S2 - Arthur, It's Only Rock 'n' Roll

[bunniefuu]

Backstreet Boys: “Yeah.
You are my fire. The one

desire. Believe when I
say I want it that way.”

Muffy: Oh, me too! I
want it that way too.

Backstreet Boys: “But we are two worlds
apart.”

Muffy: Nick, we’re
not that far apart.

Backstreet Boys: “Can't
reach to your heart.”

Muffy: I’m here! Over here!

Backstreet Boys: “When you say
that I want it that way.”

Muffy: Get off!

Francine: Sorry. What
are you doing anyway?

Muffy: I’m busy

Backstreet Boys: “Don’t want to hear you
say. Ain’t nothing but a heartache.

Ain't nothing but a mistake.

Muffy: Nick! I’m here!

Backstreet Boys: “I never
want to hear you say…”

Francine: What are you doing?
You have to stop

listening to this rot. It’s
destroying your brain.

Muffy: What?? Are you talking about the
Backstreet Boys, the ones who are coming

to town in four weeks, six days, and
fifty- looks at watch seven minutes?

Francine: Uh-huh. Rot.
Maybe they were good once,

but now they’re just sellouts.
Look at them!

Muffy: I know. Aren’t they cute?

Francine: Muffy! Being cute is not the
point. The point is they’re sellouts.

Muffy: Francine, if you had a band,
you’d sell out in five minutes.

Francine: I would not. Music is sacred.
I would never sell out.

Muffy: Oh yeah? You’d be just like everybody else.
First you’d have a hit song, then you’d make

a CD, then you’d make a video where you’d wear a
cute little costume and learn how to dance and

flounce your hair right. And the next thing you’ll
know you’ll be making commercials and a ton

of money, and, by the way, when that happens you
owe me half of it, because it was all my idea.

Francine: I would never do that. If I had a band,
we’d do nothing but make really good music,

and if anyone even tried to make us go on TV
or dance, I’d just quit.

Muffy: Well, we’ll never
know, will we, because you

don’t have a band and you
probably never will.

Francine: If I do, it’ll be a million
times better than those Blob Street Boys.

Muffy: Hh! How could you??
You, my best friend.

Francine: Oh brother. I’m
getting out of here.

Muffy: Go! And don’t come back
until you can apologize to Nick.

Francine: Until I what?? Oh man,
you are losing it.

Muffy: Don’t worry, Nick. I know
she didn’t mean it.

Backstreet Boys: I never
want to hear you say I

want it that way. Cause
I want it that way.”

Prunella: What does Francine know anyway? I
mean, who doesn’t like the Backstreet Boys?

Muffy: You said it. Cute guys with
stock portfolios. What’s not to like?

Prunella: Auditions… for a rock band?

Francine: Uh-huh. A band
that won’t sell out.

Muffy: Like anyone would even ask you to.

#

Buster: And it’s gonna be
a real live rock band.

Arthur: And if we get in, we could travel
around the world and be rich and famous

and not go to school anymore.

Mrs. Read: I wouldn’t count on it, honey.
Very few bands are that successful.

Buster: It’s what happened to the
Backstreet Boys. They answered

an ad and, boom, just like
that they had their own jet.

D.W.: Hey, if Arthur’s gonna try
out for a band and be rich and

famous then I wanna try out for a
band to be rich and famous too.

Arthur: The only song you
know is “Crazy Bus”.

D.W.: “Crazy Bus” is for babies.
I know a million better songs.

#

D.W.: (sings:)
"Skinnamarinky-dinky-dink, skinnamarinky

doo, I love you".

Francine: Thank
you, that’s enough.

D.W.: (sings:) "Skinnamarinky-dinky-dink,
skinnamarinky doo…"

Francine: I said thank you!

D.W.: But I’m not finished. There’s
five more verses. (sings:)

"Skinnamarinky-dinky-dink, skinnamarinky-doo…"

Francine: Next!!

D.W.: Hmph! Be careful. It’s a jungle in here.

D.W.: Well, at least you
didn’t get in either.

Buster: Can you believe it? She
gonged us both. A gong is heard.

Arthur: Let’s go.

#

Francine: That was a pointless!
I auditioned fourteen

people and they all stank.
Except for you, of course.

Mrs. McGrady: Well, you
know what they say, honey.

Francine: Uh, no.
What do they say?

Mrs. McGrady: If the
mountain won’t come to

Mohammd, then Muhammad
must go to the mountain.

Francine: If the
mountain won’t… Hm.

#

Binky: I don’t get it. Why are
you calling me a mountain?

Francine: I told you, it’s just an
expression. Look, you’re the best musician

I know. Will you be in my band or not?

Binky: Is there
any ballet in it?

Francine: In a rock band? No.
But there are snacks.

Binky: Why didn’t you say so?
I like snacks.

Francine: So, you’ll do it?
All right!

Binky: By the way, you won’t tell
about me practicing ballet, right?

Francine: No, I won’t tell.
Okay, so, we’ve got drums,

piano, clarinet… Do you know
anyone who can play the guitar?

#

Molly: So, what’s in it for me?

Francine: Only a chance to be part
of a major musical phenomenon. Hey,

but if you’d rather sit around in
your driveway all day, fine by me.

Binky: Let me handle this. Look, you
like to play the guitar, right?

Molly: Right.

Binky: And you like
snacks, right?

Molly: Right.

Binky: So there you go.
Snacks and guitar.

Molly: What kind of snacks?

Francine: I don’t know.
Whatever you want.

Binky: Woo-hoo! So what do you say?

Francine: All right!

Arthur: I can’t believe she’s
asking Molly to be in her band.

Buster: I can’t believe
she didn’t want us.

Arthur: We should form our own band.
That’d show her.

# First Rehearsal

Molly plays the electric guitar and Mrs.
McGrady a keyboard. Binky is eating snacks.

Francine: Hey, listen up! Welcome
to our very first ever rehearsal

for our band, which will prove that
great musicians don’t sell out.

Mrs. McGrady: Right on!

Francine: Here are the rules. Number one: We hate groups
that do sell out, like for instance the Backstreet Boys.

Number two: We don’t care about fame our money or stuff
like that. Number three: I’m the boss! Any question?

Binky: (burps) What’s our name?

Francine: The band’s name? Er…

Mrs. McGrady: How about “The Five Apostles
of the New Millenium”, FAOTNM for short.

Molly: I’m not playing
in a band called that.

Francine: Relax. We’ll
worry about it later.

Okay, does everyone
have the sheet music?

Binky: Uh-huh.

clarinet, unfolds it and
puts it on the stand.

Molly: Yeah, I got it.

