01x02 - Hands

[bunniefuu]

Chefs, table 38, two people!

Table 23, four people.

- Broken sauce, Chef. Need a new one.

- Yes, Chef.

Fire 31, 25! Two out on 31, Chefs!

- Still not there. Again, Chef.

- Yes, Chef.

Thank you, Chef.

Wait on 31, Chefs!

- Why?

- Chef,

- I'm sorry. It got too hot

- Why?

- It didn't cool down

- Why?

- Well, it was my fault

- Go.

- Fine.

- Fire 19, Chefs!

Hold on 17, Chefs!

Why do you hire f*cking idiots?

Do you like working with f*cking idiots?

- I'll do better.

- Say "yes, Chef."

- Yes, Chef.

- Can you not handle this?

- Is it too much for you? Answer me.

- I can handle it.

- I can handle it, Chef.

- I can handle it, Chef.

-12! 10! 36! Don't f*ck with my count!

-Fire 8, 13, 36!

- 3! 52! 14!

- Sorry, Chefs! 8, 13, 29!

Why are you serving

broken sauces? Why? I get it.

You have a short man's complex.

You can barely reach over

this f*cking table, right?

Is this why you have the tattoos

and your cool little scars,

and you go out

you take your smoke breaks?

It's fun, isn't it?

But, here's the thing.

You're terrible at this.

You're no good at it.

Go faster, m*therf*cker.

Keep going faster.

Why are you so slow?

Why are you so f*cking slow?

Why? You think you're so tough.

Yeah. Why don't you say this?

Say "yes, Chef, I'm so tough."

- Yes, Chef. I'm so tough.

- Say "f*cking yes, Chef. I'm so tough."

- Yes, Chef. I'm so tough.

- You are not tough.

You are bullshit. You are talentless.

- Say f*cking hands.

- Hands!

You should be dead.

Hands!

the sandwich.

You giving that to the homeless guy?

Hands! Somebody f*cking answer me!

Get that sandwich

Hands!

f*cking Christ! Hands! Please! Please!

Yeah! Thank you! Thank you, Chef!

Now what, I put this in the trash?

Chef, do you want me to

strain that oil for you?

No, no, I got it. Thank you, Chef.

Why am I using a toothbrush, Chef?

It's about consistency

and being consistent.

We can't operate at a higher level

- without consistency.

- I like this level.

- Me, too.

- Yeah, well, at the French Laundry,

- you know how much time

- Well, go f*ck your French Laundry.

Stupid f*cking name.

- Alright, then at Noma

- Oh, and f*ck your Noma, too!

- System, baby.

- Noma's the sh*t, huh?

The best. Teach you

to operate at a level

you didn't even know

you could operate at, Marcus.

And, just so we're clear,

I wanted to work here.

- Mike wouldn't let me.

- No, no, no.

You went halfway around the world

to learn all this fancy,

useless f*cking bullshit.

I went to West Lawrence Avenue

and learned every lesson.

- West Lawrence? You talking about DeVry?

- Yeah, exactly!

Oh, DeVry. We're serious about success.

Oh, is that You supposed

to be f*cking funny, fucko?

Yeah? Let me tell you something. No,

for real! Where else are you gonna learn

crucial database management

specialization skills

while troubleshooting

a vented Optispark distributor

- in a TransAm?

- I would never need to learn that.

Definitely not Noma!

I would legit do anything to go to Noma.

And eat bugs?

- And be inspired, stupid.

- Oh god,

- and be lame.

- The ice cream machine is broken!

- sh*t.

- DeVry teach you to fix that?

You know what?

Actually, yes.

- Go f*ck yourself.

- You graduated?

f*ck no.

Does anyone ever order the ice cream?

- I forgot we had ice cream.

- Hm.

every time in the same direction.

Maria forms the dough,

picking up all the flour,

so her board is clean.

She then kneads it, until it is smooth.

The dough should rest

for at least 30 minutes.

Maria roughly chops two cloves of garlic

and two sage leaves.

She wraps this up in muslin

Fire! Table 16!

17! Table 23! Order!

Go faster, m*therf*cker.

Why are you so slow?

Why are you so f*cking slow?

Take a break, sweetheart.

f*ck!

I see the Benetton green,

they been gone for a minute ♪

This collab is a dream ♪

Grey Poupon had a thing,

eating meals in a car ♪

It made you feel a certain

way when you held that jar ♪

That's what I can achieve,

I feel the same about drops ♪

I feel a bit rare in

the shoes and the watch ♪

Or those Preston socks ♪

- Hey, you got time?

