02x01 - The Masquerade Part 1

[bunniefuu]

I feel like he has been missing in action.

And he's not returning my texts, he's not returning my calls...

has anybody seen him?

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- The evil of the house had been contained,

or so Joey believed.

But it had a found a way into the cracks in his soul,

and there it festered and grew,

until an even greater evil began to call it...

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Taking Joey through time,

to another era

and to another den of evil.

♪ ♪

[door slams]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

[screaming]

♪ ♪

[eerie music]

- Your presence is most urgently requested.

- Ay!

Where you goin'?

Lookin' like a medieval Girl Scout.

- My friends,

I've been away for far too long.

I want to invite you to a masquerade ball

at an estate like no other.

I'll explain everything after you arrive.

- "To attend, you must assume a persona

reminiscent of the Victorian Era?"

- "And be dressed accordingly, or the carriage,

which can bring you across time."

- "Will remain invisible to your eyes."

- "A package will accompany your invitation

"with the proper attire,

which may contain a useful object."

- What's this?

- "There will be people and creatures

"unique to the estate

"that know their place

"whom you will interact with.

"You, however, will have no knowledge of what is to come.

"You will be a newborn babe in this exciting

and sometimes frightening place."

- No, no, no!

I am not going to another party by Joey.

- Not today, Satan!

- Last time, eight people d*ed.

Worst house party ever.

[symphonic music]

♪ ♪

- I am Alex, and I am a novelist.

- I'm Liza Koshy, and I am the explorer.

- I am Tyler Oakley.

I am a thespian.

- I'm Lauren, and I am the engineer.

- My name is Jesse, and I am the outlaw.

- I am Tana. I am a saloon girl.

- My name is Andrea Russet. I am the mystic.

- My name is DeStorm Power.

I am a railroad tycoon.

- My name is Gabbie.

I am a vaudevillian.

[indistinct chatter]

- I absolutely feel like

I'm walking into a life-size dollhouse.

This place is unbelievable.

- I've never been to a ball before,

but after seeing my girlfriend Lauren

in that dress, there's one in the near future.

- Well, it's his house.

He's probably just here somewhere.

- No, he's been missing for a few days.

- I'm really excited.

I've never done anything like this

where I get to dress up with all of my friends.

- Oh! - [indistinct]

- Oh, hey!

- Welcome to my home.

My name is Dorian.

You all look so delicious.

- I know that Joey likes theatrics,

but I started to get a lot of bad energy

when Dorian came down the stairs.

- Excuse me. Where's Joey?

- He wanted me to greet you on his behalf,

as he should be making his entrance shortly.

I see you've met my daughter, Alison.

- When I saw Alison for the first time,

I was like, "Oh, she's kinda hot."

She a little creepy, though.

- Why don't you get our guests some drinks?

- We're gonna wake up--

- I propose a toast!

- A toast. - A toast!

- To Joey Graceffa

- To Joey! - To Joey!

- The man of the hour.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- To Joey, wherever he may be.

[indistinct chatter]

- My first impression of the mansion is

pure decadence.

I feel at home.

- Now, enjoy the decor,

'cause I shall return for you

when all is ready.

- Oh, my gosh. - What a beautiful home.

- The chandelier!

- You're beautiful. - You're beautiful.

- So what are you?

- A mystic.

- What?! - What?!

- No way. What does that mean?

- What does that--yeah. - Um, I do a lot of potions.

I talk to spirits.

There's a lot of spirits here tonight, actually.

- Wait, wait, what do you do?

- I explore. - Explore what?

- I explore anything and everything.

Any crevice, any underneath of the skirt,

any inside the pants, anything like that,

I'm exploring it.

- I would say just avoid--

avoid, uh, dark-- dark doorways.

I'm seeing bad... - But I love dark doorways.

- I just love to be the center of attention.

- I--I mean--I see that head to toe.

- What do you do?

- Uh, well, I'm a thespian, of course.

- I'm a vaudevillian.

Are you single?

- I am exploring that.

- Oh!

- Tell me about your money.

And your assets.

I am a saloon girl.

And I embody a girl who comes from nothing,

and she hustles her way up.

- Railroads.

- So how tight is your security

on the, uh, these railroads?

- How big is your g*ng?

- Jesse looks like a outlaw.

He look, he looks-- he looks, like, he's sneaky.

