rescue a fair maiden.

If I don't right at least three wrongs,
I'm grouchy all day.

Ride, Destiny, ride!

I've gotta see this.

[HUMMING]

[NEIGHS]

What is it, Destiny?

[GRUNTS]

TOADIE:
So, famous White Knigit.

not so tough
against cr*ck ogre commando team.

Ogres, fetch.

[GASPS]

Defend thyselves, villains.

Time for perceptive Toadie
to make strategic withdrawal.

[GRUNTING]

Surrender, rogues.
I have thee outnumbered one to five.

IGTHORN:
Modest as ever, Victor.

VICTOR:
Sigmund?

Yes, it's Sigmund.

Sigmund?

After all these years,

have you no greeting for me,
dear brother?

Not that I care to repeat
in mixed company.

Oh, cut the Mr. Pure Pose, Vic,
you're an Igthorn.

Yes, and so I must forever make amends
for my family's treachery.

Same as when you were a kid.

AIways going around
protecting the oppressed

and saving the downtrodden.

What kind of hobby is that
for a -year-old?

Unhand me, despicable despot!

Do-gooder!

- Malcontent!
- Mama's boy!

Better a mama's boy
than Siggy Soggy Socks.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!

Heh-heh-heh. Siggy Soggy--

Don't ever call me that.

But enough reminiscing.

In honour of your visit,
I've decided to tell the world

that we are brothers.

No, you wouldn't.

Yes, he would.

- Will you butt out?
- Will you butt out?

Yup, they're brothers.

Think, Vic, no more medals, no parades.
No one will ever trust you again.

My life will be ruined.

Of course, I might still keep
our little secret if--

No.

Just say it. What do you want?

I just have one teensy weensy favour
to ask,

brother.

I know I saw him just up ahead.
Maybe he's--

Remember, partner,
complete your task by dawn.

Understood?

Good fellow.

[NEIGHING]

[LAUGHS]

Sir Victor and Igthorn? No.

KING: And so for courage, valour
and incredible decency,

I present you with this,
our highest honour,

- the grand royal cluster of Dunwyn.
MAN: Hooray for Sir Victor!

[ALL CHEERING]

I do not deserve this.

Fearless, heroic, and modest too.

But you've gotta believe me, Sir Tuxford.

I saw him with Duke Igthorn.

If Sir Victor is in cahoots with Igthorn,
then I'm king of the ogres.

I know what I saw.

MAN:
I still don't see the Big Dipper.

- Well, if you look up there, it's right--
BOTH: Ooh!

Oh, now I see it.

[GROANS]

That should satisfy Sigmund.

[GASPS]

- Cavin!
- So it's true, you are helping him.

- Why?
- You wouldn't understand.

You're right, I don't.

Your whole life has been spent
fighting people like Igthorn.

You're supposed to be a hero.

VICTOR:
Believe what you wish.

You traitor.

You're no better than Duke Igthorn.

Sir Tuxford, wake up.

[SNORING]

Yah! What, huh--? Ooh.

Sir Victor's a spy for Duke Igthorn.

TUXFORD:
Oh, that Igthorn nonsense again?

Oh, go back to bed, boy.
And keep your silly nightmares to yourself.

But I saw him.

Heh. Next thing you'll tell me
you saw Gummi bears.

Gummi bears? That's it.

CAVIN: I just don't understand
how Sir Victor could do this.

Well, I'm not surprised.

I wouldn't trust any human
as far as I could throw him.

Present company excepted, of course.

All my life I wanted to be just like
the White Knight but now--

Look, if no one believes Cavin,
then it's up to us to save the king.

Now, you're talking.

We'll mop the floor
with that dirty White Knight.

I'm so brilliant.
I've even outdone myself this time.

While Gregor sleeps,
we shall sack the castle from within.

CAVIN:
Here they come.

And away we go.

There's the signal.

[CHANTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Time for a little wake-up music.

[BELL RINGING]

One, two, one, two, three.

[ALL PLAYING INSTRUMENTS]

What the--?

Drat, those walking throw rugs
will ruin everything.

att*ck!

And so it begins.

But Igthorn will ruin me. I am a hero.

At least I used to be.

Here, Cavin.

It's time those ogres hit the bricks.

And vice versa.

Gonna hit.

Oh, oh, oh!

Full speed ahead--!

Toadie save you, Dukums.

Oh, boy, that hurt.

Pull harder, you ignoramus.

Why, wee Toadie is pulling as hard as
he can, Your Corpulence.

Dunwyn will soon be mine.
But first things first.

Say farewell, Crummi Bears.

VICTOR:
Enough.

Sir Victor.

Surrender, fiend.
I have the strength of ten

for my heart is pure.

My cause is just
and good shall ever triumph--

Oh, put a cork in it.

[GRUNTING]

You never were a match for me, Vic.
You and your perfect teeth.

And your blond hair.

And your stupid voice.

Neither thy taunts nor thy sword
shall touch me, Sigmund.

That so?
Well, once I make mince meat of you,

- I'll do the same to your stupid horse.
- Say what you like about me,

but leave my horse out of this.

[SCREAMING]

Buoyant Toadie help
waterlogged dukeness--

You're a fool for coming back, Victor.

I warned you, I'll tell.

No, I will.

People of Dunwyn, for many years,
I, Sir Victor, have held a grave secret.

Duke Igthorn is my brother.

What?

- It can't be.
- No.

Uh-oh.
He's gonna get dungeon duty for sure.

This is grave news, Sir Victor.

But one must judge a man
by his own qualities,

and not by the deeds
or misdeeds of his kin.

You have proven
that you truly are a hero.

[ALL CHEERING]

Young Cavin,
today I faced my greatest enemy.

My own selfish pride.

And thanks to thee, lad,

I won.

From now on,

thou art my hero.

Wow.

VICTOR:
Farewell, brave Cavin.

Now ride, Destiny, ride!

Boy, he is good.