06x01 - Really Big Season Opener

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch". Aired: September 27, 1996 – April 24, 2003.*
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Based off the comic book series, Sabrina a magical witch and her black talking cat Salem navigate the teenage years together.
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06x01 - Really Big Season Opener

Post by bunniefuu »

Hi guys, can you borrow me
your sarcophagus?

Of course, it's in the garage, near the
Salem bicycle.

That he begged to have
and he never used it.

I already told you, the seat pinches
my butt.

Miles is going to make a movie
Horror

and I agreed to produce.

Wow, are you going to make a short?

Film.

It's exciting.

are you sure of
the sarcophagus is the only one

thing you need
of your aunts?

You're right.

Is there lunch there?

There's an audition tomorrow and I
I want to offer a snack.

Shall we go back to the word audition?

Normally I don't audition,

but as Miles never saw
my work...

He can die a happy man.

Go cycling on
Traffic.

Look, as much as I want
many talents in the movie,

this is just a cheap movie
of students.

It doesn't do you justice.

Very good.

Sabrina, for an actor no role
it's too small.

Or very cheap.

No!
We can't make the movie.

Damn it!

We were cast in "Duty
Scare" from the other plane.

"Scare Duty"?
It can not be.

we just did this
years ago.

"Scare Duty"?

as jury duty
for witches.

The other plane selects
randomly experienced witches

to teach the new generation
to scare people.

I don't think they accepted
our excuse of

be fighting on the high seas.

They might not be in a movie
Horror,

but they will still scare
people.

really want to scare
people?

leave home without
makeup.

It pinches.

pinch.

I think he damaged the
bike in the car.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
S E - Really Big Season Opener

Translation:
Luly Pordeus

Review and Sync:
Michael Lemos

Not.

Don't tell me you're already
obsessed with Halloween.

It's just a silly holiday.

Like secretary's day.

What's the fun? they just have to
send flowers to themselves.

This has nothing to do
with Halloween.

I'm making a short either
say, a movie.

It's going to be a smashing exploration
of pure evil.

With a musical number at the end.

Can you put the lights back
from the sofa and

the cameras go to
my bedroom.

What do you think of the changes that
did I do it in the script?

bright.

An extra cheerleader
It will give more animation.

Thanks.

I think we should film the
stabbing in her room.

In my room?
Forget it.

There's no way I can leave one
bunch of bad actors

inv*de my personal space.

I'm just the writer and director.

You will have to solve this
with my producer.

I can guarantee no harm
will be caused to you.

Wait a minute,

I know what
it's about

Do you want to play the leader
cheerleading?

Is playing? who in your
perfect judgment

would want to be in the skin
by Mindy Eldeman?

Okay I loved the fantasy but
I have a question

about the character.

mindy can be
written with two "i"?

can take a ride
for us?

Can you show where the
jugular vein?

can show you how
looks dead?

can show you how
sing dead?

If I'm dead why
would i sing?

Next!

Are you still selecting
the cast?

How hard is it to find one
decent cheerleader?

Run, run!
I wish you luck!

Go team!

You got the role!

I don't want the paper.

Sorry.

I should have thought of that before
make a brilliant audition.

I did very well,
I did not go?

I think all these years
mocking the cheerleaders

finally paid off.

Will you accept?

He is well.

But I won't do splits,
pyramids, or use pom-poms.

No problems.

The screenwriter can
rewrite the paper.

Okay, I'll cut the splits.
But I don't give up the pom-poms.

Now our first prince
of darkness,

- Joe Fensterblau?
- It is me.

Beautiful fangs.

There's something about the character
who want to tell

- before I start?
- No, you can check it out.

I actually have one
little guidance.

The vampire is a highly
tormented,

fighting a flurry
internal.

On the one hand he is light as
a delicate flower,

and can be your partner
for all life.

On the other hand, he sees
like lunch.

Go.

Mindy.
Mindy Eldeman,

when I see her eyes,
I see your soul.

I see hunger.
I see passion.

I see it's getting late.

Thanks for coming,
we will be in touch.

Mindy.
Mindy Eldeman.

- Next!
- Mindy.

Next!

Next!

Sabrina, there's no more close.

you just dismissed
the main actor.

I had to. None of them
looks like a real vampire.

Real vampire?

You know... a vampire who
could do justice to your script.
So you're saying that if
I somehow decrease

the quality of the script, we could
hire mediocre actors?

No, what I'm saying is that
the paper needs a professional.

How do I get a professional with
a dollar budget?

I know. we can put a
advertisement in the newspaper

and root for an actor who
want to be very famous.