I'ma have to watch him.

- I'm just trying to survive.

- I mean, aren't we all?

[soft dramatic music]

How did you create this?

- I mean, just a little something.

I'm an engineer, so I create things of all sorts.

In style, of course.

- You made that booty? - I made this booty.

- That's what Alex is writing about.

- Yeah, this is the muse. This is the muse.

- Are your books on Audible.com?

- No, no. Not yet.

- Kindle? - No, it's not--

- Libraries? - I haven't--

- They're just up here right now.

- Yeah, they're right here right now.

- It'd be a shame if they were--

anything would happen to you tonight.

- Look. What is this? - That's him..

That's Dorian. - That's Dorian!

- Yeah.

- That's a Daddy, if I've ever seen one.

- This is the guy.

This is the guy that came downstairs.

- Wait, that's him? - This is--this is Dorian.

- I noticed something was off with the painting.

So I said, "Hold up. We got to check this painting."

- Whoa! - What?!

How did you just see that?

- Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Found a part of a map.

- Wait, wait. - We found a part of a map.

- Wait, wait. - we found something too!

We found a thing! It's a puzzle.

- Well, it says either "live" or "evil."

- This has to do with something.

It wouldn't be open on this page

if it didn't have a meaning. - There's no way.

- Okay, so-- - Try "Dorian."

That's that guy's name. Or is that--that's too many.

- It can only be four letters.

- A little bit too many.

- It's not Joey. It's definitely not Joey.

- I am the puzzle master.

I'm a Sudoku master.

- I don't think that's it.

There we go! - I feel like we should--

- Got it, got it. - What do you got?

- No. - Uh, you broke it.

- I think I just broke it. - We broke it.

- And this guy--we just met this guy; he's here.

- Do you think he was just reading about himself

before he came down here? - No.

This is super cryptic. Like, cryptic AF.

So we're like, okay, and we took the book down with us

to show everyone-- just to, like,

bring the evidence down to the group.

Okay, so this bookmark says "evil" on one side

and "live" on the other.

- [gasps] That sounds like an Eminem lyric.

- Evil! - Evil?

- That's what it is. It has to be "evil."

- Or "live." Try "live" or "evil."

- So we put "evil" into the combination,

and my heart is racing.

And it works.

[all cheering]

- It's a-- - The map?

- It's the other half of the map?

- A key! - A key.

- So we need to find something that's locked.

- Could you come with me? - Yeah.

So Alison pulls Alex and I aside,

and I'm thinking, "Okay, you're shady."

- You're gonna have to leave.

- We need to leave?

- Get all your friends and go.

It's not safe here.

- What do you mean, it's not safe?

- Is there somebody here?

I'm like, "Oh, my God.

Girl, I'm not here for this."

Like, I don't trust you!

But, like, also, I feel like I need to trust you

because I don't think any of this is good.

- Your father's ready for you in the ballroom.

- I feel like we should go. - We should go.

We should just--let's just go.

Something's not right about this.

- Something's wrong.

- Everyone, uh, if you could just follow me.

- What? [overlapping speech]

- Where's she gonna take us?

- I get bad vibes.

- [muffled scream]

[all shouting]

- All of a sudden, Liza's screaming.

I turn around, the door slams,

and she is gone.

- It just happened so fast, I felt like

everyone was in shock.

- We can't leave Liza!

- She's gone! She's gone!

- We're really bad friends.

We are not good friends.

- Not matter what happens, we have to stick together.

- Is nobody concerned about Liza?

She literally just got taken by a really hot dude.

Where is Liza?

- This is Joey we're talking about.

It could just be theatrics.

- All I know is, we need to get Joey and Liza

and get out of here.

- Listen!

My father's lying to you, okay?

He's not the owner of this estate.

You need to stay close to me tonight, okay?

- Okay.

- Bring in the guests.

- I mean, Joey invited us to have a good time.

- You're probably dying first. - I know.

God.

- Time to get lit. It's time to get lit.

I like your mask.

- Stay with Alison.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I'm first, Alison.

- Back off. I already laid claim.

- Okay, things are a little wacky.

- Stay close.

- They're talking about claiming people.

♪ ♪

- You don't want to join this dance.

- I wanted to join that game. - No, you do not.

Trust me.

- Um, you guys?

- Ladies and gentlemen!

Dinner has arrived!