Francine: Ready? And a-one and a-two…
“We see the pretty boys, we see the pretty girls” Something

something… I didn’t finish this part. “We see the videos where
all the fashion plates lip-sync their ways to your hearts.”

Molly: Not bad. Did
you write this?

Francine: Yeah. “Well, no offense to them, and no offense to
you. Don't take it na-na-na-na, don’t take it personally.”

Oh, sh**t! Start over!

#

Francine practices
alone at sundown.

Francine: Now I’ve got it! “Well, no
offense to them, and no offense to you.”

#

Binky and Mrs. McGrady
approach Francine as she

is shackling her bike
in front of the school.

Binky: Okay. Before I say anything,
promise you won’t get mad.

Francine: Me? I never get mad. Unless… you’re gonna
quit the band, because you promised you wouldn’t,

and if you quit before we even get started, I will
make you sorry, Binky Barnes! Do you hear me?!

Mrs. McGrady: Whoa, girl, whoa.
It’s nothing

that bad. We just have
a little suggestion.

Francine: Oh yeah, what?

Mrs. McGrady: Well, sometimes it’s
difficult to serve two masters. Render

unto Caesar, you know, and in this case,
Caesar has been rendered too much.

Francine: What?

Binky: What she means is, you stink,
Francine. You’re good on the drums and you

sing good too, but when you do them
together… whoa-haha! Look out! Stinkeroo!

Mrs. McGrady: But don’t worry.
We have the solution.

gives a sharp whistle. Fern
comes out of the school.

Francine: What’s going on?

Fern: Um, Mrs. McGrady said you
might need a singer, and since I

like to sing I thought, you know,
maybe I could be your singer.

Francine: You?? Fern,
this is a rock band, not

a “Let’s whisper poetry
and drink tea”-party.

Mrs. McGrady: Just give
her a listen, okay?

Francine: Okay. Go ahead.

Fern: Um, what should I sing?

Francine: How about…(sarcastically:)
“Row, row, row your boat.”

Fern: Really? Okay. (sings:) “Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, I said

merrily, merrily, oh yeah, merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream.”



Was that okay? Am I in?

Mrs. McGrady: I think I can
safely say, yes.

#

Fern, Binky and Molly
sit in the Sugar Bowl.

Molly: You don’t look
like a rock singer.

Binky: Wait till you hear her. She’ll
blow your chops right out the window

and down the street for, like, two miles.

Molly: Anyway, here’s the song.
Can you learn it by tomorrow?

Fern: “Don’t take it personally.” Done.
(sings:) “Well, no offense to them,

and no offense to you. Don't take it
personally.”

Molly: Wait! We should
have some harmony on this.

Fern+Molly+Binky: “But when it comes to
rock, and when it comes to roll, don’t

need to sell it ‘cause it’s born to be
free.

People: (applaud)

Binky: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Whoa!

#

Mr. Haney: Ah. Miss Frensky. Come in,
come in. The reason I called you here

– please take a seat – I heard you have
some kind of a band, is that right?

Francine: Uh… yeah.

Mr. Haney: Do you have a
name for your little group?

Francine: Not yet. It
has to be just right.

Mr. Haney: Of course, of course. It will have to wait, Miss Tingley. I’m in the

middle of a conference. Anyway, I was wondering whether you
might be interested in performing at the PTA spring fundraiser.

Francine: Well, yeah, um… We’re not
really ready, but I guess we could.

Mr. Haney: That would be wonderful.

again. I’ll be right there, Miss Tingley.
And what kind of music do you play?

Francine: Well, stuff I write, mostly.

beeps incessantly. He
puts it in a drawer.

Mr. Haney: Oh! Any Barry Manilow in your
repertoire? He’s a great favorite of mine.

Francine: Er… no.

Mr. Haney: I suggest you look into him.
One, two, cha-cha-cha. Three four, ta-ta-ta. Oh,

I know you kids think grown-ups have forgotten how to
be groovy. But I assure you…

Miss Tingley: Mr. Haney!

Mr. Haney: Oh. H-hm. That will
be all, Miss Frensky.

We’ll see you next
Sunday in the soccer field.

#

The band is rehearsing
on the roof again.

Molly: I can’t believe you said yes.
We don’t even have a name yet.

Francine: Yeah, well, I’ll think of one.
I just need some inspiration.

She sits down in an armchair.
Binky is eating potato chips.

Binky: Are you inspirated yet?

Francine: No.

Molly: This is boring. Let’s play.

Fern: (sings:) “Don’t want
nothing but the music.

Neighbor: Hey, you kids!
I hate to tell you

this but you stink! You hear me??
You stink!

Francine: Oh yeah?! Well, you stink too,
you know. You really really… stink. Hey.

# PTA concert

At the PTA fundraiser Francine
looks through the stage

curtains at the people. Mr.
Haney stands on stage.

Mr. Haney: Before I introduce our next PTA attraction, I have an
important announcement to make. Mr. Pachiva, come on down.

Mr. Pachiva is the
winner of our raffle. Miss Tingley, please show him what he’s

won.
It’s a combination potholder and bathmat. From oven to shower

in one easy step. And now, as a fitting conclusion to this special
day, I am pleased to present the musical stylings of U… huh?

Francine looks
through the curtain.

Francine: Stink! ”U Stink“!

Mr. Haney: That’s a rather unusual name.
Hehe. Could be a typo.

It’s something along the
lines of you…

Francine: Stink!

Fern: “We see the pretty boys, we see the
Barbie girls climbing their way up the charts.

We see the videos, where all the fashion
plates lip-sync their ways to your hearts.

Well no offense to them and no offense to you.
Don't take it personally. But when it comes to

rock and when it comes to roll don't need to
sell it, 'cause it's born to be free free free!

Don't want nothing but the music! Don't need
the shiny limousine! Don't want nothing

but the music! Love it or leave it, the
music is all I need.”

Mr. Haney: Oh dear.

Fern: “The TV interviews, the glossy magazines. We
see the stars' every move.

and dances with him. The Grammys pilling up, the
money pouring in. But tell me, what does it prove? “

Mr. Haney: Francine, this
has gone on long enough!

Fern: “'Cause real rock' n roll is all about your soul.
So hey, when push comes to shove, forget about

the fluff, the music is enough. I'm sticking with
the stuff that dreams are made of. It's love!”

Mr. Haney: That’s enough now!
Stop the music!

He tries to pull the
curtain but it is jammed.

Fern: “Don't want nothing but the music!
Don’t need no People magazine! Don't

want nothing but the music! I'm pledging
allegiance, the music is all I need!

Nothing but the music!”

By the end of the song there is a
large crowd in front of the stage.

Crowd: (applause) “U Stink”!
“U Stink”!...

Prunella: “U Stink” Oh…

Arthur: “U Stink!”

Buster: Hey, aren’t we
still mad at Francine?