- Hey. Always. What's up?

Uh, I-I just wanted to say

thanks for this past week.

It's been a really

great opportunity. Uh,

but I wanna do more. I wan

- I know. You want more to do.

- More to do, yeah.

And I wanna get paid.

- You get paid.

- I get paid to stage.

I wanna get paid to work here.

I feel like I've been working here.

I-I did do some extra credit though.

It's um Lot of words.

Yeah, but th-they basically say

we're getting k*lled on labor.

We're open from 11:00

to 9:00. That's dumb.

We should be open from

11:00 to 2:00 for lunch

- and 5:00 to 9:00 for dinner.

- Mm-hmm.

Not to mention you're spending money

on pretty high-end stuff.

- Farmers market produce

- Is my hair on fire?

Uh, not yet, no,

but you need help, and

you do this, I mean,

these savings, 20% of them

could cover my yearly salary.

That's not even accounting

for other people's, you know?

Plus, we're sleeping on to-go's.

- That's business just sitting right

- Yeah. No, no, no.

We don't have the support

system or organization

for a food-to-go business.

We need to figure out pack

Packaging, right.

On page 27, randomly, um,

th-there's actually

some a pretty good layout

- of just that.

- Page 27?

Yeah, it's mostly graphics.

Yo, Carm!

- Listen

- Yo.

Yo. I can handle this

myself, cousin. I got this.

So

You're not Ron.

Ron's gone. Gone gone.

- Ron's dead?

- Who is Ron?

My partner, Ron Pager.

He passed away.

I'm running his routes now.

Nancy Chore, Chicago Board of Health.

I'm here to inspect the property.

Okay, Nancy, hi. I'm Carmine Berzatto.

- I'm the owner.

- He's the owner's brother, actually.

He's also dead.

He doesn't look dead.

No, no, I'm not dead. My brother's dead.

- I'm very sorry to hear that.

- Thank you.

Yeah, I'm sorry for your loss, too.

Can I, uh, see some

kind of identification?

Yeah.

Interesting.

Is it? It's interesting.

What's interesting about that?

It's an interesting

logo on the badge.

Nancy, you need anything, just find us.

Make yourself at home.

Okay? Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Where's Tina and Ebra?!

No funny business, Ms. Chore.

- You, too.

- Okay.

I also noted on the COG

that, uh, it's not necessarily flour

that's expensive but the shipping.

So, we could just have

somebody go and pick it up.

Yeah, Marcus.

Okay, sure. Marcus. Great.

No, it can only be Marcus.

Why can it only be Marcus?

Sweeps, Tina, and Ebra don't drive.

Uh, well, what about Richie?

Suspended license.

I-I saw him drive in this morning.

I'm telling you, beware of

b*tches with little notebooks.

Sydney walked in here

a couple of days ago,

and now she running sh*t just like that?

All f*cking willowy and scribbling.

"Chef, I would

do anything to work at Noma."

Bitch, look around. This ain't Noma.

The health inspector is coming in here.

She's not nice. She's not

your friend. She may smile.

Don't See the teeth?

Those are daggers.

The point is it's one of a

hundred things we can do

Sydney.

- to save costs and

- Sydney, Sydney, Sydney, Sydney!

Look, I'm sure this is all

correct, okay? But, it's a lot.

The job you're describing

goes way outside

what I can afford to pay a sous,

which I can barely afford already.

But, I-I hear you, okay?

I have every intention of

turning this into an efficient,

respectable place

of business run by adults.

Oh my god. That's some f*cking ass sh*t!

Eventually.

Does anybody know how dangerous this is?

- Yo! Yo! What's going on?

- Nah, just It wasn't dangerous

- What's dangerous?

- Ms. Chore, until you pulled it out.

I discovered a large hole in the tile.

Looks like a former gas line

next to the stovetops.

Not only was it not properly

dry-walled and caulked,

but someone clogged

the hole with napkins

and then proxied over it

with some kind of plastic.

Don't look at me.

Grease seeped into the napkins

and the proxy became unproxied.

- What does that mean?

- A potential cross-contaminate.

Additionally, no hot water

in the hand station.

Wait, that hot water actua

Okay, that one, you know, Ms. Chore,

I told Chicago Ron this a hundred times.