[thunder cracks]

- They are vampires. - We are dinner.

[screaming]

[suspenseful music]

- But first...

the appetizer.

- Oh! That's Joey!

all: Joey! Joey!

♪ ♪

- I was all down for a ball.

And then it just got real weird, real fast.

- Alison, darling, do you care for a drink?

You seem a bit pent-up.

- I'm not thirsty.

- Oh, you disappoint me.

Bring in the other warm one.

[all screaming]

- Liza!

- Guys?

- Now it all makes sense.

Dorian called us delicious.

There are vampires trying to eat us.

This is not what I signed up for.

- Why am I here?!

Why are we all here?

I'm about to get k*lled

in front of all these people I just met.

I didn't even have a chance to party yet.

- No! No!

No! Liza!

- I'm done waiting, Alison!

- Back off! [smack]

- Oh!

[heavy blast] - Get out! Get out! Go!

[indistinct shouting]

[blast] Get out!

- Go, go, go! - Go, go, go!

- Alison! Lock the door!

Morgan, secure the corridor exit!

The rest of you, follow me!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Why are we in chains? - Ugh, this is so painful.

- Joey, what is this?

- How did you get here? - How did you get me here?

You invited me here, Joey.

- I did not invite you here.

- Yes, you did.

You invited us to a dinner party

and this doesn't look like dinner!

- Last time this happened, I took some responsibility

because I invited my friends into that situation.

I didn't know what was going to happen.

This time, I had no part inviting my friends.

Someone set me up.

- What happened to you? Why are you beaten?

- I don't know. I don't remember really much.

- What is that tube coming out of you?

- They've been feeding off me.

Apparently these vampires are not keen on...

taking it directly from the neck.

They like to pour it in a glass.

Fancy.

- We need keys. We need keys.

Right? - What's that lever?

Wh-what's the--this lever? - Can you reach?

- Okay, you're chained in. I'm not.

- [yelps] - Oh, my God.

Oh, my--did that hurt you? Did that hurt you?

Did that hurt you?

Now, I love Joey,

but I want to get the heck out of this house.

- Just do it. Just do it. Just do it.

- Oh, my God!

Okay, you're free.

I'm not.

You are, though.

Hello?

Hi, yes, excuse me.

Is anybody gonna save me?!

[overlapping speech]

- All right, no vampires in here, right?

- Okay, guys, we have to figure out...

- What is going on? - Where's Joey?

Where's Liza? Are they okay?

- This is my kinda party. - We should get out of here

and then call for help.

Why would we stay here?

- So you're gonna just Uber home?

You can't leave.

- So I think we're all thinking the same thing.

We should get out of here 'cause there's vampires,

but we can't leave Joey.

- If you want to save Joey,

we have to take down my father.

- Why would you betray your father?

- There are other people who want out.

I'm doing this for them.

Okay, now, a stake to heart

is not going to be enough to k*ll a vampire

as powerful as my father.

He has to be placed in a circle of purified salt,

b*rned by a sun stone,

and then stabbed.

- So we have to get ice? - Salt.

- Salt? - You know what?

My father used to keep purified salt in this room

in case there's a rebel vampire.

- Of course he did.

- Who is this Alison girl?

Why is she being so nice to us?

She's a vampire too.

- I'll keep watch for you all.

If there's a vampire coming,

you'll hear this bell.

- Oh, God. - If they come,

you need to get out of sight.

If they see you, they'll drag you away. Okay?

- Can we k*ll the vampires? - If we find the salt.

- I was feeling like I wanted to leave,

but now I feel like there's a bigger story here

that I want to stay and uncover.

- Now, you gonna ring that bell, right?

You will ring the bell, right? - I'll ring the bell.

I promise. - What do we have?

The key... - We have the map.

- The map. - The map.

- And we have to get out of here.

- Who else is here?

- I don't know. - What's going on?

- All of us are here to see you for our dinner party.

There's, there's--

I forgot everybody's names.

A bunch of people here were invited

to come to your dinner party.

- That wasn't me.

- Okay-- - I'll tell you that.

Do you think I would invite you

and then just be chained up here?

- Uh, I don't know.

You don't remember how you got chained up.

It could be your kink.

- Kink? - I don't know.

If you're kinky like that.

Eh? - No.

That not a thing?

Wait, how did you get here?