I think if we don't make it,
I think I can do.

Let's make it.

Wait, listen to this:

"if sorcerers manage to
the g*ng get scary with

a session, will be released to
always from the 'duty to scare''.

Paragraph .

I just fell in love
by that paragraph.

Zelda, you and I wrote a
book about scaring people?

Remember? "Scare people".
by Hilda and Zelda Spellman?

It's going to be easy.

Let's teach the class and then let's go
to Sabrina's movie set,

to prepare for the close-ups.

Three words: out
of focus.

two more words
and have a good trip.

when will i go
learn?

I'm praying that
someone answer the

our ad: wanted
a vampire.

We will.

Mainly because we are
offering salami for free.

I'm going to take the scripts
to the terrace.

Usually people say
"you may come in".

I will go.

As soon as I breathe again
again.

You may come in.

Goodnight.

I'm Vladimir Continsk.

I hope I'm not too
in advance of the audition.

I came flying down the highway
Transylvania. Literally.

Liked it.
It's already featured.

Did you have a chance to look
the script before?

"When I look into your eyes,
I see deep into your soul."

"I see hunger, I see passion.
I see redemption and resurrection."

Let me feed on your beauty,
to live together forever.

- Right.
- Miles.

Sabrina, I think we found
our guy.

I know.
Congratulations, Vlad.

- It's your job.
- Thanks.

I look forward to the
our next meeting.

This one is a great actor.

I know and he still acted
without getting the free salami.

Okay, class,
I want order.

Let's start with me counting one
little about me.

She's Zelda, I'm Hilda.
We'll teach you how to scare

and then we'll get out
from here.

The first thing you need to know
about scaring others is

the Element of Surprise.

In other words...

Maybe you don't have me
ear.

I said...

OK, I'm just
warming up.

leave the legend
show you how.

Legend communicating humiliation.
It's a good speech.

In the scene, you and Rox will see your
best friend,

Cheerleader number two.

She's not home so
decide to wait.

It's hot in the apartment and
you start taking off your clothes.

Miles, that's not in the script.
I'll talk to the producer.

Sabrina.

Everyone keeps their clothes.
Especially me.

Since I'll have to interpret
cheerleader two.

must be ours
vampire.

Goodnight.

You look so familiar.

But I can't remember where.

Maybe you heard mine
voice in the KFC dub.

I make the chicken.

That's it.
Goes into.

Hi Vlad.
We'll start with the scene

of the spaghetti dinner with the
cheerleaders talking about the game.

And you can help yourself
little garlic bread.

Anything against
garlic bread?

Of course he has.

He doesn't want a breath of
garlic why are you going

make a
romance scene.

Miles, your stupid script
made me cut my finger.

Now I'm bleeding.

Blood?

Maybe I can help.

I didn't know that cuts with
paper would be so interesting.

They are for some people.

Can I borrow the mirror?

I'm not done.

you never end,

but maybe Vlad wants
check your makeup.

Okay, break time.

We haven't even started.

Sorry, new rules.

Morgan, Roxie, Miles,
eat garlic bread.

I'll be right back.

By the way, I will do
the "Mindii".

With two "i".

Okay Mr Vladimir Kortensky,
let's see if there is

some information about
you on the internet for witches.

I'm Vladimir Kortensky.
I acted in more than

other's theatrical productions
plan, including

"Don't Drink O+", "Feast of Blood
on the th Floor" and "The Same

Neck Next Year".

I know this guy. It's in everyone
beer commercials.

Special abilities include
juggling, skating,

southern accent and delight me
with mortal blood.

And I don't just interpret
Vampires on TV.

I am one.

I knew it.

You have such beautiful veins,
I can barely wait

to drink your blood.

You are a devil.

Not exactly.

eat some
garlic bread. I insist.

Sabrina,
stop pushing bread
of garlic for Vlad.

thanks to you we are
late.

let's start in
one minute,

as soon as i speak
with Vlad about

our big scene.
By herself.

What big scene?

The vampire kills you in the first
seconds of film.

Obviously you didn't read
the second version.

Now she is also a screenwriter.
She won't go near the edit.

Okay Vlad I just downloaded
your resume.

And I know your big secret.

ok i really don't
I have years.

What do you want me to do?

being young is necessary
for business.

Stop faking. you will drink
the blood of my friends.

I'm a vampire.
That's what i do.

And there was an actor's strike
in the Other Kingdom and I

needed to work.

Look here bloody,
you are in the wrong production,

because I'm a producer, actress
and sorceress.

You can go back to the coffin from where
you left.