Arthur: Yeah, but… “U Stink”! “U Stink”!

and Mr. Haney comes on stage.
People starts leaving.

Mr. Haney: Please, people, stay calm! If you feel faint, put
your knees between your legs… I mean your head between your…

Yes, well, don’t forget to sample some delicious PTA fudge
on your way out. Remember, you can always count on fudge.

#

Behind the curtain the “U Stink”
members high-five each other.

U Stink: (Yeah!
That was awesome!)

Francine: Wait! Wait! I mean, that
was fun and all, but we have to be

careful. Stuff like this could ruin us.

Mrs. McGrady: You’re
right, we shouldn’t let it

go to our heads.

When they leave the stage, several
children and adults (including

Jenna, Rattles and the Tibbles)
are waiting for autographs.

Crowd: (excited chatter)

including Francine, smile
and give autographs.

#

In preschool Timmy shows D.W.
signatures on his face.

Timmy: I got all five. Francine,
Molly, Binky, Fern and Mrs. McGrady.

Tommy: Me too. Only I got Francine twice.

D.W.: That’s nothing. I got
trading cards, and they’re very

very cheap.

#

In class all the other kids keep
looking at Binky, Fern and Francine.

Francine: What are
you staring at?

George: Er, nothing.

Mr. Haney (on PA): Will Francine
Frensky, please report to my office.

Buster: (softly:)
Someone is in trouble.

Mr. Ratburn: That’s enough. I know
we have a couple of rock stars

in our midst, but that needn’t
distract you from your math.

Francine: Oh, brother!

#

Francine is in Mr. Haney’s office
with a journalist and a cameraman.

Mr. Haney: Apparently, they’re
from the Cable Access

and they want to… What
is it you want, exactly?

Journalist: We want to interview the girl
who formed the hottest band in Elwood City.

Francine: Who? Me?

Journalist: Of course you. We
just need fifteen minutes of your

time during recess. Is that all
right with you, Mr. Haney?

Mr. Haney: Well,
I don’t see why…

Journalist: Fabulous. Now, where can we
go that would feel authentic, natural?

# Francine's Interview

With some difficulty the journalist sits down
on a tire swing in the school playground.

Francine sits on the swing next to her. A
group of kids is standing around them.

Journalist: Oomph. Ready? Hello, everyone. I’m
here at Lakewood Elementary having loads of

fun with my dear friend Francine Frensky who
formed the group…

Francine: “U Stink”.

Journalist: That’s right, “U
Stink”, with some of her little

friends, and, boy, where you a smash
at the recent PTA fundraiser.

Francine: I, yeah, I guess.

Journalist: So what’s next for your fabulous fivesome.
Another concert? A record deal? I mean, just how do

you intend to capitalize on your success?

Francine: Why does everyone think music is about making money?
Music is about having something to say. I don’t know what

we’ll do next, but “U Stink” will never sell out. We’d rather
quit then do that.

Journalist: Well, that’s very noble. You
heard it here, folks, and that’s a wrap.

With Elwood City Access almost live at :
and : a.m. Did you get that, Manny?

Cameraman: Oh no, I forgot to turn it on.

appear in a corner of the
screen, followed by static.

Journalist: Oh.

#

Francine, Fern and Binky walk
along a school corridor.

Francine: So then she asked if
we’d perform on TV for the library

book sale, but I said no of course.

Fern: Why? Why’d you say no?
That’s crazy!

Francine: A: because this
whole fame thing is getting

out of hand. And B: nobody asked you.
It’s my band.

The Tibbles approach
them on their bikes.

Timmy: Hey, aren’t you
Francine Frensky?

Francine: You know I’m Francine Frensky.
I babysit for you.

Timmy: Will you sign my trading card.

out a crudely drawn picture
labelled “FRANSIN”.

Francine: Your what? My name isn’t even
spelled right. Where’d you get this?

Timmy: From D.W.
Hey, it’s “U Stink” and we’re

getting their autographs!

#

The preschoolers chase Francine,
Fern and Binky around a

corner, through a department
store and into a back alley.

Binky+Fern+Francine: (Right!
Left!)

They go on running. At a red light
they stop and the preschoolers stop

behind them. They all wait for the
green light, then the chase continues.

Binky: Fern?

Fern: Yes?

Binky: Are you thinking
what I’m thinking?

Francine runs on. Binky and
Fern stop and give autographs.

#

Muffy’s limousine stops next to Francine.
Francine jumps in.

Francine: Thanks, Muffy. You saved my life.

Muffy: Actually, there’s
something I want to talk to you

about. I hate to admit it, but
“U Stink” isn’t that bad.

Francine: Gee, thanks.

Muffy: No need. There is one problem,
though. You don’t have a cute one.

Francine: Muffy, I told you…

Muffy: Wait, you can thank me later. The point
is, every band needs a cute one and that’s

where I come in. I’m not only cute, but I
play the tambourine. So, what do you think?

Francine runs out of the limo.

Muffy: Just see how far you
get without a cute one!

Francine: (coughs) Miss Smartypants thinks
she knows everything. Busybody Muffy!

#

Francine walks past the Sugar Bowl.
Arthur, Buster and George are inside.

Arthur: I still think
we should form our own

band. Why should Francine
have all the fun?

Buster: Yeah, and let’s not let her
play in it, even if she begs us.

George: What would we call it?

Buster: I’ve got it.
How about “We Stink”?

George: That’s so cool!

Buster: Francine will die.

George: I stink! You stink!

Arthur+Buster+George: We all stink!

#

Arthur is doing homework in his room.
D.W. comes in.

D.W.: Arthur? Is “Frensky”
spelled with an H?

Arthur: Of course not,
it’s F-R-E-N-S-K-Y.

D.W.: How about “Fern”? Is
that spelled with a “B”?

Arthur: Why do you want to know?

D.W.: Because I made all these trading cards, and now they’re
spelled wrong, and I have to give the money back, and I

already made fourteen dollars.

Arthur: You made fourteen
dollars from this? Wow!

# Fern's Fantasy

Fern s lying on her bed.

Fern: I can’t believe I have
my own “Ferb”-card. I rock!

She has a fantasy in which she has
a punk hairdo. She is standing

outside a concert hall and giving
autographs to the other kids.

Prunella: I just had no idea you were
so cool! Fern signs Buster’s ear.

Buster: You really rock, Fern.

Fern: I know.

Manager: Fern! Hurry up! Ten
thousand fans are going to be very

annoyed, if you don’t get out
there at once!

Fern walks on stage. The other “U
Stink” members are already there.

Crowd: Fern! Fern!
Fern! Fern!...

Fern: Thank you! Yes, thank you!
I love you, I do!