You have no idea how?

- I just remember, like-- oh God, I--

um, I just...

I don't know.

I feel bad, the fact that Liza's

in this position with me right now.

It--it sucks, 'cause I know what it feels like,

and to know that one of my friends is gonna possibly

go through what I went through,

like, I don't want that for her.

- [muttering] [gasps]

Oh, that feels so good.

- Let's get the F out of here.

- Okay, please.

- Did anybody check in, like, the cushions?

- Did anybody check in Tana's cleavage?

I mean, I get, you know,

wanting to get a little bit of attention.

But, you know, I guess we all choose different ways

to get that attention.

Guys, I found a scroll.

- Wait, I found a scroll too.

- As did I--found a scroll.

- What's it say? - Wait a minute.

- Hold on a sec-- - Mine says, "3B."

- We're finding little baby scrolls

that have a number and a letter on them, and a shape.

- Okay, well, the shapes have to mean something.

- Three scrolls. - There's two rectangles

and one triangle.

- All right, I found another one, y'all.

I found another one.

Of course I did, because I'm the mother--

You cannot be a billionaire

without having a strategy.

Plus, you got to have a pretty high IQ.

- I had no idea we're-- [bell dings]

[all shouting]

- Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

- Alison rings the bell.

Just like alarms us that vampires are on their way.

But my dress is just so big and voluptuous.

[suspenseful music]

- [screaming]

♪ ♪

- Now, the vampire is guarding the only door

that we're able to get out of.

So we immediately start looking around

for something that can help us get out of here.

- Maybe there's some sort of thing that we can use

to lure them away.

- Lure him--your blood.

- My--my blood?

- What if you use your blood to lure him away?

- That's a good idea.

- You want to put some blood in the goblet?

- Yeah, let's try it. - Okay.

- Wait, what's that?

It looks like something goes there.

- Oh. - You know what that symbol is?

That's the symbol for life, I'm pretty sure.

- How do you know that?

- I played Yu-Gi-Oh! as a kid,

and there was like a--

a card on there that said...

- I didn't go to college. I'm not very educated.

- Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh! is a card game, so...

- Oh. - Yeah.

- I guess I don't have to go to college for that.

- Oh, wait. - Oh, my God, a note.

There's a note. - Okay, "The machine holds

the secret to slaying the king of the vampires."

- The machine holds the secret... but it's locked.

- Oh, there's a lock, okay. - Okay, it's locked.

- All right, we need to find something...

- The keys that we have! - Another fricking key.

Wait, you have the key? - No, the keys that we used.

- These look very different.

- We're testing out every key on the box.

None of them work.

We look at the lock, and I'm looking at the keyhole,

and it reminds me of something that I've seen before.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Does this work?

- [gasps] No. - Does this work?

Why was this key on my body?

Who put that there? I didn't dress myself?

At what point was I naked in a carriage?

- Oh, it goes in. - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. - Whoa!

- Ohhh! - That's so sick.

- Oh, my God. Wait, am I a vampire?

That makes me so confused.

We got it off. Open it.

- [gasps] - It's a book.

- It's a woman in the book.

- [whispering] Oh, my God.

It looks like my grandma.

- Okay, so what all do we have?

- We have seven scrolls,

half a map, and that's it.

And the key.

- So what does all of this mean?

- There's another scroll. - Wait, wait.

- If had to pick somebody who might be the smartest guest,

I would say maybe Alex?

He was looking everywhere.

He was thinking about everything.

He's somebody that we're not gonna survive this without.

- What, did we find-- - Oh, here's a box!

[all shouting] - Oh, my God.

- Do you have a key? - I do.

- The key that we found earlier unlocks the small box.

Thank God.

- Oh, the numbers to the-- [overlapping speech]

- Okay, listen, listen.

"Recreate the king's last game of pool

"using these nine numbered balls.

"Leave the others in the pocket.

"Use a cue to line them up perfectly.

The room holds the combination."

- I don't know what any of that means.

- I do, I do, I do. I understand.

- These. - Okay.

- So 1C. So rectangle, and it goes here.

So 1--so this is 1.

- Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

There's one missing. - We're missing one scroll.

- We all need to look for the last scroll.

[dramatic music]

- There has to be another one. - Found it.

- Good job.

- "The wooden stake of Van Helsing,

"the great hunter of vampires,

is in..." In-bway? In-bed?