You still haven't realized that your
powers don't work

with my kind?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I
I have a scene to do.

And I would really like to
sink my teeth into it.

Why didn't we make one
surf movie?

Zelda, we've been at this for hours
and we still haven't achieved anything

with these brats.

I don't understand maybe
need more for

scare people today
in day.

- Hey, guys.
- There goes the theory.

Sabrina, what's up?
doing here?

And who's winning
big game?

I have a big
problem with the movie.

We place an ad and a
real vampire came

to make the movie.

And you need a woman
beautiful to star with him.

Not.
I need to stop a vampire

to suck someone's blood.

Sabrina, the only way
I know how to prevent

a vampire is nailing a
stake in your heart.

I use a skewer
barbecue.

Miles?
Morgan?

Roxie?

Vladimir!

My God.
I'm late.

Sabrina, Vlad said let's go
the school while everyone

they are still cool.
No, it's "fresh".

Miles you have
problems with the "r".

What am I doing?

I have to get there.

Roxie, I'm here.
I will save you.

Cut!

Sabrina what are you doing?
First you delay

main outlet and now spoils the
outcome of a pivotal scene.

Sorry but we have more problems
serious than the simple fact that

spoil a scene.

Where is Vladimir?

Is with Morgan somewhere
rehearsing the scene.

I have to go.

Good thing we
will film again.

I don't think mine looks good
character scream now.

Do you mind if the director
think so?

Power plug .
Action!

Here's the plan:
strength of numbers.

In we att*ck.

, , .

Get them.

And the strength of numbers?

turns out we are
and them .

I don't believe. We came to teach and
We were att*cked and mocked.

What happened to us?
Why aren't we more scary?

I think the world of mortals
took out all of our scary side.

Get out of there, you scaredy-cats.

Leave the cats out of it.

Enough now.
I'm going home.

What did I just hear?
My sister, one of the most

frightening witches of all,
are you thinking about giving up?

We need to go more
deep inside us.

And remind ourselves of what we're made of.

That's it, girls.

We're back.

So what if he's a vampire
malignant. I am not afraid.

Very well Vladimir, take off
her hands.

Shut up.

Two rooms are already gone.
Missing .

I hope it's not easy
he find a vein.

You are very beautiful.
You have such a lovely neck.

Wait.
For.

I want my best side
appear on camera, then,

you can bite me
This side?

Clear.
I want to do the best I can.

No!

Spellman.
Do you mind?

We are trying to rehearse and
you are inhibiting my style.

I'm sorry but I was
trying to stop Vladimir from

suck his blood.
You can suck mine instead.

What?

It doesn't matter to me.
I'm not picky.

It's fine by me.

It matters to me.

It is not enough to be an actress and producer,
Do you want to be the star too?

my director goes
get to know about it.

How nice of you.
Sacrifice yourself to save your friend.

Well, let's get this over with.

Tasty.

What is your blood type?
I want to know if I drink with

fish or with lamb.

How about with stake?

I knew I should have come
with the barbecue skewer.

I have to go.

, , , ,
who do we annihilate?

That didn't work.

looking for me,
bat boy?

I hope my insurance
health care is paid.

Look at Adam's gone
basketball champion

in , nice, right?

I need the skewer.

Wrong kind of skewer.

Pair
ece yummy.

Whatever.

I think it's true
that say,

red meat can k*ll you.

Sabrina, where are you?
the Vladimir?

He disappeared into thin air.

You sent him away.

I told you, Miles, she wants
spoil her movie

why didn't you choose her
like star.

You're a bad cheerleader,
Sabrina, bad.

No, I can explain.

Not really.

- Hello dear.
- Hey love.

Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, the
what are you doing here?

We are scary again
and we came to your movie.

I won't be a problem, no
worry,

I look good in any
angle.

Look, I can't talk right now.

I actually have papers
for you guys.

Aunt Zelda, come back
monster.

Aunt Hilda, come
with me.

How did you manage to do it
Will Vladimir come back?

Let's say, as
producer,

I moved mine
chopsticks.

Scene background.

Action!

When I look into his eyes,
I see deep into your soul.

I see hunger, I see passion.
I see redemption and resurrection.

Let me feed on your beauty,
to live together forever.

Cut!
Perfect.

Now I reload and
then we start over.

Another take?
That was perfect.

I'm working from
grace here and

I like the moisturizer
of Morgan in my mouth.

But she will come home
like star.

Is there a movie there?
Or just two hours of pure ego?

Where is my name?

It's there.

If you like credits, go
love the ending.

I made a small change
in editing,

the end is now in
start.
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