Francine: I’ve had just about enough!
This is my band, Fern! I’ve started it!

Fern: What can I say? It’s me they
love, not you. That’s right, isn’t it?

Crowd: (cheers)

Fern: Sorry. My mother always
said, I’d be popular one day.

Francine: Oh.

Crowd: Fern! Fern! Fern! Fern!…

The fantasy ends. There’s a knock.
Mrs. Walters looks in.

Mrs. Walters: Goodnight, sweetie.
Tomorrow’s a brand new day.

Fern: You are so right.

#

Francine is doing her homework.

Catherine: Hey, Francine, you’re on TV!

well, not you, actually, but everyone else.

Fern: Well, it kind of took us
by surprise, so we don’t have

any plans yet. But maybe we
could make a CD or something.

Binky: Or an action figure. A “U Stink”
action figure.

Journalist: Now I’m sure you’ve
heard that the Backstreet

Boys are coming to town. Any
chance you’ll get to meet them.

Fern: I hope so. We love
the Backstreet Boys.

Journalist: You heard it here, folks.
They hope to meet the

Backstreet Boys and hope to make it big.
This is Almost Life with…

Crowd: “U Stink!”

# Francine Quits

“U Stink” are on the roof.

Francine: How dare you talk
to that lady without asking

me?? It’s people like that
who want us to sell out!

Fern: mumbles:) It’s not
selling out to go on TV.

Francine: What did you say??

Fern: I said, It’s not selling out to go
on TV and sign autographs and be popular.

Francine: What about you, Mrs.
McGrady? Do you wanna

“go on TV and sign
autographs and be popular”?

Mrs. McGrady: No, but I think
it’s silly to spend so much time

arguing. Let’s just play and have fun.

Francine: What about you, Binky?
Do you want to sell out?

Binky: Er, maybe. I need
a bigger pair of pants.

Francine: That’s it!! I hereby
dissolve “U Stink”! Pause.

Fern: Are we supposed
to melt or something?

Francine: You do what you want. I’m
leaving! There’s one

thing we got right: the name of the band.
You guys stink!

Mrs. McGrady: Oh, honey, you don’t mean
that. Come back.

Molly: So, now what?

Fern: Well, I have an idea.

#

In Mr. Ratburn’s class the P.A.
box produces a screeching sound.

Class: Aaugh!

Mr. Haney (on P.A.): Attention, everyone. I want to
remind you, that the library is holding its annual

book sale this afternoon. And we’ve just learned
that our very own “U-se hmhm” will be performing.

Francine: What?

Mr. Haney (on P.A.): Fun, fun, loads of fun. Come
one, come all. (sighs) Is it time to go home,

yet? I tell you, Friday afternoon is a bear.
What, Miss Tingley? Oh.

they are so cool but what
happened to francine

francine is so last
week she quit the group

no well then these cards
are really worthless

oh did i tell you i got tickets
to the backstreet boys!

tickets? that's nothing my dad
is a sponsor i can go backstage

Fern looks uncomfortable,
but then defiant.

# Francine's Fantasy

Francine has a dream about a TV show
doing a documentary on “U Stink”.

Interviewer: The highs, the lows, the
scandals, find out the shocking truth about

your favorite rock stars on “Behind the
Curtain”. Today, we’re taking a look

at “U Stink”, one of the decade’s
greatest bands. From its humble roots in

Elwood City, “U Stink” has soared to the
very pinnacle of success.

But
first we’ll meet the girl who started it

all, Francine Frensky, who gave her
heart and soul to “U Stink”, only to be

replaced by a digital drum.

of the “U Stink” members, including the
drum machine. She walks away sadly.

Francine is sitting on
a stool in a studio.

Interviewer: So tell me,
Francine, how did it feel

to be kicked out the world’s
most fabulous band?

Francine: In the first place,
I wasn’t kicked out, I

quit, and in the second
place…

Interviewer: And doesn’t it bother you that
your replacement has become so popular?

Fans cheer

and hold up a poster of the drum machine.
Back in the studio.

Francine: No, it doesn’t bother me. I
can’t help it if people are dopes.

Interviewer: So let’s get your story
straight. You started “U Stink”,

you quit “U Stink”, they went on to
enormous fame and fortune, and you…

Francine: Opened a popcorn stand. No,
really, it’s a great job, I swear.

While “U Stink” are on stage,
Francine is selling popcorn.

Francine: I get to go to concert for free, and the work
isn’t that hard. Plus, I handle a lot of important

financial details. . That’ll be five dollars.
Thanks.

Interviewer: When “Behind the Curtain”
returns, we’ll explore Francine’s fall

from grace and examine, why her misfortune
turned into “U Stink”’s success.

Francine’s face is seen on a screen above
the stage. The band members look at her.

Francine: I’m telling you,
it’s a great job! Look,

free popcorn! All I can eat!

Francine wakes up in her bead.

Francine: Popcorn. More Popcorn. Er!
Ugh! It wasn’t even salted.

#

The Tibbles are standing outside the
apartment building on their bikes.

Tommy: Hey, Francine! Wake up!

Francine: Didn’t you hear the news?
I’m not in the band anymore.

Timmy: Oh, we know that. Can you
tell us where Fern lives?

Our autographs are fading.

Francine: Find her yourself!
Fern,

Fern, Fern. Can’t people
talk about anybody else?

Mr. Frensky: Fern’s
on the phone.

Francine: Good! I’m gonna give her a piece
of my mind!

Mr. Frensky: I was just kidding.
The pancakes are ready.

Francine: Oh.

Mr. Frensky: Why are you
so angry at Fern, anyway.

Francine: Wouldn’t you be
angry if she stole your band?

Mr. Frensky: But weren’t
you the one who quit?

Francine: Yeah, but I had to.
They were selling out.

Mr. Frensky: Did you ever think there
might be a way to stick to your

principles and stay in the band? Why
don’t you talk it over with Fern?

Francine: No way!

Mr. Frensky: It would be a shame for “U
Stink” to lose Elwood City’s best drummer.

#

Arthur, Buster and George are rehearsing in
the Read’s living room. George switches on a

Mary Moo Cow radio with a plugged-in microphone.
Arthur plays the piano, Buster the tuba.

George: Testing. One, two… There

Arthur: Turn it down!

George: ...three.

Arthur: Is everybody ready?

Buster: Hit it, man.

George: (sings:) “Oh, our name is 'We Stink'! We
like to play rock 'n' roll music! And we don't

care what you think, because we like to play a lot
of songs!” That last part doesn’t rhyme, you know.

Buster: I know. I
couldn’t find anything

that rhymed with music.
Except for “goozik”.

Arthur: Is that a word?

Buster: No.