- I didn't go to college, remember?

- Okay, "In-bueded with a dark magic

"from the blood of 1,000 dead vampires.

"To prevent it being used to k*ll him,

"Dorian kept it here in the ballroom.

"Three ankhs must be placed in the machine

"and turned upside-down

to reveal its location."

- That's an ankh. The little, like, thing

that you said symbolized life.

There's three of them in this room.

- Okay, let's look. - Ankh?

- Okay, this door looks suspicious.

- Oh! - [shouting]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Check that one. Check that one.

I find the first cross, and I'm not surprised.

Don't go too close to the window.

Hold on, I think I just-- I found another one!

- Girl! Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, I am such a good explorer.

I found two of them. - You really are.

I want to find one.

We're searching around the room.

I am still kind of out of it,

so I feel like I'm a waste,

and I'm relying so much on Liza.

- Okay, it's really hidden.

That was underneath a seat.

Maybe this one's more in, like, plain sight?

- Yeah, good thinking.

- [gasps] Come here, come here, come here, come here!

- Are you insane? - Wait, I think it's in there!

I think it's in there!

Is it in there? - Yes, it is!

- It is? - Oh, my God, I found it.

- [laughing] No. - I found the last one.

- No, you didn't.

[tense music]

- And then three. - Last one, last one I have is,

um, triangle B. - This goes right there.

Put a cue ball, last O, right there, in the corner.

- Oh, God. - And something's gonna happen.

- Oh, oh. - Brace yourself.

- Are we doing it? - Put it down. Go.

- Oh, the box opened! - Oh, my God, you guys.

- The box opened. - Oh, sh*t.

- It's another key! - Okay, well, what--

- Try that. Try that right there.

- Salt jar is empty, though.

- So the key opens this glass case with pool cues,

but we need salt, not pool cues.

- What did she say we needed to do?

A stake? - She said that we need--

- A circle of salt. - A circle of salt.

- And--and what? - And then we s*ab him.

- Wait, wait, wait, are we stabbing someone?

I'm not down. - No, we can't s*ab him.

- I'm so down. [bell dings]

- It's ringing! The bell! - Oh, the bell.

Oh, the bell. - All right, you little shits!

- Guys! - [giggling]

You smell nice. Come with me.

Come with me, sweetie!

- You guys, help me! You guys, help!

You guys, you're just gonna let her take me?

- I do not like things surprising me.

The second something pops up, I am screaming

like a three-year-old girl.

It's not pretty. - Okay, so we need salt.

Is it at the bar?

- No, there's no salt over here.

We looked everywhere.

Check the cue-- check the side of the cues.

- Oh, maybe we have to play. - Who's got the jar?

- Found it. - You found something?

- I found the salt! - Put it in there!

Put it in! - Put it in! Put it in!

- DeStorm realizes that the bottom of the pool stick

opens up, which has the salt inside it.

- That's why I'm a billionaire.

- I guess that's all the salt we need.

- Nah, we gonna check the rest of these doggone sticks.

- Maybe just get your hands a little closer together.

- Oh, sh*t. - Oh, my God!

[screaming]

- Now that we have the three crosses

I found, we have to put them

onto the machine, flip them upside down...

- And you flip it upside down.

- Flip it upside down Yeah, yeah.

- It's a book! - What the heck is that?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Where was the bell?!

- [indistinct shouting]

- "The only way past your guard

is to impale him in the heart."

We have to m*rder him.

- We have to k*ll him?

No,I've never k*lled anybody before.

Let alone a vampire.

- Hey! [shouting, grunting]

- Oh, sh*t. Should I help?

[blood spurting]

- Damn, girl.

- Still don't trust me?

- Are you into murdering?

- Let's go for it.

These vampires have kept me their prisoner,

and I'm ready to get my vengeance.

- You do got a lot to pay back for.

They took a lot of your blood.

[whispering] Okay.

[intense music]

- Hey!

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Ahh! Okay!

♪ ♪

- Stop, stop! - Joey!

- None of you are leaving this place alive!

[together] Who hasn't done anything?

- We just think that you should fight for your life.

- [screaming]

- Oh, sh*t!

- How many more people have to die?

- How do we get out of here?

- You guys!

- It's your fault! You did this!

- No, no! I want to live!

- We're all definitely changing

in a bad way.