You just gotta wait a minute

You're gonna talk over

me? And take longer?

so you can relax

on that one. So, relax.

Cool. Good.

Health code states

any sink near a prep area

needs to deliver instantly hot water

- to prevent the spread of bacteria.

- Yeah

I haven't even delivered

the big one yet.

- There's a big one.

- W-what is the big one?

Someone left a pack of cigarettes

on the stovetop near the burners.

Not only very dangerous,

but also a potential contaminant.

- m*therf*cker.

- You can say that again.

m*therf*cker!

Don't actually say it

again, you f*cking idiot!

You're about to get

f*ckin' power-washed, cousin!

Unfortunately! These

violations leave me no choice.

- I award you a C.

- No! No, no, no!

- Wait, no, no, no!

- That's some hood sh*t.

You know what? I'm gonna

caulk that sh*t right now.

Oh, oh, oh, it doesn't

matter how fast you do it.

I can't come back to test for 30 days.

What! It'll take five

No, no, no! Don't touch that.

It will take five seconds to caulk!

- I can caulk! Let me f*cking caulk!

- Richie!

Richie, there's no caulk in-house, dude.

Shut the f*ck up, Fak!

See you all later.

Shut the f*ck up!

Yeah, but I'm saying

there's no caulk in the house.

Dude, it's okay. We'll fix it.

Bitch at me? You wanna run

this place, you f*cking slob?

How do you know

they're not your cigarettes?

Put it in the f*cking window!

You put it in the f*cking window!

Stop! Stop! Let's not do this.

- That's your C.

- Alright! Here's what we're gonna do.

You're gonna go to the hardware store,

you're gonna get some joint compound,

you're gonna get some caulk,

and you're gonna caulk that sh*t.

Okay, well, uh, FYI, I'm

not your f*cking gopher.

FYI?

FYI? FYI?

You cocked it up,

you're gonna caulk it out.

Well, I would love to, but, uh,

my license is expired, FYI.

You drove in this morning

Sydney, you wanna help?

You can take him.

No. Time out. I'll Uber. Thank you.

Grow up.

Surge rates, fucko.

Fine. But I'm taking my car.

I I don't care.

He's that broke that took him out?

- I graduated with a C.

- We know.

Ballbreaker

er er er er

Fak, fix that f*cking sound.

Fix that f*cking sound.

Please fix that f*cking sound!

I will fix it. Fak always fixes it.

The kids come in,

they break it, what happens?

I fix the Balls.

Fak always fixes the Balls.

- Fix it!

- I'll fix the Balls!

Such f*cking bullshit.

Can you, um, can you hold this?

Never look back ♪

- You got You gotta wiggle it.

- Oh.

Okay. I should've known

that I had to wiggle it.

Th-that's on me. That's

me that I don't wiggle it.

I wasn't expecting company, by the way.

These Arby's cups are

from different visits.

I respect that.

Have you seen me lately? ♪

Have you seen me lately? ♪

I ♪

Was out on the radio,

starting to change ♪

Somewhere out in America ♪

It's raining ♪

sh*t

Where is this sh*t?

We can always talk to

somebody who works here

No, no, no. I can find this myself.

Can't believe I'm taking

orders from a f*cking toddler

right now. You know, my entire

life, I had to listen to everybody

acting all worried about him

all the time. "He's a baby."

Don't get Carmine into trouble."

You know?

I was a baby too once, Sydney.

Nobody gave a f*ck.

Okay, um, I'm sorry about that,

but none of that, like,

messed up the wall that

we're here to fix, so

f*ck that. He's giving me crap

about not letting him work

at the restaurant when he was a kid?

You think I give a f*ck

where that dude works?

It was f*ckin' Mikey.

Wait, why didn't Michael want

him to work at the restaurant?

Because he's a little bitch, probably.

Can I ask, like, what

What was, like, the deal with Michael?

Uh, he sh*t himself in

the head four months ago.

Jesus. Uh

W-were you guys, like,

related on your mom's side

or like your dad's or

Neither. He was my best friend.

Boom! There's that sh*t. Told you.

Silicone, adhesive caulk,

acrylic caulk

Are you just reading

what's on the labels?

Okay, we got rubber sealant

I'm gonna find somebody who works here.

No!

I got this.

And then, you know, the,

uh, the produce bill is due.

You know, and the power comes in,

and, uh, I-I can't build

enough of a parachute.

You know, even if we got

this place packed,

that's only, like,

a week of survival cash.