George: (sings:) “Oh, we stink!
Don’t say we didn’t warn

you. We stink. We’re the
coolest band in the world.“

Mrs. Read: Arthur? Er,
couldn’t you take it outside?

Arthur: But we need the piano.

#

“We Stink” rehearse in the treehouse.
Arthur

now plays a small Mary
Moo Cow keyboard.

George: (sings:) “We have Arthur on the
piano! And Buster on the tuba! “

D.W.: I hate to tell you
this, but you guys stink!

Arthur: No, “We Stink”.
Our name is “We Stink”.

D.W.: That’s what I said. You stink!
Boy, not too smart either.

# Hiring Muffy

“U Stink” rehearses in the Walters’
living room. Binky is eating cookies.

Fern: We need to decide
what to do next. Like, we

should try and get… What
are those things called?

Molly: A gig.

Mrs. McGrady: And what about music?
We can’t keep playing

the same song over and over.
Maybe we could ask Francine?

Fern: Actually, I wrote
some lyrics the other day.

Binky: Cool.

Fern: But I don’t have a melody.

Molly: Can anyone write
music besides Francine?

Binky takes Fern’s lyrics
and plays a jazzy melody.

Binky: (sings:) "Well, I
thought I saw the other night

a strange…

Molly: No way! That’s not it. You need more
guitar.

"Well, I thought I saw the other night a strange
and tender scene…

Fern: No! It’s supposed to be soft.
(sings:)

“Well, I thought I saw
the other night…”

Molly: (snores) Oh, excuse me.
I must have fallen asleep.

Fern: That’s not very nice.

Molly: This isn’t about being
nice, it’s about making music.

Fern: I listened to you…

Fern+Molly: (talk at once)

Binky: I like the words.
(sings:) “Well, I thought I

saw the other night…

Mrs. McGrady: That’s better. I think we
have too many cooks in this kitchen.

Fern: I know. We need a plan.
We need…

#

Fern is on the phone with Muffy
while the others listen.

Muffy: …a manager. You need me. At
first, I thought I should be the

cute one, but then I realized that
managers make way more money.

Fern: But what does a
manager do exactly?

Muffy: Talks on the phone, have lunch
with important people and makes

you famous. All for a mere fifty…
sixty percent of the profits.

Molly: But we need a new song!

Muffy: Forget the song! When you’re famous
you can buy a song. So how about it?

Fern: Well, okay, I guess.

Muffy: Fantastic! I’ll get right on
it and come up with a plan. See you!

#

Muffy jumps on her bed.

Muffy: I’m a manager! I’m a rock ‘n’ roll manager
and as a rock ‘n’ roll manager I could get

to meet Nick. Hh, maybe… maybe
I could someday manage the Backstreet Boys.

In a fantasy an adult Muffy sits at
a table with the Backstreet Boys.

Muffy: (sings:) “I’m the manager
of your dreams ‘cause I'll

make all of your dreams reality
Got a head full of plans

and schemes

Yeah,
you'll be topping the charts

for eternity.

Bookin' the tours
and promotions, hittin'

the stores on the way. Showin'
my love and devotion each

perfectly managed day.

Nick: “How would I manage without you? You
always know just what to do. (Just what to

do). I'm so

happy to give you your sixty percent. Need
a glamorous manager just like you. How

would I manage? (How would I manage? Without
the manager of my dreams.(Manager of my

dreams). You're the

manager of my dreams. Though I'm not sure
whatcha do, owe it all to you. Ever since

I've been in your hands life is New York and
Paris and Malibu.

in Las Vegas. Nickis giving an interview
in a studio. Muffy holds up a cue card.

Helpin' me seem smart and funny.
Tellin' me I'm lookin' good (You’re

looking good), and makin' me
truckloads of money

like
all dream managers should.

Backstreet Boys stand on the deck
of a steamship in sailor’s clothes.

Backstreet Boys: “How would we
manage without you?

front of the chimneys wearing a posh
dress from the nineteen-twenties.

Muffy: “It's truly a dream being me.
All the fabulous

flash, all the yachts and the cash.
All the manager

stuff that I get to be.

Nick: “How would I manage without you? Oh,
girl, you came down from above (Down from

above.

Muffy: “Somebody has do lunch and
I've got a hunch, you couldn’t

manage (Couldn’t manage), just
couldn’t manage (Just couldn’t manage)”

Nick: “I couldn’t manage (Couldn’t manage)
without the manager of my dreams.

Backstreet Boys: “You’re
the manager of my dreams.”

Nick: “You’re the manager
of my dreams.

"S.S. Gigantic" passes
the iceberg unharmed.

#

Muffy is daydreaming in class.

Mr. Ratburn: If Sally has lost
two-thirds of her marbles, should

she give the remainder to Jim or to Jessie?
Miss Crosswire?

Muffy: Nick! I’d
give them to Nick!

Class: (laugh)

Mr. Ratburn: Well, Nick would be pleased,
I’m sure.

#

Fern is standing in
the cafeteria line.

Everybody waves to invite
her to their table.

Kids: (Fern! Come here!)

Francine: I guess it
pays to be a traitor.

Fern: I’m not a traitor.
You are the one who

quit. Anyway, I can’t
help it if I’m popular.

Francine: They only like you because
you sing in a band that I started.

Fern: That’s not true. They
like me because… They just do.

Francine: How many friends did you have
before you joined “U Stink”? One? Two?

Fern: Just because it
took me a while to make

friends, doesn’t mean
you have the right to…

Mrs. McGrady: Come with me.

The girls follow Mrs.
McGrady in to the kitchen.

Mrs. McGrady: This is ridiculous.
As a libra and a

pisces you two should be as
tight as grits and gravy.

Fern: It’s not my fault!

Francine: She’s the one who…!

Mrs. McGrady: Hear me out! Francine,
you can’t blame Fern for wanting

to continue “U Stink”. It’s a good
group and it’s fun to make music.

Francine: But…

Mrs. McGrady: And Fern, you can’t blame
Francine for being upset. She started “U

Stink”. We should do everything we can to
get her back.

Francine: (sighs)

Fern: I wasn’t trying to take
“U Stink” away from you,

Francine, or sell out, or anything.
I just wanted to mean…

Muffy bursts in with
several rolled up papers.

Muffy: Ah, there you are. I have plans
for making “U Stink” famous. First, we

make a video and send it to the Backstreet
Boys. I know they’ll love it, and

I’m sure they’ll let us sing with them
on tour. After that we cut a demo, make

some licensing deals. It’s great that
you’re in charge now, Fern, because…

Francine: Hhh!!

Muffy: What? What’s wrong?

Francine: Like I said! You’re nothing
but a traitor!

Mrs. McGrady: We can try again
when she’s cooled down.

Muffy: And in the meantime,
we have a video to make.