It's exhausting listening to this.

- You asked me what's going on.

- I asked you where you been.

Yeah, you're looking at it.

This is where I been.

Carm, this place is bullshit.

Alright? I mean,

you're never gonna fix it.

Y-you can't start at f*cked.

You understand that, right?

- Is that really a question?

- You're operating a business

historically has a lower

success rate than

I don't know, Chicago f*cking Bears.

You know, you're having

a hard time keeping

your vendors current, your crew paid.

Alright? And we're not even getting into

the money I lent your brother.

I didn't know Michael took money fromyou

He took a lot of money from me.

I mean, cash infusions for this place,

you know, term loans,

which he never paid back.

Now, I gotta hold you responsible.

Okay.

How, uh, h-how much?

300 grand.

Jesus Christ, Jimmy.

Jesus Christ is right, Carm.

And it's not like he

put it into this place.

Still looks like some kid

painted it with his ass.

Look

No disrespect, you know, your brother,

he was an animal, you know,

surrounded by dickheads,

and then he lost his mind, and now

he put you in a real tough spot.

That's why you stopped by?

I stopped by to see you.

Shoulda stopped by to break your legs,

but, you know,

I guess I'm becoming forgetful.

Why'd you give him the money?

Very good question.

You know, I, uh

I don't know. He said he was

gonna franchise the place,

but you knew that was bullshit.

You still gave it to him.

I loved him, too.

Look

Let's just do the easy thing here,

and you sell it to me.

No.

No, you just said restaurants

are bad for business.

Who says I'm gonna keep it a restaurant?

I'll get you the money, Jimmy.

Alright? I promise you.

Oh, sh*t. We're gonna be in

gridlock for over an hour

- 'cause of your new best friend.

- Okay, well

I don't even know why you wanna

work for that little stunad.

- Because he's good.

- Oh my god

Like, whether you like it or

not, he's incredibly talented,

and we could all learn a lot from him.

You know he was one of

Food & Wine's Best New Chefs

Oh, we could

- when he was 21?

- Oh my god!

He was one of

Food & Wine's Best New Chefs?

Is that what you just told me?

That changes everything!

Really good short-term memory,

Richie. Congrats on that.

You know the restaurant could be good.

Like, I know you know that.

Like, it doesn't have to be

a place where the food is shitty

or everybody acts shitty

and feels shitty.

- Like, it could be a good legit spot.

- Okay, you know what, Sydney?

You're getting a little aggressive,

and I think maybe you should just pause

and take a breath

before you start driving.

Okay.

Man or woman, I'm not discriminating.

It's dangerous to get behind

the wheel when you're hysterical.

The f*ck does she keep calling me?

- Hey, why do you keep calling me?

- f*ck me

What's going on with her?

Is she crying again?

What'd you say?

Well

I'd be crying, too.

She's at this different school,

and those kids are a bunch of fuckfaces.

Hold on

Hold on.

Can I just talk to her, please?

Hey, sweetie.

How you doing? You not doing so good?

What's wrong?

Oh, you're scared?

Uh, w-what are you scared about?

Yeah.

I get it.

But, you know what?

You're gonna do great.

I promise.

And if you don't,

I'm gonna give you $500.

But you're gonna do great.

And I'm gonna see you on Friday, right?

Of How can you

Of course, I still love you.

I love you so, so much.

I love you more and more

every day, if that's possible.

I just

No. I don't need to talk to Mommy.

But, uh, call me after,

you know, let me know how it went.

Okay.

I'm so proud of you, kiddo.

I love you.

Sorry. My, uh, ahem,

my daughter's going through a phase.

Uh, yeah. Uh

Uh, h-how old is she?

Uh, she's 5.

Like Carmy.

Food & Wine's Best New Dickhead.

f*ck.

I f*cked up with those cigarettes.

I'm sorry, uh, about Michael.

And I got the wrong caulk, I think.

You did.

But

I didn't.

Oh, sh*t.

- Syd making moves.

- f*ck off, Richie.

Shammy cleaning all the windows ♪

Singing songs about

Edith Piaf's soul ♪

And I hear blue strains of no regret ♪

Across the street from

Cathedral Notre Dame ♪

Meanwhile, back in San Francisco ♪

Carm?

- Hey, Pete.

- Pete : Hey. Uh

Everything okay?

Yeah. No, I'm good. I just, um

Sugar wasn't picking up her phone.

Oh.