# Making a Video

A filmset with a backdrop
and some props has been

set up in the garden of
the Crosswire mansion.

Muffy: (hums to herself)

Molly: Why are you putting laundry
detergent on a headstone?

Muffy: It’s called product placement. We don’t have
any sponsors yet, but I want to be prepared.

Okay,
everyone! Into the trailer for a production meeting!

#

“U Stink”, Arthur, Buster
and George are sitting

in a trailer. Muffy shows
them a storyboard.

Muffy: So, here’s the story.
“U Stink” is being

chased by vampires…
That’s Buster and Arthur.

Arthur+Buster: Cool.

Arthur story): Raa! I’d
love to suck your blood.

Muffy: Then I come and save you…

Muffy (story): Behold, I am
Muffy the Vampire Slayer!

Muffy: …and we sing
some of the song.

Fern+Binky (story): La la la la…

Muffy: Then we’re att*cked
by George who’s a zombie…

George (story): Uhhh….!

Muffy: …but I zap him with the fourteen
karat gold watch daddy gave you for

second grade graduation. Then “U Stink”
flies around the world singing the song.

Fern+Binky (story): La la la la…

Muffy: And then I do a symbolic dance
representing peace on earth and stuff

like that. (sighs) It’s just so meaningful.
That’s it. Any questions?

Molly: Yeah. What does any of
this have to do with our song?

Muffy: Oh! Great art is
so often misunderstood.

Just trust me, okay.

#

“U Stink” are sitting in a wooden plane
on the film set. Muffy gives directions.

Muffy: No no no no!

Molly: What is it now?

Muffy: There’s a pyramid right there
on your left, so you have to steer the

plane to the right, otherwise you’ll crash.
Geez, don’t you know how to act?!

Molly: You don’t
know how to direct!

Arthur, Buster and George
are sitting nearby

looking bored. Buster chews
on a stalk of grass.

Arthur: Um board.

Buster: What?

Arthur: I said, I’m bored.

Buster: Me too, and I’ve
eaten too much grass.

George: I don’t think she even needs us
anymore.

Arthur: Hey, Francine,
what are you doing here?

Francine: Well, one thing
I’m not doing is making a

stupid video. What are you
supposed to be anyway, trolls?

Buster: We are vampires. Trolls
don’t have fangs, Francine.

Francine: Whatever. So
how’s your group doing?

Arthur+Buster+George: (Oh!
Well! I… Um!)

Francine: Yeah, yeah, I know. You started your
own group and you ripped off my name, but hey,

forgive and forget is my motto. Plus, I have
an offer that I don’t think you can refuse.

#

Several scenes from the finished video are seen: “U
Stink” sit inside the plane looking bored, while

Arthur, Buster and George shake the plane. Binky,
Buster and Arthur are chased by a large dog.

Muffy (on video): Behold, I am Muffy the Vampire Slayer.

in his face. Muffy does flic flacs in front of a “U
Stink” poster and knocks over the camera and cameraman.

Cameraman: (groans)

Muffy turns off the
TV in her room.

Muffy: Wow, that is just the best. Oh, Nick,
finally, finally I’m going to meet you.

She puts the video cassette and a letter
in a box and addresses it to Nick Carter.

She has a fantasy of Nick Carter
looking at the video in his office.

Nick: This is genius! Who made this?
Ruthie, get Crosswire mansion

on the phone. I want “U Stink” on tour
with us. I want Muffy.

#

Muffy holds the package
into the slot of a mailbox.

Muffy: Postman, Postman, don’t delay.
Send this

to Nick right away.

#

She runs along the street
whistling when she sees

D.W. selling “U Stink”
trading cards in the street.

Muffy: What do you
think you’re doing?!

D.W.: Selling “U Stink” trading cards.
Fifty cents.

Muffy: It may interest you to know that
I am “U Stink”’s manager and I have not

authorized you to make these cards. You’ll be
hearing from my lawyers, D.W.!

D.W.: Okay, and tell them that
if you buy all four at once

you get a free Francine card.
It’s a collector’s item.

The Tibbles stop
at D.W.’s stand.

Timmy: Hey, D.W., we need
three more Ferns and a Binky.

# Preschool Concert

“U Stink” are setting
up in preschool.

Muffy: So, anyway, I sent them the video and
expect to hear back within the week. Meanwhile

you guys better practice because Nick is a
professional and he’s going to have high

expectations.
Ahh! Turn that down!

Okay, I’ll tell them you’re ready.

Mrs. McGrady: Molly, be nice.
She’s just trying to help.

Molly: How? By getting us a gig
at a preschool? I mean, come on.

Fern: This is just for practice.
Muffy says we’ll

be hearing from the
Backstreet Boys any day now.

Molly: Yeah, right.

Binky: Even if the Boys
did want to play with

us, I wouldn’t do it
unless Francine was there.

Fern: What are you saying? We
don’t need Francine. I mean,

we’re just as good without her, right?
Right? Right?

Mrs. McGrady: (coughs)

Mrs. Morgan looks in. The
preschoolers stand behind her.

Miss Morgan: Are you ready for us?
The kids are so excited.

Preschoolers: Yayyy!

Timmy: “U Stink!” Hi, Binky!

Fern: Hey, everyone.

Preschoolers: Wow!

Fern: (sings:) “We see the pretty
boys, we see the fashion queens…”

Timmy: Hey, don’t you
know any other songs?

Tommy: We’ve heard that one
about ten thousand times.

Timmy: You know “Crazy Bus”?

Fern: “Crazy Bus”? I, er, no.
We only know one song.

Mrs. McGrady: I have an idea. Why don’t we just
jam a bit and see what happens? That’s what

all the great jazz musicians do?

D.W.: (yawns)

Molly: Whatever Francine’s doing she’s
got to be having more fun than this.

#

“We Stink” are rehearsing in the
treehouse with Francine as drummer.

George: (sings:) Oh, our name is “We
Stink” We like to play rock ‘n’ roll…”

Francine: Stop! Stop! That’s terrible!
George, can’t you even sing on key?

George: Uh, I don’t know.
What’s “key”?

Arthur: I thought it
sounded kind of good.

Francine: You thought that was good? Arthur,
“We Stink” is never gonna make classic rock

‘n’ roll without some drastic measures,
which is why I think we should fire Buster.

Buster: You’re f*ring me?

Arthur: You can’t fire Buster!
He and I started this band!

Francine: Okay, okay. Maybe
he can clap or something.

Buster: I don’t wanna be in a
band that you’re in. I quit.

Arthur: I quit too!

Buster: We’ll form a new band and call it
“She Stinks”.

George: I don’t mind staying.
We can have a band with

just tambourine and drums, right.
Like Sonny and Cher.

#

A mail truck stops at the Crosswire
mansion. Muffy comes out.

Muffy: Well, where’s
my letter from Nick?

Mr. Higgins: Nothing here from a Nick.

#

Muffy is on the
phone in her room.

Muffy: Hello, operator. Could you
dial the Backstreet Boys for me?

They’re in Florida somewhere.
Thank you.

Nick (recording): Hi,
this is Nick Carter.

Muffy: Nick, it’s Muffy!

Nick (recording):
Thanks for calling.

Muffy: Did you get my…?

AJ (recording): And this is AJ.

Howie (recording): And Howie D.

Brian (recording): And Brian.

Kevin (recording): And Kevin. And
you must be one of our fans.

Muffy: Of course, I’m a fan. Could you put
Nick back on? I have some important to…

AJ (recording): For information on
our upcoming concerts, press .

Kevin (recording): To join
or fan club, press .

Howie (recording): To
buy a CD, press .

Nick (recording): to repeat this…

Muffy: I don’t want any of that.

#

Mr. Crosswire is on the
phone in his office.

Mr. Crosswire: By tomorrow, do you hear?!
No ifs, ands, buts, maybes, whatabouts…

Muffy: Daddy? I have a problem.

Mr. Crosswire: Gotta go! Emergency!
A problem? Well, you

just tell me what it is, Muffin, and
I’ll take care of it immediately.

Muffy: I sent a package
to Nick Carter one whole

week ago, and I haven’t
heard back from him.

Mr. Crosswire: Nick who?

Muffy: Carter. You know, he’s one of
the Backstreet Boys. The one I really

really really like, although I
actually really really like them all.

Mr. Crosswire: Let me get this straight.
You sent a package

to the Backstreet Boys and you
haven’t heard back from them.

Muffy: shakes head
Make them answer me.

Mr. Crosswire: Muffin. There are certain
facts of life I have tried desperately to

keep from you, but… well… I’m afraid I can’t
always help you. This is one of those times.

Muffy: What?? But you’re a
sponsor of their concert!

You’re a Crosswire! You
make things happen!

Mr. Crosswire: Oh, that’s true, sweetums. Now, I might be
able to put in a word at the concert, but as much as it pains

me to say these words, compared to the Backstreet Boys we
Crosswires are… small potatoes.

Muffy: Hh!

Mr. Crosswire: Are you all right, Sweetums?
Can I get you anything?

Muffy: No, thank you. I’m fine.

Mr. Crosswire: Hey, how
about a cheque? Would

a big old cheque make
you feel any better?

#

Muffy looks in the
mirror in her room.

Muffy: I’m a potato. A small potato. I swear,
I’ll meet Nick Carter if it’s the last

thing I ever do! She cries. I swear it as my
great-granddaddy Crosswire is my witness!

# Before the Concert

A concert hall in Elwood City. A screen
announces the Backstreet Boys. The

journalist from earlier and her cameraman
walk past the line of waiting people.

Journalist: Look, it’s
“U Stink” waiting in

line like everybody else.
So, are you excited?

Fern: Yeah, it’s the
biggest night ever!

Journalist: So, what’s
new with “U Stink”?

Fern: Er…

Molly: Nothing’s new, that’s the problem.
We need a new drummer. We need a new song.

Fern: I wrote a new song.

Molly: You wrote half a song.
There wasn’t

any music to it.

Binky: Wanna hear the tune I wrote? It’s
really pretty. (sings:) “Well, I thought

I saw the other night a strange and
tender scene...

Molly: Binky, stop! You’re hurting my ears!

Fern: I wrote the song and I get
to choose what it sounds like!

The journalist takes her microphone back.
Binky goes on singing.

Journalist: Now we finally got a scoop.
“U Stink” on the

brink! Is this the end of the fab foursome?

#

Muffy, wearing a business
suit and a backstage pass and

carrying a bag, approaches a
roadie and gives him money.

Muffy: Whatever you do, just make
sure that Nick stays behind, okay.

The roadie gives a thumbs up and walks
away. Mr. Crosswire approaches.

Mr. Crosswire: There you are, Muffin. Now
remember what I told you. Crosswire Motors is a

sponsor and we’re allowed backstage, but only
on the condition that we don’t bother the Boys.

Muffy: Of course, Daddy.

Mr. Crosswire: That’s my sweetums.

into an elevator. Muffy
takes out a notebook.

Muffy: Okay. Number one.
(high voice:) Hi, Nick. I’m Muffy.

(clears throat; deep voice:) Hello, Nick. How are
you this evening? Yes, that’s better. Number two.

Security: Okay, coming up. We’ll be on stage in five
minutes. We’re at the elevator now.

behind a plant. A security worker comes along,
followed by the roadie and the Backstreet Boys.

Muffy: Nick!

The security and four Backstreet Boys get
in the elevator. The roadie stops Nick.

Roadie: Sorry, only
four boys per elevator.

Brian: What?

Howie D.: Who says?

Kevin: We have to jump.

AJ: What is this all about?

Roadie: It’s the law. The elevator
code of compliance.

There you go, sir. All yours.

Muffy: Mind if I share the elevator with
you. My name’s Muffy.

Binky looks around the audience
at the Backstreet Boys concert.

Binky: Hey, there’s Prunella!
There’s Arthur! There’s the

crosswalk lady! There’s the guy
who mows the playground! There’s

the kid who… oh yeah… You’re the kid who called me a lunkhead,
and kid, don’t think I forgot about you!! I didn’t…

Molly: All right already.

#

Arthur, Binky and George sit down.
The Frenskys sit

together. Binky sits between Mrs.
McGrady and Molly.

Nick and Muffy are
in the elevator.

Nick: (hums)

What was that?

Muffy: I don’t know. We
seem to have stopped.

#

Francine looks glum.

Mr. Frensky: I can’t believe
you’re so grumpy, Francine.

Francine: And I can’t believe
you made me come here

with you. This is gonna be
the worst night of my life.

Mrs. McGrady touches her hand.

Mrs. McGrady: Hello, honey.

Francine: Hi, Mrs. McGrady.

Mrs. McGrady: Isn’t this great? I have a
feeling this is going to be the best night of

your life. My pinky started aching this morning
and that’s always good news.

Francine: You know, I really like
her, but sometimes she’s just bats.

#

Muffy has set up a projector
and filing cabinet inside the

elevator and is lecturing
Nick who is looking confused.

Muffy: “U Stink” will be big, and if you let
us tour with you I can promise you ten percent

of our profits, that’s assuming you fully
recoup our expenses. But I’m sure you won’t

be sorry, and of course my services are always
available to you and the Boys. So, what

do you say? I’m not offering this deal to
anyone else. Only you, Nick, and the boys.