Look, I was just, um

Uh, h-hold on. Why Lemme get Nat.

I No, I just

I-I-I'm sorry. I, uh

Nat!

I wanted to talk to you

about something. I, uh, I just

I wanted to apologize.

- Oh.

- Uh, for last time.

No, you know what?

I went to Urgent Care,

and they gave me some stuff

to put on it, and, uh

No, I-I shouldn't

Hey, Nat! Just hold on. Let me grab her.

Oh, uh, okay.

Let me grab her, one second.

No problem! No problem.

- What is going on?

- It's Carmy.

- Why's he calling you?

- I don't know.

You calling Pete?

You weren't picking up the phone.

I'm making dinner.

Did you hear I apologized?

So?

- Cicero was here.

- Yeah, I heard.

I also heard there's a

C in the window? Nice.

Listen, Sugar

I woke up in the middle of the night

cooking a bunch of wrapped frozen sh*t.

I almost set my apartment on fire.

Does that happen a lot?

Sometimes.

Did you look at the thing?

No, I didn't look at the thing.

Pete and I have been going lately,

and it's actually been really nice.

Yeah, of course Pete would go.

Oh, shut the f*ck up.

You want me to shut the f*ck up?

No, not you, sweetie.

Y-you didn't say anything.

Oh. Copy that.

What are you making?

Mom's chicken.

Look, I'm, uh, I'm fine.

Really. You know, I just have

trouble breathing sometimes,

- and I wake up screaming.

- What?

I-I know tons of

people that cry out of nowhere.

Okay. I just sent it to you again.

Like, I don't wanna

bother you, okay? Uh

No, you're not bothering me,

but that isn't, like, un-scary.

When did the breathing problem start?

I think maybe sometime in New York.

I was throwing up every day before work.

Oh. Okay. Well, that sounds chill.

- I kind of dug it.

- You dug throwing up?

No. No, no, it was awful.

Uh, chef was a piece of sh*t.

Then why'd you stay there?

I don't know. Um

People loved the food.

It felt good.

Chefs always say a big part of the job

is taking care of people, right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, I guess.

Okay, well, you can't really do that

if you're not taking care

of yourself then.

And I like when you

tell me things. Just

- I'm asking you to look at the thing.

- Mm-hmm.

It's okay to ask for help.

I understand. I do.

Okay.

And we're over in

a 52nd Street apartment ♪

Socializing with the wino few ♪

Oh, f

Ass!

But they're flying too high

to see my ♪

See my point of view ♪

As we gaze out on ♪

As we gaze out on ♪

As we gaze out on ♪

As we gaze out on ♪

Saint Dominic's preview ♪

Hey, Saint Dominic's preview ♪

Yo. Need you up front.

Uh, y-y-yeah, yeah, yeah.

I-I'll be right there.

Saint Dominic's preview ♪

See them freedom marching ♪

Saint Dominic's preview ♪

Freedom marching ♪

Out on the street, freedom marching ♪

Out on the street ♪

Turn around and come back ♪

Look at the man ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

St. Dominic's Preview ♪

One more time ♪

St. Dominic's Preview ♪

Thank you very much.

Chef, let's fire two chicken peppers,

- two sausage pepper, two mortadell.

- Two chicken pepper,

two sausage pepper, two mortadell, Chef!

- Thank you, Chef.

- Yes, Chef.

Fire, one with sausage

pepper, one with mortadell!

One sausage pepper,

one more mortadell, Chef!

Thank you, Chef.

Okay, let's fire

one more sausage pepper,

- two more mortadell!

- Behind.

One more sausage

pepper, one more mortadell, Chef!

- Two more mortadell.

- Two more mortadell, Chef!

Gorgeous. Thank you, Chef.

- You want a line change?

- No. No, stay. I'll tournant.

- Thank you for taking Richie today.

- Oh yeah, no sweat.

Do you want me to, uh, come in tomorrow?

- Please. You're hired.

- Yeah?

Yes. Your pass, Chef.

Thank you, Chef.

Uh, can I get hands, please?

And fire one more sausage pepper!

One more sausage pepper, Chef!

Thank you, Chef.

Yo. Fix that hole?

Yeah. Yeah. Is the Health

Department coming back?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

- f*ckin' Cicero.

- Cicero.

- We all good in there?

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna burn

one. I haven't had one all day.

- I'll see you in a sec, alright?

- Alright.

f*ck.

Get away from me ♪