Nick: Hello! We need
some help in here!

#

The other Backstreet Boys are waiting
in the wings with Mr. Crosswire.

Mr. Crosswire: Why can’t you just go on?
What’s one more boy more or less?

Kevin: I’m sorry. We need Nick.
We’re in this together.

Mr. Crosswire: But this is a disaster.
You see those people out

there? They’re getting restless.
I’m not sure I can hold them off.

AJ: You’re gonna have to find Nick.
Has anyone checked the elevator?

Mr. Crosswire: Elevator! I’ll
be right back.

#

Nick is trying to get the
elevator doors open.

Muffy: I just cannot believe you’re going
to let this opportunity pass you by.

Nick: The phone! We haven’t
tried the phone yet.

Muffy steps in front of
the emergency phone.

Muffy: The phone? It doesn’t work.
Oh, hi, Daddy.

Yes, Nick is here. Well, can it wait? I’m
trying to close the deal. Hh, okay, hold on.

It doesn’t work!
It didn’t start! Help, we’re stuck!! We’re

really stuck!

Nick: Hello? No, it’s not working.
Yes, just a minute.

Muffy sits on the ground.

Muffy: I am a Crosswire. I’m a fourth
generation Crosswire. I am a Crosswire.

I’m a fourth generation Crosswire.

Yes, Daddy.
Well, why should I care about your

problems?! I’m stuck in an elevator!! You
know, I have an idea. A perfect idea.

# Backstreet Boys Concert

Mr. Crosswire stands on stage.

Mr. Crosswire: Attention, please. Thank you. Okay. I am Mr. Ed
Crosswire, one of the sponsors of tonight’s concert. Crosswire

Motors is open every day from nine till nine, Sundays and holidays.
Yes, well, there’s been a slight

delay with the Boys, but in the meantime, I’d like to announce that
“U Stink” is in the audience and their manager assures me that

they’ll be thrilled to perform for you.
So, now, please join me in welcoming “U Stink”.

Audience: “U Stink!” “U Stink!”

The “U Stink” members stand up. Binky
and Francine are frozen to their seats.

Binky: I cannot go up there. I can’t
play in front of ten thousand people.

Mrs. McGrady: I don’t
think you have a choice.

Molly: Come on, Francine.
We can’t do it without you.

Binky: I’m not going if
Francine’s not going!

Fern: The truth is, we really need you.
You have to

go up with us. Please?

#

“U Stink” go on stage and
take the instruments.

Francine lifts her
drumsticks, then freezes.

Molly: Go! Come on!

Mrs. McGrady: Francine?

Brian: I felt the same way when I first got on the big
stage. So, don’t look. Just focus on the drumset, think

about the song, and keep the music in your head at all
times. You’ll be fine.

Fern: (sings nervously:) “We see the pretty
boys. We see the barbie girls. Climbing

their way up the charts. The audience
murmurs. Wee see the videos where all the

fashion plates lip-sync their way to your hearts. Well, no offense to them and
no offense to you. Don’t take it personally.

Fern+Kevin: “But when it comes to rock
and when it comes to roll, don’t need to

sell it ‘cause it’s got to be free free
free.

Fern+Backstreet Boys: “Don't want nothing but the
music! Don't need the shiny limousine! Don't

want nothing but the music! Love it or leave it,
the music is all I need. (Music is all I need.)”

Brian: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, once upon a time turned

on my radio when I was feeling
so down (feeling so down).”

Howie: “And all at once I heard
the future calling out.

My heart filled up with the
sound (with the sound).”

Kevin: Might play a stadium or
audience of one but one thing

I know is true (one thing I know
is true)

AJ: “No matter who you are,
the music is the star”

Nick: “And we're just here to let the
music shine through, shine through!”

U Stink+Backstreet Boys: “Don't want
nothing but the music! Don't need

no People magazine (People magazine).
Don't want nothing but the music!

I’m pledging allegiance, the music
is all I need. Don't want nothing

but the music! Don't need some hip
and trendy scene (hip and trendy

scene). Don't want nothing but the music!
I’m pledging allegiance,

the music is all I need. Nothing
but the music. Nothing but the

music. Nothing but the music.”
( applause)

as “U Stink” take a bow. Muffy and Mr.
Crosswire stand in the wings.

Muffy: I told you, Daddy. Am I
a business genius, or what?

#

“U Stink” walk off stage.

Francine: Wow, they
really are good.

Binky: Yeah! Like when AJ did that thing.
“No matter

who you are, the music is the star”.

Mrs. McGrady: They sure
saved our behinds.

Fern: Well, they weren’t the only ones.

Francine: I have to admit,
it felt pretty good to be on

that stage and have everybody
screaming and clapping.

Muffy: This is just the beginning.
Tonight Elwood City, tomorrow the world!

Binky: Are you kidding? I don’t
want to do it anymore. I don’t

mind playing for the PTA, but
there’s too many people out there.

Molly: Now that you mention
it, I gotta quit too. I got

this blister on my finger
and it’s just k*lling me.

Mrs. McGrady: Me too, I’m afraid.
I’ve missed a month’s

worth of bingo and Thora’s
getting pretty peeved at me.

Fern: Didn’t you see what happened out
there? Ten thousand people loved us.

Francine: Fern’s right. We can actually
make it, and you guys want to quit?

Molly: Yeah.

Binky: For a while.

Fern: We’ll just have to
look for some new members.

Francine: There’s always
George and Buster.

#

The Crosswire limousine stops
in front of the concert hall.

Mr. Crosswire, Muffy and Francine
come out of the building.

Mr. Crosswire: Are you
all right, Muffin?

Muffy: I don’t know what’s worse, losing “U Stink” or discovering
that Nick is not a businessman. I mean, I offered him the deal of

a lifetime and he wasn’t even interested. I just can’t love a boy
like that.

Francine: There’s something I gotta do.
Hey! I just wanted to say,

I used to think you guys were sellouts, and I really
do hate that commercial stuff and all, but you

really are good musicians. I guess it’s okay to want
to make it, you know, be famous and all, just so long

as you don’t forget that music is more important,
right? Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Bye now.

Howie: Right.

Brian: Okay.

Nick: See ya.

Kevin: Who was that?

Muffy and Francine sit in the back of
the limo. There is a knock on Muffy’s

window. Howie stands outside. He hands
Muffy one of her overhead films.

Howie: I think this is yours. Nick
said you left it behind. Looks pretty

professional. Hey, maybe you can be our
manager someday.

Muffy: Did you hear what he said? Their
Manager! There I was focusing on Nick,

when all along it was Howie. Howie’s
always looked like the smart one. He’s

cute, too. And, hey, in, like, five
years, we’ve got a “U Stink” reunion tour

with the Backstreet Boys.